Big Time - December, 2008

Admittedly, I am late to the warehouse shopping game. After all, I am Tina Gordon, party of one, and I cannot imagine a time when I will need a jar of mayonnaise the size of an aquarium. But, on the advice of experienced Costco members and with the endorsement of my friends who are Sam’s Club members, I ventured into this whole new world of shopping. Granted, I was more interested in bargains on books and electronics than six pounds of salted nuts, but as I strolled down the aisles with a shopping cart larger than my first car, I experienced first-hand that bigger is – on occasion – better.

Start at the TV section, which is where you enter the store. Naturally, the TVs are BIG, and I mean BIG – even too big to fit in the unwieldy shopping cart. I passed packages of cordless phones – six to a pack – giant bath towels, cookware sets, appliances, faucets, snow shovels, tires, men’s suits (that’s right, men’s SUITS!), a set of 40 hand warmers (good if the entire team has cold hands) and exercise equipment. How does one get this stuff home, I first wondered. As I tried to lift a two-pack of Ocean Spray cranberry juice, I realized I couldn’t even get this stuff into the cart, no less into the back of the car. And let’s face it, I will probably be able to live the rest of my life without the need for a six-pack of SPAM.

As I passed a box of SPLENDA the size of Tide detergent, I noticed that size can be deceiving. The large box holds only 1.67 pounds of SPLENDA – more than I will ever need, but deceptively less than one would gather from the package. Ironically, in such a large place with so many big things, the most popular place in the store was where plastic-gloved women were passing out tiny samples of food. My advice – go there hungry. I sampled the samples of ravioli, manicotti and chicken nuggets and washed them down with a tasty sample of margarita mix (without the alcohol, or people would never leave the store).

For a neophyte shopper, the wonders of warehouse shopping are amazing. Giant packages of sundried tomatoes, 24-packs of canned fruit, boxes of 400-count aspirin. I brought home a package of 12 jumbo rolls of paper towels (the equivalent of 20 rolls, the package boasted), a two-pound loaf of apple streusel bread (that turned out to be really good; I’ll try not to eat both pounds at once), a large bottle of olive oil and six pounds of frozen fresh fruit (huh?) that cost less than a small bowl at the supermarket.

Now that I have ventured into the warehouse, I’ll know what to expect next time. I’ll go back for a standing rib roast next month. But I can survive a long time with my new olive oil, and my paper towels will last until this time next year, I’m sure. Maybe by then I’ll trade in my convertible for a truck to haul the stuff home.

Nah, size isn’t everything.