My Amazon Echo (Alexa) is very accommodating when it comes to playing music or sounds to help me sleep. But judging how badly I am sleeping these days – unless I am at the movies – I wonder if I can ask her to play sounds of people munching on popcorn, coughing and opening candy wrappers. Those sounds seem to put me to sleep.
Exactly 10 days after I get a haircut, my hair looks perfect. Sometimes this even extends to the 11th day. On any other day, I vacillate between “It’s too long but maybe I should let it grow” and “I need a haircut RIGHT THIS MINUTE!”
Sometimes I think to myself, “If it were up to me,” and then I realize that whatever it is IS up to me.
I think that after coming back from a three-mile walk in the heat, dripping with sweat under my lip like Richard Nixon, it’s only fair that I should lose 6 pounds. Just sayin’.
If only dieting were a losing proposition, but it has so many ups and downs.
You know when you ask for directions and you listen carefully and nod knowingly but you are sure that after that first right you’re probably going to forget everything you just heard and will have to ask the next person for further directions? Yeah, that’s me.
I recently hooked up a new, 75-foot stainless steel hose that is supposed to be kink-proof and which has a lifetime warranty. I give it two weeks. The hose it replaced must have been guaranteed to kink, because it did – constantly!
If I ever post a picture of a gnome or a fake deer in my yard, please understand that this is code to let you know I am being held hostage and you need to come and rescue me.
Today I heard Martha & the Vandellas (parenthetically, exactly WHAT is a Vendella???) singing “Come And Take These Memories” and sang right along, recalling every word. But I don’t remember what I had for lunch.
There’s one reason that I like the song “Baby Come Back” by the Ohio Players (one-hit wonder?). That’s because of this line: “All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado.” Anyone who can work the word bravado into a song lyric gets my admiration.
I also love the Eagles song “Best of My Love” because of this line: “Every morning, I wake up and worry, what’s gonna happen today.” I can identify with that thinking.
And speaking of song lyrics that I admire, let’s look at Gladys Knight’s “If I Were Your Woman.” Start with the title, which appropriately uses the subjective “were” instead of the more common – and incorrect – “was.” And then there is a line which I swear makes Gladys sound Jewish. She sings,
“You're like a diamond,
But she treats you like glass
Yet you beg her to love you
But me, you don't ask.”
If that doesn’t sound like Sylvia Gordon herself – “But me, you don’t ask” – nothing does!
FACT: If your clothes that need ironing hang around long enough, they eventually look better to you and you will wear them without ironing them.
On those occasions when I have to open a bottle of champagne or Prosecco, I can almost hear Ralphie’s mother from “A Christmas Story” saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
As my dear friend Flora points out, wishing someone a “belated birthday” makes no sense. The birthday has come and gone. It wasn’t belated. It took place right on schedule. It is your birthday wishes that are belated.
I recently killed a fly with my bare hands. I really didn't think my reflexes were that good. I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself or disgusted.
When you buy stamps, do you care what they look like? I found some “Love” stamps in the drawer and just couldn’t bring myself to use them to pay my dentist bill (there are still some bills I pay by check). I went out and bought a book of the generic “Forever” stamps so I could use the Love stamps on birthday cards. The things I take time to consider could drive me crazy!
I recently left this typewritten note to my mail carrier: “Dear Mail Carrier: Please do not cram a bright orange envelope from Shutterfly into my mailbox. It contains photographs, and if they get bent, they will be ruined. Thank you.” I taped the note to my mailbox and slipped a $5 bill inside. When I checked my mail later that day, it was gone. The next day I found a bright orange envelope from Shutterfly crammed into my mailbox (luckily, everything was perfectly packed). So much for that strategy.
I go to water aerobics three times a week and afterwards, our group plays volleyball in the pool. Not only is this athletically rewarding, but the conversations are hilarious. Most are centered around food. One woman recently professed her love for powdered mashed potatoes, which she insists have improved since they were introduced years ago. She likes to eat them with stuffing and cranberry sauce, and even suggested that she would love them as a sandwich. I couldn’t help pointing out that she was just missing turkey, but she’d rather do a carb overload than consume meat -- except for the ham sandwich she eats every morning before she comes to the pool. I’m not sure this makes any sense to most of us, but we all have our idiosyncrasies, don’t we? We also have profound discussions about important issues. For example, if you are retired and you travel, can you call your trip a vacation? If you don’t work, do you get a vacation?
I find myself relying more than ever on closed captioning when I watch television. First, people mumble. My BFF says she and her husband will hit the replay button 3 times to see if they can understand the dialog, and, if they can’t, they just move on. I get that. Second, if I am watching people with British accents, I NEED closed captioning, because I could replay a scene 10 times and still not understand what they are saying. Half of the time I’m reading the dialog just because it is easier to read than to listen.
I live in an “active adult” community, which means everyone here is at least 55 but not dead yet. There are more than 1500 people here, and I swear half of the women are named Anne or Barbara.
When the people in this community go to the pool, no one swims. They stand in the pool, chatting. Oh, a few bring “noodles” into the pool and occasionally float a bit, but mainly they chat. And they all wear hats and sunglasses, both men and women. The only difference is that while the men wear baseball caps, the women wear all kinds of hats, visors, sombreros – and way too many have been bedazzled.
This is also the land of OPDS – Old People Driving Slowly. The exceptions are the few rebels who refuse to obey the community stop signs. The township has no control over our streets, and, apparently, neither do we, since some people adamantly refuse to stop. Not that there is exactly a drag strip here, since we are populated by OPDS. Nevertheless, the failure to adhere to the simple stop command has forced the Board to announce we will soon be subjected to the installation of “speed bumps.” This decision was met with many comments by residents who think they will slow down ambulances (again, this IS a 55+ community), interfere with snow plows and, generally, slow people down. Isn’t that the point?
Friday, July 14, 2017
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Tina's June 2017 Movies
It was a good month for movies, with Wonder Woman at the top of the list. I ventured outside the movies to include Season 5 of Netflix's Orange Is the New Black, a worthy addition to the list. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 at the top. Those marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously. Numbering picks up from previous months.
64. If You’re Not in the Obits, Eat Breakfast* (2017) – Actor, writer, director, raconteur and nonagenarian Carl Reiner takes center stage in this clever documentary about growing old but not extinct. Reiner, who created (with manic Mel Brooks) “The 2000 Year Old Man,” is still – like Brooks himself – writing, performing and keeping the world laughing. Reiner is joined here by other comic entertainers, like the still-spry Dick Van Dyke, Golden Girl Betty White, and TV and movie producer and legend Norman Lear, who insists that he gets applause just for showing up alive. This film is a tribute not just to longevity, but to a lifetime of laughter. When it comes to Reiner, I’ll have what he’s having. 3½ cans.
65. Blood Ties: The Mendendez Brothers* (2017) – If you were alive in the early 1990s, you will recall the “trial of the century” (which it remained until the OJ Simpson trial came along). Brief summary: Brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez grow up overindulged in Beverly Hills and, thinking they will be cut off by their wealthy parents, they brutally kill their father and mother in their own home. Their defense for this heinous crime? They both claim they were sexually molested by their father, and they simply snapped. That is, of course, after one brother writes a movie script depicting the same scenario AND after they buy guns. This story was all over the news at the time, with the two clean-cut looking young men telling their tale to a packed courtroom as America watched on the fledgling Court TV channel. I had forgotten much of the detail, but it has been 25 years! Whether or not the “boys” (as they were referred to in court and in the press) told the truth about their motive cannot be proven, but the film recounts the details of the case in a two-hour documentary for which there is an unending supply of footage. Later this year an eight-part series is coming our way, so now I have finished the prerequisite for that course. It remains as compelling a case now as it was back then. 3½ cans.
66. Shop Girl* (2005) – This Steve Martin story is billed as a comedy, and, while it has its moments, I thought it was a sad and underplayed movie. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a lonely young woman who enjoys creating art but who supports herself by working as a clerk in the glove department at Saks in LA. She begins dating two completely different types of men at almost the same time. Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) is young and sloppy and unpolished. Ray Porter (Martin) is his opposite – poised, classy, wealthy and unable to commit to a relationship. Mirabelle seems all too eager and willing to give herself to either of these men. And though Ray is clear that he isn’t looking for a permanent relationship, she can’t help falling for him. Martin is far from the manic guy we are used to seeing, bursting with physicality. He so underplays the role that I wondered what – besides his money – drew Mirabelle to him. No more plot points. I know this movie is based on a short novel of Martin’s, and I always wanted to see it, but it did not live up to my expectations. 3 cans.
67. Churchill* (2017) – It is three days before D-Day in 1944, and the invasion of Normandy is ready to go under the Allied command of American General Dwight Eisenhower. Not so fast, says British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (Bryan Cox in an Oscar-worthy performance). Fearful of repeating the disaster that resulted in significant loss of life in Gallipoli in 1915, Churchill first counsels against the plan and then insists that he be on the first ship to land. As history shows, the plan went ahead (with Churchill on terra ferma), enabling the Allied forces to drive the Germans out of France and win World War II (if you can actually “win” a war…). Stooped over, shoulders hunched and surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke, Churchill is at once intimating yet feeble. The war and his duty have worn him down. With his wife getting the brunt of his brooding, he needs support and strength. He looks defeated before the invasion starts. But as a leader, Churchill knows he needs to rally himself and be strong for his country. This movie is an excellent character study and a reminder that war is hell. 4 cans.
68. Danny Collins* (2015) – Al Pacino plays aging rocker Danny Collins, a world-weary music headliner who spends too much time with younger women and too much money on drugs. Once a prodigy who claimed to be influenced by John Lennon, Danny is surprised when his manager gives him a letter he uncovered that Lennon wrote to Danny years before but that Danny never received. Just seeing that letter is enough to make Danny reconsider his choices and attempt to reconnect with the now-grown son he never knew (Bobby Canavale). Danny alternates between bombastic and charming, especially as he roosts at a New Jersey hotel and tries to win over its manager (Annette Bening in a part not really worthy of her skills as an actress). Danny is trying to be a dad and a grandfather but in reality, he’s an old rich guy whose groupies are as old as he is (hey, take a look at the crowd at a Rolling Stones concert sometime). Pacino hasn’t been a favorite of mine since “The Godfather,” but he plays this part well. 3 cans.
69. Definitely Maybe* (2008) – Ryan Reynolds is Will Hayes, a political consultant with a precocious 11-year old daughter (Abigail Breslin) who wants to know whether her mother Emily (Elizabeth Banks) is really her mother since Mom and Dad are divorcing. With some reluctance, Dad starts to share the story of the great loves of his life, all of whom came along at the wrong time or were the wrong people for him. Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher are his past girlfriends, both of whom he loved enough to marry but didn’t. This romantic comedy gets its juice from Reynolds’ extreme likeability. Very enjoyable for a light movie. 3½ cans.
70. The Book of Henry* (2017) – Talk about precocious kids (see above): Henry (Jayden Lieberher) is an 11-year old with more smarts and wisdom than most of the adults around him, including his loving but somewhat ditzy mother (Naomi Watts), a video game-playing waitress who wisely lets Henry manage her money. Henry and his younger brother (played by the adorable Jacob Tremblay, who was so memorable in “Room”) are good kids, but when Henry suspects that his friend next door (Maddie Ziegler) is being abused by her stepfather, he feels compelled to act. But who is going to take the word of a kid, especially when the suspect is a cop? This is a family story that slips into an unexpected suspense thriller with Henry’s plotting every move. More than one plot point was hard to believe, but the story held my attention and the acting was terrific. 3½ cans.
71. Fracture (2007) – I’ve written about this movie previously, but if you want to see a taut thriller with plenty of twists and turns, try this one. Willie Beachum (Ryan Gosling), an LA assistant prosecutor, has one foot out the door, headed to a cushy job at a prestigious law firm, when he catches the case of a man who has just been arrested for shooting his wife. The police have his signed confession and the murder weapon, so the case should be a quick and easy one for young Mr. Beachum, except that maybe they don’t. Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is a clever and sinister guy who has plotted out his cheating wife’s shooting and has enough smarts and moxie to derail the case against him. If you want to spend time watching a riveting movie – really watching, not playing Candy Crush on your phone – this is the movie for you. Plus, did I mention Ryan Gosling? 4½ cans.
72. The Departed (2006) – This intense drama is not for the faint of heart, and you had better pay attention when you watch it, because the action is fast and furious (oops, that’s a different movie…). Matt Damon is a cop who is really a mobster planted in the police department to give the inside dope (info, not drugs!) to the mob boss played by Jack Nicholson. Leonardo DiCaprio is also a cop but recruited by the higher ups for a secret mission that puts him in tight with the mob so he can rat out their activities to the cops. Lost yet? Both sides are sure there is a mole among them, and whom can you trust? DiCaprio’s Billy Costigan even does a stint in jail to make his background authentic enough to be trusted by the mob. Every time someone appears to be cornered and about to have his identity revealed, they somehow slither out of it. This is a Martin Scorsese movie, the man who gave us “Goodfellas,” so there is the requisite violence, shooting, bleeding and murder, along with the most frequent use of the “F” word that I can ever recall. Excellent cast, in addition to Damon and DiCaprio, with Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg. Tough to watch but worth the time. 4 cans.
73. The Wolf of Wall Street* (2013) – And speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, he gives an absolutely stunning performance again, here as Wall Street broker Jordan Belfort, a broker with a real edge. Jordan builds a business by hiring his childhood friends, all of whom favor bilking small investors and practicing non-stop debauchery. And the use of the F word proliferates here, too. Jonah Hill is Jordan’s right hand man, empowered to hire, fire and exploit staff or whomever is within shouting distance. I watched this movie because it was recommended by a friend, but I found the entire thing completely repugnant. The sets, the fast delivery of dialog and the acting here were all outstanding, but I absolutely hated the milieu depicted. For once, I could not even finish the movie, so my rating will be an incomplete.
74. Sleepless in Seattle (1994) – The sequel to this movie is “Sleepless in Somerset,” which accounts for why I was up at 5 AM one morning watching this great rom-com. The fabulous Tom Hanks is Sam, a widower with a young son, Jonah (Ross Malinger). When Jonah calls a radio station about his lonely and grieving father, women all over the country hear dear old dad and fall instantly in love. That includes Annie (Meg Ryan, when she looked like Meg Ryan), a Baltimore-based news writer engaged to a boring fiancée (Bill Pullman) who is intrigued by the man who proclaims he is sleepless in Seattle. The story takes its cue from the great Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr romance, “An Affair to Remember,” with its main characters promising to meet at New York’s Empire State Building. Hollywood has largely abandoned the romantic comedy in favor of the “franchise” movies, from “The Hunger Games” to all those “Star Wars” sequels and prequels, but I miss them! I’m not desperate enough to watch Lifetime or Hallmark movies of this ilk, because the classics, like this one, “While You Were Sleeping,” “When Harry Met Sally,” etc., were absolute charmers that continue to bring a smile to my face. Plus, this one has Hanks. 4 cans. And a nap, because I really am sleepless in Somerset.
75. The Bodyguard (1992) – It is impossible to see this movie and not feel a profound sense of loss over the premature death of star Whitney Houston. She was such a beautiful, talented and troubled woman, and seeing her here, lighting up the screen as fictional actress-singer Rachel Marron, reminded me of her extraordinary voice and promise. Rachel is being stalked so she hires former Secret Service agent Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner) to protect her. He’s all business, which annoys Rachel and her entourage as he tries to set up the level of protection he feels she needs. And then he falls for Rachel. He is after a stalker who seems just a little too professional, and with Rachel up for an Oscar, protecting her in a public venue will be a challenge even for Frank. Not a great movie, but good chemistry between Costner and Houston. And that voice! 3½ cans.
76. Wonder Woman* (2017) – Holy smokes, Batman! There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Descended from the badass Amazons on an island with no men, Diana is trained as a princess warrior, and if you catch one look at Gal Gadot, you will know why. She’s tough and fierce and absolutely stunning. She rescues American spy Steve (Chris Pine), who tells her about the raging World War he is trying to end and she’s ready to leave the island behind and roll right along with him. Along the way she demonstrates female empowerment, smarts, athleticism, naiveté and damn fine skills with a shield and a sword. Loud, violent (though not bloody in the least), inspiring, witty in parts and completely unbelievable, this movie is everything I hate about action movies – except that I loved it! I was cheering out loud even while I scoffed at Wonder Woman’s quick change from a formal dress to her WW ensemble, complete with bullet-rejecting wrist bands. Rock on with your bad self, Diana. I’m totally down for the sequel(s). 4 cans.
77. Lifeguard (1975) – Rick Carlson (Sam Elliott) has a great life: Lifeguard on the beach in South California by day, partying with stewardesses (this was the era before flight attendants), nurses and all measure of attractive young women at night, tooling around in his ‘Vette. He loves his job and takes it seriously, watching the beach, saving swimmers (he boasts a rate of “3 out of 5” when asked if he has saved anyone today), breaking up fights, and just taking time to think. But what is enough for Rick, now 15 years removed from his high school graduation, isn’t enough for other people. His friend Larry wants him to work in his car dealership, selling Porsches. And when he reconnects with his high school girlfriend Cathy (Anne Archer) at their Reunion, his “career” comes into question. Will he give up the surf and the sand and get a “real” job? Is his just being Rick Carlson enough for Cathy, a divorcee with a young son? I first saw this movie years ago and immediately loved it. Elliott is the perfect Rick, and when Archer looks at him, you see that she regrets the years they have been apart and wants him to be part of a happy life with her. Kathleen Quinlan plays Wendy, a lonely 17-year old with a major crush on Rick, and you feel her pain. What is adulting anyway? I picture Rick staying at the beach for a very long time to come. 4 cans.
78. Orange Is the New Black (2017) – OK, I know this isn’t a movie, but my readers have told me that they want to see more of my reviews, so I thought I would include season 5 of OITNB here. The new season picks up exactly where season 4 ended, with a riot among the inmates at Litchfield Prison, and the prisoners have the upper hand. There’s a gun and a shooting and major shifts in power. The main character in OITNB started out as Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), but she has lost much of her relevance as the story arcs of other characters have dominated the series. It seems to me they have to find things to incorporate her into the plotlines. I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but I can tell you that the entire season takes place in just a few days this time around, and there are new alliances, revelatory looks back on what happened to these women to get them to this awful place, and plenty of drama and humor. There is humanity and violence, caring and anger, all of which is reflective of our society as a whole. The season is perfectly set up for whole new characters and plots in Season 6 – but we have to wait a year to get there! Special plaudits for this year’s acting, especially to Danielle Brooks as Tastee and Uzo Aduba as Suzanne. If it were up to me, these characters would be in Litchfield for life, because I can’t get enough. 5 cans.
64. If You’re Not in the Obits, Eat Breakfast* (2017) – Actor, writer, director, raconteur and nonagenarian Carl Reiner takes center stage in this clever documentary about growing old but not extinct. Reiner, who created (with manic Mel Brooks) “The 2000 Year Old Man,” is still – like Brooks himself – writing, performing and keeping the world laughing. Reiner is joined here by other comic entertainers, like the still-spry Dick Van Dyke, Golden Girl Betty White, and TV and movie producer and legend Norman Lear, who insists that he gets applause just for showing up alive. This film is a tribute not just to longevity, but to a lifetime of laughter. When it comes to Reiner, I’ll have what he’s having. 3½ cans.
65. Blood Ties: The Mendendez Brothers* (2017) – If you were alive in the early 1990s, you will recall the “trial of the century” (which it remained until the OJ Simpson trial came along). Brief summary: Brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez grow up overindulged in Beverly Hills and, thinking they will be cut off by their wealthy parents, they brutally kill their father and mother in their own home. Their defense for this heinous crime? They both claim they were sexually molested by their father, and they simply snapped. That is, of course, after one brother writes a movie script depicting the same scenario AND after they buy guns. This story was all over the news at the time, with the two clean-cut looking young men telling their tale to a packed courtroom as America watched on the fledgling Court TV channel. I had forgotten much of the detail, but it has been 25 years! Whether or not the “boys” (as they were referred to in court and in the press) told the truth about their motive cannot be proven, but the film recounts the details of the case in a two-hour documentary for which there is an unending supply of footage. Later this year an eight-part series is coming our way, so now I have finished the prerequisite for that course. It remains as compelling a case now as it was back then. 3½ cans.
66. Shop Girl* (2005) – This Steve Martin story is billed as a comedy, and, while it has its moments, I thought it was a sad and underplayed movie. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a lonely young woman who enjoys creating art but who supports herself by working as a clerk in the glove department at Saks in LA. She begins dating two completely different types of men at almost the same time. Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) is young and sloppy and unpolished. Ray Porter (Martin) is his opposite – poised, classy, wealthy and unable to commit to a relationship. Mirabelle seems all too eager and willing to give herself to either of these men. And though Ray is clear that he isn’t looking for a permanent relationship, she can’t help falling for him. Martin is far from the manic guy we are used to seeing, bursting with physicality. He so underplays the role that I wondered what – besides his money – drew Mirabelle to him. No more plot points. I know this movie is based on a short novel of Martin’s, and I always wanted to see it, but it did not live up to my expectations. 3 cans.
67. Churchill* (2017) – It is three days before D-Day in 1944, and the invasion of Normandy is ready to go under the Allied command of American General Dwight Eisenhower. Not so fast, says British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (Bryan Cox in an Oscar-worthy performance). Fearful of repeating the disaster that resulted in significant loss of life in Gallipoli in 1915, Churchill first counsels against the plan and then insists that he be on the first ship to land. As history shows, the plan went ahead (with Churchill on terra ferma), enabling the Allied forces to drive the Germans out of France and win World War II (if you can actually “win” a war…). Stooped over, shoulders hunched and surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke, Churchill is at once intimating yet feeble. The war and his duty have worn him down. With his wife getting the brunt of his brooding, he needs support and strength. He looks defeated before the invasion starts. But as a leader, Churchill knows he needs to rally himself and be strong for his country. This movie is an excellent character study and a reminder that war is hell. 4 cans.
68. Danny Collins* (2015) – Al Pacino plays aging rocker Danny Collins, a world-weary music headliner who spends too much time with younger women and too much money on drugs. Once a prodigy who claimed to be influenced by John Lennon, Danny is surprised when his manager gives him a letter he uncovered that Lennon wrote to Danny years before but that Danny never received. Just seeing that letter is enough to make Danny reconsider his choices and attempt to reconnect with the now-grown son he never knew (Bobby Canavale). Danny alternates between bombastic and charming, especially as he roosts at a New Jersey hotel and tries to win over its manager (Annette Bening in a part not really worthy of her skills as an actress). Danny is trying to be a dad and a grandfather but in reality, he’s an old rich guy whose groupies are as old as he is (hey, take a look at the crowd at a Rolling Stones concert sometime). Pacino hasn’t been a favorite of mine since “The Godfather,” but he plays this part well. 3 cans.
69. Definitely Maybe* (2008) – Ryan Reynolds is Will Hayes, a political consultant with a precocious 11-year old daughter (Abigail Breslin) who wants to know whether her mother Emily (Elizabeth Banks) is really her mother since Mom and Dad are divorcing. With some reluctance, Dad starts to share the story of the great loves of his life, all of whom came along at the wrong time or were the wrong people for him. Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher are his past girlfriends, both of whom he loved enough to marry but didn’t. This romantic comedy gets its juice from Reynolds’ extreme likeability. Very enjoyable for a light movie. 3½ cans.
70. The Book of Henry* (2017) – Talk about precocious kids (see above): Henry (Jayden Lieberher) is an 11-year old with more smarts and wisdom than most of the adults around him, including his loving but somewhat ditzy mother (Naomi Watts), a video game-playing waitress who wisely lets Henry manage her money. Henry and his younger brother (played by the adorable Jacob Tremblay, who was so memorable in “Room”) are good kids, but when Henry suspects that his friend next door (Maddie Ziegler) is being abused by her stepfather, he feels compelled to act. But who is going to take the word of a kid, especially when the suspect is a cop? This is a family story that slips into an unexpected suspense thriller with Henry’s plotting every move. More than one plot point was hard to believe, but the story held my attention and the acting was terrific. 3½ cans.
71. Fracture (2007) – I’ve written about this movie previously, but if you want to see a taut thriller with plenty of twists and turns, try this one. Willie Beachum (Ryan Gosling), an LA assistant prosecutor, has one foot out the door, headed to a cushy job at a prestigious law firm, when he catches the case of a man who has just been arrested for shooting his wife. The police have his signed confession and the murder weapon, so the case should be a quick and easy one for young Mr. Beachum, except that maybe they don’t. Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is a clever and sinister guy who has plotted out his cheating wife’s shooting and has enough smarts and moxie to derail the case against him. If you want to spend time watching a riveting movie – really watching, not playing Candy Crush on your phone – this is the movie for you. Plus, did I mention Ryan Gosling? 4½ cans.
72. The Departed (2006) – This intense drama is not for the faint of heart, and you had better pay attention when you watch it, because the action is fast and furious (oops, that’s a different movie…). Matt Damon is a cop who is really a mobster planted in the police department to give the inside dope (info, not drugs!) to the mob boss played by Jack Nicholson. Leonardo DiCaprio is also a cop but recruited by the higher ups for a secret mission that puts him in tight with the mob so he can rat out their activities to the cops. Lost yet? Both sides are sure there is a mole among them, and whom can you trust? DiCaprio’s Billy Costigan even does a stint in jail to make his background authentic enough to be trusted by the mob. Every time someone appears to be cornered and about to have his identity revealed, they somehow slither out of it. This is a Martin Scorsese movie, the man who gave us “Goodfellas,” so there is the requisite violence, shooting, bleeding and murder, along with the most frequent use of the “F” word that I can ever recall. Excellent cast, in addition to Damon and DiCaprio, with Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg. Tough to watch but worth the time. 4 cans.
73. The Wolf of Wall Street* (2013) – And speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, he gives an absolutely stunning performance again, here as Wall Street broker Jordan Belfort, a broker with a real edge. Jordan builds a business by hiring his childhood friends, all of whom favor bilking small investors and practicing non-stop debauchery. And the use of the F word proliferates here, too. Jonah Hill is Jordan’s right hand man, empowered to hire, fire and exploit staff or whomever is within shouting distance. I watched this movie because it was recommended by a friend, but I found the entire thing completely repugnant. The sets, the fast delivery of dialog and the acting here were all outstanding, but I absolutely hated the milieu depicted. For once, I could not even finish the movie, so my rating will be an incomplete.
74. Sleepless in Seattle (1994) – The sequel to this movie is “Sleepless in Somerset,” which accounts for why I was up at 5 AM one morning watching this great rom-com. The fabulous Tom Hanks is Sam, a widower with a young son, Jonah (Ross Malinger). When Jonah calls a radio station about his lonely and grieving father, women all over the country hear dear old dad and fall instantly in love. That includes Annie (Meg Ryan, when she looked like Meg Ryan), a Baltimore-based news writer engaged to a boring fiancée (Bill Pullman) who is intrigued by the man who proclaims he is sleepless in Seattle. The story takes its cue from the great Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr romance, “An Affair to Remember,” with its main characters promising to meet at New York’s Empire State Building. Hollywood has largely abandoned the romantic comedy in favor of the “franchise” movies, from “The Hunger Games” to all those “Star Wars” sequels and prequels, but I miss them! I’m not desperate enough to watch Lifetime or Hallmark movies of this ilk, because the classics, like this one, “While You Were Sleeping,” “When Harry Met Sally,” etc., were absolute charmers that continue to bring a smile to my face. Plus, this one has Hanks. 4 cans. And a nap, because I really am sleepless in Somerset.
75. The Bodyguard (1992) – It is impossible to see this movie and not feel a profound sense of loss over the premature death of star Whitney Houston. She was such a beautiful, talented and troubled woman, and seeing her here, lighting up the screen as fictional actress-singer Rachel Marron, reminded me of her extraordinary voice and promise. Rachel is being stalked so she hires former Secret Service agent Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner) to protect her. He’s all business, which annoys Rachel and her entourage as he tries to set up the level of protection he feels she needs. And then he falls for Rachel. He is after a stalker who seems just a little too professional, and with Rachel up for an Oscar, protecting her in a public venue will be a challenge even for Frank. Not a great movie, but good chemistry between Costner and Houston. And that voice! 3½ cans.
76. Wonder Woman* (2017) – Holy smokes, Batman! There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Descended from the badass Amazons on an island with no men, Diana is trained as a princess warrior, and if you catch one look at Gal Gadot, you will know why. She’s tough and fierce and absolutely stunning. She rescues American spy Steve (Chris Pine), who tells her about the raging World War he is trying to end and she’s ready to leave the island behind and roll right along with him. Along the way she demonstrates female empowerment, smarts, athleticism, naiveté and damn fine skills with a shield and a sword. Loud, violent (though not bloody in the least), inspiring, witty in parts and completely unbelievable, this movie is everything I hate about action movies – except that I loved it! I was cheering out loud even while I scoffed at Wonder Woman’s quick change from a formal dress to her WW ensemble, complete with bullet-rejecting wrist bands. Rock on with your bad self, Diana. I’m totally down for the sequel(s). 4 cans.
77. Lifeguard (1975) – Rick Carlson (Sam Elliott) has a great life: Lifeguard on the beach in South California by day, partying with stewardesses (this was the era before flight attendants), nurses and all measure of attractive young women at night, tooling around in his ‘Vette. He loves his job and takes it seriously, watching the beach, saving swimmers (he boasts a rate of “3 out of 5” when asked if he has saved anyone today), breaking up fights, and just taking time to think. But what is enough for Rick, now 15 years removed from his high school graduation, isn’t enough for other people. His friend Larry wants him to work in his car dealership, selling Porsches. And when he reconnects with his high school girlfriend Cathy (Anne Archer) at their Reunion, his “career” comes into question. Will he give up the surf and the sand and get a “real” job? Is his just being Rick Carlson enough for Cathy, a divorcee with a young son? I first saw this movie years ago and immediately loved it. Elliott is the perfect Rick, and when Archer looks at him, you see that she regrets the years they have been apart and wants him to be part of a happy life with her. Kathleen Quinlan plays Wendy, a lonely 17-year old with a major crush on Rick, and you feel her pain. What is adulting anyway? I picture Rick staying at the beach for a very long time to come. 4 cans.
78. Orange Is the New Black (2017) – OK, I know this isn’t a movie, but my readers have told me that they want to see more of my reviews, so I thought I would include season 5 of OITNB here. The new season picks up exactly where season 4 ended, with a riot among the inmates at Litchfield Prison, and the prisoners have the upper hand. There’s a gun and a shooting and major shifts in power. The main character in OITNB started out as Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), but she has lost much of her relevance as the story arcs of other characters have dominated the series. It seems to me they have to find things to incorporate her into the plotlines. I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but I can tell you that the entire season takes place in just a few days this time around, and there are new alliances, revelatory looks back on what happened to these women to get them to this awful place, and plenty of drama and humor. There is humanity and violence, caring and anger, all of which is reflective of our society as a whole. The season is perfectly set up for whole new characters and plots in Season 6 – but we have to wait a year to get there! Special plaudits for this year’s acting, especially to Danielle Brooks as Tastee and Uzo Aduba as Suzanne. If it were up to me, these characters would be in Litchfield for life, because I can’t get enough. 5 cans.
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