Summer Silliness

If the bags under my eyes get any bigger, I will have to check them with my luggage when I travel because they won’t qualify as carry-ons.

Everyone who has ever lived in the Somerville area is familiar with the nightmare we call the Somerville Circle.  So what idiot decided it would be a good idea to put a new QuickChek – complete with a gas station, not just a store – right between the entrance to the circle from 202 and the exit to 206 South?  They might as well leave a patrol car and an ambulance in the parking lot, because with all the traffic in that area already, the last thing anyone needed is a business that is based on people pulling in and pulling out constantly.  This is absolutely an accident (actually, many accidents) waiting to happen. 

What is more frustrating than walking around Kohl’s with a 30% coupon in your pocket and not finding ANYTHING to buy?

I must toss and turn more in bed than I thought.  This morning, by the time I got out of bed (after a few trips to the bathroom), I had already logged three-quarters of a mile on my Garmin Vivofit fitness tracker. 

I recently subscribed to “Book Bub,” a service that sends me daily emails with recommendations of books I might like to read, based on categories that I select. The books are available digitally and they are inexpensive, so I can stock up and always have a “stack” of books on my Kindle.  The problem is that the email announcing the books comes EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Who can read that much?  I might have MORE time to read if I had fewer of these messages to review every day.  Books that look interesting are ones I may choose to download, but will I ever get around to reading them?  I’m beginning to feel like Lucy in the candy factory episode when the supervisor tells production to “speed it up!”

What a pleasure it is to have a working computer again!  My previous laptop was on Death Row for a long time.  It would be randomly unable to connect to the Internet or disconnect itself from the Internet, refuse to give me the sign-on screen (which I would get rid of in a heartbeat if I could figure out how) and periodically freeze when I was in the middle of working on a Word doc.  The new one turns on and gets right to work.  I don’t ask for much in life, so if this is what makes me happy, so be it.  I give myself props for doing the entire set-up and transferring over all my files all by myself.  I’m not ready to be the Help Desk for anyone, but at least I didn’t have to pay the Geek Squad for doing something I could do on my own.

For the first time in 46 years, I had to go to a drugstore and pay retail for BAND-AID Brand Adhesive Bandages.  My leftover stash from my 34 years at Johnson & Johnson finally diminished and the few remaining were so old that they still had strings!  Believe me, it was traumatic.  My colleagues with whom I shared this incident all suggested I go to the company store or order online, but neither the drive nor the shipping cost was worth it for a single box.  Let’s see how many years it takes me to get through this new batch.

It’s not fair that we must carefully care for our gardens, feeding and watering the flowers and the vegetables – even talking to them – and yet weeds can spring up anywhere, like through cracks in the sidewalk or driveway or even among the bushes, and they remain strong and hearty without getting any water aside from what Mother Nature supplies
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I’m sending a big thank you to the person who invented the stain stick.  I always seem to drop meal remnants on my tops – even though I generally use a dishtowel to protect my clothes.  A few swipes of the stain stick and the stain is gone.  Shout out (get it?) to the inventor!

Why do I always pick the wrong checkout line?  You know, the one with the person with 25 items in the 20-or-under line.  Or the one with the person who buys 40 things and has 35 coupons.  The one with the person who has to enter in his phone number because his card isn’t among the 50 things dangling from his keychain.  Or the one where the register tape needs to be changed, or it is time for the cashier to go on break.  ALWAYS.

And speaking of checkout lines, are there really that many people who buy beef jerky?  There are all different types of beef jerky, and the product is often on display while you are waiting to check out so they can entice you into buying it.  Am I the only person who has never eaten beef jerky and who cannot imagine even trying it?

Having an expiration date on a product – food or drug – would be even more helpful if you could actually find and read them.  I have spent 10 minutes examining a jar of spaghetti sauce just to see if I could locate the expiration date.  My jar of cocktail sauce features the expiration information in YELLOW type on the WHITE lid!  On some products, the package is coded.  If I am making dinner and want to use a can of whatever, how am I supposed to crack a code that is unintelligible?  I would like to see packages that I don’t have to hold up to a light so I can read the date.  And everything this side of paper napkins should be clearly coded.  OK, rant over!

I was disturbed recently to see an unconscionable increase in the price of my beloved Bumble Bee Tuna (premium albacore in the 2.5 oz packet) from $1.69 to $1.99 each.  Not that I am giving up tuna and not that I would EVER eat anything other than Bumble Bee.  Just don’t tell the company, because I’ll be eating their tuna when it costs $5 a package.  I didn’t grow up with the nickname “Tina Tuna” for nothing, you know.

The other day I actually cooked, after having taken some time off and relying on leftovers or eating out, etc.  I don’t mind cooking, but when I am done, the kitchen looks like the victim of a home invasion.  I practically have to repaint the room.  And as for the suggestion that I clean up as I go, I had two pans going at the same time, so cleaning wasn’t on the schedule with all that cooking going on!  Luckily, the house was thoroughly cleaned the next day, so it looks better than it did BEFORE the cooking began. 

Let’s face it – pretty much ANYTHING tastes good when fried.  I think I could put bread crumbs on a shoe, throw it into a pan of hot oil and it would be yummy.  (Recipe not included.)

I’ve reached the age when half of my freezer is filled with ice packs.  Ice packs for lunch bags, yes, but mostly ice packs for various body parts: One in a wrap that I can use when my knees ache, a small one with an elastic wrap I can use on my hands, and the latest addition, one that fits neatly over my eye to soothe it if it gets irritated from the monthly eye injections I get to combat macular degeneration.  Ice, ice, baby!

On a similar topic, I have a bag of various boots and braces I have worn for aching Achilles tendon issues and plantar fasciitis.  I also am the owner of several types of wrist braces for carpal tunnel.  I feel like I own a medical supply company!  This getting old is not for the weak.

I’m pretty sure the sound of my sneezes is different than it used to be. They sound more like my father’s sneezes, which were a very loud “CHA.”  I also seem in general to be making more sounds that are reminiscent of my parents, such as when I get up off the couch, bend over or lift something.  Let’s face it, this is the soundtrack of old age.

I recently had to load staples into my stapler.  The box, which I have had for years, contains 5000 staples.  That is a lot of staples, enough that I guess I will end up leaving them to someone in my will.

One of my many idiosyncrasies is the direction of my money.  All bills must be facing the same way and must always be in ascending order.  You don’t even get them from the bank this way anymore.
 
Kudos for whoever designed the nooks and crannies in an English muffin.  A little blueberry preserves or melted butter hiding in those places makes the muffin experience so yummy!

I just stupidly subscribed to New Jersey magazine, which means I will no longer have anything to read at the doctor’s office beyond Diabetes Digest.  And an offer to re-subscribe to Vanity Fair was too good to pass up (plus they threw in a Vanity Fair canvas tote bag, just in case I don’t have enough tote bags already).  I stopped getting the magazine, which I really enjoy, because I found myself not getting around to reading the articles (the fashion part is lost on me).  And here we go again.  I guess I will just bring it with me when I go to the doctor!

The things you have to do take up the time in which you have to do them.  Example – if you only have half a day to do all your errands, you will squeeze them in.  If you have a full day, you may not accomplish more than you did with half the time, but you just do the same things more slowly (and maybe stop for some refreshments).  True or false?