The cinnamon in my spice cabinet looks so much like the paprika that it is only a matter of time before some of the former ends up on a steak.
The other day I walked by a bakery and did not go in to buy anything. Now I think I deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor. And a cookie.
I don’t care what the calendar says; to me, it’s winter. The flannel sheets are on the bed, the mattress pad is turned on, the towel warmer awaits. It is dark by 5 and there has already been snow in the forecast. I’m not ready, mind you, but I am resigned to it. But wasn’t it just yesterday I was complaining about the heat? Now I can start complaining about the cold! I turned on the heat a month ago and banned the consumption of ice cream in my house. Bring on the soup!
When did homemade soup become such a craze? At the first sign of cold weather, Facebook is flooded with pictures of steaming homemade soup. Even I make a few homemade soups, but years ago heating a can of Campbell’s Chunky was acceptable. That said, I had better pull out the Dutch oven and start making soup!
Speaking of which, recently I was confused when I bought prepared soup at ShopRite that came in a plastic container and was labeled as “homemade.” Unless Judy from Accounting made it at home, how could this be anything but store-bought?
If you have a wrinkled garment, you are supposed to hang it in the bathroom while you take a shower and the wrinkles will go away. Why doesn’t that work on my body?
I have noticed that the mailboxes in my area now have such a tiny slot for the mail that we will all be stuffing our Holiday cards in there one at a time. I assume that this shrinking of the slot is a security measure, but the line at the drive-through mailbox will be longer than the line at Dunkin Donuts for Christmas Card mailings this year.
Making new friends means I have a new audience for my old stories that the old friends are no doubt sick of hearing by now.
Why do we sneeze? And why do we sneeze in patterns (I go for two sneezes, for example). Anyone? Anyone?
I have watched enough episodes of “20/20,” 48 Hours” and “Dateline” to know that we are always being followed and tracked, from pings from our cell phones, EZ Pass tolls, cameras mounted on traffic lights, your neighbors' and stores' security cameras, timestamped receipts and more. Just assume that unless you are abducted, your every step is traceable, all your messages will exist indefinitely and there will be a record of any crime you commit.
I think I used most of the hour I saved going from Daylight Savings Time to Eastern Standard Time to change my clocks. No two clocks in this house ever seem to be at the same time.
Please don’t tell anyone, but I am using hand cream on my feet. For now. Let’s keep this information our little secret.
Does everything have to come in pumpkin flavor or scent this time of year?
Whomever the grammar powers that be are, they recently decided that hyphenating a compound adjective was no longer necessary. Does that mean it is now incorrect to continue to follow the original rules? Despite what anyone says, I will continue to hyphenate, since this old dog is not ready, willing or able to learn a new trick.
When you get to a more mature age, like me, you begin to care less about what people think of you because they really don’t spend much time thinking of you at all.
At the top of my email this morning was an ad for Bail Bonds and how I could find my local bondsman. Maybe someone thought my birthday was way more raucous than it actually was. One of my friends said she would bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it. Yes, I have talented – and sketchy – friends.
The good news: When I recently ran out of strawberry jam, I remembered that I had an unopened jar of it in my pantry. Bad news: The unopened jar expired 6 months ago. And no, Jo, I am not eating it!
In all of the decades that I have watched baseball – and we are going back to 1959 here – I have never understood the reason for all that spitting. Who has that much saliva? How does it accumulate? Or is it sunflower seeds? All I know is that whenever I played a sport, I was always dry and couldn’t summon spit even if I wanted to – and I don’t.
Damn you, Hallmark! Not EVERYONE wants to start watching your endless Christmas movies in October. In my case, never! And Christmas music is already playing on multiple radio stations. I miss my Golden Girls.
I don’t think I have ever used any brand of Ketchup but Heinz. And my mayonnaise must be Hellman’s. And my tuna? It’s Bumble Bee or nothing for me (with NO mayonnaise!). You have to admire my brand loyalty (or stubborn streak).
When you have been friends with someone for 50+ years, your conversations not only include family and friends, but may drift over into such mundane topics as what you use to clean your toilet. So, I’ll share that I tried using a pumice stone to eliminate the ring around the bowl and had a successful outcome.
Why do I get creeped out by a shopping list found in the bottom of the cart? I’ll always try to get a different cart to avoid that situation, because I don’t want to touch the list to remove it.
For my AADC Book Club this month, we are reading “Educated” (seems appropriate for a college alumnae association). I read this book months ago, and now I am frantically re-reading it so I can recall the details and participate in the discussion. I may have to pull an all-nighter to get this done before tomorrow’s meeting! PS – It is a great book and worth reading, though I'm not sure it is worth reading twice!
Friday, November 15, 2019
Friday, November 1, 2019
Tina's October 2019 Movies
The October movies are a very random collection of new and old, documentaries and comedies, all rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top score. Numbering picks up from previous months and movies I had not seen previously are marked with an asterisk.
125. Working Girl (1988) – Big hair and massive shoulder pads place this women’s empowerment rom-com squarely in the 1980s, or otherwise it would be hard to believe that 31 years have passed since it came out. Melanie Griffiths is Tess, a hard-working young woman trying to make her way up the ladder in an investment company. Her unreliable Staten Island boyfriend Mick (a young and very handsome Alec Baldwin) may or may not propose, and he doesn’t care about her career path. Her best friend Cynthia (played with even bigger hair by Joan Cusak), is always there to help her out. When her brand-new but well-connected boss Katherine (Sigorney Weaver) comes aboard with promises they are a “team,” and she can mentor Tess (who is just slightly older than the boss), she believes her but quickly feels betrayed when Katherine steals her idea for a big business deal. While Katherine recovers from a skiing accident, Tess reaches out to a company and makes her pitch to Jack Trainer (Harrison Ford) and moves to close all deals. This movie makes the strong pitch for women to earn the opportunity to move up on their own merits and exposes the “Me, too” abuse of women and the “old boy” network that blocks their progress. The theme, the performances and the soaring Carly Simon theme song, “Let the Rivers Run,” make this an anthem for the 80s for women that still applies today. Cusack, an underrated comic actor, gets the best lines (“Sometimes I dance around the house in my underwear. Don’t make me Madonna. Never will.”) 4 cans.
126. Produced by George Martin* (2011) – If you recognize the name George Martin – or, actually, SIR George Martin – it is likely as the producer of songs by the Beatles. Martin brought creativity, imagination and a great love and respect for music to his work as the Beatles’ main producer. He arranged, scored and produced their greatest hits, marrying their music with orchestras, strings and other sounds that elevated it far beyond the pop music of the 1960s. Classically trained and with experience as a producer of comedy albums, Martin seemed like an unlikely choice for the lads from Liverpool, but their relationship for the most part was a very successful one. Martin went on to produce music for many artists, among them Stevie Wonder, Sting, Jeff Beck and others. This amiable stroll through the acclaimed producer’s career and life with his beloved wife was like visiting old friends. You can catch it on Amazon Prime Video. 3½ cans.
127. Where’s MY Roy Cohn*? (2019) – Unscrupulous, cunning, unethical – and brilliant. This movie is an absorbing look at the late lawyer Roy Cohn, relentless pursuer of Communists, a prosecutor in the Rosenberg case, and boy wonder counsel to the Senator Joseph McCarthy, Chair of the House Committee on Un-American Activities in the 50s. Cohn was blessed with an unworldly memory and a penchant for mowing down anything in his way. His power grew as he represented the rich and famous, New York mobsters, politicians and a young real estate magnet named Donald Trump. Cohn lived by his personal credo: Never apologize and never admit anything. Instead, attack, attack, attack to divert focus from the real issues and try to pummel the opposition at all times. There is plenty of historical footage here to show Cohn as an immoral man with a huge rolodex of powerful allies, but when he was eventually disbarred, he lost not only his credentials to practice law but also his collection of headline-making friends who abandoned him. He was ruthless and amoral and destructive. Just the kind of guy who set the stage for those rich and powerful people who followed him. 4 cans, if you can overlook the slime of this man.
128. The Laundromat* (2019) – I rarely miss a Meryl Streep movie, but this is an odd one. Meryl is Ellen, a woman whose husband dies when a ferry sinks. She figures she can count on the insurance policy carried by the ferry company, but the insurance company has changed hands and is nearly impossible to track down despite the dowdy widow’s best efforts. Meanwhile, on hand with a continuing explanation of how companies protect themselves by forming shell companies off-shore are Antonio Bandaras and Gary Oldham, two slick-talking foreign operatives whose pleasure in life is bilking the public. This story is layered with complexities and to follow it is like diagramming a sentence (can anyone still do that?). I was lost and felt my eyes glazing over as if I were reading the provisions of an insurance policy – which is exactly how you are supposed to feel. It did pay off in the end, however. There is plenty of dirty washing going on at this laundromat. 3½ cans.
129. Patsy and Loretta* (2019) – Megan Hilty plays Patsy Cline and Jesse Mueller portrays her BFF Loretta Lynn in this Lifetime movie about the deep friendship between the two country music legends. Patsy was already an established performer who had not yet reached the height of her fame when she friended newcomer and wide-eyed innocent Loretta Lynn. Loretta was pushed into performing by her husband Doo, and Patsy, sensing her as yet untapped talent, took the neophyte performer under her wing. The two women became fast friends, sharing stories about the challenges of balancing their careers and their families and coping with their sometimes less-than-reliable husbands as they forged their lasting bond. Hilty plays the stronger character and handles the role and the singing with equal aplomb. Mueller holds her own as Loretta Lynn, a young woman who never rode in a car until she met the man who became her husband at age 15. I don’t want to give away the story, so I’ll just say that it was nice to see two real women with talent support and uplift each other, rather than compete. 3½ cans.
130. Love, Rosie* (2014) – Alert the media! I finally found something to watch on Amazon Prime that was not a documentary and I didn’t take an hour to find it. This charmer is all about timing. Rosie and Alex are best friends from childhood to adulthood, but complications make being in love with the right person at the right time elusive. When does friendship cross the line into romance? When does commitment mean more than just friendship? You know it will all work out in the end since the story is predictable, but when the lines are said with an Irish accent, the movie moves up in class. Lily Collins and Sam Clafin are just so adorable and meant to be together that you can almost overlook the fact that they don’t get it. 3½ cans.
131. Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) – When it comes to movies about young people, John Hughes – who wrote and produced this movie – IS some kind of wonderful. Here he features Keith (Eric Stolz) and Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) as best high school buddies. He has a crush on Amanda, the snooty, popular girl (Lea Thompson), who is practically the property of the snobby but handsome rich guy (played by Craig Shaffer), while tomboyish Watts has a major crush on Keith. Of course, he is completely unaware that she is hopelessly devoted to him. There is the usual high school foolishness, the caste system and the mean girls, plus Keith’s blue-collar father, who desperately wants Keith to exceed his own career by attending college. There are the tough guys and the nice kids and the potential for mayhem when Keith asks out the popular Amanda and then finds that he has been targeted for a beating by her ex. Despite the clichés, this is a sweet movie and Stolz and Masterson shine. 3½ cans.
132. Back to School (1986) – You have to like Rodney Dangerfield in all his twitchy best to like his movies, and this one is one of the best. He is self-made zillionaire Thornton Melon, owner of a chain of men’s big and tall shops, who decides he wants to go to college with his son Jason (Keith Gordon). He has no qualms hitting on an attractive teacher (Sally Kellerman) despite her busy schedule (“Call me some time when you have no class,” he tells her in the best line in the film.). He walks around campus handing out pens, springing for textbooks (“Shakespeare for everyone,” he proclaims in the bookstore) and leading general rowdiness. He’s not a studious student, so when he needs help with Kurt Vonnegut, he calls on the real Kurt Vonnegut. This is not great filmmaking, but every once in a while I like to have a good laugh. I DO have respect for Rodney! 3½ cans.
133. Easy Money (1983) – I’m on a Rodney Dangerfield roll. In this ribald comedy, he is Monty Capuletti, a man always looking for a big score – along with pizza and beer. When his wealthy mother-in-law dies in a plane crash, she leaves him the bulk of her estate with one little, tiny catch: He must reform himself, stop drinking, smoking and gambling and get into shape – all of which hardly seems worth the potential windfall to him. But thinking of his wife and kids, he gives it a shot. Hanging around with his low-brow friends – especially Nicky the plumber (Joe Pesci) – means there is temptation around every corner. This movie is not as funny as “Back to School,” but the scenes where all the guests at his daughter’s wedding are crammed into his small Staten Island backyard, and when he and Nicky have to pick up the wedding cake and keep it from falling over by wedging it against a toilet in the back of Nicky’s plumbing truck are hilarious. A little low-brow humor goes a long way. 3 cans.
134. Cliff Diving* (2019) – How would you handle a life-changing setback? In the case of accomplished diver Cliff DeVries, the challenge was more than merely surviving a tumor on this spine that gave him a life-expectancy of months, not years, when he was a 21- year old college diver. He was losing function of his arm and shoulder. Surgery on his spine removed the tumor but left him severely impaired on one side and virtually unable to walk, no less dive. He was supposed to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. But Cliff worked hard with therapists to learn how to walk and turned his passion for the sport in a different direction, becoming the diving coach at Rochester Institute of Technology. Even though he cannot demonstrate technique to his young charges – including several All-Americans – he can teach them and inspire them to improve their skills. And each year on his birthday, Cliff drags himself slowly, with divers surrounding him, climbs up to the diving board and dives into the pool. This remarkable man and his inspirational story are part of the “E:60” series streaming on ESPN. In a movie with the perfect title, “Cliff Diving” challenges all of us to overcome the worst to be the best. 4 cans and a major assist from my dear friend Colleen, who saw this documentary and recommended it.
135. Studio 54* (2018) – In the 70s, the rich, the famous and the outrageous had their own glitzy playground with the rise of Studio 54 in New York. Entrepreneurs and long-time college friends Steve Rubell and Ian Shrager opened the disco on the city’s unfashionable West Side and attracted a crowd that only New York could create. The disco became the place to go for Mick and Bianca, Halston and Capote, Liza and Cher, as well as outrageously-garbed (or barely dressed) non-celebs who shelled out money (the rich and famous were comped) to dance to the pulsating beat and perhaps indulge in their favorite drugs…and more. The fall of the legendary club came as swiftly as the rise, as the pair were investigated for tax evasion, distribution of drugs and operating without a liquor license and eventually they served time in jail. This documentary (available on Netflix) shows it all – the glamour, the arrogance, the hubris of Rubell (who just wanted to have fun and be a star himself) and Shrager, the more introverted of the pair. This documentary is a flashback to an era when so many of the key players in the story died of AIDS. 3½ cans.
125. Working Girl (1988) – Big hair and massive shoulder pads place this women’s empowerment rom-com squarely in the 1980s, or otherwise it would be hard to believe that 31 years have passed since it came out. Melanie Griffiths is Tess, a hard-working young woman trying to make her way up the ladder in an investment company. Her unreliable Staten Island boyfriend Mick (a young and very handsome Alec Baldwin) may or may not propose, and he doesn’t care about her career path. Her best friend Cynthia (played with even bigger hair by Joan Cusak), is always there to help her out. When her brand-new but well-connected boss Katherine (Sigorney Weaver) comes aboard with promises they are a “team,” and she can mentor Tess (who is just slightly older than the boss), she believes her but quickly feels betrayed when Katherine steals her idea for a big business deal. While Katherine recovers from a skiing accident, Tess reaches out to a company and makes her pitch to Jack Trainer (Harrison Ford) and moves to close all deals. This movie makes the strong pitch for women to earn the opportunity to move up on their own merits and exposes the “Me, too” abuse of women and the “old boy” network that blocks their progress. The theme, the performances and the soaring Carly Simon theme song, “Let the Rivers Run,” make this an anthem for the 80s for women that still applies today. Cusack, an underrated comic actor, gets the best lines (“Sometimes I dance around the house in my underwear. Don’t make me Madonna. Never will.”) 4 cans.
126. Produced by George Martin* (2011) – If you recognize the name George Martin – or, actually, SIR George Martin – it is likely as the producer of songs by the Beatles. Martin brought creativity, imagination and a great love and respect for music to his work as the Beatles’ main producer. He arranged, scored and produced their greatest hits, marrying their music with orchestras, strings and other sounds that elevated it far beyond the pop music of the 1960s. Classically trained and with experience as a producer of comedy albums, Martin seemed like an unlikely choice for the lads from Liverpool, but their relationship for the most part was a very successful one. Martin went on to produce music for many artists, among them Stevie Wonder, Sting, Jeff Beck and others. This amiable stroll through the acclaimed producer’s career and life with his beloved wife was like visiting old friends. You can catch it on Amazon Prime Video. 3½ cans.
127. Where’s MY Roy Cohn*? (2019) – Unscrupulous, cunning, unethical – and brilliant. This movie is an absorbing look at the late lawyer Roy Cohn, relentless pursuer of Communists, a prosecutor in the Rosenberg case, and boy wonder counsel to the Senator Joseph McCarthy, Chair of the House Committee on Un-American Activities in the 50s. Cohn was blessed with an unworldly memory and a penchant for mowing down anything in his way. His power grew as he represented the rich and famous, New York mobsters, politicians and a young real estate magnet named Donald Trump. Cohn lived by his personal credo: Never apologize and never admit anything. Instead, attack, attack, attack to divert focus from the real issues and try to pummel the opposition at all times. There is plenty of historical footage here to show Cohn as an immoral man with a huge rolodex of powerful allies, but when he was eventually disbarred, he lost not only his credentials to practice law but also his collection of headline-making friends who abandoned him. He was ruthless and amoral and destructive. Just the kind of guy who set the stage for those rich and powerful people who followed him. 4 cans, if you can overlook the slime of this man.
128. The Laundromat* (2019) – I rarely miss a Meryl Streep movie, but this is an odd one. Meryl is Ellen, a woman whose husband dies when a ferry sinks. She figures she can count on the insurance policy carried by the ferry company, but the insurance company has changed hands and is nearly impossible to track down despite the dowdy widow’s best efforts. Meanwhile, on hand with a continuing explanation of how companies protect themselves by forming shell companies off-shore are Antonio Bandaras and Gary Oldham, two slick-talking foreign operatives whose pleasure in life is bilking the public. This story is layered with complexities and to follow it is like diagramming a sentence (can anyone still do that?). I was lost and felt my eyes glazing over as if I were reading the provisions of an insurance policy – which is exactly how you are supposed to feel. It did pay off in the end, however. There is plenty of dirty washing going on at this laundromat. 3½ cans.
129. Patsy and Loretta* (2019) – Megan Hilty plays Patsy Cline and Jesse Mueller portrays her BFF Loretta Lynn in this Lifetime movie about the deep friendship between the two country music legends. Patsy was already an established performer who had not yet reached the height of her fame when she friended newcomer and wide-eyed innocent Loretta Lynn. Loretta was pushed into performing by her husband Doo, and Patsy, sensing her as yet untapped talent, took the neophyte performer under her wing. The two women became fast friends, sharing stories about the challenges of balancing their careers and their families and coping with their sometimes less-than-reliable husbands as they forged their lasting bond. Hilty plays the stronger character and handles the role and the singing with equal aplomb. Mueller holds her own as Loretta Lynn, a young woman who never rode in a car until she met the man who became her husband at age 15. I don’t want to give away the story, so I’ll just say that it was nice to see two real women with talent support and uplift each other, rather than compete. 3½ cans.
130. Love, Rosie* (2014) – Alert the media! I finally found something to watch on Amazon Prime that was not a documentary and I didn’t take an hour to find it. This charmer is all about timing. Rosie and Alex are best friends from childhood to adulthood, but complications make being in love with the right person at the right time elusive. When does friendship cross the line into romance? When does commitment mean more than just friendship? You know it will all work out in the end since the story is predictable, but when the lines are said with an Irish accent, the movie moves up in class. Lily Collins and Sam Clafin are just so adorable and meant to be together that you can almost overlook the fact that they don’t get it. 3½ cans.
131. Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) – When it comes to movies about young people, John Hughes – who wrote and produced this movie – IS some kind of wonderful. Here he features Keith (Eric Stolz) and Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) as best high school buddies. He has a crush on Amanda, the snooty, popular girl (Lea Thompson), who is practically the property of the snobby but handsome rich guy (played by Craig Shaffer), while tomboyish Watts has a major crush on Keith. Of course, he is completely unaware that she is hopelessly devoted to him. There is the usual high school foolishness, the caste system and the mean girls, plus Keith’s blue-collar father, who desperately wants Keith to exceed his own career by attending college. There are the tough guys and the nice kids and the potential for mayhem when Keith asks out the popular Amanda and then finds that he has been targeted for a beating by her ex. Despite the clichés, this is a sweet movie and Stolz and Masterson shine. 3½ cans.
132. Back to School (1986) – You have to like Rodney Dangerfield in all his twitchy best to like his movies, and this one is one of the best. He is self-made zillionaire Thornton Melon, owner of a chain of men’s big and tall shops, who decides he wants to go to college with his son Jason (Keith Gordon). He has no qualms hitting on an attractive teacher (Sally Kellerman) despite her busy schedule (“Call me some time when you have no class,” he tells her in the best line in the film.). He walks around campus handing out pens, springing for textbooks (“Shakespeare for everyone,” he proclaims in the bookstore) and leading general rowdiness. He’s not a studious student, so when he needs help with Kurt Vonnegut, he calls on the real Kurt Vonnegut. This is not great filmmaking, but every once in a while I like to have a good laugh. I DO have respect for Rodney! 3½ cans.
133. Easy Money (1983) – I’m on a Rodney Dangerfield roll. In this ribald comedy, he is Monty Capuletti, a man always looking for a big score – along with pizza and beer. When his wealthy mother-in-law dies in a plane crash, she leaves him the bulk of her estate with one little, tiny catch: He must reform himself, stop drinking, smoking and gambling and get into shape – all of which hardly seems worth the potential windfall to him. But thinking of his wife and kids, he gives it a shot. Hanging around with his low-brow friends – especially Nicky the plumber (Joe Pesci) – means there is temptation around every corner. This movie is not as funny as “Back to School,” but the scenes where all the guests at his daughter’s wedding are crammed into his small Staten Island backyard, and when he and Nicky have to pick up the wedding cake and keep it from falling over by wedging it against a toilet in the back of Nicky’s plumbing truck are hilarious. A little low-brow humor goes a long way. 3 cans.
134. Cliff Diving* (2019) – How would you handle a life-changing setback? In the case of accomplished diver Cliff DeVries, the challenge was more than merely surviving a tumor on this spine that gave him a life-expectancy of months, not years, when he was a 21- year old college diver. He was losing function of his arm and shoulder. Surgery on his spine removed the tumor but left him severely impaired on one side and virtually unable to walk, no less dive. He was supposed to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. But Cliff worked hard with therapists to learn how to walk and turned his passion for the sport in a different direction, becoming the diving coach at Rochester Institute of Technology. Even though he cannot demonstrate technique to his young charges – including several All-Americans – he can teach them and inspire them to improve their skills. And each year on his birthday, Cliff drags himself slowly, with divers surrounding him, climbs up to the diving board and dives into the pool. This remarkable man and his inspirational story are part of the “E:60” series streaming on ESPN. In a movie with the perfect title, “Cliff Diving” challenges all of us to overcome the worst to be the best. 4 cans and a major assist from my dear friend Colleen, who saw this documentary and recommended it.
135. Studio 54* (2018) – In the 70s, the rich, the famous and the outrageous had their own glitzy playground with the rise of Studio 54 in New York. Entrepreneurs and long-time college friends Steve Rubell and Ian Shrager opened the disco on the city’s unfashionable West Side and attracted a crowd that only New York could create. The disco became the place to go for Mick and Bianca, Halston and Capote, Liza and Cher, as well as outrageously-garbed (or barely dressed) non-celebs who shelled out money (the rich and famous were comped) to dance to the pulsating beat and perhaps indulge in their favorite drugs…and more. The fall of the legendary club came as swiftly as the rise, as the pair were investigated for tax evasion, distribution of drugs and operating without a liquor license and eventually they served time in jail. This documentary (available on Netflix) shows it all – the glamour, the arrogance, the hubris of Rubell (who just wanted to have fun and be a star himself) and Shrager, the more introverted of the pair. This documentary is a flashback to an era when so many of the key players in the story died of AIDS. 3½ cans.
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