Let’s start this month’s collection with the realization that since I started doing this blog in 2007, soon after my retirement from Johnson & Johnson, I have published 339 entries. That includes random thoughts, essays and movie reviews. Even I have to admit that is quite a collection of nonsense. This would be a good time to let me know if you want to drop off the list because you don’t have time for one more email or you find you aren’t reading them anyway. I will clean up my list and remove your name if that’s your choice – no offense taken!
After 50 years of sharing almost everything, my best friend and I recently had a conversation about our favorite socks. Have we officially run out of things to talk about? I get it: She was peeved because one of the socks in her favorite pair escaped, mysteriously reappeared, and then disappeared again. I started washing my socks in a mesh bag to stop my socks from getting away and that works. We also discussed our mutual dislike of socks that slip down into our shoes. Everyone hates that, right? But this is what happens after 53 years of friendship – Sock Talk!
Do you ever get mad that you weren’t invited to something you didn’t want to attend in the first place?
“On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife.” That’s from the opening of the TV show “The Odd Couple,” and what a perfect way to start the show.
I was thinking about other shows that featured similarly clever – and informative – openings. “She had style, she had flair, she was THERE, that’s how she became ‘The Nanny’’’ is another opening that tells you the premise of the show. As much as I detest “Gilligan’s Island,” the annoying song that starts the show tells you all that you need to know, though it can never explain how the Harlem Globetrotters found their way onto and off of that island! “Love is All-Around” is the theme of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” and if that song doesn’t bring a smile to your face, I’m not sure we can be friends. And then there’s, “Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out...” to kick-off “Welcome Back Kotter.” Kevin Arnold was able to get by with a little help from his friends on “The Wonder Years,” and I’m still partial to the theme song from “American Hero” (“Believe it or not, I’m walking on air; I never thought I could feel so free”), even though it didn’t really describe the show itself.
No one who ever watched “The Andy Griffith Show” can pass up the chance to whistle the opening tune, and how many of us have sung along to “The Love Boat,” that haven for B-list TV stars cruising together? The premise for “The Beverly Hillbillies” is pretty well established in the opening lines, which go on to tell you about how once he struck oil, old Jed was encouraged by his kinfolk to move to Beverly – Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars.
Speaking of songs, today in the nail salon I enjoyed listening to Christmas music. One of the songs sounded so familiar yet different. I realized it was a slower, more melodic version of that annoying song by Alvin & the Chipmunks, “The Chipmunk Song.” Played in a different way, it isn’t half bad. And it didn’t stick in my head the rest of the day!
Let the record show that I admit that I will never understand photosynthesis. Please, don’t even try to explain it to me. I just appreciate the beauty of the trees every fall. I don’t need to know why they change color.
I don’t know the magic behind those color catchers that you throw into your load of laundry that soak up the vibrant colors and prevent your underwear from turning pink – except that they work.
One night I decided to delete old text messages from my sister, and, by the time I was done, at least 2000 of them were trashed. The number of times we have exchanged existing plans for our days was miniscule compared to how many times we told each other what we were making for dinner, how we felt that day and that we were about to “hop” into the shower. We are well-matched for the mundane activities of our lives!
It was a good day for me in the supermarket. First, a woman asked me to reach a can of German potato salad from the shelf and I was able to grab it for her. (Who knew German potato salad came in a can? And who would pick ME to reach it? That was a desperate – and SHORT – woman!) And second, I was able to open three produce bags without any hesitation (or licking my fingers). That’s a big day for me! And who knew that there was something called a “Personal watermelon? I found it in ShopRite, near a bunch of round, green fruit labeled “Melogold Grapefruit.” When I posted this information on Facebook, I was told that the latter are like pomelos, which sounds to me like a cross between pomegranates and melons. But that’s not the case. I wonder what else I have been missing.
I waited so long in the exam room for the doctor last week that I really thought she forgot about me and went out to lunch. But no, the doctor came in and examined me eventually. Can’t get out of that one.
Don’t you hate it when you are in someone’s house and they tell you not to look around because the place is a mess and you know it looks better than your place even after it has been cleaned? Or you tell them they look nice in their outfit and they declare it as some old rag they would never have worn had they known someone was coming.
Remember when you would go on a cruise or stay in a hotel and two little candies would magically arrive on your pillow at night? Now there aren’t even bedspreads, and you sure don’t want someone walking into your room. And I’m not sure I want to spend my vacation with a couple of thousand people on a cruise ship right now. But I sure do miss those candies, however.
I haven’t quite adjusted to the fact that the Lord & Taylor store at Bridgewater Commons closed permanently during the pandemic. I don’t know where to go for a dressy dress when I eventually need one. But adding insult to injury, the store will be used as a megasite for vaccine distribution. That kind of breaks my heart just a little.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas – and has been since before Halloween, when Christmas trees went on display at Costco. The other way you can tell is by the arrival of the “Holiday Edition” catalogs, first the “Early Holiday” or “Holiday Preview” versions and then the full-fledged holiday catalogs. This means that if you have ever bought anything from Omaha Steaks, you will get their catalog, along with Harry & David’s fruits and treats, Wolferman’s for their muffins and baked goods and a myriad of catalogs from places where I have never shopped, like The Sharper Image or Hammacher’s. My recycling bundle this month is twice its normal size!
Hanukah was so early this year that it was over by December 5. For the first time ever, I decided to light up my electric menorah anyway. After all, many people keep their Christmas decorations and lights up until after New Year’s Day, so why not light that menorah even though Hanukah is officially over?
One of the highlights of my month was going to the State Theater in New Brunswick – my first of any kind of show since the pandemic began – to see Cirque Holidaze, featuring Ben Broughton, son of my dear friend Colleen. Although we had never met before, I’m always up-to-date on his performing career and proud as any "aunt" could be. I’ve seen Colleen, who lives in Redmond, Washington, twice in the last 15 years, yet we correspond frequently and keep those bonds of friendship strong. It was great to meet Ben in person after his sensational performance in a jump-rope troupe in this magical show. I hugged him a few times and requested that he share one of them with Colleen. I think I smiled all night – except for lamenting the fact that they was no Playbill to send to Colleen or to add to my collection that goes back to shows from the 60s!
And just like that…STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS ABOUT THE NEW VERSION OF SEX & THE CITY. Just like that, our 50ish heroine arrives at the sumptuous apartment she shares with her husband, Big, and finds him in the midst of what appears to be a heart attack. And just like that, she calls 911, right? What? No? Has this woman never seen an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy?” questions my dear friend Marie, who has seen every one of the 20 years worth. No, she kisses him, ruining her expensive and treasured Manolo Blahnik shoes from her wedding as she hugs him in the shower instead of trying CPR. I know we are supposed to see Carrie dating again in her 50s, so having Big as her husband would no longer work, but couldn’t they have found any other way to knock him off besides keeling over after pedaling his Peloton and not getting the first aid he needed?
My next entry in this series will be my Movies & More reviews for December and the year. So, until then, enjoy the holidays and don’t go crazy prepping for them. Let’s hope for better times when we are safely with friends, family and all our loved ones this holiday season and in the new year! Thanks for reading.
