Random Thoughts for Mid-December

You know you’re getting old when you find yourself using the phrase, “back in the day.”

Please tell me you do this, too: I walk into a room but I don’t remember why I entered the room. Sometimes I open a drawer and forget what I was supposed to be looking for. The cure for this malady is simple: Just go back to where you were when you thought of the idea originally and sit down. As you sit, the idea pops up from your ass to your brain.  I swear it works every time.

Much to my chagrin, I will have to start using a single space between sentences on this blog. If I double-space the sentences that wrap to the next line appear to be indented and the lack of alignment drives me crazy. So you will notice just the single-space, which we all concede is WRONG, but we also know I am thinking double-space, which we all know is RIGHT.

I could write an entire blog entry just on the SPAM e-mail I get. No, Dr. Oz, I am not interested in your belly fat blaster, so please stop contacting me about it (today alone I had 7 messages on this subject in my SPAM folder, half of the total for the day). You’re making me very self-conscious about my appearance. And whoever you are, Adriana from Facebook, I have no interest in meeting you. I am certain that I won’t be buying Viagra any time soon, and I have no plans to start smoking e-cigarettes. I don’t need a scholarship and a college degree since I already have the latter so I don’t need the former. If Yahoo really needed to reach me regarding my e-mail account, I would expect a note that was professionally written and did not contain typos and spacing problems, so I’m pretty sure the ones I have received that are allegedly from Yahoo are not actually from Yahoo. Finally, no one I know would fall for any scam requiring us to send money to Nigeria for any reason. Enough with the SPAM!

There are so many creams and lotions and tubes of ointment in this house that I am afraid one day I’ll be in a stupor and accidentally brush my teeth with hydrocortisone cream (which is also in a spray can, so I could accidentally use it as hairspray).

I always thought that coming up with names for shades of lipstick (mine is canyon ranch) or nail polish or even paint required quite an imagination. But at least these names are descriptions of something we can imagine. My question is who comes up with the polysyllabic names of drugs? What on earth is hydrochlorothiazide/quinapril hydrochloride? Taking alclometasone dipropionate? Have you tried estradiol/norethindrone acetate? No? I’ll pass, too. Coming up with “linen white” must be far easier for everyone.

The new “Hunger Games” movie is coming out, filled with high drama, fierce fighting and special effects (which only means I won’t be seeing it). Big deal. It is the Hunger Games every day at this house. Thank God for Weight Watchers, my personal heroes!

Really, what is better than coming into the house and smelling dinner cooking in the crock pot?  Yet we restrict the use of the crock pot to winter only, as if the small amount of heat it produces in the kitchen will counteract the air conditioning in the summer.  Or will it?

Each year around this time the weather starts to get colder (so we can start using the crock pot).  Yet we seem surprised by this, remarking on it in conversations with friends and strangers and reacting as if we have never experienced cold before.  And I plead guilty on all counts.

The best part of the cold weather is that I use a heated mattress pad on my bed. I turn it on to warm up the bed and by the time I get into it, it is delightfully warm. It really is the little things.

Speaking of cold weather, I am not to be deterred from making my appointed rounds — or, in my case, walks around Hillsborough. I bundle up like Heidi crossing the Alps. The other day I wore Cuddl Duds long johns under my heaviest sweatpants, a sweatshirt, a hoodie, a jacket and a wool cap. With my earphones in and my earmuffs over the wool cap, I was so warm and soundproofed that I could barely hear the sound of the neighborhood leaf blowers. A runaway bear would have to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. Please don’t.

I have to admit that for someone who has never spent time hunting, fishing or camping, I seem to have an inordinate amount of thermal and insulated underwear. In my mind, going out for a winter walk is akin to being Jeremiah Johnson or living in a cabin in the remote woods, I guess, because I have at least three sets of Cuddl Duds or thermals. If I layer them all together I look like the Michelin Tire guy. I’m best described as “toasty warm.” Wait — that could be a nail polish color!

When I am out for a walk and I hear the BeeGees’ “Staying Alive,” I always want to strut down the street like Tony Manero (John Travolta) in “Saturday Night Fever.” I try hard to resist the urge.

Whenever I see a storefront with a “Psychic” sign, I wonder if they know who will be dropping in. And do they know it won’t be me?

My sister and I have each had trouble locating a supply of string lately. I don’t know which is more remarkable, that there appears to be a shortage of string or that we have had a discussion about this topic. In any case, I think we should contact Dr. Sheldon Cooper for his take on string theory.

There is a restaurant on Route 206 between Hillsborough and Montgomery that has changed hands more times than I can remember. There is even a suspicious fire or two in its dossier. The most recent iteration was called Tusk, and the sign remains lit even though the restaurant has been closed for well over a year. I can’t help wondering who pays the light bill for the sign and the interior lights that remain lit. This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.

Whenever I hear any song by KC & the Sunshine Band I end up with it running through my head for the rest of the day. There has to be a scientific explanation of this Sunshine phenomenon.

Speaking of songs, I have always wondered what the Chicago song “25 or 6 to 4” is about so I decided to look it up. The composer of the song, band member Robert Lamm, explains that it is more or less about the process of writing a song, which can be painstaking, and the reference in the title is just a reference to the time of day — as in "waiting for the break of day" at 25 or (2)6 minutes to 4 a.m. (3:35 or 3:36 a.m.). So now we know. You’re welcome.

Do you go to the supermarket for a few things and come out with 20 and none of them are what you went for in the first place? Me, too.

My ShopRite sells “Executive Turkey.” Just what is Executive Turkey? Can it not be purchased and enjoyed by the masses? Is this a class thing? I mean, I know plenty of execs who were real turkeys, but I don’t think any of them man the deli counter at ShopRite. Really, who comes up with this stuff?

Today’s technology has made shopping so easy — too easy. The other day I spent $100 from my bed, before my feet hit the floor for the first time. Amazon knows me, my credit card and my tastes, so they point out stuff I might want that I can buy with one click. (Why does my sister need ideas for every occasion? Amazon knows me better than she does.) When my order is delivered, I get an alert on my phone to let me know the package has arrived. Then the hard part begins, as apparently I am supposed to get my butt off the recliner and open the door to retrieve it and then open it all by myself.

I heard the announcer on TV this morning say, “For the first time in history,” and my thoughts immediately went to “It’s raining men.”

A woman in my aqua aerobics class who was playing behind me in volleyball informed me the other day, “Honey, you have a lot of gray hair for someone your age. Really, you have a lot of gray.” OK, first of all, I’m 64 years old, so I am entitled to some gray. Second, I am letting my hair grow it so I can decide if I want to go gray. If not, I can always color it. Thirdly, who looks at the back of their own head? So how gray is it, I wondered. And finally, who says that to someone? Just an elderly woman with Sophia Petrillo tendencies and no filter!

I thought I was just having problems telling black from blue, but now I can’t tell brown from green, either. I thought women didn’t have color-blindness.

I hereby declare that no cards should be allowed to have even a modicum of glitter. Christmas, Birthday – whatever. Why did anyone think that glitter, which scatters all over as soon as you open the envelope, was a good idea?

In speaking with several of my girlfriends lately, I have noticed the glee with which we tell shopping stories. For us, shopping is a competitive sport – competitive not with each other (we relish every victory), but in the great satisfaction derived from getting a really good bargain. We stalk our prey, wait for the right moment to pounce (a sale, of course), come armed with all of the requisite coupons, rebates, rainchecks, gift cards and Kohl’s cash, and bag our prizes with relish (not the kind you put on a hotdog). And we can’t wait to brag about how much we saved. In fact, buying something NOT on sale would drum a woman right out of the shopping corps. Shopping as sport – that’s what it’s all about.

Please tell me there is a 12-step program for people who cannot stop tearing out those perfume strips from magazines and the Macy’s flyers and keeping them. Not that I know anyone who does that, but just in case it should come up in conversation.

Speaking of Macy’s, you know my issue with the Macy’s One Day Sale that takes place on two days. Now Macy’s has made Super Saturday into a three-day event, starting Friday and ending Sunday but still called Super Saturday. If I were Monday or Thursday, I’d have my nose out of joint about being left out.

Some days, when I haven’t washed my hair because I am going to wear a hat and go out for a walk or go to the pool for aqua aerobics, I pull on the sweats and walk out the door and think that if my mother were alive, she’d tell me that I looked like “shit on a shovel.” The Wisdom of Sylvia Gordon. Sounds like a great book, doesn’t it?

Tina's November 2014 Movies

As we enter into the prolific holiday movie season, I have already surpassed my annual goal of watching 150 movies with the addition of November's baker's dozen.  As always, numbering picks up from the previous month, and movies which I have not previously seen are marked with an asterisk. 

142.  The Caine Mutiny (1954) — We’ve all had bosses or co-workers we thought were off their rockers, but few of us have seen the likes of Philip Francis Queeg (Humphrey Bogart).  Captain Queeg is put in charge of the old ship the Caine, where he brings a career in the Navy and a by-the-book attitude to go with his insecurities and paranoia.  Queeg is so hung up on details, he fails to recognize that the ship is traveling in circles because he is too busy berating a sailor for not having his shirt tucked in.  Queeg is the perfect example of “The Peter Principle” — someone rising to his level of incompetence — which is dangerous when you are commanding a ship in World War II.  Officer Keefer (Fred McMurray), a glib author who thinks he is smarter than everyone else, plays amateur psychologist, diagnosing the Captain with paranoia and urging first officer Maryk (Van Johnson) to inform the chain of command, but then Keefer refuses to back him up.  The real tipping point in this engrossing drama comes during a typhoon, when Queeg demonstrates his incompetence by insisting on the wrong approach that may sink the ship — until Maryk feels compelled to relieve him of his duty and take over command.  Maryk saves the ship but goes on trial for mutiny.  Will his Navy lawyer (Jose Ferrer), who has nothing but disdain for Maryk and his men, be able to defend the underling without completely destroying the career and reputation of Queeg?  And who is the real villain here?  It’s always hard to eat strawberries and not think of this movie.  Bogart IS Queeg.  4 cans.

143.  Dave (1993) — This is my kind of Kevin Kline movie.  He plays Dave, who looks so similar to US President Bill Mitchell that he is drafted by Mitchell’s men to impersonate the president after the latter suffers a devastating stroke.  That scheme enables the Presidential advisors (Frank Langella and Kevin Dunn) to retain power, rather than — as constitutionally required — to have the vice president (Ben Kingsley) take over.  Dave is initially scared to death, but he gradually becomes more comfortable in his role as the pseudo-president, even as he has to deal with the First Lady (Sigourney Weaver) who can’t stand her husband.  My favorite scene is when Dave summons his accountant Murray (Charles Grodin) to the White House to go over the budget and save enough money to fund homeless shelters.  This film is a sharp critique of the men in power but the charm exuded by Kline as the neophyte politician surpasses everything else.  4 votes for Dave!

144.  Something’s Gotta Give (2003) — Harry (Jack Nicholson) is an aging lothario who suffers a heart attack at the home of the mother of the very young woman he is dating (Amanda Peet).  He is too weak to be moved, so he is stuck staying with the mother, the much chagrined Erica (Diane Keaton), a successful playwright who is not amused with the way this plot is evolving.  They spar and can’t stand each other, which only means that they will eventually recognize their true feelings and admit that they are in love.  But, of course, complications ensue, primarily that they are equals in age and accomplishment, and that Erica is pursued by Harry’s young doctor (Keanu Reeves).  There is a lot to like in this movie, particularly in the byplay between the leads.  Nicholson doesn’t care if his butt is hanging out of a hospital gown and his hair looks like Albert Einstein’s.  Not the best way to meet a soul mate but certainly amusing for those of us who get to observe.  3½ cans.

145.  Disclosure (1994) — When Tom Sanders (Michael Douglas) is passed over for a promotion that instead goes to his former girlfriend Meredith (Demi Moore), that’s just the start of a really bad day.  Meredith invites him to her office for a late night rendezvous, where she proceeds to sexually assault him.  Tom is married and reluctant at first, and denying himself the sexual pleasure takes all the strength he can muster but he eventually extricates himself from the proceedings.  Meredith, a gorgeous and aggressive woman in every sense, reports the encounter to her bosses the next day, claiming that Tom attacked her, and Tom is about to lose his job and his marriage before he realizes he needs to fight back.  Though a good example of “he said, she said,” the movie examines sexual assault from the unusual perspective of the male, but it is no less damaging to him than to her.  This story is set against the tableau of ruthless business people, which makes the sexual aggressiveness fit in perfectly.  3½ cans.

146.  Cocoon (1985) — A group of elderly residents at a retirement community stumbles upon the fountain of youth in a nearby pool on property that is owned by aliens.  I don’t normally go for fantasies, but this early Ron Howard movie is hard to resist, as the old folks get increasingly frisky while they frolic in the not so still waters.  Would you want to live forever if it meant leaving your loved ones and your earthly life behind?  I guess it would depend on who would be with you on the journey.  The oldies but goodies are Oscar-winner Don Ameche, Hume Cronyn, Maureen Stapleton, Gwen Verdon, Jessica Tandy and Wilford Brimley, looking as hot as Wilford Brimley can get.  Youth really is wasted on the young.  3½ cans.

147.  Whiplash* (2014) – “Who would think that a movie about a music school could be this intense and have blood, sweat and tears?” queried my sage sister upon seeing this film.  Young Andrew (Miles Teller) is a would-be Buddy Rich, a talented 19-year-old drummer with dreams of greatness.  He attends a prestigious NY music college, where he is thrust into the hands of a maniacal music instructor named Fletcher (J. K. Simmons), a man so foul of language that his insults and epithets would make former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice blush.  Fletcher looks like the devil himself – bald head, taut muscles and piercing, dangerous eyes – and dealing with him is like being in Hell.  Andrew pushes himself to practice until his hands bleed.  But Fletcher cannot be satisfied by anyone.  Does he push his students because he believes they need the motivation to excel?  Or is he merely power mad and abusive?  Teller is astonishing in his role, and Simmons – who is one of those character actors you know you have seen before but you can’t name a single movie he’s been in – is all coiled, ruthless energy, ready to pounce at any time.  Exhausting, but worth experiencing.  4 cans.

148.  The Goodbye Girl (1977) — Neil Simon puts a twist on his “Odd Couple” story by teaming mismatched roommates Paula McFadden (Marsha Mason, his wife at the time) and Elliott Garfield (Richard Dreyfus, in his Oscar-winning performance).  Paula is an aging (33) dancer who lives with her precocious 10-year old daughter Lucy (Quinn Cummings in a memorable debut) and her boyfriend, who dumps her and leaves a note and a tenant to sublet the apartment they shared without telling her.  Paula is enraged when smug actor Elliott shows up on her doorstep with lease in hand, but they work out an agreement to share the place while he appears Off-Off Broadway in the worst production of “Richard III” that has ever been staged.  Their insecurities and differences are evident, as is the fact that, eventually, they will strike up a relationship.  But can Paula depend on yet another actor?  She has trust issues with good reason.  Witty Simon dialog is delivered by perfectly cast performers (including Cummings) in this entertaining oldie.  4 cans.

149.  The Lucky One (2012) — Handsome Zac Efron is Logan, an Iraqi War veteran who feels he survived thanks to a good luck charm — the photograph of a pretty woman he found on the ground after a battle.  Once he returns to the States, he is determined to find her, and he walks from Colorado to Louisiana and does just that.  This is where the movie turns into science fiction to me.  Walking to Louisiana and finding the woman, Beth (Taylor Schilling, now the star of NetFlix’s “Orange Is the New Black”) seems completely preposterous to me.  Nevertheless, Logan shows up and starts working for Beth at her dog care place, helping repair her boat and ramshackle house, and becoming a fixture in the family with her grandmother (Blythe Danner) and her young son, Ben.  Her menacing ex lurks around, unhappy about this development, and Logan, despite numerous opportunities to tell Beth what drew him there, fails to do so.  The characters are too beautiful and perfect and you just know that the Big Dramatic Moment will have to take place.  Still, this couple is easy on the eyes and who among us doesn’t like a romantic story once in a while?  My once in a while is done for now.  3½ cans.

150.  Doc Hollywood (1991) — Ben Stone (Michael J. Fox) is a hotshot young plastic surgeon on his way to an interview with a lucrative practice in Beverly Hills when he loses control of his prized sports car and destroys a fence, his car and his plans in a small South Carolina town.  He is sentenced to community service, replacing the town’s crotchety doctor (Barnard Hughes) while the local mechanics try to piece together his roadster.  The town is full of colorful characters.  He has to read letters to one pregnant couple who can’t read, pull toys out of boys’ ears and deal with a stern nurse and a spirited ambulance driver, Lou (Julie Warner, who matches Fox in height, which is to say she is suitably short).  One of the locals gives him a pig to pay him for his medical work, while the mayor (David Ogden Stiers) tries to persuade him to stay and his daughter (Bridget Fonda) puts on an all-out flirt.  But Ben Stone only has eyes for Lou, his car and his future in Hollywoodland.  Of course you know it won’t quite work out the way he planned.  This movie gives us the youthful, earnest and somewhat smug Fox at his best, just before he started experiencing the symptoms of the Parkinson’s disease that has affected his career.  He is utterly charming, whether walking his pig, turning down the advances of the mayor’s daughter, or verbally sparring with Lou’s suitor Hank (Woody Harrelson, when he still had hair).  A light and appealing movie, and just what the doctor ordered.  4 cans.

151.  A Civil Action (1998) — In the beginning of this courtroom drama, Jan Schlichtmann (John Travolta) is a stereotypical personal injury lawyer, literally handing out his card at the scene of an accident and anxious to win his clients’ cases so his firm can get its cut.  Even when a case comes along that involves pollution so bad that it causes children in a Massachusetts town to get sick and die, Jan isn’t interested in taking the case because he can’t find anyone at fault whom he can sue for a big payday.  That’s until he gets a speeding ticket in the town and notices factories nearby which may be to blame.  He stakes his case, his reputation and the assets of his firm on being able to prove negligence by two very large corporations, one of whom his represented by Jerry Facher (Robert Duval, nominated for an Oscar as Best Supporting Actor).  As the narrator tells us, going to court takes too long and costs too much, so the aim is to settle.  But that is not about to happen here, and Jan puts his firm and his partners’ families at risk by going all in.  Will he be able to win the case, save the firm and somehow compensate these poor families for their tragic losses?  This movie is based on a true story and acquits itself quite well.  Along for the ride are Travolta’s partners, played by the always reliable William H. Macy, Tony Shaloub and Zeljko Ivanek.  4 cans.

152.  Mr. Dynamite – James Brown* (2014) — James Brown was called “The Godfather of Soul” for a good reason.  His rise in the music business coincided with the evolution of music from Gospel to jazz to R&B and soul, with plenty of funk thrown in along the way.  With horns blaring, drums beating and the sax wailing, Brown commanded center stage with an uncanny ability to dance, scream, shout and conduct the orchestra, which was comprised of polished musicians who kept a careful eye on their demanding leader.  Mick Jagger produced this documentary, which includes plenty of interviews from music mavens and Brown’s musicians, all set within the symphony of rock & roll and the rise of the Civil Rights movement.  James Brown was known as “the hardest working man in show business” and this film bares testament to that description as Brown not only dazzles as a performer but excels as he manages his own band and destiny.  A fascinating story of a life force in a cape.  4 cans.

153.  Slap Shot (1977) — Full disclose: I love all things Paul Newman.  Whether he is a con artist (“The Sting”), a hustler (think about it), a bank robber (“Butch Cassidy”) or a prisoner (“Cool Hand Luke”), Newman brings a certain attitude to his roles.  Here he is washed up hockey player-coach Reg Dunlap, presiding over a rag-tag group of journeymen athletes in a small town in a rinky-dink league, and his franchise is about to fold when the local steel mill shuts down.  Ah, but Reg floats a rumor about the team being bought by a senior citizens’ community and moving to Florida.  Along the way, we see what life is like for professional athletes on the road, full of humor, hard times, too much booze, too many women.  In the case of hockey, throw in a brutal amount of violence, much perpetrated by the three Hansen Brothers, goons put into the game to stir things up and draw fans to the seats.  Ned (Michael Onktean) is a Princeton man who decries the violence and simply loves the game, while his miserable young wife (Lindsay Crouse) wants out of the hockey wife life.  Newman is great, full of cunning, as Reg tries to stay afloat, but, alas, he is treading on thin ice (come on, you knew that one was coming…) as the team is ready to fold.  I love the story (George Roy Hill, Newman’s collaborator on “Butch Cassidy,” wrote and directed the film), the actors and the great ‘70s music (thank you, Maxine Nightingale, for “Get Right Back to Where I Started From”).  This might not go down as one of the best sports movies ever, but as a comedy sports movie, it is worth of the Stanley Cup.  4 cans.

154.  Lost in America (1985) —Advertising exec David Howard (Albert Brooks, who also co-wrote and directed) gets passed over for a promotion and protests so vehemently that he gets fired.  He and wife Linda (Julie Hagerty) decide to cash in their nest egg and travel the country in a Winnebago, first stopping in Las Vegas to renew their marriage vows.  In this case, we’re happy that what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas — except for the next egg, that is — because Linda spends the night gambling away the family fortune, leaving them destitute and driving a gas guzzler.  How are two Yuppies who think they have “dropped out,” as in “Easy Rider,” going to survive?  Brooks’ clever comedy pokes fun at all the things we think of as important (“Mercedes leather,” anyone?), and his gift for dialog (check out the scene with Gary Marshall — yes, the director of so many other movies, but not this one — when David tries to talk the casino boss into simply returning their money as an advertising campaign to promote the casino) add enormously to the plot.  There are too many great lines to quote here, but I, for one, cannot hear the term "nest egg” without thinking of this brilliant comedy.  4 big stacks of chips.

Ever More Random Thoughts, November 2014 Edition

My GPS got lost sending me to Walgreen’s the other day.  It turns out it isn’t really on the corner of Happy and Healthy.

Why is it that every time I have an appointment with the eye doctor that requires that my pupils be dilated, that day is the brightest, sunniest day of the week?  I exit the office nearly blinded by the light and proceed to attempt to drive home.  I guess this question is the converse of why it always seems to rain when I put out massive amounts of newspaper and junk mail for recycling.  Speaking of which, here is the rule:  If you put out the recycling the night before the pick-up, it will be picked up late in the day.  But if you forget to put it out the night before and drag your recycling can out on the morning of the pick-up, you will have missed it because the truck came early.  Am I right?

Isn’t it ironic that when you go to the doctor you become the patient, but when they leave you in the examination room in that flimsy paper gown for 30 minutes with magazines from 1997 to read you become impatient?

They used to refer to James Brown as the hardest-working person in show business.  I think the title now belongs to Flo for all those Progressive Insurance commercials.  That woman is everywhere!

I am so tired of making my bed.  I mean, I do it every day (the only exception being when I am sick enough to stay in it all day), but it is the same routine every day.  I wouldn’t think of NOT making it, but I am tired of the routine.  Just saying.

I saw a sign on the corner the other day advertising a garage sale.  It occurred to me that GARAGE and GARBAGE are the same except for the addition of the letter B.  Ironic, considering how much GARBAGE you see at GARAGE sales.

I am available to star in a sequel to the movie “This Is 40” and call it “This Is 64.”  I wonder if Hollywood would be interested.

So I see that big butts are all the rage in music and videos.  This couldn’t have been the case before I lost 80 pounds? 

Do you put something on your To Do List after you have done it just so you can cross it off?  I thought so.

We all have the best of intentions.  When we designate a special, cozy spot for a chair and a lamp so we can read and quietly enjoy a cup of tea, we actually think we will find time to do that, but how rarely does that happen — if ever?

As women, we will come up with whatever excuse we find necessary to justify buying a new handbag or pair of shoes, but, if you are like me, you probably continue to use those old, stained potholders you have had for 20 years.  Come on, they are potholders.  You can replace them without feeling guilty about spending the money after, say, maybe 10 years.

I am sure you clean up before the cleaning lady arrives — like I do — but I also stomp around the living room so she has to vacuum it and doesn’t think I never go in there because you can still see the marks from the last time she vacuumed.

What happens when a woman with a hyphenated last name marries a man with a hyphenated last name and she wants to use her name with his?  Sarah White-Jones Baxter-Burnside?  Good luck to THEIR kids.

I’ve reached the point in life where, when I find a sock with a hole in it, I toss it out and save the other sock, which then gets paired with another solo sock, whether or not they match.  Caution, this practice works best with white, athletic socks.

Speaking of sox, I’m always perplexed when I spot one gnarly-looking sock lying in the street.  I picture the sock’s journey to this escape from the washer or dryer into the sewer system and wonder, is this what happens to a missing sock?  Do they really go all Andy Dufraine and find a way out to “freedom?”

Don’t you hate it when you cannot find something and you keep looking where you just KNOW it will be and it still isn’t there, but you keep telling yourself, “It will turn up,” because that’s what your mother always said, and it is still missing?  This is my way of saying that the hydrocortisone cream I had in the pocket of my sweatpants escaped and remains a fugitive in this house.  Someday, when I move, I KNOW it will be located, but by then it will be too late.  You have been replaced, relieved of your duties, Mr. Hydrocortisone.  But I still think if I look under the chair for the 38^th time you will be lying there in wait. 

I watch a lot of HGTV programs where people are renovating houses.  On “House Hunters Renovation,” the people who have just bought a house end up completely redoing it.  There are “Bath Crashers” and “Kitchen Crashers,” where the hosts lurk in the aisles of Lowe’s until they find someone willing (and smart enough) to agree to have their bathroom or kitchen renovated for free by professionals — in what they claim to be three days.  Who would be stupid enough to turn down such an offer?  And now I note a plethora of celebrity renovation shows.  Vanilla Ice renovates homes for Amish people.  As unlikely as that seems, “Beverly Hills 90210” alum Jennie Garth is renovating her own home on her own TV show.  William Shatner has a renovation show — renovating the Starship Enterprise?  And Daryl Hall of the duo Hall & Oates seems to have a lot of experience in rebuilding old homes.  Even Olympic ice skater Brian Boitano is a designer.  Or is his a cooking show?  I’m getting confused with the Food Network now.  The point is that it seems anyone can have a chop saw, a nail gun and a TV show these days, and you don’t have to be the Property Brothers.

At Weight Watchers recently we discussed posture, and how maintaining the correct posture helps keep your core muscles strong.  Good luck to the next generation, I say.  The only strong muscles they will have are their hand muscles, as they walk slumped over, clutching their smartphones and rarely looking up to see if cars are coming.  I’m no better, by the way.  I slouch, though I try to remind myself to walk erect, but my excuse is I have to keep my head down so the brim of my hat keeps the sun out of my eyes.  This excuse does not work for me on a cloudy day, I must admit.

I recently had a long-delayed reunion with a dear friend with whom I worked back in the 1970s.  We have always stayed in touch but have only seen each other sporadically.  It is amazing to me how it does not matter how much time has passed between visits, because we pick up the conversation as if we just spoke 10 minutes ago.  If you have people in your life like this, you are lucky.  You know who you are.

I have acquired the (well-deserved) reputation of being a grammar freak, as evidenced by the number of posts on Facebook that point out errors and mention my name (not for making the errors, but because these folks know I will be in full-on twitch mode when I see them).  That reputation is not to say I don’t make the occasional error myself (though it is more likely to be a typo than a grammar mistake).  My sister thought it was odd that after I retired I bought several new grammar books.  After all, she reasoned, I wasn’t working anymore, so I wouldn’t need them.  But I’m still writing, I explained, and I still want to do it right. 

Lately, I’ve been going through old pictures — actual photographs and even slides —  weeding out the thousands of pictures I have taken of trees and flowers and ducks on a pond, and especially going through the wedding pictures of people whom I no longer see and who aren’t even married to each other anymore.  In the process, I have come across plenty of pictures of myself that made me say out loud, “What could you have been thinking when you picked THAT outfit?”  I hope I don’t do that in the next picture purge, looking at today’s clothes with the same degree of disdain in 20 years.  Assuming I’m still around in 20 years and know how to purge, that is.

A friend told me a story about buying something recently at Kohl’s for $55 that was on sale for half price, AND she had Kohl’s cash, AND she had a coupon, AND she had some other promo, so, when the cashier rang her up, the item was down to $6.30, AND she still asked the cashier for a scratch off coupon, all while her daughter looked on in total embarrassment.  My hero!

It is deer season here in Hillsborough, so you never know when you might — God forbid — literally run into a deer on the road.  I have noticed that they seldom look before bolting across the street. They also seem illiterate, since they rarely read the signs that say “Deer Crossing” and just cross anywhere they choose.

My superstitions have become “stupid”stitions.  Last year I designated certain pairs of socks, certain underwear and certain shirts to wear to Rutgers Women’s Basketball games.  If they won, I kept these items in the rotation, but if they lost the game, the garments were banned.  When I hit the road for the WNIT Championship, I had to keep washing the shirt I wore to the games since the team kept winning, even though there was barely time to get home and throw in a load.  So I showed up at the Championship game in the winning shirt only to see the team wearing black uniforms for the first time all season.  I guess their uniform color didn’t matter, and I’m hoping this year my choice of the aforementioned items won’t either.  Then, maybe, I can tackle my issue of parking in the same location so as not to jinx the team.

One of my sister Douglass alumnae contributed this random thought for this month’s blog, and I have to say I am with her 100%:  She says she dislikes being in a store and being rung up at the register while the cashier carries on a full conversation with one of the other nearby cashiers.  What is the proper response to this situation?  I don’t like when that happens to me, any more than I like the fact that the cashiers can barely make change on those rare occasions when they confronted with actual cash.  Any suggestions for a proper (or improper) response to the former situation will be graciously accepted for future use.

I turned on the Hallmark Channel the other day to watch an episode of “The Golden Girls,” only to find that the network has already begun airing those truly insipid holiday movies, most of which were made for TV and few of which are worth watching.  It wasn’t even the 1^st of November.  This morning I heard two Christmas songs on the Love station on Sirius radio, which I hope doesn’t mean that the station is converting to all-holiday, all of the time, already.  I’ll be sticking with ESPN radio or my iPod instead.

Happy Holidays to you…

Tina's October 2014 Movies

I tried to see as many movies as I could in October, before basketball season begins to occupy my time.  Here are the 15 that made the cut.  Numbering picks up from previous months and movies marked with an * are those I have not seen previously.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top grade.

127.  The Rule* (2014) — I don’t know anything about Benedictine monks or private schools in Newark, New Jersey, so this documentary about St. Benedict’s was eye-opening.  I knew the reputations of St. Benedict’s accomplished athletic teams, but the school provides so much more — a safe, nurturing environment where kids can learn academics and self-worth, even while they navigate the sometimes scary streets of Newark.  The monks follow the principles of St. Benedict himself, which focus on community, trust, connectedness and other qualities that are foreign to many of the students.  The monks are a dedicated but realistic lot, ceding responsibility to the students to police themselves and giving them leadership responsibilities that they can use later in life.  Any educational institution that can claim a high graduation rate and where most of the students go on to college is a successful one in these turbulent urban areas, and St. Benedicts has achieved that record.  I was impressed.  3½ cans.  

128.  Love Is Strange* (2014) — There actually is nothing strange about this love story between George (Alfred Molina) and Ben (John Lithgow).  The couple has been together for 39 years when they decide to get married.  Immediately, George loses his job as a music teacher at a New York Catholic high school because his marriage defies the teachings of the church.  He and Ben are forced to sell their beloved New York City apartment and, because their friends and relatives live in small places of their own, they have to split up, George living with hard-partying friends and Ben bunking —literally — in the bottom bunk in the room of his teenaged great nephew.  Both feel displaced and in the way, interfering in the lives of their new landlords and missing their private time together.  This is a poignant story that illustrates the complications of life together and apart — and of living in the city.  Molina and Lithgow underplay to perfection.  While I did not agree with the title, I was captivated by the Chopin music used liberally throughout the score.  I haven’t liked non-musical movie music this much since the soundtrack from “Cinema Paradiso.”  It made me want to find Chopin on my iPod once again.  3½ cans.

129.  My Old Lady* (2014) — I think THIS movie should have been called “Love Is Strange,” because in this movie, it sure is.  Kevin Kline plays Mathieus Gold, who has inherited an apartment in France from his late father.  When he goes to claim it so he can sell it, he finds the formidable 92-year old Madame G. (Maggie Smith) living there.  Apparently there is an odd practice in France where one buys an apartment but cannot take ownership of the property until the present owner dies.  While Smith may not be buying green bananas, she nonetheless is destined to outlive us all.  This sounds like a comedy, but it isn’t.  Mathieus learns things about the father he hardly knew and meets Smith’s daughter Chloe (Kristin Scott Thomas), while we wonder about whether they may be related since her mother had a long affair with his father.  Kline’s Mathieus is a sad sack, bereft of money, friends and self-esteem.  Normally I find Kevin Kline so charming and engaging that I kept picturing a more appropriately sardonic Bill Murray in this role.   Love may be strange here after all, but I didn’t find this movie either uplifting or compelling despite the presence of Maggie Smith in the title role.  2½ cans. 

130.  Driving Miss Daisy (1989) — An old Jewish woman falls in love with an old black man.  OK, that’s not how this story is billed, but the bond that develops between the persnickety Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy) and her obliging chauffeur Hoke (Morgan Freeman, in my second favorite Morgan Freeman movie, after “The Shawshank Redemption”) is a special friendship.  Miss Daisy is a southern lady living in a large house by herself, getting by with the help of her son (Dan Ackroyd) and staff.  She doesn’t want to give up driving herself to the Piggly Wiggly, but after she crashes the car one too many times, her son hires Hoke to drive her around.  At first she won’t give him anything to do and won’t even get in the car, but, over time, the ice melts and she comes to trust and appreciate him.  This story is about love and respect that is hard-won.  I love this movie.  4 cans.

131.  Young Victoria (2010) — It’s not easy being queen.  Just ask 18-year old Victoria, who ascends to the throne in England as the only descendent of her uncle the king and his brothers.  But Victoria (Emily Blunt) is pushed and pulled by her mother the duchess and her advisor, both of whom want her to turn over her powers until she is older.  The poor young woman is like a prisoner in a very lavish jail where she is not permitted to attend school or even to descend a staircase without a helping hand.  But Victoria is stronger than she looks, and she’s not about to give it all up for her self-centered mother and her power-hungry advisor.  Besides, she is in love with Albert (Rupert Friend), a distant cousin from Germany who may have his own aspirations.  Lavish sets and costumes make this a dazzling vision of royalty at its best and worst.  3½ cans.

132.  Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) — Jennifer Jones plays the title character, a taciturn school teacher who we can disparagingly call an “old maid.”  She is devoted to her students and her craft, as we see through a series of flashbacks that show her first as an active young woman who is forced into a life of work that was unplanned.  Along the way, her students become police officers, doctors and mothers.  I remember first seeing this movie when I was a teenager and admiring Miss Dove’s devotion, but I have to admit that now it seems so stiff and outdated.  Still, there is always room for movies about characters who behave with honor as they try to elevate the standards of those around them.  2½ cans.

133.  Gone Girl* (2014) — This review will be very short so I don’t spoil the story for you.  Ben Affleck and Rosamind Pike are Nick and Amy Dunne, an attractive young couple seemingly in love with each other and living a comfortable and happy life in the Midwest.  Suffice to say that things are not always as they seem.  If you have read the book, you’ll find this movie to be a faithful rendering the Gilliam Flynn’s story (since she wrote the screenplay), complete with twists and turns.  Don’t try to figure it out, just go along for the ride.  Well worth seeing.  4 cans.

134.  Up in the Air (2009) — Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a man with almost no baggage.  Even the suitcase he carries on his nearly daily business flights is exceedingly well thought out.  He leaves no room for ambiguity in his life, which revolves around his job, working for a firm that specializes in firing people for companies who cannot or will not pull the trigger.  He has virtually no personal life, which suits him just fine.  His big aspiration is to get to 10 million flight miles and get a special gold card from the airline.  All that is fine until he meets Alex, the female version of himself (Vera Farmiga) and suddenly he has to juggle his schedule to spend time with her.  Meanwhile, he is training a young woman (Anna Kendrick, looking too young to work at anything other than a lemonade stand) to be as detached as he is as they deliver life-changing news to emotionally overwrought soon-to-be former employees.  The social commentary in this is stunning, as the diminished value of people and their work is at the forefront.  Oh, the humanity — or lack thereof.  Clooney is perfect as Bingham, charming with Alex, unyielding as the executioner.  And many of the people depicted being fired are real victims of unemployment, so their presence lends an air of authenticity.  4 cans.

135.  Stakeout (1987) — It is probably not a good idea for a police officer to fall in love with the person he/she is supposed to be staking out, but that’s what happens with Chris (Richard Dreyfus) and Maria (Madeliene Stowe).  Maria’s ex (Aidan Quinn) has just escaped prison and the cops are assigned to keep an eye on her lest the bad guy show up.  So Chris and his partner Bill (Emilio Estevez) hole up in the house across the street to check her out.  This film is part buddy movie (and Dreyfus and Estevez have great chemistry), part action movie (check out the sequence near the beginning at a fish processing plant) and part inadvertent love story.  Stowe and Dreyfus are charming together, and Dreyfus’ Chris is a clever guy.  This movie came out around the same time as two similar ones that I also liked very much: “Running Scared” with Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines and “Midnight Run” with Robert DeNiro as a bounty hunter and Charles Grodin as his prey, who almost drives the hunter crazy.  Three fun films, fans.  3½ cans.

136.  Hoosiers (1986) — With basketball season about to start, what better movie to enjoy than this quintessential sports classic about the disgraced coach who leads the small-town underdog team to the state championship game?  Gene Hackman is a memorable Norman Dale, a tough coach whom the townsfolk don’t appreciate at first.  In the beginning Coach Dale barely has enough players to take the court, and the best player in school won’t even come out for the team.  Yes, the story is riddled with the usual sports clichés, but this tale, based on the true story of an Indiana team in the early 1950s, will win your heart as much as they win their games.  And from a basketball standpoint, these guys look like they can actually play.  4 hoops and a holler.

137.  When the Garden Was Eden* (2014) — Speaking of basketball, this documentary from ESPN’s “30 for 30” series examines the rise of not only the new Madison Square Garden in the 1960s-1970s, but also its inhabitants, primarily the New York Knicks.  Until the NBA really began rolling nationally, it seemed that only the Boston Celtics won the Championship each year, often at the hands of the Los Angeles Lakers.  But in the late 60s and early 70s, the Knicks moved into the new Garden at Penn Station and, with the move, came the such unique players as Walt “Clyde” Frazier, Dave Debusschere, Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, Jerry Lucas, Cassie Russell, Phil Jackson, future Senator Bill Bradley — who deferred his basketball career for two years so he could be a Rhodes Scholar — and Willis Reed, whose walk onto the floor for the 7^th game of the 1970 Championship, despite what seemed like a devastating injury, became the stuff of legend.  Before the rise of the Knicks, the Garden was the raucous home of college basketball and the cigar-smoking, betting men who followed the game.  But the Knicks brought glamour and winning and attracted the stars to courtside.  The team that emphasized teamwork won championships in 1970 and 1973 and hasn’t won since.  But it was great while it lasted.  This film was a labor of love for actor/director Michael Rapaport, a native New Yorker who wasn’t even alive back in the Knicks heyday but grew up steeped in their lore.  If you know anything about pro basketball, you probably know this story, but to relive it was a real treat.  4 hoops.

138.  The Fault In Our Stars* (2014) — Any movie that starts off with the protagonists meeting in a cancer support group for teenagers cannot end well, but we are willing to come along for the all-too-brief ride because the characters of Hazel Grace (Shailene Woodley) and Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) are just so appealing.  Hazel is going to die someday from lung cancer that has almost killed her once, but Gus, who has already lost his lower leg to cancer, looks healthy and recovered.  The two share witty texts, become fast friends and head out to Amsterdam to catch up with her favorite author (Willem Dafoe) to find out what happened to the characters in the book she loves.  They enjoy a romantic dinner and imbibe in champagne as they fall in love.  Gus is cute as can be, and Hazel, sporting a cannula for oxygen, reluctantly falls for him since she knows one of them will end up alone.  This movie is a good example of the book being better than the screen adaptation.  Something about the dialog just made it pop off the page, where, when delivered by the characters on screen, it seems contrived.  It is little corny, a little sad, and probably intended as “Love Story” for a generation 40 years younger than me.  Read the book instead.  3 cans.

139.   The Judge* (2014) — Smug Chicago lawyer Hank Palmer (Robert Downey, Jr.) has a challenging client, an irascible, elderly judge who is being tried for murder in a small Indiana town.  The client, Joseph Palmer (Robert Duvall) doesn’t want to take his attorney’s advice, and, in fact, treats him such disdain that it hamper’s Hank’s trial strategy.  Add the fact that Hank is his son, and the matter becomes that much more complicated.  Long-festering emotions spill out even as Hank is forced to care for his father in ways he never imagined.  As you can imagine, father and son begin to look at each other with new respect and less venom.  I’ve never been a big RDJ fan, but he holds his own against crusty Duvall.  Vera Farmiga plays Hank’s former high school sweetheart and adds a twist to the story.  I suspect that when Oscar time rolls around, at least Duvall will hear people say, “Here comes the Judge.”  4 cans.

140.  The Best of Me* (2014) — The Nicholas Sparks formula is getting a tad too familiar:  Young, attractive, star-crossed lovers get together, break apart, reunite years later, something BIG happens, etc.  I don’t want to give away the plot, but I did find this outing better than the other Sparks movies I’ve seen, at least since the classic tearjerker, “The Notebook,” which I love.  I really enjoyed this one, too, with a very handsome James Marsden as Dawson Cole, the boy from the wrong side of the tracks (played as a young man by a very handsome Luke Bracey, with echoes of Ryan Gosling in “The Notebook”) and Michelle Monaghan as Amanda (younger version by Liana Liberato), the rich girl who doesn’t care about Dawson’s trashy and dangerous family.  The knight in shining armor is Gerald McRaney as Tuck, the local man who takes in young Dawson and becomes a surrogate father to the troubled teen.  When Tuck dies, Dawson and Amanda are summoned by his lawyer to dispose of his ashes and his things, reuniting after 21 years and many unhappy memories.  But do you ever really get over your first love?   And is love alone enough to make the relationship endure despite obstacles?  This is probably not a movie to which to drag the man in your life, but it is one I can imagine myself binge watching when it hits TV and someone airs it incessantly.  It wasn’t the best of Sparks, but it was close enough.  4 cans.

141.  The Departed (2006) — Moles, rats, mobs and tons of blood populate this suspenseful drama by Martin Scorsese.  Billy (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a young state trooper recruited by police (Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen) to go undercover with the mob in Boston, which is led by Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson, looking a bit demented, like the character in “The Shining”).  His counterpart is Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon), raised and planted in the police department to be the rat by Costello.  Each man knows someone on the other side has infiltrated their respective organizations, and each scene draws them closer to figuring out who is whom.  Just when you think one of them will be unmasked, there is a twist.  The tension stays at a high level throughout the story, and, by the end, you don’t know who is legit and who has sold his loyalties to the highest bidder.  This film is also my third with Vera Farmila this month, as she plays a police psychologist involved with both Billy and Sullivan.  4 handguns.

Random Thoughts, October 2014 Edition

Here’s my theory and I know it is true:  Whatever you have to do takes up the time in which you have to do it.  So I can accomplish either 10 things on a very busy day or two things on a relatively free day. There are 24 hours in each day, and we manage to fill them up (and then some) every day, don’t we?  By the way, I have this same theory about kitchen cabinets:  No matter how many cabinets you have in your kitchen, you will find something to fill them up.

What are we supposed to do with all those miscellaneous vases that accumulate from flower deliveries?  Some are nice, most are cheap, and, not that I get flowers that often, they pile up.  My local florist was happy to take them off my hands and even gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers for bringing them in.  I said I would take the flowers — as long as they weren’t in a vase.

I think nothing of spending money on big things, but I will nurse an emery board along until there is nothing left with which to file my nails. 

If Beyoncé went into the home furnishings business, she could sell her collection at Bed, Bath and Beyoncé.

I saw this on Facebook so it isn’t an original thought, but it is certainly true:  I will carry 18 bags of groceries into the house at one time or die trying rather than make 2 trips.  Throw in a handbag and a camera just to make the load that much more impossible to bear and you have me in a nutshell.

Thank you, Dr. Oz, for your obvious concern about my health.  Every single day you send me a message about “a new fat buster that burns belly fat without dieting.”  I’m starting to think this whole Dr. Oz thing might not be legit.  Thoughts?

With all of the HGTV home sales and improvement shows I watch, I now think I have seen every home in the US and Canada.  And I should have a certification in carpentry and design just by osmosis.

I will be moving next year, which should give me ample time to get rid of my collections of things like those perfume strips that come in magazines, countless candles that I don’t burn (along with candleholders) and a collection of canvas bags that never seems to diminish despite my having donated a bunch to a good cause a few years back.  How some of this stuff made it through my last move (in 2007), I cannot fathom.  But this time I am ditching the receipts for the monthly mortgage payments from my first house — in 1983!  I don’t think I need them anymore.  Right?

Parking is getting more difficult these days.  At Weis’ markets, there are spaces blocked for people picking up their on-line orders.  At Kohl’s, there are spaces reserved for “Employee of the Month.”  At Buy, Buy Baby, spaces are allotted for people with infants and pregnant women.  It takes me longer the read the signs indicating the parking restrictions than it does to shop in the store.  The good thing is that having to park further away assures that I get some walking in.

My hair is becoming gray, and it is especially noticeable since I haven’t had it highlighted in a while.  It is growing on me, so to speak.  I wonder what it will look like when I am completely gray, because, at least right now, I’m not planning to color it.  So does that mean I have to get a new driver’s license and change my hair color listing from brown to gray? 

How can you tell whether a pumpernickel bagel is toasted?  Don’t wait for the punchline; I really don’t know the answer.

I think there is something drastically wrong with my car.  It cannot be parked straight.  Maybe it is a parallelogram instead of a rectangle, because it couldn’t be the driver (me), could it?

Where do we get the expression “a month of Sundays?”  I mean, every month has 4 Sundays, right?  So does the expression mean every day in the month is a Sunday?  I know it means a long time, but where did we get this expression?

Let the Ray Rice incident serve as a cautionary tale to show that you can go from hero to zero with one incredibly offensive and harmful act, changing your life and those around you forever.  Smarten up, people.  Domestic violence — or any violence — is just not acceptable.  Deplorable.

I cannot bring myself to toss out paper clips.  When I recycle paper, I always remove the clips and save them to reuse. 

For someone who doesn’t sew, I have a collection of buttons that could go into the Guinness Book of World Records.  I must have the extra buttons from every article of clothing I have ever bought.  I’m afraid to throw them out, because what if I need one? Of course, there’s always the cleaners, where they sew buttons on for me because I either can’t see the needle to thread it or I will stab myself in the finger.  Don’t laugh.  It has happened more than once.

Is it just me or does the name Ariana Grande sound less like a singer and more like a beverage from Starbucks?

I can’t be the only one who sees the irony of having the all-you-can-eat buffet Flaming Grill located next to Retro Fitness.

I wish these social media sites would stop asking me if I know So and So.  Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but do I need one MORE way of connecting with people?  There aren’t enough hours in the day!

There are few things I hate to do more or at which I am worse than scheduling, the bane of my existence.  Ask me for a particular date and I can check my calendar for a quick yes or no.  But ask me to gather 6 women for dinner or lunch and I'm overwhelmed with everyone's vacation schedules, commitments (legit ones, I know) and other plans.  I need a spreadsheet -- or an administrative assistant.

I truly believe that there is no one who knows the real words to "Louie, Louie," or who can figure out why that damn cake is melting in the rain in "MacArthur Park."  It amazes me that the latter song was recorded not just by actor Richard Harris but also released by the Disco Diva herself, Donna Summer.  You think maybe they got it and I didn't?

Speaking of music, like U2, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.  But I also can't remember what it was.

I see that Rutgers just created an endowed chair in communications that is named for Gloria Steinem.  That got me to thinking that if they ever named an endowed chair for me, it would have to be a recliner.

When did Halloween get to be such a big deal?  When I was a kid, we slapped on some concocted outfit and a mask, grabbed a bag (and were forced to wear a coat OVER our costumes if Mom thought it was too cold out) and headed out to collect out loot.  Now it seems that Halloween is big business.  Temporary stores pop up for the month leading up to the big day, lawns are festooned with inflatable characters sporting “Boo” signs, and at least one house I pass on my walk has a skeleton riding a bike on the front lawn.  I hate Halloween.  I don’t want to buy candy and keep in it my house, I don’t want the doorbell interrupting whatever I happen to be doing, and I basically just don’t want to be home.  So I am going out to dinner with like-minded, snarky friends, all of whom lack the true spirit of the holiday.  Get it?

I rarely get calls on my cellphone, so when I get a random call from an unknown source, it is probably going to be someone dying to give me a free cruise, a vacation home or a hard time.  I just registered my cell phone on the national Do Not Call hotline, which is a quick and easy thing to do.  When sales people call my phone, I ask them if they are aware of the Do Not Call registry and I tell them that it is illegal for them to call me since I am registered and I will report them.  The conversation usually comes to a quick halt.  These calls are SO annoying!

Is it just me or are those Matthew McConaghey Lincoln commercials just a tad creepy?

Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “If it were up to me…”  Then I realize that, in most situations, it IS up to me.

Tina's September 2014 Movies

With 14 hours of "The Roosevelts" occupying much of September, I was lucky to squeeze in a dozen movies this month (and I counted the 14-hour documentary on Teddy, Franklin and Eleanor as just one).  Movies not previously seen are marked with an * and the numbering picks up from the previous month.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 cans of tuna fish, 5 being the best.

115.  The Young Philadelphians (1959) — Anthony Judson Lawrence (Paul Newman) is raised as the scion of a Mainline Philadelphia family with a Princeton education and a career as a lawyer.  He falls in love with an equally privileged young woman (Joan, played by Barbara Rush), but is persuaded to delay their marriage by her father, who makes him a better offer.  It seems as if every Mainline person in Philadelphia knows everyone else, and all the old men look like the pictures on the “Community Chest” and “Get Out of Jail Free” cards in Monopoly.  Tony’s family secrets and his way of life are put on trial when he has to defend his college roommate (Robert Vaughn) in court against a charge of murder.  This drama has a great courtroom climax and enough of a plot to overcome its soap opera tendencies.  Newman is terrific and very handsome, the women are sophisticated and haughty, and Billie Burke, as a wealthy if somewhat ditsy client, is delightful.  I am guilty as charged of loving this movie.  4 cans.

116.  Spencer’s Mountain (1963) — I recall being more enamored by this family movie when I first saw it at age 13, but now it seems pleasant enough but more dated and corny.  Henry Fonda plays Clay Spencer, patriarch of a family of nine children, one of whom, Clay Jr. (James MacArthur), is graduating from high school.  Poppa and his wife Olivia (Maureen O’Hara) are proud but poor folk, living in beautiful Wyoming.  He wants to build a dream house up on Spencer’s Mountain, while she is just trying keep that brood fed.  Clay Jr. dreams of going to college, but can’t afford it.  Will he win a scholarship?  Can the family afford to let him leave the farm or will he end up working in the quarry with the rest of the Spencer clan?  MacArthur is way too old to be believable as a high school student/graduate, and Fonda channels characters from his other movies, such as “Mr. Roberts” and “On Golden Pond,” showing his gruff but loving side.  This movie is from writer Earl Hamner Jr. and was the basis for the long-running TV show, “The Waltons.”  2 cans, not because it was bad, but it moves slowly and seems a bit corny to me now.

117.  Harry & Son* (1984) — Paul Newman, who also directed, is Harry in this bittersweet story of an aging father and the son who can’t please him.  Harry is a widower, living with his son Howard (soft-spoken Robby Benson), the son who can’t hold a job and who aspires to be a writer.  Harry only knows hard work.  He’s been in construction for years and now demolishes buildings, but he gets spells where he can’t function properly.  As he tells his son, “I want to work and can’t.  You can and don’t want to.”  They are both frustrated with each other, but there is obvious caring and love between them.  The unlikely casting of a very young Ellen Barkin as a former girlfriend of Howard’s who is now pregnant, and Newman’s real wife, Joanne Woodward, as the local pet store owner who has an eye for Harry, round out the cast.  Newman is good as a man losing his grip and aspiring to better things for his son, and Benson is quiet and effective as hapless Howie.  3½ cans.

118.  When the Game Stands Tall* (2014) — I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker for sentimental sports movies, even though they are generally riddled with clichés even if they are based on real stories.  From “Brian’s Song” to “Rudy” to “Remember the Titans,” these movies typically have the obligatory health scare or death scene of someone dying far too young.  They normally have the underdogs positioned to come from behind and take home the big prize, even if that prize is — as in the case of “Rudy” — just getting into the game.  Here, too, Jim Caviezal plays real life high school football coach Bob Ladouceur, coach of the DeLaSalle Spartans, owners of a remarkable 151 game winning streak.  The team hasn’t lost in years but we know it wouldn’t be much of a movie without the drama of the streak being threatened.  Ladouceur works hard — almost tragically hard — not just to coach his team, but to help them develop into responsible young men who would do anything for each other and the team.  There is a lot of pressure on the players to uphold the standard set by each previous year’s team, and the town — and the parents — add to that burden, even as Ladoucer does not.  The movies isn’t as sentimental as some others I’ve seen, and, though it has heart, it doesn’t pack quite the dramatic punch as they do, either.  Let’s give it a field goal — 3 cans.

119.  Rudy (1993) — And speaking of “Rudy,” I couldn’t resist watching this classic when I spotted it on TV tonight.  If you don’t get a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye watching the diminutive Rudy finally get his chance to play football for Notre Dame, then you have no heart.  Sean Astin puts his all into playing Rudy, a kid determined to get into Notre Dame and even more determined to play football.  Despite being “5 foot nothing,” Rudy’s willingness to do anything for the team endears him to the other players (at least the ones who don’t feel that he is showing them up with his all-out effort at every practice), who insist to the coach that Rudy be allowed to dress for the final game of his senior year.  With only seconds left on the clock and the chant “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy,” reverberating around the stadium, the coach reluctantly lets Rudy into the game, his first time playing real football for Notre Dame.  This heartwarming movie, based on a true story, shows us what determination and persistence mean, and how sometimes dreams really do come true.  4 cans.

120.  Good Job: Stories of the FDNY* (2014) — Actor and former firefighter Steve Buscemi sits down with active and retired members of the New York Fire Department to discuss how they view and do their jobs.  The tough but touching documentary reveals the dedication and the trauma of fighting fires, of losing friends, of seeing the first loss of life, of noticing that the sheets on a child’s bed are the same as the sheets on your own child’s bed.  These brave men and women were born to do this job, or didn’t know what else to do with their lives.  Some women and African Americans entered hostile work environments among the 90% white male workplace, but they proved their mettle more than the “probies,” the probationary firefighters, and most cannot imagine doing anything else.  Many are now suffering the symptoms of illness directly related to the job or have watched their comrades die during or after the biggest loss of firefighters in the history of the FDNY, on September 11, 2001.  This is not a group of people prone to sharing their stories — even with their loved ones — but here they open up and enlighten all of us about their lives and what they do to serve the people of New York.  An excellent HBO documentary is the result.  4 cans.

121.  Beverly Hills Cop (1984) — Can it really be 30 years since Eddie Murphy brought brash and clever cop Axel Foley to the screen?  Here he is the proverbial fish out of water, a Detroit cop who goes to Beverly Hills in search of the killer of his childhood Detroit friend.  He can improvise his way through any situation, and, though the Beverly Hills Police Department is strictly a by-the-book precinct, he eventually wins their support, too.  There is comedy, drama and great 80s music here, and Murphy brings plenty of life to Axel Foley.  I hadn’t seen this movie in years, but it was well worth revisiting.  4 cans.

122.  Nixon By Nixon: His Own Words* (2014) — While there might be debate over what President Richard Nixon knew and when he knew it about Watergate, this much is clear:  He and several of his key aides knew of the existence of a recording system in his office, on his phone and on their own phones and they proceeded to speak candidly about Watergate and every other issue anyway.  It appears Nixon either forgot he was being recorded when he told Counsel John Dean that getting a million dollars to pay off the men involved in Watergate would be easy or that he felt that he, as President, could protect the recordings from ever being released.  Whether he was ordering the monitoring of Henry Kissinger’s phone calls, trying to collect dirt on Teddy Kennedy through the Secret Service, banning all reporters from the Washington Post from the White House or referring in a pejorative way to Jewish people and others, everything he said was recorded.  As we know from the tapes released at the time of Watergate as a result of a ruling by the Supreme Court, Nixon and his staff were deeply involved in the Watergate cover-up that led to his resignation as President.  This documentary provides a fascinating account of Nixon, not only from the recordings, but from interviews he conducted after he left office.  Who among us would want our private conversations made public?  But Nixon’s hubris led him to believe he could do or say anything with impunity because he was the president.  Now we know it’s not the crime, it is the cover-up that gets you in the end.  And we know that recordings — today video, then audio — will relay the truth.  These recordings, released in 2013, reveal much about the abuse of power.  Fascinating and sad.  4 cans.

123.  Blow Out* (1981) — This movie is neither the sequel to “Shampoo” or the prequel to “Hairspray.”  John Travolta plays Jack, a sound engineer who is out one evening recording sounds when he sees a car careen off a bridge after what sounds like a gunshot — not a blowout.  He jumps into the river and rescues a young woman who was a passenger in the car.  The police seem curiously uninterested in the woman (Nancy Allen) since they are trying to protect the reputation of the dead driver, a political candidate, a married man who wasn’t supposed to be with the woman in the first place.  But Jack can’t let it go, since he knows the accident wasn’t an accident.  John Lithgow and Dennis Franz play the bad guy and a mercenary photographer who staged the incident to blackmail the candidate.  This movie has its share of suspense but seems a little hard to believe at times.  Still, director/writer Brian DePalma knows how to grab our attention, and Travolta gives what I’d call a “sound” performance.  Get it?  3 cans.

124.  The Roosevelts: An Intimate Portrait* (2014) — This Ken Burns documentary occupied much of my time this month with its 7-part, 14-hour airing on PBS.  The rich history of the Roosevelts — from Theodore to Franklin and Eleanor — is lushly documented, replete with thousands of photographs and hundreds of film clips on the two presidents and one of the most famous women of the 20^th century.  Their family histories and political ambitions are thoroughly explored against the culture and tenor of the times in which they lived.  Teddy was surely a “rough rider,” a man who loved to hunt and kill animals but who also set aside massive tracts of land for preservation.  He built the Panama Canal and fought in the Battle of San Juan Hill, perversely proud that his regimen suffered the most causalities.  Franklin and Eleanor, distant cousins to each other and related to Teddy, had far different upbringings but married young and stayed together despite his infidelities, which might have ruined his political aspirations.  Eleanor, meek and abandoned as a child, grew into her own social consciousness and added her views to Franklin’s plans to bring the country out of the Great Depression upon his election as President in 1932.  She forged her own life as he continued to serve as president through World War II and until his death just after he was elected to an unheard-of fourth term in 1944.  Much of this story is known, but no one can document a story and make a grand tale seem intimate better than Ken Burns and his collaborators.  This series is a “good deal.”  4½ cans.

125.  To Catch A Thief (1955) — When a cat burglar targets wealthy women vacationing along the French Riviera, suspicion naturally points to “retired” burglar John Robie (a dashing Cary Grant).  To prove his innocence, Robie must catch the real thief, while simultaneously warding off the police and the doubts of beautiful young heiress (Grace Kelly).  With Grant and Kelly as the leads and the backdrop of the gorgeous French Riviera, who even cares about the plot?  The story is satisfying, even if it is not that difficult to figure out whodunit.  3½ cans. 

126.  Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (2010) — In light of the recent passing of comedy icon Joan Rivers, I thought it was the right time to view this documentary again.  Bawdy and profane, Joan Rivers was one of the few women to do stand-up comedy and to hold her own against the countless men commanding the stage and TV shows.  Once the chosen one as permanent guest host of Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show,” Joan became persona non grata when she accepted Fox’s offer of a show of her own.  Johnny never spoke to her again, her show was quickly cancelled and her husband Edgar committed suicide.  All of these events are covered here and lend a sense of sadness to Joan’s life of desperation, as she tried to keep her “”book” filled with nearly any kind of gig that is offered to her.  She maintained a sumptuous lifestyle, living in an apartment she described as one where Marie Antoinette would live.  She shows us the myriad of card catalogs containing virtually every joke she ever wrote and performed.  She was tireless, fearless and ruthless — about other people and about herself.  She was, as the title says, a piece of work.  And very, very funny.  3½ cans.

Life Lessons for My Nephew

As I was splitting an English muffin the other day with a fork, I started thinking about my nephew.  He’s 21 years old now and a senior in college.  A year from now — with any luck — he’ll be gainfully employed and making his way in this world.  So, I wondered, does he know that you never slice an English muffin with a knife?  I mean, my sister and her husband have raised him well, and he is becoming increasingly independent, but he is an only child, and he is accustomed to having things done his way (or for him).  How will he handle the interview process?  We are preparing for that now with the purchase of two suits, the first he’s had since his Bar Mitzvah.  I started to think of the things I know and would want to share with him to help him cope with life on every level, from the practical to the sublime.  He probably knows a lot of this stuff already, but does he practice it?  And that starts with the English muffins.

For instance:

1. Always buy Thomas’ English muffins, no matter what the price may be of other brands.  And always, always, split them with a fork.  You absolutely need those nooks and crannies.

2. And don’t skimp on the toilet paper, either.  Single ply should be illegal!

3. Never say never.  You hear people say, “Oh, I could never do that.”  But until you are in a situation, you really don’t know how you will react and what your capabilities are.  So if you think you cannot possibly take time to come see your favorite aunt, think again.

4. You are NOT the center of the universe.  The world exists all around you, but not because of you.

5. If you see a truck in the distance stopping at a red light ahead of you, try to move safely to the left lane.  Otherwise you’ll be stuck behind him when the light turns green.

6. If you are behind a truck or sports car on a hill, give them a little extra space because they might just slide back when they shift into first gear.  Not everyone drives an automatic transmission.  In fact, it wouldn’t kill you to learn how to drive one.  That’s how I learned to drive.  You will have a skill that few people have anymore and it could come in handy if you go on “The Amazing Race.”

7. Think before you speak.  And think about how your words will be taken by the other person/people.

8. Don’t make your hobby into your business or it won’t be a hobby anymore.  That’s why I don’t do professional photography.  It is still fun for me.

9. Take initiative.  You can’t always rely on other people to make the plans and the arrangements.  If they leave you out, you’ll be missing out on something you wanted to do.

10. Be nice to girls and to their parents.  And never be a jerk.

11. Don’t think that your way is the only way.  Try new things.  You might just learn something and find a better way.  After decades of eating my cereal dry, now I’m adding a splash of milk.  And I like it.  

12. Cops will find you when you drive away from a bar.

13. Never, never, drive drunk.  Don’t drive with someone else who is drunk.  And don’t text while driving.  The common denominator here for risk seems to be driving or riding in a car.  So think about that carefully.

14. However, assuming you didn’t do the driving but you stayed in one place and got drunk and the world is spinning, do yourself a favor:  Stick your finger down your throat and make yourself throw up.  It is yucky at the time, but getting over it is preferable to being sick all night.

15. When a girl says no, she means no.  Show some respect.

16. Demonstrate your appreciation.  If you go on a job interview, write a follow-up letter of thanks and mention specific things from the interview.  And show your appreciation to your parents, who have sacrificed so much for you.

17. Have a firm handshake and look people in the eye.  Though you come from a generation that has spent its youth looking down on a handheld device to communicate, speak directly and be engaged in the conversation.

18. Don’t interrupt.

19. Under no circumstances are Sperry Topsiders, no matter how new, appropriate to wear with a suit.

20. Keep your shoes shined.

21. Under no circumstances should your pants dip below your boxers so they are visible.

22. Respect is earned.  Make sure your actions inspire respect from others.

23. On the other hand, your grandmother, the late, great Sylvia Gordon, always advised me not to take crap from anyone.  So don’t — but earn their respect.

24. You can’t control the outcome of every situation, but you can control the amount of effort you put into it.

25. Just when you think you know everything, you’ll figure out that you have a lot more to learn.

26. Always, always, always, be nice and respectful to executive/administrative assistants.  They know more than you do (and probably more than their bosses in many cases) and they are the gatekeepers.  You want to see the boss?  You had better have a good rapport with her/his assistant.  Treat them as the professionals they are.

27. Failure is not fatal.  It isn’t something to which to aspire, but when you fail, as you inevitably will, learn a lesson from the failure to make it worthwhile.  You’ll most likely recover and you will have learned something useful.

28. Read.  Enjoy culture, not just those loud bands you follow.  Visit museums, see good (and bad) movies, go to the theater.  Experience the classics.  Love “The Godfather.”

29. When in doubt, do without.  If you aren’t certain about buying something, you probably don’t need it, so don’t buy it.

30. You’ve been a lucky guy, getting through college and enjoying life, so pay it forward.  Whether it is your time or your money or your expertise, share with others less fortunate or with people who can use your help.  I can’t count how many resumes I have reviewed for people, how many causes I have supported, how many interviews for which I have helped people prepare.  You can’t buy the feeling of doing good for others and it makes you feel great.

31. Don’t make decisions based on money.  Sure, money is a factor, but don’t make it the deciding factor in whether you take a new job, or you might be working in a field you don’t like just because the job paid you more than you were getting elsewhere.  This caveat applies to a myriad of things.

32. Expand your vocabulary so you know the meaning of words like caveat and myriad.  I know you can beat me on Words With Friends, so I haven’t even tried to play you to avoid embarrassment.  

33. Recycle.  That means all those beer bottles, you know?

34. Always have sharp knives.  You can get cut more easily when your knives are dull.  And pay attention to what you are doing when you have a knife in your hand.

35. Work hard.  Do your best.  And have fun.  You should have a laugh at least once a day.  It is good for the soul.

36. Cherish your friends and your childhood memories.  All those days on the soccer fields, all those baseball games and hanging around with the Case Drive Crew are priceless.

37. Be responsible.  Pay your bills on time and don’t run up credit card balances.  

38. Do what you say you will do.  Let people be able to count on you.

39. Rise to the occasion.  Don’t be afraid to take on a larger responsibility than you are ready to take.  Someone who suggested it thinks that you are ready.

40. You are responsible for your own career.  Take it on fully and don’t expect anyone to hand you success.  Earn it.

41. Don’t assume anything.  Communicate unambiguously and never make assumptions.  You know what they say — “When you ASSUME, you make an ASS of YOU and ME.”

42. Stay active.  Work out, run, whatever you like to do to stay fit and in shape.  Your mind and body will be better for it.

43. Keep track of your stuff.  Don’t lose your shirt, shorts and phone charger.  I say this now, because you already do, and you should stop that immediately.

44. Don’t use a dumb e-mail address like “Hotguy” or post information on Facebook or Twitter about getting drunk or doing stupid stuff.  Prospective employers will look up your social media profile and be turned off by what you post.  You not only won’t get the job, you won’t even get the interview.

45. Proofread everything you send out.  Eliminate the errors before someone points them out to you.  I have seen resumes where the people had their own names spelled wrong.  Doesn’t that make a great first impression?

46. If you get a stain on something, treat it immediately.  You can save plenty of clothes with a little cold water or a Shout wipe.

47. Clean up after yourself.  The dishes need to be washed, the beds need to be made and your sheets need to be changed more than once a year.  If you keep things orderly, you’ll be more productive.  

48. Make sure you have a supply of the stuff you use most often, from orange juice to toilet paper to pens & pencils (assuming you ever use them).  You don’t have to go overboard, but stock and restock the items you use most so you don’t run out.  

49. Keep in touch.  I want to hear from you when you don’t need something or you aren’t obligated to thank me.  Just talk to me because I am someone special in your life.

50. Always, always, remember the answer to this question:  “Who is your favorite aunt?”  I know I am the only one, but still…

Tina's August 2014 Movies

I watched a dozen movies in August, trying hard to see only movies I hadn't seen before (those marked with an *), but I couldn't resist a few old ones.  At least one I should have resisted (you'll identify which one by its one can rating). Numbering picks up from July and all movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating.

103.  City by the Sea* (2002) — Life isn’t easy for junkie Joey Nova (James Franco).  He has a girlfriend and a baby and a nasty drug habit.  When he and his buddy get into a fight with a dealer, Joey ends up stabbing the guy to death.  The cop who catches the case is his estranged father, Vincent LaMarca (Robert DeNiro), who abandoned his son after divorcing his mother (Patti LaPone).  Will father catch son?  Will he help him or bring him in?  I would not have watched this movie had DeNiro and Frances McDormand, who plays the cop’s girlfriend, not been the leads.  It was a taut cop story and worth seeing.  3½ cans.

104.  Boyhood* (2014) — Growing up is never easy, and surviving the upheaval of divorce only complicates things for the children, as this drama poignantly demonstrates.  The mother (Patricia Arquette) tries to build her vision of a real family for her son (Ellar Coltrane and daughter (Lorelai Linklater, the director’s daughter), but keeps marrying abusive losers who only make life worse for everyone.  Continual money problems and constant moving means the kids change schools and have to make new friends, and spend much of the time trying to figure things out on their own since the mother has to deal with her own problems.  The hook here by director Richard Linklater is that he filmed this movie over a 12-year period, so you see the actual actors actually age, none so obviously as the main character, Mason, who evolves from an innocent 6-year-old to a high school graduate on his first day of college.  Linklater teams with his star from “Before Sunrise” and “Before Sunset,” Ethan Hawke (as Mason’s father), once again.  Let me say that I really wanted to like this movie, but instead found it just as dull as I found the aforementioned Linklater works.  Mason is a good kid, but, because of the upheavals, he doesn’t get too close to anyone.  The family has communications issues and cannot relate to each other in a genuine way (I’m not saying the dialog is not authentic, it’s just gloomy).  In the end, I just didn’t really care about these people.  I can recommend it only to those with the patience to sit through three hours of not much happening.  3 cans.

105.  Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion* (1997) — Romy and Michelle (Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow) are sweetly vapid young women approaching their 10-year high school reunion without decent jobs or men in their lives.  Best friends forever, the two somehow survived the horrors of high school — which this movie depicts with stereotypical accuracy — without even realizing that they were not in any clique.  They went to the prom together, dressed like Madonna, and while Romy pined for the high school jock, Michelle was worshipped by the geek who would later become rich and famous (Alan Cumming, without a trace of his Scottish accent, like a very young Eli Gold).  When they decide to attend their high school reunion, they create a story that depicts them as hugely successful their careers, claiming that Romy invented “Post-It” notes.  About to be ostracized yet again, they manage to turn the tables on the perky prom queen and her court.  Kudrow and Sorvino play their parts to the hilt, all blond, long legs, short skirts and eye rolls.  This is no “Citizen Kane,” but it is a pleasant enough diversion that was almost worth waiting 17 years to see.  I can probably go another 17 before I see it again.  3 cans.

106. China Moon* (1994) — If you are a fan of “Body Heat” or the old Barbara Stanwyck-Fred MacMurray classic, “Double Indemnity,” this film noir is right up your alley.  I think “film noir” is French for “sexy lady gets man to do something for her he shouldn’t do,” which generally means to murder or help murder her husband.   In this suspenseful movie, Ed Harris is Kyle, a cop known for his ability to crack a case, but this time he falls for the murderer.  Madeline Stowe is married to a mean, abusive and very rich banker (Charles Dance) when she meets detective Kyle in a bar.  He pursues her, and soon she is plotting for a way to knock off hubby and be with him.  Can she pull it off with his help?  How far is he willing to go for the woman he loves?  Will the cops turn the tables on him?  My only criticisms of this movie are that it takes a while to get going, and that the title really has nothing to do with anything.  Though “Body Heat” (with sexy Kathleen Turner and sweaty William Hurt) may be more sultry, “China Moon” is just as suspenseful.  4 cans.

107.  Seeking a Friend for the End of the World* (2012) — It is the end of the world as we know it, as an asteroid hurtles toward the earth it will ultimately destroy.  Seems like a good time to reassess your life, no?  Steve Carrell is Dodge, a hapless, morose guy whose wife bails out.  His young neighbor, Penny (Keira Knightley), breaks up with her boyfriend, and Dodge and Penny hit the road to find Dodge’s true love, his high school girlfriend, before the apocalypse.  This is an unusual road movie for sure, but, to me, it dragged on and on.  How long will it take before these two realize that they are meant for each other and that time is of the essence?  About 2 hours.  The ending is sweet, but getting there was a long, strange trip.  3 cans.

108.  The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone* (1961) — Karen Stone (Vivien Leigh) is an aging American actress whose wealthy husband dies of a sudden heart attack on their way to Rome following a failed Broadway show.  In Rome, the sad and lonely actress is introduced to Paolo, a handsome, much younger man (Warren Beatty, with a terrible Italian accent) whose “services” are booked by the Contessa (Lotte Lenya).  The lonely widow, ever so proper and afraid of what others may think of her, embarks on a relationship with the gigolo.  Beatty does his best James Dean, head cast downward, looking innocent yet calculating (probably adding up Mrs. Stone’s money in his otherwise empty head) as he enjoys the fruits of his “labor” — custom made clothes, dinners at the best restaurants, etc.  She clearly cares for him, but does he really want a woman more than twice his age?  The sad thing here is that Leigh herself was an aging actress by then.  In looking this movie up, I found another version with Helen Mirren and Oliver Martinez that I may just have to watch next.  3½ cans.

109.  The Hundred-Foot Journey* (2014) — Last month I saw “Chef,” another movie about food, and I was glad that I ate before I saw it.  The temptation of Helen Mirren, rapidly becoming one of my all-time favorite actresses, and food was irresistible.  Here she is Madame Mallory, the irascible owner of a hoity-toity restaurant in the French countryside who is dismayed when an Indian family builds a much less formal Indian place directly across the road in her tiny town.  She is the doyenne of diners, a celebrated restaurateur with a Michelin star to her credit.  But the Indian family has young chef Hassan (Manish Dayal), who has exactly what it takes to be an outstanding chef.  He also has a crusty and charming father (Om Puri) with whom Madame eventually builds a peaceful coexistence.  Meanwhile, Hassan strikes up a relationship with Marguerite (Charlotte Le Bon), who works for Madame and is no slouch in the kitchen herself.  This movie has no surprises, but, in the hands of director Lasse Halstrom, and with engaging performances by the key players, it offers a tasty treat.  3½ cans.

110.  Grand Central* (2014)  — This documentary tells the story of the rise, fall and rise again of Grand Central Terminal in New York, the largest train station in the world and one that was built over 100 years ago.  With tremendous foresight and planning, the building functions as well today as its creators originally envisioned.  Although Grand Central fell into disrepair in the 1970s, the New York power elite, mourning over the loss of the once great Penn Station, fought to save it.  People like Jacquelyn Kennedy Onassis, Bess Myerson and Mayor Ed Koch pushed not only to restore the beaux arts beauty to its grandeur.  Today it is a spectacular, thriving space where people eat, meet, greet and travel.  I love a happy ending.  3½ cans.

111.  Remember the Day (1941) — Way back before present day scandals involving unseemly relationships between teachers and students, it was possible to have a teacher demonstrate warmth and caring.  Here Claudette Colbert is Miss Trinell, an 8^th grade teacher whose young student, Dewey Roberts, has a crush on her.  They bond over his love of boats.  Also with a crush on Miss Trinell is Mr. Hopkins (John Payne), a fellow teacher who sweeps her off her feet.  It is scandalous for the two unmarried adults to consort with each other (this movie takes place in 1914), so one of them will pay the price.  We start the story as an elderly Miss Trinell goes to a rally for presidential candidate Dewey Roberts many years after their initial encounter, and flash back to that special time of growing up.  This is an endearing and sweet movie that could not be made today.  3½ cans.

112.  Wordplay (2006) — What is a 10-letter word for something that captivates the mind?  How about engrossing?  Will Shortz, The New York Times Crossword puzzle editor, is the creator of a national crossword championship, held every year in Connecticut, that attracts people who are crossword fanatics.  Leading up to the tournament, we meet many of the contestants as well as celebrities from President Bill Clinton to comedian Jon Stewart who are dedicated to the Times’ puzzle.  The contestants practice all year, timing themselves, and can complete a Monday or Tuesday puzzle in just a few minutes — in ink (the puzzles get progressively harder during the week).  People who enjoy language (and obscure words) and who like to solve problems are attracted to these puzzles.  We see how they are constructed (the puzzles, though we can see how the players are wired, too) and by whom.  I love language but my brain is not wired to do puzzles or even to play Scrabble all that well, so I can admire these intelligent people and their mastery.  4 cans.

113.  Longtime Companion (1990) — The timeline of movies about the AIDS epidemic begins with this drama, continues with 1993’s “And the Band Played On” and leads to the recent airing of HBO’s “The Normal Heart.”  These moving dramas have much in common, as they all portray groups of young men whose world is suddenly rocked by what is first characterized as a virus of unknown origin affecting gay men.  In this movie, as in the others, the group slowly diminishes in size as men lose their partners and friends to the dreaded disease.  Where the other movies work in the activism in the fight against AIDS, this one concentrates on the relationships between the men, with Bruce Davison in the lead.  Other actors include Campbell Scott and Dermot Mulroney.  Movies like this can never and will never have a happy ending until the disease is eradicated, but just seeing the fear of the people involved as they try to understand what is happening is very powerful.  3½ cans.

114.  Stayin’ Alive (1983) — Tony Manero (John Travolta) hauls out the white suit and the attitude in this sequel to “Saturday Night Fever” that was directed by Sylvester Stallone.  Tony has crossed the bridge from Brooklyn and now lives in a dumpy Manhattan hotel, where he auditions and gets rejected from plenty of Broadway shows in his quest to be a professional dancer.  He falls for the lead dancer in a new show, a haughty Brit played by Fionnola Hughes, who considers him beneath her in talent and social standing.  If the show in which they star opened on Broadway, it would close by intermission.  Stallone overstages and overpowers everything, dousing it liberally with Rockyesque music largely performed by his brother, Frank, with some BeeGees tunes thrown in for good measure.  The dance sequences are like boxing rounds.  This movie is like “Sharknado,” but at least in “Sharknado,” the players got the joke.  Here they don’t understand how preposterous the whole Broadway show is and play it straight.  Travolta, while he’ll never be a Broadway dancer, gamely tackles the whole thing with zero body fat and occasional flashes of the charming /angry guy we loved in the original.  “Barely Alive” might have been a better title.  1 can.