See You In September

Every now and then I hear myself shouting out an answer on “Jeopardy” and wondering how I knew it. These days, I’m shouting at the TV during "Jeopardy" for entirely different reasons.

I cleaned my humidifier this morning with vinegar and now my whole bathroom smells like salad dressing.

You know what is annoying? When I am yawning like crazy and I STILL can’t fall asleep. 

I buy the “executive turkey” at the deli counter because, well, you know, I used to be one. I’ll let you decide whether that means I used to be an executive or a turkey.

For someone who hasn’t been in school in nearly 50 years and who has no children or grandchildren, why am I still so tempted to buy school supplies when the displays go up? I’m not sure why I continue to have this fascination. A neighbor of mine was collecting school supplies for local kids, so I was able to shop for pens, pencils, markers, etc., and satisfy my craving for a good cause!

When I had acne as a teenager, doctors and the general consensus at the time said that I would outgrow it. I’m 70 now and wondering how old I have to be to outgrow it. Will I outlive it? 

As I ate a piece of French toast recently, I wondered whether someone in France was eating a piece of good old plain toast and condemning Americans for their poor taste in food.

It disappoints me that there is a warning label on the package of Tide Pods that tells people not to eat them. What makes us think that anyone stupid enough to eat them would be smart enough to read and heed the warning? And if this warning is for children, the ones who might eat the pods can’t read anyway.

I have to clean out my freezer (I’ll spare you the long and boring story) so eating a single-sized pizza and cracking open a box of coveted Girl Scout Thin Mints was really only to accomplish that goal. But I also realized that if I simply downsize my ridiculously large collection of ice packs, I can probably double my usable food storage space. I have more ice packs on hand than a physical therapy place!

In any case, I could use a professional organizer to study my refrigerator and my dishwasher and show me how to use the space more efficiently. The irony is that I don’t have much food around and I hardly ever use the dishwasher, though my BFF tells me all the time that I should!

My plan in August was to go peach picking with a friend, but the peach orchard was closed. So instead, we went to the farmers market where the orchard sells their peaches and I picked up two quarts. I guess you could say I picked them myself, but in reality, they were already in a bag. No bending and gathering the peaches this way, which was fine with me!

I’m such a sucker for gadgets. I found a sandwich maker branded “Nostalgia” on display for only $8.96, and I just HAD to buy it. It makes just one sandwich at a time (which is fine), and claims to be great with pre-fab cinnamon rolls, but so far I have only used it once, for a tuna melt. Listen, for $9 bucks, I can hardly BUY a sandwich, so this gizmo is really a bargain. I have it neatly stored next to the juicer I bought last year, alongside my food sealer. No comment!

Why are there so many insurance commercials? There’s my favorite – Flo from Progressive – along with the ubiquitous Geico gecko (and a thousand other Geico iterations), the emu from Liberty Mutual, the crew of Jake and the athletes who hawk State Farm, the not-just-for-farmers Farmers Insurance, USAA for military families (but not associated with the actual military), All-State and many more who regularly appear on TV to remind us to have insurance. I don’t use any of these companies. I’m sticking with low-key New Jersey Manufacturers, which only recently started to advertise and touts the fact that they don’t have a mascot or a jingle representing their brand. And they answer the phone every time I have a question or a problem. I don’t need a gecko with a British accent to sell me insurance!

I’m FINALLY back at aqua aerobics after a two-year break because of my shoulder injury (torn rotator cuff) and subsequent surgery and physical therapy as well as COVID. Not much has changed, except people who are not vaccinated must wear masks to the poolside. The pool water is still too cold so it takes me forever to get really wet. The paper towel holder in the bathroom – the kind you are supposed to run your hands over to get a towel dispensed – still randomly spits out a towel even if no one is in the vicinity. And the soap in the shower still smells like Stella D’Oro Breakfast Treats. It’s great to be back!

Speaking of the pool, I am taking aqua Zumba once a week and I really enjoy it, which only proves you don’t have to be good at something to have fun doing it. Sometimes I want to tell the instructor that the reason I couldn’t do a particular step is because the water got in my way. Let’s just say that it is a good thing this is a “no-cut” team, or I would have to find something else to do on Fridays!

My washing machine has a dozen different settings (sheets and towels, cold and hot, delicates, speed wash, etc.) for washing and several more for rinsing and spinning. I use two. What about you?

I have heard from so many people during the pandemic, people who reached out to see if I was safe, how I was managing through the lockdown and whether I had everything I needed. But who kept in touch best? Kohl’s. Nearly every day – or at least several times a week – they would send me emails encouraging me to shop, enticing me with special sales and offers, promising to bring whatever I bought right to my door. It’s nice to know they care, right? Now send me that Kohl’s cash!

As a huge sports fan, I always watch the US Open Tennis Tournament. Years ago, I attended the event regularly, back when it was held at Flushing Meadows and then when the USTA built the Billie Jean King Tennis Center on the site of the 1964 New York World’s Fair. This year I watched in awe as two young women, aged 18 & 19 respectively, both unranked, battled it out for the championship. Anna Raducanu of Great Britain beat Leylah Fernandez of Canada in straight sets. The next day Anna got a congratulatory message from Queen Elizabeth herself – signed “Elizabeth R.” Wow! I look forward to a great rivalry between these two talented young ladies. I hope they continue to grow and find joy in the sport without overextending themselves with endorsement deals and fashion shoots and other draining obligations. 

NY Governor Andrew Cuomo: From Hero to Zero. One year he is must-see TV with his Covid briefings. The next year the attorney general of NY finds in an investigation that he sexually harassed multiple, credible women and he finally resigns from office. I have no sympathy for his fall from grace. His wounds were self-inflicted. Let this be a lesson to all men: Your teasing and touching of women is unwanted and wrong. Why don’t you get that? Cuomo has daughters in their 20s. How would he react if they were treated the same way he treated other women?

Please get vaccinated. I did it for you.

I watched so much of the coverage of the 20th anniversary of 9/11, including several documentaries, and for some reason, this occasion rattled me more this year than ever. I woke up, watched, cried, threw up, watched some more, cried some more and I can’t believe it has been 20 years since we lost nearly 3000 poor souls in those acts of terrorism. Like everyone else, I remember that day clearly, what I was doing and how heartsick I felt for the families who lost loved ones. I still marvel at the thought of the police and firefighters who ran INTO the buildings to try to save people who were trapped. And I especially appreciate the outpouring of kindness people showed to each other – whether they were friends or strangers – on that fateful day and the days thereafter. I wish we would all put aside our personal, political beliefs and unify for the greater good.

Tina's August 2021 Movies & More

We can add another 15 movies, etc., to the 2021 list, including a few good ones and a few that are better left forgotten. Numbering picks up from previous months and programs marked with an asterisk* are ones I had not seen previously. Everything is rated on a scale of one to five cans of tuna, and more is better!

104.  Poms* (2019, Netflix) – When I think of Diane Keaton, I think of “Annie Hall,” or “As Good As It Gets” or “Reds.” I hope I don’t think of this trifle of a movie, trying its hardest to be a feel-good story about ladies in a senior community who form a cheerleading squad headed by the secretly dying Martha (Keaton). Of course, they are terrible; of course, there are mean people in the community who want to stop them; and of course, they rally in the end. There’s a good cast but a story that is a pastiche of elder cliches. And Keaton herself is a lousy cheerleader. I know many of my contemporaries found this movie to be cute and entertaining, and I’ll admit that it did get better in the second half, but overall, it was a waste of my time. 1½ cans.
105.  Otherhood* (2020, Netflix) – I miss the days when you could rely on Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers for a good rom-com or female empowerment movie. This one could have used them. When three old friends don’t hear from their sons on Mother’s Day, they decide to take matters into their own hands, leave their Poughkeepsie, NY, homes and invade Manhattan, where their sons live. Of course, not connecting with your mother on Mother’s Day is unforgivable, but these meddling mothers could drive any son crazy. Carol (Angela Bassett) is a widow, Gillian (Roseanna Arquette) is married and disapproves of her son’s girlfriend, and Helen (Felicity Huffman) has never quite forgiven her cheating husband – whom she divorced 11 years ago – even though she is married now to a genuinely nice man. So, the moms invade, move in, interfere, and wreak all kinds of havoc with their sons. I found it ironic that Huffman, who spent time in jail for her role in the college admissions scandal, would be in this kind of movie. This is a highly acclaimed cast. Too bad the material didn’t measure up to their talent. 3 cans.
106.  Lion in the House* (2006, Netflix) – This two-part, four-hour documentary focuses on several brave children suffering from cancer, on their families and on the heroic doctors of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital who try whatever measures they can to save them. The doctors and parents are constantly forced to question themselves about making the best decisions for their young patients. Will she be able to tolerate the side effects of chemotherapy? Should he be sent to the ICU? Should they have a Do Not Resuscitate order in the file? This poignant series isn’t cheery and doesn’t come with all happy endings, but it gave me a better perspective on the suffering, healing and loss experienced by the parents, families, hospital staff and the young patients. 3½ cans.
107.  All My Life* (2020, Prime Video) – This romantic drama, based on a true story, is about a young couple who meet, fall in love, move in together and try to keep the good times rolling when bad things happen. Jessica Rothe and Harry Shum Jr. (he appeared in TV’s “Glee” but mostly as a dancer with little dialog) are the attractive young couple, surrounded by devoted friends who try to support them in every possible way. Worth seeing. 3½ cans.
108. RESPECT* (2021, IN THE MOVIES, but now available streaming!) – My first time back in an actual movie theater since March, 2020, was to see the story of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, and I made a great choice! This movie is a full look at the life and music of Aretha, the importance of the church in her singing career, the influence of her pastor father, the men who done her wrong and the decision to record not in Detroit, at Motown, but to capture the special magic of Muscle Shoals, Alabama. The movie shows how long it took Aretha to move from underselling standards to a brand of soul that was all her own, with such hits as “Chain of Fools,” “You Better Think,” and so many more, including the title tune. Jennifer Hudson, tapped by Aretha herself to play the Queen in this movie, more than lives up to Aretha’s expectations with a wondrous performance. And then there is that VOICE! Aretha Franklin was a gift from God and Jennifer Hudson did her proud. Expect Oscar nominations. PS – Stick around for the credits to see Aretha herself sing “Natural Woman” from her salute to songwriter Carole King at the Kennedy Center Honors. If you don’t get goosebumps, you can’t be alive!
4½ cans.
109.  Here Today* (2021, rented on Demand) – Billy Crystal is Charlie, an aging comedy writer living on his own and starting to show signs of dementia. Tiffany Haddish is Emma, a struggling singer who comes into his life when her ex wins a lunch with Charlie at an auction and she takes it instead, despite not knowing who he is. Somehow, these two hit it off right away, bonding over her near-fatal reaction to eating seafood at their lunch. Confession: Tiffany Haddish is one of my favorite performers. She is brassy, hilarious and has great timing and facial expressions. The two form a friendship and she encourages him to get busy with the book he is struggling to write. I seldom rent movies, but for $5.99 – less than the cost of a ticket in the movies – this sweet and charming movie was a bargain. 3½ cans
110.  Small Town News: KPVM Pahrump* (2021, HBO/HBO Max) – If “WKRP in Cincinnati” and “News Radio” had a real-life TV baby, it would be this quirky 6-part documentary series (30 minutes a segment). Vern Van Winkle (seriously, you can’t make this stuff up) is the owner of a small TV station in the Podunk town of Pahrump, Nevada, about an hour and a lifetime away from Las Vegas. The small but dedicated staff multi-tasks responsibilities ranging from news director/editor/writer/camera operator to the very genial John, the weatherman, who dresses for business on the top with a suit and tie and shorts on the bottom when he’s not golfing with advertisers. The on-camera talent is inexperienced but happy to tackle local issues, and even to cover a political rally when a Trump son lands in town. Vern is eager to expand to the bigger Las Vegas market, and by the end of the six parts here, he is looking for space in Sin City. Stay tuned for season two of this endearing and odd little show. 3½ cans.
111.  Presumed Innocent (1990, HBO) – Our legal system is predicated on the assumption of innocence among the accused, but things look pretty grim for Rusty Sabich (Harrison Ford) when he is accused of murdering his former colleague and lover (Greta Sacchi). There’s a glass with his fingerprints found in her apartment and other incriminating evidence against Rusty, who is an assistant prosecutor caught up in a political situation that makes him vulnerable to prosecution. This movie, adapted from the Scott Turow novel, combines suspense, courtroom drama, a great cast (Bonnie Bedelia, Brian Dennehy, Raul Julia, Paul Winfield) and plenty of shocks along the way. Yes, it is 31 years old, but it still holds up well. 3½ cans.
112.  Liza with a Z (1972, PBS) – Liza Minelli delivers a powerhouse performance in this filmed stage show, knocking out great numbers from her signature role in “Cabaret” and a bunch of other songs that put her unique talent in the spotlight. With her huge, unblinking eyes, iconic short haircut and ability to prance, stomp and glide around the stage, she is magnetic. The unmistakable stamp of director/choreographer Bob Fosse is as prominent as Minelli herself in this fierce performance, one that I had not seen in many years. It aired as part of the PBS fundraising drive, so I don’t know whether it is something you can find and watch there or elsewhere again, but I’m glad I caught it. 4 cans and a lot of glitter.
113. 9 to 5, The Story of a Movement* (2021, Netflix) – Before Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton teamed up on the movie “9 to 5” in 1980, there was a movement that had started in Boston among office workers who found themselves overlooked and underpaid. A few of these women (and yes, they were all women) realized they had plenty in common. They all experienced or knew of women belittled by their bosses, not paid for overtime, paid less than men and having little opportunity for training and advancement. They teamed up and the 9 2 5 movement was born, starting in Boston but eventually spreading across the US. These were women who were fed up with bosses demanding they do everything from write personal letters, peel carrots for their lunch and one whose boss made her sew his pants – while he was wearing them. There are great interviews here with the organizers of this movement, who educated themselves about discrimination and how existing laws from the National Labor Relations Act could protect and assist them. It wasn’t an easy sell, as many feared reprisals. But for change to occur, someone always has to be the leader, be brave enough to buck the system, and these women were smart and ready to take a risk. Very interesting story and one that I did not know. 3½ cans.
114.  Golden: The Journey of USA’s Elite Gymnasts* (2021, Peacock) – Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be gymnasts! This 6-part documentary takes viewers behind the scenes to show the grueling life of America’s finest women gymnasts and their families as they prepared to compete in events leading up to what became the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. These amazing athletes start young, train incessantly, endure injuries, surgeries, rehab and physical therapy while under constant pressure to be perfect in everything they do. Among those featured are some whose names you know and others who didn’t make the USA Olympic team. Those athletes are left to ponder whether they want to start their non-gymnastics lives or dedicate three more years to making the team in 2024. The series largely omits Simone Biles, the face of USA gymnastics, focusing instead on the competitors who were not locks to make the team. Former USA team member Laurie Hernandez, a star in 2016 as a 16-year old, is now a young woman whose insights add to this program. The gravity defying feats of these athletes are balanced by the many times they literally fall flat on their faces in practice, in tryouts and sometimes in competition. Compelling stuff here. 4 cans.
115.  CODA* (2021, Apple TV+) – High school student Ruby Rossi (Emilia Jones) doesn’t have much in common with her classmates. At 3 AM, she is up and working with her deaf parents and brother on their finishing boat before she even heads for class, where is likely to be found asleep at her desk. She loves to sing, and she has talent, but as the only person in her family who is not deaf (CODA stands for “children of deaf adults), she is the person her family relies on to communicate with the world and help maintain their business. Jones gives an outstanding performance (and she sings well, too) as a young woman torn between fulfilling her own dreams and keeping her family business afloat. When she is signing for her hippy parents (Marlee Matlin and Troy Kotsur) and her stubborn brother (Daniel Durant), she brings incredible physicality to the part. Years ago, Matlin, who is excellent here, won the Oscar for her debut in “Children of a Lesser God.” I wonder if Jones will see a chance to do the same based on this fine performance. 4 cans.
116.  The Desk Set (1957, Movies Channel) – This film is one of the many Spencer Tracy-Katharine Hepburn classics, where they meet, dislike and distrust each other, then end up together. Written by Phoebe and Henry Ephron (parents of Nora), the story is about an efficiency expert (him) brought in to install a gigantic computer to help the all-female research department she heads, a group more than capable of answering questions from the mundane to the ridiculous with startling efficiency. Hepburn’s Bunny has been dating an exec of the TV network where they work for years, but he never seems ready to pop the question, leaving room for Tracy’s guy to win her heart. This rom-com shows what offices were like back in the 1950s, complete with dancing at office Christmas parties. Granted, this movie is not the best in the Tracy-Hepburn collection, but it holds a special place in my heart. My father once played the Tracy role in an off-off-off-Broadway production (local community theater), a completely out-of-character thing for him to do. Mind you, this was so long ago that although my genius sister had memorized the entire play and ran lines with him, she was still young enough to wonder if Daddy was leaving Mommy for a new wife at the end!  I wonder if she will remember that! Dad’s production gets 5 cans, of course, but the movie only scores 3½.
117.  The History of the Sitcom* (2021, CNN) – I could have written this one, with my devotion to and extensive knowledge of the shows in this category. This eight-part documentary takes us through the socially-relevant sitcoms (All in the Family, Good Times, Maude) to the family sitcoms, the work and Friends sitcoms, the fantasy shows (Mr. Ed, My Mother the Car), the rural sitcoms (Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies) and other classics. I was surprised how many shows I never watched, particularly more recent shows, but I attribute that lack of familiarity to the fact that I’m busy watching The Golden Girls reruns instead. Some of these shows reflected and changed our culture, while others provided just pure escapism (nobody can believe that the 7 people on Gilligan’s Island could do everything but make a raft to escape). My only quibble was the inclusion of The Love Boat and Eight is Enough and the exclusion of one of my all-time favorites, The Wonder Years. I just heard that The Munsters is getting a reboot, proving that everything old is new again. 4 cans.
118.  Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed* (2021, Netflix) – The iconic PBS artist Bob Ross is fondly remembered for teaching us all how to put happy little trees on canvas, completing a full landscape picture in just the 24-minute length of his TV show. His calm voice and positive attitude assured us all that we could be artists, too. But behind the canvas, things weren’t quite so sanguine, as Bob’s partners sought to control every aspect of the empire he built with his show, selling brushes and paints and conducting live art classes. Even when he was on his deathbed, dying from the cancer that they refused to inform people about, they tried to coerce his son into getting his father’s signature on a contract that would give them rights to his name in perpetuity. I think I would have been better off missing this story and remembering Bob as someone whose shows I keep on my DVR to help lull me to sleep. 3 cans of paint.