And the Gold Medal Goes to...August, 2008

If there were a gold medal for watching the Olympics, I’d be right up there in contention.

After being captivated by the opening ceremonies (“How did they do that?” ran through my head throughout the night), I got sucked in to all kinds of sports, from the usual swimming and gymnastics to basketball (natch, Rutgers’ former standout Cappie Pondexter plays on the women’s team), beach volleyball, etc.

Given this enormous amount of coverage and my availability to enjoy it all, I can’t help but make a few observations:

So far, I have watched bits and pieces of men’s and women’s tennis (American James Blake upset Roger Federer!), gymnastics, soccer, beach and team volleyball, team handball, men’s water polo, men’s weightlifting, men’s and women’s swimming and basketball, men’s and women’s field hockey, various track and field events, men’s synchronized diving (that’s a sport, but the Olympics is dropping baseball and softball? I don’t get that at all), and hardball with Chris Matthews. Oops, I just left MSNBC on a little too long on the latter. Actually, over the entire Olympics, I watched everything except equestrian events and the so-called sports of rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming. Unless Harry Shearer and Martin Short are in the latter, it’s just not worth watching. The powers that be are eliminating softball and baseball but keeping these “sports?” Please!

How on earth do those swimmers get into those bathing suits? I thought it was amazing that the women with long hair could tuck it under a bathing cap, but to see the bodies of the men and women shoehorned into those full-length Speedos is impressive indeed. But let’s face it – making Michael Phelps go faster is less impressive than, say, getting me to go faster in one of those suits. Or just getting me into one of those suits, for that matter.

How on earth do those beach volleyball players cover so much ground? I mean, they play on sand, don’t they? Maybe it’s easier to move on sand if you aren’t lugging a beach chair, an umbrella and a day’s worth of refreshments, but still…

Speaking of beach volleyball, could the “uniforms” worn by the women be any scantier? I’ve blown my nose in larger swatches of fabric.

I am sure that NBC, in its billion hours of TV coverage, at one point explained why one team volleyball player wears a different uniform than the rest of the team. Did someone forget his uniform? See what happens when the moms aren’t around to check up on their athletes?

In the first few days, was there anything better to see than Michael Phelps’ reaction to his 200 freestyle relay team’s record-breaking performance? I know he is on track to win eight gold medals, but he was so excited for the team that it looked like his first ever win. That’s what I call teamwork.

Looking at these athletes and their finely-honed physiques makes me realize that they look they way people are supposed to look, without their mid-sections covered in a protective layer of fat. An anatomy class could study Michael Phelps’ body and point out each distinct muscle group. (Sitting in the recliner watching all this isn’t helping my body a bit.)

How do those male divers keep those teeny tiny bathing suits on when they hit the water? Some things shouldn’t be shown live, if you get my drift.

It is day five and I have already lost count of Michael Phelps’ gold medal count. But good for him.

Announcers have commented several times about Michael Phelps’ 12,000 calorie a day diet. Big deal – so’s mine. Only my doctor isn’t quite so thrilled.

TV commentators also noted that the Chinese gymnasts are selected at age three and sent off to train, leaving their families (a few looked like that was only 10 years ago…). Thank goodness that doesn’t happen here, or I am sure I would have been chosen and whisked away from my family, thereby changing my entire personal history. Back then I knew how to do a somersault and hadn’t yet discover Hershey bars. Talk about life-changing…

Speaking of which – some of these athletes train for years and then get 10 seconds or less of competition to show what they can do. Miss out on a medal or falter even slightly and it’s either four more years or it’s done. Unless you are Dara Torres, that is. Ask pool Lolo Jones how she feels after leading her race until she hit the next to last hurdle, finishing seventh. Heartbreaking.

One more thing about the poster boy for this Olympics, Michael Phelps. I caught a video of former Rutgers running back and now Baltimore Ravens’ running back Ray Rice saluting Phelps. Kobe and LeBron were seen cheering in the stands as Michael took home his record-setting eighth gold medal. His achievements are stunning, and no less than his ability to interest professional athletes and the nation in a sport most of us pay attention to only once every four years. Way to go, Michael Phelps.

It is going to take more than 10 minutes worth of viewing fencing every four years for me to understand the sport and its scoring. So far, it looks like two bee keepers going at each other with really long kitchen knives.

I watched the women’s marathon, an event that always amazes me. After a grueling 26-mile race, the Romanian winner took a victory lap. And another, and another. Other runners kept entering the stadium to finish the race, and she could be seen in the background, joyfully running around the track with her flag in hand. Can someone please tell her it’s OK to stop now? I expect to see her still running in the background as they show the closing ceremonies.

Today’s schedule included the women’s triathlon. What I don’t get is how these women get out of the water, dripping wet, jump on a bike to race and then put on their cycling shoes. How do you start to ride, still wet, and then put on shoes? If there was a time trial just for putting on the shoes, I’m sure I’d come in last.

In the “that’s using your head” category, I nominate the ping pong players. My Favorite Sister and I watched the singles and doubles and could swear the players served with their heads, not their paddles. We even paused the action and watched frame by frame (a bit too much time on our hands, you say?) but couldn’t tell if a paddle was used. I’m not sure I could compete with these people. Unless the table is in the basement with the sump pump hole looming dangerously nearby, the setting just wouldn’t seen right to me.

For many reasons, I am glad I am not a diver. First, you have those tiny towels to dry your hair. Then, one can only hope that there is an elevator to get them up to the top of the platform. There must be one, or the divers would be exhausted after two dives. And finally, diving commentator Cynthia Potter, a former Olympian herself, is one tough critic. She watches these tiny bodies twisting and turning in the air, going God knows how fast, and finds fault with them (toes were flat, legs were apart, she went over, he went under…). If she were a movie critic, every movie would close after week one.

The women’s basketball team won its final game today, and I am thrilled to see Rutgers’ own Cappie Pondexter with the gold medal around her neck. Having seen almost all members of the USA team play in person vs. Rutgers or in tournaments, I know the talent level of the players, but you never know. This team was good as gold.

The US track team needs a lot of practice passing that stupid baton. Why is that even necessary? It seems like an antiquated exercise to me since the presence of cameras and technology could certainly assure that no one leaves prematurely. Drop the baton, I say! Oops, maybe they took that too literally.

Usian “Lightning” Bolt. WOW! That man can run. He’s like Michael Phelps on the track – only faster. And how cool are those cameras that run on tracks along side to give us a close-up view of the races?

This is supposed to be the “green Olympics,” right? I sure hope someone is gathering up all those water bottles the marathon runners discard as they run.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning (not intentionally), TV still on, and happily, so was the gold medal men’s basketball game. Of course I couldn’t turn it off, so I got to see the happy millionaires who make up the USA team run around like little kids, celebrating their hard fought gold medal. There’s nothing like setting a goal and achieving it, all while playing a game you love and representing your country. Or at least that’s what Bob Costas would say.

I just finished watching the closing ceremonies. Those folks in China have proven that with billions of dollars and bodies, you can put on quite a show – people flying around the stadium, towers growing out of the ground, people depicting the Olympic flame. Very cool. You have to hand it to them. The country produced wonderful ceremonies, outstanding facilities (as seen from my recliner; I’ll miss the Water Cube and the Bird’s Nest) and equally outstanding performances by its athletes. With a state-supported system, expect to see many more Chinese athletes getting the gold in 2012. And maybe some of their female gymnasts will actually be old enough to compete then (sorry, couldn’t help it).

After all this TV watching in the past two weeks, I have just one question for next week: What’s on?