Tina's January 2016 Movies

Here we go for another year of watching movies new and old.  Numbering will continue throughout the year.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating.  Movies marked with an asterisk are ones I have not seen previously.

1.  Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine* (2015) – Documentary maker Alex Gibney delves into the life and success for the legendary Steve Jobs, the man behind Apple.  A genius of design and desire, Jobs was able to define consumer needs and create products we never imagined and now cannot live without.  Think Mac computers, the iPhone and the iPad.  In his two stints at Apple – first creating the company along with buddy Steve Wozniak, and later returning as CEO after being ousted by his hand-picked successor – Jobs delivered the goods and was considered God-like by many consumers who flocked to hear him speak or camped out to be the first to buy an Apple product.  But Jobs was not all he tried to portray.  He fathered a daughter whom he denied was his, claiming infertility in court papers (proven wrong by a paternity test).  He eschewed philanthropy and didn’t hesitate to bully employees and industry peers to get his way – and his cut of the money.  But there is no denying that he is at least partially responsible for creating the personal computer and his fertile mind gave life to many iterations of new consumer electronics that affect the way we live.  His impact will live on and probably grow in size as there will likely be no one who can take his place.  4 cans.
2. The Big Short* (2015) – Although it took two trips to the theater to see this movie (my first trip was interrupted by a fire alarm and I didn’t go back until 3 days later), and despite the fact that the topic here was the crash in the mortgage industry that nearly decimated the American economy, still, I found this unlikely source of theatrical entertainment a powerful yet amusing mélange of characters and financial folderol.  Just a few very smart, very analytical people foresaw the inevitable crisis in a mortgage market that was built on a house of cards – people financing homes with little down and little chance to pay off their easily acquired mortgages and betting that the housing boom would continue.  These guys bet against it, or shorted it, and eventually, they were proven prescient.  Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling (be still my heart) and Brad Pitt star as the financial movers and shakers.  I don’t know who decides that a movie about an arcane economic issue should be made – and considered, at least according to the Golden Globes, a comedy – but this is a good story, well told.  Put me down for 3½ cans. 
3.  Selena* (1997) – Selena was a very popular Mexican-American singer bursting with talent and personality who started singing professionally in her family’s band.  After years of working county fairs and less than exciting venues, she finally hit it big and gained immense popularity, until she was tragically shot and killed by the president of her fan club, who was stealing money from her.  Jennifer Lopez brings plenty of energy, charm and talent to the role of the appealing Selena, and, despite the fact that this is a true story and we know how it ends, it was jarring when the tragedy unfolded.  I probably would not have selected this film to see, but it was highly recommended by a friend who loves it.  I can’t say I share her enthusiasm, but I am glad I saw it.  3 cans.
4.  Broadcast News (1987) – Producer/director James L. Brooks is behind some of my favorite movies and TV shows, among them the classic Mary Tyler Moore sitcom and the unforgettable “Terms of Endearment.”  Here he helms the story of one brilliant and feisty TV news producer, Jane (Holly Hunter), who becomes entrapped in a love triangle with solid writer and sardonic wit Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks) and a handsome but vapid news anchor anointed for success by network honchoes, Tom Grunick (William Hurt).  Tom arrives in the Washington Bureau bereft of the gravitas needed to anchor, but his appearance – he looks the part of an anchorman – more than makes up for his lack of experience.  With Jane leading him through a news crisis, he looks like he will succeed in the anchor chair and in winning her heart, despite the fact that she is better suited for the intelligence of Aaron.  Jane has to be in control – she even dictates to DC cab drivers exactly the route she wants them to drive – but she lets her heart almost get in the way of her head.  This movie skewers the news, the values we place on style vs. substance and the running of a news operation.  Holly Hunter even without the others is worth watching, and she has two great co-stars.  4½ cans.
5.  50 Shades of Grey* (2015) – Where do I begin to describe this inane, tortured and thoroughly unentertaining look at a man and his obsessions and a young woman torn between self-respect and fulfilling his every need?  All I know is that lead actress Dakota Johnson must have very embarrassed parents (actors Melanie Griffiths and Don Johnson) if they watched her -- mostly naked and always compromised -- in this awful film version of the book (which I never read).  Jamie Dornan plays billionaire Christian Grey (a man with major mommy issues) in a way that could not be colder or more boring.  Lots of sex, nudity and stuff I don’t even want to describe.  Let’s just say I won’t be watching any possible sequels.  1 can. 
6.  Trophy Kids* (2013) – Watching this HBO documentary on parents obsessed with their kids’ athletic development reminded me of reading tennis great Andre Agassi’s book, where he declares his hatred of his sport.  Badgered and abused by his father, Agassi did go on to excel in his sport, but the kids in this movie are too young for us to know how they eventually will fare.  The film follows two high school freshmen male basketball players, a football player, twin boys who play tennis, and a young girl who plays golf.  All but the tennis twins are subjected to threats, cruelty and verbal abuse by their fathers, all of whom are pushing, pushing, pushing them to excel – even when the athletes themselves seem to have little interest in their sport beyond wanting to please their fathers.  The tennis twins are being raised by their very Zen-like mother, who wants them to “fulfill their essence,” but the other kids are subjected to extra practices at dawn, provided with coaches and trainers, all, it would seem, in an effort to fulfill their parents’ vision of sports careers.  The fathers fancy themselves as experts in the chosen sport and take on the role of erstwhile coach – and bully.  The basketball fathers are particularly distasteful, verbally abusing officials, and, in one case, lobbying to get the coach fired because his kid didn’t play enough.  None of the kids are asked their preferences or whether they want to continue to play.  These parents should be banned from ever having children.  3½ cans (of tennis balls?).
7.  Still Alice (2014) – Julianne Moore won an Oscar for Best Actress last year for her portrayal of the title character in this sobering story of a woman diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s.  Alice is an intelligent, charming woman, a linguistics professor at Columbia University, living in New York with her husband and enjoying her life.  Only 50, she is disturbed when she notices a tendency to forget things, and she goes to a neurologist who diagnoses her.  Moore shows every nuance of a vibrant woman who is perplexed, disappointed and confused as she becomes someone she doesn’t recognize.  Alec Baldwin plays her husband, who is also affected deeply by watching his wife deteriorate.  This is not a happy tale, but it certainly sheds light on this horrible disease.  Moore is perfection.  4 ½ cans.
8.  Waitress (2007) – Being a waitress isn’t an easy job, and it is especially hard if you live with an abusive husband who is ready to pounce at any moment.  Keri Russell is Jenna, baker of pies for Joe’s Pie House (and diner) and one of three waitresses there.  She is furious to find out that she is pregnant by her nasty husband Earle (Jeremy Sisto) and falls into a physical relationship with her OB/GYN (Nathan Fillion).  Will she ever serve up the guts to kick her husband out?  Will she keep the baby?  Will she win the pie-baking contest?  This movie is destined for Broadway next season – as a musical – but I wasn’t so thrilled with my second serving of it.  3 cans and a slice of any of the luscious looking pies that co-star. 
9.  The Longest Ride* (2015) – You can count on Nicholas Sparks to deliver the goods in each of the adaptations of his romantic novels.  There are always attractive, white people who are star-crossed lovers, there’s always a scene in the rain or water, and the action – such as it is – takes place in his home territory of North Carolina.  Here, handsome and rugged Scott Eastwood (yes, son of Clint, but better looking) is Luke, a bull-riding cowboy who wants to make enough money to pay off his mother’s ranch despite the risks or his profession.  He meets college student Sophia (Britt Robertson), who is studying art and about to head to New York to pursue her career.  They save an elderly man, Ira (Alan Alda) after he crashes his car and both strike up a friendship with Ira.  Another Sparks device is to have parallel stories about the characters.  In this case, Ira has a treasure trove of letters he wrote to his now-deceased wife, revealing their courtship, marriage and tribulations.  In typical Sparks fashion, everything will eventually be resolved, but there are obstacles to overcome even as love abounds.  Not a terrible movie, but on a scale of “The Notebook” being the best Sparks, this one finishes far behind.  3 cans.
10.  Whiplash (2014) – Talk about intense!  Andy (Miles Teller) is an aspiring jazz drummer who is enrolled in a prestigious New York music school where the band instructor is the intimidating Fletcher (J. K. Simmons, who won Best Supporting Actor in last year’s Oscars and told everyone to talk to their parents; nicely done, sir).  We have all seen movies where the teacher/coach pushes the students to make them achieve their full potential, but this maniacal musician is a bully and tyrant.  He is less interested in them as people and more interested in achieving his own brand of perfection.  Andy is a dedicated student, one who practices on the drums until his hands bleed, and who crawls out from under a car to get to a concert and play while battered and bruised.  But nothing, no amount of effort, is enough to satisfy the tyrannical Fletcher.  I don’t want to give away the plot, but in the end, Andy shows he’s got the right stuff. I wasn’t familiar with Miles Teller before this movie and wondered if he was a musician.  I don’t know much about music, but the speed with which he moves his hands to play the drums to the tempo dictated by the relentless instructor is truly astonishing.  When I first saw this movie, I considered it among the best of the year and I have not changed my mind.  4½ cans.
11.  The Young Philadelphians (1959) – Two words:  Paul Newman.  A young, handsome Paul Newman plays Anthony Judson Lawrence, born into Philadelphia society and determined to earn his way to the top.  If that means postponing his wedding to society deb Joan (Barbara Rush) so that her father can finance his education, he can make that deal.  But as he grows in stature as a lawyer, how many compromises is he willing to make?  Newman is dashing and gorgeous, and he could tell me “Don’t pump it, floor it,” anytime, whether or not it had anything to do with cars.  4 cans.
12.  An Affair to Remember (1957) – Forget Christian Grey and his whips and chains.  If you want to see a real man who can turn you on, check out Cary Grant in a suit or a tux.  Grants plays Nicky Ferrante, erstwhile artist and reformed playboy, who meets the lovely singer Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr) on a transatlantic cruise.  While their flirting is full-on, we never see more than a few fervent kisses.  Because they are both involved with others, the pair agrees to wait six months and meet at the top of the Empire State Building to see if they can have a future together.  Alas, a tragic event prevents them from getting together.  Is there a woman alive over 40 who has never seen this classic weepie?  Grant is totally handsome and appealing, and Kerr oozes charm and quiet resolve.  And the scene where they visit his grandmother (Cathleen Nesbitt, in a small but memorable part) is unforgettable.  This is a Movie to Remember. If for some strange reason you DON’T like/love this movie, please don’t tell me because we cannot possibly be friends.  4½ cans.

Last. Dead Last.

The good news is that we finished.  I have the ribbon to prove it.  The bad news is that I came in last. Absolutely last.  Roll up the sidewalks and shut down the timer last.

Every year for the past 4 years my sister Nancy and I have participated in the New Year’s Day “Resolution Run” in Hillsborough, a 5K run/walk “race” that meanders through the streets of a development adjacent to the Municipal Building.  We layer up – after all, January 1 is customarily COLD – eventually putting on the heavy, nice sweatshirts provided to all entrants, and we line up outside ready to walk.  

Here I should say that walking is a typical activity for each of us.  We both walk often.  In the summer, Nancy walks before work, at lunchtime and, when the days are long enough, she’ll hit the streets for an evening stroll.  I walk, too, though not as often as she does.  But the idea of doing this activity together and starting the year off right was appealing to both of us, so we signed up.

Not that I had high hopes, because, in year one, I finished dead last.  In the next two years, I managed to lower my time a bit, trying to finish in under one hour.  In 2015 I made it by seconds.  That year we finished ahead of the lady with the hula hoop.  Not the lady who comes every year and hoops her way through Hillsborough (who didn’t show up this time around), but the lady with the hula hoop whose husband owns the local ice cream shop.  We were determined to finish ahead of her last year, and we did.  There was an older couple walking behind us, but I was convinced they had a finishing kick, so we rallied to stay ahead of them.

But this year, no such luck.  

The runners, of course, immediately passed us.  By the time we finish, I picture them at home, munching on a protein bar and watching the Rose Parade on TV.  But even the walkers had what I’ll call a leg up on us, and soon we were at the back of the pack.  As everyone passed us, only a very large man trailed us, and he huffed and puffed his way behind us for the first mile.  Since he didn’t keel over, he became bolder and passed us.  And we let him go.

As you walk this 3.2 mile race, the people in the neighborhood come out to greet you, cheer for you, sound cow bells and encourage you.  Not that we don’t appreciate that, but we let them know that their duties have ended when we pass, since we bring up the rear.

Maybe it’s the layering?  

We saw plenty of people in shorts, many in those thin-looking pants they wear for yoga and workouts.  Several not only didn’t wear coats, they wore t-shirts in 40-degree and windy weather (not so windy, but windy enough).  I actually saw goosebumps on the arms of one guy at the starting blocks.  Clearly, he did not have Sylvia Gordon as his mother.  I can still hear her admonish us, “Wear a hat!”  My mother would look out the window and declare the temperature cold.  She made me wear a coat over my Halloween costume!  We always were forced to wear enough layers that the only possible snow activity was to make snow angels.  

We learned our lessons well.  My sister wore 4 layers this year.  I had on long johns under my heaviest sweatpants, one of those long-sleeve dry-fit shirts, a fleece top, a sweatshirt and a jacket.  You couldn’t even see my official number until I unzipped the jacket.  This year we did not need the hand warmers, but my sister – who typically eschews all forms of headwear – broke out the fleece headband.  I donned my official winter walking hat, a 2006 Torino Winter Olympics model issued by Johnson & Johnson.  I particularly favor this one because it has flaps for my ears.  I have been known to put in my headphones, put down the flaps and add earmuffs for the glamourous look I’m after.  Picture it with a hooded sweatshirt and scarf and you’ll get the picture.

So maybe the layering slowed us down.

My sister, who is maybe an inch taller than I am and in much better shape, was perplexed as to why we were last and why we couldn’t move faster.  Usually we look for the sure bets.  One year we saw a woman fall down in the parking lot on the way to registration and we set our sights on beating her.  She passed us.  Another year a man was pushing a baby carriage, and once a father carried his son on his shoulders.

They beat us, too.

But don’t feel sorry for us.  Feel sorry for the people who would like to participate but can’t.  Or those people who won’t try, or who have given up.  We haven’t.  

My contention is this – at least I am doing this.  Before I joined Weight Watchers in 2011, my idea of exercise was getting off the couch and walking to the kitchen for a snack.  At least I am outside, getting some exercise, and exposing about 6 square inches of my body to the sun’s rays for that much-needed Vitamin D.  

For my sister and me, it is just a day when we get to take a walk together, when we can exchange mind-numbingly boring chatter and catch up.  It isn’t about time or speed or beating someone.  It is about starting the new year off right.

So why is she already telling me I had better start training for next year because I am holding her back?  Because she is determined for us NOT to finish last again.  

To help assure that the results will be better, I have embarked on a new campaign of walking by joining a walking class at the Clubhouse in my community.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays you can find me in the ballroom (the snazziest “gym” I have ever seen) watching a DVD exercise program led by the relentlessly cheery walking DVD guru, Leslie Sansone.

Leslie and her cohorts walk, side step, jog, power walk – all inside – for 30-60 minutes, during which time she encourages, cajoles, instructs and talks her way through a series of exercises designed to keep you moving.  She chirps away her instructions without ever getting short of breath – which would be a fatal flaw in an exercise instructor, I suppose.  She talks directly to the audience, almost making me believe she can see me, although if she could, she probably wouldn’t be all that cheery.  She is surrounded by people of all sizes and ages, all of whom look strangely thrilled to be seen in public in their workout clothes.  Some really power through the workout, while some go through the routine moderately.  My heroes.  

Following along with Leslie and co., I realize how uncoordinated I really am.  Move my arms and my legs?  I’m not sure they operate that way.  I am likely to trip over the carpet or knock myself out.  Kick AND reach up?  Whoa, that sounds like a dance routine.  I shudder to think of me attempting Zumba without medical professionals on high alert.

But the point is, I am walking, and working.  After all, Oprah says she could have her best body yet this year, so why not?  

And maybe, just maybe, at the 2017 Resolution Run, my sister and I will NOT finish last.  Dead last.