Extra Credit

I want extra credit. You know, on my permanent record.

Here's how it works:

Every time I drive past a police car and my cell phone is off and in my handbag, my earpiece tucked away and my hands on the steering wheel at the 10 and 2 position, I want extra credit. That way, if a cop thinks I ran a red light (which I am sure I would never do) or if can’t find the earpiece and use the phone anyway, the cop will say, “Last Tuesday your phone was off, so we won’t give you a ticket today because you have extra credit,” or something like that. Come on, there are cameras at all the intersections now so surely they must know the many times that I am not on the phone, that I can barely text even when not in a moving vehicle and that I typically don’t run even yellow lights.

If I yield for a pedestrian or stop at the mere hint of a yellow light, I want extra credit. The extra credit doesn’t have to be tit for tat, so to speak. If I am especially pleasant to the woman at the desk at the Motor Vehicle office or Social Security (yes, it has come to that, or will, soon), that act of kindness should carry over to an airline upgrading my ticket to First Class. Shouldn’t my congenial behavior be counted for something?

If I brush my teeth a few extra times a week, shouldn’t that preclude the hygienist from even asking me the dreaded “Are you flossing?” question? If I go to the doctor and haven’t gained weight, shouldn’t she be pleased with that? Once I lost 12 pounds, after not having gained any weight the last time, but she was less impressed with the loss than she had been with the status quo of the previous visit. So much for extra credit there.

If I am in Macy’s for a sale (and that could be basically any day) and I don’t have one of the many coupons I rip out and forget to take with me for an additional 20%, shouldn’t the cashier say, “Sure, we’ll just give you the coupon even though it is sitting on your kitchen table,” just because I have spent so much money there that my charge card says I am a member of the President’s Club (even if I have missed all the meetings)? And if I don’t use all of the gift wrapping services Macy’s offers to me as one of their most valuable customers, shouldn’t I be able to drop off all my Christmas presents and have Macy’s wrap them? Now that would be extra extra credit.

For all the volunteer work I do, my extra credit should work in my favor by letting me be at the gas station the day before they raise the prices, not the day after (funny how I never time that quite right). If I donate to the Rescue Squad, I should get all the green lights when I am in a hurry. When I am driving in the convertible with the top down, it should never start to rain because last week I rewrote someone’s resume. And since I contributed to a food drive, doesn’t that mean I should be in the fastest lane at the supermarket, or that someone should insist I go through the “About 20 Items” line even though I may have just a few more items in my cart (I always feel guilty if I have more stuff)? Are you getting the way I think this extra credit thing should work?

I’m not talking entitlement here, because that would imply that I didn’t do anything to deserve something. We all know karma can be a bitch, but I am going for the opposite of that. If I am good and do the right thing, shouldn’t I reap some benefits? It’s more of an indirect quid pro quo situation. I am merely looking to achieve the converse of one of my favorite sayings – “No good deed goes unpunished.” I just want extra credit for all the good things, all the right things, that I do, which should get me something special. Some extra credit, on my permanent record. Whatever that is.

Tina's November Movies

This month I recommend "Waiting for Superman" and "Public Speaking," two interesting documentaries. Superman is no longer around but PS is on HBO, so you can still see it. Numbering here picks up from last month.

NOVEMBER
112. 500 Days of Summer (HBO) – Joseph Gordon Levitt (of the TV sitcom “3rd Rock From the Sun”) is greeting card writer and would-be architect Tom Hansen, aspiring to be the boyfriend of Summer (Zooey Deschanel). The film follows their courtship with looks at randomly significant days in the relationship in no chronological order. Though Summer tells Tom early on that she doesn’t believe in relationships and isn’t looking for a boyfriend, he is too smitten not to believe she is his soulmate, and he spends the next 500 days in agony and ecstasy as their love fluctuates from friendship to coupledom to breakup. His joy is best displayed in an exuberant dance in the streets to Hall & Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True,” but alas, she doesn’t, really. Still, fate, destiny, call it what you like, Tom can’t help but believe. I believe this is one adorable movie, and it actually includes the last scene in my all-time favorite movie, “The Graduate,” so how can I help but be smitten myself? 4 cans.
113. Gypsy (TV) – Rosalind Russell plays the mother of all stage mothers in this musical about the life and times of stripper Gypsy Rose Lee. Lee started out as Louise, the less talented older sister in a vaudeville act orchestrated by Mama Rose, a woman so hell-bent on making a star out of “Baby June” that she would do just about anything to push the act. Eventually June takes off, leaving Mama with the bland and quiet Louise, played by a young Natalie Wood. Louise only comes into her own when she finally pursues a slightly different path in show biz. Plenty of songs here, including “Everything’s Coming Up Roses,” despite having no one who can actually sing (Russell, Wood and Karl Malden). Just be glad Rose isn’t your mama. 3½ cans.
114. Run For Your Life (TV) – This documentary focuses on Fred Leebow, the running enthusiast who created and ran (literally) the New York Marathon from the late 60s into the 1990s. With a mission of establishing running as a top sport, Leebow founded the New York Road Runners and created the NY Marathon – first in Central Park and later on a course running through all five boroughs. A master promoter, Leebow was responsible for turning a leisure activity into a cultural phenomenon, along the way pioneering the use of sponsorships and professional athletes who competed along with ordinary runners. The movie does a good job of explaining how Leebow, a transplanted Romanian who left home at 14, became the king of the marathon. 3½ cans.
115. The Fabulous Baker Boys (TV) – Before he was a broken down country singer in “Crazy Heart,” Jeff Bridges was a broken down piano player, half of the more drab than fab Baker brothers, starring alongside real big bro Beau. Beau’s Frank is all business, where little brother Jack barely shows up to hold up his half of the act. When down on her own luck singer Michelle Pfeiffer arrives to class up the lounge act, will she awaken his true “Feelings?” The look of the movie seems very dated, from Pfeiffer’s clothes and make-up to the sorry songs they make her sing, but that is part of the gig. 3½ cans.
116. Waiting for Superman (@Montgomery with Dee) – Even Superman is not enough to save the educational system in the U.S. As this documentary points out, it’s not all about money; we spend more to house prisoners for the average 4-year sentence than we do for 12 years of education per student. But by every measure – reading and math scores, percentage of dropouts, percentage of students who attend college – the U.S. is slipping further behind other developed nations, making our ability to fill jobs and grow the economy precarious at best. We have not only jeopardized our future as a nation, but, by allowing the future of individual students to rest on what amounts to the luck of the draw as they vie for precious spots in better schools, the system fails them every day. The solid gains recorded by good teachers in better schools cannot possibly make up for the hordes of truly bad, disinterested teachers still leading classes or, worse, who are flagged for the “rubber room,” waiting for hearings and drawing full pay and benefits. Washington, D.C., schools chancellor Michelle Rhee is portrayed as the visionary administrator ready to make the hard choices, but she has to face union leader Randi Weingarten, here playing the role of Cruella DeVille. This is a riveting and infuriating story, humanized by the young students and their families who yearn for a good education and the promise of a bright future. 4½ cans.
117. Morning Glory (@Montgomery with Dee & Sheila) – When Rachel McAdams (“The Notebook”), the manic executive producer of a schlocky morning TV show at a dinky NJ station, is squeezed out because of a budget crunch, she lands a network job – big-time! – but at another schlocky morning TV show at a bottom-rated network. Like Holly Hunter in the wonderful “Broadcast News,” she has a knack for knowing how to do her job better than anyone else. She fires Diane Keaton’s co-anchor and installs a dour, irascible Harrison Ford, fired from the network’s news operation but contractually bound to work for the network, as his replacement. Like “Broadcast News,” this movie touches on the integrity of news, but McAdams is all about the ratings, and hijinks ensue. McAdams is adorable in that Anne Hathaway in “The Devil Wears Prada” way and Ford is a great parody of those so very serious network news icons. You can see the jokes coming, but you laugh anyway. 4 cans.
118. Arthur (TV) – Dudley Moore plays millionaire Arthur, a man-child with a manservant (Sir John Gielgud) who is caught between the moon and New York City in this delightful comedy. Overindulged and overindulging, the diminutive drunk is supposed to marry snobby Susan when he meets waitress/tie thief Liza Minnelli and immediately falls for her, despite her more down to earth background. Arthur is short on stature but long on charm, and not immune to her penchant for poverty. The best scenes in the movie are between Moore and Gielgud as the devoted Hobson, his sardonic butler, best friend and pseudo-father. Except for the drinking while driving scenes, this movie is too cute not to enjoy and Moore plays it to perfection. 4 cans.
119. Public Speaking (HBO) – If the Algonquin Roundtable existed today, Fran Leibowitz would be sitting in Dorothy Parker’s seat. Martin Scorsese directed this documentary about Leibowitz, the social critic and author (“Metropolitan Life”) whose views on race, gender and social mores are bemused condemnations of society. The self-described fifth best cellist in her five-cello school orchestra, Leibowitz decries the slipping societal standards faced by each generation. For example, everyone should not become an author, she asserts, because there are too many books written by too many people with too little to say. She’s clearly not one of those writers, and, in fact, hasn’t published nearly enough to share her wit and wisdom with those who might appreciate it. If you like Leibowitz, you’ll love this film. 4 cans.
120. The Princess Diaries (TV) – Once upon a time, director Garry Marshall made “Pretty Woman,” a much better movie about a hooker turned lady, complete with erstwhile prince on a white horse. This time he has Anne Hathaway as a 15-year old (defying credibility) whose prince of a father dies, making her the princess of Jenovia (which I am pretty sure is a drug I took once for an infection or something). Julie Andrews is her grandmother, the haughty queen, who, with the help of stalwart Hector Elizondo (playing essentially the same role here as in “Pretty Woman”), plucks her eyebrows and turns her from invisible schoolgirl into a lady of sorts. This is cute, light, nearly weightless entertainment, trivial yet entertaining, that I am glad I didn’t pay money to see in a theater. 3 cans.
121. A Star Is Born (TCM) – Finally. I finally sat through this overly long and dramatic version, starring James Mason as Norman Maine, a big movie star with a drinking problem, and the uniquely talented Judy Garland as aspiring singer/star Esther Blodgett (“I am Mrs. Norman Maine!”), whose star ascends as Maine's sinks. Over-produced with production numbers that interrupt the dramatic flow and a strange series of stills that replace live action, this is nonetheless the classic Hollywood story of the price of stardom and the evils of drink. I actually like the Barbra Streisand/Kris Kristofferson version better. 3½ cans.
122. Leap Year (HBO) – Anna from Boston (Amy Adams) is on her way to Ireland to propose to her cardiologist boyfriend on February 29, a tradition in which the lad must say yes, when weather forces her plane to land in Wales. What follows is a combination road trip movie (as she tries to get to Dublin in time for Leap Day) and a boy meets girl, they hate each other and fall in love formula film that played better in previews than on the screen. As Irishman Declan, Matthew Goode lives up to his name, giving a casual charm to his character and hints of what is to come (in case you couldn’t see it coming from miles away). When movies try to be charming they seldom are, but this one gets a little credit, mostly for Goode. Let’s just say I could wait another four years before seeing this again. 3 cans.