Saturday, December 15, 2018

Random Thoughts - Holiday Edition 2018

Can someone please explain to me what happens to the bottom of the hamburger bun?  I eat the burger and try to keep the top and bottom buns in perfect harmony, but invariably the bottom bun starts to disappear while there is still plenty of top bun to go around.  So, I end up (so to speak) flipping the burger over and eating it upside down, which, I will admit, does not change the taste of the burger one bit.  Forget the old commercial cry, “Where’s the beef?”  The real question is, “Where’s the bun?”

This is the only time of the year when the Christmas Tree Shop is correctly named.

My BFF recently shared an article with me about the reduction of tuna fish consumption, especially among millennials, who apparently find opening a can too much work!  Please!  You can buy tuna in a pouch and rip it open with your bare hands.  As someone who once ate tuna fish sandwiches for lunch for two years straight, I find this attitude incomprehensible.  Granted, I probably have enough mercury in my system to be a human thermometer, but tuna is TOO MUCH WORK?  These kids today…

I have recently learned the joys of the dollar store.  A new Dollar Tree opened in my town and I stopped in to check it out.  Everything costs a dollar.  Really.  I find that amazing.  It is as advertised, hundreds of items, all for a dollar.  Or less.  Some things are two for a dollar.  I bought a three-pack of little serving size containers for soup that was a Betty Crocker brand, PABA free, and just – that’s right – a dollar.  I bought $3.99 Hallmark cards also for a dollar (are you getting the theme here?).  Those pretty Christmas bags I needed were 2 for $1.  I’ll never go anywhere else again for aluminum foil pans, etc., after discovering the joys of the dollar store!  Side note:  I managed to spend $24 in total.

Have you ever wondered how many manicures you can get out of one bottle of nail polish?  (This is not a math problem or a joke.)  I wonder how often the salon has to get new bottles, because it seems to me that one must go a long way.  I have one that must be at least 15 years old and it still contains polish (at what consistency, I don’t know). I have also wondered who comes up with the names for the colors of polish – “Midnight desire,” “Hypnotic,” etc.  And how does one get that job?

It is never easy being me.  I can’t help but notice when street or highway signs change their fonts, or if the typeface on the TV looks different.  I find typographical errors in books and magazines and hear grammatical mistakes on the radio and TV.  I once contacted my beloved New York Yankees to inform them that there were errors on the plaques of Roger Maris and Elston Howard in Monument Park.  Even though I sent my letter to George Steinbrenner himself, I never got a reply.  Much later, the errors were pointed out in an item in Sports Illustrated, and THEN they were corrected, but the Yankees said they had no idea.  Well, if you had read my letter…As I said, it isn’t easy being me.

Here’s an example of the “new math:” My toilet paper package says its 6 giant rolls are the equivalent of 36 regular rolls.  I’ll grant you that they are huge – they barely fit in the holder – but is each one really 6 times the size of a “regular” roll?  If that’s true, the regular ones would have to be changed daily.

What exactly does “dilly, dilly mean?  I do not understand that commercial.

Do you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you attempt to access an app and that dreaded screen comes up calling for your password?  Oh, please, be the right password, you utter to yourself, hoping you remember it!

Just for the fun of it, I ordered new ink cartridges the other day while still in bed by telling my Amazon Alexa to place the order.  Scary easy to do if you are reordering. How to spend money without even getting out of bed or touching a device.

I cannot read a magazine without ripping out those annoying reply cards and the ads that contain those perfume strips.  I also cannot throw those perfume strips out.  I save the strip part so I can throw the samples in the garbage can or the linen closet, and I have even used them to improve the air in my car!

It doesn’t matter what type of skin cream, lotion, etc., that you buy or how much you pay for it.  It will not work if you don’t use it regularly.  In my case, that means slathering the stuff on morning and night.  My normally dry skin gets much worse in the winter, so frequent moisturizing is a must!

They say that nothing lasts forever, but I still have and still use the two-piece Corningwear set I bought with my first apartment in 1975.  I use it to store and reheat leftovers at least twice a week, and it is still in pristine condition.  I should look so good after decades of use!

After nearly losing my credit card on a recent trip, I have now loaded Google Pay on my phone.  I won’t have to take the card out of my wallet at a store (not sure how this would work in a restaurant), I still get points on the card the transaction is charged to, and my card number won’t be shared.  I will admit that I was more than a little excited when I tried it at CVS (the drugstore, not the Rutgers Women’s basketball coach) and the vibration went off, indicating that the transaction went through.  Yes, kicks just keep getting harder to find.

I must admit that when I get a cold, it is a doozy.  It starts with a sore throat, and then it generally goes north to my head.  My eyes water, my nose runs, I sneeze, cough, blow my nose and look like 10 miles of bad road.  Those symptoms are typically followed by having the cold move to my chest, where the cough gets very loud and scary, because it will either become bronchitis or pneumonia.  I try to avoid the latter.  And no matter what, it will last two weeks – or more.  This time my ears clogged so badly that I couldn’t hear for several days and no amount of trying to blow them out would work.  All this was compounded by the fact that I had a 6-hour plane ride and would be away for a week.  Try sitting up on the open top level of a sightseeing bus so you can take pictures of British Columbia on a rainy Canadian day.  That was probably not what the doctor ordered – if I had had time to see one.  Instead, I traveled with every kind of over-the-counter medication that CVS sells and sniffed, coughed and blew my way through the week.

For some unknown reason, I have been getting emails offering me jobs in the grocery field in the Manasquan, NJ, area. Although I grocery shop all the time, even I don’t stray down to Manasquan for that purpose, and I’m not looking for a job of any kind.  Odd, isn’t it?  What kind of faulty algorithm determined that I had any interest in a career at ShopRite?

You know that screen on the back or side of your hair dryer that gets full of lint?  I clean that.  Yes, I clean that by poking a pair of tweezers through (not while plugged in!) until I can remove that lint.  Am I the only one?  I would not be surprised.

I have a long list of shortcomings.

This year, for the first time, I ordered my Christmas cards already pre-printed.  I don’t even have to sign my name.  And for extra money, Shutterfly would have been happy to mail them out for me, too.  Ah, the sprint of the giving season is upon us. 

My aqua aerobics friend was telling us recently about the New Year’s Eve party she attends with her Senior Club.  It is held in a beautiful restaurant filled with lovely holiday decorations, serves great food, and there is music and dancing.  And they are home by 4 because it starts at 11:30 AM!  Does the ball drop at 2?  Hey, it’s midnight somewhere, right, and you get home before dark, or, as I pointed out, you can avoid the crazy drunks out for the evening.  She insisted she still had time for them, and that was fine with her.  I see my future, and it begins at noon…

May you enjoy the warmth of the holiday season – which, in my case, means flannel sheets on the bed, towels in the towel warmer and pajamas in the microwave.  Happy holidays!



Friday, November 30, 2018

Tina's November 2018 Movies

I came up slightly short of a dozen movies in November, but I am almost certain to hit my goal of 150 for the year with one month and just 11 movies left to see.  I saw lots of new ones in November and especially liked "Green Book." Movies are rated on a scale of 0-5 cans of tuna fish (I had to change the scale since for the first time one movie received 0 cans).  Movies marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously and numbering picks up from prior months.

129.  Can You Ever Forgive Me?* (2018) – Real-life author Lee Israel (Melissa McCarthy) was once on the best-seller list, but the hard-drinking woman has fallen on hard times in the early 1990s.  She can’t pay her rent or the bill from the vet, her apartment is a dump and her agent won’t take her phone calls because she claims she can’t sell anything Lee plans to write.  Desperate, she begins to forge letters from such literary luminaries as of Dorothy Parker, Noel Coward and others, and she adapts to their witty, acerbic styles so well that the letters seem authentic.  She teams up with her equally irresponsible friend Jack (Richard Grant) sell the forged letters to book shops for resale.  The phony correspondence is coveted by dealers for clients, and Lee begins to emerge from her lonely existence and earn enough money to sustain herself and her drinking habits.  But can the deception last?  This movie is billed as a “comedy-thriller,” but there were only smatterings of clever comedy and it wasn’t all that thrilling, either.  Based on a true story – Israel wrote a book about her experience – and viewers can tell how it turns out, and I suspect that Lee knows, too.  3½ cans.
130.  Switched for Christmas* (2017) – There was a time when “The Hallmark Hall of Fame” broadcast superb stories, memorable movies that I enjoyed and looked forward to seeing.  Now, Hallmark preempts its daily Hallmark Channel programs (I miss Lucy and “The Golden Girls” to telecast these treacly Christmas-themed movies for more than two months each year.  Since many of my friends freely admit enjoying them – often, they claim, just to cleanse the brain with mindless “entertainment” – I thought it would only be right to see what they find so addictive.  Wrong!  My first foray was this story of twin sisters who switch places, with the career woman taking over for the art-teacher mom, both played by Hallmark heroine Candace Cameron Bure.  I’d tell you the rest of the plot if it mattered in the least, which is not the case here.  It is mindless entertainment; I was asleep in the first 20 minutes, went to bed, and used my extra hour of sleep to finish it on the morning of the first day of Eastern Standard Time.  There’s an hour of my life I’m not getting back.  But I am not giving up. I will do an unscientific study to see if any of these movies can even get on the tuna fish scale, so to speak. 0 cans.
131.  Beautiful Boy* (2018) – This intense true story stars Timothee Chalamet as Nic, a sweet, meth-addicted teenager who needs his father’s help but resents him when he tries to come to his rescue.  Steve Carell is David, a writer who does everything he can to save the boy he loves so much.  The frustrated father, divorced from Nic’s mother and raising two young children with second wife Karen (Maura Tierney), makes his son feel he has disappointed his father with each attempt to give him the help and support he needs.  But nothing can fill the void in the young man’s life, and the drugs are just too enticing.  This is a story filled with love, failure, sadness and hope.  Chalamet’s performance breaks your heart.  4 cans.
132.  The Road to Christmas* (2018) – I’m trying to understand why many of my friends adore these corny, predictable Hallmark Christmas movies, which invade the airways for two full months before Christmas.   In this one, the star is a TV producer, working with a Martha Stewart (but less bossy) type of TV star on her annual Christmas special.  And this year, it is going live.  So the boss lady brings in her son (Chad Michael Murray, the main reason I watched this in the first place), who has produced previous TV specials, to help out on this one.  He is experienced but a little smug.  Everyone wants this show to succeed, there are technical issues, weather challenges, family issues, and do you think that they just might fall in love?  Oh, the suspense is killing me.  Another innocuous cinematic trifle, hardly worth the time and effort.  1 can.
133.  Tootsie (1982) – I find this Dustin Hoffman comedy irresistible, especially Hoffman’s performance as an obnoxious actor who achieves success when he masquerades as an actress to snag a part in a long-running TV soap opera.  His Michael Dorsey is a much better person as Dorothy, a rather frumpy woman who falls in love with the star of the soap, played by Jessica Lange.  In today’s Me, Too, environment, I could look at the plot and the characters in a new light and note how we use stereotypes to pass judgment on people without knowing them.  As Michael says to Lange late in the movie, “I was a better man with you, as a woman... than I ever was with a woman, as a man.”  Watch the movie and it all makes perfect sense.  4 cans.
134.  Green Book* (2018) – If you were Black in the 1960s and wanted to travel in the south, you had better have a copy of the “Green Book,” the directory that listed which hotels would accept people of color.  Even Dr. Don Shirley, an African-American who was a noted concert pianist booked to entertain the local gentry in their stately southern country clubs, could not eat in the clubs’ dining rooms or stay in the finer hotels.  When Dr. Don Shirley (Mahershala Ali) embarks on his southern performance tour, he hires a rough and tumble New Yorker with mob connections, Tony “Lip” (Viggo Mortenson, perfectly cast), to be his driver.  Tony eats greasy food, can’t compose a decent letter to the wife he left behind – but he knows how to get out of and avoid trouble.  Shirley, on the other hand, is as prim and proper, talented and poised, well-dressed and well-mannered, who needs a little dose of reality from the Lip.  The movie reminded me of “Driving Miss Daisy,” where two people who come from different worlds overcome their differences and become great friends and companions.  Without question, one of the best movies of the year.  4½ cans.
135.  Bohemian Rhapsody* (2018) – Let’s start with the fact that I know very little about the rock band Queen other than their iconic anthems like “We Are The Champions” and “We Will Rock You,” – and, of course, the title tune, a lengthy and unlikely hit that was strictly the brainchild of dynamic lead singer Freddy Mercury (Rami Malek).  The biopic traces the history of a band going nowhere until Mercury joins.  Malek gives a sensational performance as a man who struggles with his own sexuality, the trappings of fame and the excesses made possible by becoming a major rock star.  How can you tell whether the people in your corner are friends or sycophants?  The crescendo of the movie is when Queen is asked to perform at the legendary 1985 “Live Aid” concert that was held simultaneously in London and Philadelphia and which became the Woodstock of its generation in terms of talent on the stage.  How they recreated or used footage of those concerts in the movie is remarkable.  Amazing and entertaining.  4 cans and a probable Oscar nomination for Malek.
136.  The Death of Stalin* (2017) – And now for something completely different.   Imagine “Monty Python” executing (pun intended) the succession plan when Soviet leader Joseph Stalin dies in 1953.  With nods to the Marx Brothers and shades of “The In-Laws,” a whacky bunch of inept Russians fight over everything from Stalin’s successor to whether he is really dead (at least they confirm that before they grab a saw and start slicing into his skull).  This movie is a satire, though you can see overtones of today’s political climate in each of the characters.  The standouts for me were the always excellent Steve Buscemi as Nikita Khrushchev and Jeffrey Tambour as the wry and wily minister of whatever (it really doesn’t matter).  This is “All the Dictator’s Men” and it is a farcical delight.  3½ cans.
137.  Chappaquiddick* (2017) – In the annals of politics, there has never been a family quite like the Kennedys.  The story here is familiar – Senator Ted Kennedy, partying with a bunch of attractive young Bobby Kennedy staffers, goes off in a car with Mary Jo Kopechne and accidentally drives the car off a bridge in Chappaquiddick in July 1969, just when Apollo 11 is making its way to the moon.  Somehow, he manages to escape as the car, with Mary Jo drowning in it, sinks – along with his hopes for the presidency.  Teddy has to be persuaded to report the incident to the local authorities, but he holds off until the next day, not knowing how to best concoct a story that will save his political career and keep him out of jail.  The Kennedys and their staffers are portrayed as unfeeling despots whose main objective is to contain and control the news with minimal damage to Teddy.  His lack of action is inexcusable in every way, but the local authorities as well as Kennedy staffers cut him every conceivable break.  What a totally reprehensible lot they all were.  Well played by Jason Clarke as Kennedy, a man alternating between ambition and remorse.  3 cans.
138.  The Last Days of Knight* (2018) – This documentary about legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight of Indiana is part of the ESPN series “30 for 30.”  If you are familiar with Knight, you probably know about his success as a coach and his well-known temper.  He was an equal opportunity bully, hounding his players, nasty to the media that followed his program, and disrespectful to university officials and faculty.  But did he go too far?  The documentary spends an inordinate amount of time focusing on one player, Pat Reid, who transferred out of Indiana and ultimately revealed that he had been choked by Knight in a fit of rage at a team practice.  Former players and officials either condemned or denied the action until, mysteriously, a videotape was mailed to Robert Abbott, the CNN writer/producer working on the Knight story, verifying that the incident took place.  Winning coaches are revered and afforded great latitude with enormous power and prestige.  Ultimately, Knight lost his job when he couldn’t follow the ultimatum handed down to him by the university president and he attacked a student on campus.  Success in athletics shouldn’t be realized out of fear and dread.  I thought this documentary, while thorough, placed too much emphasis on the writer/producer and his attempts to uncover the story over time.  3 cans.
139.  Widows* (2018) – Veronica (Viola Davis) clearly loves her husband, but Harry Rawlins (Liam Neeson) is a gangster who pulls off big jobs with his crew.  Until they get blown up during a heist.  Veronica and the other women in the lives of this gang find out they have been ripped off, too, left with their husbands’ debts to powerful men in Chicago.  They team up to pull off Harry’s next job, even though they have no experience buying or shooting guns and generally no knowledge of how to be criminals.  Veronica is the ringleader, following the meticulously outlined plans she finds in Harry’s the notebook.  There is plenty of shooting, double-crossing, plotting and planning in this female empowerment caper.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the women are mad as hell and they are not going to take it anymore.  Also starring Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki and Cynthia Eviro as the vengeful women and Colin Farrell, Daniel Kaluuya and Robert Duvall.  Sisters are doing it for themselves.  3½ cans.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

November Message from Tina - Monthly Musings

If you know me, you know that I am a dedicated Rutgers Women’s Basketball fan(atic).  I was thrilled to be at the game on November 13 when Hall of Fame Coach C. Vivian Stringer became only the 6th coach (male or female) to reach 1000 winds in her career.  I was there for #700, #800 and #900, and this milestone clearly topped them all.  Vivian Stringer is an inspiring woman, a leader, teacher, mother figure to her players and one so integral to their lives that they remain close to her long after they have graduated.  Her former players and assistant coaches descended on the RAC from as far away as Turkey and Hawaii to be on hand for this special night.  I can’t even describe how exciting it was to witness this remarkable woman join the ranks of other coaching legends.  Way to go, CVS!

If you ever want to see a group of women in a state of absolute panic, just tell them that you heard that Bed Bath & Beyond is going to stop accepting expired coupons!  Or, even worse, that BB&B isn’t going to issue any coupons at all.  As for me, my collection of the beloved BB&B coupons has grown to the point that I should designate a beneficiary for them in my will.

I think the cashier in Wegman’s just put my 18 items into 12 bags.  And I carried them all into the house in one trip.  Of course!

If you ever are behind me and the tag from my top is sticking out, you have my permission to tuck it in, no questions asked.  Thank you.

A few of my Book Club friends went to lunch today and I asked if anyone had finished reading this month's book, After Anna. One was finished, the other almost finished.  I said I was up to the part where...and neither knew what I was talking about. Turns out that I am reading a different book by the same name. And I really like it, so I will have to finish that one and start the other one. Two books with the same name is just WRONG!

Let’s talk about pantyhose, the bane of existence for most women.  Rarely worn by many women these days, pantyhose remain a wardrobe must if you are getting dressed up for something special.  I don’t know about you, but when I open the package and look at the panty part of the hose, my first thought is always, “How am I supposed to get THIS (looking at my hips and butt) into THAT?”  According to the size chart, as long as I weigh the same amount as someone who is 5’8”, we wear the same size.  In realistic terms, that means the top is going to be too small to accommodate my width and the bottom will be way too long for my length.  What’s a woman to do?  Now I am learning that when a pair fits me right I save the label so I know to buy that exact same style again – assuming I can find them.  And further, who comes up with these names: “Midnight black,” “Jet black” and “Nude?”  If I wanted my legs to be nude in the first place, I wouldn’t be wearing pantyhose.  And you know that there will be the inevitable run in the pantyhose before the night is through, right?  I hate them!

I found a great recipe for an apple cider doughnut cake and I thought about baking it.  But when I read the instructions to flour a bundt pan, I remembered that I don’t own a bundt pan because I don’t bake.

Something to ponder:  Do we wake up in the middle of the night because we have to go to the bathroom, or do we go to the bathroom because we wake up?  Please discuss.

I recently bought two bottles of shampoo online because I cannot find this particular variety of Finesse in a store.  The company that shipped them to me has now sent me 3 emails requesting that I fill out a survey to let them know whether they did a good job.  You read the order, got the bottles, put them in a box and shipped them to my house.  No more, no less.  I’m not wasting my time commending you for doing exactly what you were supposed to do.  I’ll spend my time with “lather, rinse, repeat.”

My friends took me out for a celebratory birthday dinner to a place that had changed hands.  We all knew what it used to be called, which led to a discussion of places that go in and out of business, operating under new names.  One of my friends reported that a place she knows had changed hands so often that the new owners decided to name it “Used To Bes,” in honor of its lifetime of iterations of places that people knew and loved.

If my handwriting gets any worse, I will be forced to put an MD after my name and pretend I am a doctor.

I have had more medical claims this year than ever before.  This is the first time I have hit my out-of-pocket maximum for the year and my most recent statement from my insurance company was 27 pages long.  Yikes.  I’m fine, by the way.

Vanity Fair magazine issue #3 of my new subscription just arrived, which is great, except for the fact that I have yet to read issues #1 and 2.  And that’s why I had stopped this subscription in the first place.  It is a good magazine, but I never seem to get around to reading it.  It’s great for travel, however. Just read and recycle as you go.

Hey, Movie Pass: Don't send me an offer to buy discounted wine. I signed up for discounted movies, and you can't seem to do that correctly. I started with a year's subscription for unlimited movies. Then you reduced that to several movies per month. Then you reduced that to only certain movies of YOUR choice, not mine. Now the app never seems to have the movies I want to see - when it works at all. Is the special wine offer because you are driving me to drink? I can't even cancel my subscription, because it is an annual one and doesn't run out until April, 2019. I might as well keep it on the off-chance I might again, someday, see a movie for a discounted price.  And that was why I signed up in the first place. I predict this company will go the way of Blockbuster and the FlipCam - a good idea but not a viable business model.

My friend Flora points out that wishing someone a “happy belated birthday” actually makes no sense.  The birthday was on time.  It was your good wishes that were tardy.  Instead, try, “belated happy birthday” the next time you are trying to make up for forgetting.

I ask my home companion, Alexa, for the weather report every day (it accounts for the majority of our interaction).  She tells me the temperature, but if I ask her whether I should expect rain, she really equivocates.  “It might rain,” she says noncommittally.  Those are the days I wear sunglasses and bring an umbrella, just in case.  I imagine her chatting with her sister Alexa devices and claiming that her owner really is the dullest person imaginable.

In the history of relaxation, has anyone ever relaxed when admonished to do so?  It never works in the gynecologist’s office, and when the nail technician tells me to relax my hands, that doesn’t work either.  If my hands are tense, it’s not intentional.  It’s like having the dentist tell me to move my tongue.  I have no idea where my tongue is.  There are just body parts that have a mind of their own, I guess.

Why do all medical personnel think that you have privacy when they close that cloth curtain?  I was in the recovery room after my recent colonoscopy, and now I know that everyone has diverticulosis and who didn’t do a really good prep for the procedure.   And is there a rule that the procedure area must use that speckled linoleum on the floor?  I went for blood work recently and walked into the waiting room, which looked like a bus terminal – cheap chairs, lined up as if the people waiting were about to start a game of musical chairs, moving only when someone’s name was barked out of the window in the wall separating the people waiting from the procedure area with the ugly linoleum floors.  And the curtains are not soundproof, folks!

Today’s schedule was carefully plotted out to take into consideration the tasks I had to accomplish, where each place I had to go was located and the time I needed to spend getting there in the most efficient way, with no backtracking.  What I didn’t account for was the car traveling at 10 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit on River Road in Piscataway or selecting what seemed like the best check-out line at ShopRite, never imagining that the elderly woman ahead of me would decide that the cashier was Italian so she could ask her advice about why her meatballs fall apart.  People, come on, I have places to go and people to see!

Friends, if you have a milestone high school reunion coming up and are undecided about attending, take my advice and GO!  At my 50th in October, everyone was so friendly and excited to be there. I loved catching up with old, dear friends and speaking to people I barely knew back then. Everyone had so much fun! Even the spouses and guests seemed to have a great time. So do yourself and the Reunion Committee a favor. Make sure you give them your contact information so they can find you, and, when invited, sign up and go. Unless you had a real bad high school experience, you will be pleasantly surprised to see how well everyone has grown up.




Thursday, November 1, 2018

Tina's October 2018 Movies

This month's eclectic collection includes a ballyhooed musical, documentaries on two transcendent stars, the Queen, a bunch of Dames and student-athletes, and a look at Tovah Feldshuh movies I love.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating.  Numbering picks up from previous months and movies I had not seen previously are marked with an asterisk.
116.  Student-Athlete* (2018) – The term “student-athlete” was coined by NCAA President Walter Byers in 1964 to define collegiate athletes as a category different from employees of the college or university – but are they?  Things have changed and student-athletes now can get modest stipends, but they still cannot cash in on their autographs or get paid for the use of their pictures.  Yet the NCAA is rolling in money and many of the college coaches are paid millionaires. This documentary, from LeBron James (who, ironically, skipped college to play professional basketball right out of high school), focuses on four young men at various stages of their athletic careers.  There is the high school basketball player who is being courted by a legion of top name colleges and another who played in college but whose injuries have prevented him from pursuing his professional career.  Two football players, including Shamar Graves of Rutgers, are included.  Graves’ story is about his trying to make it professionally after college.  The other football player went to Baylor not on a scholarship, and he gets into trouble for accepting housing and expense money from the parents of a friend who claim they were helping him only as a student, not because he was an athlete.  Even the most minor of benefits are not permitted, despite the fact that many of these kids come from families below the poverty line.  After college has ended (with or without a degree), they have slim chances of making the pros because of the competition, and chasing their dreams is costly financially, mentally and physically.  This film is an indictment of the system and chock full of statistics that tell the story of the money and fate of the student-athlete.  4 cans.
117.  A Star Is Born* (2018) – Yes, in fact, a new movie star emerges in this retelling of the ASIB tale, and her name is Lady Gaga.  Here she delivers an earthy portrayal of Ally, a powerhouse singer performing in a drag club that Major Rock Star Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper, who also directed, sings and plays guitar and piano) stumbles into one night (literally, and not the last time you will see him in this state) just to get a drink.  He’s a star, she’s an unknown, but their fortunes will change once they team up.  The songs are meaningful and performed with skill and gusto by both Gaga and Cooper.  And as her star ascends, his declines, weighed down by booze, drugs and hearing problems.  Maybe because I know the story from having seen the Barbra Streisand-Kris Kristofferson version many times (I have also seen Judy Garland and James Mason in these roles), I kept wanting this version to be even better.  And as outstanding as Bradley Cooper was, he looked a little too robust than a man with a drug problem should look (he was not emaciated, as was Kris Kristofferson).  But forget “Bette Davis Eyes” – I could gaze into Bradley Cooper’s eyes all day!  Outstanding performances, excellent music with just a little pacing problem at times, but really a must-see.  4 cans and Oscars in the air for the star who was born on screen in this movie, Lady Gaga.
118.  The Paper Chase (1973) – If you can survive contract law class with Professor Kingsfield as a first-year law student at Harvard, the rest of your life should be easy.  Timothy Bottoms, hair flying in every direction, is eager-to-please 1L James Hart, determined to survive and thrive the harshness of Kingsfield’s Socratic teaching approach.  He complicates his life by entering a relationship with Susan (Lindsay Wagner), who turns out to be the professor’s married (but separated) daughter.  John Houseman imbues Kingsfield with unquestioned authority as he motivates his students to think and not turn their minds to mush.  I give the movie an A and put it on the Dean’s List.  3½ cans.
119.  Queen* (2018) – This PBS documentary uses formerly unseen footage to review the life of Queen Elizabeth and the extended Royal Family.  It includes a lengthy segment on new Duchess Megan Markle, recent bride of Prince Harry, as she looks at her wedding gown for the first time after the ceremony, pointing out how a flower from each of the 51 countries that make up the British Commonwealth was included.  There is footage of the young Queen and husband Prince Philip on their long trip to visit the Commonwealth Countries when her own children were very young.  Having watched “The Crown,” I have a better understanding of the responsibilities the young Queen faced as she entered a role she never expected to assume.  Fascinating footage.  3 cans.
120.  First Man* (2018) – Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) was a quiet, intense engineer who became an astronaut and was the first man to set foot on the Moon.  But the story here is how NASA managed to make that happen, despite numerous technical problems that cost the lives of some of the astronauts.  The drama is overstated for movie purposes, since we all know that Armstrong makes it to the moon and back.  The flight sequences show the difficult conditions in which these heroes worked, with space capsules and planes shaking wildly and appearing ready to burst at any moment.  I can’t be disappointed in the portrayal of Armstrong if he truly was a bland, dull guy, but at least we know that part of the reason for his taciturn personality was the loss of his young daughter.  Clare Foy plays his wife with more fire in her than in Armstrong himself.  I would like to have seen fewer shots of my man Ryan through his helmet, but he does a fine job in a limiting role.  3½ cans.
121.  Gaga, Five Foot Two* (2018) – This Netflix documentary gives viewers a real behind-the-scenes look at the immensely talented Lady Gaga, a dynamic singer and performer.  We see her perform in concert, culminating with her performance at halftime at the Super Bowl, a lifetime achievement for most entertainers.  But what I found most appealing was the unsparing look at the realities of her life, the physical pain she endures, the recounting of her successes that were followed by heartbreaks, her love for her friends and family, and her admission of loneliness.  This woman is not just someone who wore outrageous outfits, but a real human being trying to manage her life along with her obligations while rocketing to the top of show business.  4 cans.
122.  Creed* (2015) – The “Rocky” saga lives on through young Adonis (Donnie) Johnson (Michael B. Jordan), the son of former champion boxer and Rocky’s stellar opponent, the late Apollo Creed.  Donnie wants to fight but needs to step out of the shadow of the father he never met, so who better to turn to than old family friend Rocky Balboa himself.  Sylvester Stallone resurrects Rocky once again, this time lonely, aging and ultimately, sick, still pining for his beloved Adrienne and his late friend/foe Apollo.  At first reluctant, Rocky takes on his young charge, having him chase chickens and race down the streets of Philadelphia.  This franchise has always been somewhat predictable, a tad overly-dramatic, but always full of heart and warmth, and this outing is no exception.  At the end of the Big Fight, you know there will be a Creed II, and I just saw the previews in the theater this week.  I’ll be seeing that one, too.  3½ cans.
123.  Tea with the Dames* (2018) – You feel like an eavesdropper watching this delightful session among English All-Star actresses Dame Maggie Smith, Dame Judi Dench, Dame Joan Plowright and Dame Eileen Atkins.  Old friends (and they would emphasize the word “old”), they all know each other from co-starring on stage or screen, they have worked together or with each other’s husbands and have tales to tell as they sip their tea – which eventually switches to champagne.  Each is well-known for a major role – although Maggie Smith claims never to have watched her most recent triumph, in the renowned PBS series “Downton Abbey.”  Here they sit around outside a charming English home, eventually retreating inside because of rain, and swap their stories.  It was fun listening to these masters and friends.  There is nothing like a dame.  3 cans.
124. First Monday in October* (1981) – Since the Supreme Court has been in the news a lot lately, I thought it was appropriate to give this old movie a viewing.  Jill Clayburgh (a wonderful actress) is conservative judge Ruth Loomis, selected by the President to fill a sudden vacancy in the Supreme Court (and her Congressional hearing was not nearly as acrimonious as was the recent hearing), making her the first woman to serve on the highest court of the land.  The other justices treat her fairly, but irascible Daniel Snow (Walter Matthau, who plays irascible like he was born to do it), a liberal, clashes with Loomis on key cases coming before the court.  Will they ever agree?  Will they become an unlikely romantic pairing?  I found this movie very preachy in its examination of big business (he hates it, she accepts it) and on defining pornography (she wants to view the entire movie in question to see if it represents actual art or has any redeeming qualities, while he has made up his mind without seeing it).  Any relationship they develop seems forced to me, yet the timing of this topic was right to view, so I’ll give it 3 cans.
125. Taking Woodstock* (2009) – I should have devoted my time to watching the “Woodstock” documentary rather than this behind-the scenes dramatized account of how the biggest music festival of its generation came to Max Yasgur’s farm in upstate New York.  Here, Elliot Tiber (Dimitri Martin, who could hardly be more bland), a nice young man who helps his aging parents at their run-down upstate NY motel, connects with his former pal Michael Lang (Jonathan Groff) to help secure the space from farmer Yasgur for the festival.  Elliot, the head of the local Chamber of Commerce, already conducts a music festival of sorts and is always looking for a way to attract customers for the dumpy motel, so he has a permit but lacks the vision of Lang.  Woodstock turned into a cultural phenomenon, with three days of rain, blocked roads, mud and music (like Elliot, we viewers don’t get to experience it) for the ages.  Watch the documentary and skip this one.  2 cans.
126.  Love, Gilda* (2018) – It is hard not to love Gilda Radner, a phenomenal comedic talent who burst into prominence as an original cast member of “Saturday Night Live” in the 1970s.  Her indelible characters (Emily Littella, Roseanne Rosanadana and Baba Wawa) and her fearless approach to making everything funny set her apart from the other women on the program.  Her story of fame and her death from ovarian cancer are not news, and this loving documentary sheds little new light on her life.  Nonetheless, it is heartwarming and heartbreaking to relive her moments of glory knowing that the story will not have a happy ending.  3 cans.
127. & 128.  Kissing Jessica Stein (2001) and A Walk on the Moon (1999) – I’m combining these two movies, which I have reviewed before, under the category of “Tovah Feldshuh Movies I Love.”  Though the veteran actress doesn’t get all that much screen time, she plays a pivotal role in the most warm and believable way in both films.  In “Stein,” she plays the mother of Jessica, a young Jewish woman who is looking for love and pushed by her mother to find happiness.  When Jessica seems to find it with another woman but doesn’t want to disappoint her mother, Feldshuh displays a remarkable tenderness and acceptance in one key scene.  In “Moon,” she is Bubbie, grandmother to her son Marty’s children with his wife Pearl (Liev Schreiber and Diane Lane).  As Pearl’s mother-in-law, she is both shocked and pragmatic about the younger woman’s affair with the “blouse man” (Viggo Mortensen) at the Catskills camp where they spend the summer in a modest bungalow.  This is during Woodstock, and Pearl finds herself reawakening as a woman who married and had a child at a very young age.  And yes, Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, but that is a different sort of exploration.  My recommendation is to see Feldshuh’s work in both of these movies and admire how she effortlessly moves the action, serves up commentary and enables the other actors to shine. 

Monday, October 15, 2018

Pressure: Adventurers with the Instant Pot

No, I am not writing this essay from a marijuana dispensary.

This month I am focusing on the latest kitchen gadget that I just HAD to buy, the Instant Pot.  The presentation on QVC was so compelling that I called a friend and made her buy one, too.  Every dish the hosts took out of this modern-age pressure cooker looked so completely yummy that I was instantly hooked.  And the cooking time?  Next to nothing, they touted, even when frozen chicken was used.  (Damn QVC and the Today's Special Value!)

But what they didn’t mention was more than what they said.  Let’s start with the fact that the name is a real misnomer and only partially correct.  It is a pot.  Instant?  Not by a long shot.  Since this device is an updated pressure cooker, I followed the instructions to steam up a batch of water to make sure it wouldn’t blow up under pressure.  Just the term “pressure cooker” is enough to evoke fear in many people, although this appliance is capable of slow cooking, baking and other feats of culinary magic, not just pressure cooking.  However, let’s not forget that people have used pressure cookers to make bombs. 

Before I attempted to make food in this contraption, I first had to do the “water test.”  In this case, I’m pleased to say that it did not detonate.  It takes at least 10 minutes just to get up to full pressure, and then you have to release the pressure by turning a valve, or you can let it release naturally.  Both take time. 

Next, I followed the advice of the entire Instant Pot Community group I joined on Facebook, where the IP vets (I’m into the lingo now) said to stick to a recipe.  I chose chicken, scouring the internet for a recipe that would be simple to follow.  It WAS simple, but it took much more than an instant. 

I had to first brown the chicken using the sauté feature.  Although my Viva model is a sizable 6-quart unit, much of the space in it is vertical, so having enough room to brown the boneless chicken breasts (which I cut in half to fit better) was a challenge.  I cooked them for considerably more than the time recommended because I had thick pieces of chicken.  Nobody wants to eat rare chicken, right?

Then I removed the chicken and added liquid – not the water the recipe called for (too blah), but a 14-oz can of chicken stock.  And I threw in some lemon juice (which I never did taste in the final product) for flavor.  You put the chicken back in on the trivet provided, and then comes the important part – you lock the lid on the device (which is like locking the astronauts into a space capsule, but on a smaller scale) turn it on and wait for it to get up to steam.  There’s a little float that bounces around until the steam level is reached, when it locks into an upright position.  Again, Instant is not exactly accurate.  This whole process is easy enough – you set the timer and when the pot reaches steam level, it starts the countdown to the time you set – but just getting to this point took more than 10 minutes.  I set the time for 9 minutes (remember, the 9 minutes starts AFTER the pot reaches the steam/pressure level) instead of the recommended 5 minutes – again, because the chicken was so thick. 

Here’s the thing – once the pot gets up to steam, you can’t just lift the lid and check the progress.  You have to let it finish its cycle and then wait until the steam is released naturally (which took another 5 minutes) or release the rest manually, taking care not to get scorched by the steam coming out of the venting valve.  I don’t recommend trying this for a facial. 

So, mine went through the cycle, and I followed the directions to let it “naturally” release its steam, which is somewhat like waiting for Mount Vesuvius to blow up.  That’s 5 minutes, followed by another 5 minutes after manually releasing the steam.  Then there was another 5 minutes of waiting time to let it sit and retain the juices. 

Let’s face it, I could have browned the chicken on the stove top and popped it into the oven, or I could have cooked the whole thing on top of the stove much FASTER than the so-called INSTANT pot.  But the chicken was tasty and tender, and there was a lot less clean-up because nothing splattered all over the stove, which is my usual MO. 

Feeling flushed with success over my first attempt with the IP, next I tackled an even simpler recipe – buttered noodles.  I used a half of a stick of butter melted in the bottom of the pot on the sauté setting.  The recipe called for chicken stock, but I used vegetable instead and threw in a can of cream of chicken soup to add thickness.  The noodles were broad noodles that get even broader when they are cooked.  I used half of the bag (and it lasted me for three days).

Once the pot came up to full pressure, it took just a mere 5 minutes to turn the dish into fully-cooked, tasty noodles, which is much less time than it would have taken to boil the water and cook the noodles conventionally, so I marked this one a win.  The end product had too much liquid – it looked like soup with a boatload of noodles in it – but I can adjust that.

My third experiment was a modest attempt. I had 2 turkey tenderloins, about ¾ of a pound each, that I seasoned and sautéed in the IP.  I then added chicken stock (which I am running through at an alarming pace) and I threw in some baby carrots.  The turkey was tender and the carrots overcooked after 15 minutes, so next time I’ll use less liquid and cut the cooking time a bit.

So far, so good.  I haven’t blown up the kitchen, and the cleanup is easier because all of the food is in one pot.  There’s no sautéing on the stove and cleaning up the splatters.  Amazon has already delivered the cake pans I ordered that fit in the Instant Pot and allow you to not only bake, but to steam things stacked up, so you can cook more than one thing at a time.  Then I remembered that I don’t bake, and that I sure don’t need to eat cake!  I’m not sure Weight Watchers will approve my use of this device.  I’m cooking and eating more these days, which is very un-WW-like of me.

I’m curious about other recipes.  It looks like it will be good for making soup, although my current recipe for butternut squash soup only takes less than 30 minutes from prep through cooking.  The idea here is to replace the crock pot with this device, which takes a lot less time than a slow cooker.  But I know I can’t walk out the door with the Instant Pot going like I can with the crock pot, and what’s better than walking into the house to the fragrant smell of a dinner cooking, just waiting for you for serve and enjoy?  Let’s try a pot roast to see how the house smells after that.

I’m willing to keep experimenting.  But I will get an earlier start and make sure that I factor in the extra time and that I don’t start out this process when I am already starving.  Otherwise this gadget will sit comfortably in the pantry, next to the Air Fryer that I just HAD to have when I saw that gadget on QVC and have used just once – with disastrous results.  So far, the score at Casa Gordon is Instant Pot 3, Air Fryer 1. 

Monday, October 1, 2018

Tina's September 2018 Movies

This month's dirty dozen movies included quite a few I had not seen previously (marked with an asterisk), including a documentary about the always interesting and controversial Jane Fonda, one about the NY Fire Department and a classic musical that was great to watch again. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating.  Numbering picks up from previous months.

104.  The Wife* (2018) – He is a renowned author who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature.  She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills.  He publicly professes his love for her.  And then he hands her his coat to hold.  Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage.  There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.”  Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife.  Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough.  Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography.  Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly.  I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film.  4 cans.
105.  Slap Shot (1977) – What “Bull Durham” is to minor league baseball, “Slap Shot” is to minor league hockey – minus the rom-com aspects and with more comedy.  This a raucous movie about the trials and tribulations of a minor league hockey team about to fold.  Newman is Reg Dunlap, the aging player-coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, a horrible hockey team in a crappy league full of has-beens and never-weres.  The team is headed to oblivion when management decides to bring back brawling, led by the bespectacled Hanson brothers.  When the three brothers arrive on the scene (complete with their toys) and are let loose on the ice, mayhem ensues and the team succeeds. Ah, but enough to make them an attractive franchise for another town to purchase? Newman is terrific, skating enough to seem credible as a hockey player. Michael Ontkean is the brainy player who won’t fight, and Strother Martin, Newman’s nemesis in the great “Cool Hand Luke,” is the general manager of the hockey club. 4 cans for a lot of laughs and the great Maxine Nightingale song, “Get Right Back to Where You Started From.”  And Newman. 
106.  The Captive* (2014) – This apparently little-known movie is an intriguing one.  (I found it on Netflix but could not find information online about it because it shares its title with a 1959 film.)  Ryan Reynolds is a desperate dad following the disappearance of his nearly 10-year-old daughter from his truck while he quickly ducked into a store to get her ice cream.  Eight years pass, with police still on the case but gathering no clues.  Who would have abducted her and why?  Detectives Rosario Dawson and Scott Speedman have a theory and begin to eek out info and details, but they think the father may be involved.  Meanwhile, on the marital front, the relationship is deteriorating since mom blames dad for leaving their daughter alone in the truck.  There were times I was transfixed and other times that I thought this is never going to end.  Never leave kids alone in the car is the message here.  3½ cans.
107.  My Fair Lady (1964) – THIS is a musical.  It has a book, lovely songs with memorable lyrics, plenty of dancing, and STARS – Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins and Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle.  It is based on the classic Pygmalion story by George Bernard Shaw about a professor of linguistics who makes a bet with his colleague that he can take a lowly flower girl with a Cockney accent and make her into a lady.  In today’s climate, I had to overlook the misogynistic tone and the Professor’s impervious manner, but it is a joy watching as Eliza transforms from a shrinking violet to a self-assured woman.  You know the saying, “They don’t make them like that anymore?”  Well, they don’t.  I can understand the outrage of replacing Julie Andrews, who starred in the stage version, with Hepburn, a bigger star whose voice was dubbed, but the musical succeeds quite nicely, with credit to Harrison – who, ironically, speaks his numbers but does it so well that you don’t mind.  Since I am going to see the revival at Lincoln Center, I thought I should brush up on my proper English first.  4 cans.  PS – The stage version I saw at Lincoln Center was outstanding.  I highly recommend it.
108.  The Gift* (2015) – Joel Edgerton gave himself a gift with this suspenseful movie, serving as writer, director and a star.  Gordo (Edgerton) and Simon (the always watchable Jason Bateman) are former high school classmates who meet as Simon and his wife move into town for his big promotion.  Gordo seems nice enough, but there are shades of stalking in his repeated contacts with Simon and Robyn (Rebecca Hall) – showing up unannounced, bearing gifts so the young couple has to respond, etc.  It seems Simon and Gordo were more than classmates, and Simon may not be the great guy he appears to be, making Robyn uncomfortable with her hubby as well as his strange friend.  3 cans.
109.  The Group* (1966) – As someone who graduated from a women’s college, I thought this movie about a group of women from an unnamed but Ivy League-type college in 1933 would be more appealing.  Instead, it is overwrought, badly acted, stilted and it reinforces men’s bad behavior (I’m not saying it is inaccurate, mind you).  The story follows the young women as they leave college, meet and marry (or try to) men and establish careers.  The eight characters are all relatively wealthy and privileged, but that does not translate into happiness in this soapy drama.  The cast is a good one on paper (Candace Bergen, in her feature film debut, gets the least amount of screen time but her character’s name is mentioned most often), Jessica Walter, Joanna Pettit and a bunch of others who seem virtually interchangeable.  Maybe it was more relevant when it was released in the mid-60s, but now it seems too melodramatic.  One point in its favor is the strength of the bond between the women, which definitely resonates with me.  3 cans.
110.  All the Money In the World* (2017) – This is the film notorious for editing out actor and accused sexual molester Kevin Spacey, who originally played billionaire J. Paul Getty, and replacing him with Christopher Plummer as the aging oil mogul whose 16-year old grandson Paul (Charlie Plummer) is kidnapped.  You may remember the story, so I’ll skip the details.  Getty refuses the pleas of Gail, his former daughter-in-law (Michelle Williams) to pay the $17 million ransom demanded by the kidnappers.  Getty states publicly that if he were to pay, the bad guys would abduct all 17 of his grandchildren.  The action goes between negotiations with Getty and Gail, aided by Getty advisor Fletcher Chase (Mark Wahlberg), who is clearly on the side of the distraught mother.  Getty wants to find a way to pay less – if anything – and do it in a way that he can deduct it from his taxes.  He is a stubborn old miser, collecting art and furnishing grand mansions while his family is nearly destitute.  Meanwhile, the poor kid’s life hangs in the balance while the bad guys ramp up their threats of harming the teenager.  Not a fun movie to watch, but kudos for excellent performances.  3½ cans.
111.  Searching* (2018) – Too many people live their lives online these days, where everything you do or say can be consumed by friends or enemies.  John Cho is David Kim, whose relationship with his 16-year-old daughter Margot (Michelle La) is largely conducted online, even though they live in the same house.  They text, Facetime, send emails and do everything except actually sit and talk, for the most part.  So, when she goes missing one day and he is asked by Detective Vick (Debra Messing in a rare dramatic role) for names of her friends and for her activities, David is at a loss.  He turns to the computer for clues, and most of the movie is shown on a screen, with Facetime, videocalls and lots of clicking on the keyboard as he constructs a life for his daughter that he knew nothing about.  The movie has plenty of intrigue as the detectives, aided by the distraught dad, pursue all the leads to find Margot.  One of the best movies I have seen this year.  4 cans.
112.  The Proposal* (2009) – New York book publisher Margaret (Sandra Bullock) matches up with all of the stereotypes we have seen portrayed in movies about intelligent and powerful women.  She is cold, unyielding and cunning and she treats everyone – especially her thoughtful and loyal assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) – with no appreciation and a healthy dose of disdain.  But when Margaret, a Canadian, is threatened with deportation, she coerces Andrew into agreeing to say they are engaged so she can stay in the US and retain her position.  Andrew isn’t quite the milquetoast he seems, bargaining for a promotion as he goes along with the scheme.  Things get complicated when the two, in an attempt to fool the determined immigration agent, end up going to Alaska for the weekend to attend Andrew’s grandmother’s birthday party, and they have to pretend they are engaged.  His family – who only knows Margaret through Andrew’s caustic references to her brow-beating of him as her assistant – is shocked that the pair are now a couple, but they welcome her into the family.  Come on, now, we all know exactly where this is heading, and it would be a TV movie at best except for the warm and wonderful performances by the entire cast, including Betty White as Gammy and Craig T. Nelson and Mary Steenbergen as Andrew’s parents.  This is not “Citizen Caine,” but it has substantial merits, and I really like Bullock and Reynolds.  3½ cans.
113.  Step Up* (2006) – In the pantheon of post-Fred, Ginger and Gene dance movies, this film will inevitably be compared to the more modern “Saturday Night Fever” with John Travolta, “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze and “Footloose” with Kevin Bacon.  All of them have the same basic plot: Bad boy meets good girl, they dance, they fall in love, something bad happens, dancing redeems them.  Here Channing Tatum is a naturally talented hip-hop dancer assigned to community service at the arts high school he trashed, and while mopping floor and cleaning windows, he spots dancer Nora (Jenna Dewan) and “steps up” to be her partner in a dance showcase when her original partner is injured.  They dance and become entranced, but there is no point in dwelling on the plot. This film modernizes the previous ones (granted, “Dirty Dancing” was set in the 1960s) with more current music and character types, and it largely pulls it off.  Like Travolta and Swayze, Tatum is completely captivating on the dance floor, oversized clothes and all.  This isn’t a great movie by any means, but it celebrates the exuberance and beauty of dance, and that’s enough for me.  3½ cans.
114.  A Good Job: Stories of the FDNY* (2014) – I cannot begin to understand the strength, bravery and skill required to fight fires, especially in a turbulent, crowded city like New York.  This documentary by actor Steve Buscemi (“Boardwalk Empire”), a former firefighter in NY, takes viewers behind the scenes with rare footage and revealing interviews with New York’s Bravest.  Men and women, black, white and all ethnicities, these heroes tell why they joined the Fire Department and what the bonds they build really mean.  What they do is so important, and you can’t help but admire them for doing it.  3½ cans. 
115.  Jane Fonda in Five Acts* (2017) – What actress has had more acts than Jane Fonda?  From Henry’s daughter to his co-star (in “On Golden Pond”), from Vietnam War critic and social activist to the fitness icon responsible for an entire video industry, from “Barbarella” to “Coming Home” and from Oscar-winning actress to mogul Ted Turner’s trophy wife?  In this HBO documentary Fonda reveals it all.  She cops to being subservient to her various husbands and she regrets that picture of her in Hanoi that gave her the moniker “Hanoi Jane” and stirred the hatred of millions.  But despite the controversies surrounding her life, she has turned out exceptional movies like “Klute,” “Coming Home,” – both Oscar-winning for her – and a few she used as vehicles to speak out about important issues, such as “The China Syndrome,” about a nuclear meltdown, and “9-5,” a call for equality in the workplace.  Neglected by her mentally-ill mother (who committed suicide when Jane was 12) and her detached, emotionless father, Jane carries plenty of emotional baggage.  I know there are people who still harbor resentment for her antiwar activism, but this is the same woman who fought for veterans and ran summer camps for kids at her home.  And at 80, even Jane admits that she looks pretty damn good.  Those Jane Fonda workout tapes had a long-lasting effect.  4 cans.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Thinking Out Loud

You know what jobs do well in any economy?  Sign makers and printers.  How many different names has your bank had?  The local hospital?  Somebody has to design these new logos and have the signs and advertising material done.  The banks alone could keep them in business.

These days, it seems you cannot just go to the doctor.  They force you to go online and complete questionnaires, confirm appointments and view test results.  And yet, when you arrive for the confirmed appointment, having listed all of your current medications and ailments, they ask you anyway.  Who is looking at all of this stuff?  Is anyone looking?  I recently had a colonoscopy, and I had to email a photo of the results from my last trip to the bathroom (I’m trying to say this delicately) to the surgical center prior to my arrival.  First of all, it turned out NOT to be my last trip, but who knew that would happen?  And who looked at it?  No one said, “Hey, thanks for the pictures from your recent visit.  Everything came out so clear!”  If you are having a bad day at work, remember, your job may feel shitty sometimes, but at least you don’t have to look at other people’s pictures of actual…You get the idea.

Truth:  Once you remove something from the box, you will NEVER get it back in the box the same way again.

Everything lasts forever if you don’t use it.  Conversely, nothing works the way it is supposed to if you don’t use it.  Take skin cream, for example.  My hands get cracked and dry, so the dermatologist told me to apply it right after I wash my hands.  But since I fail to follow those instructions religiously, my hands will remain dry and the samples she gave me will last forever.

Bananas have strings.  Corn has strings (silks).  Both are oblong.  Coincidence?  Related?  Discuss.

I live in fear that I will mix up the Aspercreme for my sore back with my toothpaste.  That would be an interesting experience.

Do you walk into a room or open a drawer and HOPE you remember why? Sure you do!

I keep seeing Tom Selleck in commercials for reverse mortgages.  His eyebrows are so dark and big that they distract me from what he is saying.  All I can think of is Groucho Marx.

Here’s something I just learned:  The inspection station (here in New Jersey) just checks your emissions these days.  No more watching anxiously while they slam on your brakes; no more checking your headlights and brights.  Not that I miss the long wait and time spent there, but I have to admit that previously I felt a little safer knowing these things were being checked.  The upside is that I was in and out in about five minutes.  And I passed.

I love technology, but this 3D printing thing has me totally confused.  People are designing and printing everything from body parts to guns to houses!  I keep thinking of paper mache, something that will fall apart if it gets wet.  I guess my regular HP printer won’t do the job.  If you are printing a gun, do you also print the bullets?  Today I saw a spine being created via 3D.  All I know is that if I started printing something, I would either run out of paper or I would get a message that my printer cartridge was getting low and I should replace it with genuine HP parts!

Because I was up, showered and dressed at 7 AM on the day my new file cabinet was to be delivered, and because I cancelled all of my plans to stay home for the delivery, and because I stayed in my office all day so I could keep an eye out for the delivery truck pulling into the driveway, nothing was delivered.  When I finally got the tracking information and called, I was told I would have to “make an appointment” for the delivery.  My response was, “And when were you going to let me know that?”  So, on the appointed day, I was up and dressed at 7 AM and watching the driveway to see if the delivery that was scheduled between 7 AM and 1 PM actually happened.  You KNOW that if I went out for 10 minutes, even to the back yard, the truck would pull up and then disappear forever.  In the words of the late, great Sylvia Gordon, “I spend half my life waiting for these people to show up.”  OK, not exactly half, but you know what we mean!  PS – It arrived, all 100+ pounds of it, dropped in the middle of my office for me to unwrap and put in place – with my sore, aching back.  Done.  When I am determined to do something, there is no stopping me.

A recent episode of the TV show “Younger” was sponsored in part by AARP.  Am I the right demographic?  I guess so.

The importance of having a compelling title and good cover art for a book is probably more critical now than ever.  So many people (including me) now buy their books online (thank you, Amazon) rather than go to a physical bookstore where they can pick up the book and read the jacket synopsis.  Online merchandising means the publisher has to come up with something that grabs your attention or you will scroll right by it.  The problem with reading a book on my Kindle is that I forget the name of what I am reading.  With a printed book, you have the title in front of you at all times, but reading on the Kindle sometimes forces me to go to the home screen to remind me of what I am reading.  Or, it could just be that I am getting old(er) and more forgetful.

I would have much more time to read if I didn’t have to keep up with the book recommendations sent to me every damn day by Book Bub. 

When it comes to Weight Watchers, when I’m good I am very, very good, but when I’m bad, it better not be on the day before the weigh-in.

Unless you are going into a field that requires extensive knowledge of math, here’s all you really need to know: How to calculate the tip on the dinner bill and divide among all of your friends (which you can do on your phone); how much 25% off is at a Macy’s One Day Sale; how ShopRite figures I saved $16.72 when I didn’t even use a coupon; and how much Kohl’s owes YOU when you buy something on clearance, on sale and you have the 30% off coupon.  I know people who have walked out the door with money after buying things on sale.  That’s pretty much it for your math needs.

My scale recently just decided to display my weight in kilograms, which I must admit is a much friendlier number than its equivalent in pounds.  I found the switch and changed it back.  Reluctantly.

I have to question the productivity in the workplace these days when I see so much online activity by people who I know have jobs…

I don’t mind going to the dermatologist.  First, thankfully, I have had no skin cancer or other skin issues that needed more care than applying moisturizer.  Second, she’s the only doctor who doesn’t make me get on the scale.  And finally, she tells me my skin is really good.  It never seems that way to me, but she IS the professional here, so I bow to her opinion.

I’m starting to feel like my own personal Help Desk.  Last week I set up my new computer and transferred my files all by myself.  Then I found a program that shreds files and installed it on my oldest computer, wiped out most of the programs and finally was able to remove the hard drive after many unsuccessful attempts.  I also managed to extricate the CPU, rendering the old computer useless.  And just to be sure, I smashed the hard drive and CPU with a hammer.  Of course, I realize that a 10-year-old could reassemble in minutes what it took me hours to accomplish.  But I am proud that I could handle my own technology issues. 

One more computer thing:  One of my requirements for this new computer was that it had to have a 17” touch screen.  Wow, was THAT the right choice!  I can enlarge the screen in any application, which makes it so much easier on my eyes.  No more squinting to read my email!

There is a day coming in my future that I have dreaded for years.  I know it is inevitable, but I won’t be relieved when it gets here.  I’ll just resign myself to it.  It is the day when I come to grips with a jar that I cannot open.  I don’t give up easily.  I have gadgets, grit, determination – and less hand strength than I used to have.  There’s no one here to ask for help, so I will battle to prevail over the jar.  But I know that day is coming, and I’m not happy about it.

Try to be the highlight of somebody’s day. 




Saturday, September 1, 2018

Tina's August 2018 Movies

This month just 10 movies made the cut, but that total makes me exceed 100 for the year with four months left. Movies marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously, and all movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating.  Numbering picks up from previous months.

94.  Murder by Numbers* (2002) – With a cast headed by Sandra Bullock and Ryan Gosling, this movie had my expectations high, but it didn’t fulfill its promise.  Bullock plays an outwardly tough police detective with a new partner (Ben Chaplin) assigned to solve the case of a murdered woman.  While the evidence neatly leads to a school janitor who conveniently shoots himself, Bullock is convinced that two high school students are involved in the crime.  Gosling is a wiseass rich kid and Michael Pitt is a loner who falls under his charmed spell.  But did they do it?  How did they do it and why did they do it, and can the detectives’ meticulous search for clues pin it on two kids?  I didn’t much like Bullock’s character, and while Gosling is always a personal favorite, he isn’t very captivating this time around.  2½ cans.
95.  Like Father* (2018) – This lightweight Netflix movie features two appealing performers (Kelsey Grammer and Kristen Bell) trapped in a contrived, formulaic comedy that is neither funny nor worthy of viewing.  He is the father who abandoned her as a child.  With perfect timing, he shows up after 20-something years to attend her wedding – where the groom abandons her at the altar when she has her omnipresent cell phone hidden within her bouquet.  Father and daughter somehow decide, after a drunken night, to go on her honeymoon together, where they encounter every cliché character possible and proceed to have madcap adventures and hijinks.  I just saved you about 90 minutes, because you know she will become less uptight and he will become a better father.  You’re welcome.  2 cans.
96.  Mr. Mom (1983) – Jack Butler (Michael Keaton) loses his automotive engineer position and his wife Carolyn (the always reliable Teri Garr) goes to work to support the family with a job in advertising under the supervision of Ron Richardson (the always perfectly smarmy Martin Mull).  Jack thinks he can handle the household and the three children, but between leaving calls for “clean-up in aisle 3” all over the supermarket, going the wrong way to drop the kids off, and trying to master the vacuum cleaner nicknamed “Jaws,” he proves not only how utterly inept he is around the house, but how challenging it is to manage a household and children.  Granted, this is not exactly a classic comedy, but the affable Keaton is perfect as the befuddled dad who morphs into, well, Mr. Mom.  The scene with Jack and the neighborhood moms playing cards and using coupons as cash is one of many that made me laugh out loud.  3½ cans.
97.  The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society* (2018) – This movie is about a book club, but it is not like any book club YOU are in.  First, it is co-ed, which happens to have a few advantages over the usual, single-gender variety.  And second, it features four actors straight out of my beloved “Downton Abbey.”  Lily James is author Juliet Ashton, who corresponds with members of the GLPPPS and decides she must meet them.  The action takes place just after WWII, and the members of the club can recount their experiences during the war, when Guernsey was under Nazi rule.  This is an engaging story, filled with warmth, as the group becomes a family.  Also starring Downton Abbey faves Matthew Goode (in a brief part), Jessica Brown Findlay and Penelope Wilton.  It is based on a book, so you might want to stay true to its original purpose and read it instead of watching it, but then you’d miss the loveliness of the location and the talents of the actors.  3½ cans.
98.  Puzzle* (2018) – Poor Agnes (Kelly McDonald) leads a dull and unstimulating life, serving as housewife and mother and practically handmaiden to her tone-deaf husband (David Denman) and two nearly grown sons.  In the beginning of the movie, she is setting up for a birthday party, serving the food and putting candles on a birthday cake that turns out to be hers.  One of the gifts she receives is a jigsaw puzzle, and when she finally takes time for herself to give it a try, she gets through it with blinding speed.  Soon she is out at a puzzle store, embracing her new interest and contacting a man (Irfan Khan) who is looking for a puzzle partner with whom he can enter a puzzle competition.  Agnes comes more alive, taking trips into New York, forgetting about church meetings and failing to show up on time to feed her wary brood and instead showing her amazing gift for puzzles to a stranger.  This is an interesting story about a woman who needs order, who needs the pieces of her life to come together, but who uncharacteristically strays from her routines and broadens her views.  If you’re looking for action, adventure or laughs, you can skip this one.  But sometimes I like to see a quiet little story about how people live their lives and how something so unexpected comes along to change them.  3½ cans.
99.  As Good As It Gets (1997) – Jack Nicholson is Melvin, a feisty, obsessive-compulsive man who people try to avoid.  His routine consists of a daily trip to the local restaurant (which he gets to by assiduously avoiding stepping on any cracks in the sidewalk) where only Carol (Helen Hunt) will agree to serve him.  He is a bully and a bigot – but you know that he will not end the movie the way he starts it.  When he is stuck caring for the dog of his gay neighbor Simon (Greg Kinnear), he actually shows a break in his armor by liking the dog, though he belittles Simon at every possible chance.  That, too, will change.  Nicholson is at his best as a blustery bigot, and Hunt’s single mother of a sick child helps to inject a more humane approach in Melvin.  Sometimes you have to check your situation and wonder about your own life, “Is this as good as it gets?”  4 cans.
100.  The Remains of the Day (1993) – Each time I see this masterpiece, I find something new in the story of an unspoken, unrequited love story between a butler and a housekeeper serving a large English estate.  Mr. Stevens (Anthony Hopkins) is the always-proper butler and major domo of the household, loyal to his master and able to manage the staff and the household with alacrity.  For someone always so present, he can practically make himself invisible.  He dares not take in the discussions between the German-sympathizing lord of the manor and his would-be diplomatic friends that take place between the two World Wars, lest he be distracted from his duties.  Not even the death of his father, a man formerly of his position but now resigned to mops and brooms in the household, can take him away from serving.  His counterpoint is Miss Kenton (the wonderful Emma Thompson), who serves by his side for many years, always calling him Mr. Stevens and answering to his Miss Kenton.  Will these two people acknowledge that their relationship is more than butler and head housekeeper?  Can they express their feelings when given an opportunity?  If you are a Downton Abbey fan, you will love this look at the downstairs folks that shows their dedication as well as their sacrifice of self to the duties of service.  5 cans.
101.  Running Scared (1986) – Ray and Danny (Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal) are two Chicago undercover detectives charged with apprehending drug kingpin Julio Gonzalez (Jimmy Smits).  They are best friends and running buddies, unconventional in their approach to police work, wise-cracking and nearly fearless.  The story here matters less than the chemistry between the two men and the action, with plenty of car chases, including a race along Chicago’s L train, and a shootout in the State Building.  Hines and Crystal have magic between them, which makes this buddy movie worth seeing.  If you want to see a couple of guys on the run in a much funnier movie, check out “Midnight Run.”  3 cans.
102.  The Last Movie Star* (2018) – Burt Reynolds plays Vic Edwards, fading former Hollywood star, who accepts an invitation to be honored at the Nashville Film Festival.  Little does he know that the festival is nothing more than a Vic Edwards Fan Club meeting of a small but loyal group of mostly men in their 20s who adore the star and his somewhat campy movies.  Vic is put out, but he uses the opportunity to walk – slowly – down memory lane, accompanied by the young woman (Ariel Winter) assigned to pick him up at the airport and drive him around.  This is a poignant story of a man who recognizes exactly where he is on the career path, who but can’t help looking back on what once was.  The producers managed to work in scenes from his actual movies, sometimes keeping the virile superstar walking with the present-day model, even showing off that infamous Playboy centerfold of Reynolds at his peak of popularity.  Wow, I guess we have all gotten old.  I found this on Amazon Prime (free to members).  3 cans.

103.  All the Queen’s Horses* (2015) – The most famous citizen of Dixon, Illinois, was President Ronald Reagan.  And then Rita Crundwell came along.  As a finance person in the city administration, Rita was responsible for paying bills, keeping accounts and practically every financial matter for Dixon.  Renowned as a horsewoman who owned many expensive, prize-winning quarter horses, Rita was well known to the townspeople.  But she became truly infamous when it was discovered in 2011 that she had embezzled $57 million from the town’s coffers over 20 years, enabling her to purchase real estate, take vacations and live the good life on the salary of a municipal worker.  I couldn’t help but wonder what the town budget was if no one noticed the disappearance of $57 million over time.  How did she do it and how was she caught?  It was remarkably simple to pull off:  She simply created a phony account with phony invoices and transferred the money from the city accounts to her own.  And no one questioned it.  This story’s red flags are blinding, yet the auditors and the banks with whom the town did business picked them up.  For more details, take a look at this documentary on Netflix.  Maybe those televised town meetings on the local community channel are more interesting than I thought.  3 cans.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Summer Silliness

If the bags under my eyes get any bigger, I will have to check them with my luggage when I travel because they won’t qualify as carry-ons.

Everyone who has ever lived in the Somerville area is familiar with the nightmare we call the Somerville Circle.  So what idiot decided it would be a good idea to put a new QuickChek – complete with a gas station, not just a store – right between the entrance to the circle from 202 and the exit to 206 South?  They might as well leave a patrol car and an ambulance in the parking lot, because with all the traffic in that area already, the last thing anyone needed is a business that is based on people pulling in and pulling out constantly.  This is absolutely an accident (actually, many accidents) waiting to happen. 

What is more frustrating than walking around Kohl’s with a 30% coupon in your pocket and not finding ANYTHING to buy?

I must toss and turn more in bed than I thought.  This morning, by the time I got out of bed (after a few trips to the bathroom), I had already logged three-quarters of a mile on my Garmin Vivofit fitness tracker. 

I recently subscribed to “Book Bub,” a service that sends me daily emails with recommendations of books I might like to read, based on categories that I select. The books are available digitally and they are inexpensive, so I can stock up and always have a “stack” of books on my Kindle.  The problem is that the email announcing the books comes EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Who can read that much?  I might have MORE time to read if I had fewer of these messages to review every day.  Books that look interesting are ones I may choose to download, but will I ever get around to reading them?  I’m beginning to feel like Lucy in the candy factory episode when the supervisor tells production to “speed it up!”

What a pleasure it is to have a working computer again!  My previous laptop was on Death Row for a long time.  It would be randomly unable to connect to the Internet or disconnect itself from the Internet, refuse to give me the sign-on screen (which I would get rid of in a heartbeat if I could figure out how) and periodically freeze when I was in the middle of working on a Word doc.  The new one turns on and gets right to work.  I don’t ask for much in life, so if this is what makes me happy, so be it.  I give myself props for doing the entire set-up and transferring over all my files all by myself.  I’m not ready to be the Help Desk for anyone, but at least I didn’t have to pay the Geek Squad for doing something I could do on my own.

For the first time in 46 years, I had to go to a drugstore and pay retail for BAND-AID Brand Adhesive Bandages.  My leftover stash from my 34 years at Johnson & Johnson finally diminished and the few remaining were so old that they still had strings!  Believe me, it was traumatic.  My colleagues with whom I shared this incident all suggested I go to the company store or order online, but neither the drive nor the shipping cost was worth it for a single box.  Let’s see how many years it takes me to get through this new batch.

It’s not fair that we must carefully care for our gardens, feeding and watering the flowers and the vegetables – even talking to them – and yet weeds can spring up anywhere, like through cracks in the sidewalk or driveway or even among the bushes, and they remain strong and hearty without getting any water aside from what Mother Nature supplies
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I’m sending a big thank you to the person who invented the stain stick.  I always seem to drop meal remnants on my tops – even though I generally use a dishtowel to protect my clothes.  A few swipes of the stain stick and the stain is gone.  Shout out (get it?) to the inventor!

Why do I always pick the wrong checkout line?  You know, the one with the person with 25 items in the 20-or-under line.  Or the one with the person who buys 40 things and has 35 coupons.  The one with the person who has to enter in his phone number because his card isn’t among the 50 things dangling from his keychain.  Or the one where the register tape needs to be changed, or it is time for the cashier to go on break.  ALWAYS.

And speaking of checkout lines, are there really that many people who buy beef jerky?  There are all different types of beef jerky, and the product is often on display while you are waiting to check out so they can entice you into buying it.  Am I the only person who has never eaten beef jerky and who cannot imagine even trying it?

Having an expiration date on a product – food or drug – would be even more helpful if you could actually find and read them.  I have spent 10 minutes examining a jar of spaghetti sauce just to see if I could locate the expiration date.  My jar of cocktail sauce features the expiration information in YELLOW type on the WHITE lid!  On some products, the package is coded.  If I am making dinner and want to use a can of whatever, how am I supposed to crack a code that is unintelligible?  I would like to see packages that I don’t have to hold up to a light so I can read the date.  And everything this side of paper napkins should be clearly coded.  OK, rant over!

I was disturbed recently to see an unconscionable increase in the price of my beloved Bumble Bee Tuna (premium albacore in the 2.5 oz packet) from $1.69 to $1.99 each.  Not that I am giving up tuna and not that I would EVER eat anything other than Bumble Bee.  Just don’t tell the company, because I’ll be eating their tuna when it costs $5 a package.  I didn’t grow up with the nickname “Tina Tuna” for nothing, you know.

The other day I actually cooked, after having taken some time off and relying on leftovers or eating out, etc.  I don’t mind cooking, but when I am done, the kitchen looks like the victim of a home invasion.  I practically have to repaint the room.  And as for the suggestion that I clean up as I go, I had two pans going at the same time, so cleaning wasn’t on the schedule with all that cooking going on!  Luckily, the house was thoroughly cleaned the next day, so it looks better than it did BEFORE the cooking began. 

Let’s face it – pretty much ANYTHING tastes good when fried.  I think I could put bread crumbs on a shoe, throw it into a pan of hot oil and it would be yummy.  (Recipe not included.)

I’ve reached the age when half of my freezer is filled with ice packs.  Ice packs for lunch bags, yes, but mostly ice packs for various body parts: One in a wrap that I can use when my knees ache, a small one with an elastic wrap I can use on my hands, and the latest addition, one that fits neatly over my eye to soothe it if it gets irritated from the monthly eye injections I get to combat macular degeneration.  Ice, ice, baby!

On a similar topic, I have a bag of various boots and braces I have worn for aching Achilles tendon issues and plantar fasciitis.  I also am the owner of several types of wrist braces for carpal tunnel.  I feel like I own a medical supply company!  This getting old is not for the weak.

I’m pretty sure the sound of my sneezes is different than it used to be. They sound more like my father’s sneezes, which were a very loud “CHA.”  I also seem in general to be making more sounds that are reminiscent of my parents, such as when I get up off the couch, bend over or lift something.  Let’s face it, this is the soundtrack of old age.

I recently had to load staples into my stapler.  The box, which I have had for years, contains 5000 staples.  That is a lot of staples, enough that I guess I will end up leaving them to someone in my will.

One of my many idiosyncrasies is the direction of my money.  All bills must be facing the same way and must always be in ascending order.  You don’t even get them from the bank this way anymore.
 
Kudos for whoever designed the nooks and crannies in an English muffin.  A little blueberry preserves or melted butter hiding in those places makes the muffin experience so yummy!

I just stupidly subscribed to New Jersey magazine, which means I will no longer have anything to read at the doctor’s office beyond Diabetes Digest.  And an offer to re-subscribe to Vanity Fair was too good to pass up (plus they threw in a Vanity Fair canvas tote bag, just in case I don’t have enough tote bags already).  I stopped getting the magazine, which I really enjoy, because I found myself not getting around to reading the articles (the fashion part is lost on me).  And here we go again.  I guess I will just bring it with me when I go to the doctor!

The things you have to do take up the time in which you have to do them.  Example – if you only have half a day to do all your errands, you will squeeze them in.  If you have a full day, you may not accomplish more than you did with half the time, but you just do the same things more slowly (and maybe stop for some refreshments).  True or false?

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Tina's July 2018 Movies (and more)

You can see that I had a little time on my hands in July, and I used it to watch 21 movies.  This month's haul includes a couple that I rated worthy of 5 cans (scoring is on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the highest).  New movies are marked with an asterisk and numbering picks up from the previous month.
73.  Darling Companion* (2012) – From the title, you would assume this is a love story between two people, but it is mostly about a woman’s unrelenting love for her beloved dog.  Diane Keaton is the wife of Kevin Kline, a smug, self-centered doctor who pays much more attention to his practice than he does to his wife.  When she brings home a rescue dog, Freeway, they both assume custodial duty, but he is always on his phone while taking the dog out for a walk.  When they are at their cabin in Colorado, he loses the dog, and she refuses to leave until they find the pet and rescue him all over again.  This is a light movie which probably plays better to pet lovers than it did to me.  But I love both Keaton and Kline as actors, so it was worth watching just this once.  2½ cans.
74.  The Four Seasons (1981) – M*A*S*H* star Alan Alda appeared in a number of movies around this time, all intended for grown-up audiences.  Here he co-stars with Carol Burnett as his wife and good buddies played by Len Cariou, Rita Moreno and Jack Weston as three couples so close that they vacation together.  When Cariou’s character has the temerity to divorce his bland wife (Sandy Dennis) and fall for a vivacious, younger woman (Bess Armstrong), he upsets the balance among the group.  Their respective annoying habits and insecurities come out through their banter and they can really get on each other’s nerves – as couples and as friends.  Armstrong’s character is the most honest, while the more “mature” adults are either too reluctant to express their issues or they go overboard.  This movie has its moments of warmth and humor in depicting married people whose relationships ebb and flow.  3½ cans.
75.  Billie Jean King: Portrait of a Pioneer* (HBO) – Billie Jean King is probably as well-known for what she did for the women’s movement in the 1970s in this country as she is for her tremendous accomplishments on the tennis court.  This documentary traces her rise from the courts of Southern California to the courts at the Old England Racket Club and beyond.  A champion at Wimbledon many times over – in women’s singles, doubles and mixed doubles – Billie Jean worked just as hard to ensure equal pay for women.  She not only ushered in big-time tennis for women professionals, she summarily dismissed Bobby Riggs in their spectacular “Battle of the Sexes.”  Even today’s tennis pros and the organizers of the sport understand the gratitude they owe to Billie Jean, as evidenced by putting her name on the stadium where the US Open is played.  I have to confess, BJK is one of my sheroes.  She should be one of everyone’s heroes.  4 cans.
76.  Glory Road (2006) – I am old enough (barely) and have been a basketball fan long enough to actually remember the events captured by this movie.  Josh Lucas portrays Don Haskins, hired as the new coach of Texas Western University in the late ‘60s, who does something unprecedented:  He recruits inner city players and improbably brings his inexperienced team to the NCAA Championship in an era when black players were barely considered for college play.  In the NCAA 1967 final against Adolph Rupp and his all-white Kentucky team, Haskins starts five of his black players.  In the course of the season, Haskins shows his team how to win – in the game and at life.  An uplifting, inspiring story that recalls how racism is everywhere – then and now.  4 cans.
77.  Catch & Release* (2006) – Jennifer Garner has to face the death of her fiancée while discovering that she didn’t know as much about him as she thought she did.  She learns more by hanging out and getting close with his roommates (Kevin Smith, Sam Jaeger and Timothy Olyphant), maybe a little too close.  Cute but nothing really worth writing about here.  3 cans.
78.  Die Hard 2 (1990) – I don’t watch many action movies, but the original “Die Hard” stands out for its action, its humor and for Bruce Willis as LA cop John McClane.  Here, instead of a building being taken over by terrorists, it is an airport in Washington DC, where McClane is waiting for the arrival of his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) when terrorists take over the airport.  McClane outwits the airport security team as well as the bad guys in once again saving the day (you didn’t think our hero was going to perish, did you?)  The first one in this series was so much better, and the last one was forgettable.  This one?  I could see this a dozen times and still not understand what the bad guys were trying to pull off.  And when McClane finds his way through the labyrinth of underground passageways to the right runway to stop the plane, I had to call bullshit.  I can’t even find my way around the airport with signs everywhere!  3½ cans.
79.  The Shawshank Redemption (1994) – When I posted on-line that I was watching this film for the umpteenth time, some wise friend noted, “You can’t NOT watch it.”  True.  It is the perfect movie, about strength and friendship, respect and hope -- and all under the guise of a bunch of criminals who live at a prison in Maine.  Tim Robbins is understated and touching as convicted murderer and former banker Andy Dufresne and Morgan Freeman is outstanding as his best buddy, Red.  If you have not seen this movie or if you don’t love this movie, I’m pretty sure we cannot be friends.  5 cans.
80.  A Star Is Born (1976) – It may be corny, it may be a cliché, but this version of the classic story of a rock star whose career is on the decline who meets and falls in love with a woman whose career is on the rise is compelling to see.  Barbra Streisand is at the height of her vocal prowess as Esther Hoffman, an unassuming woman who isn’t looking for love when John Norman Howard (an underrated Kris Kristofferson) bulls his way into her life and sets her on a path to stardom.  He is nothing but trouble, drinking excessively, using drugs, being stubbornly irresponsible (he doesn’t even know how many rooms are in his LA mansion), but he has a sweetness about him that makes it easy for her to fall for him.  He has been singing the same songs for a long time and his stardom is fading just as her bursts of creativity are making her well-known and a popular new music star.  There is a new version of this movie heading our way, starring Bradley Cooper (who also directed) and Lady Gaga in the lead roles, so I figured this was a good opportunity to brush up on the ASIB lure.  I loved it 40 years ago and still love it. 4 cans.
81.  Robin Williams: Come Inside my Mind* (2018) – I’m not sure there would have been room inside Robin Williams’ mind, which is filled with so many characters you’ve seen and hear in his epic comedy rants.  This HBO documentary traces the clever comedian’s life, growing up almost like an only child and wanting to win approval.  Moving from Michigan to Northern California put Williams in the right place at the right time, giving him the chance to develop his amazing comic chops and band with a brotherhood of comedians.  Well trained in drama, Williams fed his addiction to comedy with stand-up, followed by TV and movies, always entertaining his fellow thespians with material not exactly in the script.  Here a plethora of comedy comrades talk lovingly but realistically about his excesses – from drugs and booze to women and performing nonstop.  It is hard to watch his life story without feeling a tremendous sense of loss – for his family, his friends and his fans.  He was a gifted and amazing man and it is unlikely we will ever see a performer like Robin Williams again.  4 cans and a few tears shed.
82.  Shattered Glass (2003) – Young (25) writer Stephen Glass gets caught up in a fraud of his own making in this drama that is based on a true story.  A writer for The New Republic magazine, Glass (Hayden Christiansen) is a bright and eager-to-please young talent.  His insecurities manifest themselves with his constant asking of peers and superiors, “Are you mad at me?”  His boss Chuck (Peter Saarsgard) at first indulges his charm yet he is wary when Glass spins detailed accounts of amusing incidents.  Then one day Chuck gets a call from a digital magazine that raises doubts about a story Glass wrote on a “hackers” convention.  His notes are full of details, but it becomes increasingly clear that they are fabrications.  Glass has excuses and denials, but when Chuck accompanies him to the place where the alleged convention took placed, he knows for sure that Glass made it up.  This is a shattering story of an ambitious young person without journalistic integrity but he is certainly not the only prominent writer to have committed this journalistic impropriety (The Times’ Janet Cooke won a Pulitzer Prize for a story she largely concocted) – not that I am condoning it in any way.  Ironically, today Glass is a lawyer, living and working in Washington, DC, so his fall from grace was not exactly lethal.  4 cans.
83.  Die Hard (1988) – OK, since I watched Die Hard 2 earlier in the week, I thought I’d let myself go back to see where this franchise began.  John McClane (Bruce Willis) is the perfect wise-guy hero, a live action figure with great lines, whose estranged wife (Bonnie Bedelia) just happens to work in a building that is taken over by terrorists looking for millions in bonds.  There is plenty of action – shooting, crawling through elevator shafts, sending dead bodies flying out of skyscraper windows) – and how McClain not only survives by outwits, outplays and outlasts the bad guys is the stuff movies are made of.  Mindless but entertaining.  3½ cans, as action movies go.
84.  Absolute Power (1997) – Ten years after he played the Secretary of Defense in the terrific “No Way Out,” Gene Hackman is back to play the President of the United States, still flexing his power and looking for someone to blame when his illicit girlfriend is killed.  Clint Eastwood, who directed this suspenseful thriller, is an old jewel thief, a real pro at the top of his game, and he is immediately suspected of the murder when the authorities find that the woman’s jewels have been stolen.  Oh, he was there, alright, so he actually knows what happened but he is forced to stay one step ahead of the authorities and the bad guys looking to blame him.  This movie really held my attention as Clint’s Luther has to outfox the good and bad guys and protect his estranged daughter since the authorities want to use her to get to him.  4 cans.
85.  Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) – No, it isn’t Thanksgiving, but I was looking for something that was funny and light, and this Steve Martin-John Candy buddy movie fits the description perfectly.  Martin’s Neil Page is desperate to get home for Thanksgiving, and when he runs into traveling salesman Del (Candy), who is also headed home, the two are first rivals and then grudgingly friends as they face the worst travel adversities (including trains, planes and automobiles – plus a few trucks).  Del is a talkative guy who drives Neal crazy as the two are thrown together.  This is a guy you don’t want as a seatmate.  Anything that can go wrong here does go wrong, and in hilarious style. Candy driving down the highway in the dark while listening to Ray Charles singing “The Mess Around” is only one of the great scenes.  4 cans and a suitcase full of laughs.
86.   Beverly Hills Cop (1974) – This is the comedy-action movie that propelled Eddie Murphy from Saturday Night Live to movie star status.  His Axel Foley is a Detroit cop who is quick-witted and unconventional.  When a childhood friend returns home from California to visit Foley and is murdered, Axel heads west to track down the killers.  The Beverly Hills cops are not pleased to see him disrupting their version of law and order, but he eventually wins them over as his unorthodox methods lead them all to the bad guy.  Murphy plays all of his comedy cards here and gives a memorable performance.  This movie and “Trading Places” are still the best movies in his long resume.  The story alone rates 3 cans, but Murphy’s performance pulls this movie up to a 4.
87.  Witness to Murder* (1954) – Cheryl Draper (Barbara Stanwyck) lives close enough to Albert Richter (George Sanders) to see into his window, and one night she sees something she wishes she hadn’t – a murder.  She contacts the police and Lt. Matthews (Gary Merrill) and his partner come over to check things out.  In the meantime, however, Richter has moved the body to an empty apartment, leaving exactly no clues for the investigators.  The case starts to really go awry when the clever Richter starts gaslighting Ms. Draper by sneaking into her apartment and writing threatening notes on her typewriter, making it appear that SHE is sending them to him.  Even the cops think that she didn’t really see a murder, telling her that it was just a dream.   Eventually, she starts questioning herself: Could she have written the notes?  Did she really see the murder or was in her imagination?  I thought this was a very intriguing drama, and it reminded me of “Rear Window” and of a book I recently read, “The Woman in the Window.”  The moral of the story?  Close the curtains!  3½ cans.
88.  ET: The Extra Terrestrial (1982) – I typically have no interest in any kind of science fiction since I am so down-to-earth that I have trouble suspending my sense of reality.  But suspend away for this incredibly moving story about the gentle extraterrestrial creature who ends up on earth and in the home of Elliott (Henry Thomas).  Elliott is a typical kid, with an older brother and younger sister (an indescribably adorable Drew Barrymore at age 5 or so).  He is curious, and when the creature he ultimately names E.T. (for Extraterrestrial) shows up, he gets over his initial fear and becomes friends with this new creature.  This is not so much a sci-fi movie as it is a story of hope, love, friendship and acceptance.   When someone or something comes into your life that doesn’t look like you, talk like you or understand you, reach out, teach him and you may find a memorable experience that will enrich your life.  The superb acting by the kids in this movie, the amazing direction by Steven Spielberg, the fanciful script and the soaring music by John Williams all make this movie one of the best movies EVER.  5 cans, and don’t forget to phone home.
89.  Paper Clips (2005) – This remarkable documentary tells the story of Whitman Middle School in rural Tennessee, where, in 1999, students collected 6 million paperclips (the final tally was 29 million) to honor the victims of the Holocaust.  The collection demonstrated to them the enormity of the horrors of intolerance and hate and seems especially relevant in today's fractured US society. We cannot allow such dehumanization of any people to happen again.  Bring tissues.  I own the DVD but caught the movie on Jewish Life TV (JLTV) on Comcast. 5 cans.
90.  Won’t You Be My Neighbor?* (2018) – Mr. (Fred) Rogers became a TV icon with his children’s show that aired on PBS for decades.  His gentle approach to serious, everyday subjects won him acclaim from parents and parenting experts and adoration from kids.  His quiet conversation, delivered in a languorous way of speaking, gave children reassurance that each child is “special.”  By calling each child special, he wasn’t advocating that annoying “every kid gets a trophy” philosophy.  He promoted trust and faith in themselves.  As an ordained minister, he was well equipped to deliver important, impactful messages in a non-secular way.  He believed in love and trust and educated children with the kind of subtlety that contradicts the car crashing, video gaming mentality that is often what children see on TV.  He delivered good, sound and simple advice in the wake of national tragedies, such as the assassination of Robert Kennedy and the explosion of the Challenger aircraft.  Built from clips from his shows and interviews with Mr. Rogers, his colleagues, friends and wife, this documentary offers insight into a simple man with a simple message that had more depth than a submarine.  If Mr. Rogers were your neighbor, you would be assured of a quiet neighborhood.  3½ cans.
91. Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again* (2018) – If you go into something with really low expectations, it is less likely that you will be disappointed, and such was the case with this sequel of the original musical.  This festive romp about a young woman who gives birth to a daughter but isn’t sure which one of three men (Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Stellan Skarsgard) is her father, builds on the original.  Through flashbacks (nicely edited), we see Sophie in the present day (Amanda Seyfried) trying to reopen the hotel dreamed about by her late mother (Meryl Streep) in the land that she loved – Greece.  Flashbacks show Sophie’s Mom Donna (Lily James) at Sophie’s age and we meet the three young men who eventually became her father.  Her mother’s old bandmates (Christine Baranski and Julie Walters) are on hand for the festivities, still mourning the death of their friend the prior year.  The movie weaves in the ABBA songs well and the entire movie is, as a friend pointed out, the equivalent of a “beach read” – light on the drama and overall just a fun day at the movies.  If you want suspense or action, this movie is not for you.  But any movie that has Cher AND Meryl Streep is one I will always watch.  And, thankfully, Pierce Brosnan barely sings at all this time around.  3 cans.
92. Three Identical Strangers* (2018) – This movie proves the old adage “Truth is stranger than fiction.”  When Bobby Shafran enrolls in college, he is greeted as an old friend by people who are strangers to him.  That’s because they mistake him for his brother, Eddie, a brother whom he had never met.  A mutual friend tells him he knows Eddie and knows they share the same birthday.  Sure enough, Eddie and Bobby were given up by their mother and their adoption was arranged by the same agency.  Overjoyed to meet each other, the young men are even more surprised when a third  brother, David, surfaces.  The boys soak up their 15 minutes of fame, making TV appearances and hanging out at Studio 54.  But families have their secrets, and as close as the boys are (they lived together at one point and even started a club together), they have different backgrounds and very different adoptive families.  This story is gripping, with twists and turns and ethical issues you probably won’t see coming.  Oh, brother!  4 cans.
93.  Orange Is the New Black, Season 6* (2018) – I waited more than a year to see what happened to the ladies of Litchfield prison after last season’s riot and the murder of a guard.  And then I watched the entire 13-episode season in 4 days.  The new season is much less intense than the powerful drama of last year.  Overall it is lighter, brighter (they actually go outside for fresh air) and funnier (pretty much anything is funnier than a prison riot, I guess), BUT, now the inmates have been moved from minimum security to max, where the rules are harsher and where there are preexisting gangs built around the geography of the prison and not organized by race or nationality.  Some characters have disappeared this year, moved to other prisons, but erstwhile star of the show, Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), and her girlfriend Alex Vause (Laura Prepon), are still on hand.  Among the new characters are a pair of feuding sisters, a small but fierce tough woman and a psychopath.  Just as much of last year centered around inmate Tastee, who handled negotiations for the inmates, this year sees Tastee (Denise Brooks) in a prominent role, accused of the murder of the extremely abusive guard who was killed in the riot.  To reveal more would not be fair to the fans of the show who have yet to enjoy the whole series.  But I will say that my favorite line of the season, and maybe of the series itself, takes place when the inmates are allowed to make a phone call, and Black Cindy (Adrienne C.  Moore), a convert to Judaism, calls her rabbi and greets him with, “Rabbi, it’s your girl, Tova.”  Kudos especially to Brooks and Moore for stellar work this year.  (There is also a great line that has to do with the Wahlberg brothers, but since this is a family blog, I’ll refrain from sharing it.)  The only downside is that I have to wait another year to watch Season 7.  4½ cans.