Random Thoughts, October 2014 Edition

Here’s my theory and I know it is true:  Whatever you have to do takes up the time in which you have to do it.  So I can accomplish either 10 things on a very busy day or two things on a relatively free day. There are 24 hours in each day, and we manage to fill them up (and then some) every day, don’t we?  By the way, I have this same theory about kitchen cabinets:  No matter how many cabinets you have in your kitchen, you will find something to fill them up.

What are we supposed to do with all those miscellaneous vases that accumulate from flower deliveries?  Some are nice, most are cheap, and, not that I get flowers that often, they pile up.  My local florist was happy to take them off my hands and even gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers for bringing them in.  I said I would take the flowers — as long as they weren’t in a vase.

I think nothing of spending money on big things, but I will nurse an emery board along until there is nothing left with which to file my nails. 

If Beyoncé went into the home furnishings business, she could sell her collection at Bed, Bath and Beyoncé.

I saw this on Facebook so it isn’t an original thought, but it is certainly true:  I will carry 18 bags of groceries into the house at one time or die trying rather than make 2 trips.  Throw in a handbag and a camera just to make the load that much more impossible to bear and you have me in a nutshell.

Thank you, Dr. Oz, for your obvious concern about my health.  Every single day you send me a message about “a new fat buster that burns belly fat without dieting.”  I’m starting to think this whole Dr. Oz thing might not be legit.  Thoughts?

With all of the HGTV home sales and improvement shows I watch, I now think I have seen every home in the US and Canada.  And I should have a certification in carpentry and design just by osmosis.

I will be moving next year, which should give me ample time to get rid of my collections of things like those perfume strips that come in magazines, countless candles that I don’t burn (along with candleholders) and a collection of canvas bags that never seems to diminish despite my having donated a bunch to a good cause a few years back.  How some of this stuff made it through my last move (in 2007), I cannot fathom.  But this time I am ditching the receipts for the monthly mortgage payments from my first house — in 1983!  I don’t think I need them anymore.  Right?

Parking is getting more difficult these days.  At Weis’ markets, there are spaces blocked for people picking up their on-line orders.  At Kohl’s, there are spaces reserved for “Employee of the Month.”  At Buy, Buy Baby, spaces are allotted for people with infants and pregnant women.  It takes me longer the read the signs indicating the parking restrictions than it does to shop in the store.  The good thing is that having to park further away assures that I get some walking in.

My hair is becoming gray, and it is especially noticeable since I haven’t had it highlighted in a while.  It is growing on me, so to speak.  I wonder what it will look like when I am completely gray, because, at least right now, I’m not planning to color it.  So does that mean I have to get a new driver’s license and change my hair color listing from brown to gray? 

How can you tell whether a pumpernickel bagel is toasted?  Don’t wait for the punchline; I really don’t know the answer.

I think there is something drastically wrong with my car.  It cannot be parked straight.  Maybe it is a parallelogram instead of a rectangle, because it couldn’t be the driver (me), could it?

Where do we get the expression “a month of Sundays?”  I mean, every month has 4 Sundays, right?  So does the expression mean every day in the month is a Sunday?  I know it means a long time, but where did we get this expression?

Let the Ray Rice incident serve as a cautionary tale to show that you can go from hero to zero with one incredibly offensive and harmful act, changing your life and those around you forever.  Smarten up, people.  Domestic violence — or any violence — is just not acceptable.  Deplorable.

I cannot bring myself to toss out paper clips.  When I recycle paper, I always remove the clips and save them to reuse. 

For someone who doesn’t sew, I have a collection of buttons that could go into the Guinness Book of World Records.  I must have the extra buttons from every article of clothing I have ever bought.  I’m afraid to throw them out, because what if I need one? Of course, there’s always the cleaners, where they sew buttons on for me because I either can’t see the needle to thread it or I will stab myself in the finger.  Don’t laugh.  It has happened more than once.

Is it just me or does the name Ariana Grande sound less like a singer and more like a beverage from Starbucks?

I can’t be the only one who sees the irony of having the all-you-can-eat buffet Flaming Grill located next to Retro Fitness.

I wish these social media sites would stop asking me if I know So and So.  Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but do I need one MORE way of connecting with people?  There aren’t enough hours in the day!

There are few things I hate to do more or at which I am worse than scheduling, the bane of my existence.  Ask me for a particular date and I can check my calendar for a quick yes or no.  But ask me to gather 6 women for dinner or lunch and I'm overwhelmed with everyone's vacation schedules, commitments (legit ones, I know) and other plans.  I need a spreadsheet -- or an administrative assistant.

I truly believe that there is no one who knows the real words to "Louie, Louie," or who can figure out why that damn cake is melting in the rain in "MacArthur Park."  It amazes me that the latter song was recorded not just by actor Richard Harris but also released by the Disco Diva herself, Donna Summer.  You think maybe they got it and I didn't?

Speaking of music, like U2, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.  But I also can't remember what it was.

I see that Rutgers just created an endowed chair in communications that is named for Gloria Steinem.  That got me to thinking that if they ever named an endowed chair for me, it would have to be a recliner.

When did Halloween get to be such a big deal?  When I was a kid, we slapped on some concocted outfit and a mask, grabbed a bag (and were forced to wear a coat OVER our costumes if Mom thought it was too cold out) and headed out to collect out loot.  Now it seems that Halloween is big business.  Temporary stores pop up for the month leading up to the big day, lawns are festooned with inflatable characters sporting “Boo” signs, and at least one house I pass on my walk has a skeleton riding a bike on the front lawn.  I hate Halloween.  I don’t want to buy candy and keep in it my house, I don’t want the doorbell interrupting whatever I happen to be doing, and I basically just don’t want to be home.  So I am going out to dinner with like-minded, snarky friends, all of whom lack the true spirit of the holiday.  Get it?

I rarely get calls on my cellphone, so when I get a random call from an unknown source, it is probably going to be someone dying to give me a free cruise, a vacation home or a hard time.  I just registered my cell phone on the national Do Not Call hotline, which is a quick and easy thing to do.  When sales people call my phone, I ask them if they are aware of the Do Not Call registry and I tell them that it is illegal for them to call me since I am registered and I will report them.  The conversation usually comes to a quick halt.  These calls are SO annoying!

Is it just me or are those Matthew McConaghey Lincoln commercials just a tad creepy?

Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “If it were up to me…”  Then I realize that, in most situations, it IS up to me.

Tina's September 2014 Movies

With 14 hours of "The Roosevelts" occupying much of September, I was lucky to squeeze in a dozen movies this month (and I counted the 14-hour documentary on Teddy, Franklin and Eleanor as just one).  Movies not previously seen are marked with an * and the numbering picks up from the previous month.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 cans of tuna fish, 5 being the best.

115.  The Young Philadelphians (1959) — Anthony Judson Lawrence (Paul Newman) is raised as the scion of a Mainline Philadelphia family with a Princeton education and a career as a lawyer.  He falls in love with an equally privileged young woman (Joan, played by Barbara Rush), but is persuaded to delay their marriage by her father, who makes him a better offer.  It seems as if every Mainline person in Philadelphia knows everyone else, and all the old men look like the pictures on the “Community Chest” and “Get Out of Jail Free” cards in Monopoly.  Tony’s family secrets and his way of life are put on trial when he has to defend his college roommate (Robert Vaughn) in court against a charge of murder.  This drama has a great courtroom climax and enough of a plot to overcome its soap opera tendencies.  Newman is terrific and very handsome, the women are sophisticated and haughty, and Billie Burke, as a wealthy if somewhat ditsy client, is delightful.  I am guilty as charged of loving this movie.  4 cans.

116.  Spencer’s Mountain (1963) — I recall being more enamored by this family movie when I first saw it at age 13, but now it seems pleasant enough but more dated and corny.  Henry Fonda plays Clay Spencer, patriarch of a family of nine children, one of whom, Clay Jr. (James MacArthur), is graduating from high school.  Poppa and his wife Olivia (Maureen O’Hara) are proud but poor folk, living in beautiful Wyoming.  He wants to build a dream house up on Spencer’s Mountain, while she is just trying keep that brood fed.  Clay Jr. dreams of going to college, but can’t afford it.  Will he win a scholarship?  Can the family afford to let him leave the farm or will he end up working in the quarry with the rest of the Spencer clan?  MacArthur is way too old to be believable as a high school student/graduate, and Fonda channels characters from his other movies, such as “Mr. Roberts” and “On Golden Pond,” showing his gruff but loving side.  This movie is from writer Earl Hamner Jr. and was the basis for the long-running TV show, “The Waltons.”  2 cans, not because it was bad, but it moves slowly and seems a bit corny to me now.

117.  Harry & Son* (1984) — Paul Newman, who also directed, is Harry in this bittersweet story of an aging father and the son who can’t please him.  Harry is a widower, living with his son Howard (soft-spoken Robby Benson), the son who can’t hold a job and who aspires to be a writer.  Harry only knows hard work.  He’s been in construction for years and now demolishes buildings, but he gets spells where he can’t function properly.  As he tells his son, “I want to work and can’t.  You can and don’t want to.”  They are both frustrated with each other, but there is obvious caring and love between them.  The unlikely casting of a very young Ellen Barkin as a former girlfriend of Howard’s who is now pregnant, and Newman’s real wife, Joanne Woodward, as the local pet store owner who has an eye for Harry, round out the cast.  Newman is good as a man losing his grip and aspiring to better things for his son, and Benson is quiet and effective as hapless Howie.  3½ cans.

118.  When the Game Stands Tall* (2014) — I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker for sentimental sports movies, even though they are generally riddled with clichés even if they are based on real stories.  From “Brian’s Song” to “Rudy” to “Remember the Titans,” these movies typically have the obligatory health scare or death scene of someone dying far too young.  They normally have the underdogs positioned to come from behind and take home the big prize, even if that prize is — as in the case of “Rudy” — just getting into the game.  Here, too, Jim Caviezal plays real life high school football coach Bob Ladouceur, coach of the DeLaSalle Spartans, owners of a remarkable 151 game winning streak.  The team hasn’t lost in years but we know it wouldn’t be much of a movie without the drama of the streak being threatened.  Ladouceur works hard — almost tragically hard — not just to coach his team, but to help them develop into responsible young men who would do anything for each other and the team.  There is a lot of pressure on the players to uphold the standard set by each previous year’s team, and the town — and the parents — add to that burden, even as Ladoucer does not.  The movies isn’t as sentimental as some others I’ve seen, and, though it has heart, it doesn’t pack quite the dramatic punch as they do, either.  Let’s give it a field goal — 3 cans.

119.  Rudy (1993) — And speaking of “Rudy,” I couldn’t resist watching this classic when I spotted it on TV tonight.  If you don’t get a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye watching the diminutive Rudy finally get his chance to play football for Notre Dame, then you have no heart.  Sean Astin puts his all into playing Rudy, a kid determined to get into Notre Dame and even more determined to play football.  Despite being “5 foot nothing,” Rudy’s willingness to do anything for the team endears him to the other players (at least the ones who don’t feel that he is showing them up with his all-out effort at every practice), who insist to the coach that Rudy be allowed to dress for the final game of his senior year.  With only seconds left on the clock and the chant “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy,” reverberating around the stadium, the coach reluctantly lets Rudy into the game, his first time playing real football for Notre Dame.  This heartwarming movie, based on a true story, shows us what determination and persistence mean, and how sometimes dreams really do come true.  4 cans.

120.  Good Job: Stories of the FDNY* (2014) — Actor and former firefighter Steve Buscemi sits down with active and retired members of the New York Fire Department to discuss how they view and do their jobs.  The tough but touching documentary reveals the dedication and the trauma of fighting fires, of losing friends, of seeing the first loss of life, of noticing that the sheets on a child’s bed are the same as the sheets on your own child’s bed.  These brave men and women were born to do this job, or didn’t know what else to do with their lives.  Some women and African Americans entered hostile work environments among the 90% white male workplace, but they proved their mettle more than the “probies,” the probationary firefighters, and most cannot imagine doing anything else.  Many are now suffering the symptoms of illness directly related to the job or have watched their comrades die during or after the biggest loss of firefighters in the history of the FDNY, on September 11, 2001.  This is not a group of people prone to sharing their stories — even with their loved ones — but here they open up and enlighten all of us about their lives and what they do to serve the people of New York.  An excellent HBO documentary is the result.  4 cans.

121.  Beverly Hills Cop (1984) — Can it really be 30 years since Eddie Murphy brought brash and clever cop Axel Foley to the screen?  Here he is the proverbial fish out of water, a Detroit cop who goes to Beverly Hills in search of the killer of his childhood Detroit friend.  He can improvise his way through any situation, and, though the Beverly Hills Police Department is strictly a by-the-book precinct, he eventually wins their support, too.  There is comedy, drama and great 80s music here, and Murphy brings plenty of life to Axel Foley.  I hadn’t seen this movie in years, but it was well worth revisiting.  4 cans.

122.  Nixon By Nixon: His Own Words* (2014) — While there might be debate over what President Richard Nixon knew and when he knew it about Watergate, this much is clear:  He and several of his key aides knew of the existence of a recording system in his office, on his phone and on their own phones and they proceeded to speak candidly about Watergate and every other issue anyway.  It appears Nixon either forgot he was being recorded when he told Counsel John Dean that getting a million dollars to pay off the men involved in Watergate would be easy or that he felt that he, as President, could protect the recordings from ever being released.  Whether he was ordering the monitoring of Henry Kissinger’s phone calls, trying to collect dirt on Teddy Kennedy through the Secret Service, banning all reporters from the Washington Post from the White House or referring in a pejorative way to Jewish people and others, everything he said was recorded.  As we know from the tapes released at the time of Watergate as a result of a ruling by the Supreme Court, Nixon and his staff were deeply involved in the Watergate cover-up that led to his resignation as President.  This documentary provides a fascinating account of Nixon, not only from the recordings, but from interviews he conducted after he left office.  Who among us would want our private conversations made public?  But Nixon’s hubris led him to believe he could do or say anything with impunity because he was the president.  Now we know it’s not the crime, it is the cover-up that gets you in the end.  And we know that recordings — today video, then audio — will relay the truth.  These recordings, released in 2013, reveal much about the abuse of power.  Fascinating and sad.  4 cans.

123.  Blow Out* (1981) — This movie is neither the sequel to “Shampoo” or the prequel to “Hairspray.”  John Travolta plays Jack, a sound engineer who is out one evening recording sounds when he sees a car careen off a bridge after what sounds like a gunshot — not a blowout.  He jumps into the river and rescues a young woman who was a passenger in the car.  The police seem curiously uninterested in the woman (Nancy Allen) since they are trying to protect the reputation of the dead driver, a political candidate, a married man who wasn’t supposed to be with the woman in the first place.  But Jack can’t let it go, since he knows the accident wasn’t an accident.  John Lithgow and Dennis Franz play the bad guy and a mercenary photographer who staged the incident to blackmail the candidate.  This movie has its share of suspense but seems a little hard to believe at times.  Still, director/writer Brian DePalma knows how to grab our attention, and Travolta gives what I’d call a “sound” performance.  Get it?  3 cans.

124.  The Roosevelts: An Intimate Portrait* (2014) — This Ken Burns documentary occupied much of my time this month with its 7-part, 14-hour airing on PBS.  The rich history of the Roosevelts — from Theodore to Franklin and Eleanor — is lushly documented, replete with thousands of photographs and hundreds of film clips on the two presidents and one of the most famous women of the 20^th century.  Their family histories and political ambitions are thoroughly explored against the culture and tenor of the times in which they lived.  Teddy was surely a “rough rider,” a man who loved to hunt and kill animals but who also set aside massive tracts of land for preservation.  He built the Panama Canal and fought in the Battle of San Juan Hill, perversely proud that his regimen suffered the most causalities.  Franklin and Eleanor, distant cousins to each other and related to Teddy, had far different upbringings but married young and stayed together despite his infidelities, which might have ruined his political aspirations.  Eleanor, meek and abandoned as a child, grew into her own social consciousness and added her views to Franklin’s plans to bring the country out of the Great Depression upon his election as President in 1932.  She forged her own life as he continued to serve as president through World War II and until his death just after he was elected to an unheard-of fourth term in 1944.  Much of this story is known, but no one can document a story and make a grand tale seem intimate better than Ken Burns and his collaborators.  This series is a “good deal.”  4½ cans.

125.  To Catch A Thief (1955) — When a cat burglar targets wealthy women vacationing along the French Riviera, suspicion naturally points to “retired” burglar John Robie (a dashing Cary Grant).  To prove his innocence, Robie must catch the real thief, while simultaneously warding off the police and the doubts of beautiful young heiress (Grace Kelly).  With Grant and Kelly as the leads and the backdrop of the gorgeous French Riviera, who even cares about the plot?  The story is satisfying, even if it is not that difficult to figure out whodunit.  3½ cans. 

126.  Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (2010) — In light of the recent passing of comedy icon Joan Rivers, I thought it was the right time to view this documentary again.  Bawdy and profane, Joan Rivers was one of the few women to do stand-up comedy and to hold her own against the countless men commanding the stage and TV shows.  Once the chosen one as permanent guest host of Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show,” Joan became persona non grata when she accepted Fox’s offer of a show of her own.  Johnny never spoke to her again, her show was quickly cancelled and her husband Edgar committed suicide.  All of these events are covered here and lend a sense of sadness to Joan’s life of desperation, as she tried to keep her “”book” filled with nearly any kind of gig that is offered to her.  She maintained a sumptuous lifestyle, living in an apartment she described as one where Marie Antoinette would live.  She shows us the myriad of card catalogs containing virtually every joke she ever wrote and performed.  She was tireless, fearless and ruthless — about other people and about herself.  She was, as the title says, a piece of work.  And very, very funny.  3½ cans.