Tina's May 2015 Movies

I saw a small and relatively undistinguished bunch of movies in May.  Now that the summer blockbuster movies are upon us, that means less time for me spent seeing new movies (I rarely see blockbusters) and more time for rentals, documentaries and others.  As always, numbering picks up from the previous month, and movies that I had not seen previously are marked with an asterisk.  Ratings are based on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the highest rating.

55.  Rumor Has It* (2005) -- A very appealing cast of performers and a kind of sequel to my favorite all-time movie, “The Graduate,” promised to be a winner.  But the convoluted story and the creepy factor that Sarah (Jennifer Anniston) is sleeping with Bo (Kevin Costner) just after he swears he is NOT her father was enough to make me cringe.  Her good guy boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo) wants to marry Sarah, but she is suddenly attracted to the man who slept with both her grandmother (Shirley Maclaine in the Anne Bancroft role, looking indignant) and her late mother.  I loved “The Graduate,” but when it comes to “Rumor Has It,” I’d rather listen to Adele sing the song of the same name.  3 cans.
56.  First Wives Club (1996) – I can hardly believe 20 years (almost) has passed since Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Diane Keaton sought revenge on their cheating husbands in this cheesy romp.  Hawn and Midler virtually burst through the screen – Hawn with collagen-laced lips first – to validate the old adage “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” – as they team up and plot to take down their ex-husbands by the wallet.  Keaton, on the other hand, has to rise up from being an understanding apologist and get strength from the others to fully participate in their scheme, but she does so with relish.  This is not a good movie, but it provides enough gusto and woman-power to overcome the sight gags and cheesy plot, and the stars do shine.  But cool it on the collagen, Goldie, because your lips look like suction cups.  3½ cans, mostly for the cast and the Lesley Gore anthem, “You Don’t Own Me.”
57.  Boychoir* (2015) – This new movie has a little bit of everything in it: The story of the outsider, Stet (Garrett Wareing) trying to fit in; the story of a tough but caring teacher (Dustin Hoffman, thankfully short of the insane music instructor of “Whiplash;”) kids with talent and an opportunity to use it that quickly evaporates because of their age (they are members of a boys’ choir, and eventually those high notes will be a thing of the past).  But I went to see it mostly because one of the lead boys is played by Dante Soriano, Hillsborough’s finest and the grandson of my dear, departed friend, Rose Drabich.  Dante acquits himself well in the role of Stet’s first real friend, who is kind enough to show the newcomer how to read music so he can better utilize his amazing voice.  Stem is a lost boy from Texas, poor, living with his alcoholic mother and without contact from his father (his father’s close encounter with the boy’s mother is a secret unbeknownst to his “real” family).  A teacher (Debra Winger, totally unrecognizable even to such a film buff as me) who knows he has talent tries to hook him up with the visiting National Boy Choir, but he leaves without auditioning.  Only when his mother dies in a car accident and his father is summoned to take care of young Stet do the realities of the system play out.  The father (Josh Lucas) is rich, and to keep his secret son away from his family, he in essence buys the boy a spot at the Boy Choir School, where his raw talent must be honed along with his rowdy behavior.  More than once it appears young Stet will be thrown out, but this isn’t THAT movie.  He learns to overcome the obstacles and hit the high notes.  So does the movie.  It unfortunately did not get a distribution deal, so it will not play at the local multiplex, and that’s a shame, because it is a good story (if a little corny) and makes a fine family film.  I can think of at least one person who is watching from high above a movie theater, and she is smiling down on her grandson Dante and his cast mates and giving this film a big thumbs up.  This one’s for you, Rose.  3½ cans.
58.  500 Days of Summer (2009) – Tom Hanson (Joseph Gordon Leavitt) is a greeting card copywriter with dreams of being an architect and even more important dreams of being in love.  When Summer (Zooey Deschanel) starts working in his office, he is almost immediately smitten, and the two strike up a dating relationship that he would like to define as a couple and she would rather think of as a friendship with benefits.  She makes it clear to him that she isn’t interested in a relationship, but he cannot help himself in falling for her and needing to know where they stand.  The movie traces their coupling and uncoupling unconventionally, using various points unchronologically along the way to check in on their status.  He’s happiest just going to Ikea or a museum with her, feeling like he has her as a girlfriend, but her free spirit and lack of commitment makes it that much tougher on him.  Gordon-Leavitt shows his charming and morose sides as Tom, buoyed by love and hope and refusing to realize that he cannot reign in Summer.  Deschanel is quixotic and sweet and you just wish they would fall in love with each other – but that is not this movie.  Still, 3½ cans even without a happy ending.
59. A Little Romance (1979) – 13-year olds Daniel (Thelonius Bernard) and Lauren (Diane Lane – yes, THAT Diane Lane, from “Unfaithful”) meet on the streets of Paris.  He’s a native, she’s an American living abroad with her self-absorbed actress mother (Sally Kellerman) and second stepfather (Arthur Hill).  He loves movies, she’s bored and neglected, and they find each other and quickly fall in love.  But she knows she will be leaving France for the States, so they decide to venture to Venice and share one kiss under a famous bridge at sunset, aided by a charming older man, Julius (Sir Lawrence Olivier), who finances the trip through his successful career as a pickpocket.  The charm of this movie cannot be overstated, from the young leads to the veteran Olivier.  I’ve been a fan of Lane’s for years, and although I cannot recall any other movies starring young Mr. Bernard, this one is good enough to last a lifetime.   Let’s face it, we all need a little romance in our lives.  4 cans.
60.  Bessie* (2015) – I guess if you are going to sing the blues, you had better be able to draw on your personal experience, and singer Bessie Smith has plenty to draw on.  Queen Latifah gives an outstanding performance (she is in virtually every scene) as she traces the story of a singer whose career rose and fell, who indulged her tastes in men and women and drink, who suffered discrimination and poverty as well as great success, and through it all, stayed strong.  Monique co-stars as Bessie’s rival and erstwhile friend, Ma Rainey, another woman who has earned the right to sing the blues.  4 cans, and thanks, HBO, for a docudrama well worth seeing.
61.  Animal House (1978) – It had been a while and I was in the mood for a nostalgic trip down Fraternity Row, especially after having seen the horrifyingly disgusting bathroom at the house my nephew shared with his fraternity brothers.  Good to know that no progress has been made since John Belushi, Tim Matheson, Peter Riegert and the other Deltas pursued knowledge at famed Faber College circa 1961.  The fact that I know EVERY line in this movie is not a deterrent to seeing it again.  In fact, some of them seem particularly apropos these days (“Seven years of college down the drain” and “It’s not over until we say it’s over.”).  This movie is a classic and applies to anyone and everyone who ventured onto a college campus in the past 50 years and ended up fat, drunk and stupid at a fraternity party.  Hilarious, memorable and right on target.  5 cans (of beer, of course) to one of the funniest movies of all time.
62.  In & Out (1997) – Greenleaf, Indiana, is shaken to its mushy core when beloved English teacher Howard Bracket is outed by a former student during his Oscar acceptance speech.  After all, Bracket (the immensely talented Kevin Kline) is just about to marry his long-time love Emily (the underrated Joan Cusack), so he can’t possibly be gay.  Or could he?  There is his Barbra Streisand fetish, the fact that he picked out Emily’s bridal gown, and the three-year engagement and wait before, well, never mind.  When TV reporter Peter Malloy (Tom Selleck) comes to town to cover the story, Howard is less sure about himself than ever.  I don’t want to reveal the plot of this comedy gem, but Cusack gets off two of the best lines.  Life in a small town has never been the same.  I once spent a rainy weekend with a dear friend watching this move three times – and we still laughed out loud.  It is not of the same humor as the gross but hilarious “Animal House” above, but it packs a punch and a punchline.  And Kline makes it all worthwhile.  4 cans.
63.  Working Girl (1988) – With “a head for business and a bod for sin,” Tess McGill (Melanie Griffiths) has great ideas for mergers and acquisitions at her investment bank, but no one will take her seriously because she is a lowly secretary.  But when her autocratic boss Katherine (Sigourney Weaver) is out of commission following a skiing accident, Tess moves into the office and the life of Jack Trainor (Harrison Ford) to broker a bid deal.  It turns out Tess herself is a big deal, taking the lead and showing her stuff, advancing far from the girl with the big hair on the Staten Island Ferry.  I haven’t seen suits with such big shoulder pads since – well, since I got rid of my own earlier this year!  Griffiths has just the right tone here, demonstrating a quiet resolve and plenty of smarts for someone who has been tested by the poor treatment of her colleagues.  Trainor (get the name?) only knows her as an exec, and the woman he meets is powerful and lovable.  This is a great Mike Nichols film that is only enhanced by Carly Simon’s “Let the River Run” theme song, New York/Staten Island locales, and terrific performances – including a small but funny part by Joan Cusack, who, as in “In & Out,” gets the best lines (“Sometimes I dance around in my underwear. It doesn’t make me Madonna.  Never will.”)  3½ cans.
64.  Runaway Bride (1999) – There are two problems with this movie.  First, despite the leads and director (Julia Roberts, Richard Gere and director Garry Marshall), it is NOT its predecessor, “Pretty Woman.”  That film was warmer and yet edgier than this one, whose second problem is that it marches so ploddingly toward its inevitable conclusion.  Is there anyone out there who hasn’t figured out that the two stars will end up together?  Roberts is Maggie, a bride who has left too many men at the altar, and Gere is Ike, a reporter who writes about her less than stellar track record and then comes to her small town (where he whistles the theme from “The Andy Griffith Show”) to keep the story alive after his first attempt costs him his newspaper job.  Will she go through with her latest engagement and marry the guy?  I can’t even bother to answer that one.  The attractive leads are always worth watching, but you yearn for them to have more meat to chew on than this painful plot provides.  One more note:  This movie is my third consecutive one with Joan Cusack, although her part here is small and unworthy of her comic chops.  3 cans.

You Know You’re Getting Old...

This October I will turn 65.  Yes, I’ve heard all of the “60 is the new 50” talk, and plenty of “65 today isn’t like 65 used to be,” but still, 65 SEEMS like it should be old even if people keep insisting that it really isn’t old.  After all, can I really call myself “middle-aged” at this stage?  If this is the middle, is 100 the end?  Let’s admit it, 65 is at least GETTING OLD.  For those who aren’t there yet (also for those who are), I offer this list of telltale signs that we are GROWING OLD.  But at least we’re still growing, right?

You Know You’re Getting Old When:

You’re not so much worried about your hair turning gray as you are about your hair disappearing entirely. Yes, ladies, I’m talking to you.

You seriously consider a visit to the Wizard on Park & 73rd for a little “work.”

You notice that the husbands of many of your friends look old enough to be their fathers.

You complete a survey and enter your demographic information into that box that reads “65+,” knowing full well that you are demographically undesirable to anyone who isn’t selling life monitors, reverse mortgages, adult diapers or Polygrip.

You use the phrase “back in the day” frequently.

You realize that three of the Supreme Court Justices are younger than you (Sotomayor, Roberts and Kagen).

You have been friends with people for more than 45 years and you didn’t meet them until you were in or out of college.

You’re surprised when the mother or father of someone you know passes away because you can’t help but think, “She still had a father?”

Your conversations with your BFFs always include a segment on medical issues.

You need a doctor for some specific or general ailment and all you have to do is ask friends for a recommendation because they either have, had, or know someone who has or had the exact same thing.  First, however, you and your friends diagnose the ailment yourselves.

You equate the word “senior” with “citizen” and then with “discount” and no longer with someone in 12th grade or graduating from college.

You’re only too happy to provide a urine sample at the doctor’s office because you really need to go.  Again.

You are colder or hotter than all of the younger people in the room.

Your friends all have grandchildren, some whom are in college or married.

You find yourself listening to ‘60s radio stations because the “Oldies” stations play music from the ‘90s that isn’t from your era.

You listen to old songs on the radio and they transport you to another time in your life.

You can recall when there were only 48 states.

You remember skate keys, the Princess phone, party lines (Note for the young people, this had nothing to do with parties), skipping stones, playing jacks and hopscotch and when cars had no seatbelts.

You’re still disappointed that nothing good is on TV, even though there are hundreds of channels.  In your day, there were channels 2-4-5-7-9-11 and 13, and there really wasn’t anything on.  Oh, and back then, YOU were your own remote, having to get up and manually change the channel.  So now you can change the channel remotely, but there’s still nothing on.  But at least you don’t have to get up.

You yearn for the days the milkman came to the house so you didn’t have to go out and buy milk.

You still have clothes you bought in the 80s and you think you had better hold on to them, just in case they come back in style.

You don‘t bother to wash your hair some days and justify it by saying that “it is too dry anyway” when your hair has been oily for your whole life.

You can’t bring yourself to throw out stuff you have been saving for years, even though it has no monetary value and the sentimental value is more habit than anything else.  This is why I still have my mother’s wooden spoon and shrimp fork.

You use the term “What’s her name” to identify someone and your friends know exactly who you mean.

You are grateful when you go to an event and everyone is wearing nametags.  And if they aren’t, you introduce yourself to them because you assume they won’t remember your name just as you don’t remember theirs.

You look around the room and feel relieved if you aren’t the oldest one in the crowd.

You decry the abuse of language and punctuation that is common in the vernacular (or is that just me?) and you relish the chance to use the word “vernacular.”  (Again, just me?)

You can’t put up with bad service by a waiter, by delivery people or by someone in a store because your lifetime quota of patience has been depleted.

You cannot tolerate unwanted phone calls by people trying to scam you or sell you things you don’t want – especially since you are on the Do Not Call List.

You don’t call people before 9 AM or after 9 PM, even though you can’t sleep.  In fact, virtually nobody you know can sleep through the night, although we can all sleep through a movie or TV show.

You rarely need to set the alarm because you can’t sleep past 6 AM.

You relish a nap because, well, see above.

You can recall Derek Jeter’s rookie season.  And you remember when Joe Torre was a player.

Forget Eleanor Roosevelt and Madam Curie.  Your new heroine is Maxine on the Hallmark cards because says exactly what she is thinking.

You watch reruns of “The Golden Girls” and think, “Dorothy was only 60 in this episode?”

You survey the room or the arena in hopes of finding a handrail if you have to walk up or down the stairs.

You and everyone you know is moving to single-story houses or at least to houses where the master bedroom is on the first floor.

You need an inordinate amount of light in a room to read, cook or function at all.  Operating rooms don’t have this much light.

You need a teenager or someone in his/her 20s to help with your phone and computer.

You think “these kids today” are crazy for going out at 11PM or later and you resent anything that requires you to come home after dark.

You have reconsidered the “early bird special” and decided that it isn’t so pathetic after all.  Who wants to wait on line at a restaurant?  And besides, this way you can be home before dark.  Or at 6 PM.

You notice that people in your circle spend a lot of time watching PBS and the History Channel.

You are resigned to the fact that your life revolves around moisturizing, a must in your daily routine.

You get all dolled up – nice dress, right jewelry, hair, make-up, shoes – and look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Let’s go.  It doesn’t get any better than this.”

You can’t remember if you wore this outfit the last time you saw these people and then you realize that if YOU can’t remember, they probably can’t remember either.

You walk into a room and you don’t know why, so you return to the previous room to remind yourself, and then you get distracted by something else and never end up back in the room you went to and didn’t know why.

You always have tissues in the house.

You cherish your friends, rely on them, confide in them, complain to them, listen to them, plot revenge with them and thank God for having them.

You realize that you probably won’t fulfill those dreams of climbing mountains or backpacking through Europe if you haven’t done them by now, but…

You realize that you are still here, you’ve probably faced down a challenge or two, or raised your kids, or done your job with some degree of distinction, and you have every reason to be feel proud and damn lucky.  What the hell – who’s better than you?  And there’s always SOMEONE older than you.

Tina's April 2015 Movies

April was the cruelest month for me for movies, as I managed to squeeze only six into my busy schedule.  Still, several were very worthy entries, and one is on my list of All-Time Favorites.  As always, movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, five being the highest, and movies marked with a * are ones I had not seen previously.  Numbering picks up from last month.

49.  The Woman in Gold* (2015) – Maria Altman (the marvelous Helen Mirren) was forced to flee from Austria as a young bride when the Nazis took over.  Hitler’s henchmen forced out the Jews and stole countless pieces of art, including a Gustav Klimpt painting of Maria’s favorite aunt, Adele, which hung in her family’s apartment for years.  In the1980s, following the death of Maria’s sister and with Maria living in America, she enlists the help of a young lawyer and family friend, Randall Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds) to reclaim the painting that was now hanging in a museum in Austria.  This incident, a real life story that was portrayed in the outstanding documentary “The Rape of Europa,” took place just at the time a movement started seeking the return of the artwork confiscated by the Nazis to the rightful owners.  Randy and Maria face seemingly insurmountable odds to pursuing their case, but they persist in both the US and Austria.  Better than “The Monuments Men” (the George Clooney film), this movie is about the horror faced by the Austrian Jews, the imperviousness of the art execs who insist the painting is rightfully theirs despite its circuitous route to their museum and about the difficulty of going home and facing a dark past.  4 cans.

50.  Star Man (1984) – Jeff Bridges has always been a kind of quirky actor to me, and here he finds a perfect part for that quirkiness as an alien who crashes to earth and assumes the body of a young man who has passed away.  Jenny (Karen Allen), the dead man’s widow, takes him in and tries to help him rendezvous with the mother ship so he can return to his planet.  Bridges’ body twitches and moves oddly as he becomes less alien and more human.  Some 30 years after seeing the movie, I still remember the alien learning to drive and claiming that he understands that the red light means stop, the green light means go and the yellow light means go very, very fast.  3½ cans.

51.  Frank Sinatra: All or Nothing at All* (2015) – Thanks to HBO and Alex Gibney for this detailed documentary on the life of Ole’ Blue Eyes.  The emphasis is on the “All” here as Gibney uses a treasure trove of interviews and old footage to cover Sinatra’s rise from boyhood in Hoboken through his reign as the king of the Bobbysoxers, into the swinging ‘60s and, finally to the autumn of his years.  There were the marriages to the loyal Nancy, the irresistible Ava Gardner, the strange match with Mia Farrow and finally to his last wife, Barbara.  His career as a singer and actor had its ups and downs as Sinatra’s popularity waned in the advent of rock music but thrived in Vegas and on Capitol Records.  Who can forget Frank, Dean, Sammy and the rest of the Rat Pack, the ties with the Mob, the jaunty hats, the womanizing, palling around with JFK, and finally his coronation as the Chairman of the Board?  Through it all, he did it HIS way.  4 cans.

52.  The Queen (2006) – Helen Mirren Month continues for me, as she stars in her Oscar-winning role as Queen Elizabeth in the aftermath of the death of Princess Diana.  Raised to be royal, the Queen was not an admirer of the attractive and popular princess, particularly after her divorce from Prince Charles.  HRH did not approve of Diana’s lifestyle or dating habits.  She felt that holding a public funeral for the late Princess was not appropriate, and, although new to working with Prime Minister Tony Blair, she never hesitates to draw the line.  But she comes under fire from the public, who increasingly see her as cold and unyielding when she refuses to publicly acknowledge Diana’s passing.  Blair becomes the conscience for the country and is in the awkward position of having to take the Queen in hand and force her to mourn publicly while defending her to the media and his own henchmen.  4 cans.

53.  My Cousin Vinny (1992) – I hadn’t seen the movie is a very long time and I forgot how funny it is.  Vincent LaGuardia Gambini (Joe Pesci, with a huge head of hair) is the ultimate fish out of water, a stereotype of every Italian, male New Yorker, who finds himself in an Alabama courthouse defending his young cousin (Ralph Macchio, post-“Karate Kid”) and his friend on a murder charge.  The “yoots” accidentally left a convenience store with an unpaid can of tuna fish (author’s note: How could I NOT like this movie?) but are identified as the same two men who killed the clerk.  Vinny, armed with just weeks of legal experience after finally passing the bar exam on his sixth try, rolls into town with girlfriend Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) and a wardrobe of black clothing and leather jackets.  The Judge (a droll Fred Gwynne) doesn’t appreciate Vinny’s demeanor or attire, and keeps holding him in contempt.  The byplay between Vinny and his fiancée is priceless, as is his relationship with the judge.  Since this movie is a comedy, you just know Vin will come through for the boys – with a big assist from the future Mrs. Vincent LaGuardia Gambini.  Well worth watching.  4 cans.

54.  The Way We Were (1973) – I have watched this movie countless times (it is in my Top 5 All-Time Favorites), but this time I tried to concentrate on the political aspects of the story.  I’ve always been distracted by the impossible good looks of Robert Redford and the histrionics of Barbra Streisand, playing polar opposites who fall in love.  She is an outspoken (understatement) radical who supports the Communist Party in college, where he is the All-American athlete.  Can politics and romance co-exist?  The problem is that he is talented but not committed to anything, and she knows he is better than he seems.  All I know is that the line in the theme song is true for all of us:  “Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?  If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, could we?  Would we?”  It calls into question what we remember from our younger selves and what we treasure.  For me, it’s the laughter I’ll remember from my own life – but there is no laughter.  5 cans.