I just read a report about a bank robbery in my town. The alleged thief was tracked down in the cab he used for a ride. Huh? A well-marked taxi is probably not a good choice for a getaway car. My friend suggested he needed the money to pay for the cab.
If I eat Pepperidge Farm Goldfish for lunch, can I claim it was seafood?
Oh, how I love a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice!
Can someone please tell the residents of my senior community that it is OK to drive faster than 10 MPH in the development? Thank you.
I have been following an exercise series called “Easy Fitness Over 50” online and on YouTube. The exercises are designed for older people – like me! – to improve their core strength, fitness and mobility and they require no special equipment to do. So far, I have seen no improvement. I guess just watching isn’t enough. I need get off the recliner and actually do the exercises!
My HP printer must be British. It lists my print options as black & white or “colour.”
You make an appointment with the doctor and you get an email message directing you to sign on to the practice’s portal, where you will find a message that simply thanks you for making the appointment. You are directed to the portal for your test results and to order refills on your prescription. With all those capabilities, why did I have to fill out a paper form at my cataract surgeon’s office that lists my name, SS number, address, meds, etc.? I reminded the receptionist that the doctor operated on me twice in 2022, so surely they must have my information. Nope, you have to fill out the form anyway. Then she said that if I need refraction, I had to sign that I would pay for it. Show of hands, do you know what that means? I didn’t and told her. (It is when they make you look through the lens machine and say whether you can see better with A or B. Who knew?) PS, I didn’t need refraction and my insurance would have covered it if I had needed it. But filling out the form – including the many prescriptions I take daily – was a pain!
You know you are too impatient if you can’t wait for the soft close cabinet doors to close.
We can all stop feeling guilty about not having homes as neat and well-organized as home expert and author Marie Kondo, who promoted her advice to get rid of things that don’t “spark joy” in your home. She now admits that with 3 kids, even her home gets messy. Of course, her idea of messy and my idea of messy are probably not the same. I wonder if she found 5 potato peelers in her gadget drawer like I did. Truthfully, none of them sparked joy!
With all of the technology used in our world and in sports, why do football official still use a chain to measure 10 yards for a first down? Shouldn’t there be lasers that could do that?
I watched the Super Bowl (sorry, Eagles fans) and was waiting for the sheer excitement of the halftime show with Rhianna. But instead, I was a nervous wreck watching her on that giant floating platform and trying to see if she was secured by a harness so she wouldn’t fall and die in front of 110 million people. Then I was distracted by what turned out to be – as I suspected – a baby bump! Was she, wasn’t she pregnant (she was and is)? So maybe that’s why the performance lacked energy. She tired!
I’m not a devotee of Super Bowl commercials, but a few stood out for me this year. I particularly liked Bradley Cooper in a pink T-Mobile shirt cracking up with his mother and I loved JLo finding hubby Ben Affleck working at the drive-in window at Dunkin’ Donuts and telling him to “grab me a glazed.” I especially did not like or appreciate the spots promoting Jesus (“He gets us”) and Scientology. On the Jesus ones, I don’t have a comment on content, but a question about how much good could be done with the money spent on making the commercial and airing it if it were used to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, help the homeless. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that all toilets should be high ones and all bathrooms should have grab bars near the toilet and in the shower. Yes, I am officially OLD!
I have the absolute luxury of being able to declare a “reading day,” a time when the TV is off, my phone is put aside, and I dive into what I hope is a juicy and rewarding book. I don’t like reading for short periods before bed because I comprehend content better in larger chunks. I realize what a gift this is, with no distractions and the ability to spend a solid block of time reading. I am very fortunate indeed.
Speaking of reading, my reading glasses broke the other day in the middle of a Zoom call. Luckily, I had a spare pair, but then I decided I needed a back-up for the back-up pair, so I checked for reading glasses on Amazon. That evening I ordered a set of 6 pairs, all different colored frames, all one prescription, with blue light blocking, for $16 (free shipping). The pair that broke cost me $32 – for ONE PAIR! The new set of 6 pairs arrived less than 24 hours later. I would not have been able to get to Walmart or CVS to look for a new pair that fast. That service is absolutely amazing and I’m wearing them now.
Tom Brady retired (again) from football. Or is this just a plug for his new movie, “80 for Brady?” He retired this year on the same date he retired last year – when he still had a wife and kids living with him. Sure, he’s the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All-Time), but he lost his family because he wanted to hang out with a bunch of sweaty guys in a locker room for another year. And before we start a Go Fund Me for #12, be aware that he signed a $375 million, 10-year contract with Fox Sports to broadcast NFL games. Much respect but go for real this time.
On a cold, nasty, miserable day, I want to crawl into the clothes dryer, get warm, come out shrunken in size and with no wrinkles.
When you lose an earring, what do you do with the one remaining? Keep it around out of respect for its departed companion? This doesn’t often happen to me, but when it does, I’m at a loss – so to speak.
Dear Boar’s Head – Just so you know, I won’t be going to my local supermarket and demanding Boar’s Head products from the deli. Your products are fine – no better or worse than other brands of deli meats and cheeses – but do you think that I either work for you in marketing or that my asking ShopRite to switch from Black Bear or whatever brand they use is going to make them change their provisions purchasing? Are you willing to compensate me for marketing your products? Not too thin on the turkey, OK?
I feel sorry for the men I see in ShopRite, following their wives around, not even getting to push the cart, no less to make the decisions on what to buy. They look Zombie-like, having given up on their freedom and their time. Good luck, guys.
I have been going to the indoor pool in my active senior community. After my workout, I sit in the sauna and dry off. I’ve never been in a sauna without thinking, “Man, this is HOT!” And now, instead of just smelling like the pool chemicals, I also carry the odor of smoking wood.
As I pass the gym in our clubhouse and see all of the white-haired people working out, I always wonder if these are the same people who worked so hard to get out of gym class in high school. Thankfully, no horrendous gym suits are required. Remember them? The gym teacher cared more about whether your gym suit was ironed than the actual gym class.
The best new thing I have bought in months is a shower head with a hand sprayer that attaches to the base magnetically. When it is attached, it functions as a regular showerhead, but I can easily reach it to detach and use it as a hand sprayer to clean the shower doors. And I cannot reach much, so this is perfect for me.
The news is that Bed Bath & Beyond is closing many of its stores and headed to bankruptcy. What am I supposed to do with my collection of those enormous coupons I have hoarded for years? I guess Marie Kondo would say I can ditch them since they no longer bring me joy. In fact, they bring me sorrow, because I loved wandering around BB&B, checking out the towels and bed coverings and finding things that were definitely BEYOND (like margarita mix). I still haven't recovered from the loss of Lord & Taylor. This is a tough one.
