Tina's April 2017 Movies

This month's movies included a few "doubleheaders" and one of my  all-time favorites.  All movies are rated from a low of 1 tuna can to a high of 5, and movies not seen previously are marked with an *astersik.  Numbering picks up from the previous month.

37.  Newtown* (2017) – This devastating documentary aired on PBS’ Independent Lens series.  It recounts the grim story of the school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, in 2012, where 20 innocent 6-7 year old children were killed along with 6 adults – including teachers and the mother of the deranged shooter.  Much of the film focuses on the parents of just a few of the children.  The shared not only their memories of the loves they lost but also their hopes to ban assault weapons from private use.  Why anyone needs an assault weapon is not within my realm to understand.  I find it ironic, however, that under the current administration, the new secretary of Education thinks that weapons should be allowed in schools in case of an attack by a bear.  Let’s count the 26 lives lost on that fateful day and compare that number to all of the lives ever lost to an incident in a school caused by a bear.  This tragedy should NEVER be forgotten or repeated.  Those poor kids and teachers died for no reason, and others will, too, until we come to our senses in this country and enact real gun control.  And bear in mind that once funding for public television disappears, you won’t find programs like this one available again.  26 cans, one for each victim of this horrifying tragedy.

38.  Casey Anthony: An American Murder Mystery* (2017) – The only real mystery in this documentary miniseries is why Casey Anthony was not convicted of killing her two-year-old daughter, Kaylee.  Back in 2008, the young Florida mother admitted that her daughter had been missing for 30-days but insisted she was abducted by her nanny.  She proceeded to lead the authorities down countless blind alleys while her parents and the rest of the country sat back amazed by her audacity and prayed for Kaylee’s return.  You might remember the details – the abandoned car with the stench of a dead body coming from the trunk, the images of Casey partying while no one knew her daughter was missing, her computer searches for chloroform, courthouse visits between Casey and her parents – all recorded and played out on national TV (thank you, Nancy Grace).  All this and more details turn up in this examination, and all of the evidence points straight to Casey, portrayed as a young, pathological liar who must be the murderer.  But the one smart thing she did was hire an attorney who deflected the attention everywhere else.  In the end, Casey apparently got away with murder.  But while she is not in an actual prison, the erstwhile “Tot Mom” will never escape the notoriety and disdain of the American public.  Truth is stranger than fiction.  4 cans.

39.  The Wedding Singer (1998) – I’m not much of an Adam Sandler fan, but this lighthearted story about Robby (Sandler), a wedding singer who falls for Julia, a waitress (Drew Barrymore), even though she is engaged to another guy – a creepy womanizer (Matthew Glave) -- is sweet in its simplicity.  Robby is engaged, too, but he is left at the altar by his fiancée and becomes friends with Julia and helps her with her wedding plans.  Of course they fall in love, but she’s engaged, he’s honorable, and what happens is as unlikely as it is predictable.  And I was charmed anyway.  3 cans.

40.  Bull Durham and 41.  For Love of the Game (1999) – As baseball season arrives, what better doubleheader to see than two Kevin Costner movies about life on and off the diamond?  In Bull Durham, Kevin plays Crash Davis, a career minor-league catcher whose highlight was a brief “cup of coffee” in the Major Leagues – or, as he calls it, “the show.”  Crash is signed by the Bulls mainly to tutor young pitching phenom Calvin “Nuke” Laloosh, a kid with plenty of potential but who doesn’t understand or respect the game the way Crash does.  His tutoring extends beyond the mound to Nuke’s budding relationship with baseball groupie Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), who has reached home plate with many a ball player in her time.  She finds Crash appealing, he finds her intriguing, but she has committed her summer of love to studly young Nuke.  This wonderful, funny movie captures minor league life on the road, the platitudes of baseball, the camaraderie of the clubhouse, and the difference between a relationship with a boy and with a man.  In For Love of the Game, Costner is Billy Chapel, 40-year old renowned pitcher for the Detroit Tigers, a future Hall of Famer who is still performing well on the field but facing a future without baseball.  The Tigers are in New York to play the Yankees often enough for Billy to meet and court Jane (Kelly Preston), a writer with a teenaged daughter.  Most of the action takes place off the field, focusing on the relationship between Billy and Jane, until Billy has the unique chance of pitching a perfect game.  And what good is fame and fortunate when there is no one beside you to enjoy it?  Bull gets 4 baseballs and Love gets 3½.  Bring on “Field of Dreams!”

42.  Gifted* (2017) – I get all the various actors named Chris confused – Chris Pine, Chris Pratt, Chris Evans – and I do like them all.  Here, Chris Evans is Frank Adler, the uncle/caregiver of an enormously bright little girl, the daughter of his late sister.  Little Mary (McKenna Grace, the owner of the longest eyelashes this side of Christine from “Flip or Flop”) is 7 and has never gone to school, having been taught by her uncle.  But he wants Mary to be a real kid, to make friends and to do what other kids do, so he enrolls her in the local elementary school.  Bored by the simple math problems her teacher gives the class (“How much is one and one?”), she immediately dazzles Ms. Stevenson by calculating a tough multiplication problem in her head – and adding the square root.  What 7-year old can do this?  Mary is offered a spot at a prestigious school for advanced students, but neither she nor Frank wants her to go.  Frank’s British mother, Evelyn (Lindsay Duncan), herself an accomplished mathematician, disagrees and sues for custody.  I won’t reveal the case, but the central themes are the strong bond between Frank and Mary (and her one-eyed cat, Fred) and the concern of everyone: What’s best for this brilliant little girl?  Octavia Spencer has a small part as the landlady in Frank’s community who doubles as a friend/mother figure to Mary.  The movie is predictable in parts but full of love and very touching.  3½ cans.

43.  The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks* (2017) -- Oprah Winfrey produced and stars in this screen version of the best-selling book by Rebecca Skloot (Rose Byrne) about Henrietta Lacks, a woman whose cancer cells were harvested and used without her knowledge or permission (she wasn’t asked).  Winfrey plays Debra, Henrietta’s daughter, a woman desperate to know more about her mother who agrees to help Skloot uncover the mystery behind her mother’s cells.  A poor woman, Henrietta is treated for cervical cancer at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore in 1951.  All we glean from the movie version of the much more detailed book is that Henrietta died, but her cells lived on and helped medical researchers in their work on a variety of diseases.  Debra, who seems to suffer from some form of mental illness, sometimes reluctantly and sometimes enthusiastically works with “her reporter” – as she refers to Skloot – to find out what really happened.  There is a good deal of resentment by the family for not being informed about her mother’s cells or medical records.  This movie, while interesting, is not nearly as engrossing as the book.  I never thought I’d hear myself saying that I needed more science, but that’s what the book provided that the movie lacks – so to speak.  Oprah does a credible job in her role, but she is so much larger than life that it is difficult to separate the celebrity from the actress.  Byrne brings a little too much enthusiasm to the part.  I loved the book –which spent years on the best-seller list – and I like the movie.  3½ cells.

44.  Castaway (2000) – What can I say about this movie that I haven’t said before?  There are vast periods of utter silence, as Chuck Noland (the redoubtable Tom Hanks) finds a way to survive alone on an island after drifting ashore following the crash of his FedEx plane.  Chuck leaves behind his beloved girlfriend Kelly (Helen Hunt) to take the ill-fated flight, with just her picture in an heirloom locket giving him strength to survive.  His only company is Wilson, a volleyball that becomes his BFF.  But the part I love the most is that he does survive and he gets to see Kelly again, and she tells him, “You are the love of my life.”  The lump in my throat is bigger than Wilson the volleyball.  The only other thing I’d say is never to travel with Tom Hanks.  “Castaway,” “Apollo 13,” “Sully” and “Captain Phillips” prove that he could be dangerous to your health.  5 cans.

45.   Hello Dolly (1969) – Budding superstar Barbra Streisand was just 25 when she was tapped for the title role in the movie adaptation of the Broadway musical made famous by Carol Channing’s iconic performance.  Let’s face it – this is NOT a great movie.  There is a lot of slapstick silliness, and we are induced to believe some sort of romance between Streisand’s Dolly Levi, matchmaker extraordinaire and young widow, and the much older and completely irascible Horace Vandergelder, played by Walter Matthau with more than a tad of reluctance.  Presumably he cheered up when the check cleared.  The story is simple: She’s a matchmaker, looking for a wife for the grumpy old man, and decides she is the best candidate for the job.  All she has to do is convince him, which takes us through innumerable musical numbers and extraneous characters.  This movie is an overblown pastiche of a musical, despite a few memorable songs and one dynamite cameo by Louis Armstrong himself.  So why watch?  Because this week I am going to see the Broadway revival, starring the Devine Miss M herself, Bette Midler.  The whole point of the show is to provide an actress like Channing, Streisand or brassy Bette with a star turn, and I have no doubt Bette will more than hold her own.  As for this production?  You can let this parade pass you by.  2½ cans.

46. Parenthood (1989) – This Steve Martin comedy became the loose basis of a TV show I loved, and although the movie can only cover so much ground in two hours compared to a TV series that lasted for about 7 years, the movie is nonetheless entertaining.  Although I don’t have kids, I certainly laughed my way through some of the trials and travails of the Buckman family.  Martin is Gil, the main character, trying his best with wife Karen (Mary Steenbergen) to be a good father.  When Cowboy Dan doesn’t show up for his son’s birthday, Gil fashions a cowboy outfit complete with “chaps” made from the bathroom throw rugs.  Meanwhile, his sister Helen (Dianne Wiest) is flummoxed by her daughter Julie (Martha Plimpton) and her choice of boyfriend, or, as she calls him, “that Tod” (Keanu Reeves in a part essentially similar to his role in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”)  When mom accidentally gets Julie’s pictures from the local Fotomat (this movie is OLD), she is amused and outraged by the casual sex between the two young lovers.  “You can almost see his face in this one,” she says.  Parenthood is a tough job, and this movie reminds the viewer of much of the joy, some of the disappointment and all of the fun.  3½ cans.

47.  My Blue Heaven (1990) – In a completely different role, here Steve Martin is mobster Vinnie Antonelli, a fish completely out of water as a native New Yorker forced to move to San Diego as part of the witness protection program.  He only stands out from the neighbors in his new community when he mows the grass in his sharkskin suit, teaches his FBI agent Barney (Rick Moranis) how to merengue and tips everyone in sight.  Martin’s trademark white hair may be gone, but his smile and silliness are intact.  Barney is charged with the job of keeping Vinnie alive and making him fit in while awaiting his testimony in a New York mob case.  But trying to get Vinnie to keep a low profile – and alive – is a real challenge.  Nothing earthshaking here, but good for a few grins.  Martin is terrific.  3 cans.