Mid-May Musings

I spend more time looking for something to watch on Netflix than I do actually watching whatever I picked out to watch on Netflix.

I recently attended a class in “knife skills” at Williams-Sonoma.  It was probably just as well that it wasn’t hands on, because for me that might have meant thumbs off.

When it comes to food – and doesn’t it ALWAYS come to food? – I’m trying to remind myself to slow down when I eat.  Enjoying is better than inhaling!

If you see a whisk wandering around the streets of Somerset, NJ, it is mine.  It somehow escaped from the jar of utensils on my kitchen counter, obviously to seek adventures outside my house.  Too late, baby.  You have been supplanted by a 97 cent replacement whisk with the hope that kitchen gadget escapes are not a trend here in Tina Town.

Nothing gets me up faster than leg cramps.  I jump out of bed or out of the recliner, which is no fun at all.

Which reminds me – we sit ON a chair but IN a recliner.  Not sure why.

Why is it that when I don’t have to get up I can’t sleep but when I do have to get up, I can’t wake up?

You know those thin plastic or fabric straps that come on dresses or tops for women?  Does anyone actually use them to keep the garment on the hanger, or do you think of them as needless annoyances that have to be removed, like those postcards that come in magazines?  I cannot read People until I have removed every one of them.

Listen up folks: There is no letter R in the words IDEA or WASH, so stop using one.  And please, for the love of God, stop using single quotation marks in headlines, newspapers!  The only time you use a single quote is when it appears within a quote.  Why, why, why?

These days, much of what we do on line is stored in “the Cloud.”  Notice that when anyone mentions the term “the Cloud” that they typically will point or look up to the sky.  You know, where clouds are.

It seems like every day on Facebook the day belongs to someone named Karen or Bob or Mike.  Are we going to have to celebrate until every possible name is included?

As I was watching one of my favorite actors – Tom Hanks – in one of my favorite movies – “Castaway” – it occurred to me that I really don’t ever want to travel with Tom Hanks.  In this movie he survives a plane crash and ends up alone on a remote island for 4 years.  In “Sully” he plays Chesley Sullenberger, captain of the US Airways flight that he safely landed in the Hudson River.  In “Apollo 13,” he portrays astronaut Jim Lovell from the ill-fated Apollo 13 flight that miraculously landed safely back on earth after terrible technical issues that prevented the crew from landing on the moon.  You also don’t want to wait in an airport with Tom Hanks, where you might be stuck for years, as he was in “The Terminal.”  And a trip on a ship?  Well, he was “Captain Phillips,” who commanded a ship that was attacked and taken over by pirates.  At least we know good old Tom made it back alive, but personally, I don’t need the drama.

Recently a new burger place, 30 Burgers, opened in my area.  Is this place 5 burgers better than 25 Burgers? 

I’m not sure why I am thinking about this now, but I was just wondering about how people who are born on Leap Year celebrate their birthdays.  And how do they explain that their date of birth is not February 28 or March 1, but February 29? Is there a party only once every four years?

Whenever I have to go to Customer Service at places like Walmart (yes, I DO go to Walmart; a girl needs a good junk store), I’m always amazed by how genuinely miserable the people who work there seem to be.  I know it is tough dealing with the public, and that people can be a real pain in the ass, and that jobs are hard to find, but why would someone apply for that kind of job in the first place?  Maybe they have just reached their breaking point.  But I can’t help thinking about the day that they showed up for the interview.  Were they full of enthusiasm, selling themselves as perfectly suited for a customer service position?  Because times have CHANGED since that interview and when they were hired to the harsh reality of actually having the job.  Kind of like Donald Trump's thinking being president would be a snap and then finding out he hates it and wants his old life back.

I know I should be grateful when I get that monthly e-mail from Amazon letting me know there are plenty of free titles available for my Kindle.  But the truth is that there are already so many things stacked up and waiting to be read on my Kindle that I should not be allowed to even look for one more book!

Do you read printed books?  Or do you read only on a Kindle-type device?  Or both?  I love books but have to admit that reading on my Kindle is very convenient, especially when I travel.  Still, I appreciate reading a book and I always pick up bookmarks when I travel.  They remind me of where I have been, they are cheap and there is always room in the suitcase for just one more.

Nutritional Tip:  When your lemons look like fuzzy limes, it is time to toss them.

Chocolate and I recently went through a trial separation.  That doesn’t mean we won’t work things out eventually, but we both need to adjust our expectations.  So, for now, we are keeping our distance.  What I really need is a restraining order – on me!

I like to think of myself as generous – at least to others.  But when it comes to me, I will squeeze a tube of toothpaste to death before I throw it out.  I will put water in the shampoo bottle to get a few more latherings, use the roll-on deodorant until it rolls no more and I will stock up on laundry detergent only when it goes on sale. 

Ah, I love this time of year.  Most of the time it is warm enough to turn off the heat and cool enough not to need the air conditioner.  Take that, Public Service!

When people casually greet you with a “how’s everything?” they don’t really want to know, and you don’t really want to tell them.

Tons of people watched as April the Giraffe finally gave birth to her bouncing baby giraffe, who weighed in at 129 pounds.  I’m not sure what this says about the public, where so many people watched a giraffe give birth.

Remember when we were growing up and kids wanted to be teachers and baseball players and firemen?  I don’t remember anyone ever aspiring to be a professional document shredder.  Yet there are entire businesses built around the destruction of documents.  This kind of career could never have been imagined “back in my day.”  Recently I spent the better part of a week going through old spread sheets and tax returns and receipts so I could gather them up and take them to the “Shredding Day Event” held in the county once a month.  As much as I hate doing this kind of chore, it feels so good when it is done!

I’ll end this month’s message on a sad note.  I recently learned about the passing of a very dear colleague, a man I admired and adored, Arthur Congdon.  Arthur was a brilliant designer, an expert on corporate identity (among may other things), and I was fortunate as the “Logo Cop” of Johnson & Johnson to hire him as a consultant to work on how best to display and protect the iconic Johnson & Johnson signature.  No one knew more than Arthur about this field, with his extensive branding program experience with many major corporations.  But Arthur was so much more than a designer.  He was a Renaissance man, with a love of music and art, and, above all, family.  I have songs on my iPod that came from his massive collection of Broadway cast recordings that he so graciously loaned me.  I remember his story about bidding for charity on a chance to conduct an orchestra and winning the opportunity, a huge challenge that he handled with his usual enthusiasm and relish.  We kept in touch long after I retired and he and his beloved wife Jan had moved to the St. Louis area to be closer to their grandchildren.  They made sure they lived in a location that was cosmopolitan enough to have museums, operas and symphony orchestras.  When you get a chance in life to engage in conversation about things for which you have true passion, and you have a chance to share common interests in the workplace, you are fortunate, indeed.  But when you get the chance to share a friendship with someone you admire, someone who enriches your life, that is rewarding beyond measure.  Rest in peace, my dear friend.  You will always have a special place in my memories of Johnson & Johnson and in my heart.