September Message from Tina -- Shouldering the Pain

I’m glad I don’t have to return to school this month and answer that age-old question, “How was your summer?”  Because, for the most part, mine was pretty bad, full of pain and angst as I prepped for, underwent and recovered from surgery.  And here’s why there was no Randomthoughtsbytina blog posting in August and why you haven’t heard or seen much of me on social media or in person for a while, which maybe went unnoticed.

At the beginning of August, after 6 months of physical therapy that only minimally improved the condition of my aching shoulder, and two cortisone shots that came up short, I underwent rotator cuff surgery.  Things could be far worse, I know.  After all, I went through colon cancer nearly 20 years ago, and my shoulder was something that could be fixed.

The surgery was to done repair a full rotator cuff tear, a partial tear, a bone spur and a calcium deposit in my right shoulder.  Naturally, I am right-handed.  The doctor assured me he could address these issues arthroscopically, just going in to “clean things up,” which sounds to me like cleaning the kitchen counters, only it isn’t.  Medical procedures always seem to be no big deal when the doctors describe them, but they aren’t the ones who can’t get dressed, sleep in a bed, brush their teeth or comb their hair for weeks afterwards.  My doctor is pretty laid back.  I asked him how long it would be until I could drive again.  He told me I could drive whenever I felt like I could do it.  Three weeks after the surgery, I resumed driving, but only to physical therapy and to ShopRite (which probably missed me more than any of you).  I’m still not ready to tackle driving around the Somerville Circle, or, God forbid, parallel park – which I didn’t do well BEFORE the surgery.  Just reaching back to connect the seatbelt hurts, so I move the seat all the way back to attach it and then move all the way up so I can reach the pedals.  

I really thought this whole process through in advance.  I decided to have surgery during the summer, when I wouldn’t have to wear jackets, coats, sweatshirts, etc. – or slip on the ice of winter – and when I could lounge around in shorts and t-shirts while recovering.  I knew getting dressed would be painful, and I was right.  I just stayed in the same clothes – day and night – for the first 3 days!  I prepped for my recuperation by buying sleeveless tops with buttons or others that I could pull on easily over my neck; it took me two weeks just to wear SHORT sleeves. 

Forget about sleeping in a bed.  I can’t sleep on the shoulder, and even if I prop up my arm to keep it supported, I am afraid I will roll over and hurt myself.  Luckily, I have several recliners, but only one has electric controls on the left side, and since I couldn’t move my right arm much, that became my bed during my recuperation.  After two weeks I was able to move the lever on the recliner in my bedroom, so I graduated from sleeping in the family room to at least sleeping NEAR my bed.  One day I sat in a different recliner in the family room and I couldn’t get out.  I thought I’d have to call 911 and request the jaws of life to extricate me.  

I was worried (justifiably, it turns out) about using my left hand in situations where my right hand has always taken control, which includes anything in the bathroom.  I didn’t realize how very right-handed I was until I couldn’t use it.  Just reaching for a light switch caused me pain.  Brushing my teeth left-handed was an adventure, even with my electric toothbrush.  I’ll refrain from sharing other details.

I made a few good choices, the best of which was scheduling this surgery in the summer and getting my hair cut short.  I couldn’t shower for a week, and after a month I still can’t raise my right arm enough to dry my hair properly, so I lower my head to reach the dryer.  I assumed I wouldn’t be able to lift the cover on my grill, so I figured that making pasta and meatloaf ahead of time and freezing single portions would be better than pouring cereal directly down my throat or confining myself to tuna fish right out of the package.  I can’t cut much of anything and my left hand holds a fork like a two-year old.  

In my usual zeal and attention to detail, I tried to anticipate and address every issue I could think of to prepare for my recuperation.  I bought detergent pods so I could do laundry without having to pour liquid from heavy bottles. I use a “grabber” to fish my socks out of the bottom of the washing machine one-handed.  I even bought a new tube of toothpaste because I figured it would be easier to squeeze with one hand.

I now own every kind of ice pack on the market, some that stick to body parts and others that drape over my shoulder.  There are more ice packs in my freezer than actual food.  I stocked up on bottled water and toilet paper, so I should not need to ask people to stop at the supermarket for these basics, just fresh fruit and real food.  My neighbors, friends and sister have been extremely helpful, but, being fiercely independent and living on my own for more than 40 years, I hate asking anyone for help.  

I prepped by watching videos about the operation itself. I viewed medical illustrations to better understand the shoulder structure and how it would be fixed, and I checked out videos made by patients who had gone through the same surgery.  Those videos informed me of what I would be facing and also scared me!

Since typing was painful even before the surgery, I gladly took a much-needed break from social media.  I can’t type well with my left hand, and although I can speak into my phone, the mistakes that result from that drive me crazy.  I informed everyone who has come to expect an almost instant response from me that I would not be spending time in front of the computer.  In recovery, if I am on my computer any length of time with my arm is at a certain angle, I have to hook myself up to the heating pad to relieve the pain.  

I patiently waited to binge the last season of “Orange is the New Black” so I could savor it while I healed.  I also found a bunch of other binge-worthy programs that weren’t too taxing on my mind, since I can’t concentrate because of the pain.  I washed and dried every bit of laundry I could find, changed my sheets (kind of a waste of time), addressed birthday cards for later in the month, prepaid bills, put a vacation “out-of-office” message on my email and caught up on as much as I could.  

Oh, and did I mention that now my left shoulder is bothering me?  All that extra effort is wearing on it.  And I am dealing with plantar fasciitis in BOTH feet, which limits my ability to walk.  Walking barefoot is out completely.  Now I am wrapping my feet with Ace bandages and wearing the old orthotics I wore years ago when I went through this condition last time. 

So now I go to physical therapy four times a week, twice for my shoulder and twice for my feet.  I am massaged by my physical “terrorist,” I do my exercises and get treated with heat or ice as well as electrical stimulation on both feet and the right shoulder.  I hope I don’t get electrocuted or that the place doesn’t catch on fire!  I went to PT the other day and showed off my latest accomplishment:  I can now wave my right arm!  I have made progress, both from going to PT and from doing my exercises at home.  You can find me walking around the house, shrugging my shoulders and swinging my arm.  

When I hear about athletes who come back from this surgery and return to throwing touchdowns or pitching 95-mile-an-hour fastballs, I am more amazed than inspired.  This surgery is painful.  The recuperation is NO JOKE!  I wear a sling when I go out, but it pulls on my neck and cramps my repaired shoulder and arm.  I’m scared to be jostled or bumped or that some well-meaning person will want to give me a big bear hug.  I totally understand why star Colts quarterback Andrew Luck retired, saying he was tired of being caught in a cycle of injury, pain and rehab.  In my case, at least big defensive linemen are not trying to knock me over!  I watched Rafael Nadal play in the U.S. Open with pure jealousy over his fit and beautiful shoulders (I have three tiny holes in mine).  I’ll be happy to be able to hang my clothes in the closet with my right arm.  I can’t wait to be able to sleep in my bed and use my camera.  I had better be recovered in time to see my precious Rutgers Women’s Basketball team take the court in November!

I feel like one of those road signs that read: “Temporary inconvenience, permanent improvement.”  At least I hope so.

Tina's August 2019 Movies

I was on the Injured Reserve List all month after undergoing rotator cuff surgery on my typing shoulder, so I had a chance to see a baker's dozen movies, despite not getting out of the house much.  Movies not seen previously are noted with an asterisk, and the rating system goes from 1 (the worst) to 5 cans of tuna fish. Numbering picks up from previous months.
99.  Once Upon a Time in Hollywood* (2019) – If you are the writer and director of a film, your vision is what is delivered on the screen.  In this case, Quentin Tarantino looks at the death of Hollywood as he sees it, a dumbing down of good performances and stories in favor of trite TV shows and self-indulgent industry regulars.  He builds into the demise of Hollywood the 1969 murder of actress Sharon Tate, pregnant wife of director Roman Polanski (luckily out of town at the time), and guests in her home after an invasion by Charles Manson and his cult of hippie followers.  It is an interesting premise and it is populated by first-rate actors giving great performances (notably Leonardo DiCaprio and an aging but still impossibly handsome Brad Pitt).  While I understand the desire to provide sufficient detail to show what actors, movies, TV and the Hollywood culture were about then, I don’t need 2 hours and 41 minutes to get the point.  You could say Tarantino is a genius -- his work is certainly original, he brings out the best in his cast as a director and he doesn’t skimp on the storytelling – but this story was just too big and too long for me.  I know I snoozed a bit, but I didn’t feel like I missed anything important to the story.  Others will praise this film, and rightfully so, but it was just not my cup of tea.  3½ cans.
100.  The Newspaperman: The Life and Times of Benjamin Bradlee – Best known as the editor of the storied Washington Post, Ben Bradlee led a fascinating life.  Crime reporter, war correspondent, Newsweek leader and BFF with John F. Kennedy and his glamourous wife Jackie, Bradlee was already a public figure when he led the paper during its famous coverage of Watergate.  He led a fascinating life and seemed to enjoy every bit of it.  4 cans.
101.  12 Angry Men (1959) – 12 men, locked up in a hot, sweaty room, deliberating the fate of a young man accused of murdering his father.  Witnesses heard his threats, some testified that they saw him commit the act, and 11 of these men are convinced they can wrap up this case quickly and go home.  Except for Henry Fonda, who thinks they should at least discuss the facts of the case before coming to that conclusion.  This is the brilliant story, presented in a sparse set, with men rising and pacing the room like a well-executed ballet, that demonstrates that things are not always as they appear, and that judgment must be rendered based on the facts presented.  I’m not sure you can call this a courtroom drama, since it takes place only in the jury deliberation room, but whatever you call it, call it great.  5 cans.
102.  Anatomy of a Murder – This one IS a courtroom drama, as small-town attorney James Stewart defends an Army lieutenant (Ben Gazzara) for murdering a bar owner who raped his wife (Lee Remick).  Was he temporarily insane when he committed the act?  Was his young and flirtatious wife actually raped?  Can Stewart’s country lawyer outduel a prosecutor from the big city (George C. Scott)?  I hadn’t seen this one in years but it seemed the perfect match to “12 Angry Men.”  And it was.  4 cans.
103.  42nd Street* (2013) – No, not the Broadway musical, this documentary (on Amazon Prime) traces the history of the famous street that is the lifeblood of New York as it develops over time, going from glamourous to gritty and changes with the times.  And there is plenty of the title song and shots of celebrated architecture to enjoy along the way.  3 cans.
104.  Orange Is the New Black* (2019) – As we say goodbye to the denizens of Litchfield Penitentiary, I feel a sense of loss since I know I will miss the characters and stories of this women’s prison like I have missed nothing since “Mad Men,” “Friday Night Lights” and “The Sopranos” left the airways.  This Netflix series had its ups and downs, but it never failed to deliver the stark reality of life in prison – the hopelessness from a system that never really intended to rehabilitate these women but just to adequately house them and often to harass them.  The final season introduced the horrors of immigrant detention, as women who had lived and worked in the US for years were rounded up, separated from their families and, with major communications challenges, left to fend for themselves.  Yet this season also provided a sense of tenderness and hope that far exceeded anything shown previously, where old friends were reunited and helped each other in new ways that put themselves at risk.  The main character, Piper (Taylor Schilling), is trying to adjust to life outside prison even as her wife, Alex (Laura Prepon), remains behind bars and is forced to engage in risky behavior.  And my favorite character, Tastee (Danielle Brooks), confronts the reality of her life sentence for a crime she did not commit and a final act of treason from one of her best friends that threatens her ability to survive.  This season delivered insanity and sanity, growth and redemption, corruption and cooperation in new ways that made it the most satisfying finale since “M*A*S*H*” went off the air.  Ladies of Litchfield, I will miss you.  5 cans.
105.  Boy Erased* (2018) – This movie, based on a true story, centers on a teenaged boy (Lucas Hedges) whose parents send him to a “conversion program” to “cure” him of being gay.  His father (Russell Crowe) is a pastor and, although he loves his son, he is convinced this experience with an in-depth program will make his son “normal.”  The teenager’s supportive and loving mother (Nicole Kidman) just wants him to be happy but goes along with her husband.  The young man is confused.  He doesn’t really want to be gay but it is not by choice.  The propaganda of such programs and the discipline enforced by the leader (Joel Edgerton, who also directed) show the futility of trying to force young people to deny their own truth.  This movie is painful and heartbreaking to watch.  3½ cans.
106.  Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (2018) – With a new biopic coming soon about children’s TV icon Mr. (Fred) Rogers (with Tom Hanks starring), it seemed like a good idea to view the documentary from last year on a man whose gentility and good heart meant so much to the children who gathered each day to watch his PBS program.  I am not the right age to have watched his program when it aired, but I appreciate the documentary for providing me with a meaningful look at Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood, and I loved it.  4 cans.
107.  Woodstock: Three Days That Defined a Generation* (2019) – 50 years ago, in August 1969, the Woodstock festival was held to celebrate peace and music.  It was an extraordinary event that combined some of the most talented and best-known musicians of the time with nearly half a million young people who trekked to upstate New York to indulge themselves in peace, love, rock & roll and a lot of pot.  This remarkable look at the preparations by the “organizers” – if you can call them that – shows how they eventually had to choose between building fences so they could collect tickets and completing the stage.  They wisely chose the latter, and the festival became three days of legendary music performances in front of a temporary city of concertgoers who remained peaceful despite torrential rain, lack of food, shelter and toilets. This documentary dwells on the background much more than the music (see the Woodstock documentary concert film if you long to relish Richie Havens, Jimi Hendricks and Crosby Stills and Nash).  It was part of the PBS Series “American Experience,” and whether you attended or remember it or even if you weren’t alive in 1969, you should enjoy it immensely.  4 cans.
108.  The Typewriter* (2012) – You just don’t find too many people who use typewriters these days, although, according to this wonderful documentary on Amazon Prime Video, there remains a coterie of devoted users who are making them popular again.  This film shows some of them, from famous authors (historians Robert Caro and David McCullough) to typewriter repair people and technicians to a musician who incorporates that classic sound of striking keys into her work.  There are collectors and people who simply prefer the trusty typewriter to its more recent cousin, the word processor, to improve the quality of their writing.  I know this is a quirky subject (or is it qwerty?) for a movie, but I loved it, as you might expect.  4 cans.
109.  The Great Hack* (2019) – If you have filled out one of those seemingly innocuous quizzes on Facebook – you know, where you are asked to select your favorite TV show or Disney character – you have contributed one data point to the approximately 5,000 points of information about yourself that unscrupulous companies like Cambridge Analytics used to swing the 2016 presidential election.  Those 5000 data points on you are part of the information collected for free – you have donated yours! – and are combined with data on millions of other people to predict behavioral patterns.  This Netflix documentary takes you through the practice and how this information is collected and deployed.  If you have ever wondered why you see the ads you see on social media, here is the answer.  It’s too late now to opt out of sharing the information you have already provided, which, once collected, can be stored, shared or sold.  Information is a big business and it is shaping a society eager to share it by a more devious collective that monetizes it to influence voting and public policy.  If this movie doesn’t convince you of the danger of what we can call “the greater bad” instead of the greater good, nothing will.  And stop taking those revealing quizzes.  3½ cans.
110.  My Brother’s Wife (1998) – It is hard to watch this movie without feeling the loss of its star, John Ritter, who died in 2003.  Here he plays the scion of a fractured family, headed by his wealthy widowed father, who characterizes Ritter’s Barney as an irresponsible ne’er-do-well.  When Barney meets the beautiful Eleanor (Mel Harris) as a young man, he is immediately smitten with her.  But she is influenced by her overbearing mother (Polly Bergen) and chooses Barney’s more reliable younger brother, despite Barney’s endearing qualities.  Barney is in love with Eleanor throughout the 25 years of the movie, but love does not always conquer all.  Ritter makes the movie better than it is.  3 cans.
111.  Blinded by the Light* (2019) – This movie is a story of love and inspiration made possible by the music of Bruce Springsteen.  University student Javid (Viveik Kalra) lives in a nondescript town in England, where he deals with discrimination and ridicule while he dreams of being a writer.  He is not encouraged or supported by his loving family or stern Pakistani father (the father reminded me of the father in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”) and Jav literally throws away the many poems he has written.  And then Jav’s classmate hands him a cassette tape of Bruce Springsteen’s music.  When he pops it into his Walkman, his whole world changes.  The lyrics speak to Jav, reminding him that he is not the only one from a working-class family who has hopes and dreams.  He gathers up the stack of poems he had thrown out and, with the encouragement of his English professor, he realizes that he, too, has something to say.  This charmer is based on a real story, and although it can be a little sappy at times (plus Jav has huge puppy dog eyes), it provides a sense of exuberance and possibilities.  Like the recent movie “Yesterday,” this film shows how meaningful music can be to bring us comfort, inspiration and validation.  4 cans.

Tina's July 2019 Movies

Here we go again, with this month's hot weather edition.  Movies not seen previously are marked with an asterisk and the numbering picks up from previous months.  The ratings go from 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 at the top of the heap.

87.  Born on the 4th of July (1989) – Watching this movie on the 4th of July seemed like the appropriate thing to do.  It is director Oliver Stone’s adaptation of the book by Ron Kovac, Vietnam war veteran turned antiwar activist.  Tom Cruise plays Kovac as he goes from a star high school athlete and gung-ho Marine recruit through harrowing experiences in Vietnam, where the confused young Marine may have accidentally killed a serviceman in his unit.  Then Kovacs himself is hit and paralyzed and endures the horror of being treated in a military hospital until he returns to his Massapequa, Long Island, home as a conquering hero.  But by then, the anti-war movement is busy criticizing US policy and those who served, initially enraging the young vet, until he finally redirects his anger toward the war and the US government.  This is one of Cruise’s best roles, and while I always find him a bit too earnest and Stone a bit too heavy-handed, both have a very meaty story to tell here, and they handle it well.  4 cans.
88.  March of the Penguins (2005) – This documentary is remarkable not only for the way it demonstrates the behavior of penguins as they migrate, mate and care for their chicks, but also for the phenomenal footage captured by the production team.  How the penguins can figure out whose mate is whose is beyond my ability to comprehend, since I swear they all look exactly alike.  The animals take on extreme challenges in nature to mate, give birth and protect their young.  Fascinating stuff.  4 cans.
89.  Beaches (1988) – Sobfest starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey as long-time friends.  If you don’t get all choked up at the end, you have either seen this movie one too many times or think it is too corny.  It gets me every time.  4 cans.
90.  Pavarotti* (2019) – Italian opera singer Luciano Pavarotti is larger than life in this Ron Howard documentary.  His magnificent voice is a gift, he acknowledges, but also a curse.  He used his talents to move far beyond the opera stage, performing at outdoor venues around the world in concerts, and later teaming up with such notable rock stars as Bono to attract a whole new generation of fans.  He performed a charity concert in the rain in London and even Princess Diana was persuaded to put down her umbrella to allow everyone there to see the legend sing.  When Pavarotti teamed up with fellow tenors Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras to perform for the first time as the Three Tenors, the hair stood up on my arm.  Their work utterly changed the acceptance of opera and the way classical music is performed, as the broadcast was seen around the world.  You don’t have to be an opera buff to love Luciano.  4 cans.
91.  Yesterday* (2019) – A different story, an excellent cast and great music make this movie a joy to watch.  Jack (Himesh Patel) is a failed musician who is about to give up on his dream when a worldwide power shortage results in a collective global case of amnesia.  No one but Jack knows that the Beatles existed, and no one but him knows all of their songs.  They no longer appear on Google, so he can’t even look up the words, relying instead on memory to perform them and delight audiences with what they assume is original work.  He can’t believe it, but he starts singing their songs and garners huge acclaim for his songwriting genius (thank you, Lennon and McCartney).  His manager (Lily James), whom he loves but hasn’t admitted that to himself or her, can’t manage him since she is a schoolteacher.  I don’t want to spoil the movie, but I can tell you the premise is interesting and it is carried out with verve and skill.  And those songs!  4 cans.
92.  Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) – A cast of unforgettable characters populates the town of Whistle Stop, Alabama, and the stories of Miz Threadgood (Jessica Tandy), who shares them at the nursing home with a visitor (Kathy Bates), a willing listener to the adventures of Idgie (Mary Stuart Masterson) and Miss Ruth (Mary-Louise Parker).  This heartwarming story about friendship and relationships – good and bad – set amid racial discrimination in the good old South is always worth viewing.  4 cans and a lump in my throat. 
93.  Wild Rose* (2019) – Jessie Buckley makes a memorable debut in this movie about a working class woman just out of prison who dreams of being a country singer.  Living in Glasgow, Rose is pretty far from Nashville, and she neither writes songs nor plays guitar.  She does have a striking voice and a certain look, so she can command a room, but she’s always getting herself into predicaments, such as getting drunk and having her bag stolen.  When the woman whose house she cleans offers to let her sing at a party, it looks like Rose may be getting the break she needs, but with two kids to care for and a mother (veteran English actress Julie Walters) harping on her to take responsibility and not let the kids down, Rose is torn.  Will she get to Nashville and make her dream come true?  Worth seeing for yourself.  3½ cans.
94.  Maiden* (2019) – Imagine sailing around the world, doing it in a yachting race with a first-time skipper and in a beat-up boat.  In this case, nothing was going to stop Tracy Edwards and her all-female crew from competing in the prestigious Whitbread Round the World Race in 1989-90.  This documentary relies on abundant footage of the amazing voyage, filled with high seas and high adventure and a spirit that characterized Edwards and her crew.  I know nothing about sailing, but I can appreciate teamwork, drive and determination and the way the crew of the Maiden balanced the field, showing that women can do everything that men can do.  The perfect movie for a scorching hot day!  3½ cans.
95.  My Cousin Vinny (1991) – Joe Pesci plays Vincent LaGuardia Gambini, law school grad and novice attorney, who travels from his home in Brooklyn to a small town in Alabama to defend his cousin and his friend from a charge of murder.  When Vinny and his fiancé, (Marisa Tomei) arrive from New York, all decked out in leather, they stand out just a little from the locals.  The Judge on the case (Fred Gwynne in a great performance) is determined to hold barrister Gambini to the standards of his courtroom, although good old Cousin Vinny has never actually tried a case in the 6 weeks since he finally passed the bar after years of failure.  Ralph Macchio plays the cousin on trial with no real sense of confidence in Vinny.  This is a laugh-out-loud comedy and Tomei was named Best Supporting Actress for her role.  4 cans.
96.  Going Attractions:  The Definitive Story of the American Drive-In Movie* (2013) – Those of us old enough to remember drive-in movies hold a certain fondness for them, and this documentary (on Amazon Prime) captures that special feeling.  Remember the speaker on the car window, putting the kids in pajamas and taking a carload to the drive-in?  The snack bars, the huge screen, the romance of a summer date night…all are in this charming film that traces the origins of the drive-in from the 1930s through the 50s and 60s – when there were about 5000 nationwide – to the few remaining today (at the time of this movie, about 400 remained).  If nostalgia and movies appeal to you, check this one out.  3½ cans.
97.  The Firm (1993) – Tom Cruise plays a fresh young attorney hired by a big and unscrupulous law firm to join them in their dirty deeds.  Throw in an attractive young wife (Jeanne Tripplehorn), a brother in jail, a ruthless mentor and partner in the firm (Gene Hackman) a couple of clever and determined FBI guys and a secretary who lends a helping hand (Holly Hunter) and combine that with chases on foot, gunmen, the Chicago mob and Wilford Brimley chasing Cruise (my money’s on Tom) and you have a bit of an overdone plot in an otherwise suspenseful movie.  3 cans.
98.  Wine Country* (2019) – I get it.  There’s nothing like a girls’ weekend, fueled by long-term friendships and the memories they evoke, supplemented by wine and a few adventures.  So, I wanted to like this “buddy” movie brought to you largely by Saturday Night Live alums (Amy Poehler directed, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph star), but, despite the comedy and injections of real life with its work/family obligations and health issues, it just failed to measure up to my expectations. Feel free to check it out on Netflix and let me know what you think.  3 cans.

Summer Reading

It turns out that those annoying strings on a banana have both a name and a purpose.  They are called “phloem” (which sounds like phlegm to me; equally annoying) and their purpose is to distribute nutrients up and down the banana as it grows.  We can think of them as the umbilical cord for bananas, I guess.

Life is too short to read books you don’t like.  Being in a Book Club forces you to read books which are not always what you would select.  The current offering falls into that category.  I feel like I am back in English Lit class and reading Beowulf again!  So, let’s be more selective in our Book Club choices!

Have you ever noticed that the kitchen table on “The Golden Girls” only has three chairs?  Poor Sophia always has to stand at the stove cooking something, unless they get her a stool.  They need a fourth chair, but that chair would get in the way of a clear TV shot of the action.

Am I the only one worried about Cheryl and her “she-shed” that burned down?  All-State says it was covered, but still…

The lady in front of me at Dollar Tree the other day spent $59.  Do you know how many items that is (come on, the math isn’t so hard)?  I don’t think there was a package of cookies left in the store when she was through.

Here’s how to solve one of life’s biggest conundrums: Require that EVERYONE must put down the lid on the toilet seat – not just the seat, but the lid. That means women and men, boys and girls, ALL have to take action and we are not discriminating against men who leave the seat up.  The toilet looks much better closed, too.

Who is this J.D. Power guy and why does he think he knows which companies are the best in everything from cars to life insurance?

Not only is the daily newspaper THIN these days (even on Sundays, with Parade Magazine downsized), but the plastic bag it comes in could not get any thinner.  You can hardly use it to clean up after your pet!  I no longer subscribe, and nothing about the Star-Ledger’s diminished size and coverage could get me to re-up my subscription, which I stopped when I moved to this development and they could not seem to find me!

I just had the windows washed.  Expect torrential downpours.

One of the things I like best about my DVR is the feature that allows me to press FAST FORWARD during the commercials on a recorded program and have it stop automatically as the program resumes.  If you don’t have that feature or don’t know if you have it, it is worth checking.  I think of that feature as EZ Pass for TV.

Watching “Beaches” was not the cheeriest way to start my day, I admit, but I love that movie!

No matter how hot it is outside, I always put on a jacket or sweatshirt when I go into the supermarket or Costco.  It is freezing in those places!

It must be a rough day in the old washing machine when the clothes emerge inside out.

I typically keep my movie reviews separate from my “random thoughts,” but I will make an exception to comment on the 2005 movie “March of the Penguins.”  This stunning documentary shows the King Penguins marching from Antarctica to their breeding ground, where they mate, give birth, go and get food and go home, all around the season (such as they are) in this intemperate climate.  What struck me is when they start the mating process.  I guess it is like a penguin singles bar.  The male and female penguins size each other up and then select a mate, whom they pledge to be with monogamously until the births have come and gone and their babies are forced to be on their own.  The women leave for food (a trip that takes many miles and weeks; it is NOT like a quick trip to ShopRite), and when they return, the males are carefully guarding their eggs.  How they can tell who’s who is a real question to me since they all look alike.  They emit some high-pitched sounds, which I can only assume helps them tell each other apart, but I picture Pete the Penguin saying to Harry the Penguin, “Have you seen Mary?  I think that’s her over there with that look on her face, but I can’t tell.  All I know is that I’m probably in big trouble.”  Meanwhile, I expect Mary to be commiserating with her gang, telling the other ladies, “Pete never treats me special.  He acts like I’m just like everyone else.”  All this speculation was left out of the final cut but see the movie anyway.  And you can make up your own story.

My Yankees have had more players on the Injured Reserve List this year than at any time I can recall.  Even stellar broadcasters John Sterling and Michael Kay – who haven’t missed an assigned game in decades – have been unable to work due to medical issues.  And yet the team is doing fine despite the injuries.  Go figure.

And speaking of the IR List, I am about to go on it myself.  Early in August I will be undergoing surgery for a torn rotator cuff, a bone spur, a calcium deposit and a frayed tendon in my right shoulder.  Yes, I am right-handed.  My surgeon assures me that he can go in arthroscopically and just “clean things up.”  I’ll have a nerve block to kill the pain for the first 18-24 hours, he says, and then some pain pills.  He makes it sound like it is NO BIG DEAL.  However, my sister has had this surgery on each of her shoulders, and her take is a little different.  And a friend confirms that just doing the simplest things – like getting dressed – will NOT be easy.  The doc says I can drive in a couple of days, but I already have trouble getting the seatbelt on because of the pain, so I can’t imagine how that will be possible following surgery.  My left arm has already gone on record to say that it is merely along for the ride, and if I think it will pick up the slack – in places like the bathroom and shower – I am afraid I will be sadly mistaken.  So, if you see me next month with really bad hair and looking like 7 miles of bad road (I’m told sleeping is really difficult), please remember that I am on Injured Reserve.  All those years of playing softball and reading about other people’s rotator cuff problems finally caught up with me.  I just want to be able to hang things on the higher rack in the closet, fasten my seatbelt and pull up my pants without pain.  Is that asking too much?

Because of this injury and my forthcoming surgery, I will have to stay offline for a while, and the break could not have come at a better time.  I am getting bored and tired of pictures on Facebook of everyone’s second cousins, the dish they made for dinner last night, their pedicured feet facing the pool or on the beach, videos of animals and babies (or baby animals), and pictures of everyone’s vacation.  The last straw was when a friend announced the passing of her “devoted fish.”  Love you, Linda, but a devoted fish?  Was there a funeral or did you just flush him into that great fishbowl in the sewer?  Yeah, I am ready for a social media blackout, especially until I would be able to access the computer or phone without pain.  So, don’t expect my usual clever and amusing posts for at least a couple of weeks, starting August 5.  I’m sure you will all manage just fine without me.

Tina's June 2019 Movies

We are halfway through the year and I have seen 86 movies thus far.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top rating.  Numbering picks up from the previous month and movies marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously. 

73.  Rocketman* (2019) – This biopic of the legendary performer/songwriter/singer Elton John pulls no punches in its portrayal of a man overlooked as a child by his mother and rejected by his father.  His trajectory to fame and fortune, which began when he was teamed up with lyricist Bernie Taupin, brings him access to sex, drugs and anything else that money can buy – all addictive and sometimes life-shattering.  The man who had everything was literally trying to take his own life shortly before donning yet another of his outrageous outfits and bringing down the house.  When he finally comes out to his mother – who says she always knew he was gay – she tells him he will never be loved, delivering yet another rejection.  In the end, she is wrong, but it took a lot of pills and anguish for Elton to find true happiness.  The musical genius that is Elton John began when he was just a very young lad, and his ability to pair the moving words of Taupin with unforgettable melodies resulted in more memorable songs than you can even count, songs that will live forever.  This movie gets it all right, starting with the casting Taron Egerton as Elton.  He is in every scene, and his portrayal gives the story power, pain and poignancy.  He is to Elton John what Rami Malek was to Freddy Mercury in last year’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” for which he won the Oscar.  Throw in the soundtrack and the costumes – each a remarkable repeat of the feathers, hats, boas, platform shoes and other attire favored by John (who, early in his performing career, is urged to liven up his wardrobe from his own drab clothing) – and you have a movie what does justice to a one-of-a-kind performer.  And after all his trials and tribulations, Elton John is still standing.  4 cans.
74.  Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) – It is so hard to watch this movie and know that Robin Williams is no longer with us.  He gives a tour de force performance playing the ex-husband turned nanny/housekeeper to Sally Fields and their children.  The mostly unemployed actor is looking for a job and wants to spend more time with his children.  Mom Fields needs someone to look after the kids when they get home from school.  So, Daniel (Williams) dons a wig and dowdy clothes, affects an old fashioned accent and gets the job.  Mrs. Doubtfire is a much better caregiver than Daniel was a father, and he works his/her way into the hearts of everyone – everyone except Field’s new boyfriend (Pierce Brosnan).  This movie scores really high on the charm scale, and the exceptional talent that Williams always brought to his movies makes the viewer love him and his comedy bits.  Rumor has it that the movie is being turned into a Broadway musical.  I’d see it for sure, but I will miss Robin Williams.  4 cans.
75.  Manhattan (1979) – Woody Allen directed, wrote and stars in this ode to the city he loves.  His first lines in the movie summarize the sense of it perfectly, as his character, Issac Davis, says in attempting to write a book: “Chapter One. He adored New York City.  He idolized it all out of proportion. Eh uh, no, make that he, he romanticized it all out of proportion. Better. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin. Uh, no, let me start this over.”  This black and white beauty of a movie is visually stunning.  That iconic shot of Allen and co-star Diane Keaton sitting on a bench looking at the Brooklyn Bridge is gorgeous.  But these days I look at Allen as an exploiter of women, a fantasizer who believes it is plausible for a 42-year old writer to have a serious relationship with a beautiful 17-year old (Mariel Hemingway) and then dump her for his married best friend’s paramour (Keaton).  Or that a gorgeous Meryl Streep would ever have married this mess of a man.  Streep dumps him for another woman, which is soul-crushing, especially when she writes a book about their relationship.  Typical of Allen films, he plays a neurotic who always gets the girl.  He is an intellectual bully, always playing smarter than everyone else and barely tolerant of those he considers to be beneath him.  But it is a visually arresting movie and there are some good lines.  3½ cans.
76.  Terms of Endearment (1983) – This movie has been in the top 5 of my all-time favorite movies for years.  According to IMDB, the movie website, it “follows hard-to-please Aurora looking for love, and her daughter’s family problems.”  Talk about understatement!  It IS about love – between a mother and daughter (Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger), a husband and wife (Winger and Jeff Daniels) a more mature couple (MacLaine and the man with the killer smile, Jack Nicholson), between two girlfriends (Winger and Lisa Hart Carroll), between a young mother and her children, and it remains as captivating and full of memorable lines as ever (“Give my daughter her medication!”  “I was this close to a clean getaway.”)  Rumor has it that Winger and MacLaine did not get along, but their sparring parts contain so much love that they had to be great actresses to pull it off.  If you have never seen this movie, I implore you, watch it – NOW!  5 cans.
77.  Late Night* (2019) – TV host Katherine (Emma Thompson) and her show are way past their prime, with the formidable Katherine refusing to realize that she needs to shake things up – until the network president tells her that she is going to be replaced.  Along comes the earnest Molly (Mindy Kaling), straight from her QA job at a chemical plant, who becomes the first woman in the all-white male writer’s room.  She is not quickly accepted, and with a dearth of real experience in comedy, her hiring seems more than a little preposterous.  But she gets it, and she’s not afraid to share her thoughts with her icon boss.  Thompson is not playing her character from “Remains of the Day” here; she seems like Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada,” over-the-top bossy and unyielding.  But you know she’s going to soften, and that the rookie will save the day (more or less).  This workplace comedy – written by Kaling, who knows a bit about the subject from her years on “The Office” – is about the best we can expect these days as far as funny movies are concerned.  No great and memorable lines we will quote in 20 years, just arrogance from the fraternity of writers and the star herself and warmth and toughness from the new writer.  I wish funny movies were funnier.  Bring back “When Harry Met Sally!”  3½ cans.
78.  Murder Mystery* (2019) – When you go to Netflix, this new movie will be among the first things you see.  Do yourself a favor and don’t watch it.  Jennifer Anniston is a good comic actor, but she plays her part just like the way she played Rachel on “Friends” or every other comedic part she’s had.  Here she is married to a police detective (Adam Sandler) who can’t even shoot straight, and the two abandon their long-delayed honeymoon to accept an offer to join a large group on a private yacht.  Immediately, the patriarch of the family is stabbed to death, setting off a chain of events in this “Murder on the Orient Express” type plot.  Anniston is average, and Sandler is just as annoying as he always is to me.  No worries about spoilers here:  After waking up from an hour-long nap during the movie, I rewatched the majority of it and then decided it wasn’t worth a minute more of my time.  Think of how much of your time I just saved you.  0 cans for an incomplete.
79.  The Wife (2018) – I can’t believe that Glenn Close did NOT win the Oscar for her performance as a wife seething with resentment and disdain for her acclaimed author husband who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature.  She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills.  He publicly professes his love for her.  And then he hands her his coat to hold.  Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage.  There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.”  Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife.  Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough.  Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography.  Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly.  I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film.  4 cans.
80.  My Dog Skip (2000) – I took my then 7-year old nephew to the movies to see this film when it was originally released, and by the end, the poor kid had to pat my back and comfort me to get me to stop sobbing – and I don’t even like animals!  Frankie Munoz plays Willie, a 9-year old boy who doesn’t quite fit in with the other kids in his small Mississippi town, an only child whose best friend is the star high school athlete next door.  When Dink (Luke Wilson) goes into the Army, Willy’s parents get him a puppy, whom he names Skip.  Soon Skip has the run of the town, trotting over to the grocery store for a piece of bologna and eagerly accompanying young Willie as he goes through the joys and experiences of growing up.  Watching this today for the first time since 2000, I found myself sobbing once again.  Diane Lane and Kevin Bacon play the parents, and there’s no need to reveal the plot since it is a slice of life story that needs to be seen.  I don’t think I can watch it again, but I am glad I took the time for this boy and his dog.  4½ cans.
81.  Sunrise at Campobello (1964) – Having just visited the Roosevelt estate in Hyde Park in May, I was interested in seeing this drama about President Franklin Roosevelt’s coping with the infantile paralysis that crippled him as it is portrayed in this movie.  Ralph Bellamy plays a strapping FDR, roughhousing with his bunch of kids at Campobello and driving Eleanor (the gorgeous Greer Garson has been somehow de-beautified – especially with bad teeth) a little crazy.  The diagnosis of his paralysis is devastating to a man with great political ambition.  Would the public vote for someone in a wheelchair to be president?  FDR’s advisor Louis Howe (Hume Cronyn) stays by his side, directing the comeback, until FDR can literally stand on his own.  This is a dramatic – perhaps overly dramatic – account of the first steps taken by Franklin Delano Roosevelt on his path to the presidency.  3½ cans.
82.  Erin Brockovich (2000) – Julia Roberts portrays the real-life title character, an unemployed single mother with bills to pay and a failed lawsuit resulting from a car accident.  Desperate, she talks her way into a job with her lawyer, and through dogged determination (and considerable use of her trashy wardrobe), she unearths a connection between real estate deals and medical issues related to pollution in California.  Untrained as a lawyer or investigator, Erin talks to the victims and draws out the thread that ties together the neighbors and cancer.  She and her boss (Albert Finney) go after Pacific Gas & Electric for dumping hazardous waste into the local water supply in a landmark case.  Roberts took home the Oscar as Best Actress.  4 cans.
83.  Echo in the Canyon* (2019) – This delicious documentary was playing at my favorite theater, Montgomery Cinema, and as soon as I saw the previews, I was hooked.  The movie is a love letter to all those hip, cool musicians who took folk music and rock and created that iconic California sound, equal parts melody, poetry and a little free love and weed.  Jakob Dylan serves as the tour guide and plays some of the tunes that made the Byrds, Buffalo Springfield, Cosby Stills and Nash and the Mamas and Papas the influential artists that inspired others and each other.  But nobody inspired all of them as much as the Beatles, who begat Roger McGuinn, who influenced the so many more, and on and on we go.  And then there was Brian Wilson, the musical genius behind the Beach Boys.  They say Wilson’s iconic album “Pet Sounds” led to the Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper, which stayed on the charts for three years.  All of this music emanated from the windy road of Laurel Canyon, where these artists flocked and would show up with their guitars to play for and with each other.  If you like the harmonies, melodies and lyrics of songs from the early to late 60s, this song’s for you.  And you get to see the late, great Tom Petty being interviewed by Dylan.  4 cans.
84.  Eight Days a Week - The Beatles on Tour*(2016) – Speaking of memorable music, this look at the Beatles on tour is a fantastic collection of their work just as they hit it big in the early 60s.  Director Ron Howard stitches together tons of footage that shows them evolving from the lovable lads of Liverpool to truly accomplished composers and musicians.  As they took on large and larger venues, they began to sacrifice their personal time and places to create new music in favor of performing – because their record deal was not as lucrative as the proceeds from touring.  So much of the era’s best work is on display here, along with interviews with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr.  It is just a shame they lasted such a short time together, but their prolific body of work will live forever.  You can catch this film on PBS.  4 cans.
85.  Nothing Left Unsaid; Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper (2016) – Some things you just can’t make up, and the life of Gloria Vanderbilt, the “poor little rich girl,” is at the top of that list.  As a child, she was already an heiress of the Vanderbilt fortune when she became the object of a custody dispute between her very young mother and her aunt.  She grew up, married and divorced many times, had children, became a fashion icon, a painter and an actress.  And let’s face it, most of us wore her famous jeans – in fact, I still do.  This documentary (aired on HBO), a series of talks between Vanderbilt and her son, journalist Anderson Cooper, covers it all, from her childhood to his.  The toughest part to watch is her recounting how her son Carter, Anderson’s older brother, jumped from the window of his mother’s NYC penthouse to commit suicide.  Gloria ust died in June, and this film recounting her engrossing life story was my way of paying homage to this unusual and fascinating woman.  3½ cans.
86.  Fracture (2007) – If you like stylish, suspenseful murder mysteries, you can start with this one.  Anthony Hopkins is aeronautics engineer who comes home early one day and shoots his wife in the head.  Ryan Gosling is a hotshot prosecutor with one foot out the door, on his way to a cushy job at a fancy law firm, when he gets what seems to be a can’t-lose case.  Except that the alleged shooter is annoyingly clever and gets under his skin.  For some reason, the movie has never seemed to achieve the acclaim in deserves.  Watch it and judge for yourself.  4 cans.