Hazy Days of Summer

To say it has been hot is an understatement. I don't even want to go outside and sit under my awning in this heat, and it is too hot to turn on the grill to make a steak. And it is only mid-July!

Now that I have finished dinner, washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, I wonder if I have time for a nap before bed…

I have been driving for more than 50 years, but when I see a police car on the road, I still put my hands at the 10 and 2 o’clock positions on my steering wheel until he is out of sight. 

If I ruled the world, people would not be permitted to share their Wordle scores on social media (really, who cares about your Wordle score?), REPLY ALL would be highly restricted, and one-ply toilet paper would be banned.

I have reached the point in life where I can pull a muscle just by turning over in bed. And if I get a tingling feeling, I don’t know whether I am excited or infected.

How does Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, at 4'8", launch herself 12 feet in the air in her floor routine? I have to use a stepstool to get into my bed and I have a good 4 inches on her!

I could never be a doctor. I’m sure that if I put my butt on that little stool on wheels it would slide right out from underneath me and I’d end up on the floor looking nothing like how a competent doctor should look.

You know what is torture? Putting in your password and waiting with baited breath to see if you can get into the site or the app, praying you got the right one!

Speaking of “baited,” there is a convenience store near my house where there is a sign reading, “Live bait.” I don’t fish, but I’m thinking that selling dead bait would do no one, including the fish, any good.

OK, Alexa, I got your previous warnings about excessive heat and possible rain. Your helpful hints are beginning to sound like nagging!

I thought it was just me until my BFF told me that when she thinks of something to look up on Google, by the time she has accessed the app, she forgets what she wanted to find. I do the same thing. Oh, well, we always said we wanted to grow old together. And now we have!

In a world where women’s sports traditionally received far less coverage than men’s sports, even men are talking about women’s basketball these days, thanks largely to sharpshooter Caitlin Clark. And everyone seems to have an opinion about her or at least about the amount of attention she gets. How could we follow the sport in the past when it wasn’t widely broadcasted? To me, this is all good. At least women’s games are now shown on TV and are in the news. Highlights of Clark and lots of other great players are bringing new fans to watch in person or on TV. I’m thrilled to see more of the sport I love.

I’m not a fan of fireworks. As a kid, I loved but feared the sparklers we somehow acquired for the 4th of July, but now I can’t take the loud booms and big crowds at July 4th celebrations. I prefer to sit in the house watching the Macy’s fireworks display in New York from the safety and comfort of my couch! No traffic, always a bathroom available and when it is over, I’m already home!

I miss paper bags at the supermarket. I will never understand why it is OK for Kohl’s to put just one item in a nice, strong paper bag with handles but my ShopRite can’t put a dozen items in ANY bag except the ones I have to bring in and pack on my own. Please, somebody, make this make sense!

The other day I decided to make a recipe so old that the copy I had was cut out of The Home News had yellowed with age (no date was on the paper). It was from Panico’s in New Brunswick and was for one of my favorite dishes that they made. The remarkable thing was I knew exactly where it was. And I made it that day, and I still love it!

Recently I unearthed my reliable old vegetable steamer from the kitchen cabinet and used it to make fresh green beans. That poor old thing had not seen the light of day since I moved to this house. I was surprised to learn that many of my old friends still have and use theirs. What’s next? My potato masher has been neglected for years, too!

So, we had a July 4th without defending champion Joey Chestnut competing in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, that paragon of American taste and culture. I love a good dog, but the thought of chomping down dozens of dogs (Chestnut holds the record of 70+ hot dogs) and wet buns (their choice, not a requirement) in a 10-minute period. (I can eat maybe 2.) It is a stomach-turning American tradition that is my guilty pleasure. But Chestnut signed up to promote plant-based hot dogs that compete against Nathan’s all-beef traditional hot dogs and he was dropped from the contest. First, ewww – plant-based hot dogs? And second, who knew there were so many rules in Major League Eating (that’s the name of the official organization)? I guess Chestnut is retired now as the all-time champ while he finds something else to do on July 4.

It's hard to believe that people still fall for scams that ask them to pay for whatever the scammers claim they didn’t pay for by using gift cards. Seriously, why would I believe that a legitimate entity would want me to pay for something with a Target gift card? When in doubt, people, check it out!

I recently had an eye infection that required prescription drops for treatment. The next week my other eye became very irritated from my eye injection and I needed OTC drops. Now the original eye is sore, so I bought more drops and cleverly marked them as right eye, not to be confused with the drops for my left eye. I’m getting really good at giving myself eye drops, but getting tired of looking like the creature from the black lagoon.

I’m here to extol the virtues of Urgent Care. Sure, you want your regular doctor to check you out when something is wrong, but when time is of the essence or you can’t get an appointment for weeks, and it isn’t a life-threatening condition that requires a trip to the emergency room, Urgent Care is a viable alternative. I was scheduled to get on a plane recently and needed to be seen before I left for the airport. At 8 AM that morning, I was in the local Urgent Care office, where they diagnosed my problem and sent a prescription to the local CVS. I was able to get on the plane with medication in my carryon bag and felt so much peace of mind. I have been there so often lately that they know my name when I show up. I’m like Norm entering Cheers for a beer. I would prefer not to have issues requiring immediate attention, but Urgent Care has been a lifesaver (that may be overstating things a bit…).