Tech Talk

I appreciate technology as much as the next person. I like the way it makes our lives easier and lets us do things we never thought possible. But that’s not to say it doesn’t present challenges.

In the last month or so, my phone died and I ended up with a new phone AND a smart watch, which is still keeping secrets from me.

It started with the phone, which literally died one day in my arms. Dead as a doornail. Could not be resuscitated. 

Despite all attempts and instructions from Google on reviving it, it was declared legally dead the next day at the Verizon store. I was told that I could take it to a repair place since not much is done at the Verizon store except upsell customers on new models.  Instead, I agreed to pay $50 NOT to have it repaired (I know) and I opted for a replacement phone that would be shipped to me the next day. But it snowed and the phone didn’t arrive for 2 days, which meant I was phoneless! 

Being without a phone was absolute torture. No way to connect if the car broke down. No texts with friends, my huge Wordle streak of two days abruptly halted, my basketball tickets inaccessible. I had to figure out how to retrieve my contacts from the “cloud” or be permanently out of touch (which actually has some degree of appeal). And since I couldn’t access the old phone, just activating the replacement was impossible. Where’s the SIM card? What is the SIM card? Do I need a SIM card? Thanks to YouTube videos, I finally extricated the old one, and I had to use the back of an earring to get it out. 

The morning after it arrived, I showed up at the Verizon store 3 minutes before it even opened on a Sunday for help in activating the replacement. Verizon kept sending me authorization codes by text, and I couldn’t access the texts so I was out of luck.

Ironically, I had made a New Year’s Resolution to cut down on my screen time. Going cold turkey was NOT what I had in mind!

Verizon got the phone going, but I figured I’d just get a new one. I ordered a brand new Galaxy S24, not even in stock yet. They really don’t want people at the store. Their phone stock on hand is minimal since they push you to order online. I know my contemporaries will agree that we want to SEE the phone, HOLD the phone and have someone EXPLAIN the phone. 

They assured me the new zillion dollar phone would be "FREE" (if you don’t count my monthly charges going up) with the trade-in of the replacement phone (the original one had to be shipped to Texas, where I picture a phone mortuary dealing with dead models). I declined ordering the model with artificial intelligence since I didn't really want a phone that is so much smarter than me, but they sucked me into ordering a smart watch that will receive texts and monitor a bunch of health measures. I have three watches that I have purchased or was given in the last year, so I really did not need a new one, but, you know, it keeps track of your pulse and exercise. I hope it doesn’t come with a nagging voice when I’m just relaxing on the couch! Again, it was “free.” I only hope Dick Tracy comes with it to show me how it works. 

As I said, Verizon really does not want you in the store. They replaced the comfy couches they had when I was last there with a hard bench you can sit on while you wait. When you have to sit at a station with a rep who explains how these things are “FREE,” you perch on a stool with virtually no back. Do they NOT have customers over age 60? After all, we are the ones who need the sales pitch and the help. They told me that they would be happy to set up the new phone when it arrives at my house but now they charge $30 for that service, which used to be free. I suppose a seat on the uncomfortable stools will cost money, too, some day. 

I also went to Amazon and ordered a case, screen protectors and a charging block since the phone comes only with a cord and nothing that goes into the wall. I definitely got my $30 worth out of my Verizon service, making them transfer whatever I couldn’t and answer a bunch of questions about the phone AND the watch, which the rep said she should charge me for separately, but she didn’t. I even made her put the glass protector screen on, which she said they don’t do unless you buy it there. I didn’t. Be nice to old people.

The new “FREE” phone is working, protected by my wise advance purchases, and missing just the vast array of photo albums I had on my old phone. All of the pictures are “in the cloud” but sorting them and reassembling the albums would be tedious work, so I’ll just start anew. I have set up the phone to upload them to the Verizon Cloud, Google Photos and Shutterfly. Everything is in multiple places. I only have to figure out how to find them and get them when I want them!

The new “FREE” smart watch is interesting. It tracks your heart rate, exercise (except when I am walking through ShopRite, which somehow doesn’t count). They say it can be used in the pool, but I didn't want to tempt fate. And it recognizes my sleep patterns. It is like Santa Claus. I wear it in bed and it knows when I am sleeping and knows when I’m awake. I feel alternately safe and spooked. It even takes into account the time I am NOT asleep, when I wake up, hit the bathroom and then try to get back to sleep. It breaks down my sleep into periods of light, deep and REM sleep and notes when I am awake. And if I take a nap during the day, that is also recorded. If it can do all of that, why CAN’T it count my steps in ShopRite? Oh, and it also tells the time.

It also offers biometric ID, which means you can open it with your fingerprint. Great when that works, but 75% of the time it acts as though it has no record of my index finger on file.

So far, I like it, except when I got an alert at a Rutgers basketball game that said I had fallen down. It wanted to know if it should call for help. I was merely sitting and watching the game at that point, so I don’t know what constitutes an actual fall. My heart rate might have been high, but I hadn’t even stood up, no less fallen down. 

I’m obsessed with the sleep stats. I check every morning and send the reading to my phone. The thing can do an EKG on me, but I have no idea how to interpret the results. I haven’t figured out how to check my email yet, and there are more functions that I need to research. It is nice and bright (except during my sleep time), so I can even see what time it is in the movies. 

As for the “FREE” aspect, the hardware is free, but my monthly fees have increased. But I didn’t have to pay $1000. Kind of. 

If only it knew how many steps I take in ShopRite!