As I write this, I am – hopefully – recovering from my first bout of Covid. I managed to dodge that bullet for more than 3 years, but it hit me the week of my 55th high school reunion. I worked on the planning committee all year, so not being able to join the festivities and see people I specifically invited was a huge disappointment. I tested positive several days earlier in the week and then again on the morning of, so going, even while wearing a mask, was out of the question. My symptoms were like a very nasty cold – congestion, coughing, sneezing – accompanied by fatigue, body aches and loss of taste and smell. It is weird eating and having no taste sensation, so I have cut down on my intake and might lose a few pounds. This virus is no joke: A member of my community died of Covid last week and his wife remains in the hospital. So, let’s stay vigilant. And although I have now had Covid and I am also boosted (on the day before I tested positive), I’ll be wearing a mask for YOUR protection when I finally emerge from my personal quarantine.
Ah, autumn, when the days get shorter, the leaves fall and there is pumpkin everything. The other thing that marks the season in an election year is the arrival of those candidate promo pieces, touting what they did or what they plan to do to make your life better. You can’t even tell the party they represent, because it most often isn’t included on the giant postcard. These mailings are so big that they rival those lamented Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons. Some of them measure 8 x 10! In any case, they spend a lot of money on design, printing and mailing. I’d rather see that money spent on food for the hungry, homes for the homeless, better education and benefits for our veterans. And I miss BB&B!
It's fall, and that means football every weekend on TV. It also means that “60 Minutes” will be delayed nearly every Sunday. That used to drive my mother crazy. She would put on CBS promptly at 7 PM and find a football game airing instead. Inevitably, she would say, with a tone like Beatrice Arthur, “Again with the football?” If you knew my mother, you can just hear this in your head, can’t you?
Speaking of football, in a game and broadcast overflowing with technology that enables viewers to see replays from every possible angle, why do they still rely on two middle-aged guys carrying a 10-foot chain onto the field to measure for first downs? Shouldn’t there be a more accurate and less antiquated system? Perhaps something using lasers? Anything but a chain, which may or may not have been precisely placed and transported to the spot where the ball is marked! I’m throwing the penalty flag!
Pet peeve #412: Baggers in the supermarket who cram everything into two bags when I have plenty of extras. I sort my stuff on the belt, keeping the cold stuff together so it can go into the insolated bag. Today that bag was completely empty, and I could hardly lift the other two – even after I showed the bagger the cold bag and told him to put the cold stuff into it. Just let me do it myself! I stood there and repacked, putting the fish and lettuce and fruits and vegetables in their rightful bag. This should not be so hard!
Did I miss an earthquake in my house? What other explanation could there be for pictures on the wall that are suddenly crooked? How does that happen?
You know you are getting old when you start buying sympathy cards in bulk.
This year I started my Yom Kippur fast at 6:00 PM and by 7:30 I had to restrain myself from foraging for snacks – even though there is nothing here that qualifies. By the next morning I wasn’t hungry – yet. I looked in the mirror and thought I looked gaunt. I weighed myself to check on progress, since I always think of Yom Kippur as a good time to start the latest weight loss effort. I weighed exactly the same as the day before. Then the next day I will eat a TikTac and gain 5 pounds. The title of my book would be, “It’s a Losing Battle.”
Highlight of my day: I was stopped at a light on Route 206 when I saw someone make a left turn at that light. I was shocked, because there is a sign that says NO TURNS and that’s why I was in the jughandle, waiting for the light to change. But I wasn’t the only one who saw that – a police car came up behind him, lights flashing, and practically nabbed him in the drive-through lane at Burger King, to give him a ticket. It made my day!
I’m not a fan of fortune cookies per se, but I like reading the fortune inside. I just can’t figure out how that tiny strip of paper gets into that cookie.
I’ll never really understand cheesecake: Not really cake and not really cheese. I’ll save my calories for something chocolate!
Sometimes I just feel like having a box of Stove Top Stuffing. So far, I haven’t given in to the urge.
When figuring out how best to organize my kitchen when I moved into this house in 2015, I never took into account the amount of space I would need to devote to water bottles! Who knew?
I haven’t been in NYC much in recent years, but when I went in to see a Broadway show recently, I was shocked at how the whole city seemed to smell of weed. That sweet, smoky smell is unmistakable (hey, I went to college in the 60s-70s, so I know the smell of pot) and it is EVERYWHERE! It’s legal now and the cannabis dealers must be doing a LOT of business because it is all over the city!
What’s with the women in my development who carry a handbag while taking a walk? There aren’t any places inside my community to spend money, so what are they carrying in those bags? I can understand they want to take a phone on a walk but stick that in your pocket or wear a jacket with pockets if your pants don’t have any. I’m just mystified by this practice.
A baseball fan recently tried to bring his emotional support animal to a Phillies game. It was an alligator. You can’t make this stuff up!
I will never be able to keep up with the volume of emails (on 4 accounts!), text messages, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts, etc. I’m spending way too much time online just trying. I could watch more movies and read more books if I spent less time reading posts asking where to get a dog groomed and watching videos on how to use a wrench. Sometimes I feel like Lucy in the chocolate factory, with more and more stuff coming at me faster and faster. And I know I’m not alone. You just took time to read this when you could have been doing something else!
A colleague of mine from J&J announced her retirement many years ago and I asked her what she planned to do with her free time. “Clean my house,” she replied. It has to be about 25 years now and I wonder if she finished. We all have plans to clean our houses – although that was NOT at the top of my retirement list – yet it is SO HARD to part with things we have held onto for years (damn you, Marie Kondo). Recently I made an old recipe I got from a friend probably 40 years ago, using my nearly-new looking giant Farberware electric frying pan from the 80s. I even used a stainless steel bowl from probably 50 years ago to mix the sauce. I don’t use these things often but when I need them, it’s nice to know they are there. That’s my justification for not weeding out more stuff, and I’m sticking with it.
Speaking of cleaning out, I have moved twice since I retired at the end of 2006, so I have been through everything I own more than once, tossing photo albums full of fall pictures, getting rid of my stereo system and all of my records (why I still have my CD collection I can’t explain), and yet, things still pile up. There are the clothes I can’t wear because they are too small – but they might fit again – and the clothes that are too big that God forbid I should fit into again. But despite any purging of possessions, I still occasionally find a bunch of cancelled checks from banks that no longer exist. I still have a few old paycheck stubs in my files to remind me how little I was paid when I started in 1972 (try $125 a week; my first raise was $8). My TV Guide Fall Preview Issue collection is safely tucked away, and somewhere I have a picture of my first couch in an ad for Macy’s. Like the rest of you, I’ll never get rid of all of this stuff and I don’t even want to try. I have a feeling that Goodwill and 1-800-JUNK will have a field day when I’m gone!
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