Wintry Mix

I’m not a fan of the “wintry mix.” Or anything with the name “winter” in it. Except this blog entry, that is.

The technician in the retina office tilted back the chair so she could put drops in my eyes and asked me, “Are you comfortable?” It took all of my will power not to answer – in my best Jewish voice – “Eh, I make a living.”

I have come reluctantly to the conclusion that the outcome of any game I attend is not affected by my choice of socks, shirt or any other article of clothing I wear. I’m still superstitious, but I have to face the fact that a shot will go into the basket or not with no regard for my wearing red socks. 

Crudité is nothing more than a fancy word for vegetables that someone couldn’t bother cooking and instead plopped on a platter and served for us to gnaw on.

We are three years (2020, 2021 and 2022) into this pandemic and long after most people have stopped using a mask, I'm still walking around wearing one. I swear it made a difference when a friend who sat next to me at a recent basketball game tested positive for Covid two days later. I was masked and, I guess, protected. I'm used to it, it's no big deal to me, so I will continue to go outside looking like I'm about to knock off a liquor store. Safety first!

I was telling a friend that I often have a dream where someone appears and the next day I will hear from that person. This unfortunately is not the case with Ryan Gosling.

I just had my showerhead replaced with a hand sprayer that latches on to the water supply with a magnet so you can use it as a regular showerhead or a hand sprayer – and I can reach it! The choice of water flow is adjustable from “gentle rainfall” to what could best be described as “massive, intensive storm; evacuate your location immediately.” (I made that up; that isn’t really an option – but it sure feels like it!)  I’m not sure I need to sandblast my body but if it gets rid of a few pounds, sign me up!

If only people wouldn’t ask dumb questions. My friend Kathy, who works for Staples, has a bunch of stories about people coming in to get their ink cartridges refilled – without bringing in the cartridges – or asking the dumbest questions. For me, whenever I order a plain hamburger, I am inevitably asked, “Do you want cheese on that?’ No, because then it would be a cheeseburger! The other day I asked a Walmart employee where I could find liquid hand soap and she asked, “to wash hands?” Yes, that’s the general idea. People, please THINK!

The Pantone Color of the year for 2023 is Viva Magenta 18-1750. It is described by the color experts at Pantone Matching System (PMS) as one that, “vibrates with vim and vigor. It is a shade rooted in nature descending from the red family and expressive of a new signal of strength. Viva Magenta is brave and fearless, and a pulsating color whose exuberance promotes a joyous and optimistic celebration, writing a new narrative.” I hope that when I die someone will be that effusive in describing me. A dear friend brought the selection to my attention, and as much as I like and approve of the color, it is even better knowing that someone saw the news and immediately thought of me. 

You know I don’t usually decorate for Hanukah beyond lighting my menorah and putting out a couple of tea towels and candles, but this year I was in the mood – and in the Hallmark store – so I thought I would pick up a few little things to brighten the season. I was very disappointed to find only Hanukah cards and gift bags and NO decorative items. So the next time you think I’m not doing enough, I suggest you provide the decorations and I’ll find a place to put them. No glitter, please!

I was trying to find the price of a sweater in Kohl’s recently and I stopped an employee to ask where the price check device was. “We don’t have them anymore,” she replied, adding, “I could check it for you or you can do it on your phone.” I responded, “You can do it for me. I don’t work here.”

And speaking of Kohl’s, if I don’t get an email or a text daily from them, I start to worry whether someone there is sick. No one reaches out to me more than Kohl’s – not my family, my BFF or the rest of my friends. They really, really LIKE me.

Thanks, Consumer Reports, for letting me I am eligible to subscribe to your magazine. What exactly was the criteria or benchmark I had to reach? And thank you, too, Omaha Steaks, for giving me the opportunity to buy overpriced meat in packages that include things I don’t even consume. As a party of one, I’d be eating a LOT of protein if I bought your package of beef. And thank you to all of the places where I have shopped for asking me what my shopping experience was like – sometimes before I receive the package. ShopRite, just so you know, I am not racing home to fill out your survey. And for the car dealer whose service department did a good job, please don’t beg me to give you only the highest marks. You are decreasing the authenticity of the survey. Just let me shop in peace!

I am lamenting the demise of the incandescent light bulb. All I wanted was simple 3-way bulb for a lamp in my family room, but after checking several places in person, I guess I’ll be forced to go online. The alternative is to calculate the lumens and compare that to the traditional light bulbs in several of my lamps because eventually, they will all need to be replaced. I’m sure this is way above my skill set and I doubt this is what Thomas Edison had in mind, although he probably would admire the ingenuity of today’s engineers. UPDATE: I found LCD bulbs that will work for my lamps. However, my choice is either RELAX or REFRESH, which presumably means one is brighter than the other. Will either match the other bulbs in my house? If they don’t, that will drive me crazy!

Alexa seems to have started some sort of sibling rivalry between the Echo in my family room and the Dot in my bedroom. Sometimes I tell the Echo to do something and I hear Dot from the bedroom chime in, trying to get in on the action. And she doesn’t seem capable of telling time well lately either. I have a standard routine with a smart plug on my hallway lamp. Alexa is supposed to turn the light on 40 minutes before sundown. Sometimes the light goes on an hour before sundown and other times, she seems to have lost track of it altogether, so I have to tell her to turn the light on. What’s happening, girlfriend? Asleep at the switch?

I just found a dryer ball comfortably hidden in the sleeve of a sweatshirt I hadn’t worn in months. I hope it had a relaxing vacation because it is now back to work, tumbling around the dryer with its brothers, making my clothes soft and unwrinkled. And he thought he was finally free!

I don’t mind pulp in my orange juice. I kind of like chewing my juice for breakfast.

I do mind crumbs in my toaster, and I especially mind when no amount of shaking can dislodge them so they rattle around.

My unscientific survey reveals to me that when the sign on a door clearly indicates push or pull, many people don’t follow instructions and do the opposite. I watched a woman wrestle with the door to the doctor’s office the other day and I was convinced she would be late to her appointment. She finally figured it out.

I wonder whether the people who declare, “That’s not my cup of tea,” actually drink tea. 

My doctor’s office has to give me a script for a diagnostic test and told me they would put it in the mail for me. In the mail? It is 2022! Are you sending it by way of the Pony Express? I was told they can’t email it to me – yet they send me messages all the time to check their stupid portal where there is a message thanking me for making an appointment. I asked if I could stop at the office and pick it up. That’s ridiculous!

A dear friend of mine recently lost her mother, whom I also considered a dear friend. Dorothy attended any and all Rutgers events, first with her husband Jack and daughter Nancy and friend Kathy, and then, when Jack died, with just the girls and often with me. She was a kind, loyal woman of deep faith who loved all things Rutgers. The last time I went to her house for dinner, I couldn’t help but marvel at her extensive collection of Corningware. She had every size, every pattern – and she used them; they were not there just for show. After Dorothy passed away, Nancy gave me one of her biggest containers, knowing I was one of Dorothy’s biggest fans. Every time I see it in my cabinet or storing food in my refrigerator or reheating something in my microwave, I picture Dorothy with a smile on her face. And I know that the food I eat will taste just a bit better because Dorothy is a part of it. 

I was recently on hand for the dedication of the basketball court at the RAC (now called Jersey Mike’s Arena) to retired Rutgers Women’s Basketball Coach C. Vivian Stringer. The floor there now sports her distinctive signature at mid-court. CVS (as we like to call her) has received so many accolades in her 50-year, Hall of Fame coaching career, but she seemed genuinely humbled by the gesture. She was surrounded by friends, family, fans and numerous former players from her coaching days at Cheney State, Iowa and her 27 years at Rutgers. To see the loyalty and love that they have for her tells you all you need to know about a woman who is considered a pioneer, a mentor and a role model. One of her more recent players is coaching at her high school alma mater now and could not attend, but she sent her mother from Chicago, who made sure she Facetimed with her daughter so they could all talk to Coach Stringer. The incredible influence she has had on the lives of her players and people surrounding her makes her the legend we have come to know and love. It is heartwarming to know that all current and future players – men AND women – will be playing on the “C. Vivian Stringer” court. It doesn’t get better than that.