Every now and then I hear myself shouting out an answer on “Jeopardy” and wondering how I knew it. These days, I’m shouting at the TV during "Jeopardy" for entirely different reasons.
I cleaned my humidifier this morning with vinegar and now my whole bathroom smells like salad dressing.
You know what is annoying? When I am yawning like crazy and I STILL can’t fall asleep.
I buy the “executive turkey” at the deli counter because, well, you know, I used to be one. I’ll let you decide whether that means I used to be an executive or a turkey.
For someone who hasn’t been in school in nearly 50 years and who has no children or grandchildren, why am I still so tempted to buy school supplies when the displays go up? I’m not sure why I continue to have this fascination. A neighbor of mine was collecting school supplies for local kids, so I was able to shop for pens, pencils, markers, etc., and satisfy my craving for a good cause!
When I had acne as a teenager, doctors and the general consensus at the time said that I would outgrow it. I’m 70 now and wondering how old I have to be to outgrow it. Will I outlive it?
As I ate a piece of French toast recently, I wondered whether someone in France was eating a piece of good old plain toast and condemning Americans for their poor taste in food.
It disappoints me that there is a warning label on the package of Tide Pods that tells people not to eat them. What makes us think that anyone stupid enough to eat them would be smart enough to read and heed the warning? And if this warning is for children, the ones who might eat the pods can’t read anyway.
I have to clean out my freezer (I’ll spare you the long and boring story) so eating a single-sized pizza and cracking open a box of coveted Girl Scout Thin Mints was really only to accomplish that goal. But I also realized that if I simply downsize my ridiculously large collection of ice packs, I can probably double my usable food storage space. I have more ice packs on hand than a physical therapy place!
In any case, I could use a professional organizer to study my refrigerator and my dishwasher and show me how to use the space more efficiently. The irony is that I don’t have much food around and I hardly ever use the dishwasher, though my BFF tells me all the time that I should!
My plan in August was to go peach picking with a friend, but the peach orchard was closed. So instead, we went to the farmers market where the orchard sells their peaches and I picked up two quarts. I guess you could say I picked them myself, but in reality, they were already in a bag. No bending and gathering the peaches this way, which was fine with me!
I’m such a sucker for gadgets. I found a sandwich maker branded “Nostalgia” on display for only $8.96, and I just HAD to buy it. It makes just one sandwich at a time (which is fine), and claims to be great with pre-fab cinnamon rolls, but so far I have only used it once, for a tuna melt. Listen, for $9 bucks, I can hardly BUY a sandwich, so this gizmo is really a bargain. I have it neatly stored next to the juicer I bought last year, alongside my food sealer. No comment!
Why are there so many insurance commercials? There’s my favorite – Flo from Progressive – along with the ubiquitous Geico gecko (and a thousand other Geico iterations), the emu from Liberty Mutual, the crew of Jake and the athletes who hawk State Farm, the not-just-for-farmers Farmers Insurance, USAA for military families (but not associated with the actual military), All-State and many more who regularly appear on TV to remind us to have insurance. I don’t use any of these companies. I’m sticking with low-key New Jersey Manufacturers, which only recently started to advertise and touts the fact that they don’t have a mascot or a jingle representing their brand. And they answer the phone every time I have a question or a problem. I don’t need a gecko with a British accent to sell me insurance!
I’m FINALLY back at aqua aerobics after a two-year break because of my shoulder injury (torn rotator cuff) and subsequent surgery and physical therapy as well as COVID. Not much has changed, except people who are not vaccinated must wear masks to the poolside. The pool water is still too cold so it takes me forever to get really wet. The paper towel holder in the bathroom – the kind you are supposed to run your hands over to get a towel dispensed – still randomly spits out a towel even if no one is in the vicinity. And the soap in the shower still smells like Stella D’Oro Breakfast Treats. It’s great to be back!
Speaking of the pool, I am taking aqua Zumba once a week and I really enjoy it, which only proves you don’t have to be good at something to have fun doing it. Sometimes I want to tell the instructor that the reason I couldn’t do a particular step is because the water got in my way. Let’s just say that it is a good thing this is a “no-cut” team, or I would have to find something else to do on Fridays!
My washing machine has a dozen different settings (sheets and towels, cold and hot, delicates, speed wash, etc.) for washing and several more for rinsing and spinning. I use two. What about you?
I have heard from so many people during the pandemic, people who reached out to see if I was safe, how I was managing through the lockdown and whether I had everything I needed. But who kept in touch best? Kohl’s. Nearly every day – or at least several times a week – they would send me emails encouraging me to shop, enticing me with special sales and offers, promising to bring whatever I bought right to my door. It’s nice to know they care, right? Now send me that Kohl’s cash!
As a huge sports fan, I always watch the US Open Tennis Tournament. Years ago, I attended the event regularly, back when it was held at Flushing Meadows and then when the USTA built the Billie Jean King Tennis Center on the site of the 1964 New York World’s Fair. This year I watched in awe as two young women, aged 18 & 19 respectively, both unranked, battled it out for the championship. Anna Raducanu of Great Britain beat Leylah Fernandez of Canada in straight sets. The next day Anna got a congratulatory message from Queen Elizabeth herself – signed “Elizabeth R.” Wow! I look forward to a great rivalry between these two talented young ladies. I hope they continue to grow and find joy in the sport without overextending themselves with endorsement deals and fashion shoots and other draining obligations.
NY Governor Andrew Cuomo: From Hero to Zero. One year he is must-see TV with his Covid briefings. The next year the attorney general of NY finds in an investigation that he sexually harassed multiple, credible women and he finally resigns from office. I have no sympathy for his fall from grace. His wounds were self-inflicted. Let this be a lesson to all men: Your teasing and touching of women is unwanted and wrong. Why don’t you get that? Cuomo has daughters in their 20s. How would he react if they were treated the same way he treated other women?
Please get vaccinated. I did it for you.
I watched so much of the coverage of the 20th anniversary of 9/11, including several documentaries, and for some reason, this occasion rattled me more this year than ever. I woke up, watched, cried, threw up, watched some more, cried some more and I can’t believe it has been 20 years since we lost nearly 3000 poor souls in those acts of terrorism. Like everyone else, I remember that day clearly, what I was doing and how heartsick I felt for the families who lost loved ones. I still marvel at the thought of the police and firefighters who ran INTO the buildings to try to save people who were trapped. And I especially appreciate the outpouring of kindness people showed to each other – whether they were friends or strangers – on that fateful day and the days thereafter. I wish we would all put aside our personal, political beliefs and unify for the greater good.
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