I remembered I was out of coffee so I was going to buy coffee, but then I remembered that I don’t drink coffee and only keep it on hand for when I have visitors. Then I remembered that I don’t have visitors, so now I have neither coffee nor visitors. But when someone finally is allowed into this house, I guess I'll have to buy coffee.
If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, where does that leave those of us who don’t drink coffee?
Time really flies, even when I am doing next to nothing.
Wouldn’t it be great if you actually could laugh your ass off?
My hairbrush is missing in action. I know it will turn up, but really, how could this happen? I use it in ONE PLACE and I have no idea how it could just disappear. No worries, though, because – naturally – I have a back-up.
I liked it when I was making vacation plans, not vaccination plans.
Trying to get an appointment to get the COVID vaccine is like trying to get tickets to a Springsteen concert. Someone equated the experience with "The Hunger Games.” You sign up EVERYWHERE, hoping one of these registrations will result in an appointment. I’m one of the lucky ones in this crapshoot of a system. I got my first shot on January 21 after about an hour of waiting (in the car) at the local community college. Now my second shot is scheduled for February 18, and it had better not snow that day! As they sing in Hamilton, I am not giving up my shot! Instead of worrying about myself, I’m staying busy worrying about my many friends who, despite signing up everywhere, calling, etc., haven’t been so lucky. I’m hoping they all get their appointments SOON! What an absolute boondoggle!
I read most of my books on my Kindle, which is convenient and comfortable to use. But I can’t even tell you the title of the book half the time because it doesn’t show on the device unless you back out of the book. It’s hard to recommend a great book when you can’t remember the title.
If you are an author and your book is not described somewhere by someone as a “page-turner,” you might as well go and sell tires for a living. How many books have been described that way?
When I use the expression “throw in the towel,” it doesn’t mean I’m giving up. It just means I am doing yet another load of laundry.
To continue the weirdness of the past 12 months, I now watch Rutgers Women’s Basketball games on my iPad (unless they appear on TV), spending the entire game talking to my friend of 50 years, who normally would be sitting next to me at the Rutgers Athletic Center – watching the game in person. We haven’t missed the traffic or being out in the cold, but we sure do miss cheering for this exciting team up close and personal. Thank goodness for the technology that makes this experience the next best thing to being there. Meanwhile, the team was forced to take a Covid-related break, missing 8 games in 33 days. They are playing once again, and I hope everyone is safe and healthy with no lingering effects if, in fact, there were cases of Covid and not just positive test results.
On Saturdays, my sister’s phone gives her a traffic update for her trip to ShopRite. Mine used to tell me how long it would take me to get “to work,” with work being the address of the Associate Alumnae of Douglass College, where I traveled so often that Google assumed I must be employed there. Since I haven’t been there in a year, I stopped getting that message. I’m just waiting to see if Google figures out that ShopRite is now the only place I go!
It is fairly well-established that I love “The Golden Girls” and I generally watch the show on the Hallmark Channel every morning as I putter around, getting ready for my day. But this year The Hallmark Channel dumped “I Love Lucy,” which had aired right before TGG, in favor of “Reba,” a show not nearly classic enough to be included in the morning line-up. Reba? Really? Maybe it is a great show, but from the little I have seen, it doesn’t measure up and it has an annoying laugh track. Bring back my LUCY!
I watch a lot of murder mysteries on shows like “Dateline,” “20/20” and “48 Hours,” and I want you to know that if I end up missing, rest assured that I did not leave voluntarily. I have no desire to live “off the grid” and I would never leave the house without my phone and keys. So, make sure you launch a thorough investigation, because I would never choose to disappear and have my story featured on one of those shows.
Let’s talk about expiration dates – not about whether to follow them as a practice but how difficult it is to find/read them. I have resorted to using a magnifying glass to read the dates on my spice jars, and, even then, the type is so fine and so tiny that it is almost impossible. Jars of spaghetti sauce are no better. And the worst are packages that have the dates in some kind of secret code that I am not smart enough to crack. Uniformity and visibility are needed to improve this situation!
I threw caution to the wind recently and ate a half of a grapefruit (and finished it the next day). I’m on Lipitor for my cholesterol, and you aren’t supposed to eat grapefruit because of interaction with that drug, but I allow myself to indulge once or twice each winter season. That’s my idea of being WILD these days.
One of the great appeals of Amazon Prime was access to the treasure trove of movies they carried FOR FREE on the Prime platform. These days, more and more of them are available only on a rent or buy basis. Though they are not that expensive to rent, it goes against my nature to pay to see them, even though I never minded paying to go to the movies. I guess Jeff Bezos didn’t make enough BILLIONS of dollars before he announced his retirement. Renting a movie from Amazon is not what I signed up for when I became a Prime member. Eventually, some of these movies end up in other places where I can see them for free. I’ll wait.
Every now and then I get a message from LinkedIn about a job that sounds like it might be right up my alley. One was even a communications position for a company two miles from here! Then I read the job description and realized two things: 1. I have no idea what the description of the job means; and 2. They would probably require that I actually WORK. Here in year 15 of retirement, I don’t think I have those work muscles anymore.
Whenever it is cold out and I am drying my hair, I can hear my mother admonishing me, “Don’t go out with a wet head.” And I dry every last drop.
If it gets much colder, I’ll be popping my PJs into the microwave right before bedtime.
I’m trying hard to balance my intellectual feeling that everyone is entitled to her own opinion with my emotional feeling that tells me, “But not THAT opinion.”
I received the printed copy of the Yellow pages recently and couldn’t help but wonder why we still get it. Why not offer an opt-out so people who don’t want or need the printed version could decline receiving it? How many of these directories will languish in the bottom of a drawer, get recycled or – worse – get tossed into the trash?
After all of this time spent locked up in the house, I guess I can’t really use the excuse, “I didn’t get a chance to …(fill in the blank).” I had plenty of chances, I just didn’t get around to doing whatever it was I was supposed to do. Like clear out my old emails, save my pictures (at least I did SOME of that), gather up and get rid of chargers for devices I no longer use and get rid of the phones and other electronics that are now obsolete. And I wonder why I save the boxes my phones, tablets, etc. came wrapped in. After a few years of having and using these devices, did I think I would put them back in their original packaging and try to return them?
I’ll admit it: I cried throughout much of Inauguration Day. At one point I literally sobbed, and it felt cathartic. Four years of emotional abuse, of trying but failing to stay detached, of seeing the spread of outright lies and the promotion of racism, misogyny and antisemitism brought me to the breaking point.
The world will never be a perfect place or the perfect Union sought by our forefathers, but I hope that the return of empathy, grace and intelligence will serve our country with dignity and respect so often missing.
I really try to keep politics out of this space, but I have to say that the clear-cut case against the former president in his impeachment trial was irrefutable. He clearly incited his lunatic base to storm the Capitol and he expressed no concern about the safety of members of Congress or even his own vice president. That anyone could listen to the case against him and NOT vote to convict him is an utter disgrace. The one thing that Trump has said that absolutely rings true is when he claimed in 2016, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” I guess that applies to his accomplices in the Senate, too. If this is not an impeachable offense, what is to prevent future presidents from becoming absolute dictators?
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