September Silliness

I watched the first episode of the new season of one of my favorite shows, “Dancing with the Stars.” I am always amazed at the people who are considered “stars” who I have never heard of and how they quickly learn to dance. And, for the women, dance in heels! This season is different, with long-time congenial host Tom Bergeron replaced by model and TV host Tyra Banks, who can best be described as not Tom. Carrie Ann is blonde, Bruno is gray and Derek Hough is replacing curmudgeon Len Goodman as a judge since Len is restricted from traveling because of the pandemic. They are using crowd noise in the empty ballroom and it was too loud to be able to hear the comments by the judges or whatever Tyra Banks was reading from a script. The bar for new, fresh entertainment in this house is pretty low these days, so I will be watching despite my complaints.

Overheard in ShopRite: Cashier to customer: “That’s a lovely mask. Did you make it?” Customer: “No, I bought it online.” Welcome to the new normal.

In the past few years, cool, funky designer socks have been a big fashion hit. Now, it is masks. You can find masks with great works of art, or fun fabrics and colors, with team names and logos, with reminders: VOTE; masks that are bedazzled and even masks with see-through plastic so you can tell whether someone is smiling. Who knew masks would become a fashion statement? The important thing is no matter what they look like, WEAR A MASK! It is the easiest way you can protect yourself and others from Covid. (Steps off soapbox…)

I saw one older woman wearing her mask just right, but also wearing a pair of dark glasses (assuming some kind of eye condition here), and she would have been unrecognizable even if she had been my mother. Maybe that’s the point?

I’ll tell you one thing: Wearing that mask means spending a lot less time tweezing the hair on my chin.

Me going to ShopRite without my list is like “Person, woman, man, camera, TV” – if I am lucky.

At ShopRite recently I checked out at the "Over 60" register. I'm pretty sure that meant age, not items. And I'm insulted that no one challenged me.

I had such a good hair day one day this week and not a single Zoom meeting to attend!

If I had a dollar for every time I touched my face, I could buy an island and quarantine myself there.

When will I feel ready to close messages with something other than “Stay Safe?”

Sometimes I feel pressure to get things done on the weekend rather than take time during the week. Then I remember that very day is the same and I can do on Monday whatever I didn’t get around to doing on Sunday. You know, in theory.

I actually shaved my legs today and I didn’t even have an EKG scheduled!

Who decided that chocolate chip mint ice cream should be called mint chocolate chip ice cream? To me, the chocolate chip part is the most important and should come first in the title. And yes, I have too much time on my hands.

I could really go for an egg cream.

It is only a matter of time before I accidentally grab the paprika instead of the cinnamon and put it into my French toast batter.

My hair stylist now refers to my once-brown hair as “salt and pepper.” I don’t think she means the condiments or the music group (Salt-N-Pepa of “Push It Real Good” fame).

Let’s hear it for “select-a-size” paper towels. Once you convert to using the smaller size, you’ll never go back.

Sometimes I worry that I use exclamation points excessively!

Why are there always a couple of shoots in my holly bushes that spring up so much higher than the rest? What are they trying to prove?

Just wondering: Who decides what channel should be on the TV in the waiting room at the doctor’s or dentist’s office? I have never liked watching NJ News12, a collection of newscasters who couldn’t make it in a better market, but recently I was stuck with the Wendy Williams Show, followed by something called “The Real” (not to be confused with “The View,” “The Talk” or “The Chew”). Since there are no longer magazines on hand for the two people allowed to wait in the waiting room, watching SOMETHING on TV passes the time. At least at the dentist they allow me to choose HGTV, but then I finish right before the renovated house is revealed, and that doesn’t work for me either.

I watch A LOT of HGTV, but even I get bored sometimes with the renovation shows. You know that the plan will have to be changed because they found asbestos or termites or plumbing from the Roaring 20s. Or they need a new roof, or there is a leak somewhere. I should just watch the beginning, when we see the house in its present state, look at the design plan and then just skip to the end to see if the outcome matches it.

I found a new Netflix series to binge: “Get Organized with The Home Edit.”  Two overly-energetic women go into the homes of celebrities (Eva Longoria, Reese Witherspoon, Neil Patrick Harris) and to the kitchens, playrooms, closets and pantries of just regular folks and edit, purge and reorganize their stuff. A few of my like-minded friends have adopted this show already, and one “rainbow-organized” her son’s toys and bookshelves, placing things by color. As someone whose closet is color-coded, I totally appreciate this approach. I was so inspired that I reorganized my medicine/linen closet and a few kitchen cabinets to better utilize the real estate. The local Habitat for Humanity RE-Store will be the beneficiary of my purging. Everything seems to be in the right place now and it fits so much better!

No perishable food item should EVER be packaged in a bag that uses blue or green designs or words. I always think the cheese is moldy!

Things are pretty slow when your big accomplishment of the day is rotating your mattress. Since I live alone, this is no easy feat. And I cannot flip it over because it has a pillow top that I don’t want on the bottom. So, lots of pushing and shoving and maneuvering later, my top of the mattress is now at the bottom of my bed. Now I need a nap!

Does this happen to you? You have a load of laundry going and suddenly the machine starts banging and moving as if it is about to take flight? I know that means the load is unbalanced, but the sound sometimes is loud enough to wake the dead!

Has anyone ever actually died of boredom (it could happen to you right now from reading this…)?

Facebook has decided to give itself a facelift, which means we all have to learn the new geography of the application. I’m old. I don’t need change, thanks.

With no fans in the stands at this year's US Open tennis tournament, crowd noise was pumped in to simulate an audience. I kept waiting for the chair umpire to turn around and say, "quiet please," or for the sound of John McEnroe shrieking, "you have got to be kidding me!" Now THAT would be realistic!

What a year: Sports suspended and finally restarted, but not all. No fans in the stands, but crowd noise. Kobe is dead, basketball is played in a bubble, football coaches are wearing masks on the sidelines (some of them) and the President is complaining about the B1G 10 not playing football. Seriously, doesn’t he have ANYTHING more important to do – aside from watching Fox News and rage tweeting? Right now, nearly 200,000 people have died from this virus and some people are still saying it is a hoax. It seems that some people have become more comfortable with the risks of COVID. But the virus can’t tell whether the people you are with are your family members or strangers, and it doesn’t discriminate. Masks on, everyone, avoid crowds, wash your hands and be safe – if not for you and yours, then for the rest of us.