The cinnamon in my spice cabinet looks so much like the paprika that it is only a matter of time before some of the former ends up on a steak.
The other day I walked by a bakery and did not go in to buy anything. Now I think I deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor. And a cookie.
I don’t care what the calendar says; to me, it’s winter. The flannel sheets are on the bed, the mattress pad is turned on, the towel warmer awaits. It is dark by 5 and there has already been snow in the forecast. I’m not ready, mind you, but I am resigned to it. But wasn’t it just yesterday I was complaining about the heat? Now I can start complaining about the cold! I turned on the heat a month ago and banned the consumption of ice cream in my house. Bring on the soup!
When did homemade soup become such a craze? At the first sign of cold weather, Facebook is flooded with pictures of steaming homemade soup. Even I make a few homemade soups, but years ago heating a can of Campbell’s Chunky was acceptable. That said, I had better pull out the Dutch oven and start making soup!
Speaking of which, recently I was confused when I bought prepared soup at ShopRite that came in a plastic container and was labeled as “homemade.” Unless Judy from Accounting made it at home, how could this be anything but store-bought?
If you have a wrinkled garment, you are supposed to hang it in the bathroom while you take a shower and the wrinkles will go away. Why doesn’t that work on my body?
I have noticed that the mailboxes in my area now have such a tiny slot for the mail that we will all be stuffing our Holiday cards in there one at a time. I assume that this shrinking of the slot is a security measure, but the line at the drive-through mailbox will be longer than the line at Dunkin Donuts for Christmas Card mailings this year.
Making new friends means I have a new audience for my old stories that the old friends are no doubt sick of hearing by now.
Why do we sneeze? And why do we sneeze in patterns (I go for two sneezes, for example). Anyone? Anyone?
I have watched enough episodes of “20/20,” 48 Hours” and “Dateline” to know that we are always being followed and tracked, from pings from our cell phones, EZ Pass tolls, cameras mounted on traffic lights, your neighbors' and stores' security cameras, timestamped receipts and more. Just assume that unless you are abducted, your every step is traceable, all your messages will exist indefinitely and there will be a record of any crime you commit.
I think I used most of the hour I saved going from Daylight Savings Time to Eastern Standard Time to change my clocks. No two clocks in this house ever seem to be at the same time.
Please don’t tell anyone, but I am using hand cream on my feet. For now. Let’s keep this information our little secret.
Does everything have to come in pumpkin flavor or scent this time of year?
Whomever the grammar powers that be are, they recently decided that hyphenating a compound adjective was no longer necessary. Does that mean it is now incorrect to continue to follow the original rules? Despite what anyone says, I will continue to hyphenate, since this old dog is not ready, willing or able to learn a new trick.
When you get to a more mature age, like me, you begin to care less about what people think of you because they really don’t spend much time thinking of you at all.
At the top of my email this morning was an ad for Bail Bonds and how I could find my local bondsman. Maybe someone thought my birthday was way more raucous than it actually was. One of my friends said she would bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it. Yes, I have talented – and sketchy – friends.
The good news: When I recently ran out of strawberry jam, I remembered that I had an unopened jar of it in my pantry. Bad news: The unopened jar expired 6 months ago. And no, Jo, I am not eating it!
In all of the decades that I have watched baseball – and we are going back to 1959 here – I have never understood the reason for all that spitting. Who has that much saliva? How does it accumulate? Or is it sunflower seeds? All I know is that whenever I played a sport, I was always dry and couldn’t summon spit even if I wanted to – and I don’t.
Damn you, Hallmark! Not EVERYONE wants to start watching your endless Christmas movies in October. In my case, never! And Christmas music is already playing on multiple radio stations. I miss my Golden Girls.
I don’t think I have ever used any brand of Ketchup but Heinz. And my mayonnaise must be Hellman’s. And my tuna? It’s Bumble Bee or nothing for me (with NO mayonnaise!). You have to admire my brand loyalty (or stubborn streak).
When you have been friends with someone for 50+ years, your conversations not only include family and friends, but may drift over into such mundane topics as what you use to clean your toilet. So, I’ll share that I tried using a pumice stone to eliminate the ring around the bowl and had a successful outcome.
Why do I get creeped out by a shopping list found in the bottom of the cart? I’ll always try to get a different cart to avoid that situation, because I don’t want to touch the list to remove it.
For my AADC Book Club this month, we are reading “Educated” (seems appropriate for a college alumnae association). I read this book months ago, and now I am frantically re-reading it so I can recall the details and participate in the discussion. I may have to pull an all-nighter to get this done before tomorrow’s meeting! PS – It is a great book and worth reading, though I'm not sure it is worth reading twice!
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