Spring Awakenings

Phew!  I ALMOST walked out of Kohl’s with nothing purchased and Kohl’s Cash burning a hole in my pocket.  That would be like getting voted off Survivor while holding an Immunity Idol in my hand.  Close call.

Just curious:  Am I the only person who uses a tweezer to remove the residual lint from the screen in the back of the hair dryer?

One of the more annoying things I do to myself is to accidentally leave a tissue in the pocket of a sweatshirt, so when I do the laundry, the whole load is covered with little fragments of lint.  If only I had checked…

It would be so much more convenient if society used one standard of temperature.  Why do we need Fahrenheit and Celsius?  I’m confused enough about time zones!

Why are rest rooms called rest rooms?  Who would want to take a rest in a noisy, smelly, unsanitary place where the hand dryers sound like jet engines?  Maybe this practice goes back to when women were considered fragile and needed to rest, but today’s public ladies rooms are hardly conducive to resting.  I think they need a new name.  If you want to class them up, call them the “Ladies Lavatory” or the ladies room.  Trust me, we will know what that is for.

I have a new obsession: I am recording and watching episodes of “Hill Street Blues” and “NYPD Blues,” both Steven Bochco police dramas that aired nearly 20 years ago.  Two episodes each of these shows are broadcast on the “Heroes and Icons” network every day, and I faithfully watch them, often in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep anyway.  Hill and Renko, Sipowicz and Simone, Furillo and Davenport, and who can forget Mick Belker?  It is like having old friends come to visit.  So if my movie list looks a little sparse these days, consider how many more I could watch if I were not dedicating hours to these old classics.  Hey, let’s be careful out there!

Amazon’s Alexa has a new skill to help you remember things.  I would use it if I could remember how to access it.

I’m glad we are finally moving out of the cold weather season and into warmth again, which means sandals season is upon us.  But I confess that while sandals themselves are fine, I detest that “clacking” sound you hear as the bottom of the shoe hits my heel.  That is the price of warm weather, I guess.

If not for nail and hair salons and doctors’ offices, would there even be a magazine industry.  I see magazines sitting there as my nails dry at the salon, but I don’t dare open one or turn a page for fear of ruining my manicure!

I take my car to two different car washes.  One is strictly exterior and done with hoses in a parking lot.  The other one offers not only exterior/interior cleaning and sprucing up the tires (and vacuuming), but also some of the nicest greeting cards around.  Recently, I spent $34 getting my car washed and buying things.  I really can find ways to spend my money!

Don’t you think your car runs better when it has been washed?  I know mine does.  I guess it is like taking a shower.  You feel so good and refreshed afterwards.  The car must feel that way, too.

Why are we always surprised when the weather gets warm?  Sure, the timing may vary from year to year, but we all act like the change of seasons has never happened before.  I will agree that is strange to wear a winter coat on a Sunday and wear shorts four days later!

Here is a pet peeve:  All products which contain expiration dates should be clearly marked.  The dates are sometimes impossible to find or you need a translator to decipher the code!

Here’s another pet peeve:  All houses should be marked by easily readable numbers.  My house not only has a number right next to the garage, but there is also a reflective number on the mailbox at the end of the driveway, so you can identify my house in the dark.  This is so important in case of emergencies – or guests!

Thank God that no one can look at the little cloud above my head that is full of snarky comments, which happens when I am at an event and the speaker drones on FOREVA or during conversations I wish I wasn’t having with people I don’t want to talk to.  I only hope other people don’t have those same snarky thoughts about me!  (They don’t, do they?)

Do you ever have to buy paperclips?  I think I have been recycling the same paperclips for at least 20 years now.  I save the ones from documents I no longer need and reuse them.  So far, I have yet to run out of my stash.

Here is a job I wouldn’t want to have (any job, really…):  I would not want to be the poor soul who is stuck listening to those calls they tell you MAY be monitored.  You know, when you call the bank or Comcast or whomever for customer service.  Who would want to listed to those calls and grade the performance of the rep?  Or is the whole thing a ruse to make you think someone is paying attention?

Speaking of calls, those robocalls remain annoyingly confounding.  The number emulates a local number so you pick up, just in case it actually is someone you know whose number you don’t recognize, and you find it is someone trying to sell you a security system or give you a “free” vacation.  The caller sounds so friendly that you might not initially realize it is a recording.  The last one I got told me that time was running out on this particular offer, so I better hurry up and buy, subscribe or take some action.  OK, let the time run out so you WON’T call me again!  A live person called me recently about solar panels.  I told him to do himself a favor and take me off his list because I wasn’t buying solar panels for my new house.  His retort was, “Oh, so you don’t want to save money?”  The next time he calls, I am going to tell him that I am buying solar panels, but not from his company because I don’t like his approach to sales.  Or, that I just declared bankruptcy. 

Maybe the cultural phenomenon of book clubs is a direct effect of the cultural phenomenon that is Oprah Winfrey, who may have started the trend on her former TV show when she established “Oprah’s Book Club.”  Millions of people started reading again and gathering to discuss books.  Or not discussing the books, which also happens in book clubs – especially those where wine is involved.  I know of book clubs that are difficult to get in – you have to be invited – where the women don’t even attempt to discuss the book, which, to me, defeats the whole purpose of a book club.  Most of my friends enjoy reading books or listening to the audio version as they commute via bus or train or drive.  The public library has a whole collection of books specifically designated for book clubs and allows members to borrow 10 copies at a time for members to read and discuss.  There is even an official bag to transport them, and they come with questions to get the conversation going.  Some of us download books on our Kindles or via the library’s “cloud” application) for convenient and portable reading.  Many people I know enjoy recommending books for me to read so we can discuss them later.  My neighbors formed a book club last year, and we have met monthly ever since, with a break in December for the busy holiday season.  I find that most members read the books, but some – if they don’t like the choice – will stop reading and go to Book Club anyway.  Some members are really there to discuss the book, while others show up just to talk, to catch up with each other or to enjoy the snacks that are served.  Some people are in several book clubs, just for the joy or reading and having someone with whom they can talk about the book.  Some of us have trouble remembering which books we have read, so I’m now inserting the name of the book on my calendar when I mark the date for our gatherings.  It doesn’t matter, really.  One of my favorite things to do as a child was to go to the library with my mother.  She was a voracious reader (side note: The word “voracious” seems to always accompany the word “reader”) who knew all of the librarians at the Somerville Free Public Library.  She would recommend books for them to read, and somehow, she managed to read several books at the same time.  When I picture her bedroom, I see a stack of books on the nightstand that she was working her way through.  She was at the library so often that she gave gifts to the librarians each year at the holidays, and I think they would put aside books she wanted.  She would take me in the family car after dinner, when my father was home from work, and the librarians would let me into the children’s library downstairs even though it was closed in the evenings (just one of the benefits of being the daughter of the late, great Sylvia Gordon).  My quest to watch as many movies as I can during the year had diminished my interest in reading for a while, but by dropping magazine subscriptions and relying on Book Club or recommendations, I’m back in the game again.  Just don’t ask me the names of the books I have read.  Between lists of books and movies, it is hard to keep it all straight!  Happy reading, everyone.