Because I am a dedicated movie buff, the Oscar telecast is must-see TV in my house. As I watched last night, I kept a running compendium of comments. Here are my observations:
It is the biggest night of the year here at the Gordon household as well as in Hollywood - it is time for the Oscars. I finished eating, put on my comfy clothes and am starting with the pre-game. Robin Roberts is hosting the Red Carpet on ABC and she looks stunning. All those actresses in their pale gowns will pale in comparison to the majestic, burgundy, sparkly Robin tonight.
I just saw Julianne Moore and my first thought was: "That's the dress she decided to wear to win the Oscar?" She's the closest thing to a shoe-in tonight, and I personally think she could have made a better choice.
Dakota Johnson is in scarlet (fittingly) and being interviewed with her mother, Melanie Griffith. I haven't seen "50 Shades of Grey" -- except when I look at my hair in the mirror -- but I hope her mother hasn't seen it either. I'd die before I'd let my mother get a glimpse of me in soft porn. She'd have a better chance of seeing me with soft-serve ice cream.
Benedict Cumberbatch has a distinctly un-Hollywood name.
Lupida Nyong'O could wear a volleyball net and look good. Oh, wait, that IS what she's wearing. But hers is made of pearls.
Michael Strahan is officially no longer a former football player. Any NFL guy who goes on the Red Carpet, even as a reporter, must be drummed out of the league.
I wonder if Neil Patrick Harris will order Chinese food or sushi for everyone to try to top Ellen's pizza order from last year. How come she's just Ellen but we have to use all three names for Neil Patrick Harris?
It's easy for men. Just put on a tux and show up and you will look good. Women have it so much worse.
I just caught a glimpse of Miles Teller from "Whiplash." I doubt anyone else would have identified him in the crowd. Such an intense movie, and his co-star, JKSimmons, better win. His performance was stunning. And if he wins, maybe he can stop doing those Farmers Insurance commercials.
Jennifer Lopez is wearing a flesh-colored dress with the usual plunging neckline. She should have worn that one to the Golden Globes.
It is 8 PM and I'm going on record to say I think “Boyhood” will win the Oscar. Personally, I thought it was as exciting as watching paint dry, but there were enthusiastic reviews (not mine) and it looks like either “Boyhood” or “Birdman” might take the little golden guy home. I'm picking “Boyhood.”
I just saw the commercial for “The Second Best Most Exotic Marigold Hotel.” Sign me up for that one. It will play at the old folks' theater in Montgomery, and I'll be there for sure. This version has Richard Gere, in case I needed any more enticement.
Emma Stone has a surprisingly deep voice, and she's on the Red Carpet with her mom, which is a nice touch.
Ethan Hawke is finally growing up and looking not exactly old, but no longer Boyhoodish. He's also speaking haltingly, making me wonder if he has already imbibed or is just better scripted.
The Red Carpet lighting is really harsh. Lots of the stars look like they have lines in their faces or just bad skin.
Too bad about the rain in Hollywood tonight. Don't let it rain on your parade, Oscar!
Let's hope John Travolta is introducing someone with a difficult name again this year. Adele Daseem, anyone?
Tim McGraw looks so small. Must be the lack of the cowboy hat.
What are those huge red gloves on Lady Gaga? Is she here to clean the oven?
Patricia Arquette might have tried to do something with her hair besides pull it back in a ponytail that doesn't look all that neat.
OK, folks, let's start the show!
Neil Patrick Harris rises from below the stage (at least he isn't doing the hopping that Hugh Jackman did on the Tony's). The stage is very glittery. Ah, a song. Something Ellen couldn't do...
Really cool images in the opening number. Not Billy Crystal, but well done with Jack Black and Anna Kendrick helping NPH. Borderline too long, however, which is probably a harbinger of things to come.
It's hard to believe that Clint Eastwood directed “American Sniper” this year and “Jersey Boys” last year. Aside from the fact that they are both movies, they have nothing in common.
Lupita is rocking that Oscar envelope like an accessory. And she can do it.
Best Supporting Actor -- Has to be JK Simmonds, please. Not Robert Duval or Ethan Hawke. Yes! I'm one for one. Simmonds is lucky he's the first winner. He won't make the show drag on past its stop time. He thanks the wife and kids effusively. Tells the kids to call their parents. Good idea. Are you watching, Brandon Tillman (no way he’s watching)?
NPH does a little song with the Farmer's Insurance jingle. Clever.
The bit on Neil's Oscar picks locked up in a box is going too long. I love Octavia Spenser, however.
First Best Picture nominee is “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” a movie I watched for 20 minutes for free on HBO and then bailed. And “American Sniper,” which I thought would be best seen in a theater. I was right about that.
First song is from “Begin Again,” a movie I watched on a bus. I wouldn't even remember this song was in this movie. I may need to watch it again.
It is great watching the award shows on the DVR. If you miss anything or want to see it again, you just hit the instant replay button.
Jenny from the Block and Chris Pine. Two very good-looking people presenting the award for costume design. JLo knows a lot about this topic. Someone please tell the winner to get up from her seat and head toward the stage. We don't have all night. Or do we? And what is that outfit she is wearing? A trench coat and sparkly pants? She's a costume designer, so she should have come up with something better than that!
A groaner of an introduction for Reese Witherspoon, who looks magnificently simple. Classy broad, and better than she looked hiking through the mountains in “Wild.” They gave her a minor category with make-up. That’s Oscar disrespect.
Lady Rose shows off her new hat. Oops, I switched to “Downton Abbey” during a commercial. Back to the show...
Nicole Kidman always looks peaked to me, and then she wears non-color dresses which only accentuate her lack of color.
Tell the best foreign picture guy that his speech is longer than his movie. He's had play off music twice now.
Shirley Maclaine comes out to the music from “Terms of Endearment,” one of my top 5-10 movies. I wonder if anyone else notices that. She's introducing three of the Best Picture nominees and wearing a choker that I am afraid will do just that.
“Birdman” was one of the few movies I didn't see this year. I might rethink that choice. But only if Michael Keaton stops chewing gum.
Marian Cotillard seems to be wearing a dress from the 60s and she's introducing a song nominee from the “Lego” movie, another one I somehow missed. Everything is Awesome, according to the song.
I wonder how long the short subject documentaries are. And I wonder why the presenters always sound so pleased when they announce the winner of this kind of category when there is probably no way they actually saw or even heard of the movie that won.
The walk-off music is being disregarded by these minor winners. Somebody missed the briefing...
What is that hideous outfit with the giant fur balls that the winner of documentary short subject is wearing? The movie is no doubt better than the fur balls. NPH comments on it too, with a certain degree of snarkiness.
It is disappointing to get so dressed up and be on stage for such a short time, Viola Davis said under her breath.
I used to like the fawning over the Jean Hershhold Humanitarian Award, which is now done in a film clip from months ago.
David Oyelelo either has a vest on or he's wearing Pee Wee Herman's high pants.
Someone in the back but visible over NPH's shoulder is wearing a baseball cap. I hope there is a medical note for that fashion don't.
Gwyneth Paltrow has the boniest shoulders I have ever seen. And that dress is a leftover from another time, I think.
Thank God Tim McGraw is wearing a cowboy hat. He was unrecognizable on the Red Carpet without it, even with wife Faith Hill at his side. He's singing a song from the documentary about Glen Campbell, who is in the last stages of Alzheimer's. This is a real pick-me-up moment.
NPH, who are you wearing? Hanes? This is the Oscars, put on some clothes. I know this is a salute of sorts to “Birdman,” where Michael Keaton runs around the street of New York in his tidy-whities, but this is the Oscars, man. Show some respect. Highly inappropriate!
I’m pretty sure I have never seen a movie with Chris Evans. He's not Chris Pine, I'm sure, because I saw that movie about the train with Denzel Washington and he was in that. This guy is in one of those superhero films that I'll never see.
“Whiplash” just won an Oscar for sound editing, and I know from seeing it that it was well-deserved. Not that I know anything about sound editing, of course. These technical people need to get off the damn stage BEFORE the music starts.
Why is Bradley Cooper at the Oscars with his mother yet again? Can't get a date? Or is his mother so tough to deal with that she insists on going with him? Here’s my number, call me maybe, Bradley.
Jared Leto, in a light blue tux and white shoes -- say what you want, he is his own man. He says that there is a state law that Meryl has to be nominated, which may well be accurate. But I think Patricia Arquette is our winner for Best Supporting Actress. Let's see if I called this one right. Yup. Two for two tonight. On a roll. She is reading her speech. An actress who doesn't know her lines. Not uncommon in Hollywood. She's pushing equal rights and wage equality for women and still finished before those tech and doc guys. You go, girl. Maybe they didn't pay her enough for 12 years of filming “Boyhood.” Or was it 12 Years with Slave Wages?
Meryl and BFF JLo jump up in approval for Norma Rae’s moment. Well, at least Meryl jumped up and JLo, sitting next to her in what should have been MY seat, figured she better get up too, because you don’t want to look bad when you’re with Meryl Streep
I must confess I have never heard of any of the nominated songs, even though I saw at least one of the movies (“Begin Again”) they were in.
Rita Ora would look better if they stopped the laser lights projected all around her. My vertigo challenged sister must be going blind during her Best Song performance.
I am getting old. I don't know who some of the presenters are (Chloe Grace Somebody, who has her hands in her pockets).
We are still making “Planet of the Apes” movies? The next one I see will be the first one I see.
They had to put Kevin Hart with Anna Kendrick, someone who is his size, to give out the animated short Oscar. Again, nothing here I've seen.
So many categories. So much time. Get to the good stuff while it is still Sunday.
So the Academy President is an African-American woman. She must be THRILLED that no black people were nominated, and I doubt Kevin Hart's going to break the color line in 2016.
Wait, there's Chris Pratt, Chris Evans and Chris Pine? I'm gonna need a program with pictures to tell them apart.
Oh, boy, production design category. At least we're talking about major movies again.
Oh, goodie, it's time for Meryl. But they gave her the Dead People's Scroll? Is this list worthy of the Great Meryl? I know she could read the phone book and get an Oscar nomination, but she isn't reading out loud. We are reading to ourselves. Lots of big names on this list. Robin Williams, Mike Nichols, Lauren Bacall, Ruby Dee, Mickey Rooney, James Garner, and people I didn't know had died or didn't know were still alive. But where is Joan Rivers? I’m pretty sure I saw “Rabbit Test,” and, besides, she was as much as part of Hollywood fashion as the costume designers. Shameful omission, Academy.
Jennifer Hudson sings for the dead people. What a voice! But could they have saved some time and had her sing during the Dead People Scroll?
Film editing is up next, and I'm guessing 12 years of editing “Boyhood” should win it. Wrong –“Whiplash” wins, and I’m OK with that. Those drumming scenes needed plenty of editing. But so does this Oscar telecast -- and it's live!
Guessing that the teleprompter failed as Terrance Howard was trying to remember the names of the Best Film nominees. He couldn’t have been that moved by just the first one he named.
The director of “Selma” is probably still wondering why she wasn't nominated. And the Big O is probably pretty pissed off about that.
David Oyelowo's suit is really ugly.
Documentary category. Here I actually saw one. But not the winner.
The Dowager Countess is entertaining that Russian Prince again, and it looks like she's about to get a proposal. Go, Granny (long commercial break). Back to the Oscars. I love John Legend, and there is nothing common about Common. Cameras desperate to show show biz folks crying after the “Glory” song from “Selma.”
NPH is in his third suit of the night, not counting his birthday suit.
Good joke about John Travolta -- if he had to introduce Ben Affleck it would come out as Benedict Cumberbatch. Now Travolta is on stage with Idina Menzel, pandering to her about last year’s puzzling Adele Dazeem slip-up and touching her face like a Jewish mother. She can’t be happy or comfortable about that. They are announcing best song, which has to be “Glory.” And it is. And Hollywood goes all righteous. And John Legend becomes one, just like that. Good job.
ScarJo looks ravishing in a green dress and killer necklace.
Why are we doing a salute to “The Sound of Music” but not including Julie Andrews? Lady Gaga ditched the oven cleaning mitts and sounds magnificent. She really can play it straight when she wants to. I honestly didn't know her voice was so good, but it makes me sad for Julie Andrews, who can't sing anymore. But now I’m wondering if Gaga is going to sing the entire SOM score? It's getting pretty late here and I still have to finish Downton. Fantastic performance by Lady Gaga. Oh, there she is! Welcome, Julie Andrews. We know she can't sing anymore, but just hearing her talk is a pleasure. Classy move, Academy.
Adrien Brody has a huge nose! Don't let them shoot you from the side, Barbra - I mean Adrien.
I wonder if Eddie Murphy will be on stage here longer than he was in the SNL Reunion (70 seconds, I think I read). He may not exceed that here. Best original screenplay is up. “Birdman” wins, which is an indicator of Best Picture. I thought it would be “Boyhood,” just because it was 12 years in the making.
One of the “Birdman” guys has a red stripe on the back of his shoes.
Oprah's up. She looks important. And her booty should have its own area code. Best adapted screenplay, you know, the category where somebody takes somebody else's hard work and makes it into a movie. “The Imitation Game” wins. Seems logical, since they took the story ... you get it, right? The winner says he tried to kill himself because he was different. You've come a long way, baby, and you have a powerful message.
This telecast is interminable. Open that box, Neil. Something good must come out of it.
Ben Affleck always looks so smug to me. But I did like “Gone Girl”. His job tonight is to present Best Director, and he's got one of those. So the Oscar goes to “Birdman,” which I didn't see. I guess I have no choice now.
Nupita's brother is her date again this year. I wonder if he brought a selfie stick...
About now, Michael Keaton is thinking, hey, I've got a real chance here. I sure don’t want to be the star who's left out of the winner's circle after my movie wins lots of Oscars.
Cate Blanchette is presenting the Oscar to the Best Actor and has strange threads all around the armpits and shoulders of her black and beautiful dress. What's up with that?
Michael Keaton swallowed his gum (I bet) when Cate read Eddie Redmayne's name for Best Actor. He was my choice until I started leaning toward Keaton from the way the Oscars were going. He's making a case for ALS victims and the Hawking family. Well done.
At least the losers get a great swag bag that's worth more than $125K (saw that on CBS Sunday Morning).
Matthew McConaughey is up to present Best Actress. He looks dirty and unkempt, with long hair. He is not driving a Lincoln. Major upset if the winner isn't Julianne Moore, who was fantastic in “Still Alice” and is long overdue for Oscar. Right again. So we have a win for ALS and for Alzheimer's. Interesting.
OMG, NPH is still talking about his stupid Oscar predictions and keeping them secure. Not funny and too long.
Four, count em, four outfits for Neil.
Best Picture goes to: “Birdman.” I didn't like “Boyhood” that much anyway.
Big night here and in Hollywood. Let's do this again next year.
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