Things I Learned in 2013 (and Hope to Remember in 2014)

With all of two weeks' context from which to look back on 2013, I have decided the lessons of the year merit an airing here.

1.  Cancer sucks – Too many people I know have it, had it, are recovering from it – or worse.  This news is always devastating and life-changing.  And while I know people do survive it – I am one, having survived colon cancer back in 2000 – I am angry that cancer interrupts their lives and crushes their hopes.  I know we are mere mortals, but this diagnosis is a slap upside the head for those who receive it themselves, their families and their friends.  Let’s give our support to these individuals, donate to the cause and pray that science can gain the upper hand so we can eradicate this dreaded illness.  Signs of optimism abound.

2.  Losing weight is better than gaining weight – I had a year of no net weight loss, despite going to Weight Watchers faithfully.  Apparently just showing up isn’t enough.  I feel and look better when I am losing, so I am determined to get back on the wagon and head down that path again after a minor interruption.  Your health is everything, and losing weight for me is the key.

3.  Along the same lines, work out! – I went through a tough year with my knee in 2013, seeing two different orthopedic docs and going through months of physical therapy.  Now I know I can push – but not too much. It is so important to be active, although I now understand that I can’t walk 3 miles every day.  But I can do better and be aware of what my body tells me.

4.  Wisdom & Self-control – This was the motto when I went to Douglass College (unlike the fictional Faber College from “Animal House,” where the motto was “Knowledge is good”), and I had to call on it more than ever in 2013, as I had to deal with a number of tough issues as president of the Associate Alumnae of Douglass College.  My term is over at the end of June, and it has been as rewarding as it has been challenging.  I never realized how much “wisdom and self-control” I would need, and how much I could muster.

5.  Sometimes your team loses – I am a passionate fan of many teams, but the Yankees, Giants and Rutgers Football had off-years in 2013, and my beloved Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team did not get into the NCAA tournament for the first time in many years.  Surprisingly, I survived, as did they all, and we live to fight – and cheer – another day.  It’s only a game, right?

6.  What you say or do can have a profound effect on people – I had many instances where people cited things I said or did that meant something to them during the past year.  Some people told me they decide which movies to see based on my reviews.  I have had people quote me to my face from an essay that moved them in some way.  Sometimes it was just to provide a laugh, but other times it was more meaningful. It made me think about what I say and do and that I should take it all a little more to heart.  People who listen to what I say expect it to make sense, I suppose.  But I will always try to leave them laughing, which is sometimes just what they need.

7.  It’s OK to spend money – I know this because my financial advisor assured me it was true.  So when I bought another camera that I didn’t need (but love) and a new car to replace my 16-year old Mercedes, Gracie (I welcomed a 2014 Mercedes, Emma Rose, in September), I didn’t have to justify it to anyone, including myself.  As long as I also support causes that are meaningful to me, I can justify my self-indulgent spending.  After all, I am contributing to the economy, right?  Think of it as the Tina Gordon Stimulus Package.  And that 30% off at Kohl’s must be a win-win.

8.  Time is of the essence – I wish I could spend more of it with friends, but sometimes our mutual obligations and busy schedules get in the way.  I don’t want to regret anything, and time is a precious commodity.  I lost some people who were important to me in 2013, and I saw friends lose people who were important to them, too.  We don’t get them – or the time we missed – back.  In 2014, I vow to spend more of it with the people who mean the most to me – whether they like it or not!

9.  Social networking is the new water cooler – I spent a lot of time on Facebook in 2013, but I think of it this way: I live alone, and all these clever thoughts I used to share with my co-workers would just go to waste if I didn’t have an audience.  So my Facebook timeline is loaded with bon mots – or what I think of as witticisms – that just lie out there until someone reacts.  It’s fun and much easier than doing a stand-up routine.  After all, I can sit down while I type, you know?

10.  Peace and joy – I spend a lot of time thinking about this subject, and how, sometimes, it takes so little to make me happy.  Watching a good movie and sharing it via my reviews, talking on the phone to a dear friend, cleaning out the pantry, knowing that the garbage service will whisk away the expired food – any and all of those things can make my day.  I love coming home to a clean house and clean sheets, courtesy of the cleaning lady.  Most of the time, I AM the cleaning lady, but twice a month I pay someone to do the heavy lifting.  That makes me keep the house neater and tidier, and that gives me peace.  As I get older, my highs aren’t all that high and my lows aren’t all that low, but peace and joy, friends and loved ones, help me to experience contentment.  I appreciate every day and am grateful to live this life.  Peace and joy to all.