75. Chaplin* (1992) – Robert Downey Jr. gives his signature performance in this biopic about the legendary movie icon, Charles Chaplin. The British comedian went from the vaudeville stage to the big screen in the early part of the 20th century then came to America and took Hollywood by storm. Chaplin made movies for more than 50 years, and the majority were made by the time he turned 30. He was a creative force, eschewing talkies in favor of silent films, and he was most famous for his Little Tramp character. He also had a predilection for young women, marrying them young and having droves of children. This movie pays homage to his career and old Hollywood while showing his increasing embracing of socialism that eventually led to his expulsion from the US. With hats off to the make-up and wig folks, Downey turns in an Oscar-nominated performance. It’s hard to remain silent about Chaplin. 3½ cans.
76. The Whole Nine Yards* (2000) – This movie is 10 pounds of crap in a five-pound, porous sack. Matthew Perry, as an exasperated and exasperating dentist, mugs his way through an insipid plot, generally sporting an expression that looked like he was thinking, “What has my agent gotten me into?” Based on his sitcom work on “Friends,” Perry has comedic chops, but this mess of a movie does nothing to showcase his abilities. (Jason Bateman would get this role if the movie were made today, and he’d be less smug and frenetic in the part.) Perry is Oz, whose new next door neighbor just happens to be Jimmy (Bruce Willis), a hit man on the lam from the bad guys in Chicago. Oz’s bitch of a wife tells him to rat out Jimmy to the mob in Chicago to get a big payday, and he obligingly goes along with the scheme. Willis is cool, as only Willis can be, in his role. Once I started watching, I stayed with it just to see if the movie would get better, but it only got worse. The women in the movie might as well be cartoon characters, and shame on Amanda Peet for allowing herself to be in a totally gratuitous nude scene. The most shocking thing about this movie is that it actually spawned a sequel – “The Whole Ten Yards” – which I wouldn’t watch if I were stuck on a desert island with no other form of entertainment. I’d sing myself to sleep first. Buy your own tuna, since this gets no cans from me..
77. Believe In Me* (2006) – I think we have established that I am a sucker for sports movies – especially ones about an underdog team led to victory against all odds by a dedicated coach. OK, this one isn’t exactly “Hoosiers” – the prototype classic of the genre – but it is a feel-good movie nonetheless. Clay Driscoll (Jeffrey Donovan in an understated performance) arrives in a small Oklahoma town thinking he has been hired to be the boys high school basketball coach when he finds out that he’s been given the girls team instead. Naturally, no one can dribble or shoot, the town has little interest in the team, the Board of Ed president resents him and does everything he can to undermine the team, and the whole endeavor appears to be a lost cause. But Driscoll slowly but surely instills actual basketball knowledge in this rag-tag bunch, and they will do anything to make him proud. After a six-win season, the team turns things around the next year and marches off to contend for the state championship. If I didn’t know that this movie is based on the real-life coach Jim Keith, who coached girls’ teams for 35 years, I would have thought it was too corny to believe. My only real criticism is that women in the 1960s (the movie takes place in 1964-65) played three-on-three basketball, not today’s five-on-five, free reigning, up-tempo game, so the credibility of the movie is somewhat altered by this anachronism. However, this kind of sports movie, albeit corny, is something in which I want to believe. 3 cans.
78. Night Shift (1992) –Henry Winkler is Chuck, a schnook stuck working the night shift at the morgue. He gets the bodies, does the paperwork and likes the quiet. Then Michael Keaton arrives as his new partner, a manic, scheming guy whose million dollar ideas are virtually all busts. When Chuck’s neighbor, a hooker played by Shelly Long, needs help – and a pimp – Keaton sees the possibilities. Quiet place, free at night, and money just rolling in. Who’s gonna look for hookers amid all those stiffs? This is an early Ron Howard movie and has its comedic genius moments, mostly by Keaton, while Winkler plays it straight. And Long, who at this point was pretty hot in her career, contributes as – what else? – a hooker with a heart of gold. Cute, if not memorable. 3 cans.
79. The Heat* (2013) – My friends and I wisely picked the hottest day of the summer so far to go into a nice cool movie theater and, ironically, see a movie called “The Heat.” Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy play two mismatched law enforcement officers, Bullock a straight-laced federal agent on a drug case, and McCarthy a rough and tumble Boston cop, who knows the mean streets and uses her street smarts to catch and threaten the perps. You'd have to suspend your sense of reality to believe Bullock was an unpopular student in high school, but the chemistry between the two opposite characters boils over. Bullock is strictly by the book, while McCarthy is strictly seat of the pants. McCarthy has built her specialty playing tough minded, profane and wildly funny characters. Bullock is her usual self-deprecating character, but under McCarthy's tutelage, she gets real. This is a funny and wild ride with two over the top characters. It was a great way to beat the heat. 3½ cans.
80. Murphy’s Romance (1985) – It's not often you see a love story where the principals exchange no more than a single hug. From the time spunky divorcee Emma arrives at her new beat-up horse ranch in Arizona and meets Murphy, the local pharmacist and town guru, you know that these two people are destined to be together. Emma is played by sassy Sally Field, while her potential new beau Murphy is played by the completely charming and disarming James Garner. This couple is just getting to know each other as friends when Emma's irresponsible ex-husband (played by Brian Kerwin) shows up on her doorstep, broke and with the excuse that he wants to see their son. He suspects that Murphy and Emma are an item, but in fact, the courtship has only just begun. Even if you didn't fall in love with the movie, you'd have to admit the last scene is wonderful. How do you like your eggs? A fine romance, my dear, this is. 4 cans.
81. Get Shorty (1995) – Loan shark or movie producer? Is there really much of a difference? In this entertaining film, based on the book by Elmore Leonard, John Travolta brings style and sizzle to his role as Chili Palmer, loan shark by day and would be Hollywood producer at night. A movie buff, Chili ends up in LA to collect on a loan from a producer of schlock movies (Gene Hackman). Before you know it, Chili is “taking meetings” with big star Martin Weir, played by diminutive Danny DeVito. This movie manages to skewer both showbiz and Goodfellas. The late James Gandolfini has a small part as a lovable lug named Bear, the first role I can remember seeing him play. Everyone in this movie wants to be a producer, and there's no business like show business. Travolta is so cool that when Chili commands, "Look at me," you can't take your eyes off of him. 4 cans.
82. Dirty Dancing (1987) – Is there a woman alive who doesn’t love this movie? Set in the Catskills in the age of at least a bit more innocence, “Baby” Housman (Jennifer Grey) is enduring a summer vacation with her parents and sister at Kellerman’s Lodge, a resort where she encounters dancing instructor Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) and ends up learning more than a few moves from the slick and shirtless stud. But beyond the superficial, the movie tries to impart a sense of fairness and equality, of acceptance, and of the love of dance. Why Jennifer Grey was allowed to compete in “Dancing With the Stars” after all of the dancing she was trained to do in this movie still puzzles me, but she progresses from neophyte to performer while winning Johnny’s heart. Hey, nobody puts Baby in the corner! 4 cans.
83. Unfinished Song* (2013) – This lovely drama is about Marian and Arthur (Vanessa Redgrave and Terence Stamp), an elderly British couple who have been married for years. They dote on each other, though they are polar opposites. She is full of joy, while he is morose, quiet and unable to connect with their grown son. Some of the happiness she enjoys comes from taking part in a local choir, filled with other old folks and led by a young woman who teaches them contemporary songs like “Love Shack” and “I’m Talking About Sex.” (Incidentally, when we see old people singing in a choir, they always seem to be rockin’ that boat.) When Marian has a recurrence of cancer, the drama amps up: Will she be able to sing at the upcoming competition? How will he handle the situation? Without giving away the poignant – if predictable – plot, it’s safe to say that music soothes the savage beast. This is a short movie, but one worth seeing and pondering. For something similar on the documentary side, check out “Young at Heart.” 3½ cans.
84. Irreconcilable Differences (1984) – Shelley Long was “hot as a pistol and free as a bird” in the 1980s. Here she is matched up with Ryan O’Neal as the neglectful, self-indulgent parents of a very young Drew Barrymore, who hauls them off to court to “divorce” them so she can go live with the maid, who treats her better than her bickering parents. O’Neal, a former film professor, makes a hit movie with Long as his co-writer and begins to think he’s Orson Welles. His second effort, a musical follow-up to “Gone With the Wind,” stars Blake Chandler (played by Sharon Stone in a part she never mentions in her bio) and is a debacle. When O’Neal and Stone become an item, Long is left out. She has no money, gains weight and fights over Barrymore with the noveau rich O’Neal until his career crashes and he is in the same sinking boat. By then, Long has written a scathing novel and is wealthy and living in her former spouse’s former mansion. Both parents overlook the child or use her as a pawn. I’m not doing justice to this comedy, because the crisp writing and snarky delivery by Long energize this film, which never fails to amuse. 3½ cans.
85. 20 Feet From Stardom* (2013) – This documentary casts the spotlight on the largely unknown performers who sing background vocals for major rock stars. You may not know their names, but their wondrous voices have enhanced the sound on records made by artists from Ray Charles and Ike Turner to today, with many of them – mostly women and mostly Black – still touring or recording. These talented women don’t just do-wop behind the top-billed artist. They ARE artists, delivering powerful solos that sometimes make the “stars” pale by comparison. The best known singer, Darlene Love, who, as a member of the Blossoms, fronted the Crystals and Bob E. Soxx and the Blue Jeans, worked for legendary producer and creator of the “Wall of Sound” Phil Spector. Yet the vagaries of the music business forced Love to clean houses to make ends meet even after her initial success. She, Merry Clayton, Lisa Fischer and newcomer Judith Hill are called on – sometimes for a middle of the night recording session – by such stars as Bruce Springsteen, Elton John, Sting and the Rolling Stones (most of whom are interviewed for the film and speak of these singers with great respect). That soaring voice you hear on “Gimme Shelter” is not Mick Jagger’s, it is Merry Clayton’s. Some of these women sought stardom of their own, recording albums under their own names, but, as Patty Austin notes in one of many arresting interviews, you have to really want success and sacrifice a lot to achieve it. Some people would rather stay in the background. But their voices are in the forefront of music as their musical gifts (as they refer to them) allow them to harmonize and find that sweet spot that makes the songs we love so memorable. This films provides an fascinating look at the performers, the songs and the music industry. 4 cans.
86. The In-laws (1979) – If you want to see a movie about an exasperated dentist (see #76 above), skip “The Whole Nine Yards” and rent, borrow, stream or steal this lunatic romp starring Alan Arkin as the dentist and Peter Falk as his daughter’s prospective father-in-law. Falk – and I can’t think of anyone else who could have played this part – is a CIA operative with a case so convoluted that I won’t even try to unravel it. Suffice to say he drafts the reluctant dentist and proceeds to put him in danger in New York and abroad. Hilarious, even after all this time. Many shades of Columbo in Falk’s character, and he certainly IS a character. 4 cans.
87. In Vogue – The Editors Eye* (2012) – Although I know next to nothing about fashion, I enjoyed this documentary about the 120 years of Vogue magazine and its editors. Each editor brought a distinct point of view and new flair to the job, injecting their own sense of style and story, making selections and planning the look of the magazine. Iconic and feared editor on Anna Wintour is at the forefront as editor-in-chief, but her famous predecessors (like Diana Vreeland) are covered along with many of the fashion editors. The editors are interviewed, along with photographers, designers and models, all of whom brought fashion from elegance to grunge and back to beauty. Even after watching this, I am still perplexed by what some people regard as fashion. 3½ cans.
88. Sharknado* (2013) – Tornadoes! Flying sharks! People bleeding, dying or being swallowed whole by sharks! Hundreds spent on special effects! This TV movie created quite a stir this month on social media, so I just had to see it for myself. Ian Ziering, formerly of “Beverly Hills 90210” TV fame (whose career has skidded to the point where he is appearing in a Chippendale’s revue in Las Vegas) is Fin – get it, chuckle, chuckle – who tries, with his friends and estranged wife (played by Tara Reid with a one-note expression of consternation throughout), daughter and son, to fight off “the (Shark) Storm of the Century.” This tornado is lifting sharks out of the ocean and depositing them all over the LA area, and boy, are they hungry. There’s lots of homage paid to “Jaws” here (“We’re gonna need a bigger chopper,” one of the girls yells as she and the son fly INTO the storm to defuse it with a bomb). Whose bight idea was that? In fact, the only thing more entertaining than the movie must have been the production meetings. I haven’t seen such fake sharks since the “Landshark” on Saturday Night Live’s first season. Even the rain from the storm looks fake. But when Ziering chainsaws his way OUT of the shark (homage to Jonah and the Whale, no doubt) and rescues the girl, well, I think I began to question the veracity of the story. Maybe watching “Shark Week” would have been a better idea. Still, there’s something to be said for what might be the best worst movie I have ever seen, one that is destined to achieve cult status and help Ian leave Las Vegas. After all, those sharks could be headed to Brandon Walsh’s house in 90210, right? Sequels have already been announced. That’s entertainment? Those damn sharks devoured 3 cans of tuna!
89. First Position* (2011) – Previously unrevealed fact: I went to ballet class when I was 4. Mom dragged me, bribing me with Hershey Bars. Eventually I had to give up one of the two things, and guess which one went by the wayside? That’s not the case in this enthralling documentary about kids from 10-17 who eat, sleep and breathe ballet and who are competing for scholarships and positions (no pun intended) with prestigious ballet companies from around the world in the American Grand Prix. We follow six young dancers, ranging from a teenaged girl who was an orphan in Sierra Leone to a 16-year old boy from Colombia living on his own. We meet a young boy who lives in Italy with his military family, and a beautiful 17-year old who seemingly can do it all but doesn’t achieve perfection on stage. We gasp at their grace and grimace at their pain as they rehearse, stretch their muscles to beyond the breaking point, watch what they eat and even forego traditional education to follow their passion. I am not a big ballet fan, but I defy any athletes to do what these kids can do. I actually got goosebumps as the results were announced. I watched this absorbing documentary on the Sundance channel and highly recommend it. 4 pairs of ballet shoes.
90. The Lucky One (2012) – The lucky one here is the actual author, Nicholas Sparks, who has parlayed his penchant for the prodigious output of contemporary romantic books into a veritable franchise of star-crossed lovers in print and on the screen. Not that the stories are bad, mind you, but if you see the previews and don’t remember if you have already seen the movie or read the book, that certifies that these tales all begin to read and look alike. Here handsome Zac Efron is Logan, a former Marine on a quest to find the woman in a picture he found after a battle in Iraq and whom he credits for keeping him alive. He simply walks from Colorado to Louisiana to find her, and she (Taylor Schilling, who is actually quite good in the role) is beautiful, wonderful and divorced from an obnoxious lout whom in real life she never would have married (OK, she was pregnant when they got hitched). Like the other Sparks stories, there is always a secret, a tragedy and an impediment to the eventual pairing of the leads. So, not bad, really, but not memorable, either. Didn’t I see this one last year? 3 cans.
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