Still Weighting

“Is anyone here not familiar with Weight Watchers?” the leader asked the assembled (mostly) senior women.

Not a hand was raised.

“Oh, so you are all repeat offenders,” she noted, as we all ashamedly shook our heads. But this time it will be different, we resolved in our minds that instant. This time it will work.

One of my pool pals had asked me to go with her to Weight Watchers, which is how I started this time around, weighing a mere 25 pounds more than I weighed the last time I joined. “You just want me to come to support you, right?” I asked her. “Not because I need to lose weight.” She assured me it was the former, but we both knew the truth.

So, yes, I am back in the WW fold, subscribing to the WW philosophy, counting my points, tracking my food choices and taking things one day at a time. And wondering – How did I let it get this bad again (the only thing I have in common with Oprah)?

There are places on earth where people are starving to death, while here in the U.S. we supersize our meals, eat on the run and have access to the healthiest and worst food possible –all at the same time. I would have trouble hooking up with a drug dealer, but I can slip anonymously into a Quik Check and buy a bag of M&Ms without anyone’s being the wiser. Except that 10 pounds later, people might look at me and figure something had to happen or my ass would not be this big. And we have to eat, right? So food is all around and is always an issue. It is making the smart choices and realizing my limits that will help me succeed, and I’m feeling pretty motivated and hopeful these days.

I’ve hit rock bottom more times than a boxer down on his luck. I’ve been told by my highly educated doctor that I need to lose weight. And there have been so many signs: The seats in the movie theater seem smaller than ever. My glasses and socks seem tight. And my knees have buckled under the strain of carting around all those extra pounds.

It’s not like I don’t know what to do. It is simple, really: Eat less and move more. Got that. But until you are ready, it’s tough to swallow. You know what I mean. I have friends who have gone through weight loss surgery successfully, but that doesn’t make sense to me. First, I am still too small, although one friend encouraged me, “eat your way up,” advice that made absolutely no sense to me. And second, aside from the risks inherent in any kind of surgery/recovery, after the surgery you have to go on a massive diet anyway (because you are still massive at that point) since your body can no longer take in that much food. The way I look at it, why not just do the diet and skip the surgery? My insurance company will thank me in the long run.

So now I wander around the supermarket, bypassing the danger zones (candy aisle, bakery), armed with my official Weight Watchers calculator, inputting carbs, fat, fiber and protein to determine the point total of a single serving of whatever food is in my hand. Ah, there’s the rub: What is a single serving anyway? When you look at the former gallon size of ice cream, it tells you there are 12 servings. Please. For some people, everything is the single serving size.

Weight Watchers has changed its ways and now allows you to eat fruit within reasonable limits without counting any points. As our leader cautioned, consuming an entire watermelon will probably not result in weight loss (though you might be ready for a colonoscopy afterwards).

The hard part for me is portion control and avoiding the bad stuff – which makes me fairly typical. Armed with my measuring cups, I dole out a single portion of rice, cereal and even a cup of fruit. Since Weight Watchers allows you extra points beyond your assigned total (which is based on your weight) each week, in theory you could consume an entire chocolate cake as long as you count the points (and don’t eat anything else). You can see where my thinking goes, and I am working hard to change it. I wouldn’t mind being a lifetime member of Weight Watchers (someone who meets the appropriate weight on the chart and maintains it within two pounds – being weighed monthly – can come forever for free). I don’t think they encourage you to be a lifetime member who shows up every few years weighing more than she did last time she joined (guilty). Don’t we all wish we weighed now what we weighed when we first realized we had to lose weight?

Will I succeed? I sure hope so, because this time I am in it to win in. Summer is coming in a few months, and even I don’t want to see me in a shorts or a bathing suit, so the timing is right to drop 10 or 50 pounds before that happens. I look forward to the day I can shop in my own closet, trying on the old stuff that was too tight and finding that it is now too big (to say nothing of outdated). I have jeans in more sizes than the GAP, so I am prepared to be appropriately dressed at any size. I relish not having to buy bigger clothes because the old ones “shrunk at the cleaners” – even the ones I don’t take to the cleaners (wink, wink). Next year is my 40th college reunion, and, as president of my class, I’ll be very visible (though at this current size I am hard to miss). So doing this now to make me look and feel better is all good.

So far, so good. After the first 6 weeks, I’m down about 13 pounds. I promise to update you once in a while to let you know how I am doing. If I don’t, you’ll know I slipped off the wagon and into the closest Burger King. God forbid!

Stay tuned. I’m still weighting.