Happy Not-So-New Year

I nominate “You’re on mute” as the phrase of the year for 2020-2021.

I guess Marie Osmond is the new Ed McMahon because I have seen her all over TV pushing the Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes. I didn’t think people were still buying magazines – but, as we know, no purchase is necessary to enter.

Speaking of magazines, it is strange to be in a waiting room in a doctor’s office these days and see there are NO magazines. Not that I would want to touch one that someone else may have contaminated, but it just seems odd. Instead, the few people waiting are captively watching the NJ News Network, which is so bad that making people watch it may violate the Geneva Convention rules of torture.

So, what do we think of Ken Jennings as the guest host of Jeopardy? Anyone who attempts to succeed the late Alex Trebek has mighty big shoes to fill, but I think Ken is doing a stellar job. Future guest hosts announced so far are Mayim Bialik (formerly of “The Big Bang Theory”) and newscaster Katie Couric. And quarterback Aaron Rodgers, once the winner of Celebrity Jeopardy, gets a chance to see if he can come up with the win, too.

Why do I always sneeze twice? Why do we sneeze at all, for that matter?

With great guilt, I approached the checkout line in CVS to pick up my prescription and pay for my vitamins and the two bags of Dove chocolates in my hand. The woman ahead of me on the line commended me for being prepared for the impending snowstorm by having chocolate in the house. That’s one way of looking at it, I guess, although I’m pretty sure my doctor would disagree.

I received five pairs of beautiful socks for Hanukkah from a dear friend. They are so gorgeous that I think I'll do all of my Zoom calls with my feet on my desk from now on to show them off.

I am 70 years old and I have favorite socks. I’m pretty sure that is NOT normal.

Shopping for produce takes so much longer now because I can’t get those thin plastic produce bags open. More than once I wanted to just put down the zucchini and walk away!

Somebody here left a tissue in a pants pocket that went into the washing machine and got all over the other laundry. I’m not pointing any fingers, but I do live alone…

While terrorists were taking over the US Capitol in an appalling assault on democracy, I was registering for the vaccine. I’m in group 1c, eagerly awaiting my turn.

Someone suggested that Amazon take over vaccine distributions. Just train the drivers to give the shots and they can get it all done in two days – if you have Prime – or within a week for all the others.

One of the reasons I don’t have pets is that I don’t think I could pick out a name. I don’t have kids, either, and the same issue would apply.

It wouldn’t be January without the annual Can-Can sale at ShopRite. Some friends pointed out that this is a great time to snag some real bargains and donate to the Food Bank. I was shocked at how much food I got for the money I spent and saved ($50 on a $100 order). I usually just make a monetary donation, but it made me feel good to drop off bags of food, plus toothpaste, toothbrushes and other non-food items.

I never wanted to work in a warehouse, but now it seems like I do, managing all of my shipments and returns from Amazon. There’s a new Amazon facility that recently opened just a few miles from my house. Now I feel qualified to apply for a job there, since I handle so many orders here at home!

Everybody needs a good, sharp utility knife. With all of the Amazon packages finding their way to the house, there’s much more recycling to do these days. Please don’t tell me that you use scissors or the edge of a screwdriver to open the packages!  A good utility knife is life-changing: When I moved in 2007, I ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome from ripping up boxes without the aid of a good knife. I wore wrist braces to sleep for years and vowed never to move again (OK, that’s another vow broken) – or at least without the proper equipment! No such problem in 2015 when I moved. And, while we are at it, you need a set of Sharpies thick enough to label the boxes you then have to open and break down with your utility knife. Trust me on this one.

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to cut down drastically on drinking bottled water. I have filtered water through my refrigerator, so now I fill my Brita pitcher and put it in the fridge and I have cold, twice-filtered water that really tastes good. (About now you are probably wondering why you are reading this deadly dull blog.)

On December 16 I filled my car with gas for the first time since September. I should be good until at least February since, after all, where am I going?

I had to find some old pictures on an external hard drive recently, and it struck me how much smaller and more convenient they are now. You can buy a “Photo Stick” the size of your pinky for about $100 (depending on storage capacity) that will find your pictures and store them as a back-up. I have mine on a hard drive that almost fits in the palm of my hand. The first external drive I bought had a fraction of the space and was the size of a hardback book. They have come down in price and size and up in storage capacity, making them a convenient and safer way to store things you need or treasure rather than relying on putting everything in the Cloud. Back up your valuable stuff, people!

When I worked for J&J, whenever someone would have an upset stomach, they would go to Pat Cuccia’s desk and request some of the “magic crackers” – plain butter crackers from Pepperidge Farm that Pat kept on hand for just such ailments. They invariably helped. And so did the fact that our little group in the PR department cared for each other enough to have magic crackers on hand. I can’t replace the people, but I decided to buy the crackers recently, and that old, familiar taste was so comforting.

I’ve been all by myself for such a long time – minus trips to ShopRite and my doctors – that I don’t know if I will be able to reenter society when it is safe to go out again. One thing I’m sure of: I will be wearing a mask for at least the rest of this year. 

I am afraid that when I finally get to hug someone I will burst into uncontrollable tears. The last hug I had was on March 8.

One thing Trump can be sure of: President Biden’s Inauguration attendance will not beat Trump’s 2017 crowds. That’s because of new security measures taken to close the Capitol Mall in the aftermath of the terrorist attack on the Capitol incited by Trump on January 6. Almost no one will be able to witness this historic moment in person. He must be so proud.

I liked it better when Banana Republic was just a store in the mall.

Now Trump says he doesn’t want to pay Rudy Giuliani, who reportedly charges $20,000 a day for his crack legal work. Rudy’s going to be buying the real bargain hair dye now, probably from the Dollar Store. I guess if you are going to sell your soul, you can set a high price. But if you don’t get paid, you have lost your soul for nothing.

I miss not feeling afraid. Between the pandemic and all of the adjustments we have all had to make to our daily lives and the political situation in this country with its psychotic vitriol, I have to constantly remind myself to calm down and find joy. Believe me, it is hard to come up with 1500 words of humor every month under these conditions.

At some point this year, I hope I can stop clenching my teeth.

December 2020 Movies & More and Best of the Year

First, here are the 15 movies and shows I watched in December. Following that, you can find the best ones of a busy year, when I watched more than 200 movies, TV series, mini-series, documentaries and more. Movies not previously seen are marked with an asterisk and all are rated on the scale of 1-5 cans of tuna. Numbering picks up from previous months.

192.  Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker* (2020, Netflix) – Debbie Allen is a force of nature. A noted choreographer, director, actor, dancer and star of such memorable movies as “Fame,” she is also the woman behind the “Debbie Allen Dance Academy,” a place where children from age five up can learn to dance. Each year the Academy presents Allen’s version of the classic “The Nutcracker,” which includes not only ballet but hip-hop, tap, Bollywood and other dance styles. In this documentary, we get to meet some of the students and witness their passion for dancing as the troupe gets ready for its special show. I admire people who have passion about something and who follow their dreams. Allen isn’t easy on the kids, but they thrive under her loving tutelage. If you are lucky enough to get into her academy and get a role in “Hot Chocolate Nutcracker,” you are lucky indeed. 3½ cans.
193.  Happiest Season* (2020, Netflix) – This is about as close as I get to watching a holiday movie (excluding “Love Actually”). Kristen Stewart plays Abby, a lesbian who wants to propose to her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis) but there’s a snag: Harper hasn’t come out as gay yet to her straight-laced family. So they go to Harper’s house for Christmas, stay in different bedrooms and pretend they are just friends. And the distance between them is more than two floors. This movie reminded me of “The Family Stone” with the family’s strange behavior. Throw in an ex-boyfriend as well as an ex-girlfriend and the brew gets stranger. Fortunately, Daniel Levy as John comes to help save the day. This was cute enough, better than a Hallmark movie, but surely didn’t make my season the happiest. 3 cans.
194.  Dave (1993, Cable) – My sister often notes that she doesn’t understand why I will watch movies I have already seen. But when there are movies like Dave, I want to see them every now and then and relish each tasty bit. Dave (the fabulous Kevin Kline) is a regular guy who just happens to be the doppelganger of the US President. He is drafted by the President’s henchmen to fill it for POTUS after the prez suffers a debilitating stroke – which shows you the power of the President’s staff, dismissing the existing VP in the line of succession. The real president is a womanizing, corrupt jerk, estranged from his wife (Sigourney Weaver), but Dave is a genuinely good guy who is willing to get his own accountant (the droll Charles Grodin) to look over the US budget and straighten things out. Will good triumph over evil? Will the president recover and Dave disappear? You’ll have to watch this endearing movie for yourself, and it is a treat – no matter how many times I have seen it. 4 cans.
195.  The Prom* (2020, Netflix) – This movie is based on the terrific Broadway musical and the star-studded cast here does not disappoint. There’s Meryl, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, Kerry Washington, Keegan-Michael Key and Andrew Rannells as the leads in a show about a group of washed up “stars” who seek publicity for their failing careers by taking on the cause of a high school girl (Jo Ellen Pellman) whose prom has been cancelled because she wants to bring her girlfriend (Ariana DeBose). The girlfriend has not disclosed to her strict mother that she is gay, so the stars troop into town to encourage her and stage the show. Yes, this is campy and hardly Meryl’s finest hour, but it is invigorating and fun. The lighting, staging and general exuberance make up for the incredulity of it, but isn’t that what theater is all about? This was the last show I saw before the pandemic, and I loved the Broadway version. Here director Ryan Murphy and his choreographers have opened it up so there are dance numbers in the mall (I forgot how much I missed going to a mall…) and all over the place. It is full of vibrant colors and spirited dancing. This is a fun, heartwarming and much-needed reminder of why we need theater AND tolerance. It won’t be the best movie of the year, but I loved it!  4 cans.
196.  Let Them Talk* (2020, HBO Max) – If someone makes a sequel to this movie, it should be called “Make Them Stop.” This story about three old friends reuniting consists of themes about aging and general topics, and much of the dialog was improvised by leads Meryl Streep, Candice Bergen and Dianne Weist under the direction of Steven Soderbergh. The result is no one’s best effort, although the acting was delicious. I believed Meryl Streep as a haughty author, Dianne Wiest as a do-gooder, and Candice Bergen as an aging woman, dissatisfied with her career selling lingerie and on the prowl for a man who can foot her bills. When Streep’s Alice invites her best college buddies to cross the Atlantic with her on a cruise so that she can pick up a literary prize, they are eager to join her despite not having gotten together for 30 years. The premise seemed strained to me and there wasn’t nearly enough reuniting. I admire these actresses and was hoping for a smash, but too much talking and not enough plot dashed my hopes. 3 cans.
197.  The BeeGees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart* (2020, HBO) – Barry, Robin and Maurice were the BeeGees, an enduring group of accomplished singers and songwriters who ruled the charts in the 1970s and 80s. Their music ranged from slightly folksy to slightly funky, but they are best remembered for their work on the disco-infused soundtrack for “Saturday Night Fever,” with such smash hits as “Night Fever,” “You Should Be Dancing,” “How Deep Is Your Love?” and “Jive Talkin.” Who can forget John Travolta strutting down the street to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive” in the movie’s opening sequence? The brothers Gibb were a huge act, recording and touring, drawing crowds and filling stadiums – but there were jealousies and break-ups, too much booze and drugs and periods of failure. This HBO documentary traces their story from their native Australia to England to America. It is the music that rules here, and they wrote all of their own stuff – more than 1000 songs in total. Twins Maurice and Robin have passed away, and before them, younger brother Andy succumbed to a heart attack brought on by drug abuse. But their songs – classics such as “To Love Somebody” and “Words” – live on. 4 cans.
198.  Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom* (2020, Netflix) – This adaptation of the stage play by August Wilson is less about plot and much more about character. The outstanding Viola Davis is transformed into Ma Rainey, a Blues singer who is a talented, stubborn, difficult woman who is large and in charge of every aspect of her life. Chadwick Bozeman delivers a memorable performance as a horn player assured of his own abilities and eager for greater success. You know that there is no way for peaceful coexistence between the more experienced and immovable Ma and this lithe, vibrant man, brimming with his own ideas. Bozeman is heartbreaking to watch now that we know he was in the last stages of the colon cancer that ultimately took his life. To be denied of all of the great performances that would have added to his legacy is almost too much to bear.  From the Black Panther to James Brown to Thurgood Marshall to Levee here, he was a captivating performer who died far too you and who will be missed forever. 4 cans.
198. Stepmom (1998) – Susan Sarandon is Jackie, the perfect mother of two, divorced from Luke (Ed Harris) and loathing Isabel (Julia Roberts, who has never looked better than she does here), the attractive, independent woman he is dating. The kids are precocious, Jackie is passive-aggressive, Isabel is kind-hearted but no shrinking violet, and Luke is never around. Finding her place in a family where she is resented isn’t easy for Isabel, and Jackie’s disdain doesn’t help. This is a beautifully filmed movie that tugs on my heartstrings. The kids in the movie – Jena Malone and Liam Aiken – are outstanding. 4 cans.
199. Auntie Mame (1958) – The incomparable Rosalind Russell plays the eccentric mapcap Mame in this charmer of a movie. When socialite Mame Dennis is suddenly put charge of her young nephew Patrick, she is determined to “open doors” for him, keeping him from the insufferable Mr. Babcock of the Knickerbocker Bank, which manages his trust fund. Living the good life on Beekman Place in New York and palling around with actress friend Vera, artists and unconventional types, Mame loses her fortune in the Great Depression and has to muddle through. But Mame is a survivor, and her little family of Patrick, secretary Nora and houseboy Ito bond together until times get infinitely better. This movie delights and moves me every time I see it, and it is so much better than the musical version of the stage play “Mame,” despite the presence of Lucille Ball in the title role. I miss some of the great music (“We Need a Little Christmas” and “If He Walked Into My Life”), but the character of Mame is, to me, one of the most memorable to grace the screen. 4½ cans.
200. A Christmas Story (1983, TBS) – No holiday season would be complete without Jean Shepherd’s quirky little stroll down memory lane. Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) wants a Red Ranger Rifle, a BB gun destined to shoot his eye out, for Christmas. All the pent-up hope of a little boy is crammed into this funny look back at life, with scenes at school, fighting the neighborhood bully, snowsuits that prevent a kid’s arms from moving, standing on line to see Santa and Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. There’s a kid whose tongue gets stuck to a metal pole and the silly, leggy lamp cherished by Ralphie’s father – all memorable moments in this classic family gem. My Christmas Eve is complete. 3½ cans.
201. Barbra: The Movies, the Memories, The Magic* (Netflix) – This is the film of Barbra Streisand’s most recent concert tour, where she covers smash hits from the albums she has released over 6 decades. All the favorites are here, and she seems thrilled to perform them for an enthusiastic audience. I was lucky enough to finally catch her act on this tour, and Barbra did not disappoint. If you are a fan, don’t miss Barbra in action. 4 cans.
202.  Funny Girl (1968, Prime Video) – My Barbra appetite was whetted by her concert, so what better way to enjoy her extraordinary talent than to start from the beginning? Streisand burst on the stage of the Winter Garden theater several years before in the title role of this story about legendary performer Fanny Brice, and it was only natural that she play Fanny in the film version. It is loaded with memorable songs (“Don’t Rain on My Parade,” “People,”) oozing with brass and bravado, and truly marked the emergence of Barbra Streisand as a leading player in Hollywood. I always think of my mother when watching this magnificent movie, because she insisted that she “discovered” Barbra when she saw the Broadway show. Ma, you got this one right. 4½ cans.
203.  The Family Stone (2005, HBO and Hulu) – Sara Jessica Parker is the uptight girlfriend of the near-perfect man (Dermot Mulroney), but when she goes home with him for Christmas, she makes a big impression – all the wrong way – with his sprawling and loving family. She’s convinced they all hate her (and she isn’t really far off in that assessment), so she gets her sister(Clare Danes) to join her to bolster her ratings. Then her boyfriend falls for her sister and she falls for another brother (Luke Wilson). Throw in the parents (Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson) and sisters (Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Reiser) and chaos ensues. Really cute movie. 4 cans.
204.  The Flight Attendant* (2020, HBO Max) – This 8-part limited series is based on a novel I read earlier this year, but it goes far beyond the confines of the book with plenty of suspense and intrigue. Kaley Cuoco plays the hot mess that is flight attendant Cassie Bowden, a heavy drinker (night or day) whose out-of-control-partying finds her one day waking up next to the dead body of the passenger with whom she had a one-night stand (and that won’t happen again, because his throat is slit). She has the choice to contact the authorities or flee, and, like most of her decisions, she makes the wrong choice. I won’t get into the details here because I don’t want to give up any spoilers, but I will say that even with plenty of action, stabbings, attempted murders, chases, etc., I still thought parts of this series dragged. I found myself getting impatient with the plot and eager for Cassie to pull herself together. Zosia Mamet as her best friend, Annie the lawyer, is a good counterpoint to Cassie, but everyone here is in over their heads. When season 2 debuts, I may not be on board this flight again.  3½ cans.
205.  Hope Gap* (2019, Hulu) – This is a dreary little movie about a hopelessly unhappy couple who have been married for 29 years. Edward (Bill Nighy) can’t do anything right to please his difficult wife Grace (Annette Bening) and he has given up. She thinks they can just make a few changes and all will be well again. What she doesn’t know initially is that he has found someone else – quite by accident – who makes him content and happy. There has to be more to life than making each other tea and not talking, right? They make their grown son Jamie (Josh O’Connor) the intermediary, an awkward position for a young adult who doesn’t want to spend time with his parents even when things are going well. And there you have it. No need to feel downtrodden now since I’ve done it for you. 3 cans.
206.  Starting Over (1979 – from my DVD collection) – The counterpoint to Hope Gap is this charmer about the dissolution of a marriage, a new romance, the intrusion of the first wife and other obstacles to adult happiness. Burt Reynolds is Phil Potter, separated from his singer/songwriter wife (Candice Bergen) when he meets teacher Marilyn (Jill Clayburgh, who steals the show and is a terrific crier). Phil has a tough time adjusting to his divorce and although he and Marilyn seem like a compatible duo, he’s gun shy.  This is an amusing look at adult relationships with some genuinely funny bits. Credit to the gorgeous Candice Bergen for badly singing some terrible songs and letting herself be the butt of the joke. I hadn’t seen this movie in years, and it turned out to be the right time and right way to end this year of movies and more. 4 cans.

Here are the dirty dozen of the best movies and shows I saw in 2020 that made the year palatable. Not all of them were new, but they were new to me. If you have nothing to watch, start with this list.

The Art of Racing in the Rain – I fell in love with Milo Ventimiglia and his dog Enzo here and started crying about halfway through. Not a new film but new to me! Now airing on Hulu.

Uncut Gems – This was a powerful film, desperate and unflinching. I can’t say I enjoyed it, but it was very well done. Netflix.

Just Mercy – Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Foxx build an uneasy alliance in this film about injustice. HBO Max.

The Last Dance – This 10-part ESPN docuseries about the other Michael Jordan was completely addictive. It now airs on Netflix.

Lenox Hill – Real doctors doing real cases that ended just as the pandemic began. Netflix.

13th – Ana DuVernay’s look at racial inequality and the need for prison reform was eye-opening. Netflix.

The Social Dilemma – A scary look at the impact of social networking and the way information is used in nefarious ways. Netflix.

Bruce Springsteen – A Letter to You – The Boss bares his soul and gifts us with new, reflective music in this documentary he created. Apple TV+

Queen’s Gambit – A captivating film about a chess playing prodigy reels you in and does not care if you know anything about chess. Netflix.

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom – Powerful performances by Viola Davis and the late Chadwick Bozeman make this film adaptation a must-see. Netflix.

The Undoing – This mini-series with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant (also starring Donald Sutherland’s eyebrows) was a who-done-it of the first order.  HBO Max.

The West Wing – I reveled in rewatching the 7 seasons and 156 episodes of this drama with its memorable characters, penchant for political complications and humor. Watching this much TV was a commitment, but what else did I have to do? Now on HBO Max.

Other contenders were "Dead to Me, Season 2," "The Morning Show," "The Prom," "The Trial of the Chicago 7" and "Mike Wallace is Here."

My Wish List for 2021

I want the vaccine. I want YOU to get the vaccine. And I want it to be safe and effective.

I want safe and effective treatments for COVID that don’t require you to be a government official with access to the best, government-paid health care to get them.

I want more compassion and empathy for everyone and less animosity.

I want people to stop getting COVID and to stop engaging in behaviors that make it more likely that they will get COVID and spread it to people like me, who have assiduously followed all of the recommendations to stay safe and healthy.

I want to see health care workers, people in nursing homes and other essential workers move to the head of the line for the vaccine, ahead of the politicians who claimed that COVID was a hoax.

I want everyone to remember how many people died in this pandemic, even the people who chose to ignore it.

I want health care workers to get a break. The pressure on them has been unrelenting. 

I want heath care workers to have all of the supplies they need to stay safe while saving lives.

I want to lose the weight I gained in quarantine – and the weight I was supposed to lose before the quarantine.

I want the “Karens” of the world to see themselves on video and think about the example their behavior sets for their children and grandchildren and how it affects our society.

I want to see restaurants and small businesses be able to again open their doors, pay their employees, make money and serve the community.

I want law enforcement personnel to do their work safely and effectively without singling out Black people or people of color for the harshest and sometimes fatal treatment.

I want equality for all people because all lives can’t matter unless Black Lives Matter.

I want to better understand the restrictions people who don’t look like me have and how they have to constantly “code switch” their behavior to fit in to a world that caters to white people, and what I can personally do to make it better.

I want kids to be able to go out and play and have other kids over and fall down and get up on the playground again.

I want the immigrant children separated from their families to be reunited with their parents. 

I want to be able to go outside without the need to wear a mask. But I will continue to wash my hands better and more often, a lesson learned this year.

I want teachers recognized as the heroes they are and to get their proper respect and better pay.

I want people on social media to stop portraying themselves as Constitutional scholars or epidemiologists.

I want us all to listen to medical and scientific experts and not charlatans who have something to gain for giving their “advice.”

I want the My Pillow Guy to go back to selling pillows and not COVID cures. Not that I’d buy either from him.

I want to make reservations for dinner, not for takeout, and sit at a table with friends. I do not want to eat alone.

I want to eat dinner without having to clean up after myself.

I want to be with my friends, to spend time and laugh and hug and hang out and just be friends again. Zoom can't replicate the feeling of being with the people I truly care about.

I want to stop stockpiling toilet paper, paper towels and napkins for fear they won’t be available.

I want to stop doing food inventory and deciding whether to adopt a LIFO or FIFO policy in managing my pantry and freezer.

I want to do things on the spur of the moment.

I want to see Broadway shows and concerts and sporting events live and in person, with lots of cheering and high-fives.

I want to go to the movies.

I want to go to a store and wander around aimlessly. And I want to be able to try on clothes.

I want to get my hair cut when I actually need a haircut and not out of fear of an impending lockdown.

I want to go to the nail salon.

I want the government to be honest and do the right thing, putting the rights and safety of the people first.

I want to stop all the acrimony that this year has resulted in the end of relationships and friendships because of divergent points of view.

I want the government officials who have profited illegally from the pandemic to be brought to justice.

I want to see justice served on those in power who squandered their responsibilities and put themselves first.

I want to see the Rutgers Men’s and Women’s Basketball teams stay safe and healthy and win National Championships for the first time.

I want to see and hug my best friend for such a long time that it will be really awkward when we finally let go.

I want to understand how I can be a better person and make the world a better place.

I want this nightmare to be over and I want good health for everyone.

I want the vaccine.






 

December 2020 Message from Tina - Tina's Tidbits

I am at the stage of online shopping where I find a package outside my door and think, “I wonder what this is.”

Is anyone else ready to eat dinner at 4 PM or is it just me? I mean it’s practically dark by then, so I think it is nighttime. I need a better (healthier) routine!

Recently I bought a roll of invisible tape. Now I can’t find it.

The verdict is in on the heavy question of using a weighted blanket, and it is a go! The blanket I have is for a twin bed (I sleep in a queen, as befitting someone of my stature) so I have the blanket spread across the bed. I wouldn’t want to carry that thing around – it is really heavy when you have to lift it – but when the weight is distributed over the area (sounds like a math equation is coming!), it is spread out enough so I don’t feel crushed. I think I am sleeping better, although I am still not getting enough sleep to suit my needs. Is 10 hours too much to ask? Yes, it is a little harder to turn over and tougher to make the bed, but sleeping with the weighted blanket makes me feel cozy and tucked in. I just hope I don’t need a rapid escape from the bed because I’m pretty weighed down now. And I am keeping it.

About once a year I try mustard just to confirm that I don’t like it. Today was that day. Confirmed, although I do use a tiny amount in my egg salad. Just not on a hotdog.

Last week I gathered up all of my myriad of catalogs with the intention of going through each one and doing any necessary shopping. I was waylaid by going for my second shingles shot since I was due to get that completed. And then I started going through my will so I could call my attorney and make changes (none of you are in it, by the way, so don’t start cozying up to me now). And just for fun, I parted my hair on the other side to see what it looked like. No one at CVS noticed. You could say I am either very distracted or very productive. Your choice.

This year’s holiday gift suggestions from Amazon are a little different from previous years. There are lots of masks – medical looking-ones and cute, colorful ones – plus face shields (nothing says, “Merry Christmas” like a plastic face shield), disposable gowns (and I don’t mean to wear to Cinderella’s ball), and those dryers used for manicures at the nail salon for those folks now doing their nails at home (raises hand).

It is not possible to have a Zoom meeting without having to say, “Mary, unmute yourself!” at some point during the session.

Right after GLITTER on the “Bane of My Existence” list comes Styrofoam. No matter how carefully you handle it, little white pieces break off and cling to you, the furniture and the floor. And you can’t avoid it totally because things are shipped with it, like a medication I take that has to be kept cold so it is shipped in a Styrofoam container. Nothing is easy. 

I don't think anyone misses me as much as Kohl's. They keep sending me these pleading, desperate text messages to try to entice me with their sales. I hope they are still around when it's safe to go out again.

Signs of the times: I keep a mask hanging on a hook by my front door for those rare occasions when someone rings my bell and I have to open the door and speak. I’m ready!

Raise your hand if you predicted at this time last year that we would all be wearing masks (those of us with common sense, at least) and that masks would become a kind of fashion statement. I ordered several custom-made masks as Christmas gifts this year and I guarantee that idea was not on my radar in 2019.

I recently put on a pair of real pants, the kind with a button and a zipper, for a Zoom meeting. Not that anyone could see them, but along with wearing earrings, I felt like Cinderella at the ball.

My sweats are now classified as regular or “dressy.” Hey, throw on a scarf and who can tell the difference on a Zoom call?

I’m a little concerned about losing my identity. Sometimes my phone won’t recognize my fingerprint when I try to sign on. It’s really me!

You know what young people don’t have to deal with that was a challenge for my generation? Toll calls. You would try to call after 9 to get a lower rate, or maybe reach your uncle in California on a Sunday afternoon to keep costs down. Now most of us pay no attention to the location of the person we are trying to reach or the length of the call. I recently watched an entire Rutgers Women’s Basketball game while on the phone with a friend who sits with me at the RAC to see live games. It wasn’t exactly like being there, but it was the next best thing – and it was FREE!

Sometimes as I sit in my office, my printer begins to make noises as if it is getting ready to print even though I haven’t sent anything to the printer. I guess it is raising its little printer hands as if to say, “Hey, I’m ready! Print something!”

When I bought a mesh bag to keep my socks from disappearing in the dryer, I thought I had closed off escape routes. Now, one of the two wool dryer balls I use instead of dryer sheets has also vanished. I found the other one hiding out in the sleeve of a sweatshirt I had washed and dried but the first one remains missing in action. I have a feeling that the next time I change the sheets, I will find it hiding away, tucked in a corner. 

It is so loud in my house in the morning! Between the inevitable sneezing, coughing, throat clearing, sniffing, nose blowing, stretching and groaning, this house echoes with a cacophony of sounds all emanating from one person: Me. It is good I live alone. 

The “Real Housewives” reality show franchise has featured women in locations from Beverly Hills, Atlanta, Washington, DC, New York and other places where overdressed wives (and ex-wives) live. Recently I heard an ad for a new version in Salt Lake City. Really? Real, dolled up Mormon housewives get a show? If that’s the case, I propose “The Real Housewives of Canal Walk,” that would be shot in my active adult community. I can imagine the senior ladies getting all spiffed up for trips to the doctor, for a mah jongg game, book club meetings, an outing to Costco and the like. That would be a REAL reality show!

The only thing I like less than handwashing the dishes is emptying the dishwasher on the rare occasions when I use it. There’s a conundrum.

I am fairly certain that the “Jeopardy” folks wanted to offer me the job as the new host after the sad death of legendary Alex Trebek, but his shoes would be much too big to fill. Without Alex, the show will never be quite the same. All-time winner Ken Jennings is slated to take over on an interim basis, and I have a feeling other folks will get on-air try-outs, too. I won’t wait by the phone.

I recently received an email from Mercedes with an offer to buy things like a Mercedes fleece pullover for something like $139. You would think that after buying a $60K car (and I haven’t bought a car since 2013), they might throw in for FREE a sweater that advertises their cars. Among other things available for purchase was a rolling suitcase, which is just what I need in case I want to move upstairs from my first-floor bedroom – because that would be the only traveling in my future!

My photography club issues monthly challenges where members submit a photo one month of a landscape or shapes and another of patterns or other subjects. Last month we were supposed to submit photos that represented “before and after,” showing how an original photo was edited or enhanced to make it better. I took a different approach. My “before” picture was a peach. My “after” was the pit. I may not be taking many pictures these days, but at least I have retained my sense of humor.

Tina's November 2020 Movies & More

Considering that I spent more than 100 hours rewatching "The West Wing," it is amazing that I managed to see 17 movies and TV series in November. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the Bartlet Administration, so the time was well worth it. Programs not previously seen are marked with an asterisk and numbering picks up from previous months. Ratings go from 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the best.

175.  Guillermo Vilas: Settling the Score* (2020, Netflix) – This documentary could also be called “Sour Grapes,” though not because of the former star tennis player himself. When the Argentinian Vilas played his best tennis, in the 1970s, the world rankings were done a bit haphazardly, a fact that so bothered an Argentinian journalist named Puppa that years later he poured through newspaper and magazine articles, rankings published by the ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) and whatever else he could get his hands on to make the case that Vilas deserved to be ranked number one in the world for more weeks than he had been. Vilas played against – and beat – such tennis icons as Bjorn Borg and Jimmy Connors, but did not hold the number 1 ranking for as many weeks as they did (justifiably, in my view). Unless you are into arcane mathematical equations or really enjoy footage of men playing tennis nearly 50 years ago, this documentary is not for you. I was at Forest Hills for the classic US Open semi-final match between Vilas and Manuel Orantes where Orantes was down by two sets and trailing 5-0 in the third set only to come all the way back and beat Vilas in the most thrilling match I have ever seen – and even I wasn’t all that interested in this movie. 2½ cans for being dull – except for watching Vilas play.
176. The West Wing (Netflix) – I should get extra credit for this one: I decided to rewatch this NBC series that aired in the early 2000s and seven seasons and 156 episodes later I had a new respect for the office of the President – present company excluded. My timing could not have been better, as I got to season 7 in time for the simultaneous real and fictional presidential election. As votes were being “cured” and counted and argued about in the real news, I sweated out the results of a vigorous fictional campaign. Comparisons and contrasts were unavoidable. The acting on this show is superb, exceeded only by the writing – especially the initial seasons that were helmed by Aaron Sorkin, a master of fast-spoken, snappy dialog. I salute President Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen) and his whole crew – Bradley Whitford, Allison Janney, John Spencer, Dule Hill, Richard Schiff, Rob Lowe, Janel Moloney, Stockard Channing and the others who followed them and who made this drama reality for me. I miss those characters – and the grace of compassion and doing the right thing – so much. We could use “Bartlet for America” right now. 4½ cans. PS - This series is leaving Netflix at the end of the year but will be available on some other streaming service, I'm sure.
177.  The Queen’s Gambit* (2020, Netflix limited series) – The title here represents the opening move in a chess game, where young Beth excels as a preternaturally gifted player. An orphan, she lives in an miserable orphanage where her only respite from grim reality is learning and playing chess in the basement with the school custodian, Mr. Schiebel. Beth lies in bed at night envisioning chess moves on the ceiling. When she is adopted by a couple looking for a companion for the lonely wife, she initially is not allowed to play chess, but as her new mother begins to understand Beth’s skill (and earning potential), she relents. I don’t want to give away the rest of the plot, but the story, while centered on Beth’s prowess as a player, shows a girl who grows into a young woman lacking acceptance and disconnected in large part from society. Chess becomes her solace and the players her family. Her personality goes to extremes, as she becomes more dependent on pills and booze to relieve her loneliness. If you are a chess player or understand more about the game, the matches in this movie would be thrilling, I’m sure. But even for someone with no knowledge of the game, they become like athletic events, full of suspense. Anya Taylor-Joy, who plays Beth, reminded me of Emma Stone with her big eyes and lanky frame. I’ll be interested in seeing her next move. 4 cans.
178.  Always Be My Maybe* (2019, Netflix) – Just the title of this rom-com should be enough to give away the ending, and it didn’t disappoint in that regard. Sasha and Marcus grew up as neighbors and best buds, briefly interested in each other as more than friends before high school ended and they went their separate ways. She (now played by Ali Wong) gains acclaim as an innovative chef and restaurateur with a high-powered boyfriend/partner. He (Randall Park) joins his father in the heating and cooling business, still missing his late and wonderful mother, who loved Sasha like a daughter. We see them in the present, both in relationships and with no interest in each other. This is hardly “When Harry Met Sally,” but a scene in a high-end restaurant with Keanu Reeves is hilariously memorable. If you need a distraction from the comedy/tragedy playing out in DC or a break from coronavirus warnings, take a look at this cute flick.  3½ cans – 3 without the Keanu Reeves part!
179.  People Like Us* (2013, HBO) – I’m not sure any of these people are like us, but it is hard to pass up a chance to watch Chris Pine on the screen. He plays Sam, a man whose estranged father has died. He has no desire to go to the funeral, and he shows up (late) with his girlfriend Hannah (Olivia Wilde) just to satisfy his mother. (You know we are all getting old when Michelle Pfeiffer is cast as the very adult man’s mother.) The father had been a music rep with a huge stash of records who leaves Sam a shaving kit containing $150K and a request to get it to his grandson, Josh. It turns out that Josh is the grandson no one else knew he had, and the kid’s mother, Frankie (Elizabeth Banks), is, therefore Sam’s half-sister. Sam establishes a relationship with the two without telling them who he is. Down on his luck, Sam really could use that money, but he knows he is supposed to give it to Frankie for Josh, a lonely 11-year old who gets himself into trouble by doing things like blowing up the school pool. I kept urging Sam to tell Frankie what was going on, but the writers had their own ideas. This movie was well acted and Sam, while unable to manage his own life successfully, intercedes in the life of his new family. 3½ cans.
180.  The Times of Bill Cunningham* (2020, Prime Video) – Photographer, fashion chronicler, The New York Times writer and all-around man of New York, Bill Cunningham lived and died for fashion. He appreciated the cut of a garment, the fabric, the way it draped the body. But this former milliner wore hand-me-downs given him by fashion doyennes of the city who cleaned out their husbands’ closets. An unpretentious soul, he went to the best parties, camera always in hand, to capture the life of high society, people like Jackie Kennedy, Babe Paley and high-end designers. He knew everyone who was anyone in New York social and fashion circles. Cunningham was known for his pictures of street fashion, and every day seemed to excite this enormously affable and enthusiastic gentleman. He lived modestly in the same studio apartment for more than 50 years and could be seen daily riding his bike – always bought used. This is the second documentary I have seen on Bill Cunningham (the first was “Bill Cunningham New York” from 2010), and since I don’t follow fashion, you know the attraction had to be the personality and point of view of the man himself. 3½ cans.
181.  A Most Beautiful Thing* (2020, Prime Video) – The West Side of Chicago in the 1990s had plenty of gang rivalries, drug dealers, street violence and poverty. What it didn’t have was an all-Black high school rowing team. The students at all-Black Manley High were in rival gangs and avoided each other to be safe. But one day a man named Kenny, a white, Jewish rower, showed up with a boat and a plan, as former rivals joined together to compete on the water. Many of these young men were from families with drug addiction or had parents who were incarcerated. Many were quite literally in the same boat. This documentary shows the 1998 team reuniting to honor that special experience of working together, bonding, and succeeding in a sport they never knew existed. I’ll refrain from providing further details, but if you are looking for a heart-warming, inspiring movie, here’s one to see. Stuff like this gives me hope for a better world. 3½ cans.
182.  Midnight Run (1988) – This classic comedy caper is a buddy movie about two guys who are not buddies, who drive each other crazy, until they become buddies after all. Robert DeNiro is Jack Walsh, former copy and current bounty hunter who has to capture Jonathan “The Duke” LaDuca (Charles Grodin), mob accountant turned Robin Hood do-gooder, and get him to Los Angeles for the bail bondsman (Joe Pantoliano) who put up the cash. This movie is the original planes, trains and automobiles, as Jack and the Duke use every form of transportation short of a boat to get back to LA so Walsh can get his money, with the Duke resisting all the while. There are cops and Feds and mobsters and lamebrains and even a rival bounty hunter in this delight, which is thoroughly entertaining throughout its midnight run. This is a movie that could never be made today because Walsh smokes incessantly, including in the airport and on the plane(s) because this movie was made before smoking was banned. Great, fun flick. 4 cans.
183. Please Stand By* (2017, Hulu) – Dakota Fanning is Wendy in this winning story of a 21-year old woman with autism. Wendy lives in a group home, holds a job at Cinnabon and spends much of her time writing a script to submit in a contest for Star Trek. She has a strict routine and a bit of independence, but she is supervised by Scotti (Toni Collette). Her goal is to go from San Francisco to Paramount Studios in LA to submit her script in person by the deadline. But when she sneaks Petey the dog onto the bus, the driver kicks her off, leaving her on the side of the road. It will take wit and moxie to get to where she is going safely, and Scotti and Wendy’s sister Audrey are hot on her trail. Fanning does a great job playing Wendy, and you can’t help but root for her to succeed. 3½ cans.
184.  Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987, AMC On Demand) – My Thanksgiving is complete, now that I have once again watched this endearing comedy with Steve Martin as frustrated traveler Neil, who keeps bumping into annoying salesman Dell (the late John Candy). Both guys are trying their best to get home to Chicago in time for Thanksgiving, but every possible thing happens to prevent them from getting there. Candy is a big hulk of a guy, but full of a soft and warm center. Martin is uptight and driven (occasionally on the wrong side of the road). They don’t call these movies “buddy movies” for nothing, however, as the characters begin to understand each other despite their conflicts and the circumstances. Terrific movie, great performances, and always something for which to be thankful in this special season. 4 cans.
185.  Jasper Mall* (2020, Prime Video) – If you want to go where the action is, this Alabama mall is NOT the place. Once thriving and anchored by the likes of J.C. Penney, the mall is now frequented by morning mall walking regulars, a contingent of old men playing dominoes and few shoppers. No amount of carnivals in the parking lot or Santa in the food court will draw the shoppers back to the largely abandoned Jasper Mall. This documentary, told mostly through one employee who does everything from turning on the lights, unlocking the doors and emptying the trash to trying to entice larger stores to relocate to a place where space is abundant, might have benefited from some voiceover or graphics to tell its story. But you get the sense that it typifies the American experience, where shoppers have turned from malls to online shopping, and major retailers have closed nationwide, leaving enormous empty spaces behind. The movie is almost as dull as the mall’s own existence, but, as a recreational shopper, I felt obliged to endure it. 2½ cans.
186.  Blue Jay* (2016, Netflix) – Amanda and Jim (Sarah Paulsen, Mark Duplas) were meant for each other. After being in a solid relationship in high school and beyond, they ultimately moved on, with Amanda getting married and Jim staying single, secretly knowing she was “the one.” Now he returns to their hometown to clean up his mother’s house after her death and he runs into her at the market. They have coffee and conversation, dredging up the old memories, laughs and their good times together. This is the opposite of an action movie. In fact, Jim and Amanda are the only characters who speak. But the solid performances by the leads make it seem like the dialog is between two old friends, not between actors playing roles. Duplass wrote the screenplay and delivers his part deftly. I’m not giving this movie a big thumbs up because you might find it dull – I had to rewatch the part when I felt asleep – but the acting was so good and natural. 3 cans.
187.  The Mystery of D.B. Cooper* (2020, HBO and Prime Video) – Here’s the background on this true story: D. B. Cooper boarded a plane in November 1971 and hijacked it, demanding millions of dollars and a few parachutes. After a quick stop at a Northwestern airport where the passengers were released, his demands were met. He then donned the parachute and jumped into infamy in the only hijacking case that to this day remains unsolved. This documentary presents not one, not two but four possible contenders for the identity of D. B., including one transsexual. Each of the suspects has “backers,” people who swear he confessed to them on his deathbed or he was an uncle of theirs. This mystery has fascinated people since it happened. Did Cooper perish during the jump? Did he land, take the money and run? And why, years later, did some damaged money traced back to the case turn up? One thing I can say for sure: This case remains a mystery with plausible suspects and no resolution. 3½ cans.
188.  Under the Boardwalk: The Monopoly Story* (2010, Prime Video) – Every kid has grown up playing Monopoly, right? The classic board game from Parker Brothers has been around for 75 years, ironically introduced during the Depression. The game today is availble in countless languages, its familiar Boardwalk and Park Place properties bearing names more appropriate to their foreign locales in international versions. And it is not just a kids’ game – unless you think kids dream of forcing their competitors into bankruptcy. Adults who play the game compete in national tournaments with the winners coming to the US to face off in Atlantic City (naturally) along with the US champion. It took years for the original version of Monopoly to morph into what we see on the board today with the familiar graphics, street names and shoe, racecar and thimble tokens. There is plenty of strategy and wheeling and dealing involved. Watching this movie isn’t exactly like watching an Olympic sport, but for the players involved, the world championship is their Olympic Gold. 3½ cans.
189.  Hillbilly Elegy* (2020, Netflix) – I didn’t know this movie was based on a true story written by the main character. All I knew was that Ron Howard directed it and the stars were Glenn Close and Amy Adams, which was enough to get me to watch it. It was a real fun-fest – if your idea of fun is mental illness, drug addiction, domestic violence (I think setting your husband on fire in your living room qualifies) and extreme poverty. The film cuts between J.D., a teenaged boy living with his ill-tempered and drug-addicted mother and J.D. 14 years later, a young man trying earnestly to work his way through Yale Law School and escape from the drama of his Kentucky-Ohio roots. There is a lot of arguing, hopelessness and despair, yet somehow this family still cares for each other. Glenn Close as Mamaw, the grandmother, is nearly unrecognizable with a head of curly hair and a wardrobe straight out of a clothing bin. She seemed so specifically anti-typecast that I kept thinking of Carol Burnett when she played Eunice on “Mama’s Family,” a bitter, dour woman claiming to love her family but demonstrating only a modicum of warmth. Amy Adams is J.D.’s irresponsible and drug-addicted mother. I think the film improved for me once I found out it was based on a true story, because I could not believe this young kid could turn his life around and end up at Yale Law School. It was well-done, but relentless in its sadness. 3½ cans.
190.  Any Day Now (TV series from the early 2000s, Start TV) – I am recommending this TV series from the early 2000s era because despite the passage of time, it seems so relevant to our remaining issues of racial injustice. But mostly I love it because of its central construct – the warm and enduring friendship between two women who were best friends growing up and who, despite a 20-year lapse, manage to rekindle their affection and support for each other. Lawyer Renee Jackson (Lorraine Toussaint) is the daughter of an attorney in Birmingham, Alabama, a man whose death brings her back home from her high-powered job in Washington. Mary Elizabeth (Annie Potts) has settled down with childhood sweetheart Collier Sims and their kids, living a decidedly unlavish lifestyle. When Renee returns home, the friendship picks up again. Flashbacks to their youth in the early 1960s show how young Renee, a Black girl, faced discrimination and wasn’t welcome in the home of ME’s white family. As they grow up, they experience issues like interracial marriage, the KKK, unemployment, losing a child and a brother. Renee takes on court cases that encompass everything from rape and child custody to artistic expression and abortion. The series lasted about four seasons, and I just finished watching one episode a day on Start TV until I saw them all – a very good use of my time. 4 cans.
191.  The Undoing* (HBO, HBO Max) – This HBO limited series was a gripping Who-Done-It drama about the brutal murder of a woman and the arrest of her lover. Hugh Grant is an esteemed pediatric oncologist who had an affair with the woman and who left incriminating evidence at the murder scene. Nicole Kidman is his psychologist wife, mother of his son, and the daughter of a wealthy man (Donald Sutherland, whose eyebrows continue to haunt me). Kidman is a high society woman who had no idea about her husband’s transgression, but now that she knows, will she still support him, vouch for him? Of course, there are plenty of red herrings along the way to pique your suspicions, and a climatic courtroom scene is a must. I found this drama very well acted and absorbing. Catch it if you can. 4 cans.