No, I am not writing this essay from a marijuana dispensary.
This month I am focusing on the latest kitchen gadget that I just HAD to buy, the Instant Pot. The presentation on QVC was so compelling that I called a friend and made her buy one, too. Every dish the hosts took out of this modern-age pressure cooker looked so completely yummy that I was instantly hooked. And the cooking time? Next to nothing, they touted, even when frozen chicken was used. (Damn QVC and the Today's Special Value!)
But what they didn’t mention was more than what they said. Let’s start with the fact that the name is a real misnomer and only partially correct. It is a pot. Instant? Not by a long shot. Since this device is an updated pressure cooker, I followed the instructions to steam up a batch of water to make sure it wouldn’t blow up under pressure. Just the term “pressure cooker” is enough to evoke fear in many people, although this appliance is capable of slow cooking, baking and other feats of culinary magic, not just pressure cooking. However, let’s not forget that people have used pressure cookers to make bombs.
Before I attempted to make food in this contraption, I first had to do the “water test.” In this case, I’m pleased to say that it did not detonate. It takes at least 10 minutes just to get up to full pressure, and then you have to release the pressure by turning a valve, or you can let it release naturally. Both take time.
Next, I followed the advice of the entire Instant Pot Community group I joined on Facebook, where the IP vets (I’m into the lingo now) said to stick to a recipe. I chose chicken, scouring the internet for a recipe that would be simple to follow. It WAS simple, but it took much more than an instant.
I had to first brown the chicken using the sauté feature. Although my Viva model is a sizable 6-quart unit, much of the space in it is vertical, so having enough room to brown the boneless chicken breasts (which I cut in half to fit better) was a challenge. I cooked them for considerably more than the time recommended because I had thick pieces of chicken. Nobody wants to eat rare chicken, right?
Then I removed the chicken and added liquid – not the water the recipe called for (too blah), but a 14-oz can of chicken stock. And I threw in some lemon juice (which I never did taste in the final product) for flavor. You put the chicken back in on the trivet provided, and then comes the important part – you lock the lid on the device (which is like locking the astronauts into a space capsule, but on a smaller scale) turn it on and wait for it to get up to steam. There’s a little float that bounces around until the steam level is reached, when it locks into an upright position. Again, Instant is not exactly accurate. This whole process is easy enough – you set the timer and when the pot reaches steam level, it starts the countdown to the time you set – but just getting to this point took more than 10 minutes. I set the time for 9 minutes (remember, the 9 minutes starts AFTER the pot reaches the steam/pressure level) instead of the recommended 5 minutes – again, because the chicken was so thick.
Here’s the thing – once the pot gets up to steam, you can’t just lift the lid and check the progress. You have to let it finish its cycle and then wait until the steam is released naturally (which took another 5 minutes) or release the rest manually, taking care not to get scorched by the steam coming out of the venting valve. I don’t recommend trying this for a facial.
So, mine went through the cycle, and I followed the directions to let it “naturally” release its steam, which is somewhat like waiting for Mount Vesuvius to blow up. That’s 5 minutes, followed by another 5 minutes after manually releasing the steam. Then there was another 5 minutes of waiting time to let it sit and retain the juices.
Let’s face it, I could have browned the chicken on the stove top and popped it into the oven, or I could have cooked the whole thing on top of the stove much FASTER than the so-called INSTANT pot. But the chicken was tasty and tender, and there was a lot less clean-up because nothing splattered all over the stove, which is my usual MO.
Feeling flushed with success over my first attempt with the IP, next I tackled an even simpler recipe – buttered noodles. I used a half of a stick of butter melted in the bottom of the pot on the sauté setting. The recipe called for chicken stock, but I used vegetable instead and threw in a can of cream of chicken soup to add thickness. The noodles were broad noodles that get even broader when they are cooked. I used half of the bag (and it lasted me for three days).
Once the pot came up to full pressure, it took just a mere 5 minutes to turn the dish into fully-cooked, tasty noodles, which is much less time than it would have taken to boil the water and cook the noodles conventionally, so I marked this one a win. The end product had too much liquid – it looked like soup with a boatload of noodles in it – but I can adjust that.
My third experiment was a modest attempt. I had 2 turkey tenderloins, about ¾ of a pound each, that I seasoned and sautéed in the IP. I then added chicken stock (which I am running through at an alarming pace) and I threw in some baby carrots. The turkey was tender and the carrots overcooked after 15 minutes, so next time I’ll use less liquid and cut the cooking time a bit.
So far, so good. I haven’t blown up the kitchen, and the cleanup is easier because all of the food is in one pot. There’s no sautéing on the stove and cleaning up the splatters. Amazon has already delivered the cake pans I ordered that fit in the Instant Pot and allow you to not only bake, but to steam things stacked up, so you can cook more than one thing at a time. Then I remembered that I don’t bake, and that I sure don’t need to eat cake! I’m not sure Weight Watchers will approve my use of this device. I’m cooking and eating more these days, which is very un-WW-like of me.
I’m curious about other recipes. It looks like it will be good for making soup, although my current recipe for butternut squash soup only takes less than 30 minutes from prep through cooking. The idea here is to replace the crock pot with this device, which takes a lot less time than a slow cooker. But I know I can’t walk out the door with the Instant Pot going like I can with the crock pot, and what’s better than walking into the house to the fragrant smell of a dinner cooking, just waiting for you for serve and enjoy? Let’s try a pot roast to see how the house smells after that.
I’m willing to keep experimenting. But I will get an earlier start and make sure that I factor in the extra time and that I don’t start out this process when I am already starving. Otherwise this gadget will sit comfortably in the pantry, next to the Air Fryer that I just HAD to have when I saw that gadget on QVC and have used just once – with disastrous results. So far, the score at Casa Gordon is Instant Pot 3, Air Fryer 1.
Monday, October 15, 2018
Monday, October 1, 2018
Tina's September 2018 Movies
This month's dirty dozen movies included quite a few I had not seen previously (marked with an asterisk), including a documentary about the always interesting and controversial Jane Fonda, one about the NY Fire Department and a classic musical that was great to watch again. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating. Numbering picks up from previous months.
104. The Wife* (2018) – He is a renowned author who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills. He publicly professes his love for her. And then he hands her his coat to hold. Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage. There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.” Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife. Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough. Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography. Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly. I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film. 4 cans.
105. Slap Shot (1977) – What “Bull Durham” is to minor league baseball, “Slap Shot” is to minor league hockey – minus the rom-com aspects and with more comedy. This a raucous movie about the trials and tribulations of a minor league hockey team about to fold. Newman is Reg Dunlap, the aging player-coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, a horrible hockey team in a crappy league full of has-beens and never-weres. The team is headed to oblivion when management decides to bring back brawling, led by the bespectacled Hanson brothers. When the three brothers arrive on the scene (complete with their toys) and are let loose on the ice, mayhem ensues and the team succeeds. Ah, but enough to make them an attractive franchise for another town to purchase? Newman is terrific, skating enough to seem credible as a hockey player. Michael Ontkean is the brainy player who won’t fight, and Strother Martin, Newman’s nemesis in the great “Cool Hand Luke,” is the general manager of the hockey club. 4 cans for a lot of laughs and the great Maxine Nightingale song, “Get Right Back to Where You Started From.” And Newman.
106. The Captive* (2014) – This apparently little-known movie is an intriguing one. (I found it on Netflix but could not find information online about it because it shares its title with a 1959 film.) Ryan Reynolds is a desperate dad following the disappearance of his nearly 10-year-old daughter from his truck while he quickly ducked into a store to get her ice cream. Eight years pass, with police still on the case but gathering no clues. Who would have abducted her and why? Detectives Rosario Dawson and Scott Speedman have a theory and begin to eek out info and details, but they think the father may be involved. Meanwhile, on the marital front, the relationship is deteriorating since mom blames dad for leaving their daughter alone in the truck. There were times I was transfixed and other times that I thought this is never going to end. Never leave kids alone in the car is the message here. 3½ cans.
107. My Fair Lady (1964) – THIS is a musical. It has a book, lovely songs with memorable lyrics, plenty of dancing, and STARS – Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins and Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle. It is based on the classic Pygmalion story by George Bernard Shaw about a professor of linguistics who makes a bet with his colleague that he can take a lowly flower girl with a Cockney accent and make her into a lady. In today’s climate, I had to overlook the misogynistic tone and the Professor’s impervious manner, but it is a joy watching as Eliza transforms from a shrinking violet to a self-assured woman. You know the saying, “They don’t make them like that anymore?” Well, they don’t. I can understand the outrage of replacing Julie Andrews, who starred in the stage version, with Hepburn, a bigger star whose voice was dubbed, but the musical succeeds quite nicely, with credit to Harrison – who, ironically, speaks his numbers but does it so well that you don’t mind. Since I am going to see the revival at Lincoln Center, I thought I should brush up on my proper English first. 4 cans. PS – The stage version I saw at Lincoln Center was outstanding. I highly recommend it.
108. The Gift* (2015) – Joel Edgerton gave himself a gift with this suspenseful movie, serving as writer, director and a star. Gordo (Edgerton) and Simon (the always watchable Jason Bateman) are former high school classmates who meet as Simon and his wife move into town for his big promotion. Gordo seems nice enough, but there are shades of stalking in his repeated contacts with Simon and Robyn (Rebecca Hall) – showing up unannounced, bearing gifts so the young couple has to respond, etc. It seems Simon and Gordo were more than classmates, and Simon may not be the great guy he appears to be, making Robyn uncomfortable with her hubby as well as his strange friend. 3 cans.
109. The Group* (1966) – As someone who graduated from a women’s college, I thought this movie about a group of women from an unnamed but Ivy League-type college in 1933 would be more appealing. Instead, it is overwrought, badly acted, stilted and it reinforces men’s bad behavior (I’m not saying it is inaccurate, mind you). The story follows the young women as they leave college, meet and marry (or try to) men and establish careers. The eight characters are all relatively wealthy and privileged, but that does not translate into happiness in this soapy drama. The cast is a good one on paper (Candace Bergen, in her feature film debut, gets the least amount of screen time but her character’s name is mentioned most often), Jessica Walter, Joanna Pettit and a bunch of others who seem virtually interchangeable. Maybe it was more relevant when it was released in the mid-60s, but now it seems too melodramatic. One point in its favor is the strength of the bond between the women, which definitely resonates with me. 3 cans.
110. All the Money In the World* (2017) – This is the film notorious for editing out actor and accused sexual molester Kevin Spacey, who originally played billionaire J. Paul Getty, and replacing him with Christopher Plummer as the aging oil mogul whose 16-year old grandson Paul (Charlie Plummer) is kidnapped. You may remember the story, so I’ll skip the details. Getty refuses the pleas of Gail, his former daughter-in-law (Michelle Williams) to pay the $17 million ransom demanded by the kidnappers. Getty states publicly that if he were to pay, the bad guys would abduct all 17 of his grandchildren. The action goes between negotiations with Getty and Gail, aided by Getty advisor Fletcher Chase (Mark Wahlberg), who is clearly on the side of the distraught mother. Getty wants to find a way to pay less – if anything – and do it in a way that he can deduct it from his taxes. He is a stubborn old miser, collecting art and furnishing grand mansions while his family is nearly destitute. Meanwhile, the poor kid’s life hangs in the balance while the bad guys ramp up their threats of harming the teenager. Not a fun movie to watch, but kudos for excellent performances. 3½ cans.
111. Searching* (2018) – Too many people live their lives online these days, where everything you do or say can be consumed by friends or enemies. John Cho is David Kim, whose relationship with his 16-year-old daughter Margot (Michelle La) is largely conducted online, even though they live in the same house. They text, Facetime, send emails and do everything except actually sit and talk, for the most part. So, when she goes missing one day and he is asked by Detective Vick (Debra Messing in a rare dramatic role) for names of her friends and for her activities, David is at a loss. He turns to the computer for clues, and most of the movie is shown on a screen, with Facetime, videocalls and lots of clicking on the keyboard as he constructs a life for his daughter that he knew nothing about. The movie has plenty of intrigue as the detectives, aided by the distraught dad, pursue all the leads to find Margot. One of the best movies I have seen this year. 4 cans.
112. The Proposal* (2009) – New York book publisher Margaret (Sandra Bullock) matches up with all of the stereotypes we have seen portrayed in movies about intelligent and powerful women. She is cold, unyielding and cunning and she treats everyone – especially her thoughtful and loyal assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) – with no appreciation and a healthy dose of disdain. But when Margaret, a Canadian, is threatened with deportation, she coerces Andrew into agreeing to say they are engaged so she can stay in the US and retain her position. Andrew isn’t quite the milquetoast he seems, bargaining for a promotion as he goes along with the scheme. Things get complicated when the two, in an attempt to fool the determined immigration agent, end up going to Alaska for the weekend to attend Andrew’s grandmother’s birthday party, and they have to pretend they are engaged. His family – who only knows Margaret through Andrew’s caustic references to her brow-beating of him as her assistant – is shocked that the pair are now a couple, but they welcome her into the family. Come on, now, we all know exactly where this is heading, and it would be a TV movie at best except for the warm and wonderful performances by the entire cast, including Betty White as Gammy and Craig T. Nelson and Mary Steenbergen as Andrew’s parents. This is not “Citizen Caine,” but it has substantial merits, and I really like Bullock and Reynolds. 3½ cans.
113. Step Up* (2006) – In the pantheon of post-Fred, Ginger and Gene dance movies, this film will inevitably be compared to the more modern “Saturday Night Fever” with John Travolta, “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze and “Footloose” with Kevin Bacon. All of them have the same basic plot: Bad boy meets good girl, they dance, they fall in love, something bad happens, dancing redeems them. Here Channing Tatum is a naturally talented hip-hop dancer assigned to community service at the arts high school he trashed, and while mopping floor and cleaning windows, he spots dancer Nora (Jenna Dewan) and “steps up” to be her partner in a dance showcase when her original partner is injured. They dance and become entranced, but there is no point in dwelling on the plot. This film modernizes the previous ones (granted, “Dirty Dancing” was set in the 1960s) with more current music and character types, and it largely pulls it off. Like Travolta and Swayze, Tatum is completely captivating on the dance floor, oversized clothes and all. This isn’t a great movie by any means, but it celebrates the exuberance and beauty of dance, and that’s enough for me. 3½ cans.
114. A Good Job: Stories of the FDNY* (2014) – I cannot begin to understand the strength, bravery and skill required to fight fires, especially in a turbulent, crowded city like New York. This documentary by actor Steve Buscemi (“Boardwalk Empire”), a former firefighter in NY, takes viewers behind the scenes with rare footage and revealing interviews with New York’s Bravest. Men and women, black, white and all ethnicities, these heroes tell why they joined the Fire Department and what the bonds they build really mean. What they do is so important, and you can’t help but admire them for doing it. 3½ cans.
115. Jane Fonda in Five Acts* (2017) – What actress has had more acts than Jane Fonda? From Henry’s daughter to his co-star (in “On Golden Pond”), from Vietnam War critic and social activist to the fitness icon responsible for an entire video industry, from “Barbarella” to “Coming Home” and from Oscar-winning actress to mogul Ted Turner’s trophy wife? In this HBO documentary Fonda reveals it all. She cops to being subservient to her various husbands and she regrets that picture of her in Hanoi that gave her the moniker “Hanoi Jane” and stirred the hatred of millions. But despite the controversies surrounding her life, she has turned out exceptional movies like “Klute,” “Coming Home,” – both Oscar-winning for her – and a few she used as vehicles to speak out about important issues, such as “The China Syndrome,” about a nuclear meltdown, and “9-5,” a call for equality in the workplace. Neglected by her mentally-ill mother (who committed suicide when Jane was 12) and her detached, emotionless father, Jane carries plenty of emotional baggage. I know there are people who still harbor resentment for her antiwar activism, but this is the same woman who fought for veterans and ran summer camps for kids at her home. And at 80, even Jane admits that she looks pretty damn good. Those Jane Fonda workout tapes had a long-lasting effect. 4 cans.
104. The Wife* (2018) – He is a renowned author who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills. He publicly professes his love for her. And then he hands her his coat to hold. Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage. There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.” Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife. Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough. Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography. Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly. I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film. 4 cans.
105. Slap Shot (1977) – What “Bull Durham” is to minor league baseball, “Slap Shot” is to minor league hockey – minus the rom-com aspects and with more comedy. This a raucous movie about the trials and tribulations of a minor league hockey team about to fold. Newman is Reg Dunlap, the aging player-coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, a horrible hockey team in a crappy league full of has-beens and never-weres. The team is headed to oblivion when management decides to bring back brawling, led by the bespectacled Hanson brothers. When the three brothers arrive on the scene (complete with their toys) and are let loose on the ice, mayhem ensues and the team succeeds. Ah, but enough to make them an attractive franchise for another town to purchase? Newman is terrific, skating enough to seem credible as a hockey player. Michael Ontkean is the brainy player who won’t fight, and Strother Martin, Newman’s nemesis in the great “Cool Hand Luke,” is the general manager of the hockey club. 4 cans for a lot of laughs and the great Maxine Nightingale song, “Get Right Back to Where You Started From.” And Newman.
106. The Captive* (2014) – This apparently little-known movie is an intriguing one. (I found it on Netflix but could not find information online about it because it shares its title with a 1959 film.) Ryan Reynolds is a desperate dad following the disappearance of his nearly 10-year-old daughter from his truck while he quickly ducked into a store to get her ice cream. Eight years pass, with police still on the case but gathering no clues. Who would have abducted her and why? Detectives Rosario Dawson and Scott Speedman have a theory and begin to eek out info and details, but they think the father may be involved. Meanwhile, on the marital front, the relationship is deteriorating since mom blames dad for leaving their daughter alone in the truck. There were times I was transfixed and other times that I thought this is never going to end. Never leave kids alone in the car is the message here. 3½ cans.
107. My Fair Lady (1964) – THIS is a musical. It has a book, lovely songs with memorable lyrics, plenty of dancing, and STARS – Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins and Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle. It is based on the classic Pygmalion story by George Bernard Shaw about a professor of linguistics who makes a bet with his colleague that he can take a lowly flower girl with a Cockney accent and make her into a lady. In today’s climate, I had to overlook the misogynistic tone and the Professor’s impervious manner, but it is a joy watching as Eliza transforms from a shrinking violet to a self-assured woman. You know the saying, “They don’t make them like that anymore?” Well, they don’t. I can understand the outrage of replacing Julie Andrews, who starred in the stage version, with Hepburn, a bigger star whose voice was dubbed, but the musical succeeds quite nicely, with credit to Harrison – who, ironically, speaks his numbers but does it so well that you don’t mind. Since I am going to see the revival at Lincoln Center, I thought I should brush up on my proper English first. 4 cans. PS – The stage version I saw at Lincoln Center was outstanding. I highly recommend it.
108. The Gift* (2015) – Joel Edgerton gave himself a gift with this suspenseful movie, serving as writer, director and a star. Gordo (Edgerton) and Simon (the always watchable Jason Bateman) are former high school classmates who meet as Simon and his wife move into town for his big promotion. Gordo seems nice enough, but there are shades of stalking in his repeated contacts with Simon and Robyn (Rebecca Hall) – showing up unannounced, bearing gifts so the young couple has to respond, etc. It seems Simon and Gordo were more than classmates, and Simon may not be the great guy he appears to be, making Robyn uncomfortable with her hubby as well as his strange friend. 3 cans.
109. The Group* (1966) – As someone who graduated from a women’s college, I thought this movie about a group of women from an unnamed but Ivy League-type college in 1933 would be more appealing. Instead, it is overwrought, badly acted, stilted and it reinforces men’s bad behavior (I’m not saying it is inaccurate, mind you). The story follows the young women as they leave college, meet and marry (or try to) men and establish careers. The eight characters are all relatively wealthy and privileged, but that does not translate into happiness in this soapy drama. The cast is a good one on paper (Candace Bergen, in her feature film debut, gets the least amount of screen time but her character’s name is mentioned most often), Jessica Walter, Joanna Pettit and a bunch of others who seem virtually interchangeable. Maybe it was more relevant when it was released in the mid-60s, but now it seems too melodramatic. One point in its favor is the strength of the bond between the women, which definitely resonates with me. 3 cans.
110. All the Money In the World* (2017) – This is the film notorious for editing out actor and accused sexual molester Kevin Spacey, who originally played billionaire J. Paul Getty, and replacing him with Christopher Plummer as the aging oil mogul whose 16-year old grandson Paul (Charlie Plummer) is kidnapped. You may remember the story, so I’ll skip the details. Getty refuses the pleas of Gail, his former daughter-in-law (Michelle Williams) to pay the $17 million ransom demanded by the kidnappers. Getty states publicly that if he were to pay, the bad guys would abduct all 17 of his grandchildren. The action goes between negotiations with Getty and Gail, aided by Getty advisor Fletcher Chase (Mark Wahlberg), who is clearly on the side of the distraught mother. Getty wants to find a way to pay less – if anything – and do it in a way that he can deduct it from his taxes. He is a stubborn old miser, collecting art and furnishing grand mansions while his family is nearly destitute. Meanwhile, the poor kid’s life hangs in the balance while the bad guys ramp up their threats of harming the teenager. Not a fun movie to watch, but kudos for excellent performances. 3½ cans.
111. Searching* (2018) – Too many people live their lives online these days, where everything you do or say can be consumed by friends or enemies. John Cho is David Kim, whose relationship with his 16-year-old daughter Margot (Michelle La) is largely conducted online, even though they live in the same house. They text, Facetime, send emails and do everything except actually sit and talk, for the most part. So, when she goes missing one day and he is asked by Detective Vick (Debra Messing in a rare dramatic role) for names of her friends and for her activities, David is at a loss. He turns to the computer for clues, and most of the movie is shown on a screen, with Facetime, videocalls and lots of clicking on the keyboard as he constructs a life for his daughter that he knew nothing about. The movie has plenty of intrigue as the detectives, aided by the distraught dad, pursue all the leads to find Margot. One of the best movies I have seen this year. 4 cans.
112. The Proposal* (2009) – New York book publisher Margaret (Sandra Bullock) matches up with all of the stereotypes we have seen portrayed in movies about intelligent and powerful women. She is cold, unyielding and cunning and she treats everyone – especially her thoughtful and loyal assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) – with no appreciation and a healthy dose of disdain. But when Margaret, a Canadian, is threatened with deportation, she coerces Andrew into agreeing to say they are engaged so she can stay in the US and retain her position. Andrew isn’t quite the milquetoast he seems, bargaining for a promotion as he goes along with the scheme. Things get complicated when the two, in an attempt to fool the determined immigration agent, end up going to Alaska for the weekend to attend Andrew’s grandmother’s birthday party, and they have to pretend they are engaged. His family – who only knows Margaret through Andrew’s caustic references to her brow-beating of him as her assistant – is shocked that the pair are now a couple, but they welcome her into the family. Come on, now, we all know exactly where this is heading, and it would be a TV movie at best except for the warm and wonderful performances by the entire cast, including Betty White as Gammy and Craig T. Nelson and Mary Steenbergen as Andrew’s parents. This is not “Citizen Caine,” but it has substantial merits, and I really like Bullock and Reynolds. 3½ cans.
113. Step Up* (2006) – In the pantheon of post-Fred, Ginger and Gene dance movies, this film will inevitably be compared to the more modern “Saturday Night Fever” with John Travolta, “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze and “Footloose” with Kevin Bacon. All of them have the same basic plot: Bad boy meets good girl, they dance, they fall in love, something bad happens, dancing redeems them. Here Channing Tatum is a naturally talented hip-hop dancer assigned to community service at the arts high school he trashed, and while mopping floor and cleaning windows, he spots dancer Nora (Jenna Dewan) and “steps up” to be her partner in a dance showcase when her original partner is injured. They dance and become entranced, but there is no point in dwelling on the plot. This film modernizes the previous ones (granted, “Dirty Dancing” was set in the 1960s) with more current music and character types, and it largely pulls it off. Like Travolta and Swayze, Tatum is completely captivating on the dance floor, oversized clothes and all. This isn’t a great movie by any means, but it celebrates the exuberance and beauty of dance, and that’s enough for me. 3½ cans.
114. A Good Job: Stories of the FDNY* (2014) – I cannot begin to understand the strength, bravery and skill required to fight fires, especially in a turbulent, crowded city like New York. This documentary by actor Steve Buscemi (“Boardwalk Empire”), a former firefighter in NY, takes viewers behind the scenes with rare footage and revealing interviews with New York’s Bravest. Men and women, black, white and all ethnicities, these heroes tell why they joined the Fire Department and what the bonds they build really mean. What they do is so important, and you can’t help but admire them for doing it. 3½ cans.
115. Jane Fonda in Five Acts* (2017) – What actress has had more acts than Jane Fonda? From Henry’s daughter to his co-star (in “On Golden Pond”), from Vietnam War critic and social activist to the fitness icon responsible for an entire video industry, from “Barbarella” to “Coming Home” and from Oscar-winning actress to mogul Ted Turner’s trophy wife? In this HBO documentary Fonda reveals it all. She cops to being subservient to her various husbands and she regrets that picture of her in Hanoi that gave her the moniker “Hanoi Jane” and stirred the hatred of millions. But despite the controversies surrounding her life, she has turned out exceptional movies like “Klute,” “Coming Home,” – both Oscar-winning for her – and a few she used as vehicles to speak out about important issues, such as “The China Syndrome,” about a nuclear meltdown, and “9-5,” a call for equality in the workplace. Neglected by her mentally-ill mother (who committed suicide when Jane was 12) and her detached, emotionless father, Jane carries plenty of emotional baggage. I know there are people who still harbor resentment for her antiwar activism, but this is the same woman who fought for veterans and ran summer camps for kids at her home. And at 80, even Jane admits that she looks pretty damn good. Those Jane Fonda workout tapes had a long-lasting effect. 4 cans.
Saturday, September 15, 2018
Thinking Out Loud
You know what jobs do well in any economy? Sign makers and printers. How many different names has your bank had? The local hospital? Somebody has to design these new logos and have the signs and advertising material done. The banks alone could keep them in business.
These days, it seems you cannot just go to the doctor. They force you to go online and complete questionnaires, confirm appointments and view test results. And yet, when you arrive for the confirmed appointment, having listed all of your current medications and ailments, they ask you anyway. Who is looking at all of this stuff? Is anyone looking? I recently had a colonoscopy, and I had to email a photo of the results from my last trip to the bathroom (I’m trying to say this delicately) to the surgical center prior to my arrival. First of all, it turned out NOT to be my last trip, but who knew that would happen? And who looked at it? No one said, “Hey, thanks for the pictures from your recent visit. Everything came out so clear!” If you are having a bad day at work, remember, your job may feel shitty sometimes, but at least you don’t have to look at other people’s pictures of actual…You get the idea.
Truth: Once you remove something from the box, you will NEVER get it back in the box the same way again.
Everything lasts forever if you don’t use it. Conversely, nothing works the way it is supposed to if you don’t use it. Take skin cream, for example. My hands get cracked and dry, so the dermatologist told me to apply it right after I wash my hands. But since I fail to follow those instructions religiously, my hands will remain dry and the samples she gave me will last forever.
Bananas have strings. Corn has strings (silks). Both are oblong. Coincidence? Related? Discuss.
I live in fear that I will mix up the Aspercreme for my sore back with my toothpaste. That would be an interesting experience.
Do you walk into a room or open a drawer and HOPE you remember why? Sure you do!
I keep seeing Tom Selleck in commercials for reverse mortgages. His eyebrows are so dark and big that they distract me from what he is saying. All I can think of is Groucho Marx.
Here’s something I just learned: The inspection station (here in New Jersey) just checks your emissions these days. No more watching anxiously while they slam on your brakes; no more checking your headlights and brights. Not that I miss the long wait and time spent there, but I have to admit that previously I felt a little safer knowing these things were being checked. The upside is that I was in and out in about five minutes. And I passed.
I love technology, but this 3D printing thing has me totally confused. People are designing and printing everything from body parts to guns to houses! I keep thinking of paper mache, something that will fall apart if it gets wet. I guess my regular HP printer won’t do the job. If you are printing a gun, do you also print the bullets? Today I saw a spine being created via 3D. All I know is that if I started printing something, I would either run out of paper or I would get a message that my printer cartridge was getting low and I should replace it with genuine HP parts!
Because I was up, showered and dressed at 7 AM on the day my new file cabinet was to be delivered, and because I cancelled all of my plans to stay home for the delivery, and because I stayed in my office all day so I could keep an eye out for the delivery truck pulling into the driveway, nothing was delivered. When I finally got the tracking information and called, I was told I would have to “make an appointment” for the delivery. My response was, “And when were you going to let me know that?” So, on the appointed day, I was up and dressed at 7 AM and watching the driveway to see if the delivery that was scheduled between 7 AM and 1 PM actually happened. You KNOW that if I went out for 10 minutes, even to the back yard, the truck would pull up and then disappear forever. In the words of the late, great Sylvia Gordon, “I spend half my life waiting for these people to show up.” OK, not exactly half, but you know what we mean! PS – It arrived, all 100+ pounds of it, dropped in the middle of my office for me to unwrap and put in place – with my sore, aching back. Done. When I am determined to do something, there is no stopping me.
A recent episode of the TV show “Younger” was sponsored in part by AARP. Am I the right demographic? I guess so.
The importance of having a compelling title and good cover art for a book is probably more critical now than ever. So many people (including me) now buy their books online (thank you, Amazon) rather than go to a physical bookstore where they can pick up the book and read the jacket synopsis. Online merchandising means the publisher has to come up with something that grabs your attention or you will scroll right by it. The problem with reading a book on my Kindle is that I forget the name of what I am reading. With a printed book, you have the title in front of you at all times, but reading on the Kindle sometimes forces me to go to the home screen to remind me of what I am reading. Or, it could just be that I am getting old(er) and more forgetful.
I would have much more time to read if I didn’t have to keep up with the book recommendations sent to me every damn day by Book Bub.
When it comes to Weight Watchers, when I’m good I am very, very good, but when I’m bad, it better not be on the day before the weigh-in.
Unless you are going into a field that requires extensive knowledge of math, here’s all you really need to know: How to calculate the tip on the dinner bill and divide among all of your friends (which you can do on your phone); how much 25% off is at a Macy’s One Day Sale; how ShopRite figures I saved $16.72 when I didn’t even use a coupon; and how much Kohl’s owes YOU when you buy something on clearance, on sale and you have the 30% off coupon. I know people who have walked out the door with money after buying things on sale. That’s pretty much it for your math needs.
My scale recently just decided to display my weight in kilograms, which I must admit is a much friendlier number than its equivalent in pounds. I found the switch and changed it back. Reluctantly.
I have to question the productivity in the workplace these days when I see so much online activity by people who I know have jobs…
I don’t mind going to the dermatologist. First, thankfully, I have had no skin cancer or other skin issues that needed more care than applying moisturizer. Second, she’s the only doctor who doesn’t make me get on the scale. And finally, she tells me my skin is really good. It never seems that way to me, but she IS the professional here, so I bow to her opinion.
I’m starting to feel like my own personal Help Desk. Last week I set up my new computer and transferred my files all by myself. Then I found a program that shreds files and installed it on my oldest computer, wiped out most of the programs and finally was able to remove the hard drive after many unsuccessful attempts. I also managed to extricate the CPU, rendering the old computer useless. And just to be sure, I smashed the hard drive and CPU with a hammer. Of course, I realize that a 10-year-old could reassemble in minutes what it took me hours to accomplish. But I am proud that I could handle my own technology issues.
One more computer thing: One of my requirements for this new computer was that it had to have a 17” touch screen. Wow, was THAT the right choice! I can enlarge the screen in any application, which makes it so much easier on my eyes. No more squinting to read my email!
There is a day coming in my future that I have dreaded for years. I know it is inevitable, but I won’t be relieved when it gets here. I’ll just resign myself to it. It is the day when I come to grips with a jar that I cannot open. I don’t give up easily. I have gadgets, grit, determination – and less hand strength than I used to have. There’s no one here to ask for help, so I will battle to prevail over the jar. But I know that day is coming, and I’m not happy about it.
Try to be the highlight of somebody’s day.
These days, it seems you cannot just go to the doctor. They force you to go online and complete questionnaires, confirm appointments and view test results. And yet, when you arrive for the confirmed appointment, having listed all of your current medications and ailments, they ask you anyway. Who is looking at all of this stuff? Is anyone looking? I recently had a colonoscopy, and I had to email a photo of the results from my last trip to the bathroom (I’m trying to say this delicately) to the surgical center prior to my arrival. First of all, it turned out NOT to be my last trip, but who knew that would happen? And who looked at it? No one said, “Hey, thanks for the pictures from your recent visit. Everything came out so clear!” If you are having a bad day at work, remember, your job may feel shitty sometimes, but at least you don’t have to look at other people’s pictures of actual…You get the idea.
Truth: Once you remove something from the box, you will NEVER get it back in the box the same way again.
Everything lasts forever if you don’t use it. Conversely, nothing works the way it is supposed to if you don’t use it. Take skin cream, for example. My hands get cracked and dry, so the dermatologist told me to apply it right after I wash my hands. But since I fail to follow those instructions religiously, my hands will remain dry and the samples she gave me will last forever.
Bananas have strings. Corn has strings (silks). Both are oblong. Coincidence? Related? Discuss.
I live in fear that I will mix up the Aspercreme for my sore back with my toothpaste. That would be an interesting experience.
Do you walk into a room or open a drawer and HOPE you remember why? Sure you do!
I keep seeing Tom Selleck in commercials for reverse mortgages. His eyebrows are so dark and big that they distract me from what he is saying. All I can think of is Groucho Marx.
Here’s something I just learned: The inspection station (here in New Jersey) just checks your emissions these days. No more watching anxiously while they slam on your brakes; no more checking your headlights and brights. Not that I miss the long wait and time spent there, but I have to admit that previously I felt a little safer knowing these things were being checked. The upside is that I was in and out in about five minutes. And I passed.
I love technology, but this 3D printing thing has me totally confused. People are designing and printing everything from body parts to guns to houses! I keep thinking of paper mache, something that will fall apart if it gets wet. I guess my regular HP printer won’t do the job. If you are printing a gun, do you also print the bullets? Today I saw a spine being created via 3D. All I know is that if I started printing something, I would either run out of paper or I would get a message that my printer cartridge was getting low and I should replace it with genuine HP parts!
Because I was up, showered and dressed at 7 AM on the day my new file cabinet was to be delivered, and because I cancelled all of my plans to stay home for the delivery, and because I stayed in my office all day so I could keep an eye out for the delivery truck pulling into the driveway, nothing was delivered. When I finally got the tracking information and called, I was told I would have to “make an appointment” for the delivery. My response was, “And when were you going to let me know that?” So, on the appointed day, I was up and dressed at 7 AM and watching the driveway to see if the delivery that was scheduled between 7 AM and 1 PM actually happened. You KNOW that if I went out for 10 minutes, even to the back yard, the truck would pull up and then disappear forever. In the words of the late, great Sylvia Gordon, “I spend half my life waiting for these people to show up.” OK, not exactly half, but you know what we mean! PS – It arrived, all 100+ pounds of it, dropped in the middle of my office for me to unwrap and put in place – with my sore, aching back. Done. When I am determined to do something, there is no stopping me.
A recent episode of the TV show “Younger” was sponsored in part by AARP. Am I the right demographic? I guess so.
The importance of having a compelling title and good cover art for a book is probably more critical now than ever. So many people (including me) now buy their books online (thank you, Amazon) rather than go to a physical bookstore where they can pick up the book and read the jacket synopsis. Online merchandising means the publisher has to come up with something that grabs your attention or you will scroll right by it. The problem with reading a book on my Kindle is that I forget the name of what I am reading. With a printed book, you have the title in front of you at all times, but reading on the Kindle sometimes forces me to go to the home screen to remind me of what I am reading. Or, it could just be that I am getting old(er) and more forgetful.
I would have much more time to read if I didn’t have to keep up with the book recommendations sent to me every damn day by Book Bub.
When it comes to Weight Watchers, when I’m good I am very, very good, but when I’m bad, it better not be on the day before the weigh-in.
Unless you are going into a field that requires extensive knowledge of math, here’s all you really need to know: How to calculate the tip on the dinner bill and divide among all of your friends (which you can do on your phone); how much 25% off is at a Macy’s One Day Sale; how ShopRite figures I saved $16.72 when I didn’t even use a coupon; and how much Kohl’s owes YOU when you buy something on clearance, on sale and you have the 30% off coupon. I know people who have walked out the door with money after buying things on sale. That’s pretty much it for your math needs.
My scale recently just decided to display my weight in kilograms, which I must admit is a much friendlier number than its equivalent in pounds. I found the switch and changed it back. Reluctantly.
I have to question the productivity in the workplace these days when I see so much online activity by people who I know have jobs…
I don’t mind going to the dermatologist. First, thankfully, I have had no skin cancer or other skin issues that needed more care than applying moisturizer. Second, she’s the only doctor who doesn’t make me get on the scale. And finally, she tells me my skin is really good. It never seems that way to me, but she IS the professional here, so I bow to her opinion.
I’m starting to feel like my own personal Help Desk. Last week I set up my new computer and transferred my files all by myself. Then I found a program that shreds files and installed it on my oldest computer, wiped out most of the programs and finally was able to remove the hard drive after many unsuccessful attempts. I also managed to extricate the CPU, rendering the old computer useless. And just to be sure, I smashed the hard drive and CPU with a hammer. Of course, I realize that a 10-year-old could reassemble in minutes what it took me hours to accomplish. But I am proud that I could handle my own technology issues.
One more computer thing: One of my requirements for this new computer was that it had to have a 17” touch screen. Wow, was THAT the right choice! I can enlarge the screen in any application, which makes it so much easier on my eyes. No more squinting to read my email!
There is a day coming in my future that I have dreaded for years. I know it is inevitable, but I won’t be relieved when it gets here. I’ll just resign myself to it. It is the day when I come to grips with a jar that I cannot open. I don’t give up easily. I have gadgets, grit, determination – and less hand strength than I used to have. There’s no one here to ask for help, so I will battle to prevail over the jar. But I know that day is coming, and I’m not happy about it.
Try to be the highlight of somebody’s day.
Saturday, September 1, 2018
Tina's August 2018 Movies
This month just 10 movies made the cut, but that total makes me exceed 100 for the year with four months left. Movies marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously, and all movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top rating. Numbering picks up from previous months.
94. Murder by Numbers* (2002) – With a cast headed by Sandra Bullock and Ryan Gosling, this movie had my expectations high, but it didn’t fulfill its promise. Bullock plays an outwardly tough police detective with a new partner (Ben Chaplin) assigned to solve the case of a murdered woman. While the evidence neatly leads to a school janitor who conveniently shoots himself, Bullock is convinced that two high school students are involved in the crime. Gosling is a wiseass rich kid and Michael Pitt is a loner who falls under his charmed spell. But did they do it? How did they do it and why did they do it, and can the detectives’ meticulous search for clues pin it on two kids? I didn’t much like Bullock’s character, and while Gosling is always a personal favorite, he isn’t very captivating this time around. 2½ cans.
95. Like Father* (2018) – This lightweight Netflix movie features two appealing performers (Kelsey Grammer and Kristen Bell) trapped in a contrived, formulaic comedy that is neither funny nor worthy of viewing. He is the father who abandoned her as a child. With perfect timing, he shows up after 20-something years to attend her wedding – where the groom abandons her at the altar when she has her omnipresent cell phone hidden within her bouquet. Father and daughter somehow decide, after a drunken night, to go on her honeymoon together, where they encounter every cliché character possible and proceed to have madcap adventures and hijinks. I just saved you about 90 minutes, because you know she will become less uptight and he will become a better father. You’re welcome. 2 cans.
96. Mr. Mom (1983) – Jack Butler (Michael Keaton) loses his automotive engineer position and his wife Carolyn (the always reliable Teri Garr) goes to work to support the family with a job in advertising under the supervision of Ron Richardson (the always perfectly smarmy Martin Mull). Jack thinks he can handle the household and the three children, but between leaving calls for “clean-up in aisle 3” all over the supermarket, going the wrong way to drop the kids off, and trying to master the vacuum cleaner nicknamed “Jaws,” he proves not only how utterly inept he is around the house, but how challenging it is to manage a household and children. Granted, this is not exactly a classic comedy, but the affable Keaton is perfect as the befuddled dad who morphs into, well, Mr. Mom. The scene with Jack and the neighborhood moms playing cards and using coupons as cash is one of many that made me laugh out loud. 3½ cans.
97. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society* (2018) – This movie is about a book club, but it is not like any book club YOU are in. First, it is co-ed, which happens to have a few advantages over the usual, single-gender variety. And second, it features four actors straight out of my beloved “Downton Abbey.” Lily James is author Juliet Ashton, who corresponds with members of the GLPPPS and decides she must meet them. The action takes place just after WWII, and the members of the club can recount their experiences during the war, when Guernsey was under Nazi rule. This is an engaging story, filled with warmth, as the group becomes a family. Also starring Downton Abbey faves Matthew Goode (in a brief part), Jessica Brown Findlay and Penelope Wilton. It is based on a book, so you might want to stay true to its original purpose and read it instead of watching it, but then you’d miss the loveliness of the location and the talents of the actors. 3½ cans.
98. Puzzle* (2018) – Poor Agnes (Kelly McDonald) leads a dull and unstimulating life, serving as housewife and mother and practically handmaiden to her tone-deaf husband (David Denman) and two nearly grown sons. In the beginning of the movie, she is setting up for a birthday party, serving the food and putting candles on a birthday cake that turns out to be hers. One of the gifts she receives is a jigsaw puzzle, and when she finally takes time for herself to give it a try, she gets through it with blinding speed. Soon she is out at a puzzle store, embracing her new interest and contacting a man (Irfan Khan) who is looking for a puzzle partner with whom he can enter a puzzle competition. Agnes comes more alive, taking trips into New York, forgetting about church meetings and failing to show up on time to feed her wary brood and instead showing her amazing gift for puzzles to a stranger. This is an interesting story about a woman who needs order, who needs the pieces of her life to come together, but who uncharacteristically strays from her routines and broadens her views. If you’re looking for action, adventure or laughs, you can skip this one. But sometimes I like to see a quiet little story about how people live their lives and how something so unexpected comes along to change them. 3½ cans.
99. As Good As It Gets (1997) – Jack Nicholson is Melvin, a feisty, obsessive-compulsive man who people try to avoid. His routine consists of a daily trip to the local restaurant (which he gets to by assiduously avoiding stepping on any cracks in the sidewalk) where only Carol (Helen Hunt) will agree to serve him. He is a bully and a bigot – but you know that he will not end the movie the way he starts it. When he is stuck caring for the dog of his gay neighbor Simon (Greg Kinnear), he actually shows a break in his armor by liking the dog, though he belittles Simon at every possible chance. That, too, will change. Nicholson is at his best as a blustery bigot, and Hunt’s single mother of a sick child helps to inject a more humane approach in Melvin. Sometimes you have to check your situation and wonder about your own life, “Is this as good as it gets?” 4 cans.
100. The Remains of the Day (1993) – Each time I see this masterpiece, I find something new in the story of an unspoken, unrequited love story between a butler and a housekeeper serving a large English estate. Mr. Stevens (Anthony Hopkins) is the always-proper butler and major domo of the household, loyal to his master and able to manage the staff and the household with alacrity. For someone always so present, he can practically make himself invisible. He dares not take in the discussions between the German-sympathizing lord of the manor and his would-be diplomatic friends that take place between the two World Wars, lest he be distracted from his duties. Not even the death of his father, a man formerly of his position but now resigned to mops and brooms in the household, can take him away from serving. His counterpoint is Miss Kenton (the wonderful Emma Thompson), who serves by his side for many years, always calling him Mr. Stevens and answering to his Miss Kenton. Will these two people acknowledge that their relationship is more than butler and head housekeeper? Can they express their feelings when given an opportunity? If you are a Downton Abbey fan, you will love this look at the downstairs folks that shows their dedication as well as their sacrifice of self to the duties of service. 5 cans.
101. Running Scared (1986) – Ray and Danny (Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal) are two Chicago undercover detectives charged with apprehending drug kingpin Julio Gonzalez (Jimmy Smits). They are best friends and running buddies, unconventional in their approach to police work, wise-cracking and nearly fearless. The story here matters less than the chemistry between the two men and the action, with plenty of car chases, including a race along Chicago’s L train, and a shootout in the State Building. Hines and Crystal have magic between them, which makes this buddy movie worth seeing. If you want to see a couple of guys on the run in a much funnier movie, check out “Midnight Run.” 3 cans.
102. The Last Movie Star* (2018) – Burt Reynolds plays Vic Edwards, fading former Hollywood star, who accepts an invitation to be honored at the Nashville Film Festival. Little does he know that the festival is nothing more than a Vic Edwards Fan Club meeting of a small but loyal group of mostly men in their 20s who adore the star and his somewhat campy movies. Vic is put out, but he uses the opportunity to walk – slowly – down memory lane, accompanied by the young woman (Ariel Winter) assigned to pick him up at the airport and drive him around. This is a poignant story of a man who recognizes exactly where he is on the career path, who but can’t help looking back on what once was. The producers managed to work in scenes from his actual movies, sometimes keeping the virile superstar walking with the present-day model, even showing off that infamous Playboy centerfold of Reynolds at his peak of popularity. Wow, I guess we have all gotten old. I found this on Amazon Prime (free to members). 3 cans.
103. All the Queen’s Horses* (2015) – The most famous citizen of Dixon, Illinois, was President Ronald Reagan. And then Rita Crundwell came along. As a finance person in the city administration, Rita was responsible for paying bills, keeping accounts and practically every financial matter for Dixon. Renowned as a horsewoman who owned many expensive, prize-winning quarter horses, Rita was well known to the townspeople. But she became truly infamous when it was discovered in 2011 that she had embezzled $57 million from the town’s coffers over 20 years, enabling her to purchase real estate, take vacations and live the good life on the salary of a municipal worker. I couldn’t help but wonder what the town budget was if no one noticed the disappearance of $57 million over time. How did she do it and how was she caught? It was remarkably simple to pull off: She simply created a phony account with phony invoices and transferred the money from the city accounts to her own. And no one questioned it. This story’s red flags are blinding, yet the auditors and the banks with whom the town did business picked them up. For more details, take a look at this documentary on Netflix. Maybe those televised town meetings on the local community channel are more interesting than I thought. 3 cans.
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Summer Silliness
If the bags under my eyes get any bigger, I will have to check them with my luggage when I travel because they won’t qualify as carry-ons.
Everyone who has ever lived in the Somerville area is familiar with the nightmare we call the Somerville Circle. So what idiot decided it would be a good idea to put a new QuickChek – complete with a gas station, not just a store – right between the entrance to the circle from 202 and the exit to 206 South? They might as well leave a patrol car and an ambulance in the parking lot, because with all the traffic in that area already, the last thing anyone needed is a business that is based on people pulling in and pulling out constantly. This is absolutely an accident (actually, many accidents) waiting to happen.
What is more frustrating than walking around Kohl’s with a 30% coupon in your pocket and not finding ANYTHING to buy?
I must toss and turn more in bed than I thought. This morning, by the time I got out of bed (after a few trips to the bathroom), I had already logged three-quarters of a mile on my Garmin Vivofit fitness tracker.
I recently subscribed to “Book Bub,” a service that sends me daily emails with recommendations of books I might like to read, based on categories that I select. The books are available digitally and they are inexpensive, so I can stock up and always have a “stack” of books on my Kindle. The problem is that the email announcing the books comes EVERY SINGLE DAY! Who can read that much? I might have MORE time to read if I had fewer of these messages to review every day. Books that look interesting are ones I may choose to download, but will I ever get around to reading them? I’m beginning to feel like Lucy in the candy factory episode when the supervisor tells production to “speed it up!”
What a pleasure it is to have a working computer again! My previous laptop was on Death Row for a long time. It would be randomly unable to connect to the Internet or disconnect itself from the Internet, refuse to give me the sign-on screen (which I would get rid of in a heartbeat if I could figure out how) and periodically freeze when I was in the middle of working on a Word doc. The new one turns on and gets right to work. I don’t ask for much in life, so if this is what makes me happy, so be it. I give myself props for doing the entire set-up and transferring over all my files all by myself. I’m not ready to be the Help Desk for anyone, but at least I didn’t have to pay the Geek Squad for doing something I could do on my own.
For the first time in 46 years, I had to go to a drugstore and pay retail for BAND-AID Brand Adhesive Bandages. My leftover stash from my 34 years at Johnson & Johnson finally diminished and the few remaining were so old that they still had strings! Believe me, it was traumatic. My colleagues with whom I shared this incident all suggested I go to the company store or order online, but neither the drive nor the shipping cost was worth it for a single box. Let’s see how many years it takes me to get through this new batch.
It’s not fair that we must carefully care for our gardens, feeding and watering the flowers and the vegetables – even talking to them – and yet weeds can spring up anywhere, like through cracks in the sidewalk or driveway or even among the bushes, and they remain strong and hearty without getting any water aside from what Mother Nature supplies
.
I’m sending a big thank you to the person who invented the stain stick. I always seem to drop meal remnants on my tops – even though I generally use a dishtowel to protect my clothes. A few swipes of the stain stick and the stain is gone. Shout out (get it?) to the inventor!
Why do I always pick the wrong checkout line? You know, the one with the person with 25 items in the 20-or-under line. Or the one with the person who buys 40 things and has 35 coupons. The one with the person who has to enter in his phone number because his card isn’t among the 50 things dangling from his keychain. Or the one where the register tape needs to be changed, or it is time for the cashier to go on break. ALWAYS.
And speaking of checkout lines, are there really that many people who buy beef jerky? There are all different types of beef jerky, and the product is often on display while you are waiting to check out so they can entice you into buying it. Am I the only person who has never eaten beef jerky and who cannot imagine even trying it?
Having an expiration date on a product – food or drug – would be even more helpful if you could actually find and read them. I have spent 10 minutes examining a jar of spaghetti sauce just to see if I could locate the expiration date. My jar of cocktail sauce features the expiration information in YELLOW type on the WHITE lid! On some products, the package is coded. If I am making dinner and want to use a can of whatever, how am I supposed to crack a code that is unintelligible? I would like to see packages that I don’t have to hold up to a light so I can read the date. And everything this side of paper napkins should be clearly coded. OK, rant over!
I was disturbed recently to see an unconscionable increase in the price of my beloved Bumble Bee Tuna (premium albacore in the 2.5 oz packet) from $1.69 to $1.99 each. Not that I am giving up tuna and not that I would EVER eat anything other than Bumble Bee. Just don’t tell the company, because I’ll be eating their tuna when it costs $5 a package. I didn’t grow up with the nickname “Tina Tuna” for nothing, you know.
The other day I actually cooked, after having taken some time off and relying on leftovers or eating out, etc. I don’t mind cooking, but when I am done, the kitchen looks like the victim of a home invasion. I practically have to repaint the room. And as for the suggestion that I clean up as I go, I had two pans going at the same time, so cleaning wasn’t on the schedule with all that cooking going on! Luckily, the house was thoroughly cleaned the next day, so it looks better than it did BEFORE the cooking began.
Let’s face it – pretty much ANYTHING tastes good when fried. I think I could put bread crumbs on a shoe, throw it into a pan of hot oil and it would be yummy. (Recipe not included.)
I’ve reached the age when half of my freezer is filled with ice packs. Ice packs for lunch bags, yes, but mostly ice packs for various body parts: One in a wrap that I can use when my knees ache, a small one with an elastic wrap I can use on my hands, and the latest addition, one that fits neatly over my eye to soothe it if it gets irritated from the monthly eye injections I get to combat macular degeneration. Ice, ice, baby!
On a similar topic, I have a bag of various boots and braces I have worn for aching Achilles tendon issues and plantar fasciitis. I also am the owner of several types of wrist braces for carpal tunnel. I feel like I own a medical supply company! This getting old is not for the weak.
I’m pretty sure the sound of my sneezes is different than it used to be. They sound more like my father’s sneezes, which were a very loud “CHA.” I also seem in general to be making more sounds that are reminiscent of my parents, such as when I get up off the couch, bend over or lift something. Let’s face it, this is the soundtrack of old age.
I recently had to load staples into my stapler. The box, which I have had for years, contains 5000 staples. That is a lot of staples, enough that I guess I will end up leaving them to someone in my will.
One of my many idiosyncrasies is the direction of my money. All bills must be facing the same way and must always be in ascending order. You don’t even get them from the bank this way anymore.
Kudos for whoever designed the nooks and crannies in an English muffin. A little blueberry preserves or melted butter hiding in those places makes the muffin experience so yummy!
I just stupidly subscribed to New Jersey magazine, which means I will no longer have anything to read at the doctor’s office beyond Diabetes Digest. And an offer to re-subscribe to Vanity Fair was too good to pass up (plus they threw in a Vanity Fair canvas tote bag, just in case I don’t have enough tote bags already). I stopped getting the magazine, which I really enjoy, because I found myself not getting around to reading the articles (the fashion part is lost on me). And here we go again. I guess I will just bring it with me when I go to the doctor!
The things you have to do take up the time in which you have to do them. Example – if you only have half a day to do all your errands, you will squeeze them in. If you have a full day, you may not accomplish more than you did with half the time, but you just do the same things more slowly (and maybe stop for some refreshments). True or false?
Everyone who has ever lived in the Somerville area is familiar with the nightmare we call the Somerville Circle. So what idiot decided it would be a good idea to put a new QuickChek – complete with a gas station, not just a store – right between the entrance to the circle from 202 and the exit to 206 South? They might as well leave a patrol car and an ambulance in the parking lot, because with all the traffic in that area already, the last thing anyone needed is a business that is based on people pulling in and pulling out constantly. This is absolutely an accident (actually, many accidents) waiting to happen.
What is more frustrating than walking around Kohl’s with a 30% coupon in your pocket and not finding ANYTHING to buy?
I must toss and turn more in bed than I thought. This morning, by the time I got out of bed (after a few trips to the bathroom), I had already logged three-quarters of a mile on my Garmin Vivofit fitness tracker.
I recently subscribed to “Book Bub,” a service that sends me daily emails with recommendations of books I might like to read, based on categories that I select. The books are available digitally and they are inexpensive, so I can stock up and always have a “stack” of books on my Kindle. The problem is that the email announcing the books comes EVERY SINGLE DAY! Who can read that much? I might have MORE time to read if I had fewer of these messages to review every day. Books that look interesting are ones I may choose to download, but will I ever get around to reading them? I’m beginning to feel like Lucy in the candy factory episode when the supervisor tells production to “speed it up!”
What a pleasure it is to have a working computer again! My previous laptop was on Death Row for a long time. It would be randomly unable to connect to the Internet or disconnect itself from the Internet, refuse to give me the sign-on screen (which I would get rid of in a heartbeat if I could figure out how) and periodically freeze when I was in the middle of working on a Word doc. The new one turns on and gets right to work. I don’t ask for much in life, so if this is what makes me happy, so be it. I give myself props for doing the entire set-up and transferring over all my files all by myself. I’m not ready to be the Help Desk for anyone, but at least I didn’t have to pay the Geek Squad for doing something I could do on my own.
For the first time in 46 years, I had to go to a drugstore and pay retail for BAND-AID Brand Adhesive Bandages. My leftover stash from my 34 years at Johnson & Johnson finally diminished and the few remaining were so old that they still had strings! Believe me, it was traumatic. My colleagues with whom I shared this incident all suggested I go to the company store or order online, but neither the drive nor the shipping cost was worth it for a single box. Let’s see how many years it takes me to get through this new batch.
It’s not fair that we must carefully care for our gardens, feeding and watering the flowers and the vegetables – even talking to them – and yet weeds can spring up anywhere, like through cracks in the sidewalk or driveway or even among the bushes, and they remain strong and hearty without getting any water aside from what Mother Nature supplies
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I’m sending a big thank you to the person who invented the stain stick. I always seem to drop meal remnants on my tops – even though I generally use a dishtowel to protect my clothes. A few swipes of the stain stick and the stain is gone. Shout out (get it?) to the inventor!
Why do I always pick the wrong checkout line? You know, the one with the person with 25 items in the 20-or-under line. Or the one with the person who buys 40 things and has 35 coupons. The one with the person who has to enter in his phone number because his card isn’t among the 50 things dangling from his keychain. Or the one where the register tape needs to be changed, or it is time for the cashier to go on break. ALWAYS.
And speaking of checkout lines, are there really that many people who buy beef jerky? There are all different types of beef jerky, and the product is often on display while you are waiting to check out so they can entice you into buying it. Am I the only person who has never eaten beef jerky and who cannot imagine even trying it?
Having an expiration date on a product – food or drug – would be even more helpful if you could actually find and read them. I have spent 10 minutes examining a jar of spaghetti sauce just to see if I could locate the expiration date. My jar of cocktail sauce features the expiration information in YELLOW type on the WHITE lid! On some products, the package is coded. If I am making dinner and want to use a can of whatever, how am I supposed to crack a code that is unintelligible? I would like to see packages that I don’t have to hold up to a light so I can read the date. And everything this side of paper napkins should be clearly coded. OK, rant over!
I was disturbed recently to see an unconscionable increase in the price of my beloved Bumble Bee Tuna (premium albacore in the 2.5 oz packet) from $1.69 to $1.99 each. Not that I am giving up tuna and not that I would EVER eat anything other than Bumble Bee. Just don’t tell the company, because I’ll be eating their tuna when it costs $5 a package. I didn’t grow up with the nickname “Tina Tuna” for nothing, you know.
The other day I actually cooked, after having taken some time off and relying on leftovers or eating out, etc. I don’t mind cooking, but when I am done, the kitchen looks like the victim of a home invasion. I practically have to repaint the room. And as for the suggestion that I clean up as I go, I had two pans going at the same time, so cleaning wasn’t on the schedule with all that cooking going on! Luckily, the house was thoroughly cleaned the next day, so it looks better than it did BEFORE the cooking began.
Let’s face it – pretty much ANYTHING tastes good when fried. I think I could put bread crumbs on a shoe, throw it into a pan of hot oil and it would be yummy. (Recipe not included.)
I’ve reached the age when half of my freezer is filled with ice packs. Ice packs for lunch bags, yes, but mostly ice packs for various body parts: One in a wrap that I can use when my knees ache, a small one with an elastic wrap I can use on my hands, and the latest addition, one that fits neatly over my eye to soothe it if it gets irritated from the monthly eye injections I get to combat macular degeneration. Ice, ice, baby!
On a similar topic, I have a bag of various boots and braces I have worn for aching Achilles tendon issues and plantar fasciitis. I also am the owner of several types of wrist braces for carpal tunnel. I feel like I own a medical supply company! This getting old is not for the weak.
I’m pretty sure the sound of my sneezes is different than it used to be. They sound more like my father’s sneezes, which were a very loud “CHA.” I also seem in general to be making more sounds that are reminiscent of my parents, such as when I get up off the couch, bend over or lift something. Let’s face it, this is the soundtrack of old age.
I recently had to load staples into my stapler. The box, which I have had for years, contains 5000 staples. That is a lot of staples, enough that I guess I will end up leaving them to someone in my will.
One of my many idiosyncrasies is the direction of my money. All bills must be facing the same way and must always be in ascending order. You don’t even get them from the bank this way anymore.
Kudos for whoever designed the nooks and crannies in an English muffin. A little blueberry preserves or melted butter hiding in those places makes the muffin experience so yummy!
I just stupidly subscribed to New Jersey magazine, which means I will no longer have anything to read at the doctor’s office beyond Diabetes Digest. And an offer to re-subscribe to Vanity Fair was too good to pass up (plus they threw in a Vanity Fair canvas tote bag, just in case I don’t have enough tote bags already). I stopped getting the magazine, which I really enjoy, because I found myself not getting around to reading the articles (the fashion part is lost on me). And here we go again. I guess I will just bring it with me when I go to the doctor!
The things you have to do take up the time in which you have to do them. Example – if you only have half a day to do all your errands, you will squeeze them in. If you have a full day, you may not accomplish more than you did with half the time, but you just do the same things more slowly (and maybe stop for some refreshments). True or false?
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