Tina's April 2017 Movies

This month's movies included a few "doubleheaders" and one of my  all-time favorites.  All movies are rated from a low of 1 tuna can to a high of 5, and movies not seen previously are marked with an *astersik.  Numbering picks up from the previous month.

37.  Newtown* (2017) – This devastating documentary aired on PBS’ Independent Lens series.  It recounts the grim story of the school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, in 2012, where 20 innocent 6-7 year old children were killed along with 6 adults – including teachers and the mother of the deranged shooter.  Much of the film focuses on the parents of just a few of the children.  The shared not only their memories of the loves they lost but also their hopes to ban assault weapons from private use.  Why anyone needs an assault weapon is not within my realm to understand.  I find it ironic, however, that under the current administration, the new secretary of Education thinks that weapons should be allowed in schools in case of an attack by a bear.  Let’s count the 26 lives lost on that fateful day and compare that number to all of the lives ever lost to an incident in a school caused by a bear.  This tragedy should NEVER be forgotten or repeated.  Those poor kids and teachers died for no reason, and others will, too, until we come to our senses in this country and enact real gun control.  And bear in mind that once funding for public television disappears, you won’t find programs like this one available again.  26 cans, one for each victim of this horrifying tragedy.

38.  Casey Anthony: An American Murder Mystery* (2017) – The only real mystery in this documentary miniseries is why Casey Anthony was not convicted of killing her two-year-old daughter, Kaylee.  Back in 2008, the young Florida mother admitted that her daughter had been missing for 30-days but insisted she was abducted by her nanny.  She proceeded to lead the authorities down countless blind alleys while her parents and the rest of the country sat back amazed by her audacity and prayed for Kaylee’s return.  You might remember the details – the abandoned car with the stench of a dead body coming from the trunk, the images of Casey partying while no one knew her daughter was missing, her computer searches for chloroform, courthouse visits between Casey and her parents – all recorded and played out on national TV (thank you, Nancy Grace).  All this and more details turn up in this examination, and all of the evidence points straight to Casey, portrayed as a young, pathological liar who must be the murderer.  But the one smart thing she did was hire an attorney who deflected the attention everywhere else.  In the end, Casey apparently got away with murder.  But while she is not in an actual prison, the erstwhile “Tot Mom” will never escape the notoriety and disdain of the American public.  Truth is stranger than fiction.  4 cans.

39.  The Wedding Singer (1998) – I’m not much of an Adam Sandler fan, but this lighthearted story about Robby (Sandler), a wedding singer who falls for Julia, a waitress (Drew Barrymore), even though she is engaged to another guy – a creepy womanizer (Matthew Glave) -- is sweet in its simplicity.  Robby is engaged, too, but he is left at the altar by his fiancée and becomes friends with Julia and helps her with her wedding plans.  Of course they fall in love, but she’s engaged, he’s honorable, and what happens is as unlikely as it is predictable.  And I was charmed anyway.  3 cans.

40.  Bull Durham and 41.  For Love of the Game (1999) – As baseball season arrives, what better doubleheader to see than two Kevin Costner movies about life on and off the diamond?  In Bull Durham, Kevin plays Crash Davis, a career minor-league catcher whose highlight was a brief “cup of coffee” in the Major Leagues – or, as he calls it, “the show.”  Crash is signed by the Bulls mainly to tutor young pitching phenom Calvin “Nuke” Laloosh, a kid with plenty of potential but who doesn’t understand or respect the game the way Crash does.  His tutoring extends beyond the mound to Nuke’s budding relationship with baseball groupie Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), who has reached home plate with many a ball player in her time.  She finds Crash appealing, he finds her intriguing, but she has committed her summer of love to studly young Nuke.  This wonderful, funny movie captures minor league life on the road, the platitudes of baseball, the camaraderie of the clubhouse, and the difference between a relationship with a boy and with a man.  In For Love of the Game, Costner is Billy Chapel, 40-year old renowned pitcher for the Detroit Tigers, a future Hall of Famer who is still performing well on the field but facing a future without baseball.  The Tigers are in New York to play the Yankees often enough for Billy to meet and court Jane (Kelly Preston), a writer with a teenaged daughter.  Most of the action takes place off the field, focusing on the relationship between Billy and Jane, until Billy has the unique chance of pitching a perfect game.  And what good is fame and fortunate when there is no one beside you to enjoy it?  Bull gets 4 baseballs and Love gets 3½.  Bring on “Field of Dreams!”

42.  Gifted* (2017) – I get all the various actors named Chris confused – Chris Pine, Chris Pratt, Chris Evans – and I do like them all.  Here, Chris Evans is Frank Adler, the uncle/caregiver of an enormously bright little girl, the daughter of his late sister.  Little Mary (McKenna Grace, the owner of the longest eyelashes this side of Christine from “Flip or Flop”) is 7 and has never gone to school, having been taught by her uncle.  But he wants Mary to be a real kid, to make friends and to do what other kids do, so he enrolls her in the local elementary school.  Bored by the simple math problems her teacher gives the class (“How much is one and one?”), she immediately dazzles Ms. Stevenson by calculating a tough multiplication problem in her head – and adding the square root.  What 7-year old can do this?  Mary is offered a spot at a prestigious school for advanced students, but neither she nor Frank wants her to go.  Frank’s British mother, Evelyn (Lindsay Duncan), herself an accomplished mathematician, disagrees and sues for custody.  I won’t reveal the case, but the central themes are the strong bond between Frank and Mary (and her one-eyed cat, Fred) and the concern of everyone: What’s best for this brilliant little girl?  Octavia Spencer has a small part as the landlady in Frank’s community who doubles as a friend/mother figure to Mary.  The movie is predictable in parts but full of love and very touching.  3½ cans.

43.  The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks* (2017) -- Oprah Winfrey produced and stars in this screen version of the best-selling book by Rebecca Skloot (Rose Byrne) about Henrietta Lacks, a woman whose cancer cells were harvested and used without her knowledge or permission (she wasn’t asked).  Winfrey plays Debra, Henrietta’s daughter, a woman desperate to know more about her mother who agrees to help Skloot uncover the mystery behind her mother’s cells.  A poor woman, Henrietta is treated for cervical cancer at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore in 1951.  All we glean from the movie version of the much more detailed book is that Henrietta died, but her cells lived on and helped medical researchers in their work on a variety of diseases.  Debra, who seems to suffer from some form of mental illness, sometimes reluctantly and sometimes enthusiastically works with “her reporter” – as she refers to Skloot – to find out what really happened.  There is a good deal of resentment by the family for not being informed about her mother’s cells or medical records.  This movie, while interesting, is not nearly as engrossing as the book.  I never thought I’d hear myself saying that I needed more science, but that’s what the book provided that the movie lacks – so to speak.  Oprah does a credible job in her role, but she is so much larger than life that it is difficult to separate the celebrity from the actress.  Byrne brings a little too much enthusiasm to the part.  I loved the book –which spent years on the best-seller list – and I like the movie.  3½ cells.

44.  Castaway (2000) – What can I say about this movie that I haven’t said before?  There are vast periods of utter silence, as Chuck Noland (the redoubtable Tom Hanks) finds a way to survive alone on an island after drifting ashore following the crash of his FedEx plane.  Chuck leaves behind his beloved girlfriend Kelly (Helen Hunt) to take the ill-fated flight, with just her picture in an heirloom locket giving him strength to survive.  His only company is Wilson, a volleyball that becomes his BFF.  But the part I love the most is that he does survive and he gets to see Kelly again, and she tells him, “You are the love of my life.”  The lump in my throat is bigger than Wilson the volleyball.  The only other thing I’d say is never to travel with Tom Hanks.  “Castaway,” “Apollo 13,” “Sully” and “Captain Phillips” prove that he could be dangerous to your health.  5 cans.

45.   Hello Dolly (1969) – Budding superstar Barbra Streisand was just 25 when she was tapped for the title role in the movie adaptation of the Broadway musical made famous by Carol Channing’s iconic performance.  Let’s face it – this is NOT a great movie.  There is a lot of slapstick silliness, and we are induced to believe some sort of romance between Streisand’s Dolly Levi, matchmaker extraordinaire and young widow, and the much older and completely irascible Horace Vandergelder, played by Walter Matthau with more than a tad of reluctance.  Presumably he cheered up when the check cleared.  The story is simple: She’s a matchmaker, looking for a wife for the grumpy old man, and decides she is the best candidate for the job.  All she has to do is convince him, which takes us through innumerable musical numbers and extraneous characters.  This movie is an overblown pastiche of a musical, despite a few memorable songs and one dynamite cameo by Louis Armstrong himself.  So why watch?  Because this week I am going to see the Broadway revival, starring the Devine Miss M herself, Bette Midler.  The whole point of the show is to provide an actress like Channing, Streisand or brassy Bette with a star turn, and I have no doubt Bette will more than hold her own.  As for this production?  You can let this parade pass you by.  2½ cans.

46. Parenthood (1989) – This Steve Martin comedy became the loose basis of a TV show I loved, and although the movie can only cover so much ground in two hours compared to a TV series that lasted for about 7 years, the movie is nonetheless entertaining.  Although I don’t have kids, I certainly laughed my way through some of the trials and travails of the Buckman family.  Martin is Gil, the main character, trying his best with wife Karen (Mary Steenbergen) to be a good father.  When Cowboy Dan doesn’t show up for his son’s birthday, Gil fashions a cowboy outfit complete with “chaps” made from the bathroom throw rugs.  Meanwhile, his sister Helen (Dianne Wiest) is flummoxed by her daughter Julie (Martha Plimpton) and her choice of boyfriend, or, as she calls him, “that Tod” (Keanu Reeves in a part essentially similar to his role in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”)  When mom accidentally gets Julie’s pictures from the local Fotomat (this movie is OLD), she is amused and outraged by the casual sex between the two young lovers.  “You can almost see his face in this one,” she says.  Parenthood is a tough job, and this movie reminds the viewer of much of the joy, some of the disappointment and all of the fun.  3½ cans.

47.  My Blue Heaven (1990) – In a completely different role, here Steve Martin is mobster Vinnie Antonelli, a fish completely out of water as a native New Yorker forced to move to San Diego as part of the witness protection program.  He only stands out from the neighbors in his new community when he mows the grass in his sharkskin suit, teaches his FBI agent Barney (Rick Moranis) how to merengue and tips everyone in sight.  Martin’s trademark white hair may be gone, but his smile and silliness are intact.  Barney is charged with the job of keeping Vinnie alive and making him fit in while awaiting his testimony in a New York mob case.  But trying to get Vinnie to keep a low profile – and alive – is a real challenge.  Nothing earthshaking here, but good for a few grins.  Martin is terrific.  3 cans.

April Observations

Why is it that when you are in a hurry you get every red light and it seems to be National Slow Drivers Day?  And when you are ahead of schedule, you always get green lights and there is no traffic?

You know you're getting old when you pick up a book at the library and it turns out to be a large type edition, and you realize that you don't even mind because it will be easier to read.

Here’s another thing I have noticed about getting old:  Women shrink and sag, their hair gets thinner and their hips get fuller.  Men get bushy eyebrows and longer earlobes.  And I no longer have to shave the inside of my legs, my calves.  Just an observation.

There are some days when I have to look down at my shoes to make sure I am wearing an actual pair.

There are days when I drive 100 miles and I don't go anywhere.

Does this happen to you?  You look for something in the place where you just KNOW it will be, except that it isn’t in its place.  So you keep looking there, and finally give up because the item – a utensil, a pair of shoes, a sweater – is NOT where it was supposed to be.  Then you randomly glance at the spot in question at another time, and there it is.  What happened?  Did the thing you were looking for slip away for some sort of dalliance?  And how did it get back?  Ah, the secret life of your stuff.

Recently I went to visit a friend who has an adorable dog.  I am not a dog or cat person (sometimes I’m not even sure I am a people person), but I find Byron irresistible.  I’ll even let him sit on my lap and gaze and me with his puppy-dog eyes (even though he isn’t a puppy anymore).  Before I left for the visit, I decided that I would stop at Pet Smart to buy Byron a gift.  I have NEVER been in a pet store.  It was overwhelming.  What should I buy?  I found a few likely candidates, but when I realized they squeaked, I figured it best to avoid that type of annoying sound.  After browsing the aisles for something that Byron would want to play with, I settled on a bunny from Ellen DeGeneres’ pet line.  I went the register to pay and the cashier asked me if I had a loyalty card.  I told her I had never even been in a pet store before, which she found shocking.  I told her I wasn’t sure this was the right gift, so she asked me what kind of dog it was.  “He’s black,” I answered.  What do I know?  Then I remembered he was a snickerdoodle, or something like that.  You know, part poodle and part something else.  She probably went home from work that day shaking her head about the dopey woman who came into Pet Smart that day.  PS – I barely had the bunny out of the package when Byron seized his gift, ran around the room with it and spent the day chewing the ear right off the bunny.  I think he liked it.  And no, I am NOT getting a dog!

I recently took an on-line quiz about one of my all-time favorite movies, “Animal House,” and aced it.  I’m not sure what that says about the information stored in my brain, but as the motto of fictional Faber College asserts, “Knowledge is Good.”

I totally get the relatively simple concept of losing weight:  “Eat less and move more.”  But sometimes that motto seems to morph into “Eat more and move less,” which, I can assure you, does NOT yield the same results.  So I have come to this realization about the very logical and effective Weight Watchers program:  If you are not making progress, you are probably making excuses.

I read an article that says there is scientific evidence that eating chocolate cake for breakfast (and the timing is critical, according to the research) can increase your intelligence and help you lose weight.  I approach this news with skepticism, hope and a fork.

The question is never “How long CAN you keep Girl Scout Cookies in the freezer?”  It is always, “How long WILL you keep Girls Scout Cookies in the freezer?”

With all of this talk about our appliances performing “surveillance” on our daily lives, I’m wondering if Alexa is divulging my shopping list to anyone.  And who could possibly be interested in knowing that I need bananas?

And speaking of bananas, here is my question of the day:  Why are the bananas in Stop and Shop ALWAYS better than the ones in ShopRite?  They aren’t bagged, for one, but they are consistently superior to the lame ones in ShopRite, even if they are the same brand (Chiquita, etc.)  Such a mystery.

My idea of pressure is getting a 14-day book from the library.  Will I have time to read it and return it?  What if it is late and that goes on my permanent record?  I can’t take the pressure.  It is easier to just buy the book.

You know your day is busy when you think you can’t afford the two minutes it takes to run the electric toothbrush for the full cycle.

Whenever someone tells me something that is confidential and says I should not repeat it, I always think, “No problem.  I’m probably not going to remember it anyway.”

There is no time that I speak more clearly than when I am trying to enter destination information into the navigation system in my car.  However precisely I enunciate the address, she fails to understand and cannot locate the desired destination.  Frankly, I think she is suffering from some sort of hearing impairment issue, because what she CLAIMS to hear and what I actually said are so completely different (like I saw "Raritan" and she thinks it is "Matawan).  It would be easier to fold and unfold a map – or just use my phone, which magically picks up every word I say when asking for directions.

Does this happen to you?  I’ll wake up during the night with a sore knee or a sore throat or some ailment, which, of course, feels so much worse during the night, and in the morning I’ll call the doctor’s office for an appointment, whereupon I instantly feel better.  So I don’t take anything, hoping that when I get there whatever is bothering me is at its worst so the doctor doesn’t think I’m a hypochondriac.  The same thing happens with the car.  You hear a terrible noise, make an appointment, and by the time you get to the service place, the noise is nearly gone.  So then you try to replicate it so the mechanic can diagnose it, which almost never works.  Odd, isn’t it?

Lately I have been having more problems than usual sleeping.  I may have trouble falling asleep, but it is what happens during the night that makes me crazy (and now you know how that happened).  I will wake up at 3 or 4 AM and have a discussion with myself about whether I should get up and go to the bathroom.  Am I awake BECAUSE I need to go?  Or should I go because I am awake?  So I get up and go, which makes me consider WHY I had this internal debate in the first place, since I always get up and go.  And then I go back to bed more awake than when I first got up and I can’t fall asleep again.  I make sure I am in what I consider a real “sleeping position.”  The pillows are arranged just right, there’s no pressure on my shoulders and my hands are unclenched to prevent carpel tunnel.  I am cool and comfortable – and fully awake.  If I could get exercise points for tossing and turning I’d be in great shape!  Should I get up and read a book?  Should I see what movies are on the DVR?  Should I put on the TV?  I refuse to turn on my phone before 7 am (most of the time).  I roll over and ask Alexa my schedule for the day or the temperature – as if I can do anything about either.  Just go back to sleep, I admonish myself.  Sometimes I try to meditate, to calm my mind and relax my body – if I can stop thinking about relaxing!  I’ll tell you, it is NOT easy being me, and it is certainly a relief to everyone that I live alone.  No one could put up with me.  I can’t stand myself when I am tossing and turning.

I think I had a bad dream last night that was prompted by the recent United Airlines incident when a passenger was dragged down the aisle of the plane in an effort to “re-accommodate” him (airlines parlance) since the flight was overbooked.  In the dream, I was at an airport, trying to get somewhere, and the authorities kept questioning me, delaying my departure.  I woke up so upset and reluctant to go back to sleep because I was afraid the dream would continue – which NEVER happens.  And I wonder why the bags under my eyes look like they came from American Tourister!

Tina's March 2017 Movies

It should come as no surprise that I watched several basketball movies since, after all, it IS March Madness!  Movies not previously seen are marked with an asterisk.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 tuna cans, with 5 being at the top of the scale.  Numbering picks up from the previous months.

23.  At All Costs* (2015) – As a sports fan, it pains me to think about the business aspects of athletics, but that is the reality of athletics at ANY level.  This documentary about boys’ AAU basketball gives an inside look at “amateur” athletics, where basketball players as young as pre-teens are tracked and rated.  But the all-consuming monsters here are the AAU teams and leagues, funded generously by shoe companies and headed by well-meaning coaches who preside over their young charges with authoritarianism and the promoting the dream of a D-1 scholarship and an NBA career.  The coaches establish a rapport with the players and their families, but their altruism is tempered by their need to win, thus insuring future financial support.  The players criss-cross the country to play in showcase tournaments, elevate their visibility and garner that scholarship.  Gone are the days where allegiance to the hometown high school team was enough of a motivator.  According to this movie, the high school coach is a minor influence, supplanted by the AAU coach and organization.  Yes, some good can come of this in the form of educational opportunities, but with that comes more games and more chances to blow out a knee and miss out on a future so fervently desired.  Such are the demands of the meat market that is college athletics.  3½ basketballs.
24.  The Secret Rules of Modern Living: Algorithms* (2015) – Let me start by saying that math is not my forte. So why on earth would I be drawn to a documentary on algorithms?  Well, I like anything logical, that shows how things work, and algorithms – which are a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations, especially by a computer – are behind much of what we demand in today’s society.  That includes everything from internet searches to calculating directions to managing warehouse operations to on-line dating, where algorithms work behind the scenes to match and sort huge volumes of data very quickly to provide answers.  Google was built on a search algorithm.  The host of this BBC documentary does a masterful job of illustrating how algorithms work for us and highlighting how they help get information we depend on for everyday life.  I can’t explain algorithms in much detail, but I’m happy they are around, and I’m happy I stumbled on this demonstration of their importance.  3 cans.  PS – I know few people who would watch this movie but many people who would question my sanity and interest in it.
25.  Don Jon* (2013) – I thought I was watching an episode of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” with this movie.  Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who also wrote and directed), is a “player,” an Italian stud whose mission in life is to score with the hot ladies and keep his apartment, car and himself clean and tidy in between sexual conquests.  He goes to church and the gym, works out religiously while chanting his Hail Marys as penance for the porn obsession that he confesses each week to his priest.  That’s until he’s hit with the thunderbolt that is Barbara (Scarlett Johansson), a gum-chewing Jersey girl with all the physical requirements he demands.  Yet no one and nothing can match the fantasies of the thrills he gets from watching porn.  When Barbara discovers that Jon’s sex life often does not need her, she dumps him.  After mourning for at least a few minutes, he strikes up a relationship with pot-smoking Esther (Julianne Moore), a much older classmate, who leads him into a better kind of existence.  Jon seems like a self-centered meathead who will never be satisfied with an actual woman and who will continue to indulge himself.  The only reason I watched this movie is that I couldn’t find anything else on a snowy day and that I like Gordon-Levitt (no relation) – but not so much here.  2 cans.
26.  The Railway Man* (2013) – The movie is based on the true story of British WWII veteran Eric Lomax (Colin Firth), a man who loves railroads.  He meets a young woman Patti (Nicole Kidman) while riding the train, and they get married quickly – before she really gets a chance to know him.  Soon she finds out that while serving as an officer in the British Army in Japan, Lomax was taken as a prisoner of war and tortured.  Ironically, he and his cohorts are forced into the hard labor of building a railroad line.  Years later, he feels drawn to return to the place where he was captured and to confront his torturer, a man named Nagase (Hiroyuki Sanada).  This is a moving tale of a man trying to reconcile his past and his present.  3½ cans.
27.  Mr. Church* 2016) – This quiet little melodrama stars Eddie Murphy in a role diametrically opposed to his more well-known turns in “Beverly Hills Cop” and “Trading Places.”  Here he is a man hired to cook for a little girl and her mother, a young woman who is dying of breast cancer.  He is a great cook, and soon becomes a treasured part of the family, but in a dignified, proper way, always called “Mr. Church” by his employer and her daughter Charlie.  Although the dying woman only has 6 months to live, she far exceeds her grim prognosis, and Mr. Church is always there for her and Charlie.  The movie builds through their unconventional relationship, which lasts for years.  It’s not possible to say more her without giving away the story.  There are numerous plot holes and a bit of maudlin play.  This movie reminded me in a way of “Driving Miss Daisy,” depicting caring black people in subservient roles, but Mr. Church himself kowtows to no one.  3 cans.
28.  Sunset Boulevard (1950) – Picture it: Faded silent screen star Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) easing down that long staircase and sneering into the camera.  “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”  Now try NOT to picture Carol Burnett in the role, which she did as a memorable send-up on her hilarious TV show.  In this, the classic Billy Wilder film, Norma is desperate to regain her position as the Queen of Hollywood, a part she hasn’t played since silent movies became extinct.  She is holed up in a decaying mansion on, yes, Sunset Boulevard, reliving her glory days as her faithful servant Max caters to her every whim.  Then along comes screenwriter Joe Gillis (William Holden), who accidentally arrives there and is almost immediately drawn into the hands of the manipulative and exceedingly generous Madame Desmond.  But they are manipulating each other, he because he needs the work she offers (and doesn’t mind her lavish gifts) and she because she is used to being in charge.  Will Joe ever reclaim his real life?  Will Norma once again shine on screen?  There are signs of dementia as the increasingly demanding and desperate Norma tries to romance the much younger writer, who is torn between helping himself and saving her.  I watched as a pre-requisite to the Broadway musical with Glenn Close that I saw the next day.  The movie gets 4 cans.  The Broadway show was outstanding and gets 5 cans.
29.  Nights in Rodanthe (2008) – I guess if I were going to watch a movie with two of my favorite actors as the leads (Richard Gere and Diane Lane), I should have picked their much superior co-starring stint in “Unfaithful.”  This is your typical Nicholas Sparks story of two great-looking people in North Carolina.  They meet by accident and fall madly in love during a nasty storm.  Adrienne Willis has a troubled marriage.  Dr. Paul Flanner is divorced, estranged from his son, and, oh, by the way, a local resident died on his operating table and the family wants to sue him.  She’s tending her friend’s inn and getting away from her errant husband, and Flanner, the only guest, is in town to apologize to the family of the woman who died.  It rains – hard – and they have to batten down the hatches before they can fall in love.  This is a trite and manipulative story that I cannot reveal more of without giving away the ending.  Their attraction is immediate and their love is sudden; it rains and he goes away.  Watch it to find out the whole story.  One bonus – Viola Davis plays Adrienne’s BFF.  2½ cans.
30.  More Than a Game* (2008) – I admire people who are prescient enough to seize opportunities to record events and news before they become significant.  In this case, the filmmakers tracked the athletic success of a basketball team in Akron, Ohio, BEFORE its members were even in high school, when they played in an old community center.  And, as good fortune would have it, one of the members of that team became NBA superstar LeBron James.  James even as an adolescent was clearly a superior talent.  Together with several of his childhood friends and dedicated coaches, the kids had a chance to win a championship.  It took them until James’ senior year to move to the top of the national high school rankings and become the national champions, playing all-comers and flying around the country to do so.  As a basketball fan, I find this stuff fascinating.  James often looked like a man among boys, his body maturing faster and his strength evident while at least one of his teammates hadn’t cracked five feet tall yet.  I think this documentary also shows the influence that dedicated coaches have not just on developing winning teams, but also on the development of boys to men, and good men.  The young men in the movies remain LeBron’s best friends even today, while he was gone on to a career that puts him among the elite players in the game.  3 ½ cans.
31.  Redwood Highway* (2013) – Shirley Knight is one of those actresses who always come across as believable, effortless.  Here she escapes her assisted living facility to hit the highway – on foot – determined to spite her interfering son and walk 80 miles to attend her granddaughter’s wedding.  Along the way she is lucky enough to encounter people who help her on her mission, providing food, tips and even medical help when needed.  That’s where the story – to me – begins to unravel a bit.  She walks through a redwood forest to get to Oregon, where many years back she married her late husband, a man killed at a young age while in the Service.  She fantasizes a bit and demonstrates some possible signs of dementia, but she is determined and stubborn.  Nothing explodes, nobody gets hurt, and this is a bittersweet little movie worth seeing if only for Knight’s performance.  3 cans.
32.  Woman in Gold (2015) – I am intrigued by the premise here, so much so that I have seen two other movies on this theme and have visited the museum where the painting of the title is on display.  The superb documentary “The Rape of Europa” covered the seizure of art from Jews by the Nazis in the period leading up to and during WWII.  George Clooney’s “The Monuments Men” tried to inject some humor in the story of a team of men trying to recapture these treasures and return them to their rightful owners.  That’s where this story picks up, with Maria, having moved to the United Sates to flee Austria during the war, trying to reclaim the “Woman in Gold” painting of her aunt by the famous artist Gustav Klimpt.  But the Austria Museum where the painting has long resided claims its ownership, so Maria (Helen Mirren, terrific as always) teams up with a young attorney whose family she knows (underplayed beautifully by Ryan Reynolds) to bring a lawsuit first in Austria and then in the US to get the painting back.  The odds are long and the legal angles can be a little hard to follow, but this pair is ready to pull out all the stops.  4 cans
33.  Return to Me (2000) – This endearing movie is about a broken heart.  Grace (Minnie Driver) has lived her whole life with a bad heart and is failing when she is the lucky recipient of the heart of a woman killed in a car accident.  The victim’s loving husband Bob (David Duchovny) is devastated, until he meets Grace, having no idea that her good health is thanks to his wife’s heart.  When she figures it out, can she tell him, and will it change things between them?  Grace is surrounded by family and friends (including Bonnie Hunt, Carroll O’Connor as her grandfather, Jim Belushi) and has plenty of love and support, but can she give her heart to Bob once she knows it once belonged to his wife?  If I could pick someone to be friends with, Bonnie Hunt, who co-wrote and directed this charming gem, would be high up on my list.  This movie is charming and will make you smile.  Let’s just say it has a lot of heart.  4 cans.
34.  Custody* (2015) – Sorry, Viola Davis, but if I see that you are in a movie, I expect a very high standard.  Not that Davis’ performance is anything other than stellar, but the movie?  The only real reason to watch it is Davis herself, playing a stoic judge who runs a tight family courtroom and presides over a case with Sara, a young mother (Catalina Sandino Moreno) who is in trouble with the law but fighting desperately to retain custody of her two young children.  Davis may control her courtroom, but in real life, her marriage is falling apart and there are issues with her college student son.  Meanwhile, Sara’s public defender Ally (Hayden Panetierre) has her own issues – personally and professionally.  Too much time is spent on the arcane rulings of the court and not enough on the problems faced by these women, each of a different socio-economic class and each facing stereotypes.  Well done, but I wanted better.  3½ cans.
35.  Driving Lessons* (2006) – Not to be confused with “Learning to Drive,” this British movie is about 17-year old Ben (Rupert Grint), a socially awkward boy living with his religious parents and ready to break free.  He takes a job (at his mother’s urging; his mother is Laura Linney) as an assistant to Evie, an elderly actress (Julie Walters) who is as eccentric as you expect of older actresses in this kind of movie.  Although he’s not quite sure how to assist Evie and he’s not all that resourceful, he soon becomes essential to her existence.  This is a coming of age movies, as Ben must learn to drive and to deal with the demands of the women in his life.  Some of the situations are far-fetched, but the relationship between the demanding actress and her young charge is mostly heartwarming.  3 cans.
36.  The Loving Story* (2011) – Love is love, right?  Well, not in Virginia in 1958, when Richard Loving, a white man, married Mildred Jeter, a woman of black and Cherokee heritage, in Washington, DC.  After the wedding, the young couple returned to their home state to live.  Several weeks later, they were arrested, charged and convicted pf miscegenation, a law designed to prohibit the mixing of races.  Virginia was one of 21 states with miscegenation laws on the books then.  The Lovings had no idea they were violating the law and moved to Washington to avoid jail.  But their respective families lived in Virginia and they wanted their kids to grow up there, so they wrote a letter to then-Attorney General Bobby Kennedy, asking for his help.  He recommended they contact the American Civil Liberties Union, which they did.  The Lovings were not activists, and they were not looking to end up in front of the Supreme Court to make their case.  They just wanted to enjoy their married lives together in their home state.  I missed the dramatization of this case in the movie that came out in 2016 (“Loving”), but this HBO documentary covers the ground in a factual, low-key way.  It is truly abhorrent to remember that there were laws like this around as recently as 2000, when Alabama became the last state to drop its.  You can’t help but think about the irony of the name of this film – Loving – which well reflects the couple’s devotion to each other, to their families and to the State of Virginia at a time when state governments made it illegal for them to do just that.  4 cans.

March Madness

Everything always takes longer and costs more than you thought it would.

Girl Scout Cookies: Who doesn’t love them?  Who thinks a single serving size is one sleeve (half the box)?  And who doesn’t consider them as addictive as crack?  But, oh, those Thin Mints!

I was thisclose to cleaning out a section of my closet, but luckily the feeling passed.

I love broccoli, but the refrigerator stinks when there is cooked broccoli in it.  I should store it in a lead container.

Why is it so easy to spot the mistakes in our texts and posts AFTER we have sent them?

Overlooking for a moment the biggest SNAFU in the history of the Oscars, now maybe I can finally stop confusing Emma Stone, Amy Adams, Jessica Chastain and Rachel McAdams, except that Emma and Rachel both starred with my man, Ryan Gosling, in movies I loved (Emma in “Crazy Stupid Love” and “La La Land” and Rachel in “The Notebook”).

And back to that SNAFU – Really?  Who handed poor OLD Warren Beatty the duplicate envelope for Best Actress?  (The Price Waterhouse guy, who will live in infamy.)  He obviously was confused, but Faye Dunaway just blurted out “La La Land” when she saw it on the card.  Even though it turns out to be an error by the accountant handing out the envelope, I don’t think you will see Warren and Faye at the Oscars again unless: 1) The producers play it for laughs and ask them to host; or 2) They appear in the In Memoriam portion of the telecast.

There are so many classes I had to take as a student that have brought me only a modicum of value as an adult.  I still can’t figure out percentages properly, but I know how much of a tip to leave at a restaurant.  I can calculate the sale price pretty closely at Macy’s, but I rarely have to deploy my knowledge of geometry in any venture.  I suggest we revamp our education system and offer more practical knowledge.  For example, I would like someone to teach me how to properly load the dishwasher to maximize the space.  Sure, my dishwasher came with a manual, but I am a visual learner, so a demo would do me a world of good.  And in case you don’t think this is an important thing to know, I have a friend who swears her first husband divorced her on the grounds that she could never load the dishwasher correctly.  When it comes to folding sheets, even a visual demonstration by Debbie Lynch was fruitless.  It would be easier to drop mine off at her house and let her do it for me.  Finally, I have managed to live 66 years without any working knowledge of calculus, but these are the kinds of things we ALL need to learn.

We all fuss and agonize over furniture selection, but when people come to visit, we end up in the kitchen anyway. I guess my sectional with three recliners is only so I can move around the room and keep my own feet up.

I’m thinking about having the house painted, and I wish I had a dime for every color that is basically beige.  Someone has to sit down and figure out names for these colors that are almost impossible to differentiate.  “Tawny Beige,” “Desert Fortress,” “Mesa Tumbleweed” and “Wheat Toast” conjure up some kind of image, but, in reality, pretty much any beige color will cover up the Sherwin Williams “Cheap but Hides the Flaws” builder’s paint the house came with, right?  Meanwhile, I’ll agonize over exactly which hue to choose, and I’ll probably never even notice the difference once the paint has been applied.

I also wish I had a dime for every book in this house with a bookmark in it, meaning that I have started it but haven’t finished it.  And they are all books I want to read!  I need to finish one before I start the next one.

Judging by the amount of hair I extracted from my hairbrush this morning, it’s a wonder there is ANY left on my head.

I performed a mitzvah today, pairing up two white socks that did not match but looked lonely without their mates.  Now they are no longer alone but have a partner.  My work here is done.

Someone committed an act that can best be described as civil disobedience by removing the tags on my throw pillows.  I only hope the authorities are not monitoring this kind of activity.

And speaking of the authorities, first I find out that my Alexa may be ratting me out by recording every boring thing said in this house: “Alexa, what time is it? (when I’m too lazy to turn over in bed and look at the clock); “Alexa, what’s the temperature?”  Now, thanks to presidential counselor (is that like being a camp counselor?  Just wondering…) KellyAnne Conway says that there are many ways to “surveil” each other and that my microwave may be recording things.  Is it swapping gossip with the fridge?  Will they report to Weight Watchers that I defrosted a blueberry muffin?  Seriously, KAC?  Should I just wrap myself up in aluminum foil and hide out silently under the bed?  You can’t make this stuff up.  Oh, wait, they just did.

The much anticipated disclosure of the president’s tax returns by Rachel Maddow on her news program yesterday turned out to be about as revelatory as when TV’s Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault – and found NOTHING.  Oh, there was a tax return – from 2005 – and the president paid at about the 25% rate, but we had to wait a half an hour to see two pages of a 12-year-old tax return.  He promised to disclose his tax records and then reneged after he was elected, asserting that no one cares.  I care.  I really want to know if this man paid taxes, gave to charity and is tied to nefarious forces of influence.  He can see mine, so why can’t I see his?  But revealing MY tax return would have made for better television.

Quick, stop what you are doing!  Macy’s is having a one-day sale.  Again.  And for two days.  Never mind, there will be another one next week, I’m sure.

Whenever I get my car washed, I swear it runs better.  And that the likelihood of rain (and snow) increases.

I have finally succumbed to subscribing to Showtime, which will offer me even more opportunities to watch movies.  And I can finally start watching the Showtime series “Homeland,” “Nurse Jackie,” “Ray Donovan” and others that people have been touting for so long.  That subscription brings my monthly cable TV/phone/Internet bill to just over $200 a month, and that’s AFTER a bulk rate discount of $50 available in my community.  $200 a month!  Remember when TV was free?  My mother is spinning in her grave about now.

If there is just ONE shopping cart with the squeaky wheel, that’s the one I will get.  You know, the one where the wheel shimmies or only wants to go left?  Yeah, if there are 200 carts available, that’s the ONE cart that I end up with every time.

And speaking of the supermarket, I usually get through the “About 20 items” line.  But, invariably, I am behind some old guy who takes forever to extricate his wallet, which is buried deep in his back pocket, and then pays cash and needs to get change.  Man, this is the EXPRESS line!  I could have been home by now!  I, on the other hand, have my ShopRite card and my credit card IN MY HAND before I have to pay so I can get through the process swiftly – for all the usual altruistic reasons, of course.

Last summer I started to meditate.  I wasn’t all that good at it, but I found it relaxed by body (if not my mind) before I had to plunge into my day or after a full day of activities.  So recently I went to a mindfulness session to inspire me to make time to start meditating again.  The leader was nothing but realistic, promising that I am not the ONLY person who works hard to relax but who cannot shut off her mind.  You think about breathing – and then your relaxation is interrupted by the usual mundane thoughts:  What am I having for dinner tonight?  Did I leave the laundry in the washing machine?  Don’t forget to pick up bananas.  We all live with such angst!  Now I have to remind myself to meditate and RELAX, dammit!

Tina's February 2017 Movies

Despite a short month, I squeezed in 14 movies in February, trying to catch up on Oscar nominees and Ryan Gosling movies.  The movies are rated from a low of 1 tuna can to a high of 5, and movies not seen previously are marked with an *astersik.  Numbering picks up from the previous month.

9.  The Notebook (2004) – I haven’t watched this movie in a long time, and you know that I love me some Ryan Gosling.  I’m not going to give you the story, because who doesn’t already know it?  This romance is so heartwarming, so romantic, and oh, that kiss in the rain with Rachel McAdams!  Also aboard are James Garner and Gena Rowlands.  Good story, great cast, and did I mention Ryan Gosling?  4½ kisses in the rain.
10.  Becoming Warren Buffett* – Warren Buffett is not your average octogenarian multi-billionaire.  The so-called “Oracle of Omaha” is a fairly average guy, just one who is much smarter and more patient than most people when it comes to investing.  His wealth came from his management of Berkshire Hathaway, and his philosophy has been simple and consistent:  Buffett believes in compounding.  Invest a dollar and let it grow.  That’s why his BH stock has gone up so much, without stock splits and without rapid turnover.  He lives his life in the same way, constantly reading about the financial markets, retaining the same core group of employees (about 25 of them have been with him for decades), operating out of the same office building and living in the first house he purchased.  If the market is up, he allows himself the more expensive McDonald’s breakfast on his way to work.  It is a formula that has succeeded, as evidenced by his estimated $67 billion net worth.  Friends like fellow billionaire Bill Gates set the standard for philanthropy, and they have inspired Buffett to leave the bulk of his fortune to the Gates Foundation, where his money will help millions of people around the world.  This is an engrossing story about a fascinating man and well worth investing 90 minutes to watch on HBO.  4 cans.
11.  Fracture (2007) – It looks like a slam dunk case of attempted murder for assistant prosecutor Willy Beachum (Ryan Gosling; yes, I’m on a Gosling roll this month).  Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is arrested in his own house for the shooting of his now-comatose wife.  The authorities have his signed confession and there is a witness who heard the shot.  But the murder weapon can’t be found and the arresting officer was having an affair with the victim.  And then there is the accused, a brilliant, manipulative man who decides to act as his own attorney.  Willy catches this case a week before he is scheduled to leave the prosecutor’s office for a much more prestigious and lucrative job in a big, cushy law firm.  What could happen?  This movie is suspenseful, intriguing and arresting (in a sense…).  Watch it carefully because you won’t see the twists and turns coming.  4 cans.
12.  Lion* (2016) – Remember “The Girl on the Train?”  Well, this movie is “The Kid on the Train.”  In a desperately poor region of India, five-year old Saroo tags along with his older brother as Guddu attempts to find some money-making activity.  He leaves Saroo on a bench in the train station until he can return, but Saroo awakes, finds himself all alone, and disobeys his brother’s instructions.  He boards an out-of-service train that takes off for a long journey with this poor lost child.  Living on the street in an area thousands of miles from home – and where the people speak a different language – he uses an incredibly astute sense of danger to protect himself.  Eventually, he winds up in an orphanage with many other lost or abandoned children.  But Saroo is one of the lucky ones, as he is adopted by a loving couple (Nicole Kidman and David Wenham) who take him to Tasmania to live.  He grows up (played by Dev Patel) haunted by his past and yearning to reunite with his birth family.  But how can he find them, so many years later?  This film is heartwarming and harrowing at the same time.  The little boy (Sunny Pawar) who plays young Saroo is a revelation.  This movie is based on a true story, which is amazing.  4 cans.
13.  The Nice Guys* (2016) – Even watching Ryan Gosling on a snow day couldn’t save this movie.  Gosling and Russell Crowe team up – when they aren’t beating each other up – as private investigators in search of an actress who may or may not be dead and a porn movie that may or may not exist.  This film is supposed to be of the “film noire” genre, which I believe is the French phrase for “everything is dark and hard to see.”  When they are not engaged in machine gun fights and falling off balconies and other mayhem, the two leads do have a good degree of chemistry, but you could have left this one in the chem lab.  Sorry, Ryan, you were good, but the movie?  Not so nice.  2 cans.
14.  The Good Guy* (2010) – This contemporary drama looks at the lives of some young, hip New Yorkers.  Tommy (Scott Porter) is always under pressure at the Wall Street bank where he works, and Daniel (Bryan Greenburg), a genuinely nice guy (no relation to the movie listed above) is hired to be a replacement for one of the guys on Tommy’s team.  These guys are young, rich, aggressive and misogynistic when it comes to women.  Tommy’s very nice girlfriend, Beth (Alexis Bledel) believes him and believes in him – and she shouldn’t, because Tommy is a cheating, lying scumbag.  In my opinion, of course.  Daniel, on the other hand, is not, and you root for him NOT to become like the guys in the office.  Not a great movie (not even a good title), and proof again that Alexis Bledel will never exceed the limited acting ability she demonstrated in “Gilmore Girls.”  3 cans, at best.
15.   The Impossible* (2012) – The Impossible would be “The Improbable” if I didn’t already know that this movie about the deadly 2004 tsumani in Thailand was true.  Kudos to the director, J. A. Bayona, and the tech crew for a terrifying reenactment of the tsunami hitting a hotel where Henry and Maria (Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts) are vacationing with their three young children.  Maria is swept away but manages to stay with her oldest son, who turns into the caretaker for his seriously injured mother.  The audience doesn’t know initially whether she will survive or whether the rest of the family has been killed.  The aftermath of the tsunami is equally harrowing, as people desperately search for their loved ones.  This film is a celebration of the human spirit, not just among the injured, but also among those who love them and help each other.  3 cans.
16.  The Great Santini (1979) – Bull Meechum (Robert Duvall) is neither great nor is he named Santini.  But the Marine fighter pilot is the alpha male to his squadron, the first one to gather the guys for drinks and pull outrageous stunts, to defy authority even while he enforces it menacingly at home.  He demands respect from his wife (Blythe Danner) and kids, the oldest of whom is a teenager coming of age and beginning to question his father’s authority.  Bull is relentless, whether he is moving his military family from place to pace or playing any kind of game with the kids.  He sees himself always as a winner.  There is a famous scene where his son (Michael O’Keefe) beats him in basketball for the first time ever, despite Bull’s attempt to change the rules to slither out of the loss.  When the son won’t comply, Bull starts throwing the ball at his son’s head, as if to shake a change of mind out of him.  The action takes place in the South, and there are subplots regarding racism and white supremacy that help show that O’Keefe’s character has somehow developed the empathy his father lacks.  Duvall is at his military best here, prepping for his part in “Apocalypse Now” to some extent.  Not a fun movie to watch, but well made from a novel by Pat Conroy.  3½ cans.
17.  Catch Me If You Can (2002) – As the Sinatra song goes, “I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.”  Frank Abagnale Jr. wasn’t quite ALL of those things, but substitute in airline pilot, doctor and lawyer and you get the background of a very young man who bluffed his way through multiple careers while cashing in on check fraud, eluding the frantic attempts of his personal Jauvert, an FBI agent named Carl Hanratty (trusty Tom Hanks), to capture him.  Abagnale (Leonardo DiCaprio) is an earnest and charming teenager when he figures out how to dupe older and less wise adults, talking himself into jobs, passing the bar and posing at a pilot.  He studies his craft, gleaning information from people in his chosen professions who are all too willing to share.  And he proves himself to be a more-than-worthy opponent to the FBI as he dupes Hanratty the first time they face off.  This movie is based on the true story of Abagnale, who was a clever and cunning con man.  Catch it if you can.  4 cans.
18.  Paterson* (2017) – I asked a friend of mine who had already seen this movie whether it was good.  She described it as “a week in the life of a bus driver,” and that pretty accurately sums it up.  Adam Driver plays a pleasant guy who wakes up early every morning, kisses his wife (Golshifteh Farahani), eats his Cheerios, grabs his Stanley lunch pail and walks to the bus depot to start driving passengers around Paterson, NJ.  If you didn’t know anything about Paterson before, it is more than just the spectacular Great Falls.  It is the home of poet William Carlos Williams, a man much admired by Paterson the bus driver, himself a poet.  The driver comes home each night for dinner, dutifully walks his dog and heads to the local bar for one beer.  His supportive wife encourages him with his poetry and fancies herself a bit of an artist, always painting designs on the furniture and her clothing.  I hope I didn’t ruin the plot, because that is essentially the entire movie.  It is a quiet, sweet little story, the kind of movie where if you happen to fall asleep for a few minutes, you won’t miss much.  Roses are red, violets are blue, the most tuna cans I can give this movie is 2.
19.  Hell or High Water* (2016) – This buddy movie/road movie/chase movie/cops vs. bank robbers movie is not your typical good guys vs. bad guys story.  In some ways, the bad guys are actually good guys, but to reveal more wouldn’t be fair to the screenwriter or the viewer.  Let’s just say that Marcus Hamilton (Jeff Bridges), a crusty old Texas Ranger who is about to retire, catches this case and in his laconic but experienced way he sets out to capture the crooks, brothers Toby (Chris Pine) and Tanner (Ben Foster).  They are clever enough to elude him at first, but this IS his last go-around, which gives him more motivation.  The dialog here is sparse but meaningful.  You get the picture of the economics in these dusty Texas towns, where robbing a bank this easily hasn’t been done since Bonnie and Clyde.  I definitely had not seen this story before, but it was worth the $5.99 rental to keep me busy on a Saturday night.  4 cans.
20.  Moonlight* (2016) – This movie is a powerful look at a very lonely man, taunted for his homosexuality as a boy, who grew up poor, neglected and very much alone in life.  Mahershala Ali plays Juan, a local drug dealer who finds young Chiron as he hides from taunting bullies.  Chiron is so quiet that Juan isn’t sure whether he can actually speak.  Juan becomes a friend to the boy, teaching him to swim and introducing him to his girlfriend Teresa, who becomes a lifeline for him when he needs to flee from his drug addict mother and just find peace somewhere.  We see Chiron as a young boy, then a high school student, and finally, as an adult.  His life is consumed with loneliness, the only respite coming from a brief sexual encounter in high school with Kevin, a macho classmate who hides his sexuality.  This heartbreaking film is not easy to watch and I never want to see it again, but it is a sobering look at isolation, forcing the viewer to experience the pain of not being able to acknowledge one’s own identity.  Chiron is trapped in a world without relief from suffering, where he is tagged as gay and traumatized throughout his formative years.  4 cans.
21.  Three Days of the Condor (1975) – Joe Turner (Robert Redford) reads books for a living.  His employer?  The CIA.  He and the others in his non-descript office become targets when he uncovers a terrorism plot that the CIA does not want disclosed.  Luckily for Turner, he is out to lunch (literally) when intruders invade the office and murder all of his co-workers.  The look on Redford’s face throughout most of the film is one of fear and confusion, as he tries to figure out what happened and why, and while he has to protect himself from a paid assassin (Max von Sydow).  He drafts a random woman (Faye Dunaway) to assist him, threatening her with a gun and holding her captive.  Personally, I would have gone with him willingly, but I’m not in the movie.  This movie offers plenty of suspense and a commentary on government agencies and their abuse of power.   It may be old, but it remains timely. 3½ cans.
22.  The Armstrong Lie (2013) – We’ve seen great examples lately of people telling lies so loudly, so often and so vehemently that their falsehoods almost sound true.  This was the case with revered cyclist Lance Armstrong, who suffered a huge fall from grace when he finally admitted that his Tour de France victories were achieved at least in part because he was using banned substances, doping, whatever you want to call it.  He cheated.  Only he doesn’t think so, because so did all of his competitors, which is borne out by evidence.  It was a question of keeping the playing field even, according to Armstrong.  OK, big deal, right?  Except it was, because Armstrong duped public, the cycling leadership and the US government, who paid him through the sponsorship provided by the USPS.  He made enough money to fly private jets, live a lavish lifestyle and employ a well-known doctor who created a “program” intended to keep Armstrong fit and healthy, with a little help from his pharmacological friends.  And he got away with it for a long time, demanding acquiescence by his teammates and outfoxing (with the help of his doctor) all available tests designed to detect banned substances.  Yes, he raised millions for cancer through his Livestrong Foundation (remember those ubiquitous yellow rubber wristbands?), and yes, he persevered and overcame cancer to win the Tour 7 times.  But now, those titles have been stripped from him, his sponsors have dropped him, and he cannot compete in any sport where the Anti-Doping Agency has jurisdiction.  This is a hard look at an impossibly driven and arrogant guy who wanted to win at any cost, who defamed others in the course of protecting himself, and whose rise was followed by the inevitable fall.  I see a parallel here. 3½ cans.