Tina's October Movies

Hurricane Sandy had a devastating effect on the East Coast in October, with a path of destruction and lack of power. That means less movie watching and publishing my monthly list a bit late.  I hope you all survived the storm and are safe and well. As usual, numbering picks up from previous months and movies are graded on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the top. Movies I had not seen previously are marked with an *.

103.  Norma Rae (1979) – It’s a long way from Sister Bertrille in “The Flying Nun” to Norma Rae for Sally Field in this gritty movie about a young widow who works in a textile mill down South.  Field’s title character lives with her parents and her two kids, barely making a living in the sweltering, dusty plant, along with most of the rest of the town.  When Ruben (Ron Liebman) shows up – a union organizer from New York City and truly a stranger in a strange land – and tries to convince the locals that they are being exploited and need the union to protect them, Norma Rae becomes his staunchest supporter.  The scene where she is forced out of the factory but defies management by simply standing on a table holding up a “UNION” sign remains a powerful visual and a turning point for the story.  Field won her first Oscar for her spot-on portrayal of a fearless woman ready to tackle the unknown.  Beau Bridges, as her mostly quiet husband, joins her in another memorable scene where she vows to cook, clean, iron and make love – all at once.  Of course, you have to buy in to the generalization that big companies exist to exploit their workers and never have their interests at heart, but this movie is very good at conveying that specific scenario, at least in this town.  4 cans.

104.  Steel Magnolias* (2012) – Speaking of Sally Field, the star of the original version of this movie, here is a new version aired by Lifetime TV and starring an all black cast, headed by Queen Latifah in the role played by Field.  Queen brings her alpha woman strength and attitude to the role of MaLynn, the mother of Shelby (Condola Rashad), a young woman about to get married and living with diabetes.  The strength of the story comes from the bonds of the Southern women (Jill Scott, Phyllicia Rashad and Alfre Woodard) who congregate at Truvie’s Beauty shop to complain about their husbands and lives and offer friendship and comfort to each other in good times and bad.  The script has been updated to include references to Michelle Obama and Beyonce, but the story is largely the same.  Maybe because the original was so memorable that I can recall the zingers delivered by Dolly Parton (“There ain’t no such thing as natural beauty”) Olympia Dukakis and Shirley Maclaine (and a young Julia Roberts as Field’s daughter), this time around I knew what was coming and it didn’t have the same impact.  Latifah has a harder edge and lacks the vulnerability Field brought to the role.  Still, I find the strength and friendship of women appealing and commendable, so it’s hard to knock any story which features that bond as its main theme.  3 cans.

105.  Argo* (2012) – When 52 Americans were taken hostage in the American Embassy in Iran in 1979, six people managed to avoid captivity, seeking refuge in the residence of the Canadian Ambassador.  While the world focused on the hostages and their 444 days of captivity, the CIA considered ways to safely remove the missing six, who would soon be discovered missing by the Iranians.  CIA operative Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck, who also directed), proposed the best of the bad ideas – to pose as Canadians scouting locations in the Middle East to make a science fiction movie titled “Argo.”  But to make the fake movie seem real, he needed Hollywood help (from John Goodman and Alan Arkin, both wryly amusing) – including a script, storyboards and a fake production company – as well as passports and bios for each of the six.  He finds a script for a potentially terrible movie (shades of “The Producers”) and puts the plan into action.  Would the Iranians buy the concept of scouting locations amid the upheaval?  Affleck shows a deft hand in directing this clever movie, based on the actual events, making it both suspenseful and comedic in turn.  4 cans.

106.  Abduction: The Carlina White Story*(2012) – Ordinarily I won’t subject myself to Lifetime’s overly dramatic dramas, but this one was based on a true story, so it intrigued me.  Besides, I like the actresses – Keke Palmer and Sherri Shepherd (in a serious role) – who played the leads.  Carlina was just a few days old when she went to the hospital with a fever.  There a woman who had just lost her third baby and was posing as a nurse befriended her parents and, when they left temporarily, abducted her and raised her as her own.  No amount of pictures on milk cartons and pressure on the police could find the missing child.  The new mother managed to raise her without much of a job but with help from her sister.  However, when teenaged Carlina needed a birth certificate, she learned that she was not who she thought she was.  Still a bit overly dramatic, the movie nonetheless brings up the subject of parenting, of identity and who really are we.  Not that I would recommend this movie, but the performances were good.  2½ cans.

107.  Rain Man (1988) – The Best Picture of 1988, Rain Main is perhaps Tom Cruise’s finest performance.  I tend to find him very self-conscious as an actor, or maybe it’s just me seeing his Tom Cruiseness in every role.  Here he is the brash Charlie Babbitt, a failing luxury car dealer with a lot on his plate when his estranged father dies.  Not only does he not inherit the  rich man’s fortune, he learns he has a brother Raymond (Dustin Hoffman) who has been institutionalized for years.  Hoffman’s performance as a savant, which won him the Oscar, is amazing.  His every movement and utterance is completely in character of the man whose life is dictated by strict routine.  He has to watch Judge Wapner every day, buy his underwear at Kmart and eat fish sticks and lime Jell-O on Wednesdays.  As Charlie drags him across country in order to wrest his inheritance away, they develop a bond, with Charlie accommodating Raymond’s strange demands and awkward responses while developing a brotherly love.  This is an original story, and it deserves all the accolades it received.  4½ cans.

108.  Doubt (2010) – There is no doubt that Meryl Streep is the premiere actress of her generation.  Here she is Sister Aloysius, an unyielding nun who serves as principal of a Boston school in the 1950s.  Nearly engulfed by her habit, Streep has only her face and voice with which to convey her character, a stereotypical scary nun fiercely wedded to intimidation and tradition in the education a rowdy group of kids in a Catholic school.  She frowns upon the new parish priest, Father Flynn (the brilliant Philip Seymour Hoffman), a man who dares to use a ballpoint pen instead of a fountain pen and is friendly with the students.  Too friendly, Sister Aloysius suspects, after a young nun (Amy Adams) notes some strange behavior by the only black student in the school after visiting with Father Flynn.  Was the priest merely trying to reach out to help the young man or was there something untoward in his action?  There is a memorable scene between Streep and the boy’s mother, played by Oscar-nominated Viola Davis.  But the crux of the story is doubt itself, doubt about the priest’s credibility, doubt about whether suspicion and intolerance are enough to convict someone of acting inappropriately without being a witness to such action.  This provocative movie was one of the best of the year, and seeing it again left no doubt why.  4 cans.

109.  My Fair Lady (1964) – I have to love this movie since it is all about using proper English, grammar and enunciation.  Professor Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison) sets out to prove he can convert an uneducated Cockney guttersnipe into a woman with class and charm – often despite her protestations.  Audrey Hepburn plays Eliza Doolittle, the object of his intentions in this erudite Lerner & Lowe musical.  The lyrics tell the story brilliantly in this musical adaptation of the classic Pygmalion tale.  I could have danced all night.  4½ cans.

110.  Love, Actually (2003) – Love actually can be quite challenging, especially for those who don’t love their mates, or who love someone else, or who don’t have a partner at all, or who lust after someone without their knowledge or encouragement.  A plethora of British actors (Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightley, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, among others) appear in this ensemble, playing witty, charming, lonely and desperate people (sometimes all at the same time), sometimes looking for love in all the wrong places, and looking for it all around Christmas. This was one of the first holiday movie ensembles that I can remember, where the characters are divided up into duos or trios and only occasionally intersect in each other’s stories.  This movie pulls off the trick neatly, with the characters finally reaching happiness after a series of trials.  It also happens to have one of my favorite holiday songs, “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” by Kelly Clarkson (and yes, I am Jewish, but I still like the song).  The whole thing made me want to run to an airport and greet strangers.  3½  cans.

111.  Ethel* (2012) – When I think of someone named Ethel, either Mertz or Kennedy comes to mind.  This loving tribute to Ethel Kennedy by her youngest child, Rory (born six months after the assassination of her father, Robert, in 1964), reveals much about her background, faith and fun-loving side.  Ethel Skakel was born into a wealthy family similar to the Kennedys, competitive and outdoorsy.  Rory and Ethel cover the Ethel’s courtship, her parenting style and the role of the children in JFK’s 1960 presidential campaign as well as their participation in RFK’s ill-fated run in 1964.  Ethel is strong and stoic in the face of the loss of her parents in an airplane crash, the loss of two of her 11 children and, of course, the assassination of both her brother-in-law and her husband.  Since Ethel raised her brood largely on her own, she should get the lion’s share of the credit for the continuing tradition of Kennedys serving in non-profit and community service capacities.  Informative, if not revealing, this documentary takes Ethel out of the background and sheds light on her life and her family.  3 cans.

112.  All the President’s Men (1976) – And speaking of presidential politics, this account of Watergate by Washington Post reporters Woodward and Bernstein reads like a procedural drama.  As they peel back the layers of the onion that was the break-in to the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters at the Watergate, they heed informant Deep Throat’s advice to “follow the money,” tracking the trail of dirty tricks in Richard Nixon’s 1972 campaign all the way into the White House.  The mark of a good movie based on a true story is whether it can sustain the suspense even though we all know the outcome, and this one does just that.  There are nice touches on the look of the Post’s newsroom, the process for confirming information and dealing with “non-denial denials” and seeing now antiquated typewriters, phones that dial and using phone books for reference.  This entire episode changed our culture and the lives of so many people involved.  Kudos to Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman and Jason Robards as editor Ben Bradlee for their performances in this compelling drama.  4½ cans.

113.  John Portman: Life of Building* (2012) – The late 20^th century and current work of noted architect John Portman is profiled in this PBS documentary.  Master of modern architecture, Portman first gained acclaim for breaking the mold of boxy hotels with his innovative Hyatt Hotel in Atlanta.  Soaring atriums, flowing shapes and open spaces characterize his design aesthetic.  Portman became a developer, sculptor, painter and international businessman whose work is well represented throughout China and in 60 cities globally.  With the use of time lapse photography, this documentary helps the viewer experience their splendor in daylight, sunset and nighttime.  This movie presents stunning design and beautiful visuals for those interested in modern architecture.  3½ cans.

RIP, James E. Burke

The world lost a bright light – and I lost one of my heroes – with the recent death of former J&J CEO James E. Burke.  Ironically, he passed away right around the time that marks the 30^th anniversary of the TYLENOL crisis, the event for which Burke was best known.

In September of 1982, seven people died in the Chicago area from ingesting TYLENOL that had been tampered with, the capsules opened and the acetaminophen replaced with deadly cyanide.  To date, no one has ever been convicted of this reprehensible crime.  The event – and Johnson & Johnson’s public response to it – has been cited as a textbook case of crisis management.  Soon after its return to the market, TYLENOL regained its place as the market leader in the pain reliever category. 

Plenty of people take credit for their roles in this well-known case, but it was Burke himself who called the shots.  Not armed with a “crisis manual” – they didn’t exist at the time – he relied on his instincts, his heart and on the Johnson & Johnson Credo to do the right thing and guide his actions, which included recalling all bottles of TYLENOL and damn the cost (which added up to about $100 million).

But it is not the Jim Burke that brought the business back who left an indelible mark on me.  It is the Jim Burke who, during a nationally televised press conference from our New Brunswick headquarters, choked up in mentioning the seven victims.  It is the Jim Burke who allowed “60 Minutes” to sit in and broadcast strategy sessions with senior management, and the Jim Burke who won over a live audience of mostly women, and, in the process, a national audience, by appearing on the daytime talk show hosted by the king of daytime, Phil Donahue.  There, viewers got the measure of this remarkable man, his humility, his humanity, his sincerity.  That was the Burke I knew.

Mr. Burke became chairman in 1976, and I worked closely with him on presentations until he retired from J&J 13 years later.  I was young and too far down on the org chart to meet one-on-one with the CEO, but that happened frequently.  When his executive assistant – my still-good friend and fellow graduate of Somerville High School, Helen Hughes – would summon me to his office, I always asked if I should bring my boss, because that was proper protocol.  No, she’d say, “he said ‘Just Tina.’”  To this day, she calls me “Justina.”

Burke was an exceptional and inspiring leader, a brilliant businessman who combined a creative streak and business acumen, and who considered the ideas of others and sought their input but who was not afraid to make a decision.  You could not outthink him.  If I came up with a dozen ways to illustrate something, he’d suggest another one that I hadn’t considered.  Not that I always appreciated his input, especially during long days, night and weekends revising and revising and revising his presentation to the shareholders, but you could not get mad at this man, because he wanted the best and always delivered on his end.  Once, after we finished a rehearsal of his talk for the shareholders, J&J President Dave Clare got up to speak.  He had no sooner uttered, “Good morning, Jim,” when Burke interrupted him to make a change.  Hmm, I thought, if he’s changing, “Good morning, Jim,” we are in for a LONG day.

After a grinding stretch, which required countless hours of preparation, and finally the culmination of that work, when he would deliver his speech, Burke would send me a note or give me a bone-crushing hug.  I would feel the warmth and gratitude of that man as his arms enveloped me.  Now, we’d worry about sexual harassment, but then, it was like was two friends who had worked together in triumph, sharing a victory. 

Jim Burke was about as down-to-earth as a major business leader could possibly be.  Once we went on the company plane to California, where he addressed a group of West Coast employees.  The next day, he wanted to check out the packaging on the diaper boxes in a local supermarket.  He bought a few boxes, but, since he didn’t need the diapers, he stood at the cash register and offered the diapers to the other shoppers.  I could feel their eyes follow us out of the store as we got into a huge stretch limo.  “Who was that masked man?” they must have thought. 

The most profound impact Jim Burke made on me was in 1979, when he ended his presentation to a major management conference by telling everyone in the room that they should be having fun.  Fun was something I hadn’t considered much at work since I was usually too busy working.  But Jim Burke gave me license to have fun, and that is advice I not only followed but also have passed along to everyone who ever worked for me:  Work hard, do your best and have fun, and if you aren’t having fun, you are in the wrong place.  I even consoled my nephew with those words of wisdom after he would be the goalie on the losing soccer team.  I hope the people to whom I provided this advice will pass it along to the next generation as I did.

I have been fortunate to have some great role models and heroes in my life: My parents, my high school English teacher, Larry Foster (the man who hired me and helped me flourish and who knows more about public relations than ANYONE), my next boss (Bill Nielsen) and, last but not least, Jim Burke.  I’ll remember him in his prime, handsome and robust, the smartest man in the room and certainly, the most fun.  RIP, Mr. Burke.

Tina's September Movies

Here are the few movies I had a chance to see in September. Numbering picks up from previous months, and movies I had not seen previously are marked with an *.  Movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top of the scale.

96. Love Story (1970) – What can you say about a 25-year old woman who died – 42 years ago? That she appeared in a corny, sappy and irresistible movie that even now I adore watching – not all the time, but every once in a while. Erich Segal’s tearjerker involves rich preppie Harvard guy Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O’Neal, looking FINE), who falls hard for poor, smart and snarky Radcliffe girl Jennifer Cavalleri (Ali MacGraw). They meet cute, marry, suffer through estrangement from his incredibly wealthy father and endure poverty as they put him through law school, and just as he is getting himself established with a prestigious law firm in New York, she comes down with movie star disease (you can assume it’s cancer, but they never name it, she has no symptoms, and it will kill her quickly, the doctor advises Oliver). No amount of money will save Jenny, leaving poor Ollie to look forlorn. The memorable score by Francis Lai adds to the melodrama, and I can’t help but think about the Carol Burnett-Harvey Korman send-up of this movie, but, truth be told, I am a sucker for sap and I love “Love Story!” 4 cans and a box of Kleenex, please!
97. Thief* (1991) – James Caan channels his Sonny Corleone tough-guy persona in this story about Frank, a man in the car business by day and the safecracking business by night. An ex-con, Frank is an expert safecracker, but he wants just one more big score so he can get out of the business and on with his life. He marries Jessie (Tuesday Weld) and adopts a young son, but the complicated score he is working on gets more complicated when his “client” (Robert Prosky) changes the terms of their deal. If you know anything about filmmaker Michael Mann, you will immediately recognize his visual style and pounding soundtrack (think “Miami Vice” but without the pastel suits). There is plenty of violence and tough-guy posturing, and Frank, like Sonny Corleone, doesn’t mind taking matters into his own hands. Drop the gun and grab the cannolis. 3 cans.
98. Chapter Two* (1979) – James Caan sheds his tough-guy persona here to star as George Schneider, a New York author who is grieving the loss of his beloved wife Barbara. His friends and his brother Leo (Joseph Bologna) want to set him up with new women, and when he meets actress Jennifer (Marsha Mason), he falls hard and fast. In no time, they get married, but George has trouble allowing himself to enjoy his new life and wife while he hasn’t finished mourning the last one. George can be charming one minute and sullen the next, but Jenny is patient and plucky and in for the long haul. This movie was written by Neil Simon, who based the story on his own experiences and was married to Marsha Mason. It contains some of the witty repartee for which Simon known, but not enough to lift the veil of gloom. I give it extra points for co-starring Valerie Harper as Jenny’s best friend. 2½ cans.
99. Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956) – Paul Newman plays middleweight champ Rocky Graziano, whose roughneck style in the ring came from his life on the streets on New York. Rocky Barbella, his real name, was a hoodlum growing up, someone the cops knew by name and sight, always in trouble, hanging out with a gang (including a young Sal Mineo), looking for the next score and backing down from no one. His bleak future grows yet bleaker when he is drafted into the Army. Intolerant of any kind of authority, Rocky simply leaves one day, but eventually he is captured and sent to Leavenworth to do hard time. There, one of the inmates sees him fighting and tells him to come by Stillman’s Gym when he gets out. With nothing better to do, Rocky shows up one day, offers to spar, refuses to train, and devastates opponents with a brutal right hand. Along the way, he changes his name to avoid bad publicity, actually finds a nice girl to marry him, and turns his life around completely. Newman is all twitchy and jumpy as Rocky and scores a knockout performance as the champ. This movie does make you wonder why anyone would want to be a professional fighter, although in Rocky’s case, he would have been fighting in the streets for much less of a payday. 3½ cans.
100. Arbitrage* (2012) – Richard Gere has eased handsomely into silver-fox parts. Here he plays Robert Miller, millionaire head of a family-owned investment firm, a philanthropist and philanderer who is trying to sell his company before it crumbles around him. He is altruistic and generous – and desperate about that little $400 million hole in the books. Like the part he played in “Unfaithful,” he commits a reprehensible act and acts amorally, relying on others for the cover-up, which he professes to do because too many people would be hurt. Never mind the crime and its ultimate end, he’s just ever so thoughtful. I kept waiting for more suspense or twists, but instead had to watch the dogged, Columbo-like detective (Tim Roth) try to crack the case by harassing the young man Miller enlists to help him, who the detective figures will crack. I haven’t seen Gere this emotional and frustrated since Louis Gossett Jr. tormented him as Private Mayo in “An Officer and a Gentleman.” Here, he is neither. 3 cans.
101. Inherit the Wind* (1960) – Esteemed barristers Henry Drummond (Spencer Tracy) and Matthew Harrison Brady (Fredric March) face off in a sweltering Hillsborough, Tennessee, courtroom in this movie based on the Scopes Monkey trial. Young teacher Bert Cates (Dick York) is accused of teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution to his high school classes, much to the consternation of the religious right, led by Reverend Brown (Claude Akins), whose daughter is engaged to Cates. The drama examines every angle of the story, of religious fervor, of scientific analysis, of the relevance of the Bible and the role of religion and in the laws and how they are administered in the court system. Tracy delivers a stellar performance, matched in histrionics by the more volatile March, in this thought-provoking drama. Preachy at times, it nonetheless holds your attention, though I confess I can’t imagine this film having a wide commercial success, given the subject matter. It is a classic that I finally took time to see. 4 cans.
102. A Star Is Born (1976) – Barbra Streisand’s prodigious talents and prominent proboscis are on display in this tale of a singer whose star is on the rise while her husband’s career hits the skids. Kris Kristofferson plays John Norman Howard, a rock star whose performances on stage are fueled by drugs and alcohol and whose life is in free fall when he meets club singer Esther Hoffman. With his help and connections, she becomes a star and marries him, despite his warnings that he’s probably not good for her in the long run. The end of the movie is inevitable, but just seeing Barbra in her curly perm and pantsuits and hearing her sing “Evergreen” makes the movie worth seeing – but no more often than once every 20 years or so. 3 cans.

Random Thoughts for September 2012

I got a call recently from a company doing a survey, and the woman launched immediately into a question about the number of people in my household. I countered with a question of my own: "What is this survey about?" She said she couldn't tell me the sponsor, but I told her I wasn't interested in the sponsor, just in the nature of the questions so I would know whether answering them was worth my time. She said it was a matter of national interest. Politics? Religion? Environmental affairs? She said she didn't know the answer to my question. So, someone is calling to ask me questions in a survey and she doesn't know the nature of the questions? I'll pass, I told her.

Speaking of unwanted phone calls, is anything more annoying than the robocalls that tell you there is nothing wrong with your credit card but that they want to talk to you about getting a lower rate? Once I actually pressed the key to speak with a rep to tell him that it is illegal to call someone on the Do Not Call list and I wasn't interested in the services of his company. He wouldn't give me the name of the company or let me speak to a manager. Instead, he launched into a string of profanity the likes of which was rather startling. Rather than hang up, I proceeded to goad him by complimenting him on his colorful vocabulary, asking him if he had to undergo special training to master this impressive skill and telling him that his parents must be so proud of the career he was pursuing. All the while he kept insisting I should perform physically impossible activities. I think if I were him, I'd rather take tolls at the Lincoln Tunnel. I don't think there's much of a future in his line of work.

Before I went on Weight Watchers, I used to crave chocolate. Now I crave fruit. And chocolate. But not together, please.

“The Hunger Games” has a whole different meaning in this house, though it is all about survival in our respective worlds. Eat less, move more.

One of the advantages to losing weight - and there are too many to list - is that I can now throw my clothes in the dryer and not worry that they will shrink. In fact, I actually have to throw some things in and hope they WILL shrink, or they will be too big for me after one wearing. I know now that when I buy new things to keep the tags on so I can always take them back if they are too big by the time I am ready to wear them. Kohl’s is especially good about returns.

How did my iron ever fit in the original box? I store it in there now and despite working every angle, it is impossible to get it back neatly into the box. How did it come that way?

Why is the hair on my legs so much more noticeable when I have no access to a razor? I can sit by the pool and count all the strays I missed when I shaved them the last time. Not that I can remember when that was.

Do you ever get a song running through your head that drives you crazy? They call them "earworms," I'm told. Today I had two: "Ring My Bell" (probably because it is played while I do aqua aerobics) and Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative" (probably because while exercising to "Ring My Bell" we discussed perogies. Get it?).

There is so little food in my house sometimes that when I open the refrigerator, it looks as if I either am moving that day or just moved in.

I don't watch golf on TV, but I caught the end of a tournament recently. I don't understand how the golfers can tell where the ball lands when they are so far away from it. Is it the roar of the crowd? The crowd would roar for a good shot, but how can you tell if the shot is merely good or if it goes into the hole? Especially if it curves 40 feet and lands completely outside your line of sight.

Are you still using the knives, kitchen gadgets and towels you got as shower gifts or when you first moved out on your own? If so, isn't it time to replace them? You don't need a bridal shower to venture into the housewares section on your own and step up your game. BTW, the things I most often use in my kitchen are a pair of tongs and a spatula when I am cooking, cutting boards (individually designated for fruit, vegetables or chicken), and a spreader, which tells me I eat too many carbs if I am always spreading something on them.

I am busy walking outside these days, but even there, I have my rules. I don't like to backtrack. I have to find routes that let me keep walking but without turning around and passing the same way going home. Don't think this is easy. I do the same thing in the supermarket. No backtracking allowed.

When I was young, all kids wanted to be firemen or teachers or baseball players. I wonder if today's kids aspire to work for a paper shredding company or a storage facility.

What happens to all those houses with solar panels when there is no sun? No heat? No electricity? How about the street lights? Is that why Hillsborough seems so dark at night?

Speaking of night, here's some advice: Don't get locked out of your house at night. The locksmith who comes to help you has you over a barrel. It's not like I wanted to spend the night on my front porch, and it's not like I went out for a walk without my key. The front doorknob lock just froze, stranding me with - thankfully - a cell phone. $400 later, I was in, the lock was replaced and rekeyed to work with the existing deadbolt and key and all is well. But the next time I get locked out, I'll try to do it during the daytime.

Whatever happened to mail boxes? I walk all over my side of town, up and down numerous residential streets, and I have yet to find one. Meanwhile, the local post office here in Hillsborough isn't open for business until 10 AM. Really? Yes, you can throw a letter into the mailbox in the parking lot, but don't try to go inside to mail a package on your way to work. I know the USPS is in financial straits, but if the post office isn't open convenient hours, people will find another way to mail their packages. And that won't put $ in the coffers of the USPS. I just said that so I could use the word "coffers."

Is your brother-in-law's brother also your brother-in-law - but once removed - or do you simply refer to him as my brother-in-law's brother?

I can't believe I have been out of college for 40 years. How is that possible when I am so young?

What's with all these stink bugs? They are the slowest bugs I have ever seen. I'll find them hanging on the edge of a lamp or crawling slowly across the floor, making it easy to scoop them up and give them a ride to the toilet. If you crush them, they live up to their names and STINK. I pay the exterminator over $300 to spray the house to keep them out. I don't know where they came from, but I wish they'd go back.

Everybody cleans the house the day before the cleaning lady comes, right?

I've lived in this house for 5 years now and still am not used to all the noises. The humming refrigerator, the busy ice maker, the wine fridge, the attic fan, the furnace/air conditioner - and that's not counting the washer, the dryer, and the birds and the crickets. It's no wonder I have trouble sleeping.

My sister and I had a recent conversation about pillow tickings. Do people even know what they are (they are pillow covers that zip over your pillow to protect it. From what, I’m not sure.) We use them, wash them and swear by them to protect our pillows, but I wonder, do young people know what they are? Do people still have them/buy them/wash them/use them? Wow, I do have too much time on my hands.

Have you seen the gigantic eyeglasses athletes and stars are wearing these days? I have a few old pairs that are the size of a windshield but not nearly the contemporary style, so I can't wear them. Why do I still have them? I have no idea.

To me, wearing a hat is a commitment. Once I put one on – which I do every time I go out for a walk – I know my hair will be affected in some way, and probably not in a flattering way at that. So once I wear a hat, I have to wear it the rest of the day. It’s a commitment.

If the 80s ever come back, I am ready. I have lots of double-breasted suits with pleated pants and huge (football player huge) shoulders. If they ever remake the TV show “Dynasty,” they can put me in charge of wardrobe.

I use I Can't Believe It's Not Butter (Light), but, unfortunately, I can.

Tina's August Movies

Between the Olympics and social obligations, I only had a chance to see 7 movies in August, including two on Lifetime TV, thereby breaking my rule against watching movies with commercial interruptions. Next month I will try to do a better job. Numbering picks up from the previous month, and movies marked with a * are ones I haven't seen previously.

89. In & Out (1997) – Kevin Kline stars in this funny farce about a high school teacher/drama coach who is “outed” at the Oscars by a former student who wins the award for best actor (and the scenes of his movie are hilariously bad). About to marry a fellow teacher (Joan Cusak, who almost steals the show), Kline vehemently denies the charge that he is gay, though he is forced to examine his love for all things Streisand and whether he can forego dancing to “I Will Survive.” Tom Selleck, a TV reporter assigned to the story in rural Greenleaf, Indiana, reveals that he, too, is gay. Debbie Reynolds and Wilfred Brimley play Kline’s parents and Matt Dillon is the Oscar-winning actor in a story that poses the question, “Is everybody gay?” All I know is that everyone is laughing, because this is a funny and charming movie. 4 cans.
90. Hope Springs* (2012) – Whenever there is a Meryl Streep movie out, you go to see it full of hope that it will be memorable, outstanding and entertaining. “Hope Springs” qualifies on the lowest rung of that scale. Meryl and Tommy Lee Jones are an old married couple in this “romantic” comedy, going through the motions of a dull and drab life together in their empty nest. He comes down for the same breakfast every day and silently reads the headlines while she serves him. In the evenings, he falls asleep in the recliner watching the Golf Channel before retreating to his bed in the guest room, while she pines for intimacy, romance and any conversation that doesn’t involve someone’s tax returns. Realizing they need help, she signs them up for a $4000 week of couples therapy in Maine, which he insists is not only completely unnecessary – isn’t the fact that they have been married 31 years enough to show they have a successful marriage, he ponders – but way too expensive. She decides to go anyway, and he reluctantly joins her. Steve Carrell is completely wasted in the role of the sincere and helpful therapist who gets the recalcitrant couple to do things they haven’t done in years – and possibly ever (and I was more that a little uncomfortable watching Meryl stoop to some of the assignments). I wish there had been more comedy here – can you imagine Bob Newhart as the therapist? – but any movie with Meryl starts with at least one can. Jones is a good match for her, as grumpy as she is sincere, but overall, despite a few humorous moments, there is a lot of pain to witness here. OK, but not great. Sorry, Meryl. 3½ cans.
91. Anywhere But Here* (1999) – Susan Sarandon and a very young Natalie Portman play mother and daughter Adele and Ann August. Flighty Adele moves her 14-year old from her familiar surroundings in Wisconsin to Beverly Hills, despite the fact that they can’t afford to live there. The eternal optimist – except when she takes to her bed in a fit of depression – Adele is determined to make their meager existence better, even if it means lying to do so. Who is the mature person in this relationship, you wonder. Sarandon and Portman give outstanding performances as the eccentric mother and the sometimes sullen teenager. Ann realizes she needs to break free of her mother, but Adele is not about to let go easily. I somehow had missed this movie that I always had wanted to see, and I am happy I finally caught up with it. 3½ cans.
92. J. Edgar* (2011) – Leonardo DiCaprio is J. Edgar Hoover in Clint Eastwood’s biopic about the man who led the FBI for nearly 50 years. Fiercely loyal to the agency and protective of the U.S., Hoover became more powerful than virtually anyone in the country. He pioneered the establishment of a federal registry for fingerprints and championed the federal legislation on kidnapping after conflicts with NJ law enforcement during the Lindbergh baby’s disappearance. A vengeful man, he didn’t hesitate to take credit for things he didn’t do or to establish an enemies list that even Richard Nixon could envy, tracking the private lives of anyone who disagreed with him or crossed him. Ironically, he had a long-term relationship with a man he hired at the FBI, Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer), all the while railing against homosexuals. This movie depicts a zealot who abused his power absolutely, answered to virtually no one yet remained devoted to his mother and his job. DiCaprio looks more like Philip Seymour Hoffman than Hoover, but he does a credible job, looking angry enough to burst at the seams throughout the movie. It was hard for me to separate my disdain for Hoover from the credibility of the movie, but Eastwood and DiCaprio do a good job of shedding light on a very dark man. 4 cans.
93. Air Force One (1997) – Harrison Ford plays the very brave and resourceful president of the U.S., who is forced to outwit, outplay and outlast the bad guys who take over his plane in this action-adventure. Indiana Jones as president, I guess. Glenn Close plays the VP, manning the Washington contingent and trying to deal with terrorist Gary Oldman as he systematically executes the passengers on the aircraft. Who knew Air Force One was so huge? There are sets of stairs, conference rooms, a huge office and lots of places to run and hide, which helps the president in his retaliation against the terrorists. I’m not a big action fan, but having the action in a confined space that no one else can enter makes this story an intellectual as well as physical fight. I hadn’t seen it since it appeared in the theater 15 years ago, and I’m probably good for another 15 before seeing it again, but as action movies go, this one really takes off. 3½ cans.
93. & 94. Fatal Honeymoon* (2012) and Natalie Holloway* (2009) – I don’t generally watch Lifetime TV’s heroine in distress movies, but I was familiar with both of the cases on which these dramas were based, so I watched them back-to-back one night when nothing else was on. Both are based on stories of attractive young women whose fate is sealed when they find themselves with sociopathic guys who will do them harm and refuse to tell the truth. “Fatal Honeymoon” is the story of Tina Watson, a Southern beauty who falls for Gabe, a manipulative creep whom her father (Harvey Keitel) immediately recognizes as the wrong guy for his precious daughter. Gabe marries her then hauls her off to Australia for their honeymoon so they can scuba dive around the Great Barrier Reef – despite her lack of experience as a diver and her expressed fears. She mysteriously drowns, and there is plenty of evidence that he either disconnected her air supply or, as a certified rescue diver, should have been able to save her. Her father pursues the case vigorously, eager to see his son-in-law of 11 days pay for what he is sure is his daughter’s murder (his motive? Collecting on the life insurance policy her urged her to take out but which she ultimately did not do.). In “Natalie Holloway,” Tracy Pollan delivers a gritty performance as Beth Twitty, the anguished mother of 18-year old Alabama high school graduate Natalie, who goes off with her friends and classmates on a celebratory trip to Aruba, meets Joran Van der Sloot and is never seen again. Desperate to find her, Twitty arrives in Aruba and takes on the lax investigation by garnering as much media attention as possible to force Joran to tell the truth. Neither of the parents in these movies can possibly be satisfied with the outcome of their cases, so there is a strong parallel here. And the lessons learned are that kids who drink can end up as tragedies, and parents who worry too much are probably right. 3 cans a piece.
95. Zorro the Gay Blade* (1991) – Sometimes when someone recommends a movie highly I worry that it cannot possibly live up to the hype and that I will be disappointed. This was definitely not the case in this campy and outrageous version of Zorro, with George Hamilton playing the title role and also playing the hero’s twin brother, “Bunny.” Hamilton is all arched eyebrows and megawatt smiles as he attacks this role with more relish than you can find on all the hotdogs at Nathan’s on July 4th. Whether facing off against his arch enemy, the autocratic altalde (Ron Liebman, delightfully evil) or fending off advances from the altade’s wife (Brenda Vaccarro – remember her?), Hamilton is dashing and dazzling. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Mel Brooks directed this romp, and it is almost on a par with his brand of inspired lunacy. Lauren Hutton chips in to the hilarity as a woman out to do good who falls in love with Hamilton. There are duels galore, lavish sets and costumes and enough of a “pronounced accent” that I might just have to see it again to catch all of the good lines in missed. I urge any of you “pipples” who may have missed this gem to rent it or catch it on TV. 4 cans.