Nifty Fifty

At Weight Watchers we have a saying: “Every ounce counts.” That’s why I show up at every Tuesday weigh-in with shaved legs, trimmed nails, and, if I needed a haircut anyway, I will have had it done the day before. I won’t wear earrings or my watch, and I even skip the usual moisturizing process. I figure that not only will the lotion add weight, but that the dry skin flaking off my legs might just help me on the scale.

All that trickery – and following the program – has finally paid off. I am now down 800 ounces. For those of you who are math challenged, that’s 50 pounds, or approximately the size of a sturdy toddler.

Don’t get the wrong idea. Unless I have a sudden growth spurt, I will continue to be way over the recommended weight for my height. Any doctor seeing me for the first time would tell me I have to lose weight, not knowing I started 50 pounds ago. This process isn’t like “The Biggest Loser,” the TV show that takes obese people, puts them on a ranch and subjects them to trainers who bully them into incredible weight losses each week. This is a slow trip from one end of the scale to another, one that requires attention to every single decision involving food.

For someone accustomed to eating daily from the four food groups – cake, candy, cookies and chocolate – I have had to rely on Weight Watchers to help me change my bad habits. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I miss every one of those groups.) But Weight Watchers practices tolerance, too. As long as you stay within your daily allotment of “points,” you can occasionally treat yourself to something yummy. In fact, it is better that you do, so you don’t just fall off the wagon and quit over a Hershey bar.

I’ve done Weight Watchers before – and so has every woman in my group. But this time it seems to be sticking. Maybe I reached the end of my rope, hit rock bottom and realized I was running out of excuses and time. Now I know that I am in this for life and I am finally heading in the right direction. This is one of the main reasons I retired, so I could concentrate on my health. Never mind that I gained 20 pounds first.

I have learned that if you kind of follow the program, it kind of works. But if you really follow the program, it really works. And, actually, it isn’t all that bad. I eat plenty of food each day and just have to make sure I write everything down and stay within my points. It’s not like it doesn’t count just because you didn’t write it down. Before this, just writing down everything I ate would have required pulling an all-nighter. It’s just possible that I was eating too much, you know?

The benefits of my loss are measurable. I wouldn’t say I am bounding up the stairs, but my knees don’t ache anymore. My first time seeing a basketball game at the Prudential Center I had to ask someone if the seats were that much bigger than they are at Rutgers or whether my ass had gotten that much smaller (a bit of both, I was informed). I did so much more work around the house and pool this summer than I was able to do in previous summers because I had more energy. This all makes sense since I am no longer lugging 50 pounds of dead weight around with every step. I can even tie my shoes better.

As my WW leader put it, every five pounds we lose is the equivalent of a brick. The way I see it, the three of us at WW who are around 50 pounds down now collectively have lost a small patio.

These days, as I promised myself, I have been busy shopping in my closet. I have made numerous trips to the basement to gather up the smaller-sized jeans and pants and put away – or, in some cases, give away – the bigger clothes. I can fit into the suits I wore before I retired, though I have eliminated the ones with the huge shoulder pads that look like Linda Evans’ wardrobe from “Dynasty.” Some of the suits are too big now, which is a great feeling. One pair of pants that I tried on was still too tight to wear, so I stuck a note on the hanger that read “Not yet.” By the time I tried them on again, they were ready to be labeled “Yet.” Now they are about to make the trip to the basement, where they will be stored with the clothes labeled “Bigger Sizes.”

I also bought new clothes to make sure I would have things to wear as my body got smaller. Some of these were returned before I even wore them because by the time I got around to wearing them, they were too big. I have a new relationship with the Return desk at Kohl’s, and I wisely keep all tags on garments until I am ready to wear them (is that where the term “ready to wear” originated?).

I set a goal of losing 50 pounds prior to the start of the Rutgers Women’s basketball season on November 13, and I met that goal. But the fact that my butt will fit into the seats at the RAC isn’t nearly as important as the fact that on my most recent trip to the endocrinologist, she eliminated one of the three drugs I was taking for diabetes. One out of three is a good start. Maybe I will get to the day when I am no longer considered diabetic and I can get off all of those medications. That would be the best news.

So, this is not the end of the story. I still have a long way to go, but at least I am on my way. I see light at the end of the tunnel – I just hope it isn’t the high beams from a Drake’s Cake truck filled with Devil Dogs. I have installed a force field around my car so that it cannot possibly turn into the parking lot of the nearby strip mall that is the home of Five Guys, Baker’s Treat and a candy store. I will continue to show up every Tuesday to Weight Watchers and exhale before I get on the scale. After all, every ounce counts.

Tina's October Movies 2011

I saw just 8 movies in October, with all but one a new movie for me. Numbering picks up from last month, and movies I had not seen previously are marked with an *.

128. An Education (2008) – British schoolgirl Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is not your average student. The 16-17 year old plays the cello, excels in Latin, speaks French and plans to study at Oxford. But first she meets mysterious and wealthy David (Peter Saarsgard), who innocently picks her up and not-so-innocently proceeds to expose her to art, music and a faster crowd than her schoolmates. Is he as charming as he seems, even winning over her stern and disapproving parents? An interesting story that takes place near London in the swinging 1960s, “An Education” shows that life has many lessons and not all education takes place in school. 4 cans.

129. Ides of March* (2011) – Politics is a dirty business, as this political drama so clearly points out. Populated by a bevy of alpha males, the Democratic presidential primary in Ohio pits Pa. Governor Mike Morris (George Clooney, who also co-wrote the script and directed) against an opponent willing to court Republicans and independents and make deals the Governor refuses to make. His media adviser Stephen Meyer (Ryan Gosling) feels like his horse is sure to win the race. However, when Meyer is approached by the campaign manager (Paul Giammatti) for the opponent, he’s too flattered to turn down an inappropriate meeting. The plot is less about the battle between the candidates and more about the war of conscience vs. ambition, of values vs. pragmatism. The intriguing story is well played by Gosling, Giammatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman as the campaign chair who values loyalty above all else. Clooney has more of a supporting role as an attractive candidate whose values seem impeccable. I detest politics, but I liked this movie. 4 cans.

130. The Jerk* (1979) – Somehow, for all these years I managed to miss this early Steve Martin comedy, directed by Carl Reiner. Martin is the poor white son of a poor black family who sets out to seek his fortune. A good-natured simpleton, he is enthusiastic and appreciative of any opportunity he receives. I cannot imagine anyone other than Steve Martin playing this role in a movie of such inspired lunacy. He may be a jerk, but he is an endearing one. 4 cans.

131. Light in the Piazza* (1962) – Yvette Mimieux is luminous as Clara, an innocent young woman traveling in Florence with her devoted mother (Olivia DeHaviland) when she meets a handsome young Italian man (George Hamilton) and falls madly in love. Sounds like this story is headed for a happy ending, until you learn that there is something just not quite right about young Clara. Can she grow into the young woman of her mother’s dreams and live happily ever after or will her limited mental capacity become apparent to her would-be suitor? Should her mother protect her and stop the budding romance or allow her to blossom as best she can? This was a sweet movie and showed a side of Olivia DeHaviland that reminded me a bit of her role as Melanie in “Gone With the Wind.” The most amazing part of the movie was seeing a virtually tanless George Hamilton, who brims with enthusiasm and charm as he courts Mimieux. She plays her part with gusto and without guile. 3 cans.

132. Prayer for a Perfect Season* (2011) – There is no more bitter rivalry in sports than the one between New Jersey’s catholic high schools, St. Anthony’s of Jersey City and St. Patrick’s of Elizabeth. Located just miles apart, the two schools face each other on the basketball court each year to determine the best team in the state, or, last year, as shown in this HBO documentary, in the country. St. Pat’s, coached by Kevin Boyle, plays a national schedule but still has to compete in the county and the state tournaments. This film takes a close look at Boyle and his stars, focusing primarily on Kentucky-bound senior Michael Gilchrist. This is high school sports at its most intense, with Boyle presiding over a bunch of boys turning into men, while his chief rival, the legendary St. Anthony’s coach, Bob Hurley, stands in the way of his perfect season. This film whetted my appetite for the upcoming basketball season with a compelling story and some pretty slick moves on the court. 4 cans.

133. Footloose* (2011) – Though I missed the swagger of Kevin Bacon in this remake of his classic ‘80s performance as Ren McCormack, big-city kid in a small town, I really enjoyed this version. The tradeoff is that the new Ren, Kenny Wormald, can actually dance, as can Julianne Hough, the “Dancing With the Stars” alum and replacement for Lori Singer in the role of the rebellious preacher’s kid. Dennis Quaid didn’t fit the role of the father as well as John Lithgow in the original, and the new Willard in this version (Miles Teller) is a much superior dancer to Chris Penn from the original, but the sequence of Ren teaching him how to dance is still fun to watch. The story is the same, centered around a tragedy that causes a small town in the south to ban loud music and dancing, which only makes the kids want to dance even more. The details have been tweaked a bit and updated for today’s audience, which means giant boomboxes have been replaced by iPods. The music is still fun and the dancing joyful and exuberant. The only downside was voiced by my friend Dee, who said, “Too much drama, not enough dancing.” That hasn’t changed from the original, but we all would have loved a little more action on the dance floor. My only observation about both versions of this movie is that for a town where kids aren’t allowed to dance, they sure have a lot of great dancers! If you missed the original, go see this one anyway. 4 cans.

134. Emma* (1996) – Gwyneth Paltrow stars in the title role of Jane Austen’s 19^th century novel about a young society woman determined to match up all those in her social circle. This is a story of social mores, miscommunication between potential couples and how to survive a boring life by paring off your friends. Paltrow – so very young and thin here – plays the part with grace and humor. Jeremy Northam co-stars as her good friend Mr. Knightly. The cast is uniformly good – but, if I fall asleep not once but FOUR TIMES while watching a movie, it’s safe to say it didn’t really hold my interest as intended. 3 cans and a long nap.

135. Hoffa* (1992) – Jack Nicholson, devoid of his trademark killer smile, portrays tough guy Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa in this biopic tracing the rise and fall of the union leader. Hoffa led his union with determination and bravado, building the Detroit local one member at a time on his march to the top. He defied his enemies, including several explosive face-offs with Attorney General Bobby Kennedy and the Justice Department on his way to an eventual jail term. I am always amazed by the magic way Hollywood turns actors into look-a-likes of the people they portray, and Nicholson here resembles Hoffa in the way I remember him before his 1975 disappearance. Nicholson chews the scenery as the fiery leader in a movie directed by his co-star Danny DeVito. Both men deliver the goods throughout the movie. 3½ cans.

Testing, Testing

Remember the “good old days,” when the only tests we feared were in 8^th grade math? Those days are long gone, and nobody gets to this stage of life without going through a bevy of tests, some meant to diagnose existing health problems and some meant to figure out what could go wrong before it does.

If you stop by the local radiology place, you can ask to see a collection of pictures of virtually every part of my body. In fact, you could probably reconstruct my body slice by slice from the images gleaned from CAT scans, ultrasounds, etc. I’ve had more Doppler reports than Al Roker’s weather. I’ve even had Doppler ultrasounds taken of both of my shins, one after I fell on the ice and one after this summer’s unfortunate jet ski incident. I’ve had injections of dye and I’ve consumed gallons of chalky white barium, all to get better pictures of my thyroid, kidneys and abdomen.

Sometimes you have to drink copious amounts of water before you have certain tests. I recall getting through one such test and leaping off the table the second it was over to sprint to the nearest restroom. Other times you have to collect samples of bodily fluids and refrigerate them to take them to the lab. I always worry that when I have the dreaded 24-hour urine test I will come in a quart low. And besides, do you want to find a huge orange jug in the refrigerator when you reach for your morning juice? (This story virtually assures than none of you will be staying at my place or dropping by for breakfast any time soon.)

If you have gotten this far in life without a colonoscopy, you don’t know the joy of having a team of people drug you and invade your body with a camera. That’s one photo album of mine you won’t find on Shutterfly. My luck was having the nurse on my last colonoscopy be a high school classmate of mine. “Haven’t seen you in so long,” she said as she greeted me. “Now, turn over on your side.” She got a completely different view of me than she ever had in gym class.

I must add here that having a colonoscopy undoubtedly saved my life, so I encourage everyone to get one after the age of 50. Since I had not yet reached that threshold in 2000, my doctor demurred, recommending instead a sigmoidoscopy to diagnose my persistent intestinal problem. However, having seen Katie Couric’s televised colonoscopy, I insisted, and when the test revealed a tumor that was determined to be malignant, I asked the doctor whether he would have found it with a sigmoidoscopy. No, he admitted, telling me that I had colon cancer. Now I have colonoscopies at the prescribed intervals, and, thanks to Miralax, the prep isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Besides, the anesthesia used during the procedure gives me the best half hour of sleep I get all year.

There are the routine maintenance things we have to do, like the annual mammogram and Pap smear for women, and the tests we take because nobody can figure out what is wrong. I get bronchitis in the winter, but I consistently fail the strep test. Now I’m having a problem with my left eye, which led to blood work, an ultrasound of my carotid arteries and an echocardiogram (no problems there to report, I am happy to say). After the latter, the technician informed me that I didn’t have a broken heart. Apparently he had not seen the Yankees lose in the playoff game the night before.

I always ask for a copy of the test results, because that way I can share the report with my other doctors. I’m still trying to get over the report that referred to my kidneys as “unremarkable.” I know that’s supposed to be a good thing, but it sounds a little insulting to me. My kidneys are great – or at least I think so.

When I am at the office of a new doctor or a lab and filling out the forms, it takes longer now to check off all those boxes, since I cannot simply stay in the “No” column anymore. And it is getting harder to remember when I had my last tetanus shot or pneumonia vaccine. I’ve already had this year’s flu shot and I’m now vaccinated against shingles, though the doctor said I could still get it, but the case would be less severe than if I hadn’t been inoculated. I’m sure there is a test for that, too.

Once the doctor suspected a friend of mine might have pneumonia and wrote her a referral for a test that read “Ro-pneumonia.” For years, we thought that she had a form of pneumonia called “Ro-pneumonia.” It wasn’t until years later when my doctor told me she was sending me for tests to “rule out” some condition or disease or another that I finally realized that “Ro” anything is meant to rule it out.

I have friends who have gone for MRIs of their brains and reported that the doctors didn’t find anything. Now, there’s a scary thought. I went for an MRI once and decided that it was actually meant to torture the victim – the patient, that is – with the distracting noise of the loud and annoying machines designed to make you forget the medical problem that brought you there in the first place. Who thinks up these modern-age medieval torture chambers anyway? I remember being in a long tube once for a body scan and feeling like I was being buried alive. At the end, they concluded that I did have a body. And there are pictures to prove it.

Tina's September Movies

I saw 17 movies in September, with British and baseball films leading the way. Numbering picks up from last month, and movies I had not seen previously are marked with an *.

111. Brooklyn Dodgers – The Ghosts of Flatbush* (2010) – Rarely has a sports franchise been as beloved as the Brooklyn Dodgers. This HBO documentary traces the period from the integration of baseball with Jackie Robinson joining the Dodgers in 1947 through the club’s futile losses to the arch rival New York Yankees in the World Series of the early 50s to the greatest loss of all – the team’s 1957 departure of Brooklyn for sunny Southern California. Owner Walter O’Malley was determined to replace aging Ebbetts Field but all-powerful NY boss of all things built Robert Moses repeatedly denied his request for a prime parcel of land. O’Malley pulled the team out of Brooklyn and crushed the faithful fans forever. 3½ cans.

112. Dead Poets Society (1989) – Robin Williams is inspiring poetry teacher John Keating at a private and conservative boys prep school in 1959, but he is anything but conservative. His passion for poetry and learning bring an unconventional approach to the classroom, and the boys love him for it. The young men in his charge are impressed and influenced by him as they begin to think about learning in new ways. They resurrect Keating’s “Dead Poet’s Society” from his days as a student at that school, and they convene secretly to write and recite poetry that reflects their souls. The normally manic Williams gives a restrained performance as the enthusiastic educator in this moving and rich film. It was fun to see the very young faces of Ethan Hawke, Josh Charles and Robert Sean Leonard as the students. 4 cans.

113. Sarah’s Key* (2011) – Kristin Scott Thomas stars as American journalist Julia Jarmond, married to a Frenchman and living in Paris. Assigned to write a piece about the 1942 round-up by French authorities of thousands of Jews who were detained and then shipped to Auschwitz, Julia learns through her research that her husband’s family’s apartment belonged to one such family. When the police appeared, 10-year old Sarah hid her 4-year old brother in a cupboard and kept the key, assuring him that she would return. Her harrowing story is told in flashbacks juxtaposed with Julia’s research. This is a powerful film about a period not well known, and, while the story is fiction, the events of the time are accurate. Secrets long kept are revealed and the fate of Sarah and her family is discovered in a way that profoundly affects Julia and the audience. My friend Dee said she had never been in a theater where the audience was so silent. An intense and excellent film, but not one to take lightly. 4 cans.

114. Running Scared (1986) – Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal are Chicago cops tracking down drug lord Gonzalez (Jimmy Smits) in this gritty and clever movie. The story is almost secondary to the byplay between the buddies. Crystal didn’t have this much chemistry with Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally.” There’s plenty of great action, including a car chase on the L-line. I’m not typically a fan of action movies, but this one tempers the action with good-natured and snappy repartee between the very appealing leads. 4½ cans.

115. The Madness of King George* (1994) – No wonder poor King George is mad. It is 1788, the Brits have lost control of “the Colonies,” Parliament is trying to reduce his powers and his feckless son won’t even wave to the crowds – his primary job, as the King sees it. And that says nothing about the formal attire and bad wigs he is forced to wear. The King of England descends into true madness, his mania forcing his minions to chase him around the palace and grounds half-dressed while the politicos – including his insufferable son George, the Prince of Wales – plot to usurp his power. Nigel Hawthorne was nominated for an Oscar for his over-the-top portrayal of the crazy king. Helen Mirren stars as the Queen (naturally), and Rupert Everett is his sycophant son in this mad movie. The sets, costumes and locations are gorgeous and the cast outstanding in this historical drama that tells an unusual story with intelligence and a surprising dose of humor. 4 cans.

116. Frances (1982) – Speaking of madness, here is the story of actress Frances Farmer, whose star shone brightly in Hollywood and on Broadway in the 1930s until her strong will derailed a promising career. When independent thinker Frances decides she does not want to be part of the Hollywood industry, her mother pushes her first to continue, and then to a mental institution, because who would be crazy enough to give up stardom? Poor Frances – who seems more angry than insane – is committed to one horrifying place after another, all to “get well,” but which just make her worse. Jessica Lange portrays Farmer with strength and vulnerability and does justice to the love-hate relationship with her overbearing mother (Kim Stanley). Sam Shepard plays the man who loves her and tries to help, but Frances has to learn to live with herself before she can commit to anyone. Parts of this movie are harrowing, but it is worth seeing for Lange’s performance alone. I was disappointed to learn when I first saw it 30 years ago that it was not about Fanny Farmer candy, but I’ll give it 4 cans anyway.

117. Casino* (1995) – Director Martin Scorcese again teams up with Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci in this look at the mob and the casinos of Las Vegas. Gambler Sam “Ace” Rothstein (DeNiro) runs the Tangiers, where the given practice is to skim cash from the operations and pay off the mob bosses. Nicky (Pesci) is the tough guy enforcer, always looking for an edge, afraid of nothing and no one. Sharon Stone plays the charismatic but drug-addicted wife of DeNiro and gives a great performance, especially when she is completely flipping out at her husband. Ace’s anger is mostly below the surface, visible enough to scare most people, while Nicky isn’t quite so subtle. Scorcese paints a vivid picture of these goodfellas, just as he did in previous movies, and the snappy dialog, especially between DeNiro and Pesci, feels almost like improvisation (see “Raging Bull” for a previous example of their work together). If you can tolerate the violence and bloodshed and you don’t mind the language and subject matter (OK, lots of caveats here), you’ll find this movie riveting. 5 cans.

118. The Winning Season* (2009) – Even as desperate as I am to see women’s basketball again, I can’t recommend this clichéd trifle of a movie. Sam Rockwell stars as a loser who takes over as coach of a girls’ high school basketball team, leaving behind his not-so-thriving career as a dishwasher/busboy. Rumor has it that he quit his last coaching gig as a boys coach mid-season, leaving the team in the lurch. Here he takes over a moribund program with all of 6 players, one of whom is on crutches. Predictably, the ragtag team loses its games but gains respect for each other and the coach despite the fact that he drinks, smokes, swears, and is usually politically incorrect. They love him, he loves them, they begin to win, he cleans up his act – until he doesn’t. I so wanted to love this movie, but if it had been a three-point attempt, it would have been an airball. 2 cans.

119. Young Victoria* (2010) – My second English historical movie in a week proved just as good as the first one (see 115 above). Victoria may be young, but anyone who assumes her youth and inexperience make her unqualified to be the Queen of England doesn’t know this resolute young woman well. In the 1800s, Victoria becomes the King’s choice to succeed him as monarch since he has no direct descendants and she is the only child among the King and his brothers. Her mother and her advisor want her to sign away her right of succession so that the monarchy will be ruled by a regent – her mother, the Duchess of Kent. Not so fast, Mom. Victoria reaches adulthood just in time for the King to die and she takes over as Queen, a position she held longer than anyone in history. Her family wants her to marry her cousin George, but headstrong Victoria has her eye on Prince Albert of Germany, who wins her over and becomes her husband. This lavish production, with beautiful sets and costumes, starring Emily Blunt as Queen Victoria and Rupert Freund as Albert, makes you feel like you are part of the palace. I wish I had the money spent on the candelabras alone. 4 cans.

120. Sweet Dreams (1985) – In my second Jessica Lange movie of the week, the actress portrays country singer Patsy Cline. With her deep voice ideally suited for the heartbreak songs of country, Cline had a brief but bright career in the 1960’s. The movie traces her rise from dirt poor woman through the courtship of her hard-drinking husband Charlie (Ed Harris) to her success in Nashville. The drama emanates from the sometimes toxic relationship between Cline and Charlie. The story can best be summed up in the lyrics of Patsy’s hit, “Crazy” – “I’m crazy for loving you.” Indeed. 3½ cans for the performances of Lange and Harris.

121. Conviction* (2010) –Betty Ann Waters (Hillary Swank) and her brother Kenny (Sam Rockwell) grow up as rough and tumble, poor kids. As an adult, Kenny is always in trouble and well-known by the local cops in Ayer, Massachusetts. When a woman is brutally murdered nearby, they immediately focus on Kenny. There’s plenty of blood at the scene of the crime, and the blood type matches Kenny’s, there are a few witnesses who claim he confessed to the crime, and he is convicted and sentenced to life. Convinced of her brother’s innocence, Betty Ann decides to get her college degree and go to law school so she can become an attorney and represent him. Her dogged determination and refusal to take no for an answer from anyone lead her through the case. Swank plays the lead with relish, giving a no-nonsense performance. Rockwell is much better in this movie than he was in the one I saw two days earlier (see 118 above). Their performances and the fact that the story is true bring gravitas to the film, which otherwise might have been only marginally better than a Lifetime movie. I thought MY sister was the best sister in the world, but she can’t hold a candle to Betty Ann Waters. Sorry, Nan. 4 cans.

122. A Room With a View (1985) – A decidedly Victorian point of view pervades this English movie by the esteemed Merchant-Ivory team. Helena Bonham-Carter is Lucy Honeychurch, a young (19) woman uncomfortable with expected behavior and looking for more. Accompanied by her chaperone, played by the magnificent Maggie Smith, she travels to Florence and meets George Emerson, a young British man (Julian Sands), with whom she is smitten enough to share an illicit kiss. Oh, goodness! Returning home, she agrees to marry the extremely proper Cecil Vyse (Daniel Day Lewis), but she still has her doubts. This genteel love story is the anti-action movie, with only a spirited game of tennis and a romp in the river punctuating the proper British atmosphere. It moves slowly, but with plenty of charm. 4 cans.

123. Hearts & Crafts* (2011) – This French documentary takes a look at the artisans who create high quality leather goods, glass and jewelry. Each painstaking step of their respective processes is carefully executed to ensure the beauty and quality of their pieces. They take justifiable pride in each stitch, each stroke, each step they take to turn out a finished product, knowing that no two hand-crafted items will be exactly the same. These are people who revel in jobs some of us might consider mundane and most of us could never do. 3 cans.

124. The Remains of the Day (1993) – This must be my month for British movies, and few are better than this one. Anthony Hopkins plays Stephens, the butler and head of Darlington House, a British estate. Emma Thompson plays Miss Ventin, the housekeeper, a woman accustomed to being in service but with a mind of her own. Stephens is reserved yet demanding, following the traditions of service ingrained in him by his butler father. Nothing will deter him from completing the tasks at hand to the highest level. That means not being distracted by the obvious interest of Miss Ventin or the failing health of his father. It also means staying out of the controversial views of his employer, a German sympathizer who tries to rally support for the Germans prior to World War II. There are many moving moments here, with the added poignancy of seeing a healthy and handsome Christopher Reeve as an American politician. In the end, this is a love story, albeit an unrequited one. 4½ cans.

125. The Heart of the Game (2005) – I have to see this movie at least once a year. It is a documentary, shot over a seven-year period, that traces the girls’ basketball team at Roosevelt High School in Seattle. Led by an unconventional coach, university tax professor Bill Ressler, the girls on the team learn to understand teamwork, trust and success. Oh, and they play some pretty competitive basketball, too. The star of the show is Darniella Russell, who joins the team in season two of the movie and brings a combination of immense, natural talent and headstrong ways that challenge Coach Ressler. This is the female version of “Hoop Dreams,” and it is every bit as good as that classic documentary. It almost makes up for the dismal “Winning Season” I saw earlier this month. If you ever want to be inspired or root for the underdog, have I got a movie for you. 5 cans.

126. Moneyball* (2011) – Brad Pitt and a real story about baseball? How could this movie go wrong? Let me count the ways. Baseball tradition is shaken to its foundation by Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), a GM with a limited budget whose best players bolt for more money as soon as their contracts are up. Armed with a young Yale economics major (Jonah Hill) as his sidekick, Billy begins measuring the talent and potential of his players in a completely different way, eschewing the advice of his grizzled scouts and their talk of the “five-tool” player. Himself the victim of unfulfilled expectations and a major league bust, Billy comes to realize that his scouts may be valuing the wrong things as they assess potential and sign young players. Running a small market team, Billy doesn’t have the budget to compete in the marketplace but he can scour the statistics to find suitable and less expensive replacements for his disappearing stars. He is like a stock picker, always looking for the next big thing that today is undervalued. This movie assumes you know and care enough about baseball to understand the language and the practices that have endured for decades that Billy ignores. I found it slow and plodding, and Billy himself an enigmatic character who cannot stand to watch his own team play. Pitt is fine as the lead, but I wonder if this movie would even have been made if he hadn’t signed on for a part that any competent actor could play. If he gets an Oscar nod for this role, I’ll spit chewing tobacco. As a movie, “Moneyball” barely makes it above the Mendoza line. Look it up. 3 cans.

127. Catching Hell* (2011) – Two baseball movies in a row for me! The latest entry in the excellent ESPN documentary series, this film examines the fateful night in 2003 when a fan in the stands at Wrigley Field altered the course of Cubs history. The long-suffering Cubs fans, never having won the World Series, were ready to celebrate victory in the National League Divisional Series against the Marlins when diehard Cubs fan Steve Bartman reached out to snare a foul ball and deflected it away from a probable catch by Cubs outfielder Moises Alou. The fact that the Cubs shortstop made a costly error following the play, and that the pitching staff gave up 8 runs and lost the 6^th game seemed to be of no consequence to the angry mob of Cubs fans. Bartman had to be escorted by security out of the not-so-friendly confines of Wrigley Field. His identity was revealed, his house surrounded and his life made into a living hell. To his credit, the only time he ever publicly addressed his role in that fateful night was to issue an apology, as he declined to capitalize on his notoriety. This film examines the mob mentality and shows the play from every angle imaginable but never addresses why the umpires failed to rule fan interference. It also covers Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner, who famously let a ground ball go through his legs in the 1986 World Series, and how he was vilified for his miscue. Cubs fans are still waiting for a World Series triumph, while Red Sox Nation has forgiven Buckner after two subsequent World Series Championships years later. 4 cans.

Wanted

“You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant,” the old Arlo Guthrie song goes.

Today you would forsake Alice and substitute Craig, as in Craig’s List.

For those of you unfamiliar with Craig’s List, it can best be described as the plainest website this side of Google Search, an on-line version of the old Classifieds you are used to seeing in the newspaper, and, since it is free, it is huge. There is an enormous listing of almost any item, service or desire you might have – even a few I won’t mention here.

Need tickets for a sold-out concert or game? No problem. Looking for a clown for a birthday party? Plenty of listings to suit your needs. A new pet? Meet Russell, the Jack Russell terrier that belongs to my nephew’s friend. His mother got Russell on Craig’s List.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I have neither bought nor sold things on Craig’s list, but I know many people who find this service extremely useful for both buying and selling. When a friend’s husband installed two permanent shade structures on their deck, he removed his old awning and sold it on Craig’s List. When another friend’s daughter had baby number three and needed new baby furniture, she turned to Craig’s List and found great stuff and good prices.

All of that makes sense to me. You want to buy, someone wants to sell. Let’s make a deal.

What amazes me is the plethora of odd items and services available on Craig’s List.

OK, I know about the Craig’s List Killer, and I’m not thinking about those kinds of services. But take a look at the job postings and you’ll find positions you probably won’t see in the Sunday classifieds in The Star Ledger. For example, I spotted a listing for a magician’s assistant. The description calls for a “people pleaser” but doesn’t require that the applicant be willing to be sawed in half, just that the assistant be female (isn’t that discrimination?) between the ages of 23-40 (again, discrimination?), “not shy, willing to work weekends and must work well with children.” I’d throw in “must not mind disappearing on cue.”

Although I fancy myself a good proofreader, I doubt I would qualify for the position of “Bible proofreader.” Hasn’t that project been finished already? Maybe I would be better suited for a position as a “social media guru,” except that it involves blogging about domestic oil initiatives. So much for that.

With all of the CSI-type TV shows on these days, the call for a forensic accountant might attract some interest, though the applicant doesn’t have to deal with blood samples, just spread sheets.

Just as interesting as the job postings is the list of items for sale. In the Babies & Kids category (which makes me wonder if someone is actually listing their children for sale), I spotted this: “Little Tykes Cook N Clean Kitchen – New – Great for Boys.” I’m guessing they bought it for a son or daughter who didn’t like it, which is why it is still new. But great for boys? Why boys in particular?

Other new items included a brand new iPhone “one hour old” – and aging by the minute. Did someone accidentally buy two of these? Why not bring it back to the store for a refund if it is so new? I don’t suppose it accidentally fell off a truck, do you? Or did the teenager for whom it was purchased make Mom or Dad so mad that they took it back in a fit of rage and now want to sell it? There’s a million stories on Craig’s List.

There are plenty of used items available, though I wonder who might be in the market for a used toilet described as “white, possibly circa late 1940's to 50's, tank cracked but sealed.” Is someone really going to buy a cracked toilet from 60 years or more ago? Just wondering. I also spotted a listing for a “jail broken phone.” I couldn’t help picturing Tyra Banks or Russell Crowe as the original owners of that one.

There are numerous categories of items for sale on Craig’s List, so you can find everything from punching bags to pianos, motorcycles, fuel oil and autoharps. Now I know where to go the next time I need a “Mardi Gras Disco Ball Bead Necklace” for $3. You can buy a car, a mattress or the entire contents of a women’s clothing store. I noted many items for $1, such as baseball cards, a WWE Adult Size championship belt and a 2007 Consumer Reports Buying Guide. I doubt the latter is worth a dollar four years later.

Frankly, I’m not sure I am brave enough to have a total stranger show up at my house for this type of transaction, especially if I am selling something worth $1. Maybe it would be worth taking the risk for a $500 item.

There is plenty of free stuff, things people are just dying to get rid of. Some people list “curb alerts,” so on-line shoppers can hop in their cars and traipse to someone’s house to see the stuff that they couldn’t get rid of at their garage sale. These curbside listings are convenient for the sellers – assuming someone comes and takes their junk away. But that reminded me of when I had to dispose of my mother’s comfy old couch. I had to call the town and purchase multiple stickers to put on the couch and then get help hauling it to the curb – only to see it scooped up for free by someone looking for an old couch. I was not permitted to put it at the curb for pick-up without the stickers – or so I was told by the town authorities – so I had to buy them first. Where was Craig when I needed him?

I know people who know people who have gotten everything from apartments to jobs via Craig’s List. But mostly what I got from Craig’s List was a reason to smile and a topic for this month’s blog entry. And by the way, it’s free. I’ll just leave it at the curb.