Marching On!

Spaghetti on day 2 is so much better than spaghetti on day 1. But if you refuse to eat leftovers, you'll never know that.

Basketball can warm your heart one minute and break it the next. Only true fans can survive the dichotomy and live to cheer another day. Rutgers fans can really understand.

I don't even know what this job posting means and it is a position in communications – the field in which I spent my entire career!

"The primary focus will be to support the implementation of the Finance roadmap plans through successful minimum viable product (MVP) deployment cycles within CCER/A2R in order to maximize end user and partner engagement and minimize resistance. This individual will engage closely with key stakeholders within the workstream teams, such as Global Process Owners (GPOs) and workstream leads, to support stakeholder assessments and the development and execution of the change strategy to enable sustainment of new ways of working and behaving in Finance."

2023 marks 17 years of retirement for me and I am still loving every minute. If you add that to my 34 years of work, you will come to the conclusion that I am OLD!

If I put the garbage out the night before the pick-up or early on the pick-up day, the truck shows up after 2 to collect it. But if I don’t put it out early, the truck is there by 11 and I miss it. Today I went out with the trash at 11 just as the truck was picking up from the house before mine. That’s perfect timing!

I never display less confidence in myself than when I have to pull my car into the carwash and get the tires on those little tracks. Are my tires in the right place? What happens if they are not?

If there is nothing resembling corn in corned beef, then what’s reason for corn in the name?

I just cleaned my glasses. So that’s what I have been missing!

GS – General Soreness – is the new term used by the NBA to excuse players from playing who don’t have a specific injury, like a broken ankle. Who would have thought I had something in common with professional basketball players? I’m all full of GS, and I won’t be playing in an NBA game either!

That reminds me – does everyone make sounds when getting up from the couch or chair or is that just me? I’m not talking about knee joints with that snap, crackle and pop. It’s more like a big sigh, a major groan or a plaintive wail. Anyone? Anyone?

If you swap 2 letters, Venmo becomes VENOM. Just thought I’d mention that.

Shouldn’t a meteorologist be someone who studies meteors and not someone like Sam Champion, who tells you the weather report (which is often wrong anyway)?

You know you’re getting old when the doctors you have gone to for a long time start retiring. Or worse – your hair stylist. These people are essential to us and it is hard to replace them!

It took me this long to realize that I don’t dislike drinking water. I just dislike drinking water that is not COLD – the colder the better.

I was thinking to myself that it was Saturday but it felt like Sunday and then I thought, “What does Sunday feel like?” I’m not sure.

If there are PERFECT strangers, are there also IMPERFECT strangers? How would you tell them apart. Is that like saying something is VERY unique? Unique doesn’t have a sliding scale; something is either unique or it is not.

I brought my car in for service recently and was reading my Kindle while waiting for it. I couldn't keep my eyes open! I wonder if I can book an appointment there for 3 am so I can get some good sleep because my bed doesn't work as well as the loud waiting room at the Mercedes dealership.

Kudos to the staff at my second home, ShopRite, for somehow taking down the behemoth display of chips, soda and other snacks for the Super Bowl and quickly replacing it with a Valentine’s theme full of fresh cut flowers and heart-shaped candy boxes. The speed with which this was accomplished was surpassed only by the Super Bowl itself, where the playing field is converted into a massive concert venue for halftime and converted back into a playing field mere minutes later. I’d like to see a behind-the-scenes documentary on how that gets done!

The problem with magazine subscriptions is that the issues just keep coming. I have subscribed and unsubscribed to the paper copy of Vanity Fair at least 3 times. Then it is offered for a year for $8 and I can’t resist. I probably have issues squirreled away to read from 2007.

I signed up for a service to block unwanted calls from my home phone. It works great for the most part. But now I want to modify it to allow calls from a certain number and I can’t remember the name of the service or how to make that change. It is mighty quiet around here! 

I have never been to Staten Island. I have been THROUGH Staten Island on a few trips to Brooklyn, but I have never thought of Staten Island as being part of New York. To me, New York is Manhattan and Manhattan only. After all, there are tons of neighborhoods in Manhattan. Isn’t that enough? Do we really need Staten Island to be part of the City? No offense to Staten Islanders, but it is really more like a pass-through.

There is no better way to tell you the age demographic of the senior community where I live than to let you know that in our clubhouse we have a “CLOAK” room. Not a coat room, and no cloak and dagger, but an actual cloak room where, I suppose, you can store your cloak or other outerwear while you participate in the activities there. I remember a cloak room shared between two classrooms in elementary school, a place to hang your carcoat with those toggle, barrel-shaped “buttons” and your leggings – not the kind people wear to exercise, but thick, wool leggings girls had to wear under their skirts when there was snow because there were rarely snow days back then. But I thought Cloak rooms were long gone. Not here!

I thought that the price of orange juice was too expensive so instead of buying a carton, I spent $6 on 6 oranges and squeezed my own. Of course, that yielded 24 ounces for my $6 instead of 64 ounces that were in the carton, but it was freshly squeezed and hey, that’s way too much math!

Among the many things I don’t know or will never understand are:
•    How to play craps.
•    What hand beats what hand in poker? Full House? Straight? Huh?
•    Military ranks – where does a Colonel fall? And why do we pronounce it with an R instead of an L?
•    And for a sports fan, I know absolutely nothing about sports betting, the point spread and anything other than who won or lost. I barely can play the lottery without help.

It is always awkward when someone makes some food they consider their best work but you don’t care for that food, regardless of how their version turned out. Then you are forced to taste it, and if you say it was good, you are forced to eat more of it. You’re lucky if the person doesn’t make it specifically for you the next time. I feel that way about oatmeal raisin and gingerbread cookies. I don’t like either, so please don’t make me waste my calories on them. I know your intentions are good, but I don’t like them and don’t want to be forced to eat either. I don’t trust a cookie that appears to be a good, old-fashioned chocolate chip until you realize that what you think are chips are actually dried up grapes!

Three years ago this month we began scouring store shelves for toilet paper, avoiding public places and sanitizing our mail. We started baking and cooking in mass quantities because we needed food and there wasn’t much else to do as Covid took over our lives and an eventual quarantine was declared. I even tried baking challah; the outcome was acceptable but it looked and tasted nothing like the real thing. Then we were making masks out of old socks (in my case) or scrap material whipped up on the sewing machine (surely NOT in my case). People could not gather for funerals, to visit loved ones in the hospital or to see new grandbabies. There were no vaccines, no treatments and nothing but fear as reports showed hospitals with trucks full of dead bodies. You couldn’t go anywhere; even most doctor visits were virtual. I filled my gas tank four times in 2020, including once BEFORE the pandemic became official. Now, nearly everyone I know has had Covid. Some have died, some have been very sick and some still have the after effects, but many have survived and have ventured out again on planes, trains, ships and automobiles with confidence that it isn’t so bad. Looking at the millions of people who died or who were hospitalized, I can’t agree completely with that assessment. As someone with diabetes who is prone to bronchitis, I’m more susceptible, so I have taken the recommended precautions, most of which were good practices to begin with (such as washing my hands as soon as I come into the house). Yesterday I was treated for my macular degeneration and the retina place no longer requires patients and staff to wear masks. I wore mine anyway, as I do practically any place I need to be. I finally stopped wearing one to basketball games halfway through the season. I sincerely hope the worst is behind us. I know one thing for sure: No one will ever think of these times as “the good old days.”

February 2023 Movies & More

All of the programs here are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 as the top rating. Those marked with an asterisk are new to me. Numbering picks up from previous months. 

16.  Capturing the Killer Nurse* (2023, Netflix) – Most of the action in his intriguing documentary takes place in my hometown of Somerville, NJ, at the local hospital, then known as Somerset Medical Center. Charles Cullen was known by his colleagues to be an excellent nurse, but when people turned up dead on his watch, a few folks began to have suspicions about him. Nurse Amy, his most ardent defender, was sure he had nothing to do with the fatalities – until evidence of lethal injections was discovered. SMC was not the only place where these events had occurred, but management at the hospitals where Cullen previously worked did not feel they had enough evidence to accuse him. This is a fascinating story about a man who chose nursing as a way of helping people and then took it on himself to hasten their deaths. 3½ cans.
17. 80 for Brady* (2023, at the movies) – It is a pretty safe bet that the accomplished actresses headlining the cast of this comedy – Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sally Field and Rita Moreno – will not be adding new awards to their trophy cases for this movie. But that’s OK, because if they wanted to have fun making a movie and working together, they probably accomplished that in this little charmer. The story is simple: Four golden girls who gather to watch football and worship Tom Brady each Sunday during the NFL season decide they want to go to the Super Bowl. Somehow they win a contest and tickets and off they go to Houston for the 2017 game. Hilarity and misadventures ensue. These ladies have won Oscars, Tonys, Grammys and Emmys, so let’s enjoy them as they enjoy doing work for fun for once. The whole thing is not completely made up since it is based on four women who did follow football and adored Brady, but regardless of the story and the outcome, it is an enjoyable day at the movies. 3½ cans.
18. Legend: Bill Russell* (2023, Netflix) – This aptly-named two-part documentary covers the towering achievements of Bill Russell, a man whose storied basketball career is just a part of his life. An 11-time champion as a coach and player for the Boston Celtics of the NBA, Russell was beloved – but couldn’t buy the house he wanted in Boston because he was Black. His career ended in 1969, so he played during a time of overt discrimination, when he and his Black teammates were not allowed in some cities to eat in the same restaurants as the white members of the team. Russell became a civil rights activist, while maintaining his elite basketball skills and success. His battles with Wilt Chamberlain were epic. The debate of who is the goat of basketball – Michael Jordan or new all-time scoring leader LeBron James – should not overlook an important pillar of the game, Bill Russell. 4 basketballs.
19.  Tar* (2022, Peacock) – Lydia Tar is an accomplished orchestra conductor looking to elevate her already notable career with a series of shows, a forthcoming book, lectures and ways designed to celebrate her achievements. But her life is a mess, far from the ordered way she approaches music. She and her wife have a young daughter and work together at a symphony orchestra in Germany, but that doesn’t stop her from flirting with other women, something that will come back to haunt her. This is a troubling look at an artist who is never satisfied with her work, her life and the people in it as she exerts her considerable power over every aspect and person in her universe. It reminded me of much lighter fare, of Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada,” the story of an impervious, vicious boss of a fashion magazine. Here, without any of the latter film’s comedy, Cate Blanchett brings this fictional character to life in what could be an Oscar-winning performance. 4 cans.
20.  Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence* (2023, Hulu) – Picture this: you’re a college student at a good school – or any school – and your dad comes to visit after being released from jail and decides to stay, moving into your dorm room and hanging out with all of your friends. I feel like this must have been a bad sitcom at one time, but it is actually a true story with no comedic overtones. Larry Ray is a manipulative, charismatic and deplorable man who gets these bright students to believe that bad things have happened to them in their past and only he can save them. For 10 years he ran every aspect of the lives of these young people, who willingly accepted him as their leader without realizing that they were in a cult. This 3-part documentary on Hulu is made even more credible because Larry taped EVERYTHING, so viewers can see and hear how he tormented these young people, alienating them from their families and breaking them down. I felt so bad for them, as they were convinced only he could save them. He’s in prison now for the next 60 years on a variety of charges, and I can’t help but wonder if his victims will ever truly get their lives back. Here’s just another example of truth being stranger than fiction. 4 cans.
21.  The Whale* (2022, Montgomery Cinema) – There are some movies that are hard to watch, and this one falls into that category. Charlie (Brendan Fraser) is a morbidly obese recluse who is eating himself to death, saved only by female friend Liz (Hong Chau), a nurse who helps him make it through many incidents (he refuses to go to the hospital). He is an intelligent, well-read online college instructor who refuses to use his image online for his students to see. He has an ex-wife and 17-year-old daughter who hate him for abandoning the family (it’s way more complicated than that) and keeps getting visits from a young missionary determined to share literature from a religious organization to help people save themselves. But does Charlie want to be saved? Does Charlie want to live or is he literally eating himself to death? Can he be saved? What about his life is worth saving himself for? Only reading an essay on Moby Dick seems to bring him comfort while he grabs his chest in pain, waiting for the end to come (several times in the course of the movie). In his case, Charlie IS the whale, a massive man who appears beached on his couch, unable to get up or move around without assistive devices. The director (Darren Aronofsky) makes sure we draw that parallel by showing Charlie at his worst whenever possible. I kept thinking that this movie seemed like a play since the action is confined to Charlie’s dark, dismal apartment; later I read that it was written first as a play. This is a grim drama with little humor or poignancy, both of which are provided by Charlie himself. Don’t be surprised if Fraser takes home the Oscar. 4 cans, mostly for Fraser’s remarkable performance.
22.  Sharper* (2023, Apple TV+) – I spent the first 30 minutes of this movie wondering when something was going to happen and the rest of the movie saying to myself, “what is happening here?” Who’s conning whom? This is a stylish and suspenseful mystery where there really aren’t “good guys” in the traditional sense, and by the last third of the movie, I wasn’t sure how this was going to end with all the twists and turns. It will keep you guessing. Julianne Moore is terrific and this is the first time I have seen Sebastian Stan, who was also excellent. If you’re paying for Apple TV and looking for something to make that subscription worthwhile, check this one out. Sharper is rarely dull. 4 cans.
23.  Empire of Light* (2022, HBO) – The always reliable Olivia Colman plays theater employee Hilary, a lonely woman willing to do whatever is needed at the cinema in a coastal English town where she works. Doing anything includes having passionless sex with her married boss (Colin Firth). The theater is dying, as are Hilary’s hopes for a better life. Then along comes young Stephen (Micheal Ward), an eager employee whom Hilary takes under her wing – among other places. As a Black man, Micheal faces constant harassment from skinheads and others when he is out in public. Only his budding relationship with the much older Hilary and his developing love for the theater bring him comfort. Stephen is beaten up physically, but Hilary is beaten up mentally, coping with the demons that make it difficult for her to improve her status in life or get a new job. This movie is presented with tenderness but it is impossible to escape the loneliness prevalent throughout the film – and isn’t that the point? If you want a really outstanding movie about a theater, watch “Cinema Paradiso” instead. 3½ film reels.
24. Sometimes When We Touch* (2023, Paramount TV+) – OK, admit it – you have danced your way through Abba’s “Dancing Queen,” sung “Maneater” along with Hall & Oates, and sung “Hello” with Lionel Ritchie. Welcome to Soft Rock, a music genre that followed girl groups and pure rock in the 70s and was ignored and left for dead by the rise of the videos of MTV – where video almost DID kill the radio star. This three-part documentary tracks the rise, fall and resurrection of the genre, from the Captain & Tennille (who didn’t really like each other) to Air Supply to Ambrosia to Michael McDonald. Many of the artists in the soft rock genre have had long and very successful careers in music, outlasting punk rock and grunge while continuing to deliver sometime cheesy songs about love and loss. The Carpenters were an early success here with the incredible voice of Karen Carpenter and the musical genius of her brother Richard establishing the duo with hits like “We’ve Only Just Begun.” So take a trip down musical memory lane and enjoy some of the groups that even rappers and hip hop artists admit they loved (and sampled in their own music). 3½ cans.
25.  Somebody I Used to Know* (2023, Prime Video) – Ally (Alison Brie, who co-wrote) returns to the town she left and the boyfriend she left behind when she headed to Hollywood to do a “reality” TV series. Now the series has been canceled and she’s headed home, wondering what her ex Sean (Jay Ellis) has been up to in the years since she chose her career over him. Sean’s been busy – now planning his imminent wedding to Cassidy (Kiersey Clemons), who reminds Ally of how carefree she used to be. Ally is friendly but passive aggressive, interfering with the wedding in order to win Sean back while pretending she likes Cassidy and is happy for Sean. The rom-com has slipped in stature with this annoying look at relationships. Will they get back together? Will Sean marry Cassidy? I’m not sure you really will care by the end of this movie. I didn’t. 2 cans.
26.  The Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal* (2023, Netflix) – This three-part documentary delves into the events resulting in the death of a South Carolina teenager at the hands of one of her friends, Paul Murdaugh, who was inebriated to the point that he could not safely drive his boat, crashing into a bridge abutment. The Murdaugh Family, headed by his father Alec, ran a powerful law firm and instantly plotted a way to get Paul off from the charges against him. But that’s not all, and I won’t reveal more details in case you haven’t been tracking the other part of this case on the news. I felt sorry for Paul’s friends, who recognized that he was drunk but couldn’t wrest away control of the boat that he crashed. Most of them will be scarred psychologically for life – but there’s so much more to see. I’m sure that this series will turn out to have a sequel or at least more episodes to wrap up the rest of the story, which you would not believe if you didn’t know it was true. 4 cans.

February Funnies

I just read a report about a bank robbery in my town. The alleged thief was tracked down in the cab he used for a ride. Huh? A well-marked taxi is probably not a good choice for a getaway car. My friend suggested he needed the money to pay for the cab.

If I eat Pepperidge Farm Goldfish for lunch, can I claim it was seafood?

Oh, how I love a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice!

Can someone please tell the residents of my senior community that it is OK to drive faster than 10 MPH in the development? Thank you.

I have been following an exercise series called “Easy Fitness Over 50” online and on YouTube. The exercises are designed for older people – like me! – to improve their core strength, fitness and mobility and they require no special equipment to do. So far, I have seen no improvement. I guess just watching isn’t enough. I need get off the recliner and actually do the exercises!

My HP printer must be British. It lists my print options as black & white or “colour.”

You make an appointment with the doctor and you get an email message directing you to sign on to the practice’s portal, where you will find a message that simply thanks you for making the appointment. You are directed to the portal for your test results and to order refills on your prescription. With all those capabilities, why did I have to fill out a paper form at my cataract surgeon’s office that lists my name, SS number, address, meds, etc.? I reminded the receptionist that the doctor operated on me twice in 2022, so surely they must have my information. Nope, you have to fill out the form anyway. Then she said that if I need refraction, I had to sign that I would pay for it. Show of hands, do you know what that means? I didn’t and told her. (It is when they make you look through the lens machine and say whether you can see better with A or B. Who knew?) PS, I didn’t need refraction and my insurance would have covered it if I had needed it. But filling out the form – including the many prescriptions I take daily – was a pain!

You know you are too impatient if you can’t wait for the soft close cabinet doors to close.

We can all stop feeling guilty about not having homes as neat and well-organized as home expert and author Marie Kondo, who promoted her advice to get rid of things that don’t “spark joy” in your home. She now admits that with 3 kids, even her home gets messy. Of course, her idea of messy and my idea of messy are probably not the same. I wonder if she found 5 potato peelers in her gadget drawer like I did. Truthfully, none of them sparked joy!

With all of the technology used in our world and in sports, why do football official still use a chain to measure 10 yards for a first down? Shouldn’t there be lasers that could do that?

I watched the Super Bowl (sorry, Eagles fans) and was waiting for the sheer excitement of the halftime show with Rhianna. But instead, I was a nervous wreck watching her on that giant floating platform and trying to see if she was secured by a harness so she wouldn’t fall and die in front of 110 million people. Then I was distracted by what turned out to be – as I suspected – a baby bump! Was she, wasn’t she pregnant (she was and is)? So maybe that’s why the performance lacked energy. She tired!

I’m not a devotee of Super Bowl commercials, but a few stood out for me this year. I particularly liked Bradley Cooper in a pink T-Mobile shirt cracking up with his mother and I loved JLo finding hubby Ben Affleck working at the drive-in window at Dunkin’ Donuts and telling him to “grab me a glazed.” I especially did not like or appreciate the spots promoting Jesus (“He gets us”) and Scientology. On the Jesus ones, I don’t have a comment on content, but a question about how much good could be done with the money spent on making the commercial and airing it if it were used to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, help the homeless. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that all toilets should be high ones and all bathrooms should have grab bars near the toilet and in the shower. Yes, I am officially OLD!

I have the absolute luxury of being able to declare a “reading day,” a time when the TV is off, my phone is put aside, and I dive into what I hope is a juicy and rewarding book. I don’t like reading for short periods before bed because I comprehend content better in larger chunks. I realize what a gift this is, with no distractions and the ability to spend a solid block of time reading. I am very fortunate indeed.

Speaking of reading, my reading glasses broke the other day in the middle of a Zoom call. Luckily, I had a spare pair, but then I decided I needed a back-up for the back-up pair, so I checked for reading glasses on Amazon. That evening I ordered a set of 6 pairs, all different colored frames, all one prescription, with blue light blocking, for $16 (free shipping). The pair that broke cost me $32 – for ONE PAIR!  The new set of 6 pairs arrived less than 24 hours later. I would not have been able to get to Walmart or CVS to look for a new pair that fast. That service is absolutely amazing and I’m wearing them now.

Tom Brady retired (again) from football. Or is this just a plug for his new movie, “80 for Brady?” He retired this year on the same date he retired last year – when he still had a wife and kids living with him. Sure, he’s the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All-Time), but he lost his family because he wanted to hang out with a bunch of sweaty guys in a locker room for another year. And before we start a Go Fund Me for #12, be aware that he signed a $375 million, 10-year contract with Fox Sports to broadcast NFL games. Much respect but go for real this time.

On a cold, nasty, miserable day, I want to crawl into the clothes dryer, get warm, come out shrunken in size and with no wrinkles. 

When you lose an earring, what do you do with the one remaining? Keep it around out of respect for its departed companion? This doesn’t often happen to me, but when it does, I’m at a loss – so to speak.

Dear Boar’s Head – Just so you know, I won’t be going to my local supermarket and demanding Boar’s Head products from the deli. Your products are fine – no better or worse than other brands of deli meats and cheeses – but do you think that I either work for you in marketing or that my asking ShopRite to switch from Black Bear or whatever brand they use is going to make them change their provisions purchasing? Are you willing to compensate me for marketing your products? Not too thin on the turkey, OK?

I feel sorry for the men I see in ShopRite, following their wives around, not even getting to push the cart, no less to make the decisions on what to buy. They look Zombie-like, having given up on their freedom and their time. Good luck, guys.

I have been going to the indoor pool in my active senior community. After my workout, I sit in the sauna and dry off. I’ve never been in a sauna without thinking, “Man, this is HOT!” And now, instead of just smelling like the pool chemicals, I also carry the odor of smoking wood.

As I pass the gym in our clubhouse and see all of the white-haired people working out, I always wonder if these are the same people who worked so hard to get out of gym class in high school. Thankfully, no horrendous gym suits are required. Remember them? The gym teacher cared more about whether your gym suit was ironed than the actual gym class.

The best new thing I have bought in months is a shower head with a hand sprayer that attaches to the base magnetically. When it is attached, it functions as a regular showerhead, but I can easily reach it to detach and use it as a hand sprayer to clean the shower doors. And I cannot reach much, so this is perfect for me.

The news is that Bed Bath & Beyond is closing many of its stores and headed to bankruptcy. What am I supposed to do with my collection of those enormous coupons I have hoarded for years? I guess Marie Kondo would say I can ditch them since they no longer bring me joy. In fact, they bring me sorrow, because I loved wandering around BB&B, checking out the towels and bed coverings and finding things that were definitely BEYOND (like margarita mix). I still haven't recovered from the loss of Lord & Taylor. This is a tough one.

January 2023 Movies & More

 Welcome back. The movies and programs included here are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top rating. The asterisks indicate programs I had not seen previously.

1. Dionne Warwick: Don’t Make Me Over* (2023, CNN) – I started the year on a bright note with this documentary about the life and music of Jersey’s own Dionne Warwick, a legendary singer known for such hits as the title song here. She was related to Cissy and Whitney Houston, so there is a huge amount of talent in those genes. I didn’t realize what a force of nature she is, especially as an early AIDS activist with her song “That’s What Friends Are For,” which raised money for AMFAR. Early in her career she was the muse of songwriters Burt Bacharach and Hal David with memorable tunes like “Walk on By,” “I Say a Little Prayer,” “Do You Know the Way to San Jose?” and “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again.” She used her stature to summon gangsta rappers to her house to object to the misogynistic lyrics in their songs – and Snoop Dog and others showed up and listened. Listing all of her hits would take too long, but “I Know I’ll Never Love This Way Again” can’t be left out. 4 cans and lots of hits.
2. The West Wing (HNL Network) – I binged this entire series during the Covid quarantine, so I didn’t need to watch it all over – but I mostly did as it aired on Headline News Network between Christmas and New Year. It is beautifully crafted, written and acted with such authority and skill that the characters seem real. It also reminds us of how smart you should be to occupy the office of the President of the United States, a trait that seemed absent in the real-life presidency of the last administration. Agree, disagree with me, I don’t care. This is an outstanding series. 4½ cans.
3.  9-5 (1980, HBO) – This delightful satire of the workplace in the 1980s is highlighted by the work of its triumvirate of actresses – Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton, who also wrote the catchy title tune. Though it veers into silly fantasy, it manages to convey the nature of a workplace where men who were trained by women bypass them in their careers, where women are called and treated as “girls” and servants, and where men rule. If you don’t get it, you didn’t work in a large company environment in the 1960-90s. These ladies exact their revenge on the sexist boss and everyone wins – except good old Mr. Hart (a game Dabney Coleman). 3½ cans.
4.  Rudy (1993, on Demand) – This is probably the best sports picture about an underdog ever made, aside from “Rocky.” If you don’t get a lump in your throat or a tear in your eye at the end, you aren’t human. 4½ cans.
5.  Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street* (2023, Netflix) – This 4-part Netflix series uses reenactments as well as interviews with the principals involved in the fraud perpetrated by investment banker Bernie Madoff on large institutions and people who trusted him with their life savings. The premise – very clearly explained here – is simple: Madoff collected the investors’ money and never invested it. Instead, through an elaborate hoax with realistic looking statements, he duped those people who trusted him, using a Ponzi scheme to pay off old investors with the money provided by new investors. This story is irrefutable evidence that if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Madoff ruined the lives of many people in his nefarious dealings and destroyed his own family. It is a shameful, despicable story but very engrossing. 4 cans.
6.  A Man Called Otto* (2023, At the movies) – You can’t go wrong with a Tom Hanks movie, and this one pulls at the heartstrings. Hanks is grumpy old Otto, busy patrolling the streets of his modest housing development, citing people who leave the gate open or have the temerity to drive on the streets there at all. When young mother Marisol (Mariana Trevino) and her husband and children move in across the street, they are friendly to the grouchy Otto and soon come to lean on him for help. Before you know it, the rigid widower is forced into an unlikely friendship. Hanks and his non-smiling demeanor can still bring a smile to your face. 4 cans.
7.  What Happened to America’s Mayor?* (2023, CNN) – And speaking of famous people named Rudy: This mini-series addresses the life and career arc of Rudy Giuliani, once considered America’s Mayor for his leadership role in the aftermath of 9/11 and now reduced to a screeching, shrill figure so desperate to remain in the public eye that he is willing to compromise his reputation to defend Donald Trump. From a hugely successful role as a prosecutor who targeted the NY Mafia, Giuliani used his fame to run for NYC Mayor with his eyes on the Senate and the White House. Things did not work out as he planned. He never served in the Senate, never became President, never was asked to be the Secretary of State. My lasting images of him are with hair dye dripping down his cheek and standing in front of the Four Seasons Landscaping Company (not the hotel of a similar name) to denounce the 2020 election results. Like his boss, this behavior is megalomania gone wild! I wasn’t sure whether to be astounded or disgusted. 4 cans.
8.  Pepsi – Where’s My Jet?* (2022, Netflix) – John Leonard was a kid just out of his teens when he saw a Pepsi campaign offering prizes for the accumulation of “Pepsi Points” that could be used to buy Pepsi apparel and other prizes. Among the things advertised was a genuine military Harrier Jet. No disclaimer, no small print, no anything appeared in the ad to indicate that the geniuses who came up with the campaign were only kidding. But John wasn’t, and when he came up with the points required, he wanted his harrier jet. He teamed up with Todd Hoffman, an eccentric businessman who liked to push boundaries and was willing to fund John’s expenses, and they started a campaign for him to get the jet. First Pepsi sued him, then he sued back, helped by the now notorious attorney Michael Avenatti, who wasn’t even through law school in the 1990s when the whole story began. I won’t spoil it, but this 4-part documentary is a brilliant indictment of the advertising industry and big business. You absolutely cannot make this stuff up. And I’m glad they brought it to the screen so I could give it 4 cans (but no fighter jet).
9.  A Man Called Ove* (2015, Prime Video) – Since I haven’t read the Frederick Bachman book, I thought the least I could do after seeing the Tom Hanks version of this story (see #6 above), was to watch the original Swedish version. There is hardly a difference in the two – if you don’t count the subtitles – except that I think the Tom Hanks version has slightly more warmth and a bit more humor. Either way, this is a heartwarming story about friendship and loneliness and well worth seeing in any language. 3½ cans mostly since I had to READ the movie!
10.  Masquerade (1988, on some obscure cable network I didn’t know I had) – Rob Lowe shows off his best assets as Tim Whelan, an extremely handsome young yacht skipper who meets the very wealthy Olivia Lawrence (Meg Tilly) and pursues a relationship with her. Tim has a bit of a shady past, and he is having an affair with his captain’s wife (Kim Cattral), but that doesn’t seem to hamper his pursuit of the quiet Olivia. This movie is full of suspense as their relationship deepens despite what looks like bad news for the poor little rich girl. You have to wonder if he actually loves her.  Saying more would ruin the plot, but I can recommend this movie. Tilly is very bland as Olivia, and she looks almost matronly, but Rob Lowe in the 1980s was eye candy for sure (and still…). 3½ cans.
11. The Banshees of Inisherin* (2022, HBO) – I’m coining a new word to describe this odd movie – MELANCOMEDY. There’s plenty of grim melancholy here, laced with a degree of humor in some scenes and the overall premise along with some bizarre behavior and strange happenings. Colm (Brendan Gleeson) and Padraic (Colin Farrell) have been friends forever, living on a small, quiet island off the coast of Ireland. There’s nothing much to do there, so the friends meet up every day for a jaunt to the local watering hole. But one day when Padriac goes to meet up with Colm, his friend tells him the friendship is over. Did Padriac do something to offend Colm? Why the break-up? Viewers and Padriac want to know. Colm just thinks his old friend is dull (which, trust me, he is) and his time would be better spent fiddling around with his fiddle to make music. Padriac is befuddled and he is not about to accept this turn of events without further discussion – which is just what Colm refuses to have. Throw in a town witch, a brutal cop and his dim-witted son, Padriac’s supportive sister who tells him he’s really a nice guy, some beloved animals and a few stray digits and there’s the rest of the story. The acting is effortless, but there is so little dialog that the main characters’ facial expressions are everything. I’d have to side with Colm here – Padriac is a nice guy but dull. And Colm is depressed and too mean to a friend he once valued. The critics loved it. I didn’t. 3½ cans.
12.  You People* (2023, Netflix) – If “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” and “Meet the Parents” had a baby in 2023, this would be it. Jonah Hill, star and co-writer, plays Ezra, a nice, nebishy, white Jewish guy subjected to all kinds of family mishigas by his doting mother Shelley (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and his embarrassing father (David Duchovny). No wonder he hasn’t been able to have a long-term relationship. But then there’s a meet-cute with Amira (Lauren London), an attractive Black woman who seems out of his league. They charm each other and then try to do the same thing with their respective parents, except her father Akbar (Eddie Murphy) isn’t having any of it. Ezra has a podcast and tries desperately to be cool, hip and totally into Black culture (long before he met Amira), but he’s just not making it in the eyes of the stern Akbar. This is a funny movie that skewers social mores and stereotypes, and somehow the relationship between Ezra and Amira works, though I could see him falling for her before I could accept her falling for him. Julia Louis-Dreyfus excels at trying-too-hard-to-be the with-it Mom. 4 cans.
13.  The Pez Outlaw* (2022, Netflix) – Among the many things people collect that I knew nothing about is Pez Dispensers. In this quirky documentary, blue collar worker Steve is an avid collector. Although he has never left the US, he and his son take off for Europe to get to the factory where the dispensers are made and where unsold prototypes abound. Somehow Steve, who looks disheveled and homeless, not only manages to buy a large quantity of Pez dispensers, but he manages to get them through US Customs. The bigshots running the company are not fans of Steve, who outthinks them and goes bigtime into the market with his supply. I don’t know what enticed me into watching this movie, since I never like Pez candies and don’t collect anything, but I’m glad I did. This movie is not for everyone, but I liked the David and Goliath aspect of the story, even as I frowned upon the trademark infringement. 3½ cans.
14.  Dog Gone* (2023, Netflix) – Fielding (John Berchtold) is graduating from college with no real plan for the rest of his life. When he goes to a dog shelter, a beautiful white dog immediately attracts his attention, so he brings him home, names him Gonker and forms a bond with the active dog. He moves back home with his parents (Rob Lowe and Kimberly Williams-Paisley), who tolerate and love them both. But, as the title indicates, Gonker takes off one day and father and son hit the trail to find him while Mom maintains a command center, answering calls and getting people to put up flyers and newspapers to cover the story. In the process, the family becomes closer and more accepting. I’m not an animal lover, but I was moved by the loving relationship between the boy and his dog and how his parents came to see their son in a different light. Based on a true story. 3 cans.
15.  Crazy Rich Asians* (2018, HB0) – This rom-com shows that the rich are different and there are plenty of judgmental people in every culture. When Nick (Henry Goulding) takes his serious girlfriend Rachel (Constance Wu) to his native China for the wedding of his BFF, it is Rachel’s chance to “meet the parents” – in this case Nick’s snobby mom Eleanor (Michelle Yeoh). It turns out that Nick is from a famously rich family (unknown to Rachel) whose members and friends are quick to judge Rachel. After all, she’s only an economics professor at NYU and an accomplished woman herself, hardly marriage material for one of the wealthiest families in China. After the predictable staredowns and calamities, can the couple ever get the approval of the mean Mom and make it as a couple? Very glitzy and occasionally funny. 3 cans.

Blogging into the New Year

Here we go, another year. I feel like we have wasted most of this decade on Covid cases, vaccines, masks and other precautions. Will this be the year things get back to “normal” again – whatever that is? Will I ever feel safe NOT wearing a mask?

I guess I bailed out of the NFL Wild Card playoff game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and the San Diego Chargers too early. Once Trevor Lawrence threw his third interception, I switched to a movie, thinking the Jaguars would surely lose. After the movie, I learned that they were behind by 27-0 before mounting an historic comeback to win by a field goal as the game ended. What did I miss?

If we can command the house lights to go on with Alexa or change the channels with the TV remote, or watch the front door with Ring, or get directions verbally while driving, why is it so hard to search for a program or movie on a streaming service? We are still going line-by-line on that little alphabet box on the TV screen. That technology seems unforgivably antiquated.

I didn’t bother making New Year’s Resolutions this year. I just dusted off last year’s list to start again. You know, the usual stuff – exercise more, eat less, drink more water, get more sleep, have more patience and LOSE WEIGHT. 

If Harry and Meghan want so desperately to get out of the public eye, then why is he doing TV interviews and exposing himself to questions and criticism (I know, he's got a book to sell now that the Royal Family isn't paying him since he's no longer working for the family business)? If you want to be alone, Greta Garbo, simply fade away. Oh, wait, they need to sell themselves for money since they signed some lucrative deals that presumably included juicy trashing of the Royal Family. OK, but then don’t say you want to reconcile if you are bashing your brother, your father the King, and the institution. There’s no going back. Boy, these two are either entirely self-centered or are getting some bad advice – even as the $$$ rolls in.

I didn’t realize how particular I am about things until I found myself making hospital corners on the aluminum foil covering my pan of lasagna.

It’s probably just me, but after years of making Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, I’m still startled when that tube pops open – even when I use the spoon on the seam to make it pop open.

Dear Deer Park: It would be perfectly acceptable to me if you put six fewer drops of water in your 12-ounce bottles so that I could twist open the lid without spilling the contents.

There must be a law that every town in NJ (at least in Central and North Jersey) must have a pizza place/restaurant named Angelos, Alfredo’s, Alfonso’s or Tony’s. 

The most boring job in the world must belong to the lifeguard in charge of the indoor pool in my senior community. But I’m sure that is better than not having it be a boring job, what with all of the senior citizens who take the plunge!

I treated myself to one of those folding carry-on bags. This one has wheels and a handle to help you get through the airport. In the online video ad for it, the woman packing somehow gets a month of clothes into the two main compartments. They must be clothes from a Barbie Doll’s wardrobe, because no adult woman’s clothes over size 0 could possibly fit there. It is, as advertised, light and full of pockets, and it should be a good reminder for me NOT to pack so much stuff when I travel. It will definitely fit into the overhead compartment on an airplane, especially if only the bottom half is used. Now, if I only had someplace to go!

In case you were wondering, HGTV’s “House Hunters” is currently on Season 220, which I think means it has been around since the 1800s, long before TV was invented. 

You know you’re getting old when you get a pile of Christmas cards in the mail but you open the PSE&G bill first.

You know you’re getting old (and decrepit) when you get a season’s greeting email message from the local radiology place. There were about a dozen doctors whose pictures appeared on the greeting; I have never heard of nor seen even one of them. It’s the skilled technicians who take care of me when I am there for scans and ultrasounds. I picture these docs housed somewhere in a bunker, dutifully reading all those pictures of my body parts. So why send me a card? I see the mail delivery person more often! (She did send me a card, but it was more like an expectation of a tip.)

Am I the only one who uses that Tide washing machine cleaner to degunk the machine?

You KNOW I love movies, but during the pandemic I didn’t go (and many theaters were closed anyway). Now I’m back in the theater – but only for the first show, which could be anytime in the morning after 10 AM. That’s perfect for me – hardly anyone shows up (except on half-price Tuesdays), the cost is $4, and it’s way too early to consider buying any sort of movie snacks. 

Whenever I see a recipe that calls for measuring kilograms of anything, I’m out. Who in America measures in kilograms? Is Mrs. Patmore cooking for the gang at Downton Abbey?

I really like my own meatloaf, and I can’t say that about everything I make. Whether I use ground beef or ground turkey, I throw in Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Teriyaki sauce for a little extra flavor. Don’t ask me for the recipe. I never measure anything and may change things at any time. But, Yum!

Does anyone actually use the first piece of bread in the loaf? I figure it’s there to protect the other slices and I always skip it. I KNOW I will end up throwing out the loaf at some point, so I might as well get all of the good (protected?) slices first.

I will never understand nose rings or even studs in the nose. Or any interest in or acceptance of Borat.

There is still a Covid ban on magazines at the retina doctor’s office. When I was there last, the TV in the waiting room wasn’t working. One woman was so desperate for something to do that she hauled the recycling schedule out of her purse and sat there and read it.

Here is one phrase that I am not sure I should trust: “Thoroughly washed” when it appears on the bag of salad or veggies.

I bought something from Amazon that I didn’t need so I decided to return it. I printed out the QR code sent by Amazon and took it to my local UPS store without needing to package or label it. Shortly after I got home, Alexa notified me that my return was accepted and my refund was in process. What a great system! Can we put Amazon in charge of improving the search function on the TV? They already have Prime Video, so they ought to be able to fix it, right?

I started watching a documentary on Netflix called Xanax about the proliferation in the use of Xanax in dealing with anxiety but I had to stop because it was making me too anxious.

I spent hours one recent day updating my list of passwords and websites. No one likes doing this chore, but it feels great when it is DONE! Then I put all of the important dates – like YOUR BIRTHDAY – on my two calendars. Living the dream.

For the 72nd consecutive year I did not go to Times Square to celebrate New Year’s Eve. I cannot imagine being in that overwhelming crowd – and having no real access to a bathroom!  I had a piece of cake and a glass of milk and later turned on the TV in time to see the ball drop so I’d know when the new year began. There was no fanfare beyond some fireworks being set off somewhere in the vicinity. Happy New Year. I’m sure I’ll do the same thing again to usher in 2024.