Tina's June 2021 Movies & More

It is time for another compilation of those movies/TV shows and series that entertained me in June. Numbering picks up from previous months and programs marked with an asterisk* are ones I had not seen previously. Everything is rated on a scale of one to five cans of tuna, and more is better!

80.  The Story of Late Night* (2021, CNN) – I’m old enough to remember Steve Allen, Jack Parr and I certainly know Johnny Carson, the undisputed king of late-night TV. Carson and his competitors and then his successors made 11:30 PM the time when adults watched TV, as the hosts humorously expounded on the events of the day, poking fun of presidents and regular folks, chatted amiably with stars peddling their latest movies or music and relaxed us into sleep time. Today’s late-night stars, such as Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Steven Colbert, have tinkered with the formula, some (Colbert in particular) making the late-night format more acerbic. This six-part documentary series covers the birth of the genre through its middle ages through today, highlighting the fascinating competition between Jay Leno and David Letterman for the host position of “The Tonight Show,” the crown jewel of late night. Today a whole new wave of hosts reflects more of the diversity of the US and bring different points of view to their shows. I no longer regularly watch late night (I stopped when Jay Leno made fun of the OJ Simpson trial) but I recognize it as a unique form of comedy. I have never watched Colbert, Jon Stewart when he hosted “The Daily Show,” Chelsey Handler, Samantha Bee or Trevor Noah. Instead, I can catch clips of their best work online – which is the major change in the format. You no longer have to stay up late to watch late-night TV when you can get it any time of day on YouTube. But thanks for the memories of Johnny at his best with Bette Midler and animals from the San Diego Zoo, of Letterman and his Top 10 lists and James Corden with his hilarious Carpool Karaoke. 4 cans.
81.  Hacks* (2021, HBO Max) – If you remember Jean Smart from her befuddled, funny and warm character Charlene from “Designing Women,” you will not be surprised by her well-honed comedy chops in his series about a fading comedian whose career is largely behind her. Debra has been performing in Vegas for years, using mostly the same act, resembling a cross between Joan Rivers and Debbie Reynolds. When the club owner decides to drop her weekend gig and relegate her to weekdays, she reluctantly agrees to partner with Ava (Hannah Einbinder, the real-life daughter of Saturday Night Live OG Larraine Newman), a bright, insecure writer to juice up her act with some material from this century. Deb is a rich, haughty woman who is accustomed to stardom and having her way even as her star starts to fade. This series takes advantage of the unconventional relationship between the established master and the newcomer as they work together to make things funny and relevant in 2021. I’m definitely planning to watch Season 2 next year. 3½ cans.
82.  Beverly Hills Cop (1984, HBO) – The comedic genius of Eddie Murphy is on full display in this classic from early in his career. He plays Detroit-based cop Axel Foley, who heads to Beverly Hills to track down the killer of his old buddy. Foley is audacious, outrageous and very, very smart, as he works with and against the two cops (John Ashton and Judge Reinhold) assigned to keep an eye on him. He changes character on a dime and can outthink and outrage anyone who gets in his way. Aside from “Trading Places,” BHC is my favorite Eddie Murphy movie. Great ‘80s soundtrack, too. 4 cans.
83.  The White House: The Inside Story* (2016, PBS Documentary Channel) – Did you know that it took 19 years to build the White House? That it burned down practically to the ground during the War of 1812? That President Harry Truman moved out for a few years to allow the complete renovation of the structure, which was about to fall down? This documentary tells it all, from construction to organization, from the people who lived there and tell what it was like being there as a child to many of the people behind the scenes. I have read several books about how the White House is run and I admit to some strange fascination with the details of the People’s House, as presidents have called it. If the subject interests you (and you have a subscription to PBS Documentaries), this one’s for you. 3½ cans.
84.  Human: The World Within* (2021, Netflix) – This is a stunning six-part documentary about the functionality of the human body, told through beautiful animation and fascinating narration by doctors and scientists.  If schools taught human anatomy this way, more students would become doctors and scientists. The individual episodes focus on the nervous system, the senses, food and other equally interesting subjects. The program also features people whose stories are very relevant to the subject, such as a singer who is deaf and a man who lost his arm below the elbow and whose prosthesis is set up to respond in the way a human arm would. The human body is amazing, and so is this series. 4 cans.
85.  Fatherhood* (2021, Netflix) – Comedian Kevin Hart is Matt, a man very excited to become a first-time father with his beloved wife, Liz. But when Liz tragically dies soon after giving birth, Matt knows it is up to him to raise their daughter Maddy, a task even he doubts he is up to doing. His mother-in-law (Alfre Woodward) would love to get her hands on that baby girl, but Matt is determined to tackle the diapers and the complicated car seat and his daughter’s hair on his own. There are some laughs here, and the movie is good-hearted but not as good as Hart’s “The Upside.” Hart’s humor shines through at just the right time and he lends a real air of authenticity to a parent trying to balance work and life with fatherhood. 3½ cans.
86.  The Circle* (2017, Netflix) – In a world where information provides us with countless conveniences, it can also be intrusive and dangerous, as one young employee of an information technology company called The Circle finds out first-hand. Emma Watson is Mae, a young employee who agrees to participate in an experiment the company is conducting for the good of humanity (or some such BS) by wearing a tiny camera and sharing her life online with millions of followers. The consequences affect her parents, an old friend and others in her personal circle, as the power of technology takes over every aspect of her life. Tom Hanks plays the founder of The Circle with a Steve Jobs air of mystery and imagination, and the employees are cult-like in their admiration of his genius. When Mae admitted that she had just three minutes to use the bathroom with her camera off, I almost checked out of the movie, which I don’t recommend but will say is a cautionary tale of a future that is not so far-fetched. 3 cans.
87.  Parkland* (2013, Prime Video) – If you were around in 1963, you will never forget the chaos and tragedy surrounding the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, who was shot in Dallas and transported to local Parkland Hospital. This movie is a dramatization of that terrible time, with attention focused on the Dallas Police, the Secret Service, the FBI and the staff at Parkland, whose doctors tried valiantly to save the President. The real people remain vivid in my mind – Lee Harvey Oswald, his scheming mother, his assassin, Jack Ruby, and Abe Zapruder, the man who captured the motorcade and the shot that killed Kennedy. There are swarms of men in dark suits and white shirts trying to figure out what was happening. I would rather have seen a documentary of the tragic events, but the acting was fine and the inclusion of real footage, including Walter Cronkite’s CBS news reports, made it more genuine. 3 cans.
88.  The Answer Man* (2009, Prime Video) – This story is essentially a Hallmark-type movie with a cast upgrade. Jeff Daniels plays recalcitrant writer Arlen Faber, noted for his highly popular book “Me and God,” which positions him as having all of the answers to people’s problems. Not only doesn’t he have the answers, but he doesn’t want to hear their questions. He is reclusive and grumpy and avoids interacting with people as much as possible. But when he throws out his back, he literally crawls to the local chiropractor’s office, where Elizabeth (Lauren Graham, perfectly cast) works on his adjustments. Soon the cantankerous author is smitten, but he can’t help but express his disdain for almost everything – except her young, fatherless child. I don’t want to spoil the plot (and we’ve seen it before, trust me), but this pleasant movie more or less squanders the talent of its cast with its meager plot. 3½ cans.
89.  Nothing in Common (1984, Movies Channel) – This movie doesn’t get much critical respect, but I love it. Tom Hanks is ad man David Basner, a fast-talking, creative guy working his way up in his agency and enjoying his youthful pursuits of good times and attractive women. When his parents (Jackie Gleason, who is terrific, and Eva Marie Saint) split up, David gets pulled in both directions and has to find a way to deal with his overbearing father Max, his demanding client (Sela Ward) and his life in general. His parents may have nothing in common anymore, but David and his womanizing father do, and when he recognizes that, will he change his ways? Can he care for both of his parents with the time and attention they deserve? This movie was aired as part of a Father’s Day marathon, and it fit into the lineup better than I thought. Bess Armstrong, an actress I have always found charming, is David’s first girlfriend, the only one his parents ever liked – and the only one he ever brought home. 4 cans.
90.  Some Kind of Heaven* (2020, Hulu) – This may be the single most depressing movie I have ever seen that wasn’t about the Holocaust – and I have “The Yearling” on my DVR. It is about The Villages, the massive (130,000 people) adult community in Florida that is marketed as Disney for adults. Residents have every kind of club, activity and amenity you can imagine. They tool around on golf carts, dance the nights away while they listen to live music and generally seem like college kids on the first few days of the semester, before classes start. But the people featured here are lonely or alone. Barbara is a widow who can’t seem to meet anyone (male or female) to form a lasting friendship. Dennis is a freeloader who lives in his van on the outskirts of the community while he hustles for handouts and seeks a warm bed from a wealthy widow inside. Reggie and his wife have been married for 47 years, but his erratic behavior is taking a toll on his otherwise supportive wife. If you are old enough to live in The Villages and if you are not a natural joiner, do not watch this documentary. You will want to take a permanent dip in the pool or run your golf cart into a tree. 3 cans because it isn’t a BAD movie but it sure is not fun to watch.
91.  In the Heights* (2021, HBO Max) – I haven’t seen this much exuberant dancing across the screen since the Sharks and Jets faced off at the gym or the staff at Kellerman’s showed us all about Dirty Dancing. This incredible pastiche of joy and love and Latin culture from the mind of Lin-Manuel Miranda bursts off the screen to tell the story of the people living in the Washington Heights, NY, neighborhood. It’s never easy, but the people here act like family. The plot is much less important than the feeling the story evokes and the dynamic performances by the entire cast, led by Anthony Ramos. This is one movie I wish I had seen in an actual theater instead of watching it on my 65” TV. 4 cans.
92.  Good on Paper* (2021, Netflix) – Andrea Singer (Iliza Schlesinger) is a stand-up comedian not thrilled with her lot in life. She wants a steady gig and a steady guy, and when Dennis Kelly (Ryan Hansen) meets her at the airport, she’s not averse to becoming friends with the friendly Yalie who runs a hedge fund – or so he says. But he never has her over to his house, or his mother has cancer so they can’t go out, or he can’t play golf because he hurt his back – this guy has a million legitimate sounding excuses, except that Andrea’s BFF (Margaret Cho) isn’t buying it. At first the premise seems cute, but it gets sticky and when Dennis starts manipulating the vulnerable Andrea, she doesn't know how to handle the situation. The movie is billed as mostly based on a true story, and you want to yell at the screen for Andrea to wake up and see this guy for the con artist he is. Sometimes we see in others what we want to see and fail to see things in ourselves that we should. 3 cans.
93.  Love, Sarah* (2020, Hulu) – BFFs Sarah and Isabella are about to open a bakery together in London when Sarah is killed in an accident. Isabella is left with all of the debts for the yet-to-open business and can’t get out of the contract. When Sarah’s daughter Clarissa decides she wants to drop out of her dance classes and partner with Isabella, there is still the money issue to be resolved, so she turns to her grandmother Mimi (Celia Imrie), who was estranged from Sarah for not supporting her in the first place. The three women team up with Sarah’s former boyfriend and cooking school mate Matthew to open their bakery and serve the community by finding out what kinds of goods are preferred by the diverse residents in the neighborhood. This movie was available for rent on Prime Video but free on Hulu, and I’m glad I didn’t spend money to see it. I anticipated a charming British movie with baked goods. Well, there were baked goods, but there wasn’t nearly enough charm. 3 cans.

I Can’t Shop for Shoes on Father’s Day

Lester Irving Gordon sold shoes for a living. We liked to tease him by saying, “There’s no business like shoe business,” sometimes sung in the style of Ethel Merman. I never picture him without a shoehorn sticking out of his back pocket. The last one he had I had framed, along with the worn-down silver dollar he always carried. It hangs in my house to this day.

He didn’t own the shoe store. He was just an employee. He was the salesman whom people waited for so he could wait on them. He fit mothers and their children expertly, and they didn’t mind waiting so that he could help them try on their Naturalizers and StrideRites. He knew them. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he received cards and letters from his customers, who wished him well and filled him in on their important life events. Bobby made it to middle school. Sally loved the shoes she wore to kindergarten. They shared their lives with the man who held their feet in his hands.

When my father died in June, 1983, just days short of Father’s Day – the day he was buried – our family received so many lovely notes from people sharing their memories of my father and how he touched their lives. He wasn’t a doctor who saved their lives. He just made sure they wore the right shoes so they would feel comfortable and happy. That was his gift.

Growing up, my sister and I never shopped for shoes. My father always checked out the wear and tear and brought home new ones for us to try on when the time was right. We all wore pretty basic shoes in those days – penny loafers, saddle shoes, Keds or PF Flyers – so it wasn’t a question of picking out something new or different. We simply restocked.

After my father died, his boss insisted that we return and shop in his store and he would always give us the shoes wholesale. We took him up on his offer for a while, more to maintain the connection than anything else, but eventually we felt like we were taking advantage of his kindness, so we started shopping – and buying – retail. The man my father worked for admired him as much as his customers.

My father never needed to wear English Leather cologne. On a busy day – especially after the sidewalk sales – he smelled of leather. To this day, when I go shoe shopping, I have to pick one up and surreptitiously take a sniff. I instantly feel the connection with my father.

So, I can’t shop for shoes on Father’s Day. After nearly 40 years, I still miss that smell of leather and that special man. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

 

Mid-June Miscellany

My superpower is being able to carry a week's worth of groceries into the house in one trip. What's yours?

Let’s face it – we all fall somewhere on the spectrum of “I need more room for my stuff” to “I have too much stuff.”

I have reached the point in life where I no longer try to fuse together multiple tiny pieces of soap so I don’t waste them. Call me extravagant, but lately I have just thrown caution to the wind and soap remnants into the trash!

My kingdom for a plastic produce bag that I can open without wetting my fingers (which I absolutely refuse to do ever again).

If you are like me, you spend more time searching for movies to watch on Netflix, Prime Video, Apple TV+, Hulu, etc. than you do actually watching them. While I appreciate messages from these streaming service about the new things they have to offer, I don’t need them to encourage me to watch something again. One trip down the memory lane of Betty White’s life was enough. I need new things, not reruns!

When I put on shorts for the first time this season, I remembered that I now shave my legs with the same frequency that I put gas in the car – about every 3 months. I wondered if the hair could serve as sunscreen for my blindingly white legs. Really, at this age there isn’t all that much hair to shave. Most of it has migrated north to my chin.

I’d like to break into my eye doctor’s office and memorize the eye chart so when he asks me to read a line, I’ll always get it right and he will think I have 20/20 vision. That still won’t help me tell the difference between lens number one and lens number two, however.

Does anyone really know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce?

I always feel like I am one good cough away from clearing my throat completely. It never happens.

Styrofoam! That squeaky sound just creeps me out, and those little pieces that escape to the floor and the countertop do nothing to endear me to this material. It should be outlawed, in my opinion!

I wonder where to store all of the umbrage I have taken.

I wonder what to do with the seconds I save by fast forwarding through the “Final Jeopardy” music.

You know the pandemic is (kind of) over when I stop signing messages, “Stay safe.”

I was considering buying new bedding and looked up the pricing for the Heavenly Bed sheets, comforters, pillows and other accessories used by the Westin Hotel on their Heavenly bed (which I own). I was stunned to see that the entire set of bedding came to more than $4000 – which is more than I paid for the bed itself! Honestly, it would be cheaper just to book a few days at a Westin several times a year to get a good rest in a bed I don’t have to make! By the way, you can watch a video showing how they make that heavenly bed. It may be fascinating, but it won’t be among the movies I review this month.

Why is it that when you buy a plastic container of prepared food in the supermarket it either leaks on your way home or you need a hacksaw to open it?

I picked up a takeout order of spaghetti and meatballs – and how lazy do you have to be to not want to be bothered boiling water and opening a jar of sauce? – and I threw my glasses case with my sunglasses into the bag. Of course, the dish leaked, so I had to clean the glasses case and the glasses. But now, every time I open the case, I get a craving for pasta because the smell lingers on!

Remember when prescription drugs were first advertised on TV? The possible side effects had to be included but they were read aloud so fast that it was like listening to the old FedEx commercials with the announcer speaking faster than speed of sound. Now the voiceovers have slowed down, and they are frightening. I’m sure I am suffering from every one of the listed side effects, even when I’m not taking that particular drug. Can you actually suffer from insomnia and get drowsy at the same time?

I still experience that moment of sheer panic when the computer refuses to wake up swiftly in the morning – even though my body does the same thing.

And then there’s that moment of panic when you have entered your password to access a site or app and pray that it was the right one because you don’t think you know another one.

I understand that this season is the last one for “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” a TV program I have never seen. I don’t know which one is Kendall and which one is the other young one, which one is Khloe and which one is the other adult one, but I know Kim is divorcing Kanye West and that Kris, the matriarch of the clan, was once married to Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner and has a great haircut (or is it a wig?). That is the extent of my Kardashian knowledge, and I hope that when the show is off the air that random news about members of the family will stop showing up in People magazine or in other online news.

Bed, Bath & Beyond is offering a “smart” toothbrush. Really? Do I need my toothbrush to do calculus or recite the elements on the periodic table for me? The electric toothbrush I already have has a timer for two minutes and vibrates when the brushing time is up. Do I need a toothbrush smarter than that?

My biggest fear in the supermarket is going down the cookie aisle and seeing Pepperidge Farm Milanos on sale. I’m only so strong, and it is tough to pass up a bargain on the cookies I love. I guess the answer is NOT to go down the cookie aisle.

English is such a strange language. Why do we remove the e when we spell the word judgment? Is there any reason to remove a perfectly good letter so we can tack on four more? I think I need to ask the guy who moderates the Scripps National Spelling Bee. He always seems to know the origin of words and he sure knows how to spell!

My dentist uses all of these high-tech devices. When he is done with a filling, he shines a special light on the material so it immediately hardens. But when it’s time to check my bite, he uses what is basically a strip of carbon paper to have me bite down and grind my teeth so he can see whether anything turns blue because that shows that it is out of alignment. #oldschool.

There are many things I don’t understand in life: How can planes get off the ground? How were the pyramids built? And now I can add: How do soft-close drawers know to close?

Although I have not signed up to view job openings anywhere, I recently received a list of positions available in Manasquan, NJ. And now I am a clerk at the local hospital. Just kidding. That would be my nightmare – and theirs.

I am 70 years old and still cannot accurately explain to the hair stylist how I want my hair to look. Maybe it is because I don’t know. But I do recognize a good hair day when I see one!

It seems I always walk out of a room forgetting to take with me what I went in there for.

The new Discovery+ streaming network has a show called “The Laundry Guy,” which is billed as having a story for every stain. The last time those two items were combined, wasn’t it on Monica Lewinsky’s dress? Anyway, I sure would not want to air MY dirty laundry!

I am on a trial separation from ubiquitous Food Network host Guy Fieri. I found myself whiling away too many hours on his shows, “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” and “Guy’s Grocery Games,” both of which seem to air all the time. I was fantasizing about people cooking and serving me delicious food. Sorry, Guy, go on without me for a while. If you need me, you can find me watching the “Home Town” folks fixing up old houses on HGTV.

I have plenty of pet peeves watching HGTV shows. For one, the estimates the hosts give on renovations are totally unrealistic. You simply cannot renovate two bathrooms and a kitchen for $35,000. The kitchen in my last house was renovated before I moved in. It looked great, but it cost more than $40,000! And then there is the cost of staging. I have to assume it is folded into the renovation price, but adding $5K to the construction, etc., is a hefty chunk of change. And do we really need to have 13 pillows on the couch? Even the renovated outdoor space has furniture with a dozen decorative pillows. Who’s grabbing them when there is a huge wind or rainstorm? And where will they be stashed until the storm blows over?

I have watched so many episodes of so many HGTV home renovation, construction and decorating shows that I no longer care if they love it or list it. And on “Love It or List It,” the people always seem to make the wrong choice. They are insistent on finding a bigger/better house, but once Hillary gets done, they decide to stay even if they don’t get that en suite bathroom they insisted was at the top of their wish list.

Why don’t the designers of the homes on HGTV ever seem to include a TV in the living room? Let’s get real – doesn’t everyone have a TV? Unless they have created a “man cave,” they never seem to include a TV. How are the homeowners supposed to watch HGTV

Heard on "House Hunters:"
Wife: "But it's so cozy!"
Husband: "Is that code for small?"
Yes, that's correct.
PS - They bought the cozy house that she liked.

















 

Tina's May 2021 Movies & More

It is Memorial Day weekend, so you have an extra day to take in a few movies and special programs with this edition Movies & More. Numbering picks up from the previous month, and movies not seen previously are marked with an asterisk. As always, everything is rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top.

 65.  Olympia* (2018, Apple TV+ rental) – Most of us remember actress Olympia Dukakis best for her feisty roles in “Steel Magnolias” and her Oscar-winning portrayal of Cher’s mother in “Moonstruck.” But in real life, the Greek-born actress, who died on May 1, was more than her defining roles. In this documentary, she is shown as a person of principle, one who founded a theater company so she could play the best parts, for whom accolades were largely meaningless (except for the Oscar, as she readily admits) and who is a salty, tough-minded woman. At age 80, she lets the camera take close-ups of her face while she applies make-up, and she is really beautiful. The film takes us on the road with Dukakis as she does everything from picking up awards to visiting her mother’s village in Greece. This biography covers a lot of territory in a somewhat meandering way, but I enjoyed the chance to get to know Olympia Dukakis in a new light. 3½ cans.
66.  College Behind Bars* (2019, Netflix) – The college students in this documentary have ambition, drive and intellectual curiosity. They are working hard to obtain either an associate’s degree or a bachelor’s degree from Bard College, but they live and work decidedly off-campus. They are all prisoners in penal institutions in New York State. Shown in this 4-part series are men and women who freely admit their crimes, don’t gloss over their convictions but remain equally committed to getting a degree. As one inmate points out, the prisons are run by the Department of Corrections, so shouldn’t they help the prisoners correct their behavior so they can turn their lives around? Each inmate has a story, and they are compelling. Just getting into the program is very competitive and you have to consider that they have to do all of their research from books they must request from Bard since they have no access to the Internet in lockdown. This is high-level work and requires readings that I don’t think I did in college. And before you start complaining that you don’t want your taxpayer money to give these offenders a chance that other people don’t have, you should know that the Bard Prison Initiative is funded by private contributions. This is a moving series that left me with a lump in my throat and hope in my heart. 4 cans.
67.  Some Kind of Wonderful (1987, EPIX) – Unrequited teenage love and angst predominates this classic ‘80s movie. Keith (Eric Stolz) has a huge crush on a girl clearly out of his league, Amanda (Lea Thompson), who is already paired off with HS stud Hardy (Craig Sheffer). Keith hangs around with BFF Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson in an adorable short haircut), a drum-playing tomboy with a huge crush on Keith. Can/will Watts help Keith get the girl of his dreams? Will Keith realize that his best friend is really his best option? The late director John Hughes turned out plenty of these movies in his day, and this one is endearing but not at the top of his list. 3½ cans.
68.  This Is a Robbery* (2021, Netflix) – Imagine being brazen enough to dress as Boston cops, get into a premiere museum, tie up the guards and leave with a treasure-trove of irreplaceable art by such masters as Rembrandt. This Netflix four-part documentary recounts the still-unsolved heist at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston on St. Patrick’s Day, 1990. What could the thieves do with these priceless treasures? Could they sell them? Where did they stash them? Who would know the layout of the museum and the value of the specific items stolen? Those questions, among others, have perplexed the authorities for decades. They have their theories, including one involving a known art thief and others that tie the Italian Cosa Nostra and Irish mob to the heist, but despite rewards of up to $10 million and claims by various individuals that they have seen or know what happened to the art, no one has yet been convicted of the crime. This is a complex case, but I would have preferred it be told a little more succinctly than spread over 4 hours. Still, it was very intriguing. 4 Rembrandts.
69.  Fractured* (2019, Netflix) – I love the money “Fracture,” so I thought I’d give this similar sounding one a chance. Both movies are full of intrigue, but this one has the added element of dream vs. reality. Sam Worthington is Ray Monroe. He and his wife Joanne (Lily Rabe) and 6-year-old daughter are traveling to see family on Thanksgiving, but their daughter falls and breaks her arm and Sam falls and smacks his head. Sam rushes his family to the nearest hospital, forgoing care for his injuries and urging the crowded hospital to take care of his daughter. While he is anxiously awaiting an update on a CAT scan, they disappear. There is no record of Sam signing them in, no proof that he didn’t come in alone for his head injury. Frantic, Sam goes up against the hospital staff and police as he races to find out what happened to his family. The thrills are amped up, as is Sam, but some of the story is tough to accept. I hope someone here will watch it so we can discuss what really happened! 3 cans.
70.  Risky Business (1983, HBO) – I will never be able to listen to Bob Seger sing “Old Time Rock N Roll” without thinking of Tom Cruise sliding across the opening of the living room of his parent’s house in his socks, pink button-down shirt and white Jockey shorts. Cruise is the aptly named Joel Goodsen, an earnest high school student feeling the pressure of trying to get into Princeton, stay in his parent’s good graces, and, like all of his buddies, get laid. One call to call girl Lana (Rebecca DeMornay) takes care of the latter but leads him to an adventure that involves wrecking his father’s prized Porshe, having a valuable artifact stolen, being chased by Guido the Killer Pimp the night before an algebra midterm, and riding on the train with Lana on a trip he won’t soon forget. He didn’t intend to turn his parent’s house into a brothel while they were out of town visiting dear Aunt Tudy, but, hey, with the Porshe underwater and the Killer Pimp (Joe Pantoliano in a great performance) demanding money for the precious egg, it seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, as his buddy tells him, every now and then, you just have to say, “What the F*#&.” PS – He gets into Princeton.  4 cans.
71.  144* (2021, ESPN) – Most of us would like to forget 2020, but for the 144 women who make up the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA, with 12 teams and 12-women rosters), 2020 was a season to remember. The usual starting date in spring was pushed to summer, and the players, coaches and staff had to agree to live and work at one site in Florida, fondly referred to as the “Wubble” (WNBA Bubble), where they played all of their games without fans in the stands. They were tested every day for COVID, confined to their rooms or villas within a resort area to prevent any possible outbreak. They also came together to lend their visible and vocal support for social justice, shining light on the killing of Breona Taylor through the “Say Her Name” campaign by wearing uniforms bearing Taylor’s name on the back. They held rallies, refused to play for two days after the police shot Jacob Black, and used their platform to keep the stories in the news. When the part owner of the Atlanta Dream, Senator Kelly Loeffler, condemned them for their social justice focus, they started wearing shirts with the name of her opponent, Rev. Warnock, to rally support and they turned the election in Warnock’s favor. Congratulations to the WNBA for an unforgettable season and effort, and kudos for player/producer Chiney Ogwumike, a bright star as a player and a broadcaster, for delving into the thought process of these 144 remarkable women and showing how athletes do much more than just dribble the ball.
72.  The Woman in the Window* (2021, Netflix) – Let’s start with the fact that the book was better. But even when I read the book, I could see this as a movie. Amy Adams is Dr. Anna Fox, an agoraphobic woman who thinks she has witnessed a murder from her perch at her window. Her possible delirium is exacerbated by copious consumption of pills and alcohol (I don’t think you are supposed to wash down the drugs with liquor) and memories of a family tragedy. Nothing in her world is exactly what it seems. This is a psychological thriller, which means the presence of ominous music and your desire to yell at the characters to warn them about what is about to happen. It is reminiscent of Hitchcock’s classic “Rear Window” because of the obsession with watching the neighbors and trying to solve the mystery, but it pales by comparison. 3½ cans.
73.  State of Play* (2009, Netflix) – Congressman Steven Collins and journalist Cal McAffrey (Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe) tangle when a woman on the Congressman’s staff is murdered and Crowe finds out that his old pal was having an affair with the young lady. Can he solve the mystery and will he betray his buddy to uphold his journalistic standards? Will he get through the cover-up and his own relationship with the Congressman’s wife and find and report the truth? There’s a good cast on hand (Helen Mirren as the newspaper boss, Robin Wright as the Congressman’s wife, Rachel McAdam as a newspaper colleague) and the performances are good, but I kept feeling like the journalist part was just a little too noble. 3½ cans.
74.  The Fundamentals of Caring* (2016, Netflix) – Ben (the ageless Paul Rudd) is on a downward spiral after tragically losing his young son and being sued for divorce by his wife. He takes a job as a caregiver to Trevor (Craig Roberts), a disabled 20ish young man who is a handful. His mother has him on a regimented plan of eating waffles for every meal, with only weekly trips to get him out of the house. He is Ben’s first patient, and after some fits and starts, the two form enough of a bond that they persuade Trevor’s mother to allow them to take a road trip. Along the way they encounter a few more folks (Selena Gomez and Megan Ferguson) and Trevor learns that life isn’t just about being a smart-aleck, waffle-eating guy. I found this movie heartwarming and sweet, as the two men recover together from their melancholy and understand that enjoying life is possible. 3½ cans.
75.  The Father* (2021, On Demand) – Best Actor Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins gives a brilliant performance as an aging man suffering from dementia. He’s confused, he can’t remember things he has been told, and he is insistent that he does not need help. He rejects the caregivers hired to assist him by his loyal but exasperated daughter Anne (Olivia Coleman) and tries to charm the latest one by telling her he is a tap dancer. This movie shows the deterioration of the mind from the perspective of the patient, and it is grim. If you have been through this kind of experience with a parent or loved one or expect to, you may not want to face the cruel reality portrayed here. 4 cans for the performances and the sad reality.
76.  Mare of Easttown* (2021, HBO) – There has been more publicity on the authenticity of the Philadelphia/South Jersey accent used here than on the story, and I think that hype has missed the mark. The versatile Kate Winslet plays Mare, a somewhat bedraggled detective on the Easttown police force, a small town where everyone knows everyone and is in each other’s business. When a teenaged girl goes missing and turns up dead, there is no lack of suspects, and Mare is determined to figure out whodunit. Meanwhile, her own life is falling apart. She has a rebellious teenaged daughter, a meddling mother (Jean Smart) and a grandson who she cares for because her son, the child’s father, killed himself. I found it hard to keep track of who was who as well as the plots (there’s more missing teenagers), but the mystery and characters intrigued me enough to sit through all eight episodes.  4 cans.
77.  Friends: The Reunion (2021, HBO Max) – This is the one where they get together after 17 years of being on a break. “Friends” was that ubiquitous show that everyone either watched or knew about when it debuted in 1994. It was a show about six young people living in New York who counted on each other as friends and family. Since they stopped being there for you 17 years ago after a 10-year run, the actors had not been together as a group. This special saw them finally reunited on replicas of their apartments and that famous Central Perk couch to laugh and recall the series that made them (rich) and famous. The women on the show (Courtney Cox, Jennifer Anniston and Lisa Kudrow) say they ate lunch together every day during the show’s run and they remain close friends today. The men (David Schwimmer, Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry) also hit it off. Blessed with genius comic timing, great writing and genuine chemistry, these friends felt like our own friends, and seeing them so delighted to be back in each other’s company is testament not only to the concept of the show but to the power of friends. Since 2020 definitely felt like no one’s day, week, month or even our year, this reunion, telecast as the pandemic precautions wind down and allow us to reunite with our own friends, felt just right. 4 cans, and I’m starting to rewatch the series.
78.  Inside the Met* (2021, PBS Documentary Channel; requires subscription) – I would have been fascinated by this three-part series even if it didn’t include what happened to the largest art museum in the Americas during the pandemic.  In 2020, the Metropolitan Museum of Art was scheduled to celebrate its 150th birthday. Plans changed considerably when COVID hit New York hard. The city was locked down and the Museum was shuttered for 6 months. Still, some of the hundreds of employees ventured inside to check on the precious pieces of art, ranging from ancient rugs and classic paintings to statues and clothing. This series does a great job of showing how a museum is run, and I was impressed with the devotion of the people who work there, whether they are engineering the move of a large statue or hanging a painting or restoring a rug. This program will give you a greater appreciation for the treasures of the Met. 3½ cans.
79.  Amazon Empire: The Rise and Reign of Jeff Bezos* (2021, PBS Documentary Channel; requires subscription) – Remember when Amazon sold books?  That was the beginning of an empire imagined by founder Jeff Bezos, who took the online retailer from books to every imaginable product and beyond. Today Bezos owns Whole Foods, The Washington Post and, through Amazon Web Services (AWS), his company runs the cloud computing platform that hosts websites you use every day. Is the company TOO big? Should it be broken up by the government? Will it EVER pay taxes? Between Prime Video, Alexa, Ring Doorbell and so much more, Amazon has infiltrated our daily lives, which some feel threatens our privacy. This documentary praises the business even as it raises questions about its impact on society. From selling books online to becoming the world’s richest man, Bezos’ rise is a fascinating story. 4 cans.

Murder, She Wrote

I have always liked a good mystery, although I have never been good at solving them. When I watched “Mission Impossible" on TV, I was always fooled by the real perpetrator. When I read mystery books, I always go for every red herring, convincing myself of the merits of the case against nearly every character. I never would have been friends with Jessica Fletcher of “Murder She Wrote,” because everyone around her in her small village seemed to suffer a fatal end. But when boredom set in during the quarantine (after about 48 hours) I found myself watching more episodes of real-life murder mysteries than ever, and the supply was bountiful.

Sure, there’s “Colombo” and “Monk” and a zillion other fictional crime dramas, but as Marvin Gaye says, “Ain’t Nothin’ Like the Real Thing.” Besides, you really can’t make up some of this stuff.
You can find something in the crime genre on TV at any time of the day or night. There are “Deadly Vows,” and “Homicide Hunter,” and a plethora of other mysteries that air on the OG crime network, the ID Channel, but ID isn’t the only source. I found one show, “Unsolved Mysteries,” completely unappealing because, as the title says, they never solve the case!

My personal favorite mystery show is “Dateline,” which calls NBC home on Thursday and Friday nights, but you can catch episodes of the series re-airing on ID, on Oprah’s OWN Network, USA, and CNBC – which apparently thinks murder shows are good business.

There is always the case of “whodunit.” You see what looks like the perfect family only to find that the husband or wife has been carrying on a torrid affair that seems way out of character (of course he TOLD the paramour he was divorced and not still married to his high school sweetheart after 36 years). You know this because the friends of the couple get to go on TV and tell you why he never would have poisoned her food or left the hotel where he was staying on a business trip to come home, shoot her, set the house on fire and then calmly return to the hotel and claim he was there all along (oops, forgot about those security cameras, didn’t you?). The friends are always shocked and the families devastated by the loss of their loved ones, and, by the end of the program, the family is sometimes divided in their loyalty to the accused – who may be one of them. Sometimes the friends immediately have that sneaky suspicion that the spouse did it and they set out to solve the case or help the authorities bring the criminal to justice. On a recent show, the adult son grew up with a single father because his father killed his mother but was never charged with the crime. Even when his father was finally convicted of the murder, the son still loved him because he was his only parent.

To me, the worst crimes are the ones where little children are involved. If these are your kids, you probably have just ruined their lives. No 6-year-old should have to take the witness stand to say they heard mommy and daddy yelling right before mommy left the house and never came back. 

And then there are the random crimes, the kidnapping and killing of college students and innocent victims who are murdered and left for dead in a vacant field or thrown into a stream. The worst are the serial killers, who are the scum of the earth. It’s hard to identify the next Ted Bundy, who may just be sitting at the desk beside you.

Sometimes these cases yield no clues for the police to use in tracking down the culprits and they end up in the “cold case file” where they languish indefinitely, unresolved and heartbreaking to the loved ones of the victim. Kudos to the determined, dogged police detectives who are assigned to pursue a case that no one could solve until they looked at it with a set of fresh eyes or who are able to use forensic tools that may not have existed when the crime happened. And thanks to the original investigators who captured and retained evidence just in case it might come in handy decades after the crime was committed.

Having watched so many episodes of these programs and having seen so many different crimes, I can’t help but detect (pun intended) a few themes that run through many of them. Criminals might not be the sharpest knives in the drawer – even though they use those knifes to commit their crimes. So, for all you would-be killers and criminals, here are my observations and advice.

1. You might want to consider just divorcing your spouse rather than killing him/her and depriving your children of a parent – or potentially both parents if you get caught, convicted and sent to prison. And disposing of the body is always a hassle.

2. If you do intend to kill the former love of your life or even a stranger, know that the authorities can easily get your cell phone records, bank transactions and any other information that might be incriminating. They will know where you were by the location of your phone – those sneaky cell towers enable the authorities to pinpoint your location at the time of the murder.

3. If you are making arrangements for a friend or hired killer to do the dastardly deed, it probably isn’t a good idea to call that person 22 times the day before the crime is scheduled to be done (seriously, that was in a recent episode). Coincidence? I think not. Personally, I don’t know anyone well enough to ask them to either kill someone for me or find someone who would. 

4. If you need to research how to poison someone with antifreeze or must search for other lethal alternatives, don’t use your own computer and search from your house, where the authorities can find you from your IP address. Try the old-fashioned way: Go to the library and look up ways to kill someone in a book!

5. If you find the need to buy tarps, large plastic bags, shovels, hunting knives, gloves, rope or a gun – pretty much anything that could potentially be used to kill someone and dispose of a body – don’t go shopping the day before the murder, and certainly DO NOT use your credit card to pay for those items – use CASH! The cops will check your credit card records and see that you charged the knife at Walmart and then they will find the security footage of you in the store making the purchase. In one very notorious case that I read two separate books about, the murderer used his brother’s boat to dump the body in the ocean and shot a hole in the sturdy cooler he bought for disposing of the body to make it sink. Eventually, a fisherman found a cooler floating and it was traced back via a credit card purchase. Sometimes it can be excused as circumstantial evidence, but a good prosecutor will make the jury get past reasonable doubt.

6. Cameras and security devices are EVERYWHERE! Your neighbor’s Ring doorbell footage can spot you loading a large plastic bag with what appears to be a body into the trunk of your car. Banks, parking lots, buildings, gas stations and traffic lights can help find you driving in your own car to put you in the vicinity of the crime scene. I watched one case where the authorities pieced together a trip of several hundred miles by using this kind of footage.

7. If you try to outwit law enforcement by renting a car to get to the crime scene instead of using your own, easily identifiable car, don’t rent it in your own name!

8. If you are trying to get rid of the body, you can’t just throw a tarp over it (see point 5) and dump it in a field near the road. Those pesky joggers always seem to find things that seem amiss and alert the cops. You need to make more of an effort to hide the body.

9. If you are related to the victim by marriage or are a current or former significant other, know that you will almost immediately be considered a person of interest. Once that happens, the cops will be watching how you react and what you do from that point on. Did you sob when you heard the news about the death of your loved one? Did you ask any questions about how it happened? Did you immediately concoct a story that smacks of an alibi? Did you immediately demand an attorney? Did you participate in the community-wide search to look for your missing loved one?

10. You should know that no woman leaves the house without her keys, phone and wallet – unless she is jogging. And she probably didn’t leave scrambled eggs sitting on her plate on the kitchen table, either.

11. If you are taken in for questioning, don’t drink the water. Today there are new methods that didn’t exist years ago to get evidence. There is a burgeoning field of forensic genealogy where DNA can be matched against a database that might include cousins you didn’t know you had and you are identified. The authorities will want a sample of your DNA to tie you to the victim or crime scene and just by taking a sip from the bottle of water they politely offer you are providing it. If you forget that and do take a sip and then wipe off the bottle, rest assured that you have been recorded doing that and you look guilty. Of course, denying them the sample also makes you look guilty.

12. Don’t think you can outwit the lie detector. Chances are you can’t, and even if the results are inadmissible in court, you have cast doubt on yourself and your alibi.

13. Let’s say you are in jail, either awaiting trial or your appeal from the conviction. Remember that the guy you have befriended in the next cell is also there for a reason, so it is not a good idea to “confess” to him about what you did or tried to do. He is neither your attorney nor your priest. More likely, he becomes a snitch and turns you in to get a better deal for himself. And please don’t give him a map of your house so he can kill your wife when he gets out of jail.

I know that everyone is entitled to a good defense, but an attorney who overlooks the obvious guilt of his/her client and turns the tables to make them look like a victim is either evil or a sociopath himself/herself. Just don’t take the case if the person seems guilty despite their denials. Are we really supposed to believe that OJ is still looking for the real murderer or that Scott Peterson’s pregnant wife just left the house on her own? Don’t insult our intelligence.

I’ll admit that I watch too many of these cases and I have read all of the late Ann Rule’s books about hard-to-solve murders or hard-to-get convictions. More often than not, I will watch a "Dateline" on the DVR when I wake up too early and I’m not ready to start my day. I almost always fall asleep in the last 10 minutes, before I learn “whodunit,” but at least I can replay the show on the DVR to see how it ends. The fact that there are so many shows to watch and so many different ways people try to kill each other continues to amaze me. No wonder so many books, movies and crime programs exist. 

Scary, isn’t it?

So, wise up, people, and think about how to resolve your issues in a way that won’t find me watching you on an episode of “Dateline.”