Mid-Winter Meanderings 2021

I remembered I was out of coffee so I was going to buy coffee, but then I remembered that I don’t drink coffee and only keep it on hand for when I have visitors. Then I remembered that I don’t have visitors, so now I have neither coffee nor visitors. But when someone finally is allowed into this house, I guess I'll have to buy coffee.

If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup, where does that leave those of us who don’t drink coffee?

Time really flies, even when I am doing next to nothing.

Wouldn’t it be great if you actually could laugh your ass off?

My hairbrush is missing in action. I know it will turn up, but really, how could this happen? I use it in ONE PLACE and I have no idea how it could just disappear. No worries, though, because – naturally – I have a back-up.

I liked it when I was making vacation plans, not vaccination plans.

Trying to get an appointment to get the COVID vaccine is like trying to get tickets to a Springsteen concert. Someone equated the experience with "The Hunger Games.” You sign up EVERYWHERE, hoping one of these registrations will result in an appointment. I’m one of the lucky ones in this crapshoot of a system. I got my first shot on January 21 after about an hour of waiting (in the car) at the local community college. Now my second shot is scheduled for February 18, and it had better not snow that day! As they sing in Hamilton, I am not giving up my shot! Instead of worrying about myself, I’m staying busy worrying about my many friends who, despite signing up everywhere, calling, etc., haven’t been so lucky. I’m hoping they all get their appointments SOON! What an absolute boondoggle!

I read most of my books on my Kindle, which is convenient and comfortable to use. But I can’t even tell you the title of the book half the time because it doesn’t show on the device unless you back out of the book. It’s hard to recommend a great book when you can’t remember the title.

If you are an author and your book is not described somewhere by someone as a “page-turner,” you might as well go and sell tires for a living. How many books have been described that way?

When I use the expression “throw in the towel,” it doesn’t mean I’m giving up. It just means I am doing yet another load of laundry.

To continue the weirdness of the past 12 months, I now watch Rutgers Women’s Basketball games on my iPad (unless they appear on TV), spending the entire game talking to my friend of 50 years, who normally would be sitting next to me at the Rutgers Athletic Center – watching the game in person. We haven’t missed the traffic or being out in the cold, but we sure do miss cheering for this exciting team up close and personal. Thank goodness for the technology that makes this experience the next best thing to being there. Meanwhile, the team was forced to take a Covid-related break, missing 8 games in 33 days. They are playing once again, and I hope everyone is safe and healthy with no lingering effects if, in fact, there were cases of Covid and not just positive test results.

On Saturdays, my sister’s phone gives her a traffic update for her trip to ShopRite. Mine used to tell me how long it would take me to get “to work,” with work being the address of the Associate Alumnae of Douglass College, where I traveled so often that Google assumed I must be employed there. Since I haven’t been there in a year, I stopped getting that message. I’m just waiting to see if Google figures out that ShopRite is now the only place I go!

It is fairly well-established that I love “The Golden Girls” and I generally watch the show on the Hallmark Channel every morning as I putter around, getting ready for my day. But this year The Hallmark Channel dumped “I Love Lucy,” which had aired right before TGG, in favor of “Reba,” a show not nearly classic enough to be included in the morning line-up. Reba? Really? Maybe it is a great show, but from the little I have seen, it doesn’t measure up and it has an annoying laugh track. Bring back my LUCY!

I watch a lot of murder mysteries on shows like “Dateline,” “20/20” and “48 Hours,” and I want you to know that if I end up missing, rest assured that I did not leave voluntarily. I have no desire to live “off the grid” and I would never leave the house without my phone and keys. So, make sure you launch a thorough investigation, because I would never choose to disappear and have my story featured on one of those shows.

Let’s talk about expiration dates – not about whether to follow them as a practice but how difficult it is to find/read them. I have resorted to using a magnifying glass to read the dates on my spice jars, and, even then, the type is so fine and so tiny that it is almost impossible. Jars of spaghetti sauce are no better. And the worst are packages that have the dates in some kind of secret code that I am not smart enough to crack. Uniformity and visibility are needed to improve this situation!

I threw caution to the wind recently and ate a half of a grapefruit (and finished it the next day). I’m on Lipitor for my cholesterol, and you aren’t supposed to eat grapefruit because of interaction with that drug, but I allow myself to indulge once or twice each winter season. That’s my idea of being WILD these days.

One of the great appeals of Amazon Prime was access to the treasure trove of movies they carried FOR FREE on the Prime platform. These days, more and more of them are available only on a rent or buy basis. Though they are not that expensive to rent, it goes against my nature to pay to see them, even though I never minded paying to go to the movies. I guess Jeff Bezos didn’t make enough BILLIONS of dollars before he announced his retirement. Renting a movie from Amazon is not what I signed up for when I became a Prime member. Eventually, some of these movies end up in other places where I can see them for free. I’ll wait.

Every now and then I get a message from LinkedIn about a job that sounds like it might be right up my alley. One was even a communications position for a company two miles from here! Then I read the job description and realized two things: 1. I have no idea what the description of the job means; and 2. They would probably require that I actually WORK.  Here in year 15 of retirement, I don’t think I have those work muscles anymore.

Whenever it is cold out and I am drying my hair, I can hear my mother admonishing me, “Don’t go out with a wet head.” And I dry every last drop. 

If it gets much colder, I’ll be popping my PJs into the microwave right before bedtime.

I’m trying hard to balance my intellectual feeling that everyone is entitled to her own opinion with my emotional feeling that tells me, “But not THAT opinion.”

I received the printed copy of the Yellow pages recently and couldn’t help but wonder why we still get it. Why not offer an opt-out so people who don’t want or need the printed version could decline receiving it? How many of these directories will languish in the bottom of a drawer, get recycled or – worse – get tossed into the trash?

After all of this time spent locked up in the house, I guess I can’t really use the excuse, “I didn’t get a chance to …(fill in the blank).”  I had plenty of chances, I just didn’t get around to doing whatever it was I was supposed to do. Like clear out my old emails, save my pictures (at least I did SOME of that), gather up and get rid of chargers for devices I no longer use and get rid of the phones and other electronics that are now obsolete. And I wonder why I save the boxes my phones, tablets, etc. came wrapped in. After a few years of having and using these devices, did I think I would put them back in their original packaging and try to return them?

I’ll admit it: I cried throughout much of Inauguration Day. At one point I literally sobbed, and it felt cathartic. Four years of emotional abuse, of trying but failing to stay detached, of seeing the spread of outright lies and the promotion of racism, misogyny and antisemitism brought me to the breaking point.

The world will never be a perfect place or the perfect Union sought by our forefathers, but I hope that the return of empathy, grace and intelligence will serve our country with dignity and respect so often missing.

I really try to keep politics out of this space, but I have to say that the clear-cut case against the former president in his impeachment trial was irrefutable. He clearly incited his lunatic base to storm the Capitol and he expressed no concern about the safety of members of Congress or even his own vice president. That anyone could listen to the case against him and NOT vote to convict him is an utter disgrace. The one thing that Trump has said that absolutely rings true is when he claimed in 2016, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” I guess that applies to his accomplices in the Senate, too. If this is not an impeachable offense, what is to prevent future presidents from becoming absolute dictators?

Tina's January 2021 Movies and More

And we're off! Another year and more movies and programs for me to watch. The ratings are from 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top. Asterisks indicate things I had not seen previously. 

1.  Love, Actually (2003, Peacock) – What more can I say about this movie that I have seen so many times? It still makes me smile, makes me feel good, and I love the way it celebrates love. And this version thankfully omitted the story arc with the porn actors that you don’t even miss. The fact that it has my favorite Christmas song (“All I want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey) and ends with one of the best songs ever (“God Only Knows”) over the final montage just makes it that much more lovable, actually. 5 cans.
2.  Elizabeth is Missing* (2020, PBS Masterpiece Theatre) – Glenda Jackson is remarkable as Maude, an elderly British woman with dementia and Alzheimer’s who is entrapped in a mystery when her friend and neighbor disappears. She deals with her diminished memory by keeping copious notes to remind her what to do and which give her clues about what happened to Elizabeth. She is also racking her brain with bits of memories about the disappearance decades before of her beloved sister. She is normally feisty, and now, confused, she lashes out against her caring daughter and granddaughter. If you are worried about Alzheimer’s, this movie will not assuage your fears. But the story of this tenacious woman, fighting the battle against time and memory loss, is something to see. 4 cans.
3.  The Madness of King George (1994) – On a day of an unprecedented assault against democracy in the US, January 6, 2021, I took refuge in the curious and real story of a King who went mad. Nigel Hawthorne gives a stunning performance as King George, whose various ailments and strange behavior lead his advisors and family to presume he is mad. And if you were with this lot of folks, you’d go a little crazy, too. Helen Mirren is on hand as his loving but trepidatious wife and Rupert Freund plays his scheming son, just waiting for the old man to keel over so he can usurp the throne. It was interesting to see the screen version based on the true story of a British monarch gone mad with no one truly able to diagnose, treat or handle him. Sound familiar? 3½ cans.
4. Herself* (2021, Prime Video) – Sandra is a badly battered wife who finally takes such a severe beating that she and her two daughters flee. They are allowed to go into government-subsidized housing at a local hotel.  But she cannot sever ties to her abusive husband because he is entitled to visitation rights to their two young girls. Sandra works at a bar and cleans and cares for an older woman for whom her mother worked. Stuck in the Scottish social welfare system and relegated to living in one hotel room paid for by the government while she waits on a long list for housing, Sandra decides to take matters into her own hands and build herself a house. Armed only with what she has seen on an online video, she sets out to order the materials and begin construction, aided by a local contractor who knows what a creep her estranged husband is. This is not a light and cheery film, and Clare Dunne, the lead, has few emotions to portray beyond sheer terror, frustration and hopelessness. But it does have a few moments of triumph, as Sandra’s circle of friends and volunteers pitches in to assist with the daunting construction project. 3½ cans.
5.  Same Time, Next Year (1978, DVD) – After reading the Elin Hilderbrand book “28 Summers,” I just had to go back and revisit this charming movie with its similar premise. Two lovers, George and Doris (Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn) meet at a quaint California inn while she is supposed to be on a church retreat and he on a business trip. Although they are both married to other people, they strike up a conversation that leads to a 26-year affair that occurs on at the same time each year. Their timing isn’t always the best. One year he is very horny and she is very pregnant. When he’s become an uptight Republican, she has become a hippie. But their devotion and intimacy transcend any differences they have and even surpasses the guilt they feel for their clandestine annual affair. We see them every five years as they catch up, swapping stories about their spouses and kids and their respective lives. I might just watch this sweet movie same time, next year. 4 cans.
6.  Schitt’s Creek* (2015-20, Netflix) – I checked into the Rosebud Motel in Schitt’s Creek this year and stayed happily for six seasons with the strange but endearing Rose family. Eugene Levy (with eyebrows like those of Groucho Marx) plays Johnny, the patriarch of a formerly wealthy family that is scammed in a Madoff-type deal and loses everything except the town they bought years ago, a rundown place with an equally run-down motel in a small town that – like every small town ever on TV – is inhabited by plenty of perky and quirky folks. Along for the ride are his wife Moira (long-time acting partner Catherine O’Hara), a barely accomplished actress with a huge collection of wigs that she treats as friends (they have names!) and his adult children David (Levy’s son and co-creator Daniel) and Alexis (Annie Murphy), who take time adjusting to their fall from grace and the lives of the rich and famous. This is a character-driven comedy, with Eugene playing the straight man to the chaos around him. The whole series was wildly entertaining as the family members got themselves into impossible situations, but in the end, the story was less about escapades and more about family and friends and acceptance. 4 cans.
7.  Tiger* (2021, HBO) – Earl Woods was a mad scientist, determined to make, cajole, train and will his son Tiger to be the world’s best golfer, the standard carrier for Blacks in golf, a great humanitarian on the order of Nelson Mandela, and the best of everyone who ever lived. Now, Tiger, go out and TRY to live up to that standard. The first part went according to plan. Tiger excelled on the links. But Earl wasn’t the greatest role model off the links as a womanizer and someone who was too demanding, and Tiger’s life was never a normal one. This documentary, unlike the multi-part “The Last Dance” about Michael Jordan, doesn’t contain any actual interviews with Tiger himself. There are plenty of people once associated with him or Earl who were happy to comment on Tiger’s training and development, but clearly, this two-part series was not something encouraged by Tiger himself. Part two turns utterly salacious, covering the womanizing Tiger getting caught with his mistress (one among many) and having an auto accident at the gate of his Florida estate). His wife and the mother of his two young children was just NOT having it. Americans love to see the rise and fall and resurrection of our heroes, and perhaps Tiger Woods’ story surpasses them all. And while I don’t condone his behavior, I can understand why he veered off the path his father carved out for him, chafing under the control and the scrutiny of fame. I don’t have any sympathy, but I can see why the wheels fell off the bus. 3½ cans.
8.  Pretend It’s a City* (2021, Netflix) – Acerbic author Fran Leibowitz teams up with legendary director Martin Scorsese for a 7-part series spotlighting her wicked witticisms. The humorist claims, “I have no power but I am filled with opinions.” And she goes on to demonstrate that point clearly with comments about technology, money, art and surviving in New York. Her loves in life are reading, smoking and the city – in whatever order. I’ve been a fan since I read her collections of essays in the 1970s (“Metropolitan” and “Social Studies”) and since we are the same age (she’s one whole day older than me) and are both writers (she is an actual writer; I fancy myself a writer…), I get everything she says better than ever. Just listening to her made me feel smarter – though not nearly as well-read as I should be. I felt like I spent the evening with a finicky, funny friend. 3½ cans.
9.  First Love* (1998, Prime Video) – Jean (Beatrice Arthur) is having a tough time adjusting to the death of her husband nine months earlier, and despite encouragement from her girlfriends, she can’t seem to move on. Then she impulsively sends a letter to her high school love Sam (Richard Kiley), who responds with plane tickets to see him in California. They are comfortable together, but there is one complication – his part-time girlfriend, a vibrant and attractive woman about 20 years younger (Joan Van Ark) who wants to marry him and have kids with him. This movie is so old that when Jean (Beatrice Arthur) slams down the receiver, she is using a Princess model phone! And Bea Arthur looks like she came right off the set of The Golden Girls to play this part – and brought Dorothy Zbornack’s wardrobe with her. This is an inconsequential movie that does little more than prove that people in their 60s are not dead yet. 2 cans.
10.  Love, Gilda (2018, Hulu) – It is hard not to love Gilda Radner, a phenomenal comedic talent who burst into prominence as an original cast member at the inception “Saturday Night Live” in the 1970s. Her indelible characters (Emily Littella, Roseanne Rosanadana and Baba Wawa) and her fearless approach to making everything funny set her apart from the other women on SNL. This loving documentary reminds us of a golden age in TV comedy and traces Gilda’s rise from a young girl to a comedy superstar to a woman diagnosed with deadly ovarian cancer. It is heartwarming and heartbreaking to relive her moments of glory knowing that the story will not have a happy ending. 3½ cans.
11.  City Slickers (1991, HBO) – It has been 30 years since Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern and Bruno Kirby became erstwhile cowboys leading a cattle drive under the tutelage of taciturn and wise Curley (Jack Palance). The boys are suffering a mid-life crisis, unhappy with themselves, their jobs, their relationships, when Ed (Kirby) encourages them to sign up for this different kind of vacation. This is a fish-out-of-water story combined with a buddy movie, and there are enough one-liners, funny bypasses on the trail and some poignant moments to satisfy the actors and the viewers. I hadn’t seen it in years and I loved every minute. 3½ cans.
12.  Diane* (2019, Hulu) – Diane (Mary Kay Place) is a woman with a never-ending To Do List. When she’s not driving to see her dying cousin in the hospital, she’s delivering food to other relatives, working in a soup kitchen or in search of her ne’er-do-well son, whose addiction problems render him helpless and belligerent. This movie focuses on the little things – asking about a loved one, playing cards in the hospital – as it shows a woman with family members leaving her to remain in sadness and with regrets for making some wrong choices. This film is no bundle of lightness and joy, so if you are already in a dark place, this one won’t make you feel better. But it is a realistic look at life and carried by a noteworthy performance by Place. 3½ cans.
13. The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley (2019, HBO) – For some reason, this documentary about entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes’ quest to produce a diagnostic system that could perform hundreds of tests from a single drop of blood fascinates me. I have read a book on the subject of the rise and fall of her Theranos venture and I have seen several programs on Holmes and her insistence that the functionality of her proprietary technology would change the world. She might have been right – had it worked. Far from being the next Steve Jobs, whom she emulated in style and attire, Holmes turned out to be an overconfident (at best) fraud (at worst) who bilked investors out of money trying to make her venture – once valued at $9 billion – a success. The problem was that the device didn’t work, and despite her courting of powerful investors and board members, she was really biding time, trying to “fake it ‘til she made it.” Once a self-made billionaire, Holmes now makes her appearances not at big medical conventions, but in lawyers’ offices and courtrooms, where she fights battles against a myriad of lawsuits and regulators. The story and Holmes herself are compelling. 4 cans.
14.  Heartland* (1979, Prime Video) – There’s not much to this story beyond the characters battling the elements to survive in the tough terrain of cold and windy Wyoming at the beginning of the 20th century. Elinore Randall (Conchata Ferrell) is a widow with a young daughter who needs a job. Gruff rancher Clyde Stewart (Rip Torn) is trying to make ends meet, tending to his cattle and horses, and he needs a housekeeper, so he sends for Elinore. There is always coffee on the stove, something baking in the oven and wash on the line with competent Elinore in charge of the household, milking the cows, gathering the eggs, etc. Clyde is a man of few words (very few, trust me), but the two manage to build a life together despite the rigors of living on the land. This isn’t exactly “Die Hard,” but you sure do get an idea of how tough it is to be a rancher. There was something about this movie that I found heartwarming, and I am a big fan of the recently deceased Farrell, whom you might recall from “Mystic Pizza” or “Two and a Half Men.” 3 cans.
15.  Radium Girls* (2018, Netflix) – Think of this drama as “Erin Brockovich” without the decolletage. It is the early 1900s, and Bessie and Jo work at the American Radium Company, painting the glowing radium on the faces of clocks. Most of the women there dip the tip of the brushes they use to apply the paint-radium mixture into their mouths to keep them pointy, and when a mysterious sickness develops, their pleas for help from the big, bad company go ignored. But Bessie has already lost one sister and when her other sibling, Jo, starts exhibiting the same symptoms, she takes on the establishment. But radium isn’t harmful, right? It is used in a myriad of products and touted as an elixir for good health. The young women have to beat the clock to beat the company. This movie just didn’t have the fire of an Erin Brockovich, though I appreciate the important steps they took that led to greater safety for workers. 3 cans.
16.  Saturday Night Fever (1977, Cable) – The music, the dancing, John Travolta strutting down the street swinging a paint can, the Italian family, the young men with no future living in Brooklyn and dancing at the local disco – if you haven’t seen this classic, what are you waiting for? The BeeGees scored some of their biggest hits with the songs on the soundtrack, and it’s enough to make me feel like “Staying Alive.” On the story side, just seeing young Tony Manero come alive on the dance floor, doing the one thing in life that brings him joy, is breathtaking. 4 cans.
17. & 18.  Gone Girl (2014) and The Lie* (2020) – I’m covering these two together because they have similar elements. Both are based on deceit and full of suspense. In Gone Girl, Ben Affleck is Nick Dunne, whose wife goes missing on their fifth anniversary. Since suspicion ALWAYS falls on the spouse and there is plenty of circumstantial evidence, he is quickly accused of killing her, and he’s not getting much help or sympathy from her parents or the people in the town. But wife Amy (Rosamund Pike) is clever and cunning as the story twists and turns to an unresolved conclusion. In The Lie, teenager Kayla (Joey King) is a moody dance student on her way to dance camp with her father driving when they find her friend Brittany waiting for a ride and pick her up. When they stop the car for a bio break, Kayla and Brittany disappear, with Kayla hysterically telling her father (Peter Saarsgard) that she pushed Brittany into the river – intentionally. But did anyone see them? Can the father protect his daughter? They return home and enlist her mother (Mireille Enos) in the coverup as Brittany’s father turns up the heat to find his missing daughter. These are very bad people. I’ll give the pair of films an average of 3.75 cans and I’m glad I saw them on the same day.

Happy Not-So-New Year

I nominate “You’re on mute” as the phrase of the year for 2020-2021.

I guess Marie Osmond is the new Ed McMahon because I have seen her all over TV pushing the Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes. I didn’t think people were still buying magazines – but, as we know, no purchase is necessary to enter.

Speaking of magazines, it is strange to be in a waiting room in a doctor’s office these days and see there are NO magazines. Not that I would want to touch one that someone else may have contaminated, but it just seems odd. Instead, the few people waiting are captively watching the NJ News Network, which is so bad that making people watch it may violate the Geneva Convention rules of torture.

So, what do we think of Ken Jennings as the guest host of Jeopardy? Anyone who attempts to succeed the late Alex Trebek has mighty big shoes to fill, but I think Ken is doing a stellar job. Future guest hosts announced so far are Mayim Bialik (formerly of “The Big Bang Theory”) and newscaster Katie Couric. And quarterback Aaron Rodgers, once the winner of Celebrity Jeopardy, gets a chance to see if he can come up with the win, too.

Why do I always sneeze twice? Why do we sneeze at all, for that matter?

With great guilt, I approached the checkout line in CVS to pick up my prescription and pay for my vitamins and the two bags of Dove chocolates in my hand. The woman ahead of me on the line commended me for being prepared for the impending snowstorm by having chocolate in the house. That’s one way of looking at it, I guess, although I’m pretty sure my doctor would disagree.

I received five pairs of beautiful socks for Hanukkah from a dear friend. They are so gorgeous that I think I'll do all of my Zoom calls with my feet on my desk from now on to show them off.

I am 70 years old and I have favorite socks. I’m pretty sure that is NOT normal.

Shopping for produce takes so much longer now because I can’t get those thin plastic produce bags open. More than once I wanted to just put down the zucchini and walk away!

Somebody here left a tissue in a pants pocket that went into the washing machine and got all over the other laundry. I’m not pointing any fingers, but I do live alone…

While terrorists were taking over the US Capitol in an appalling assault on democracy, I was registering for the vaccine. I’m in group 1c, eagerly awaiting my turn.

Someone suggested that Amazon take over vaccine distributions. Just train the drivers to give the shots and they can get it all done in two days – if you have Prime – or within a week for all the others.

One of the reasons I don’t have pets is that I don’t think I could pick out a name. I don’t have kids, either, and the same issue would apply.

It wouldn’t be January without the annual Can-Can sale at ShopRite. Some friends pointed out that this is a great time to snag some real bargains and donate to the Food Bank. I was shocked at how much food I got for the money I spent and saved ($50 on a $100 order). I usually just make a monetary donation, but it made me feel good to drop off bags of food, plus toothpaste, toothbrushes and other non-food items.

I never wanted to work in a warehouse, but now it seems like I do, managing all of my shipments and returns from Amazon. There’s a new Amazon facility that recently opened just a few miles from my house. Now I feel qualified to apply for a job there, since I handle so many orders here at home!

Everybody needs a good, sharp utility knife. With all of the Amazon packages finding their way to the house, there’s much more recycling to do these days. Please don’t tell me that you use scissors or the edge of a screwdriver to open the packages!  A good utility knife is life-changing: When I moved in 2007, I ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome from ripping up boxes without the aid of a good knife. I wore wrist braces to sleep for years and vowed never to move again (OK, that’s another vow broken) – or at least without the proper equipment! No such problem in 2015 when I moved. And, while we are at it, you need a set of Sharpies thick enough to label the boxes you then have to open and break down with your utility knife. Trust me on this one.

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to cut down drastically on drinking bottled water. I have filtered water through my refrigerator, so now I fill my Brita pitcher and put it in the fridge and I have cold, twice-filtered water that really tastes good. (About now you are probably wondering why you are reading this deadly dull blog.)

On December 16 I filled my car with gas for the first time since September. I should be good until at least February since, after all, where am I going?

I had to find some old pictures on an external hard drive recently, and it struck me how much smaller and more convenient they are now. You can buy a “Photo Stick” the size of your pinky for about $100 (depending on storage capacity) that will find your pictures and store them as a back-up. I have mine on a hard drive that almost fits in the palm of my hand. The first external drive I bought had a fraction of the space and was the size of a hardback book. They have come down in price and size and up in storage capacity, making them a convenient and safer way to store things you need or treasure rather than relying on putting everything in the Cloud. Back up your valuable stuff, people!

When I worked for J&J, whenever someone would have an upset stomach, they would go to Pat Cuccia’s desk and request some of the “magic crackers” – plain butter crackers from Pepperidge Farm that Pat kept on hand for just such ailments. They invariably helped. And so did the fact that our little group in the PR department cared for each other enough to have magic crackers on hand. I can’t replace the people, but I decided to buy the crackers recently, and that old, familiar taste was so comforting.

I’ve been all by myself for such a long time – minus trips to ShopRite and my doctors – that I don’t know if I will be able to reenter society when it is safe to go out again. One thing I’m sure of: I will be wearing a mask for at least the rest of this year. 

I am afraid that when I finally get to hug someone I will burst into uncontrollable tears. The last hug I had was on March 8.

One thing Trump can be sure of: President Biden’s Inauguration attendance will not beat Trump’s 2017 crowds. That’s because of new security measures taken to close the Capitol Mall in the aftermath of the terrorist attack on the Capitol incited by Trump on January 6. Almost no one will be able to witness this historic moment in person. He must be so proud.

I liked it better when Banana Republic was just a store in the mall.

Now Trump says he doesn’t want to pay Rudy Giuliani, who reportedly charges $20,000 a day for his crack legal work. Rudy’s going to be buying the real bargain hair dye now, probably from the Dollar Store. I guess if you are going to sell your soul, you can set a high price. But if you don’t get paid, you have lost your soul for nothing.

I miss not feeling afraid. Between the pandemic and all of the adjustments we have all had to make to our daily lives and the political situation in this country with its psychotic vitriol, I have to constantly remind myself to calm down and find joy. Believe me, it is hard to come up with 1500 words of humor every month under these conditions.

At some point this year, I hope I can stop clenching my teeth.

December 2020 Movies & More and Best of the Year

First, here are the 15 movies and shows I watched in December. Following that, you can find the best ones of a busy year, when I watched more than 200 movies, TV series, mini-series, documentaries and more. Movies not previously seen are marked with an asterisk and all are rated on the scale of 1-5 cans of tuna. Numbering picks up from previous months.

192.  Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker* (2020, Netflix) – Debbie Allen is a force of nature. A noted choreographer, director, actor, dancer and star of such memorable movies as “Fame,” she is also the woman behind the “Debbie Allen Dance Academy,” a place where children from age five up can learn to dance. Each year the Academy presents Allen’s version of the classic “The Nutcracker,” which includes not only ballet but hip-hop, tap, Bollywood and other dance styles. In this documentary, we get to meet some of the students and witness their passion for dancing as the troupe gets ready for its special show. I admire people who have passion about something and who follow their dreams. Allen isn’t easy on the kids, but they thrive under her loving tutelage. If you are lucky enough to get into her academy and get a role in “Hot Chocolate Nutcracker,” you are lucky indeed. 3½ cans.
193.  Happiest Season* (2020, Netflix) – This is about as close as I get to watching a holiday movie (excluding “Love Actually”). Kristen Stewart plays Abby, a lesbian who wants to propose to her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis) but there’s a snag: Harper hasn’t come out as gay yet to her straight-laced family. So they go to Harper’s house for Christmas, stay in different bedrooms and pretend they are just friends. And the distance between them is more than two floors. This movie reminded me of “The Family Stone” with the family’s strange behavior. Throw in an ex-boyfriend as well as an ex-girlfriend and the brew gets stranger. Fortunately, Daniel Levy as John comes to help save the day. This was cute enough, better than a Hallmark movie, but surely didn’t make my season the happiest. 3 cans.
194.  Dave (1993, Cable) – My sister often notes that she doesn’t understand why I will watch movies I have already seen. But when there are movies like Dave, I want to see them every now and then and relish each tasty bit. Dave (the fabulous Kevin Kline) is a regular guy who just happens to be the doppelganger of the US President. He is drafted by the President’s henchmen to fill it for POTUS after the prez suffers a debilitating stroke – which shows you the power of the President’s staff, dismissing the existing VP in the line of succession. The real president is a womanizing, corrupt jerk, estranged from his wife (Sigourney Weaver), but Dave is a genuinely good guy who is willing to get his own accountant (the droll Charles Grodin) to look over the US budget and straighten things out. Will good triumph over evil? Will the president recover and Dave disappear? You’ll have to watch this endearing movie for yourself, and it is a treat – no matter how many times I have seen it. 4 cans.
195.  The Prom* (2020, Netflix) – This movie is based on the terrific Broadway musical and the star-studded cast here does not disappoint. There’s Meryl, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, Kerry Washington, Keegan-Michael Key and Andrew Rannells as the leads in a show about a group of washed up “stars” who seek publicity for their failing careers by taking on the cause of a high school girl (Jo Ellen Pellman) whose prom has been cancelled because she wants to bring her girlfriend (Ariana DeBose). The girlfriend has not disclosed to her strict mother that she is gay, so the stars troop into town to encourage her and stage the show. Yes, this is campy and hardly Meryl’s finest hour, but it is invigorating and fun. The lighting, staging and general exuberance make up for the incredulity of it, but isn’t that what theater is all about? This was the last show I saw before the pandemic, and I loved the Broadway version. Here director Ryan Murphy and his choreographers have opened it up so there are dance numbers in the mall (I forgot how much I missed going to a mall…) and all over the place. It is full of vibrant colors and spirited dancing. This is a fun, heartwarming and much-needed reminder of why we need theater AND tolerance. It won’t be the best movie of the year, but I loved it!  4 cans.
196.  Let Them Talk* (2020, HBO Max) – If someone makes a sequel to this movie, it should be called “Make Them Stop.” This story about three old friends reuniting consists of themes about aging and general topics, and much of the dialog was improvised by leads Meryl Streep, Candice Bergen and Dianne Weist under the direction of Steven Soderbergh. The result is no one’s best effort, although the acting was delicious. I believed Meryl Streep as a haughty author, Dianne Wiest as a do-gooder, and Candice Bergen as an aging woman, dissatisfied with her career selling lingerie and on the prowl for a man who can foot her bills. When Streep’s Alice invites her best college buddies to cross the Atlantic with her on a cruise so that she can pick up a literary prize, they are eager to join her despite not having gotten together for 30 years. The premise seemed strained to me and there wasn’t nearly enough reuniting. I admire these actresses and was hoping for a smash, but too much talking and not enough plot dashed my hopes. 3 cans.
197.  The BeeGees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart* (2020, HBO) – Barry, Robin and Maurice were the BeeGees, an enduring group of accomplished singers and songwriters who ruled the charts in the 1970s and 80s. Their music ranged from slightly folksy to slightly funky, but they are best remembered for their work on the disco-infused soundtrack for “Saturday Night Fever,” with such smash hits as “Night Fever,” “You Should Be Dancing,” “How Deep Is Your Love?” and “Jive Talkin.” Who can forget John Travolta strutting down the street to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive” in the movie’s opening sequence? The brothers Gibb were a huge act, recording and touring, drawing crowds and filling stadiums – but there were jealousies and break-ups, too much booze and drugs and periods of failure. This HBO documentary traces their story from their native Australia to England to America. It is the music that rules here, and they wrote all of their own stuff – more than 1000 songs in total. Twins Maurice and Robin have passed away, and before them, younger brother Andy succumbed to a heart attack brought on by drug abuse. But their songs – classics such as “To Love Somebody” and “Words” – live on. 4 cans.
198.  Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom* (2020, Netflix) – This adaptation of the stage play by August Wilson is less about plot and much more about character. The outstanding Viola Davis is transformed into Ma Rainey, a Blues singer who is a talented, stubborn, difficult woman who is large and in charge of every aspect of her life. Chadwick Bozeman delivers a memorable performance as a horn player assured of his own abilities and eager for greater success. You know that there is no way for peaceful coexistence between the more experienced and immovable Ma and this lithe, vibrant man, brimming with his own ideas. Bozeman is heartbreaking to watch now that we know he was in the last stages of the colon cancer that ultimately took his life. To be denied of all of the great performances that would have added to his legacy is almost too much to bear.  From the Black Panther to James Brown to Thurgood Marshall to Levee here, he was a captivating performer who died far too you and who will be missed forever. 4 cans.
198. Stepmom (1998) – Susan Sarandon is Jackie, the perfect mother of two, divorced from Luke (Ed Harris) and loathing Isabel (Julia Roberts, who has never looked better than she does here), the attractive, independent woman he is dating. The kids are precocious, Jackie is passive-aggressive, Isabel is kind-hearted but no shrinking violet, and Luke is never around. Finding her place in a family where she is resented isn’t easy for Isabel, and Jackie’s disdain doesn’t help. This is a beautifully filmed movie that tugs on my heartstrings. The kids in the movie – Jena Malone and Liam Aiken – are outstanding. 4 cans.
199. Auntie Mame (1958) – The incomparable Rosalind Russell plays the eccentric mapcap Mame in this charmer of a movie. When socialite Mame Dennis is suddenly put charge of her young nephew Patrick, she is determined to “open doors” for him, keeping him from the insufferable Mr. Babcock of the Knickerbocker Bank, which manages his trust fund. Living the good life on Beekman Place in New York and palling around with actress friend Vera, artists and unconventional types, Mame loses her fortune in the Great Depression and has to muddle through. But Mame is a survivor, and her little family of Patrick, secretary Nora and houseboy Ito bond together until times get infinitely better. This movie delights and moves me every time I see it, and it is so much better than the musical version of the stage play “Mame,” despite the presence of Lucille Ball in the title role. I miss some of the great music (“We Need a Little Christmas” and “If He Walked Into My Life”), but the character of Mame is, to me, one of the most memorable to grace the screen. 4½ cans.
200. A Christmas Story (1983, TBS) – No holiday season would be complete without Jean Shepherd’s quirky little stroll down memory lane. Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) wants a Red Ranger Rifle, a BB gun destined to shoot his eye out, for Christmas. All the pent-up hope of a little boy is crammed into this funny look back at life, with scenes at school, fighting the neighborhood bully, snowsuits that prevent a kid’s arms from moving, standing on line to see Santa and Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. There’s a kid whose tongue gets stuck to a metal pole and the silly, leggy lamp cherished by Ralphie’s father – all memorable moments in this classic family gem. My Christmas Eve is complete. 3½ cans.
201. Barbra: The Movies, the Memories, The Magic* (Netflix) – This is the film of Barbra Streisand’s most recent concert tour, where she covers smash hits from the albums she has released over 6 decades. All the favorites are here, and she seems thrilled to perform them for an enthusiastic audience. I was lucky enough to finally catch her act on this tour, and Barbra did not disappoint. If you are a fan, don’t miss Barbra in action. 4 cans.
202.  Funny Girl (1968, Prime Video) – My Barbra appetite was whetted by her concert, so what better way to enjoy her extraordinary talent than to start from the beginning? Streisand burst on the stage of the Winter Garden theater several years before in the title role of this story about legendary performer Fanny Brice, and it was only natural that she play Fanny in the film version. It is loaded with memorable songs (“Don’t Rain on My Parade,” “People,”) oozing with brass and bravado, and truly marked the emergence of Barbra Streisand as a leading player in Hollywood. I always think of my mother when watching this magnificent movie, because she insisted that she “discovered” Barbra when she saw the Broadway show. Ma, you got this one right. 4½ cans.
203.  The Family Stone (2005, HBO and Hulu) – Sara Jessica Parker is the uptight girlfriend of the near-perfect man (Dermot Mulroney), but when she goes home with him for Christmas, she makes a big impression – all the wrong way – with his sprawling and loving family. She’s convinced they all hate her (and she isn’t really far off in that assessment), so she gets her sister(Clare Danes) to join her to bolster her ratings. Then her boyfriend falls for her sister and she falls for another brother (Luke Wilson). Throw in the parents (Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson) and sisters (Rachel McAdams and Elizabeth Reiser) and chaos ensues. Really cute movie. 4 cans.
204.  The Flight Attendant* (2020, HBO Max) – This 8-part limited series is based on a novel I read earlier this year, but it goes far beyond the confines of the book with plenty of suspense and intrigue. Kaley Cuoco plays the hot mess that is flight attendant Cassie Bowden, a heavy drinker (night or day) whose out-of-control-partying finds her one day waking up next to the dead body of the passenger with whom she had a one-night stand (and that won’t happen again, because his throat is slit). She has the choice to contact the authorities or flee, and, like most of her decisions, she makes the wrong choice. I won’t get into the details here because I don’t want to give up any spoilers, but I will say that even with plenty of action, stabbings, attempted murders, chases, etc., I still thought parts of this series dragged. I found myself getting impatient with the plot and eager for Cassie to pull herself together. Zosia Mamet as her best friend, Annie the lawyer, is a good counterpoint to Cassie, but everyone here is in over their heads. When season 2 debuts, I may not be on board this flight again.  3½ cans.
205.  Hope Gap* (2019, Hulu) – This is a dreary little movie about a hopelessly unhappy couple who have been married for 29 years. Edward (Bill Nighy) can’t do anything right to please his difficult wife Grace (Annette Bening) and he has given up. She thinks they can just make a few changes and all will be well again. What she doesn’t know initially is that he has found someone else – quite by accident – who makes him content and happy. There has to be more to life than making each other tea and not talking, right? They make their grown son Jamie (Josh O’Connor) the intermediary, an awkward position for a young adult who doesn’t want to spend time with his parents even when things are going well. And there you have it. No need to feel downtrodden now since I’ve done it for you. 3 cans.
206.  Starting Over (1979 – from my DVD collection) – The counterpoint to Hope Gap is this charmer about the dissolution of a marriage, a new romance, the intrusion of the first wife and other obstacles to adult happiness. Burt Reynolds is Phil Potter, separated from his singer/songwriter wife (Candice Bergen) when he meets teacher Marilyn (Jill Clayburgh, who steals the show and is a terrific crier). Phil has a tough time adjusting to his divorce and although he and Marilyn seem like a compatible duo, he’s gun shy.  This is an amusing look at adult relationships with some genuinely funny bits. Credit to the gorgeous Candice Bergen for badly singing some terrible songs and letting herself be the butt of the joke. I hadn’t seen this movie in years, and it turned out to be the right time and right way to end this year of movies and more. 4 cans.

Here are the dirty dozen of the best movies and shows I saw in 2020 that made the year palatable. Not all of them were new, but they were new to me. If you have nothing to watch, start with this list.

The Art of Racing in the Rain – I fell in love with Milo Ventimiglia and his dog Enzo here and started crying about halfway through. Not a new film but new to me! Now airing on Hulu.

Uncut Gems – This was a powerful film, desperate and unflinching. I can’t say I enjoyed it, but it was very well done. Netflix.

Just Mercy – Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Foxx build an uneasy alliance in this film about injustice. HBO Max.

The Last Dance – This 10-part ESPN docuseries about the other Michael Jordan was completely addictive. It now airs on Netflix.

Lenox Hill – Real doctors doing real cases that ended just as the pandemic began. Netflix.

13th – Ana DuVernay’s look at racial inequality and the need for prison reform was eye-opening. Netflix.

The Social Dilemma – A scary look at the impact of social networking and the way information is used in nefarious ways. Netflix.

Bruce Springsteen – A Letter to You – The Boss bares his soul and gifts us with new, reflective music in this documentary he created. Apple TV+

Queen’s Gambit – A captivating film about a chess playing prodigy reels you in and does not care if you know anything about chess. Netflix.

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom – Powerful performances by Viola Davis and the late Chadwick Bozeman make this film adaptation a must-see. Netflix.

The Undoing – This mini-series with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant (also starring Donald Sutherland’s eyebrows) was a who-done-it of the first order.  HBO Max.

The West Wing – I reveled in rewatching the 7 seasons and 156 episodes of this drama with its memorable characters, penchant for political complications and humor. Watching this much TV was a commitment, but what else did I have to do? Now on HBO Max.

Other contenders were "Dead to Me, Season 2," "The Morning Show," "The Prom," "The Trial of the Chicago 7" and "Mike Wallace is Here."

My Wish List for 2021

I want the vaccine. I want YOU to get the vaccine. And I want it to be safe and effective.

I want safe and effective treatments for COVID that don’t require you to be a government official with access to the best, government-paid health care to get them.

I want more compassion and empathy for everyone and less animosity.

I want people to stop getting COVID and to stop engaging in behaviors that make it more likely that they will get COVID and spread it to people like me, who have assiduously followed all of the recommendations to stay safe and healthy.

I want to see health care workers, people in nursing homes and other essential workers move to the head of the line for the vaccine, ahead of the politicians who claimed that COVID was a hoax.

I want everyone to remember how many people died in this pandemic, even the people who chose to ignore it.

I want health care workers to get a break. The pressure on them has been unrelenting. 

I want heath care workers to have all of the supplies they need to stay safe while saving lives.

I want to lose the weight I gained in quarantine – and the weight I was supposed to lose before the quarantine.

I want the “Karens” of the world to see themselves on video and think about the example their behavior sets for their children and grandchildren and how it affects our society.

I want to see restaurants and small businesses be able to again open their doors, pay their employees, make money and serve the community.

I want law enforcement personnel to do their work safely and effectively without singling out Black people or people of color for the harshest and sometimes fatal treatment.

I want equality for all people because all lives can’t matter unless Black Lives Matter.

I want to better understand the restrictions people who don’t look like me have and how they have to constantly “code switch” their behavior to fit in to a world that caters to white people, and what I can personally do to make it better.

I want kids to be able to go out and play and have other kids over and fall down and get up on the playground again.

I want the immigrant children separated from their families to be reunited with their parents. 

I want to be able to go outside without the need to wear a mask. But I will continue to wash my hands better and more often, a lesson learned this year.

I want teachers recognized as the heroes they are and to get their proper respect and better pay.

I want people on social media to stop portraying themselves as Constitutional scholars or epidemiologists.

I want us all to listen to medical and scientific experts and not charlatans who have something to gain for giving their “advice.”

I want the My Pillow Guy to go back to selling pillows and not COVID cures. Not that I’d buy either from him.

I want to make reservations for dinner, not for takeout, and sit at a table with friends. I do not want to eat alone.

I want to eat dinner without having to clean up after myself.

I want to be with my friends, to spend time and laugh and hug and hang out and just be friends again. Zoom can't replicate the feeling of being with the people I truly care about.

I want to stop stockpiling toilet paper, paper towels and napkins for fear they won’t be available.

I want to stop doing food inventory and deciding whether to adopt a LIFO or FIFO policy in managing my pantry and freezer.

I want to do things on the spur of the moment.

I want to see Broadway shows and concerts and sporting events live and in person, with lots of cheering and high-fives.

I want to go to the movies.

I want to go to a store and wander around aimlessly. And I want to be able to try on clothes.

I want to get my hair cut when I actually need a haircut and not out of fear of an impending lockdown.

I want to go to the nail salon.

I want the government to be honest and do the right thing, putting the rights and safety of the people first.

I want to stop all the acrimony that this year has resulted in the end of relationships and friendships because of divergent points of view.

I want the government officials who have profited illegally from the pandemic to be brought to justice.

I want to see justice served on those in power who squandered their responsibilities and put themselves first.

I want to see the Rutgers Men’s and Women’s Basketball teams stay safe and healthy and win National Championships for the first time.

I want to see and hug my best friend for such a long time that it will be really awkward when we finally let go.

I want to understand how I can be a better person and make the world a better place.

I want this nightmare to be over and I want good health for everyone.

I want the vaccine.