If I say I am listless, why does that not mean that I am without a list? Or is it rather that I have lost my mojo? I think I need a shot of Vitameatavegamin because I am tired, rundown and listless, and I poop out at parties. I just hope I’m not unpopular.
No matter what kind of illness you have – a cold, respiratory
infection, a stomach bug or anything else – if you mention it,
inevitably someone will tell you they either have it, too, or “There
is a lot of that going around.” Try it if you don’t believe me.
It seems that getting a flu shot does not guarantee you immunity from the flu, because look what I have!
Doesn’t it kill you to walk around with Kohl’s cash in your wallet, a
30% coupon in your hand, sales on practically everything – and find nothing
to buy at Kohls? Come on, folks, we can do it!
I just got an ad in my email for Kotex products. I think something has gone wrong with the algorithm.
On the first day or the new year/decade, I received an ad promoting bail bonds. Really? I was home before midnight on New Year’s Eve, so I don’t need bail bonds!
The people at ABC must be thrilled when they announce the opening of “20/20” and they get to say, “THIS is 2020.”
Despite the fact that this year is my 14th year of retirement, I still have dreams that I go into the office and am finally told it is time for me to retire. And in the dream, I realize that I have the gargantuan task of sorting out the stuff in my desk, or they are going to expect me to do some actual work. But I am retired! I can’t tell you how many times I have had this mini-nightmare. Sometimes I am lucky that I don’t sleep all that well…
I was so bored one morning that I found myself watching an old episode of the TV sitcom "Alice." And it wasn’t even the original, good ones with Flo telling Mel to “Kiss my grits.” It was one where Flo has been replaced by Jolene. There must be something better than this to watch!
If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, you’d probably have to take me to the hospital when I drive a nail through my thumb by mistake.
My sister said she was so bored at work on the week between Christmas and New Year’s that she actually spent time cleaning out her hole punch. Damn, I used to love to do that. She had to apologize to the cleaning staff for the errant dots on the floor. Maybe they thought she was preparing for a New Year’s Eve party!
I must have been bored, too. I sealed my granite countertops and removed the lint from my hair dryer. Someone had to do it!
I hope no one needs a good set of my fingerprints right now, because, despite diligently applying lotion to my hands every time I wash them, my thumb has its usual dry skin crack.
There are some strange similarities between the nail salon and the dentist’s office. First, there’s that noise, the drilling or mechanical noise you get from similar instruments used, like drilling and smoothing. And then there’s the fact that my dentist and the nail techs both tell me to relax. Relax? I cannot control the position of my tongue or my tense hands while either my teeth or my hands are being treated.
I am reading a book on my Kindle for my next Book Club meeting and I have found enough errors and grammatical differences with how I would construct or punctuate a sentence that I am distracted and find it hard to read. Is it just me, or do you have that issue, too?
I hope I live long enough to read all of the books on my Kindle. I had better stop downloading them soon or mathematically this will be impossible!
I think I have established that I am a chocolate lover. But please stop violating my chocolate by putting it on stuff (like pretzels) or having stuff in it. As much as I love strawberries, I really DON’T want to have them coated with chocolate. That’s even too sweet for a confirmed chocoholic like me. I am the human version of a “No Nut Zone,” though if you know me well, you might not characterize me that way!
Not only are robocalls a pain in the butt, but when they leave you a voicemail message, it is always cut off. I can’t tell whether the call is about lowering my credit card rate, telling me I won a dream vacation, solar panels or how to pay off my college loan (from 1972, no less; trust me, that is long since done!).
One sure sign of the new year: The Can Can sale is going on at ShopRite.
I watched “The Pioneer Woman” cook one morning on the Food Network. She was making something with custard, which she described as “simple.” When the first step had 4 or 5 different actions, I tuned out. Exactly what is the definition of simple? And I’m sure it doesn’t include tempering eggs.
As I get older, I feel a growing kinship with Sophia Petrillo from “The Golden Girls.” I have run out of patience and small talk and just want to cut the conversation down to the bare essentials, like “How are you?” and “See you soon.” Plus, my filter for making snide comments is missing in action.
Can you remember a January day that was 70 degrees in NJ? I’m so confused, and you know this was a 24-hour special. Can snow and ice be far behind?
My interest payment on my bank account just arrived. What should I do with that 15 cents? And how much does it cost the bank to process that amount?
I am getting a physical in February, so the doctor’s office has given me the paperwork to fill out and bring in for the appointment. First of all, don’t they have my records in the computer system? After all, this form is exactly what I have filled out for every previous physical I have had. Second, do you really recall how old you were when you had measles? I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6, but what happens if I am a year off? Who’s going to know? And third, could the line spacing on that form be any tighter? Back in the days when I could breeze through the questionnaire with a simple “NO” checked off for most things, I didn’t need space to include things like “right hemicolectomy” on the form, but now? I could use extra pages (I dread the day when I can no longer summon up the “right hemicolectomy” nomenclature). How am I supposed to define “pain elsewhere?” I am thinking of purchasing a t-shirt that reads, “If I woke up in the morning and nothing hurt, I would think I was dead.” The good thing is that I was reminded by my sister last time to make a copy of the completed form I submitted for my last physical, so that will make things easier and more consistent as I try to recall my medical history. You should do this, too!
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Tina's December 2019 Movies and Year's Best
Following the reviews of my December movies below, you will find a list of my favorite/best movies of 2019. New movies not seen previously are marked with an asterisk. All are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the best. Numbering picks up from previous months. Here's to great movies in 2020.
151. Dark Waters* (2019) – Mark Ruffalo stars here as Rob Billot, a corporate lawyer who is approached by a farmer in West Virginia whose livestock are dying from drinking polluted water. As Rob delves into the case, he finds that DuPont, a key employer in the area, has been dumping chemicals in the local streams, and the people and babies living in the region have all suffered serious medical problems. He and his wife have ties to the area and he feels he needs to pursue this issue to protect the citizens. The case turns into a lengthy one and could result in adverse consequences for Rob and his wife (Anne Hathaway). Ruffalo underplays the character as a dour, humorless but dedicated man trying to do what’s right in the face of immense pressure, capturing data, assessing scientific evidence and going up against a giant corporation. This movie is highly detailed (there are segments when Rob sits on the floor trying to read cartons and cartons of files pertinent to the case; I have never seen so many binder clips in my life) and there is not much action. Some of the people he is trying to protect oppose his approach and favor DuPont because they trust the company. Bottom line – DON’T EVER USE ANYTHING WITH TEFLON COATING! 4 cans but not much fun.
152. Marriage Story* (2019 – Netflix) – Nicole and Charlie Barber (Scarlet Johanssen and Adam Driver) are clearly meant for each other. She is an actress and he is a director of avant garde theater, based in New York and determined to stay there despite her desire to move back to California and pursue movies and TV projects. As in all relationships, there is always the push and pull of who is entitled to what and who will win out. By the time we meet them, they have already decided to divorce and are working with a mediator, writing letters about each other that express true admiration and affection in hopes of creating a fair and friendly end to their marriage and setting up successful co-parenting their 8-year-old son, Henry. But relationships are never easy and ending one is complicated, as the former couple team up with their respective lawyers and begin to use custody as a cudgel against each other. She feels he has dominated their lives while she has made all of the compromises. The problem with this film is that it is so talky – tons of dialog is emitted from each actor in outstanding performances by Johanssen and Driver. But when ADam Driver sings "Being Alive," I was enthralled completely! 4 cans, even though I sometimes felt I was suffering along with them.
153. The Report* (2019) – This movie reveals the torture techniques adopted by the US government following the 9/11 tragedy to further their investigation into suspected Middle East terrorists. Senate staffer Daniel Jones (a rock-solid Adam Driver) is tasked with reviewing millions of documents relating to the “enhanced interrogation techniques” employed by CIA operatives, and what he finds is truly disturbing. You can’t turn away from this movie, even if you want to. The level of inhumanity in the treatment of prisoners is staggering. Jones worked on his report on the situation for about 8 years, never knowing whether it would be published or taken seriously and not knowing his own degree of accountability. Annette Bening plays Jones’ boss, Senator Diane Feinstein. 3½ cans.
154. Irreconcilable Differences (1985) – Precocious 9-year-old Casey Brodsky (Drew Barrymore) is fed up with her self-centered Hollywood parents and takes them to court, seeking her freedom. Not that the divorced duo would notice, as the feuding couple is more concerned with their personal fortunes than with their only child. Ryan O’Neal is a screenwriter and director of what is called the worst movie of all time (starring Blake Chandler, played by Sharon Stone), a musical version of the sequel to “Gone With the Wind.” His wife/ex-wife is Lucy (Shelley Long), herself a screenwriter – if uncredited on his biggest hit – who hits deep levels of despair before bouncing back with a hilarious novel based on their marriage. I never hear anyone mention this movie as a top comedy, and while it isn’t on a list that would include contemporary comedies such as “Trading Places” or “Animal House,” I have loved it since I first saw it with a friend with whom I still share some of the lines (when Lucy’s career brings her to the top again, she tells her entourage that she is “hot as a pistol and free as a bird”). I had not seen it in many years but still appreciated the humor. 3½ cans.
155. The Irishman* (2019) – Whether his protagonists are Irish or Italian (“Goodfellas”), director Martin Scorsese certainly knows how to deliver gangster movies. Robert DeNiro is Frank Sheeran, a Philadelphia truckdriver who is the strong silent guy who gets involved with Russell Buffalino (Joe Pesci), who is tied into the illegal activities of real-life Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino, another Scorsese vet). I couldn’t tell whether Frank’s best quality was following orders (often to kill people) or whether he actually understood the orders he was carrying out. Since all of the leads are fairly aged by now, they spoke more quietly, making parts of the 3½ hour epic very poignant and sad. Scorsese conducts a master class in the craft of filmmaking, using special creative techniques to “de-age” the actors in some of the scenes, but couldn’t he have done it in 2½ hours? I was glad I chose watching it on Netflix, since I fell asleep and had to rewind almost an hour to get caught up again. Still, 4 cans.
156. The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984) – Cousins Charlie (Mickey Rourke) and Paulie (Eric Roberts) aren’t exactly criminals, but neither are they upstanding citizens. Paulie is the schemer with no qualms about making a big score as long as it doesn’t really hurt anyone. “It’s only money,” he pleads to Charlie. Charlie is the dreamer who looks forward to scraping together enough money to run his own restaurant, but who can’t keep up with the demands of his ex-wife and the bills for his expensive suits and shoes. Paulie is certain they can pull off a heist that will benefit them both, but the twitchy would-be mini-mobster can’t get out of his own way. This movie depicts the streets of New York, the cops, the crooks and the schemers with great verve. It’s hard to look at today’s Mickey Rourke and remember him as this street-smart guy with all that swagger and appeal. And the Sinatra song “Summer Wind” only enhances it all. 4 cans.
157. Little* (2019) – I had to see this movie because it was co-written and directed by my namesake, Tina Gordon. The premise here is not an original one: Characters who have switched ages or identities can be found in “The Parent Trap,” “13 Going on 30,” “Big,” and other films. But this one has a nice twist. Driven and successful businesswoman Jordan Sanders (Regina Hall) hasn’t achieved her stature by making friends, just by influencing people. She mistreats her faithful assistant April (Issa Ray) and refuses to listen to April’s ideas. But when she has a spell cast on her, adult Jordan becomes teenaged Jordan (played by co-executive producer Marsai Martin), with the same adult characteristics but housed in the body of a pre-teen. She is forced to turn the reigns of the company over to April and enroll in school. The school is dominated by mean girls, and young Jordan is forced to hang out with the non-popular outcasts. Martin is captivating as young Jordan, bringing plenty of spice to the young girl as a developing difficult woman, and April is forced to handle her employer as a kid AND as an adult. This is not a great movie by any means, and it is derogatory in many ways about strong women in general, but the performances were worth seeing. 3 cans.
158. Undefeated* (2011) – I think my regular readers know how much I like sports AND movies, so it figures I would have a special fondness for sports movies. This documentary tells the story of Manassas High School, a dinky outpost in an impoverished area near Knoxville, Tennessee, that not only wasn’t undefeated, but which had never made an appearance in the state or district playoffs – in its more than 100 years of existence. For six years, volunteer Coach Bill Courtney has led the team to losing seasons, sometimes with no wins at all. But this year is different. Armed with some athletes good enough to play on the college level, Courtney has to convince them that they are good enough, and that if they show their character and get along with each other, they can all be winners. Most of these kids come from broken homes where college is just a dream, but why not dream big? This movie has the usual sports clichés and stereotypes, but it is solid when it comes to inspiration. 3½ cans.
159. 12 Angry Men* (1997) – This worthy remake of the classic drama about a jury trying to decide the fate a young man who allegedly killed his father takes few liberties with the original movie of Reginald Rose’s classic story. The weather is stifling hot and a bunch of men are cooped up in a sweaty jury room to decide whether a young Hispanic guy committed the crime. 11 of the jurors are ready to convict him, but one (Jack Lemmon) feels that the group owes the man at least a real discussion of the case. As they plow through the evidence, the obvious conclusion becomes less obvious, and the jurors reconsider their original guilty votes. How much is the decision based on personal bias and how much is due to the evidence presented in court? Just as in the prior version of this play, this version has a stellar cast (Lemmon, George C. Scott, Tony Danza, Edward James Olmos and more) who bring the drama to life. Highly recommended. 4 cans.
160. The Two Popes* (2019) – What does a Jewish girl know about popes? A puff of white smoke from the Vatican means there is a new one, right? In this account of the relationship/friendship between Pope Benedict (Anthony Hopkins) and Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio (Jonathan Pryce), the humanity of both men is on full display. Bergoglio doesn’t want to continue serving as a Cardinal, but Benedict will not let him resign. In fact, Benedict himself is ready to call it quits and he wants Bergoglio to succeed him. These are real people, full of beliefs, acknowledging their shortcomings, and building a relationship based on mutual faith and respect. And though Benedict would rather eat alone, Cardinal Bergoglio can get him to share a good Italian pizza. Despite his reluctance to serve, Bergoglio eventually gave in, was elected pope and became Pope Francis, where he has brought his modest but progressive ways to the church. You don’t see many movies about Popes, especially not a buddy picture! 4 cans and a puff of white smoke. Available on Netflix.
161. Moonstruck (1987) – The widowed (and only 37-year old) Loretta Castorini (Cher) accepts the marriage proposal of her long-time boyfriend Johnny Cammerari (the late, great Danny Aiello) but doesn’t really love him. She’s just tired and bored with her life, living with her parents (Vincent Gardenia and Olympia Dukakis), so she agrees to the marriage as Johnny heads to Palermo to see his dying mother. He begs her to invite his estranged younger brother Ronnie (Nicholas Cage) to the wedding. That doesn’t turn out at all the way Johnny expected. This is a beautiful pastiche of the charms of life, the relationships between men and women with an Oscar-winning performance by Cher and all the comforts of home. Let them all bask in the moonlight. 4½ cans.
162. The Big Chill (1987) – College friends now in their 30s gather for the funeral of one of their own and face their insecurities, thwarted ambitions, triumphs and failures. Great cast (Kevin Kline, Glenn Close, JoBeth Williams, William Hurt, Mary Kay Place, Jeff Goldbloom, Tom Berenger and Meg Tilly) and a memorable soundtrack. Love this movie for its content and for the memories it evokes. 4 cans.
163. Bombshell* (2019) – If you wanted a career in broadcast news as a woman – at least at Fox News – your best bet was to hike up your tight dress, wear high heels and prove your “loyalty” to the boss, Roger Ailes, a lunatic with a famous record of dealing with presidents and their ilk. He built Fox News into an enormous money-making organization. He also used his power to dominate the women in his employ and to subject them to sexually harassment. But because the women he hired and promoted valued and needed their jobs, they rarely reported his disgusting behavior. In this account of the dirty doings at Fox News, former anchor Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) gets demoted and eventually fired from the anchor desk and decides to sue Ailes (John Lithgow) personally. But like most other charges of this type, believing just one woman doesn’t seem like enough. So, will star performer Megyn Kelly (Charlize Theron) be willing to admit that she, too, was a victim of Ailes’ harassment? The parade of Fox women is like watching a collection of Barbie dolls on display. They may well be qualified for their positions, as Kelly surely was, but they were forced to have a certain look and go along with systemic harassment and the demeaning objectification required to keep their jobs. One key fictional character here is played by Margot Robbie, as an avowed conservative who sees herself as the perfect person to convey the values espoused by Fox News. Her humiliating “audition” by Ailes is hard to watch, as Ailes tells her that TV is a visual medium and her needs to see more and more of her legs. All of the “action” here takes place against the background of the 2016 Presidential nomination process, as Kelly asks presumptive Republican candidate Donald Trump about his publicly disdainful attitude toward women, stirring up a Twitter frenzy by Trump that only proves Kelly’s point. I hate the subject matter and seeing what women have felt it necessary to do to get ahead, but it is impossible to deny the truth. 4 cans.
164. Heartburn (1986) – Jack Nicholson marries Meryl Streep and cheats on her in this movie written by the wonderful Nora Ephron, based on her marriage to Carl Bernstein, the Washington Post reporter. Marriage here just seems like the accepted next step, and Streep’s Rachel is willing to give up her work as a writer in New York to make it work with hubby Mark in DC. But in the gossipy, incestuous capitol, Rachel hears about a well-known woman who is having an affair. Everyone wants to know with whom, but Rachel when finds out, she drags her kids back to NYC and swears she’s done with Mark. I had not seen this movie in years, but I do remember it dragging a bit. However, it IS Meryl, and she can play anything (including looking unkempt) with aplomb. Jack Nicholson gets by with charm and only a modicum of commitment. 3 cans.
165. A Christmas Story (1983) – Clever and warm, chock full of reminiscing, this classic is one I eagerly watch every Christmas Eve. Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas, but he’ll shoot his eye out, warns every adult in his life. There’s the scene with the hideous lamp, the kid who gets his tongue frozen to the lamppost, Ralphie getting his mouth washed out with a bar of soap (he prefers Lux) for using the ultimate bad word, the turkey going to the dogs and the scene in the Chinese restaurant. I no longer laugh out loud, but each year I marvel at the wit and wisdom of the writer, Jean Shepherd, in providing this view of growing up in a small town in the “good old” days. 4 cans.
166. Slap Shot (1977) – The Charlestown Chiefs, headed by aging player-coach Reg Dunlop (Paul Newman!), are a minor league hockey team circling the drain, better as a tax write-off for their mysterious owner than a bona fide sports franchise. The New England town is laying off steel workers, and the team will probably fold. Reggie lobbies for a sale and move to Florida but needs an attraction to create excitement about the team, so he calls up the Hansen brothers, three-dimwitted brothers who love to fight, poke, prod and create mayhem on the ice. And the crowd loves it. But will it be enough to get the team a “fighting chance?” This is lightweight but fun entertainment, a guilty pleasure for me. And there’s Paul Newman, so what could be bad? 3½ cans.
167. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3 (2019) – Rachel Brosnahan is back as Midge, less a fledging comic now and established enough to be the opening act for a successful soul singer named Shy. The season takes us on her tour with Shy, and both Mrs. Maisel and her brash and inexperienced but caring manager Susie (Alex Borstein) start to really understand their jobs better. Susie is asked to take on managing a somewhat faded and enormously demanding comedian played by Jane Lynch. They make money, they lose money, paralleling the life of Midge’s increasingly annoying parents (Tony Shaloub and Marin Hinckle), who move in with former husband Joel’s even more strident parents when they lose their apartment. Though I enjoyed season 3 more than season 2, I still prefer that glorious first season when we met Midge and Co. She’s still a brilliant comic, and who makes a better brisket? The sights and sound of the early 60s add authenticity to the look and reality of this show. 3½ cans.
168. Little Women* (2019) – After countless productions, this classic from Louisa May Alcott gets a fresh take from writer/director Greta Gerwig. The March sisters are all present and accounted for: the eldest, Meg (Emma Watson) is a would-be performer turned wife and other; Jo (Saoirse Ronan) is an independent young woman who loves to write and knows it can be her livelihood; sickly Beth (Eliza Scanlen) is adored by the family; and artistic but scheming Amy (Florence Pugh) is on the prowl for a husband. Tart-tongued Aunt March (Meryl Streep), issues equal parts advice and orders and matriarch Marmie (Laura Dern) loves her girls fiercely. This version shakes up the chronological order of events (sometimes confusingly, it my opinion) but we watch as Jo grows ever more independent and self-assured as the loving leader of the pack. They all share a fun and loving relationship with Laurie, the rich boy next door (Timothee Chalamet). The warm and loving relationship between the family members bring pathos and humor to the script and makes this new version of an old classic well worth viewing. 4 cans.
169. Richard Jewell* (2019) – When a bomb goes off in Atlanta’s Centennial Park during the 1996 Olympic Games, security officer Richard Jewell, who spotted the suspicious duffle bag containing the device, is hailed as a hero for his quick action in clearing the area and preventing more deaths and injuries. But Jewell (Paul Walter Houser) soon becomes a suspect in the eyes of the FBI (John Hamm plays the investigator in charge of the case) because his background fits the profile of a bomber: unmarried white male gun owner who fancies himself to be a law enforcement official. When Atlanta Journal Constitution reporter Kathy Scruggs (Olivia Wilde) coerces his name from the FBI, it sets off a media frenzy. Desperate for legal help, Jewell calls the only lawyer he knows, (Sam Rockwell), who must counsel the innocent Jewell not to be quite so chatty with the authorities. Jewel’s life and that of his mother (Kathy Bates) come under extreme scrutiny, with the FBI confiscating their belongings as part of the investigation – everything from the Tupperware to Mrs. Jewell’s underwear must be tested. Jewel may have been overly zealous in wanting to be in law enforcement and perhaps had too much respect for the authorities, but that doesn’t make him guilty. Directed by Clint Eastwood. 4 cans.
My Favorite/Best Movies of 2019 - In no particular order:
1. Motherless Brooklyn – Kudos to Edward Norton, who wrote, directed and starred in this 1950s film noire.
2. Bombshell – More examples from the #MeToo movement.
3. Little Women – Greta Gerwig gives a new treatment to the old classic.
4. Harriet – Cynthia Erivo with an Oscar-worthy performance as Harriet Tubman, conductor of the Underground Railroad.
5. Echoes in the Canyon – California dreamin’ music.
6. Amazing Grace – Aretha, the Queen of Soul, does gospel music as only she can.
7. Linda Ronstadt – The Sound of My Voice – So much great music from a velvet-voiced master of all genres.
8. Yesterday – Suppose no one ever heard of the Beatles, except the star of this film?
9. Rocket Man – Elton John gets the Bohemian Rhapsody treatment.
10. Roma – Last year’s Oscar winner, in black and white, with subtitles about life in Mexico sounds dull but was brilliantly put together.
11. The Upside – Not a great movie, but one of the few I saw that made me laugh, thanks to great chemistry between co-stars Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston.
12. The Inventor – Fascinating documentary on the rise and fall of would-be tycoon Elizabeth Homes, inventor of a machine that uses just a drop of blood to do hundreds of diagnostic tests. Only it didn’t work.
13. American Son – No better example of race issues in this country but on a very personal basis.
14. The Irishman – Martin Scorsese and friends go from Italian to Irish stereotypes.
15. The Two Popes – More than just a puff of smoke.
16. Pavarotti – When Pavarotti sings here with Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras, they make my heart soar.
151. Dark Waters* (2019) – Mark Ruffalo stars here as Rob Billot, a corporate lawyer who is approached by a farmer in West Virginia whose livestock are dying from drinking polluted water. As Rob delves into the case, he finds that DuPont, a key employer in the area, has been dumping chemicals in the local streams, and the people and babies living in the region have all suffered serious medical problems. He and his wife have ties to the area and he feels he needs to pursue this issue to protect the citizens. The case turns into a lengthy one and could result in adverse consequences for Rob and his wife (Anne Hathaway). Ruffalo underplays the character as a dour, humorless but dedicated man trying to do what’s right in the face of immense pressure, capturing data, assessing scientific evidence and going up against a giant corporation. This movie is highly detailed (there are segments when Rob sits on the floor trying to read cartons and cartons of files pertinent to the case; I have never seen so many binder clips in my life) and there is not much action. Some of the people he is trying to protect oppose his approach and favor DuPont because they trust the company. Bottom line – DON’T EVER USE ANYTHING WITH TEFLON COATING! 4 cans but not much fun.
152. Marriage Story* (2019 – Netflix) – Nicole and Charlie Barber (Scarlet Johanssen and Adam Driver) are clearly meant for each other. She is an actress and he is a director of avant garde theater, based in New York and determined to stay there despite her desire to move back to California and pursue movies and TV projects. As in all relationships, there is always the push and pull of who is entitled to what and who will win out. By the time we meet them, they have already decided to divorce and are working with a mediator, writing letters about each other that express true admiration and affection in hopes of creating a fair and friendly end to their marriage and setting up successful co-parenting their 8-year-old son, Henry. But relationships are never easy and ending one is complicated, as the former couple team up with their respective lawyers and begin to use custody as a cudgel against each other. She feels he has dominated their lives while she has made all of the compromises. The problem with this film is that it is so talky – tons of dialog is emitted from each actor in outstanding performances by Johanssen and Driver. But when ADam Driver sings "Being Alive," I was enthralled completely! 4 cans, even though I sometimes felt I was suffering along with them.
153. The Report* (2019) – This movie reveals the torture techniques adopted by the US government following the 9/11 tragedy to further their investigation into suspected Middle East terrorists. Senate staffer Daniel Jones (a rock-solid Adam Driver) is tasked with reviewing millions of documents relating to the “enhanced interrogation techniques” employed by CIA operatives, and what he finds is truly disturbing. You can’t turn away from this movie, even if you want to. The level of inhumanity in the treatment of prisoners is staggering. Jones worked on his report on the situation for about 8 years, never knowing whether it would be published or taken seriously and not knowing his own degree of accountability. Annette Bening plays Jones’ boss, Senator Diane Feinstein. 3½ cans.
154. Irreconcilable Differences (1985) – Precocious 9-year-old Casey Brodsky (Drew Barrymore) is fed up with her self-centered Hollywood parents and takes them to court, seeking her freedom. Not that the divorced duo would notice, as the feuding couple is more concerned with their personal fortunes than with their only child. Ryan O’Neal is a screenwriter and director of what is called the worst movie of all time (starring Blake Chandler, played by Sharon Stone), a musical version of the sequel to “Gone With the Wind.” His wife/ex-wife is Lucy (Shelley Long), herself a screenwriter – if uncredited on his biggest hit – who hits deep levels of despair before bouncing back with a hilarious novel based on their marriage. I never hear anyone mention this movie as a top comedy, and while it isn’t on a list that would include contemporary comedies such as “Trading Places” or “Animal House,” I have loved it since I first saw it with a friend with whom I still share some of the lines (when Lucy’s career brings her to the top again, she tells her entourage that she is “hot as a pistol and free as a bird”). I had not seen it in many years but still appreciated the humor. 3½ cans.
155. The Irishman* (2019) – Whether his protagonists are Irish or Italian (“Goodfellas”), director Martin Scorsese certainly knows how to deliver gangster movies. Robert DeNiro is Frank Sheeran, a Philadelphia truckdriver who is the strong silent guy who gets involved with Russell Buffalino (Joe Pesci), who is tied into the illegal activities of real-life Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino, another Scorsese vet). I couldn’t tell whether Frank’s best quality was following orders (often to kill people) or whether he actually understood the orders he was carrying out. Since all of the leads are fairly aged by now, they spoke more quietly, making parts of the 3½ hour epic very poignant and sad. Scorsese conducts a master class in the craft of filmmaking, using special creative techniques to “de-age” the actors in some of the scenes, but couldn’t he have done it in 2½ hours? I was glad I chose watching it on Netflix, since I fell asleep and had to rewind almost an hour to get caught up again. Still, 4 cans.
156. The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984) – Cousins Charlie (Mickey Rourke) and Paulie (Eric Roberts) aren’t exactly criminals, but neither are they upstanding citizens. Paulie is the schemer with no qualms about making a big score as long as it doesn’t really hurt anyone. “It’s only money,” he pleads to Charlie. Charlie is the dreamer who looks forward to scraping together enough money to run his own restaurant, but who can’t keep up with the demands of his ex-wife and the bills for his expensive suits and shoes. Paulie is certain they can pull off a heist that will benefit them both, but the twitchy would-be mini-mobster can’t get out of his own way. This movie depicts the streets of New York, the cops, the crooks and the schemers with great verve. It’s hard to look at today’s Mickey Rourke and remember him as this street-smart guy with all that swagger and appeal. And the Sinatra song “Summer Wind” only enhances it all. 4 cans.
157. Little* (2019) – I had to see this movie because it was co-written and directed by my namesake, Tina Gordon. The premise here is not an original one: Characters who have switched ages or identities can be found in “The Parent Trap,” “13 Going on 30,” “Big,” and other films. But this one has a nice twist. Driven and successful businesswoman Jordan Sanders (Regina Hall) hasn’t achieved her stature by making friends, just by influencing people. She mistreats her faithful assistant April (Issa Ray) and refuses to listen to April’s ideas. But when she has a spell cast on her, adult Jordan becomes teenaged Jordan (played by co-executive producer Marsai Martin), with the same adult characteristics but housed in the body of a pre-teen. She is forced to turn the reigns of the company over to April and enroll in school. The school is dominated by mean girls, and young Jordan is forced to hang out with the non-popular outcasts. Martin is captivating as young Jordan, bringing plenty of spice to the young girl as a developing difficult woman, and April is forced to handle her employer as a kid AND as an adult. This is not a great movie by any means, and it is derogatory in many ways about strong women in general, but the performances were worth seeing. 3 cans.
158. Undefeated* (2011) – I think my regular readers know how much I like sports AND movies, so it figures I would have a special fondness for sports movies. This documentary tells the story of Manassas High School, a dinky outpost in an impoverished area near Knoxville, Tennessee, that not only wasn’t undefeated, but which had never made an appearance in the state or district playoffs – in its more than 100 years of existence. For six years, volunteer Coach Bill Courtney has led the team to losing seasons, sometimes with no wins at all. But this year is different. Armed with some athletes good enough to play on the college level, Courtney has to convince them that they are good enough, and that if they show their character and get along with each other, they can all be winners. Most of these kids come from broken homes where college is just a dream, but why not dream big? This movie has the usual sports clichés and stereotypes, but it is solid when it comes to inspiration. 3½ cans.
159. 12 Angry Men* (1997) – This worthy remake of the classic drama about a jury trying to decide the fate a young man who allegedly killed his father takes few liberties with the original movie of Reginald Rose’s classic story. The weather is stifling hot and a bunch of men are cooped up in a sweaty jury room to decide whether a young Hispanic guy committed the crime. 11 of the jurors are ready to convict him, but one (Jack Lemmon) feels that the group owes the man at least a real discussion of the case. As they plow through the evidence, the obvious conclusion becomes less obvious, and the jurors reconsider their original guilty votes. How much is the decision based on personal bias and how much is due to the evidence presented in court? Just as in the prior version of this play, this version has a stellar cast (Lemmon, George C. Scott, Tony Danza, Edward James Olmos and more) who bring the drama to life. Highly recommended. 4 cans.
160. The Two Popes* (2019) – What does a Jewish girl know about popes? A puff of white smoke from the Vatican means there is a new one, right? In this account of the relationship/friendship between Pope Benedict (Anthony Hopkins) and Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio (Jonathan Pryce), the humanity of both men is on full display. Bergoglio doesn’t want to continue serving as a Cardinal, but Benedict will not let him resign. In fact, Benedict himself is ready to call it quits and he wants Bergoglio to succeed him. These are real people, full of beliefs, acknowledging their shortcomings, and building a relationship based on mutual faith and respect. And though Benedict would rather eat alone, Cardinal Bergoglio can get him to share a good Italian pizza. Despite his reluctance to serve, Bergoglio eventually gave in, was elected pope and became Pope Francis, where he has brought his modest but progressive ways to the church. You don’t see many movies about Popes, especially not a buddy picture! 4 cans and a puff of white smoke. Available on Netflix.
161. Moonstruck (1987) – The widowed (and only 37-year old) Loretta Castorini (Cher) accepts the marriage proposal of her long-time boyfriend Johnny Cammerari (the late, great Danny Aiello) but doesn’t really love him. She’s just tired and bored with her life, living with her parents (Vincent Gardenia and Olympia Dukakis), so she agrees to the marriage as Johnny heads to Palermo to see his dying mother. He begs her to invite his estranged younger brother Ronnie (Nicholas Cage) to the wedding. That doesn’t turn out at all the way Johnny expected. This is a beautiful pastiche of the charms of life, the relationships between men and women with an Oscar-winning performance by Cher and all the comforts of home. Let them all bask in the moonlight. 4½ cans.
162. The Big Chill (1987) – College friends now in their 30s gather for the funeral of one of their own and face their insecurities, thwarted ambitions, triumphs and failures. Great cast (Kevin Kline, Glenn Close, JoBeth Williams, William Hurt, Mary Kay Place, Jeff Goldbloom, Tom Berenger and Meg Tilly) and a memorable soundtrack. Love this movie for its content and for the memories it evokes. 4 cans.
163. Bombshell* (2019) – If you wanted a career in broadcast news as a woman – at least at Fox News – your best bet was to hike up your tight dress, wear high heels and prove your “loyalty” to the boss, Roger Ailes, a lunatic with a famous record of dealing with presidents and their ilk. He built Fox News into an enormous money-making organization. He also used his power to dominate the women in his employ and to subject them to sexually harassment. But because the women he hired and promoted valued and needed their jobs, they rarely reported his disgusting behavior. In this account of the dirty doings at Fox News, former anchor Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) gets demoted and eventually fired from the anchor desk and decides to sue Ailes (John Lithgow) personally. But like most other charges of this type, believing just one woman doesn’t seem like enough. So, will star performer Megyn Kelly (Charlize Theron) be willing to admit that she, too, was a victim of Ailes’ harassment? The parade of Fox women is like watching a collection of Barbie dolls on display. They may well be qualified for their positions, as Kelly surely was, but they were forced to have a certain look and go along with systemic harassment and the demeaning objectification required to keep their jobs. One key fictional character here is played by Margot Robbie, as an avowed conservative who sees herself as the perfect person to convey the values espoused by Fox News. Her humiliating “audition” by Ailes is hard to watch, as Ailes tells her that TV is a visual medium and her needs to see more and more of her legs. All of the “action” here takes place against the background of the 2016 Presidential nomination process, as Kelly asks presumptive Republican candidate Donald Trump about his publicly disdainful attitude toward women, stirring up a Twitter frenzy by Trump that only proves Kelly’s point. I hate the subject matter and seeing what women have felt it necessary to do to get ahead, but it is impossible to deny the truth. 4 cans.
164. Heartburn (1986) – Jack Nicholson marries Meryl Streep and cheats on her in this movie written by the wonderful Nora Ephron, based on her marriage to Carl Bernstein, the Washington Post reporter. Marriage here just seems like the accepted next step, and Streep’s Rachel is willing to give up her work as a writer in New York to make it work with hubby Mark in DC. But in the gossipy, incestuous capitol, Rachel hears about a well-known woman who is having an affair. Everyone wants to know with whom, but Rachel when finds out, she drags her kids back to NYC and swears she’s done with Mark. I had not seen this movie in years, but I do remember it dragging a bit. However, it IS Meryl, and she can play anything (including looking unkempt) with aplomb. Jack Nicholson gets by with charm and only a modicum of commitment. 3 cans.
165. A Christmas Story (1983) – Clever and warm, chock full of reminiscing, this classic is one I eagerly watch every Christmas Eve. Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas, but he’ll shoot his eye out, warns every adult in his life. There’s the scene with the hideous lamp, the kid who gets his tongue frozen to the lamppost, Ralphie getting his mouth washed out with a bar of soap (he prefers Lux) for using the ultimate bad word, the turkey going to the dogs and the scene in the Chinese restaurant. I no longer laugh out loud, but each year I marvel at the wit and wisdom of the writer, Jean Shepherd, in providing this view of growing up in a small town in the “good old” days. 4 cans.
166. Slap Shot (1977) – The Charlestown Chiefs, headed by aging player-coach Reg Dunlop (Paul Newman!), are a minor league hockey team circling the drain, better as a tax write-off for their mysterious owner than a bona fide sports franchise. The New England town is laying off steel workers, and the team will probably fold. Reggie lobbies for a sale and move to Florida but needs an attraction to create excitement about the team, so he calls up the Hansen brothers, three-dimwitted brothers who love to fight, poke, prod and create mayhem on the ice. And the crowd loves it. But will it be enough to get the team a “fighting chance?” This is lightweight but fun entertainment, a guilty pleasure for me. And there’s Paul Newman, so what could be bad? 3½ cans.
167. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3 (2019) – Rachel Brosnahan is back as Midge, less a fledging comic now and established enough to be the opening act for a successful soul singer named Shy. The season takes us on her tour with Shy, and both Mrs. Maisel and her brash and inexperienced but caring manager Susie (Alex Borstein) start to really understand their jobs better. Susie is asked to take on managing a somewhat faded and enormously demanding comedian played by Jane Lynch. They make money, they lose money, paralleling the life of Midge’s increasingly annoying parents (Tony Shaloub and Marin Hinckle), who move in with former husband Joel’s even more strident parents when they lose their apartment. Though I enjoyed season 3 more than season 2, I still prefer that glorious first season when we met Midge and Co. She’s still a brilliant comic, and who makes a better brisket? The sights and sound of the early 60s add authenticity to the look and reality of this show. 3½ cans.
168. Little Women* (2019) – After countless productions, this classic from Louisa May Alcott gets a fresh take from writer/director Greta Gerwig. The March sisters are all present and accounted for: the eldest, Meg (Emma Watson) is a would-be performer turned wife and other; Jo (Saoirse Ronan) is an independent young woman who loves to write and knows it can be her livelihood; sickly Beth (Eliza Scanlen) is adored by the family; and artistic but scheming Amy (Florence Pugh) is on the prowl for a husband. Tart-tongued Aunt March (Meryl Streep), issues equal parts advice and orders and matriarch Marmie (Laura Dern) loves her girls fiercely. This version shakes up the chronological order of events (sometimes confusingly, it my opinion) but we watch as Jo grows ever more independent and self-assured as the loving leader of the pack. They all share a fun and loving relationship with Laurie, the rich boy next door (Timothee Chalamet). The warm and loving relationship between the family members bring pathos and humor to the script and makes this new version of an old classic well worth viewing. 4 cans.
169. Richard Jewell* (2019) – When a bomb goes off in Atlanta’s Centennial Park during the 1996 Olympic Games, security officer Richard Jewell, who spotted the suspicious duffle bag containing the device, is hailed as a hero for his quick action in clearing the area and preventing more deaths and injuries. But Jewell (Paul Walter Houser) soon becomes a suspect in the eyes of the FBI (John Hamm plays the investigator in charge of the case) because his background fits the profile of a bomber: unmarried white male gun owner who fancies himself to be a law enforcement official. When Atlanta Journal Constitution reporter Kathy Scruggs (Olivia Wilde) coerces his name from the FBI, it sets off a media frenzy. Desperate for legal help, Jewell calls the only lawyer he knows, (Sam Rockwell), who must counsel the innocent Jewell not to be quite so chatty with the authorities. Jewel’s life and that of his mother (Kathy Bates) come under extreme scrutiny, with the FBI confiscating their belongings as part of the investigation – everything from the Tupperware to Mrs. Jewell’s underwear must be tested. Jewel may have been overly zealous in wanting to be in law enforcement and perhaps had too much respect for the authorities, but that doesn’t make him guilty. Directed by Clint Eastwood. 4 cans.
My Favorite/Best Movies of 2019 - In no particular order:
1. Motherless Brooklyn – Kudos to Edward Norton, who wrote, directed and starred in this 1950s film noire.
2. Bombshell – More examples from the #MeToo movement.
3. Little Women – Greta Gerwig gives a new treatment to the old classic.
4. Harriet – Cynthia Erivo with an Oscar-worthy performance as Harriet Tubman, conductor of the Underground Railroad.
5. Echoes in the Canyon – California dreamin’ music.
6. Amazing Grace – Aretha, the Queen of Soul, does gospel music as only she can.
7. Linda Ronstadt – The Sound of My Voice – So much great music from a velvet-voiced master of all genres.
8. Yesterday – Suppose no one ever heard of the Beatles, except the star of this film?
9. Rocket Man – Elton John gets the Bohemian Rhapsody treatment.
10. Roma – Last year’s Oscar winner, in black and white, with subtitles about life in Mexico sounds dull but was brilliantly put together.
11. The Upside – Not a great movie, but one of the few I saw that made me laugh, thanks to great chemistry between co-stars Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston.
12. The Inventor – Fascinating documentary on the rise and fall of would-be tycoon Elizabeth Homes, inventor of a machine that uses just a drop of blood to do hundreds of diagnostic tests. Only it didn’t work.
13. American Son – No better example of race issues in this country but on a very personal basis.
14. The Irishman – Martin Scorsese and friends go from Italian to Irish stereotypes.
15. The Two Popes – More than just a puff of smoke.
16. Pavarotti – When Pavarotti sings here with Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras, they make my heart soar.
Sunday, December 15, 2019
Random Thoughts - Holiday Edition
Here is how I can tell that it is really winter (no matter what the calendar says): The ice cream stand on Hamilton street is boarded up, I’m turning on the seat heater in the car to toast my tush, I have plugged in and filled my humidifier and I’m heating my towels in my towel warmer.
There must be scientific evidence that the colder it is outside, the greater chance you have of seeing some brave (translation: stupid) person wearing shorts outside. Mostly guys. Why? Why?
I like to think of myself as having a considerable knowledge of popular music, so it pains me to admit that while I like the music of the Doobie Brothers, I have never understood one word of the lyrics as sung by Michael McDonald. Is it just me?
That’s it! I have had enough of socks trying to escape from the dryer! From now on, they will be held captive in my new $2, perfectly-sized mesh bag from Walmart, where they will remain until they can be washed AND dried and returned back to the drawers where they belong without incident. I got you now, you sneaky socks!
And speaking of socks, I don’t want to say that I am indecisive, but there are some days when it takes me 10 minutes to figure out which socks to wear. Today I went through my four (that’s right, 4) sock drawers to resort the collection. What nearly 70-year-old woman owns this many socks? No wonder I can’t decide. I might be better off having a full collection of exactly the same socks so there would be no decision to make.
I find that my clothes dryer buzzes at me in a very belligerent tone. I may be taking it a bit too personally, but it is so persistent that I feel it is accusing me of neglect if I don’t extricate the load immediately.
Speaking of dryers, I recently saw an ad for a Dyson hair dryer that cost $399.99. Four hundred dollars to dry my hair? For that money, I want a professional hairdresser to come to my house with the dryer and style my hair so I look $400 better than if I did it myself!
Can you believe it has been 20 years since we were all in a panic, worried about the impending doom that we faced with Y2K? OMG, such hype! Luckily, nothing came of it besides endless meetings to discuss how all computer systems would crash and burn. 20 years!
Who decided how we are supposed to capitalize titles? Why use upper case in “Gone” but not in “with the?” Why not just initial cap each word and make it easier for everyone? Oh, right, this is English, and we never make anything nice and easy.
With all of the technological advancements we have seen in our time, including streaming video, why can’t SOMEONE invent a better way to search on Netflix? We need a way to replace the little arrow that we have to use to point at letters that are too small to see on the TV, one letter at a time. And even if we can say (shouting and enunciating like mad) the name of the program we are looking for, chances are that what we say won’t be understood. Who’s our best person to work on this issue?
The other day I woke up nauseous, dizzy, sleepy, dopey and grumpy. I’m just a few dwarfs short of a full set.
Have you ever noticed how many times a book is described as a “page turner?” If I were an author, I think I would publish under the pseudonym Page Turner.
I heard recently that Bumble Bee Tuna has filed for bankruptcy. Trust me, I have consumed enough of their tuna to keep them afloat for the last nearly 70 years. If Bumble Bee Solid White Fancy is no longer available, I will never eat tuna again! Meanwhile, I will be binge-buying and hoarding.
Speaking of which, how did I let my current stash get down to only ONE package? I refuse to buy it at ShopRite when Walmart sells exactly the same brand in the same size for 50 cents less than other stores. So, off to Walmart I go to restock! (PS – I bought a dozen packages this weekend.)
Living vicariously is so much easier than having your own life. No plane tickets to order, no packing, no waiting in the airport and you can just enjoy someone else’s pictures without having to go and take them yourself.
It amazes me how I can look for something and be absolutely sure I know where to find it and it is simply not there. And then I go back and check again and there it is, right where it was supposed to be. How does it disappear and then reappear when I go back? Magic?
I hate to admit it, but I missed my Alexa when I was away recently. No one to talk to about the weather or the correct time, no one to give me sports scores. I’m pretty sure she missed me, too.
Of all the things that have come and gone in my life, I have to say that those plastic 4- packs of Del Monte cling peaches in light syrup and Finesse Volumizing Shampoo are at the top of my list. I have had to order the shampoo online lately, but my last experience was a failure since the 3rd party supplier shipped me two huge bottles of Suave Softening Shampoo instead. I had to call to find out this company doesn’t carry my preferred Finesse and maybe should have let me know instead of arbitrarily deciding that Suave was the same. I also wanted to return the Suave but was told to keep it. Look for it at the local food bank.
I love a diner. Huge menu, plenty of choices, enormous servings, and, while I rarely succumb, they offer chocolate cream pie. But a small, local diner is especially good. As I sat at mine recently, I watched “the regulars” come in and the waitresses immediately show up with coffee. The place is so small and yet so busy that the wait staff, bus boys and cooks are all in a space about half the size of my office. Service is fast and turnover is frequent. Good food, good people. You get what you expect with the local diner.
I don’t understand how the Dollar Store can sell Hallmark cards for $1. Sometimes they are two for $1. They are still Hallmark cards. Is the paper thinner, are the designs less colorful? What makes them such a bargain? Not that I mind NOT spending close to $5 on a birthday card, but I just don’t get it.
At this time 13 years ago, I was preparing to retire from J&J after 34 years spent in Corporate Communications. I can’t believe 13 years has passed by so quickly. I also can’t believe that a few Johnson & Johnson pens that managed to leave the office along with me are still in working order. They took a licking and kept on ticking! And so did I!
There must be scientific evidence that the colder it is outside, the greater chance you have of seeing some brave (translation: stupid) person wearing shorts outside. Mostly guys. Why? Why?
I like to think of myself as having a considerable knowledge of popular music, so it pains me to admit that while I like the music of the Doobie Brothers, I have never understood one word of the lyrics as sung by Michael McDonald. Is it just me?
That’s it! I have had enough of socks trying to escape from the dryer! From now on, they will be held captive in my new $2, perfectly-sized mesh bag from Walmart, where they will remain until they can be washed AND dried and returned back to the drawers where they belong without incident. I got you now, you sneaky socks!
And speaking of socks, I don’t want to say that I am indecisive, but there are some days when it takes me 10 minutes to figure out which socks to wear. Today I went through my four (that’s right, 4) sock drawers to resort the collection. What nearly 70-year-old woman owns this many socks? No wonder I can’t decide. I might be better off having a full collection of exactly the same socks so there would be no decision to make.
I find that my clothes dryer buzzes at me in a very belligerent tone. I may be taking it a bit too personally, but it is so persistent that I feel it is accusing me of neglect if I don’t extricate the load immediately.
Speaking of dryers, I recently saw an ad for a Dyson hair dryer that cost $399.99. Four hundred dollars to dry my hair? For that money, I want a professional hairdresser to come to my house with the dryer and style my hair so I look $400 better than if I did it myself!
Can you believe it has been 20 years since we were all in a panic, worried about the impending doom that we faced with Y2K? OMG, such hype! Luckily, nothing came of it besides endless meetings to discuss how all computer systems would crash and burn. 20 years!
Who decided how we are supposed to capitalize titles? Why use upper case in “Gone” but not in “with the?” Why not just initial cap each word and make it easier for everyone? Oh, right, this is English, and we never make anything nice and easy.
With all of the technological advancements we have seen in our time, including streaming video, why can’t SOMEONE invent a better way to search on Netflix? We need a way to replace the little arrow that we have to use to point at letters that are too small to see on the TV, one letter at a time. And even if we can say (shouting and enunciating like mad) the name of the program we are looking for, chances are that what we say won’t be understood. Who’s our best person to work on this issue?
The other day I woke up nauseous, dizzy, sleepy, dopey and grumpy. I’m just a few dwarfs short of a full set.
Have you ever noticed how many times a book is described as a “page turner?” If I were an author, I think I would publish under the pseudonym Page Turner.
I heard recently that Bumble Bee Tuna has filed for bankruptcy. Trust me, I have consumed enough of their tuna to keep them afloat for the last nearly 70 years. If Bumble Bee Solid White Fancy is no longer available, I will never eat tuna again! Meanwhile, I will be binge-buying and hoarding.
Speaking of which, how did I let my current stash get down to only ONE package? I refuse to buy it at ShopRite when Walmart sells exactly the same brand in the same size for 50 cents less than other stores. So, off to Walmart I go to restock! (PS – I bought a dozen packages this weekend.)
Living vicariously is so much easier than having your own life. No plane tickets to order, no packing, no waiting in the airport and you can just enjoy someone else’s pictures without having to go and take them yourself.
It amazes me how I can look for something and be absolutely sure I know where to find it and it is simply not there. And then I go back and check again and there it is, right where it was supposed to be. How does it disappear and then reappear when I go back? Magic?
I hate to admit it, but I missed my Alexa when I was away recently. No one to talk to about the weather or the correct time, no one to give me sports scores. I’m pretty sure she missed me, too.
Of all the things that have come and gone in my life, I have to say that those plastic 4- packs of Del Monte cling peaches in light syrup and Finesse Volumizing Shampoo are at the top of my list. I have had to order the shampoo online lately, but my last experience was a failure since the 3rd party supplier shipped me two huge bottles of Suave Softening Shampoo instead. I had to call to find out this company doesn’t carry my preferred Finesse and maybe should have let me know instead of arbitrarily deciding that Suave was the same. I also wanted to return the Suave but was told to keep it. Look for it at the local food bank.
I love a diner. Huge menu, plenty of choices, enormous servings, and, while I rarely succumb, they offer chocolate cream pie. But a small, local diner is especially good. As I sat at mine recently, I watched “the regulars” come in and the waitresses immediately show up with coffee. The place is so small and yet so busy that the wait staff, bus boys and cooks are all in a space about half the size of my office. Service is fast and turnover is frequent. Good food, good people. You get what you expect with the local diner.
I don’t understand how the Dollar Store can sell Hallmark cards for $1. Sometimes they are two for $1. They are still Hallmark cards. Is the paper thinner, are the designs less colorful? What makes them such a bargain? Not that I mind NOT spending close to $5 on a birthday card, but I just don’t get it.
At this time 13 years ago, I was preparing to retire from J&J after 34 years spent in Corporate Communications. I can’t believe 13 years has passed by so quickly. I also can’t believe that a few Johnson & Johnson pens that managed to leave the office along with me are still in working order. They took a licking and kept on ticking! And so did I!
Monday, December 2, 2019
Tina's November 2019 Movies
I have hit the 150-movie mark for the year, and November had a few good ones and some old favorites. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, five being the highest. Movies marked with an asterisk were ones I had not seen previously.
136. Motherless Brooklyn* (2019) – I’m pretty sure I just saw an Oscar contender. This film noir about a gumshoe, his loyal friend, a bunch of bad guys, political corruption, abuse of power and a very odd affliction was written and directed by Edward Norton. He plays named Lionel, the detective with what appears to be Tourette’s syndrome. Bruce Willis has a brief but key role as the guy who runs the detective agency. This gripping drama has twists and turns and a topnotch cast to keep the viewer on edge. It is quirky, with some deadpan humor amid the outbursts of violence. The parallels to this story, set in the 1950s, reflect much of American life today. Alec Baldwin plays Moses Randolph, a power broker modeled after Robert Moses, the man who controlled the bridges, roads and tunnels in New York City and who had more power than any mayor. Randolph is so powerful and evil that Baldwin’s performance seemed modeled on his Saturday Night Live performance as President Trump. Add the element of a Harlem Jazz Club and a community activist who thinks Lionel is a newspaper reporter and reveals to him valuable info on the mystery he is trying to solve. You’re probably confused enough already, so rather than reading about this movie, just go and see it. It is definitely worth your time. 4 cans.
137. Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) – Ryan Gosling has never looked better than here, playing a “player” named Jacob, who is very successful picking up pretty young women. But his friend, a married but separated man named Cal (Steve Carell) is so inept, that Jacob takes Cal under his wing and schools his much older protégé. And then things get really complicated in this clever and entertaining plot. Secret crushes abound, all amusing and entertaining. Stellar cast (Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon and a bunch of great kid actors), laughs and those Gosling abs! 4½ cans.
138. Lost in America (1985) ¬– When ad man David (Albert Brooks) fails to get the promotion to which he feels entitled, he convinces his wife Linda (Julie Hagerty) to quit her job, liquidate their assets and buy a Winnebago so they can travel the country and find themselves. First stop? Las Vegas, where Linda manages to gamble away their “nest egg” while David sleeps. Can two yuppies become two hippies and live off the land? This is a clever comedy, filled with hilarious Brooks rants (he wrote the script, much of which sounds and seems improvised). The understated Hagerty‘s performance balances Brooks’ over-the-top madness. The best scene in the movie is when the adman Brooks tries to sell casino boss Garry Marshall on the idea of returning their money as a sure-fire way to attract more gamblers, despite Marshall’s contention that then everyone will want their money back. This movie is a winner. 4 cans.
139. Serving the Royals: Inside the Firm* (2015) – If you have ever had someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto your brush, or if someone has ironed your shoelaces, you have received the royal treatment. This behind-the-scenes documentary on Amazon Prime showcases the tasks, menial and more, that the staff of 1200 people who serve the British Monarchy undertake – for small wages – to serve royalty. This chatty film reveals secrets that should be covered by the signing of a non-disclosure agreement, but which the staff has shared anyway. Paul Burrell, long-time butler to Prince Charles and Lady Diana, readily tells some of the requirements of the positions. Walking the Queen’s Corgis is high on the list, as is the ironing of the sheets and most everything else and more that we all saw on “Downton Abbey.” 3 cans, because behind-the-scenes stuff always fascinates me.
140. Harriet* (2019) – This movie covers the legendary life of Harriet Tubman, a slave who runs away from Maryland to Philadelphia, where she becomes the best-known activist in the Underground Railroad, transporting slaves from the south to the north in search of freedom. Tubman (a stoic and charismatic Cynthia Erivo) ultimately was responsible for liberating hundreds of slaves with a blend of heroism and her belief that God gave her the strength and wisdom to act. The movie is an impressive accounting of Tubman’s ability to move stealthily back and forth, to disguise herself and to fear nothing. My only criticism is that she seems a bit like Wonder Woman at times. However, to me, the most important part of the movie was the realization that the majority of Southern white people saw themselves as the superior race and that owning slaves was their birthright. How anyone could justify owning another person just rocked me. It is remarkable that more than 100 years have passed and there persists this sense of superiority among some people that continues to manifest itself in everyday occurrences even in 2019. Harriet may be a hero, but so many of the people in this movie are the scum of the earth. 4 cans.
141. The Preppy Murder* (2019) – This multi-part series (aired on AMC and Sundance networks on TV) recounts the 1986 murder of Jennifer Levin by Robert Chambers, who killed the 18-year old in Central Park but claimed it was an accident that occurred during an episode of “rough sex.” This might have been the start of the “blame the victim” defense, and it was certainly a clear example of what we now refer to as “white privilege.” Chambers was tall, dark and handsome, living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and moved among a crowd of sons and daughters of the rich and famous. He was quickly identified as the killer and offered up a story that Jennifer was the aggressor and he was the victim, which his attorneys enhanced through a PR campaign that made him seem like a choirboy. The case was front-page news all over the city, and just getting a jury on the case was difficult because everyone in NYC knew about it from daily headlines. In case you don’t remember the conclusion of the case, I won’t discuss it here, but it is safe to say that being tall, dark and handsome doesn’t mean you are not a monster. 3½ cans.
142. Love Actually (2003) – I cannot possibly review this movie again, because by now EVERYONE knows I love it. The characters, the plot, the actors and even the songs make it a practically perfect romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson almost stealing the show. Just watch it if you haven’t already and you will see what I mean. The only flaw I can site is the irrelevant story about the porn actors who fall in love. That arc can be excised, and you wouldn’t miss it. 5 cans.
143. Very Ralph Lauren* (2019) – Ralph Lifschitz started as a boy in the Bronx and became an American icon, a fashion designer who had no training and couldn’t sketch but possessed the vision to develop clothing and create lifestyles for the past 50 years. This documentary on HBO lionizes him and his incredible sense of taste and style. From rich fabrics to layering, newly-named Lauren set new standards with his ubiquitous Polo brand that practically everyone recognizes. His name and tastes helped define style in America. 3 cans.
144. The Good Liar* (2019) – The title of this intriguing drama points to the main premise; there are plenty of lies and liars here, and good ones at that. Helen Mirren plays a widow who meets Roy (Ian McKellan) on-line and the two start up a relationship. Both are older people who have lost their spouses, and they seem very compatible, although she is not looking for a romantic relationship. Turns out, neither is he. Roy is a con man, interested in bilking the wealthy widow out of her money. He’s done it before, and he relishes the chase in doing it again. He’s not who he seems to be, a nice, gentle older man. And Mirren isn’t exactly merely a genteel woman, for that matter. It’s hard to say more without spilling the beans on the plot, but it is worth seeing this movie both for the performances of these mature actors as well as for a story with twists and turns. Cleverly done. 3½ cans.
145. It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood* (2019) – I really expected to LOVE this movie. After all, it features the always-reliable actor Tom Hanks as children’s education and TV icon Mr. Rogers, and who can say or even think ill of either of these gentlemen? But, to be honest, I found this film less than satisfying, bordering on boredom, as I sat through scenes where Mr. Rogers and a journalist named Lloyd (Mathew Rhys) sit across the table from each other in virtual silence. No wonder my companion and I fell asleep! Lloyd is assigned to write a magazine article about Mr. Rogers, and the cynical writer cannot find fault with the kindly Rogers. Enduring an awkward relationship with his own father makes Lloyd doubt the genuineness of Mr. Rogers, who eventually influences the young writer to reconnect with his family. There are no revelations here, no smoking guns or aspersions to cast. If you are looking for action, explosions, weapons or fighting, you are in the wrong neighborhood. 3 cans, mostly for kindness.
146. October Sky (1999) – A teenaged Jake Gyllenhaal plays high school student Homer Hickman, who, with his buddies, tries to create and launch rockets. Inspired by Soviet success with Sputnik, Homer eschews working in the coal mines of his West Virginia town, where his father and so many other residents work. His hero is Werner Von Braun, but in his tiny town, no one has resources or expertise outside the mine, so he and his friends, who became known as the “rocket boys,” had to be resourceful to get what they needed to create a rocket and compete in a contest for college scholarships. The one person who encourages him is a high school teacher (Laura Dern), who believes he can achieve his dreams. A bit melodramatic for my taste, but the movie is based on a true story, so I cannot scoff at it. 3 cans.
147. Strictly Background* (2007) – Imagine a funeral scene in a movie without people crying in the background, or a scene in a restaurant where only the stars of the movie are dining. That’s where “extras” come in, those people who have no lines but often stand in lines, hoping to be cast and hoping to see more than just their feet or the top of their heads in the film. They look like all of the rest of us, though sometimes looking like a specific “type” helps them get the job. This documentary focuses on 10 extras who constantly reach out to casting agencies and try to make an impression strong enough to land a part. And if they do, the pay scale is not even enough to live on. I thought this was a sad movie about people with very limited aspirations who relish every bone thrown their way and proudly point out the millisecond many of them appear – strictly in the background. Nonetheless, their roles help make a scene come to life. 3 cans.
148. The Object of My Affection (1998) – The ageless Jennifer Anniston and Paul Rudd play good friends Nina and George. They live together, enjoy watching movies and taking ballroom dancing lessons. They have so much in common – including the fact that they both like men. When Nina finds herself pregnant by her erstwhile boyfriend Vince, whom she tolerates but will never want to marry, she asks George, the loving friend who has no one special in his life (at least right now), to help her raise the baby. And then it gets complicated, as Nina’s growing affection for George cannot be returned in kind. This is a touching story about whom we love and how we love, with a large cast of characters (Alan Alda, Allison Janney, Ira Pankow) and new and old relationships. Plenty of charm makes it worth 3½ cans.
149. American Son* (2019) – It is a rainy night in Florida, and an anguished woman (Kerry Washington) paces around a police station waiting for news about her missing son, Jamal. She is worried, bitter, angry and mystified by the lone police officer who cannot seem to give her an update on why she was contacted, what “incident” her son was involved in, and where he is. The arrival of her white husband (Steven Pasquale) only serves to exacerbate the tension between the black woman and the young, white cop and the black officer who arrives at the station to handle the case. I saw a stage production of this story last year at the George Street Playhouse, so I knew what to expect, but seeing it on the small screen was nearly as intense as seeing it live. Don’t watch this movie unless you can devote your full attention to it. Washington, especially, commands it. This powerful drama is airing on Netflix. 4 cans.
150. Moonlight Mile* (2002) – It must be Jake Gyllenhaal Month here since this is my 2nd Jake movie. Here he plays Joe, a young man mourning the loss of his fiancé, who was killed randomly while sitting in a local restaurant. Her parents, Ben and JoJo (Dustin Hoffman and Susan Sarandon), cling to him for comfort, taking him into their home, their hearts and Ben’s business. No one asks him what HE wants, and he’s too quiet and shy to confess to them that he and their daughter actually had broken up three weeks before her death. Their palpable grief seems somewhat better with Joe around, since his presence and the pending court case against the shooter give them something to rail against instead of each other. But Joe is not facing reality, and when he meets a local waitress/postmaster, he faces the fact that he is living a lie. I don’t get the significance of the title, and I would have appreciated a bit more dialog from Joe, whose inner thoughts were not always obvious to me. And he has a horrible haircut. 3 cans.
136. Motherless Brooklyn* (2019) – I’m pretty sure I just saw an Oscar contender. This film noir about a gumshoe, his loyal friend, a bunch of bad guys, political corruption, abuse of power and a very odd affliction was written and directed by Edward Norton. He plays named Lionel, the detective with what appears to be Tourette’s syndrome. Bruce Willis has a brief but key role as the guy who runs the detective agency. This gripping drama has twists and turns and a topnotch cast to keep the viewer on edge. It is quirky, with some deadpan humor amid the outbursts of violence. The parallels to this story, set in the 1950s, reflect much of American life today. Alec Baldwin plays Moses Randolph, a power broker modeled after Robert Moses, the man who controlled the bridges, roads and tunnels in New York City and who had more power than any mayor. Randolph is so powerful and evil that Baldwin’s performance seemed modeled on his Saturday Night Live performance as President Trump. Add the element of a Harlem Jazz Club and a community activist who thinks Lionel is a newspaper reporter and reveals to him valuable info on the mystery he is trying to solve. You’re probably confused enough already, so rather than reading about this movie, just go and see it. It is definitely worth your time. 4 cans.
137. Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) – Ryan Gosling has never looked better than here, playing a “player” named Jacob, who is very successful picking up pretty young women. But his friend, a married but separated man named Cal (Steve Carell) is so inept, that Jacob takes Cal under his wing and schools his much older protégé. And then things get really complicated in this clever and entertaining plot. Secret crushes abound, all amusing and entertaining. Stellar cast (Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon and a bunch of great kid actors), laughs and those Gosling abs! 4½ cans.
138. Lost in America (1985) ¬– When ad man David (Albert Brooks) fails to get the promotion to which he feels entitled, he convinces his wife Linda (Julie Hagerty) to quit her job, liquidate their assets and buy a Winnebago so they can travel the country and find themselves. First stop? Las Vegas, where Linda manages to gamble away their “nest egg” while David sleeps. Can two yuppies become two hippies and live off the land? This is a clever comedy, filled with hilarious Brooks rants (he wrote the script, much of which sounds and seems improvised). The understated Hagerty‘s performance balances Brooks’ over-the-top madness. The best scene in the movie is when the adman Brooks tries to sell casino boss Garry Marshall on the idea of returning their money as a sure-fire way to attract more gamblers, despite Marshall’s contention that then everyone will want their money back. This movie is a winner. 4 cans.
139. Serving the Royals: Inside the Firm* (2015) – If you have ever had someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto your brush, or if someone has ironed your shoelaces, you have received the royal treatment. This behind-the-scenes documentary on Amazon Prime showcases the tasks, menial and more, that the staff of 1200 people who serve the British Monarchy undertake – for small wages – to serve royalty. This chatty film reveals secrets that should be covered by the signing of a non-disclosure agreement, but which the staff has shared anyway. Paul Burrell, long-time butler to Prince Charles and Lady Diana, readily tells some of the requirements of the positions. Walking the Queen’s Corgis is high on the list, as is the ironing of the sheets and most everything else and more that we all saw on “Downton Abbey.” 3 cans, because behind-the-scenes stuff always fascinates me.
140. Harriet* (2019) – This movie covers the legendary life of Harriet Tubman, a slave who runs away from Maryland to Philadelphia, where she becomes the best-known activist in the Underground Railroad, transporting slaves from the south to the north in search of freedom. Tubman (a stoic and charismatic Cynthia Erivo) ultimately was responsible for liberating hundreds of slaves with a blend of heroism and her belief that God gave her the strength and wisdom to act. The movie is an impressive accounting of Tubman’s ability to move stealthily back and forth, to disguise herself and to fear nothing. My only criticism is that she seems a bit like Wonder Woman at times. However, to me, the most important part of the movie was the realization that the majority of Southern white people saw themselves as the superior race and that owning slaves was their birthright. How anyone could justify owning another person just rocked me. It is remarkable that more than 100 years have passed and there persists this sense of superiority among some people that continues to manifest itself in everyday occurrences even in 2019. Harriet may be a hero, but so many of the people in this movie are the scum of the earth. 4 cans.
141. The Preppy Murder* (2019) – This multi-part series (aired on AMC and Sundance networks on TV) recounts the 1986 murder of Jennifer Levin by Robert Chambers, who killed the 18-year old in Central Park but claimed it was an accident that occurred during an episode of “rough sex.” This might have been the start of the “blame the victim” defense, and it was certainly a clear example of what we now refer to as “white privilege.” Chambers was tall, dark and handsome, living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and moved among a crowd of sons and daughters of the rich and famous. He was quickly identified as the killer and offered up a story that Jennifer was the aggressor and he was the victim, which his attorneys enhanced through a PR campaign that made him seem like a choirboy. The case was front-page news all over the city, and just getting a jury on the case was difficult because everyone in NYC knew about it from daily headlines. In case you don’t remember the conclusion of the case, I won’t discuss it here, but it is safe to say that being tall, dark and handsome doesn’t mean you are not a monster. 3½ cans.
142. Love Actually (2003) – I cannot possibly review this movie again, because by now EVERYONE knows I love it. The characters, the plot, the actors and even the songs make it a practically perfect romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson almost stealing the show. Just watch it if you haven’t already and you will see what I mean. The only flaw I can site is the irrelevant story about the porn actors who fall in love. That arc can be excised, and you wouldn’t miss it. 5 cans.
143. Very Ralph Lauren* (2019) – Ralph Lifschitz started as a boy in the Bronx and became an American icon, a fashion designer who had no training and couldn’t sketch but possessed the vision to develop clothing and create lifestyles for the past 50 years. This documentary on HBO lionizes him and his incredible sense of taste and style. From rich fabrics to layering, newly-named Lauren set new standards with his ubiquitous Polo brand that practically everyone recognizes. His name and tastes helped define style in America. 3 cans.
144. The Good Liar* (2019) – The title of this intriguing drama points to the main premise; there are plenty of lies and liars here, and good ones at that. Helen Mirren plays a widow who meets Roy (Ian McKellan) on-line and the two start up a relationship. Both are older people who have lost their spouses, and they seem very compatible, although she is not looking for a romantic relationship. Turns out, neither is he. Roy is a con man, interested in bilking the wealthy widow out of her money. He’s done it before, and he relishes the chase in doing it again. He’s not who he seems to be, a nice, gentle older man. And Mirren isn’t exactly merely a genteel woman, for that matter. It’s hard to say more without spilling the beans on the plot, but it is worth seeing this movie both for the performances of these mature actors as well as for a story with twists and turns. Cleverly done. 3½ cans.
145. It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood* (2019) – I really expected to LOVE this movie. After all, it features the always-reliable actor Tom Hanks as children’s education and TV icon Mr. Rogers, and who can say or even think ill of either of these gentlemen? But, to be honest, I found this film less than satisfying, bordering on boredom, as I sat through scenes where Mr. Rogers and a journalist named Lloyd (Mathew Rhys) sit across the table from each other in virtual silence. No wonder my companion and I fell asleep! Lloyd is assigned to write a magazine article about Mr. Rogers, and the cynical writer cannot find fault with the kindly Rogers. Enduring an awkward relationship with his own father makes Lloyd doubt the genuineness of Mr. Rogers, who eventually influences the young writer to reconnect with his family. There are no revelations here, no smoking guns or aspersions to cast. If you are looking for action, explosions, weapons or fighting, you are in the wrong neighborhood. 3 cans, mostly for kindness.
146. October Sky (1999) – A teenaged Jake Gyllenhaal plays high school student Homer Hickman, who, with his buddies, tries to create and launch rockets. Inspired by Soviet success with Sputnik, Homer eschews working in the coal mines of his West Virginia town, where his father and so many other residents work. His hero is Werner Von Braun, but in his tiny town, no one has resources or expertise outside the mine, so he and his friends, who became known as the “rocket boys,” had to be resourceful to get what they needed to create a rocket and compete in a contest for college scholarships. The one person who encourages him is a high school teacher (Laura Dern), who believes he can achieve his dreams. A bit melodramatic for my taste, but the movie is based on a true story, so I cannot scoff at it. 3 cans.
147. Strictly Background* (2007) – Imagine a funeral scene in a movie without people crying in the background, or a scene in a restaurant where only the stars of the movie are dining. That’s where “extras” come in, those people who have no lines but often stand in lines, hoping to be cast and hoping to see more than just their feet or the top of their heads in the film. They look like all of the rest of us, though sometimes looking like a specific “type” helps them get the job. This documentary focuses on 10 extras who constantly reach out to casting agencies and try to make an impression strong enough to land a part. And if they do, the pay scale is not even enough to live on. I thought this was a sad movie about people with very limited aspirations who relish every bone thrown their way and proudly point out the millisecond many of them appear – strictly in the background. Nonetheless, their roles help make a scene come to life. 3 cans.
148. The Object of My Affection (1998) – The ageless Jennifer Anniston and Paul Rudd play good friends Nina and George. They live together, enjoy watching movies and taking ballroom dancing lessons. They have so much in common – including the fact that they both like men. When Nina finds herself pregnant by her erstwhile boyfriend Vince, whom she tolerates but will never want to marry, she asks George, the loving friend who has no one special in his life (at least right now), to help her raise the baby. And then it gets complicated, as Nina’s growing affection for George cannot be returned in kind. This is a touching story about whom we love and how we love, with a large cast of characters (Alan Alda, Allison Janney, Ira Pankow) and new and old relationships. Plenty of charm makes it worth 3½ cans.
149. American Son* (2019) – It is a rainy night in Florida, and an anguished woman (Kerry Washington) paces around a police station waiting for news about her missing son, Jamal. She is worried, bitter, angry and mystified by the lone police officer who cannot seem to give her an update on why she was contacted, what “incident” her son was involved in, and where he is. The arrival of her white husband (Steven Pasquale) only serves to exacerbate the tension between the black woman and the young, white cop and the black officer who arrives at the station to handle the case. I saw a stage production of this story last year at the George Street Playhouse, so I knew what to expect, but seeing it on the small screen was nearly as intense as seeing it live. Don’t watch this movie unless you can devote your full attention to it. Washington, especially, commands it. This powerful drama is airing on Netflix. 4 cans.
150. Moonlight Mile* (2002) – It must be Jake Gyllenhaal Month here since this is my 2nd Jake movie. Here he plays Joe, a young man mourning the loss of his fiancé, who was killed randomly while sitting in a local restaurant. Her parents, Ben and JoJo (Dustin Hoffman and Susan Sarandon), cling to him for comfort, taking him into their home, their hearts and Ben’s business. No one asks him what HE wants, and he’s too quiet and shy to confess to them that he and their daughter actually had broken up three weeks before her death. Their palpable grief seems somewhat better with Joe around, since his presence and the pending court case against the shooter give them something to rail against instead of each other. But Joe is not facing reality, and when he meets a local waitress/postmaster, he faces the fact that he is living a lie. I don’t get the significance of the title, and I would have appreciated a bit more dialog from Joe, whose inner thoughts were not always obvious to me. And he has a horrible haircut. 3 cans.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Random Thoughts by Tina -- The Fall Edition
The cinnamon in my spice cabinet looks so much like the paprika that it is only a matter of time before some of the former ends up on a steak.
The other day I walked by a bakery and did not go in to buy anything. Now I think I deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor. And a cookie.
I don’t care what the calendar says; to me, it’s winter. The flannel sheets are on the bed, the mattress pad is turned on, the towel warmer awaits. It is dark by 5 and there has already been snow in the forecast. I’m not ready, mind you, but I am resigned to it. But wasn’t it just yesterday I was complaining about the heat? Now I can start complaining about the cold! I turned on the heat a month ago and banned the consumption of ice cream in my house. Bring on the soup!
When did homemade soup become such a craze? At the first sign of cold weather, Facebook is flooded with pictures of steaming homemade soup. Even I make a few homemade soups, but years ago heating a can of Campbell’s Chunky was acceptable. That said, I had better pull out the Dutch oven and start making soup!
Speaking of which, recently I was confused when I bought prepared soup at ShopRite that came in a plastic container and was labeled as “homemade.” Unless Judy from Accounting made it at home, how could this be anything but store-bought?
If you have a wrinkled garment, you are supposed to hang it in the bathroom while you take a shower and the wrinkles will go away. Why doesn’t that work on my body?
I have noticed that the mailboxes in my area now have such a tiny slot for the mail that we will all be stuffing our Holiday cards in there one at a time. I assume that this shrinking of the slot is a security measure, but the line at the drive-through mailbox will be longer than the line at Dunkin Donuts for Christmas Card mailings this year.
Making new friends means I have a new audience for my old stories that the old friends are no doubt sick of hearing by now.
Why do we sneeze? And why do we sneeze in patterns (I go for two sneezes, for example). Anyone? Anyone?
I have watched enough episodes of “20/20,” 48 Hours” and “Dateline” to know that we are always being followed and tracked, from pings from our cell phones, EZ Pass tolls, cameras mounted on traffic lights, your neighbors' and stores' security cameras, timestamped receipts and more. Just assume that unless you are abducted, your every step is traceable, all your messages will exist indefinitely and there will be a record of any crime you commit.
I think I used most of the hour I saved going from Daylight Savings Time to Eastern Standard Time to change my clocks. No two clocks in this house ever seem to be at the same time.
Please don’t tell anyone, but I am using hand cream on my feet. For now. Let’s keep this information our little secret.
Does everything have to come in pumpkin flavor or scent this time of year?
Whomever the grammar powers that be are, they recently decided that hyphenating a compound adjective was no longer necessary. Does that mean it is now incorrect to continue to follow the original rules? Despite what anyone says, I will continue to hyphenate, since this old dog is not ready, willing or able to learn a new trick.
When you get to a more mature age, like me, you begin to care less about what people think of you because they really don’t spend much time thinking of you at all.
At the top of my email this morning was an ad for Bail Bonds and how I could find my local bondsman. Maybe someone thought my birthday was way more raucous than it actually was. One of my friends said she would bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it. Yes, I have talented – and sketchy – friends.
The good news: When I recently ran out of strawberry jam, I remembered that I had an unopened jar of it in my pantry. Bad news: The unopened jar expired 6 months ago. And no, Jo, I am not eating it!
In all of the decades that I have watched baseball – and we are going back to 1959 here – I have never understood the reason for all that spitting. Who has that much saliva? How does it accumulate? Or is it sunflower seeds? All I know is that whenever I played a sport, I was always dry and couldn’t summon spit even if I wanted to – and I don’t.
Damn you, Hallmark! Not EVERYONE wants to start watching your endless Christmas movies in October. In my case, never! And Christmas music is already playing on multiple radio stations. I miss my Golden Girls.
I don’t think I have ever used any brand of Ketchup but Heinz. And my mayonnaise must be Hellman’s. And my tuna? It’s Bumble Bee or nothing for me (with NO mayonnaise!). You have to admire my brand loyalty (or stubborn streak).
When you have been friends with someone for 50+ years, your conversations not only include family and friends, but may drift over into such mundane topics as what you use to clean your toilet. So, I’ll share that I tried using a pumice stone to eliminate the ring around the bowl and had a successful outcome.
Why do I get creeped out by a shopping list found in the bottom of the cart? I’ll always try to get a different cart to avoid that situation, because I don’t want to touch the list to remove it.
For my AADC Book Club this month, we are reading “Educated” (seems appropriate for a college alumnae association). I read this book months ago, and now I am frantically re-reading it so I can recall the details and participate in the discussion. I may have to pull an all-nighter to get this done before tomorrow’s meeting! PS – It is a great book and worth reading, though I'm not sure it is worth reading twice!
The other day I walked by a bakery and did not go in to buy anything. Now I think I deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor. And a cookie.
I don’t care what the calendar says; to me, it’s winter. The flannel sheets are on the bed, the mattress pad is turned on, the towel warmer awaits. It is dark by 5 and there has already been snow in the forecast. I’m not ready, mind you, but I am resigned to it. But wasn’t it just yesterday I was complaining about the heat? Now I can start complaining about the cold! I turned on the heat a month ago and banned the consumption of ice cream in my house. Bring on the soup!
When did homemade soup become such a craze? At the first sign of cold weather, Facebook is flooded with pictures of steaming homemade soup. Even I make a few homemade soups, but years ago heating a can of Campbell’s Chunky was acceptable. That said, I had better pull out the Dutch oven and start making soup!
Speaking of which, recently I was confused when I bought prepared soup at ShopRite that came in a plastic container and was labeled as “homemade.” Unless Judy from Accounting made it at home, how could this be anything but store-bought?
If you have a wrinkled garment, you are supposed to hang it in the bathroom while you take a shower and the wrinkles will go away. Why doesn’t that work on my body?
I have noticed that the mailboxes in my area now have such a tiny slot for the mail that we will all be stuffing our Holiday cards in there one at a time. I assume that this shrinking of the slot is a security measure, but the line at the drive-through mailbox will be longer than the line at Dunkin Donuts for Christmas Card mailings this year.
Making new friends means I have a new audience for my old stories that the old friends are no doubt sick of hearing by now.
Why do we sneeze? And why do we sneeze in patterns (I go for two sneezes, for example). Anyone? Anyone?
I have watched enough episodes of “20/20,” 48 Hours” and “Dateline” to know that we are always being followed and tracked, from pings from our cell phones, EZ Pass tolls, cameras mounted on traffic lights, your neighbors' and stores' security cameras, timestamped receipts and more. Just assume that unless you are abducted, your every step is traceable, all your messages will exist indefinitely and there will be a record of any crime you commit.
I think I used most of the hour I saved going from Daylight Savings Time to Eastern Standard Time to change my clocks. No two clocks in this house ever seem to be at the same time.
Please don’t tell anyone, but I am using hand cream on my feet. For now. Let’s keep this information our little secret.
Does everything have to come in pumpkin flavor or scent this time of year?
Whomever the grammar powers that be are, they recently decided that hyphenating a compound adjective was no longer necessary. Does that mean it is now incorrect to continue to follow the original rules? Despite what anyone says, I will continue to hyphenate, since this old dog is not ready, willing or able to learn a new trick.
When you get to a more mature age, like me, you begin to care less about what people think of you because they really don’t spend much time thinking of you at all.
At the top of my email this morning was an ad for Bail Bonds and how I could find my local bondsman. Maybe someone thought my birthday was way more raucous than it actually was. One of my friends said she would bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it. Yes, I have talented – and sketchy – friends.
The good news: When I recently ran out of strawberry jam, I remembered that I had an unopened jar of it in my pantry. Bad news: The unopened jar expired 6 months ago. And no, Jo, I am not eating it!
In all of the decades that I have watched baseball – and we are going back to 1959 here – I have never understood the reason for all that spitting. Who has that much saliva? How does it accumulate? Or is it sunflower seeds? All I know is that whenever I played a sport, I was always dry and couldn’t summon spit even if I wanted to – and I don’t.
Damn you, Hallmark! Not EVERYONE wants to start watching your endless Christmas movies in October. In my case, never! And Christmas music is already playing on multiple radio stations. I miss my Golden Girls.
I don’t think I have ever used any brand of Ketchup but Heinz. And my mayonnaise must be Hellman’s. And my tuna? It’s Bumble Bee or nothing for me (with NO mayonnaise!). You have to admire my brand loyalty (or stubborn streak).
When you have been friends with someone for 50+ years, your conversations not only include family and friends, but may drift over into such mundane topics as what you use to clean your toilet. So, I’ll share that I tried using a pumice stone to eliminate the ring around the bowl and had a successful outcome.
Why do I get creeped out by a shopping list found in the bottom of the cart? I’ll always try to get a different cart to avoid that situation, because I don’t want to touch the list to remove it.
For my AADC Book Club this month, we are reading “Educated” (seems appropriate for a college alumnae association). I read this book months ago, and now I am frantically re-reading it so I can recall the details and participate in the discussion. I may have to pull an all-nighter to get this done before tomorrow’s meeting! PS – It is a great book and worth reading, though I'm not sure it is worth reading twice!
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