It turns out that those annoying strings on a banana have both a name and a purpose. They are called “phloem” (which sounds like phlegm to me; equally annoying) and their purpose is to distribute nutrients up and down the banana as it grows. We can think of them as the umbilical cord for bananas, I guess.
Life is too short to read books you don’t like. Being in a Book Club
forces you to read books which are not always what you would select.
The current offering falls into that category. I feel like I am back in
English Lit class and reading Beowulf again! So, let’s be more
selective in our Book Club choices!
Have you ever noticed that the kitchen table on “The Golden Girls” only
has three chairs? Poor Sophia always has to stand at the stove cooking
something, unless they get her a stool. They need a fourth chair, but
that chair would get in the way of a clear TV shot of the action.
Am I the only one worried about Cheryl and her “she-shed” that burned down? All-State says it was covered, but still…
The lady in front of me at Dollar Tree the other day spent $59. Do you know how many items that is (come on, the math isn’t so hard)? I don’t think there was a package of cookies left in the store when she was through.
Here’s how to solve one of life’s biggest conundrums: Require that EVERYONE must put down the lid on the toilet seat – not just the seat, but the lid. That means women and men, boys and girls, ALL have to take action and we are not discriminating against men who leave the seat up. The toilet looks much better closed, too.
Who is this J.D. Power guy and why does he think he knows which companies are the best in everything from cars to life insurance?
Not only is the daily newspaper THIN these days (even on Sundays, with Parade Magazine downsized), but the plastic bag it comes in could not get any thinner. You can hardly use it to clean up after your pet! I no longer subscribe, and nothing about the Star-Ledger’s diminished size and coverage could get me to re-up my subscription, which I stopped when I moved to this development and they could not seem to find me!
I just had the windows washed. Expect torrential downpours.
One of the things I like best about my DVR is the feature that allows me to press FAST FORWARD during the commercials on a recorded program and have it stop automatically as the program resumes. If you don’t have that feature or don’t know if you have it, it is worth checking. I think of that feature as EZ Pass for TV.
Watching “Beaches” was not the cheeriest way to start my day, I admit, but I love that movie!
No matter how hot it is outside, I always put on a jacket or sweatshirt when I go into the supermarket or Costco. It is freezing in those places!
It must be a rough day in the old washing machine when the clothes emerge inside out.
I typically keep my movie reviews separate from my “random thoughts,” but I will make an exception to comment on the 2005 movie “March of the Penguins.” This stunning documentary shows the King Penguins marching from Antarctica to their breeding ground, where they mate, give birth, go and get food and go home, all around the season (such as they are) in this intemperate climate. What struck me is when they start the mating process. I guess it is like a penguin singles bar. The male and female penguins size each other up and then select a mate, whom they pledge to be with monogamously until the births have come and gone and their babies are forced to be on their own. The women leave for food (a trip that takes many miles and weeks; it is NOT like a quick trip to ShopRite), and when they return, the males are carefully guarding their eggs. How they can tell who’s who is a real question to me since they all look alike. They emit some high-pitched sounds, which I can only assume helps them tell each other apart, but I picture Pete the Penguin saying to Harry the Penguin, “Have you seen Mary? I think that’s her over there with that look on her face, but I can’t tell. All I know is that I’m probably in big trouble.” Meanwhile, I expect Mary to be commiserating with her gang, telling the other ladies, “Pete never treats me special. He acts like I’m just like everyone else.” All this speculation was left out of the final cut but see the movie anyway. And you can make up your own story.
My Yankees have had more players on the Injured Reserve List this year than at any time I can recall. Even stellar broadcasters John Sterling and Michael Kay – who haven’t missed an assigned game in decades – have been unable to work due to medical issues. And yet the team is doing fine despite the injuries. Go figure.
And speaking of the IR List, I am about to go on it myself. Early in August I will be undergoing surgery for a torn rotator cuff, a bone spur, a calcium deposit and a frayed tendon in my right shoulder. Yes, I am right-handed. My surgeon assures me that he can go in arthroscopically and just “clean things up.” I’ll have a nerve block to kill the pain for the first 18-24 hours, he says, and then some pain pills. He makes it sound like it is NO BIG DEAL. However, my sister has had this surgery on each of her shoulders, and her take is a little different. And a friend confirms that just doing the simplest things – like getting dressed – will NOT be easy. The doc says I can drive in a couple of days, but I already have trouble getting the seatbelt on because of the pain, so I can’t imagine how that will be possible following surgery. My left arm has already gone on record to say that it is merely along for the ride, and if I think it will pick up the slack – in places like the bathroom and shower – I am afraid I will be sadly mistaken. So, if you see me next month with really bad hair and looking like 7 miles of bad road (I’m told sleeping is really difficult), please remember that I am on Injured Reserve. All those years of playing softball and reading about other people’s rotator cuff problems finally caught up with me. I just want to be able to hang things on the higher rack in the closet, fasten my seatbelt and pull up my pants without pain. Is that asking too much?
Because of this injury and my forthcoming surgery, I will have to stay offline for a while, and the break could not have come at a better time. I am getting bored and tired of pictures on Facebook of everyone’s second cousins, the dish they made for dinner last night, their pedicured feet facing the pool or on the beach, videos of animals and babies (or baby animals), and pictures of everyone’s vacation. The last straw was when a friend announced the passing of her “devoted fish.” Love you, Linda, but a devoted fish? Was there a funeral or did you just flush him into that great fishbowl in the sewer? Yeah, I am ready for a social media blackout, especially until I would be able to access the computer or phone without pain. So, don’t expect my usual clever and amusing posts for at least a couple of weeks, starting August 5. I’m sure you will all manage just fine without me.
Monday, July 15, 2019
Monday, July 1, 2019
Tina's June 2019 Movies
We are halfway through the year and I have seen 86 movies thus far. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top rating. Numbering picks up from the previous month and movies marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously.
73. Rocketman* (2019) – This biopic of the legendary performer/songwriter/singer Elton John pulls no punches in its portrayal of a man overlooked as a child by his mother and rejected by his father. His trajectory to fame and fortune, which began when he was teamed up with lyricist Bernie Taupin, brings him access to sex, drugs and anything else that money can buy – all addictive and sometimes life-shattering. The man who had everything was literally trying to take his own life shortly before donning yet another of his outrageous outfits and bringing down the house. When he finally comes out to his mother – who says she always knew he was gay – she tells him he will never be loved, delivering yet another rejection. In the end, she is wrong, but it took a lot of pills and anguish for Elton to find true happiness. The musical genius that is Elton John began when he was just a very young lad, and his ability to pair the moving words of Taupin with unforgettable melodies resulted in more memorable songs than you can even count, songs that will live forever. This movie gets it all right, starting with the casting Taron Egerton as Elton. He is in every scene, and his portrayal gives the story power, pain and poignancy. He is to Elton John what Rami Malek was to Freddy Mercury in last year’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” for which he won the Oscar. Throw in the soundtrack and the costumes – each a remarkable repeat of the feathers, hats, boas, platform shoes and other attire favored by John (who, early in his performing career, is urged to liven up his wardrobe from his own drab clothing) – and you have a movie what does justice to a one-of-a-kind performer. And after all his trials and tribulations, Elton John is still standing. 4 cans.
74. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) – It is so hard to watch this movie and know that Robin Williams is no longer with us. He gives a tour de force performance playing the ex-husband turned nanny/housekeeper to Sally Fields and their children. The mostly unemployed actor is looking for a job and wants to spend more time with his children. Mom Fields needs someone to look after the kids when they get home from school. So, Daniel (Williams) dons a wig and dowdy clothes, affects an old fashioned accent and gets the job. Mrs. Doubtfire is a much better caregiver than Daniel was a father, and he works his/her way into the hearts of everyone – everyone except Field’s new boyfriend (Pierce Brosnan). This movie scores really high on the charm scale, and the exceptional talent that Williams always brought to his movies makes the viewer love him and his comedy bits. Rumor has it that the movie is being turned into a Broadway musical. I’d see it for sure, but I will miss Robin Williams. 4 cans.
75. Manhattan (1979) – Woody Allen directed, wrote and stars in this ode to the city he loves. His first lines in the movie summarize the sense of it perfectly, as his character, Issac Davis, says in attempting to write a book: “Chapter One. He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. Eh uh, no, make that he, he romanticized it all out of proportion. Better. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin. Uh, no, let me start this over.” This black and white beauty of a movie is visually stunning. That iconic shot of Allen and co-star Diane Keaton sitting on a bench looking at the Brooklyn Bridge is gorgeous. But these days I look at Allen as an exploiter of women, a fantasizer who believes it is plausible for a 42-year old writer to have a serious relationship with a beautiful 17-year old (Mariel Hemingway) and then dump her for his married best friend’s paramour (Keaton). Or that a gorgeous Meryl Streep would ever have married this mess of a man. Streep dumps him for another woman, which is soul-crushing, especially when she writes a book about their relationship. Typical of Allen films, he plays a neurotic who always gets the girl. He is an intellectual bully, always playing smarter than everyone else and barely tolerant of those he considers to be beneath him. But it is a visually arresting movie and there are some good lines. 3½ cans.
76. Terms of Endearment (1983) – This movie has been in the top 5 of my all-time favorite movies for years. According to IMDB, the movie website, it “follows hard-to-please Aurora looking for love, and her daughter’s family problems.” Talk about understatement! It IS about love – between a mother and daughter (Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger), a husband and wife (Winger and Jeff Daniels) a more mature couple (MacLaine and the man with the killer smile, Jack Nicholson), between two girlfriends (Winger and Lisa Hart Carroll), between a young mother and her children, and it remains as captivating and full of memorable lines as ever (“Give my daughter her medication!” “I was this close to a clean getaway.”) Rumor has it that Winger and MacLaine did not get along, but their sparring parts contain so much love that they had to be great actresses to pull it off. If you have never seen this movie, I implore you, watch it – NOW! 5 cans.
77. Late Night* (2019) – TV host Katherine (Emma Thompson) and her show are way past their prime, with the formidable Katherine refusing to realize that she needs to shake things up – until the network president tells her that she is going to be replaced. Along comes the earnest Molly (Mindy Kaling), straight from her QA job at a chemical plant, who becomes the first woman in the all-white male writer’s room. She is not quickly accepted, and with a dearth of real experience in comedy, her hiring seems more than a little preposterous. But she gets it, and she’s not afraid to share her thoughts with her icon boss. Thompson is not playing her character from “Remains of the Day” here; she seems like Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada,” over-the-top bossy and unyielding. But you know she’s going to soften, and that the rookie will save the day (more or less). This workplace comedy – written by Kaling, who knows a bit about the subject from her years on “The Office” – is about the best we can expect these days as far as funny movies are concerned. No great and memorable lines we will quote in 20 years, just arrogance from the fraternity of writers and the star herself and warmth and toughness from the new writer. I wish funny movies were funnier. Bring back “When Harry Met Sally!” 3½ cans.
78. Murder Mystery* (2019) – When you go to Netflix, this new movie will be among the first things you see. Do yourself a favor and don’t watch it. Jennifer Anniston is a good comic actor, but she plays her part just like the way she played Rachel on “Friends” or every other comedic part she’s had. Here she is married to a police detective (Adam Sandler) who can’t even shoot straight, and the two abandon their long-delayed honeymoon to accept an offer to join a large group on a private yacht. Immediately, the patriarch of the family is stabbed to death, setting off a chain of events in this “Murder on the Orient Express” type plot. Anniston is average, and Sandler is just as annoying as he always is to me. No worries about spoilers here: After waking up from an hour-long nap during the movie, I rewatched the majority of it and then decided it wasn’t worth a minute more of my time. Think of how much of your time I just saved you. 0 cans for an incomplete.
79. The Wife (2018) – I can’t believe that Glenn Close did NOT win the Oscar for her performance as a wife seething with resentment and disdain for her acclaimed author husband who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills. He publicly professes his love for her. And then he hands her his coat to hold. Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage. There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.” Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife. Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough. Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography. Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly. I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film. 4 cans.
80. My Dog Skip (2000) – I took my then 7-year old nephew to the movies to see this film when it was originally released, and by the end, the poor kid had to pat my back and comfort me to get me to stop sobbing – and I don’t even like animals! Frankie Munoz plays Willie, a 9-year old boy who doesn’t quite fit in with the other kids in his small Mississippi town, an only child whose best friend is the star high school athlete next door. When Dink (Luke Wilson) goes into the Army, Willy’s parents get him a puppy, whom he names Skip. Soon Skip has the run of the town, trotting over to the grocery store for a piece of bologna and eagerly accompanying young Willie as he goes through the joys and experiences of growing up. Watching this today for the first time since 2000, I found myself sobbing once again. Diane Lane and Kevin Bacon play the parents, and there’s no need to reveal the plot since it is a slice of life story that needs to be seen. I don’t think I can watch it again, but I am glad I took the time for this boy and his dog. 4½ cans.
81. Sunrise at Campobello (1964) – Having just visited the Roosevelt estate in Hyde Park in May, I was interested in seeing this drama about President Franklin Roosevelt’s coping with the infantile paralysis that crippled him as it is portrayed in this movie. Ralph Bellamy plays a strapping FDR, roughhousing with his bunch of kids at Campobello and driving Eleanor (the gorgeous Greer Garson has been somehow de-beautified – especially with bad teeth) a little crazy. The diagnosis of his paralysis is devastating to a man with great political ambition. Would the public vote for someone in a wheelchair to be president? FDR’s advisor Louis Howe (Hume Cronyn) stays by his side, directing the comeback, until FDR can literally stand on his own. This is a dramatic – perhaps overly dramatic – account of the first steps taken by Franklin Delano Roosevelt on his path to the presidency. 3½ cans.
82. Erin Brockovich (2000) – Julia Roberts portrays the real-life title character, an unemployed single mother with bills to pay and a failed lawsuit resulting from a car accident. Desperate, she talks her way into a job with her lawyer, and through dogged determination (and considerable use of her trashy wardrobe), she unearths a connection between real estate deals and medical issues related to pollution in California. Untrained as a lawyer or investigator, Erin talks to the victims and draws out the thread that ties together the neighbors and cancer. She and her boss (Albert Finney) go after Pacific Gas & Electric for dumping hazardous waste into the local water supply in a landmark case. Roberts took home the Oscar as Best Actress. 4 cans.
83. Echo in the Canyon* (2019) – This delicious documentary was playing at my favorite theater, Montgomery Cinema, and as soon as I saw the previews, I was hooked. The movie is a love letter to all those hip, cool musicians who took folk music and rock and created that iconic California sound, equal parts melody, poetry and a little free love and weed. Jakob Dylan serves as the tour guide and plays some of the tunes that made the Byrds, Buffalo Springfield, Cosby Stills and Nash and the Mamas and Papas the influential artists that inspired others and each other. But nobody inspired all of them as much as the Beatles, who begat Roger McGuinn, who influenced the so many more, and on and on we go. And then there was Brian Wilson, the musical genius behind the Beach Boys. They say Wilson’s iconic album “Pet Sounds” led to the Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper, which stayed on the charts for three years. All of this music emanated from the windy road of Laurel Canyon, where these artists flocked and would show up with their guitars to play for and with each other. If you like the harmonies, melodies and lyrics of songs from the early to late 60s, this song’s for you. And you get to see the late, great Tom Petty being interviewed by Dylan. 4 cans.
84. Eight Days a Week - The Beatles on Tour*(2016) – Speaking of memorable music, this look at the Beatles on tour is a fantastic collection of their work just as they hit it big in the early 60s. Director Ron Howard stitches together tons of footage that shows them evolving from the lovable lads of Liverpool to truly accomplished composers and musicians. As they took on large and larger venues, they began to sacrifice their personal time and places to create new music in favor of performing – because their record deal was not as lucrative as the proceeds from touring. So much of the era’s best work is on display here, along with interviews with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. It is just a shame they lasted such a short time together, but their prolific body of work will live forever. You can catch this film on PBS. 4 cans.
85. Nothing Left Unsaid; Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper (2016) – Some things you just can’t make up, and the life of Gloria Vanderbilt, the “poor little rich girl,” is at the top of that list. As a child, she was already an heiress of the Vanderbilt fortune when she became the object of a custody dispute between her very young mother and her aunt. She grew up, married and divorced many times, had children, became a fashion icon, a painter and an actress. And let’s face it, most of us wore her famous jeans – in fact, I still do. This documentary (aired on HBO), a series of talks between Vanderbilt and her son, journalist Anderson Cooper, covers it all, from her childhood to his. The toughest part to watch is her recounting how her son Carter, Anderson’s older brother, jumped from the window of his mother’s NYC penthouse to commit suicide. Gloria ust died in June, and this film recounting her engrossing life story was my way of paying homage to this unusual and fascinating woman. 3½ cans.
86. Fracture (2007) – If you like stylish, suspenseful murder mysteries, you can start with this one. Anthony Hopkins is aeronautics engineer who comes home early one day and shoots his wife in the head. Ryan Gosling is a hotshot prosecutor with one foot out the door, on his way to a cushy job at a fancy law firm, when he gets what seems to be a can’t-lose case. Except that the alleged shooter is annoyingly clever and gets under his skin. For some reason, the movie has never seemed to achieve the acclaim in deserves. Watch it and judge for yourself. 4 cans.
73. Rocketman* (2019) – This biopic of the legendary performer/songwriter/singer Elton John pulls no punches in its portrayal of a man overlooked as a child by his mother and rejected by his father. His trajectory to fame and fortune, which began when he was teamed up with lyricist Bernie Taupin, brings him access to sex, drugs and anything else that money can buy – all addictive and sometimes life-shattering. The man who had everything was literally trying to take his own life shortly before donning yet another of his outrageous outfits and bringing down the house. When he finally comes out to his mother – who says she always knew he was gay – she tells him he will never be loved, delivering yet another rejection. In the end, she is wrong, but it took a lot of pills and anguish for Elton to find true happiness. The musical genius that is Elton John began when he was just a very young lad, and his ability to pair the moving words of Taupin with unforgettable melodies resulted in more memorable songs than you can even count, songs that will live forever. This movie gets it all right, starting with the casting Taron Egerton as Elton. He is in every scene, and his portrayal gives the story power, pain and poignancy. He is to Elton John what Rami Malek was to Freddy Mercury in last year’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” for which he won the Oscar. Throw in the soundtrack and the costumes – each a remarkable repeat of the feathers, hats, boas, platform shoes and other attire favored by John (who, early in his performing career, is urged to liven up his wardrobe from his own drab clothing) – and you have a movie what does justice to a one-of-a-kind performer. And after all his trials and tribulations, Elton John is still standing. 4 cans.
74. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) – It is so hard to watch this movie and know that Robin Williams is no longer with us. He gives a tour de force performance playing the ex-husband turned nanny/housekeeper to Sally Fields and their children. The mostly unemployed actor is looking for a job and wants to spend more time with his children. Mom Fields needs someone to look after the kids when they get home from school. So, Daniel (Williams) dons a wig and dowdy clothes, affects an old fashioned accent and gets the job. Mrs. Doubtfire is a much better caregiver than Daniel was a father, and he works his/her way into the hearts of everyone – everyone except Field’s new boyfriend (Pierce Brosnan). This movie scores really high on the charm scale, and the exceptional talent that Williams always brought to his movies makes the viewer love him and his comedy bits. Rumor has it that the movie is being turned into a Broadway musical. I’d see it for sure, but I will miss Robin Williams. 4 cans.
75. Manhattan (1979) – Woody Allen directed, wrote and stars in this ode to the city he loves. His first lines in the movie summarize the sense of it perfectly, as his character, Issac Davis, says in attempting to write a book: “Chapter One. He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. Eh uh, no, make that he, he romanticized it all out of proportion. Better. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin. Uh, no, let me start this over.” This black and white beauty of a movie is visually stunning. That iconic shot of Allen and co-star Diane Keaton sitting on a bench looking at the Brooklyn Bridge is gorgeous. But these days I look at Allen as an exploiter of women, a fantasizer who believes it is plausible for a 42-year old writer to have a serious relationship with a beautiful 17-year old (Mariel Hemingway) and then dump her for his married best friend’s paramour (Keaton). Or that a gorgeous Meryl Streep would ever have married this mess of a man. Streep dumps him for another woman, which is soul-crushing, especially when she writes a book about their relationship. Typical of Allen films, he plays a neurotic who always gets the girl. He is an intellectual bully, always playing smarter than everyone else and barely tolerant of those he considers to be beneath him. But it is a visually arresting movie and there are some good lines. 3½ cans.
76. Terms of Endearment (1983) – This movie has been in the top 5 of my all-time favorite movies for years. According to IMDB, the movie website, it “follows hard-to-please Aurora looking for love, and her daughter’s family problems.” Talk about understatement! It IS about love – between a mother and daughter (Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger), a husband and wife (Winger and Jeff Daniels) a more mature couple (MacLaine and the man with the killer smile, Jack Nicholson), between two girlfriends (Winger and Lisa Hart Carroll), between a young mother and her children, and it remains as captivating and full of memorable lines as ever (“Give my daughter her medication!” “I was this close to a clean getaway.”) Rumor has it that Winger and MacLaine did not get along, but their sparring parts contain so much love that they had to be great actresses to pull it off. If you have never seen this movie, I implore you, watch it – NOW! 5 cans.
77. Late Night* (2019) – TV host Katherine (Emma Thompson) and her show are way past their prime, with the formidable Katherine refusing to realize that she needs to shake things up – until the network president tells her that she is going to be replaced. Along comes the earnest Molly (Mindy Kaling), straight from her QA job at a chemical plant, who becomes the first woman in the all-white male writer’s room. She is not quickly accepted, and with a dearth of real experience in comedy, her hiring seems more than a little preposterous. But she gets it, and she’s not afraid to share her thoughts with her icon boss. Thompson is not playing her character from “Remains of the Day” here; she seems like Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada,” over-the-top bossy and unyielding. But you know she’s going to soften, and that the rookie will save the day (more or less). This workplace comedy – written by Kaling, who knows a bit about the subject from her years on “The Office” – is about the best we can expect these days as far as funny movies are concerned. No great and memorable lines we will quote in 20 years, just arrogance from the fraternity of writers and the star herself and warmth and toughness from the new writer. I wish funny movies were funnier. Bring back “When Harry Met Sally!” 3½ cans.
78. Murder Mystery* (2019) – When you go to Netflix, this new movie will be among the first things you see. Do yourself a favor and don’t watch it. Jennifer Anniston is a good comic actor, but she plays her part just like the way she played Rachel on “Friends” or every other comedic part she’s had. Here she is married to a police detective (Adam Sandler) who can’t even shoot straight, and the two abandon their long-delayed honeymoon to accept an offer to join a large group on a private yacht. Immediately, the patriarch of the family is stabbed to death, setting off a chain of events in this “Murder on the Orient Express” type plot. Anniston is average, and Sandler is just as annoying as he always is to me. No worries about spoilers here: After waking up from an hour-long nap during the movie, I rewatched the majority of it and then decided it wasn’t worth a minute more of my time. Think of how much of your time I just saved you. 0 cans for an incomplete.
79. The Wife (2018) – I can’t believe that Glenn Close did NOT win the Oscar for her performance as a wife seething with resentment and disdain for her acclaimed author husband who has just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. She is the wife, the woman who carries his extra glasses and reminds him to take his pills. He publicly professes his love for her. And then he hands her his coat to hold. Underneath her placid exterior is an intelligent, talented woman simmering with disappointment bordering on rage. There were moments when I thought she (Glenn Close) would start to display some of the character she played in “Fatal Attraction.” Close gives an outstanding performance as the wife. Jonathan Pryce plays her renowned but hapless (in so many ways) husband, a proud and priggish man who thinks public proclamations of his adoration of his wife Joanie are enough. Christian Slater is a man trying to win both of them over so he can write the writer’s biography. Slater can be a smarmy sort, which fits this character perfectly. I can’t say more without giving away the plot, but I will reveal that no rabbits were boiled in the making of this film. 4 cans.
80. My Dog Skip (2000) – I took my then 7-year old nephew to the movies to see this film when it was originally released, and by the end, the poor kid had to pat my back and comfort me to get me to stop sobbing – and I don’t even like animals! Frankie Munoz plays Willie, a 9-year old boy who doesn’t quite fit in with the other kids in his small Mississippi town, an only child whose best friend is the star high school athlete next door. When Dink (Luke Wilson) goes into the Army, Willy’s parents get him a puppy, whom he names Skip. Soon Skip has the run of the town, trotting over to the grocery store for a piece of bologna and eagerly accompanying young Willie as he goes through the joys and experiences of growing up. Watching this today for the first time since 2000, I found myself sobbing once again. Diane Lane and Kevin Bacon play the parents, and there’s no need to reveal the plot since it is a slice of life story that needs to be seen. I don’t think I can watch it again, but I am glad I took the time for this boy and his dog. 4½ cans.
81. Sunrise at Campobello (1964) – Having just visited the Roosevelt estate in Hyde Park in May, I was interested in seeing this drama about President Franklin Roosevelt’s coping with the infantile paralysis that crippled him as it is portrayed in this movie. Ralph Bellamy plays a strapping FDR, roughhousing with his bunch of kids at Campobello and driving Eleanor (the gorgeous Greer Garson has been somehow de-beautified – especially with bad teeth) a little crazy. The diagnosis of his paralysis is devastating to a man with great political ambition. Would the public vote for someone in a wheelchair to be president? FDR’s advisor Louis Howe (Hume Cronyn) stays by his side, directing the comeback, until FDR can literally stand on his own. This is a dramatic – perhaps overly dramatic – account of the first steps taken by Franklin Delano Roosevelt on his path to the presidency. 3½ cans.
82. Erin Brockovich (2000) – Julia Roberts portrays the real-life title character, an unemployed single mother with bills to pay and a failed lawsuit resulting from a car accident. Desperate, she talks her way into a job with her lawyer, and through dogged determination (and considerable use of her trashy wardrobe), she unearths a connection between real estate deals and medical issues related to pollution in California. Untrained as a lawyer or investigator, Erin talks to the victims and draws out the thread that ties together the neighbors and cancer. She and her boss (Albert Finney) go after Pacific Gas & Electric for dumping hazardous waste into the local water supply in a landmark case. Roberts took home the Oscar as Best Actress. 4 cans.
83. Echo in the Canyon* (2019) – This delicious documentary was playing at my favorite theater, Montgomery Cinema, and as soon as I saw the previews, I was hooked. The movie is a love letter to all those hip, cool musicians who took folk music and rock and created that iconic California sound, equal parts melody, poetry and a little free love and weed. Jakob Dylan serves as the tour guide and plays some of the tunes that made the Byrds, Buffalo Springfield, Cosby Stills and Nash and the Mamas and Papas the influential artists that inspired others and each other. But nobody inspired all of them as much as the Beatles, who begat Roger McGuinn, who influenced the so many more, and on and on we go. And then there was Brian Wilson, the musical genius behind the Beach Boys. They say Wilson’s iconic album “Pet Sounds” led to the Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper, which stayed on the charts for three years. All of this music emanated from the windy road of Laurel Canyon, where these artists flocked and would show up with their guitars to play for and with each other. If you like the harmonies, melodies and lyrics of songs from the early to late 60s, this song’s for you. And you get to see the late, great Tom Petty being interviewed by Dylan. 4 cans.
84. Eight Days a Week - The Beatles on Tour*(2016) – Speaking of memorable music, this look at the Beatles on tour is a fantastic collection of their work just as they hit it big in the early 60s. Director Ron Howard stitches together tons of footage that shows them evolving from the lovable lads of Liverpool to truly accomplished composers and musicians. As they took on large and larger venues, they began to sacrifice their personal time and places to create new music in favor of performing – because their record deal was not as lucrative as the proceeds from touring. So much of the era’s best work is on display here, along with interviews with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. It is just a shame they lasted such a short time together, but their prolific body of work will live forever. You can catch this film on PBS. 4 cans.
85. Nothing Left Unsaid; Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper (2016) – Some things you just can’t make up, and the life of Gloria Vanderbilt, the “poor little rich girl,” is at the top of that list. As a child, she was already an heiress of the Vanderbilt fortune when she became the object of a custody dispute between her very young mother and her aunt. She grew up, married and divorced many times, had children, became a fashion icon, a painter and an actress. And let’s face it, most of us wore her famous jeans – in fact, I still do. This documentary (aired on HBO), a series of talks between Vanderbilt and her son, journalist Anderson Cooper, covers it all, from her childhood to his. The toughest part to watch is her recounting how her son Carter, Anderson’s older brother, jumped from the window of his mother’s NYC penthouse to commit suicide. Gloria ust died in June, and this film recounting her engrossing life story was my way of paying homage to this unusual and fascinating woman. 3½ cans.
86. Fracture (2007) – If you like stylish, suspenseful murder mysteries, you can start with this one. Anthony Hopkins is aeronautics engineer who comes home early one day and shoots his wife in the head. Ryan Gosling is a hotshot prosecutor with one foot out the door, on his way to a cushy job at a fancy law firm, when he gets what seems to be a can’t-lose case. Except that the alleged shooter is annoyingly clever and gets under his skin. For some reason, the movie has never seemed to achieve the acclaim in deserves. Watch it and judge for yourself. 4 cans.
Friday, June 14, 2019
Thoughts of Spring
I woke up this morning feeling itchy, achy, anxious and cranky. I’m well on my way to creating a new set of 7 Dwarfs.
I didn’t have much food in the house the other day, so I just had a sandwich for lunch. OK, it was an ice cream sandwich, but it was a sandwich…
I must confess that I am a bit skeptical when I read detailed memoirs. How can the authors recall the date, time and specifics from incidents that happened years ago (unless they took copious notes even as children)? I can’t remember what I ate for lunch. Oh, right, it was an ice cream sandwich.
In case you missed it, Heinz, the brand long associated with ketchup, now has introduced mustard. My first thought was, “What took you so long?” After all, Heinz has been selling ketchup forever; ketchup is used on hamburgers; hamburgers are often served with hotdogs; mustard goes on hotdogs. Follow the logic? I wonder whether Heinz will become the "gold" standard of mustard. And Heinz also has launched the Heinz version of “Real Mayonnaise.” Look out, Hellman’s! Heinz is coming for you, too.
I never know whether I wake up at 4 am because I have to go to the bathroom or if I go to the bathroom at 4 am because I’m up.
I’m having a good hair day, but the only person who would know that besides me is the cashier at Costco. She didn’t mention it.
I think the resemblance between chocolate chips (a very good thing) and raisins (dried up grapes) is unfair in things like cookies, muffins and scones. I’m always disappointed when what I think is a chocolate chip cookie turns out to be oatmeal raisin.
We are already living in a self-centered world, and increasingly our world is becoming more about self-service. I just found out that the two branches of Chase Bank near me will no longer offer teller services. You can use the ATM (which is the original self-service part of the bank), but you can’t cash a check, break a hundred-dollar bill or even grab a lollipop, I guess. You can start a new account, but I’m not sure how to handle my existing one without any help on hand. I already pay most of my bills online, which is about as self-sufficient as I care to be. What happens when I need to cash a check? I guess I will be forced to download yet another self-service app and take a picture of the check to deposit it electronically. This move means that I have to do more, and the people employed by the bank will be cashing unemployment checks. Just not at that branch.
Whatever happened to paper bags? The push is on to ban all plastic bags in the grocery store, and I often bring my own bags to transport my haul home, but I need paper to hold my recycling of magazines, junk mail, etc. When I find them available at the register, I notice that they are thin to the point of being flimsy, and they are barely tall enough to hold a box of Special K. How am I supposed to recycle the paper stuff without a paper bag?
The word “extraordinary” SHOULD mean really ordinary, not better than ordinary. That meaning should be UNORDINARY.
I am a victim of stalking - by a big, fat fly! For three 3 days, this persistent pest followed me around the house like a house pet -- unless, of course, there is a battalion of flies waiting in each room to buzz past my ear while I swat at them futilely! I got plenty of suggestions on how to handle this situation, from getting a cat (never going to happen) to spraying him with either starch (who keeps spray starch around anymore? I could maybe hurl a potato in his direction, but he was so fast and elusive…), hairspray or Windex (this from a friend of Greek origin, and if you know the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” you know the family patriarch used Windex to solve all of life’s problems). Finally, tuckered out from all that buzzing around and presumably thinking that I had left the house, he settled on the kitchen table, where I was able to sneak up behind him and end it all with my trusty fly swatter. I need a nap.
I am patting myself on the back for fixing the igniter on my Weber grill. I couldn’t even find the paperwork for the grill to order a new one, but I found a video on YouTube that did the trick. All it needed was a new battery. Who knew that an igniter HAD a battery? Throw the shrimp on the barbie!
It’s a good thing that no one can see or read the content in the bubble over my head when I am listening to someone drone on about something of no interest to me.
I saw a cartoon showing a CVS receipt getting stuck in multiple trees. I could do a month’s worth of shopping in Costco and the receipt would be a fraction of the length of one from CVS.
I think we all go to the supermarket for just one or two things and walk out with two bags and at least $40 poorer. And if you go to Costco, just hand them $100 as you walk in, because that’s what it will cost you when you try to leave the building. Or more. Once I went there to buy a rotisserie chicken and came out with a new set of cordless phones. All told, it cost me about $100. I still have and use the phones, and the chicken was delicious.
You know you’re getting old when you have more ice packs in your freezer than actual food.
I can’t believe I am still watching “Survivor!” But it takes me until the last two episodes to finally learn the names of the contestants.
When you are in a book club, you read books you otherwise might not have read, some of which you love, and some of which you may dislike. I was trying to force myself to read one recently that I really didn’t like and finally gave up. I figured that champion home organizer Marie Kondo would say I should stop reading because the book did not bring me joy.
I can tell when my friends have been busy all day because suddenly there will be an influx of “LIKES” on my Facebook page.
After about eight years of wearing the same glasses, it is time for a new prescription and new frames. But picking out new frames is daunting, especially if, like me, you wear glasses every day. I wouldn’t want to wear contacts or have surgery and not need glasses, since they are so much a part of me and my identity. I just don’t know yet what I want or how I look. This is a high stakes venture. Thank goodness I have a friend standing by to provide objective advice on which frames to choose.
Spring means it is time to plant flowers, but between physical ailments (back and shoulder) and general laziness, I could not do this chore on my own. One of my avid gardener friends says digging in the dirt brings her joy. I hate digging in the dirt, so instead, my landscape guy, Pedro, takes care of it for me. Pedro brings me joy.
I have to admit that I am confused about those “shaper” undergarments that are supposed to consolidate all of the fat around your middle so you can fit better into your clothes. Where does the fat go? It is still on your body but constricted in a way that probably inhibits the functionality of your working organs. But you look good, right, and what’s better than that?
As a few of my old high school friends and I strolled through our hometown, Somerville, recently, we looked at the storefronts and tried to recall what businesses used to be in those spaces. The old record store, a kid’s clothing store, a shoe store and the former Candy Kitchen are all long gone, as is the drug store where we stopped before going to the movies at the Cort Theater -- which is also gone. In their places are new kinds of businesses, including a place that provides eyelash and brow services, a barre studio, several ice cream places, bars and lots of restaurants with outdoor seating. There are fitness places and nail and hair salons, a spa and a dollar store (the closest thing we had to that was Woolworth’s 5 and Dime, but everything was cheaper then). The only place that had the right feel was an antique store, because it carried lots of the items we had in our own homes, like a meat grinder, an eggbeater (no food processors for us!), kids’ games and old telephones. Who knew that all of our junk would one day be popular and valuable?
Is there anything more annoying than when your socks slip down into your shoe? Will than happen with my new “No-Show” socks? There is much less to slip!
I didn’t have much food in the house the other day, so I just had a sandwich for lunch. OK, it was an ice cream sandwich, but it was a sandwich…
I must confess that I am a bit skeptical when I read detailed memoirs. How can the authors recall the date, time and specifics from incidents that happened years ago (unless they took copious notes even as children)? I can’t remember what I ate for lunch. Oh, right, it was an ice cream sandwich.
In case you missed it, Heinz, the brand long associated with ketchup, now has introduced mustard. My first thought was, “What took you so long?” After all, Heinz has been selling ketchup forever; ketchup is used on hamburgers; hamburgers are often served with hotdogs; mustard goes on hotdogs. Follow the logic? I wonder whether Heinz will become the "gold" standard of mustard. And Heinz also has launched the Heinz version of “Real Mayonnaise.” Look out, Hellman’s! Heinz is coming for you, too.
I never know whether I wake up at 4 am because I have to go to the bathroom or if I go to the bathroom at 4 am because I’m up.
I’m having a good hair day, but the only person who would know that besides me is the cashier at Costco. She didn’t mention it.
I think the resemblance between chocolate chips (a very good thing) and raisins (dried up grapes) is unfair in things like cookies, muffins and scones. I’m always disappointed when what I think is a chocolate chip cookie turns out to be oatmeal raisin.
We are already living in a self-centered world, and increasingly our world is becoming more about self-service. I just found out that the two branches of Chase Bank near me will no longer offer teller services. You can use the ATM (which is the original self-service part of the bank), but you can’t cash a check, break a hundred-dollar bill or even grab a lollipop, I guess. You can start a new account, but I’m not sure how to handle my existing one without any help on hand. I already pay most of my bills online, which is about as self-sufficient as I care to be. What happens when I need to cash a check? I guess I will be forced to download yet another self-service app and take a picture of the check to deposit it electronically. This move means that I have to do more, and the people employed by the bank will be cashing unemployment checks. Just not at that branch.
Whatever happened to paper bags? The push is on to ban all plastic bags in the grocery store, and I often bring my own bags to transport my haul home, but I need paper to hold my recycling of magazines, junk mail, etc. When I find them available at the register, I notice that they are thin to the point of being flimsy, and they are barely tall enough to hold a box of Special K. How am I supposed to recycle the paper stuff without a paper bag?
The word “extraordinary” SHOULD mean really ordinary, not better than ordinary. That meaning should be UNORDINARY.
I am a victim of stalking - by a big, fat fly! For three 3 days, this persistent pest followed me around the house like a house pet -- unless, of course, there is a battalion of flies waiting in each room to buzz past my ear while I swat at them futilely! I got plenty of suggestions on how to handle this situation, from getting a cat (never going to happen) to spraying him with either starch (who keeps spray starch around anymore? I could maybe hurl a potato in his direction, but he was so fast and elusive…), hairspray or Windex (this from a friend of Greek origin, and if you know the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” you know the family patriarch used Windex to solve all of life’s problems). Finally, tuckered out from all that buzzing around and presumably thinking that I had left the house, he settled on the kitchen table, where I was able to sneak up behind him and end it all with my trusty fly swatter. I need a nap.
I am patting myself on the back for fixing the igniter on my Weber grill. I couldn’t even find the paperwork for the grill to order a new one, but I found a video on YouTube that did the trick. All it needed was a new battery. Who knew that an igniter HAD a battery? Throw the shrimp on the barbie!
It’s a good thing that no one can see or read the content in the bubble over my head when I am listening to someone drone on about something of no interest to me.
I saw a cartoon showing a CVS receipt getting stuck in multiple trees. I could do a month’s worth of shopping in Costco and the receipt would be a fraction of the length of one from CVS.
I think we all go to the supermarket for just one or two things and walk out with two bags and at least $40 poorer. And if you go to Costco, just hand them $100 as you walk in, because that’s what it will cost you when you try to leave the building. Or more. Once I went there to buy a rotisserie chicken and came out with a new set of cordless phones. All told, it cost me about $100. I still have and use the phones, and the chicken was delicious.
You know you’re getting old when you have more ice packs in your freezer than actual food.
I can’t believe I am still watching “Survivor!” But it takes me until the last two episodes to finally learn the names of the contestants.
When you are in a book club, you read books you otherwise might not have read, some of which you love, and some of which you may dislike. I was trying to force myself to read one recently that I really didn’t like and finally gave up. I figured that champion home organizer Marie Kondo would say I should stop reading because the book did not bring me joy.
I can tell when my friends have been busy all day because suddenly there will be an influx of “LIKES” on my Facebook page.
After about eight years of wearing the same glasses, it is time for a new prescription and new frames. But picking out new frames is daunting, especially if, like me, you wear glasses every day. I wouldn’t want to wear contacts or have surgery and not need glasses, since they are so much a part of me and my identity. I just don’t know yet what I want or how I look. This is a high stakes venture. Thank goodness I have a friend standing by to provide objective advice on which frames to choose.
Spring means it is time to plant flowers, but between physical ailments (back and shoulder) and general laziness, I could not do this chore on my own. One of my avid gardener friends says digging in the dirt brings her joy. I hate digging in the dirt, so instead, my landscape guy, Pedro, takes care of it for me. Pedro brings me joy.
I have to admit that I am confused about those “shaper” undergarments that are supposed to consolidate all of the fat around your middle so you can fit better into your clothes. Where does the fat go? It is still on your body but constricted in a way that probably inhibits the functionality of your working organs. But you look good, right, and what’s better than that?
As a few of my old high school friends and I strolled through our hometown, Somerville, recently, we looked at the storefronts and tried to recall what businesses used to be in those spaces. The old record store, a kid’s clothing store, a shoe store and the former Candy Kitchen are all long gone, as is the drug store where we stopped before going to the movies at the Cort Theater -- which is also gone. In their places are new kinds of businesses, including a place that provides eyelash and brow services, a barre studio, several ice cream places, bars and lots of restaurants with outdoor seating. There are fitness places and nail and hair salons, a spa and a dollar store (the closest thing we had to that was Woolworth’s 5 and Dime, but everything was cheaper then). The only place that had the right feel was an antique store, because it carried lots of the items we had in our own homes, like a meat grinder, an eggbeater (no food processors for us!), kids’ games and old telephones. Who knew that all of our junk would one day be popular and valuable?
Is there anything more annoying than when your socks slip down into your shoe? Will than happen with my new “No-Show” socks? There is much less to slip!
Saturday, June 1, 2019
Tina's May 2019 Movies
I'm branching out to include mini-series since there have been some good ones on recently. And besides, if I watch something for 4 or more hours that I might want to recommend, why not share it? If you have been here before, you know the deal: Movies are rated 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being at the top. Movies (or shows) I had not seen previously are marked with an asterisk* and numbering picks up from previous months.
58. Ask Dr. Ruth* (2019) – Who knew there was a whole genre of movies about powerful but diminutive Jewish women named Ruth who became icons in their professions? Last year was the year of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. This year brings us a documentary about renowned sex therapist, talk show guest, radio and TV host and lecturer Dr. Ruth Westheimer, best known for her frank, no-nonsense view of sex. This tiny powerhouse is relentlessly cherry and constantly on the move, even at the age of 90. The movie reveals that as a 10-year old living in Germany she was sent to Switzerland to avoid the impending Holocaust, with memories that she recounts with no tears or rancor. I was really impressed with Dr. Ruth as a woman, a researcher, a therapist and, for some time, as a single mother. I wish I had just a fraction of her energy and optimism. 4 cans.
59. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile* (2019) – That description of executed serial killer Ted Bundy by the judge who presided over his last cases seems particularly apt. Bundy (Zac Efron), an attractive, intelligent sociopath who killed a succession of women in multiple states, acted as his own attorney, protesting his innocence and denigrating the authorities who had plenty of evidence against him. It is safe to say most people in the late 70s know the story. What I didn’t know is that Bundy had a girlfriend (Lilly Collins) who was a single mother. Even she had her doubts about Bundy early on; the coincidences of the murders and his travels, his car and his description were enough to make her call the police. But love is blind, right? And she couldn’t be sure. Bundy was more than a charming scamp. While this movie (thankfully) omits footage of the victims and what he did to them, the courtroom descriptions are quite enough. He was a killer who acted alone with violence and complete disregard for human life. The movie was well done, but aside from the girlfriend revelation and the fact that he marries an old friend while in jail because his girlfriend refuses to take his calls, there is nothing new here. 3½ cans.
60. The Mayo Clinic, Faith, Hope and Science* (2018) – This Ken Burns documentary tells the story of the founding the remarkable Mayo Clinic 150 years ago by W.W. Mayo and how this “Medical Mecca” has saved the lives of thousands of patients. The respected institution is known not only for its outstanding diagnostic work but also for its medical research and the development of new procedures, treatments and devices that keep patient care in the forefront. If you have any interest in medicine, take two hours and watch it on Netflix (or PBS, where it originally aired). 4 cans.
61. At the Heart of Gold: The USA Gymnastics Scandal* (2019) – You would have to have been living under a rock not to know about the sexual abuse scandal involving Dr. Larry Nasser, team physician of the US Women’s Gymnastics Team. Nassar used his access to the young women (some not even teenagers yet) to “treat” their athletic injuries in what could at best be called an unconventional way. His constant talking to them, taking an interest in aspects of their lives not normally shared between doctor and patient should have set off alerts that he was grooming these young ladies. This HBO documentary covers their so-called treatments in about as much detail as I could take. The crime here is not just Nasser’s; the USA gymnastics officials and administrators at Michigan State University are equally complicit for ignoring the complaints by those girls brave enough to raise them and for not enforcing the rules they devised to prevent similar incidents. This is a tawdry story with a real message – listen to kids (and people in general) who tell you something is wrong, because it probably is. Even if they cannot define it or understand it, such incidents must be pursued. Hundreds of young women suffered as a result of the inaction of the adults who should have known better. 3 cans.
62. Big Little Lies* (2018) – This HBO series seemed to me to be an updated version of “Desperate Housewives,” complete with rape, murder, infidelity and domestic violence, all amid a “Lifestyles of the Rich and Overbearing” setting in Northern California. It includes the talents of actresses and producers such as Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley and a host of nearly interchangeable men who are far less important as ther on-screen husbands, exes and partners. Almost everyone lives in a beautiful house, with stunning views, adorable children and secrets galore. And don’t cross some of these women or they will get you. The series debuted last year, based on a popular book by Lianne Moriarity that I had not read (which everyone, of course, insists is better than the series) and as we work our way through the trials and tribulations of the protagonists, we can count on upcoming season 2 to present more of the same. I had heard such great things about it that I felt I should watch it, and maybe I will succumb to the temptation of seeing Meryl Streep come to Monterey in the upcoming season 2, but overall, I found it just a little too pretty and superficial (despite the secrets and twists) to heartily endorse. 3 cans.
63. Perfect Bid* (2018) – There are fans and there are fanatics, and in this Netflix documentary, Ted Slauson falls into the latter category. Ted not only watches the game show “The Price is Right” faithfully (starting as a kid), he charts the price of every item featured on the show, compiling a huge databank of information that he memorized. It took Ted a couple of dozen visits to the show before he was selected to compete, but in the meantime, he gladly shared his knowledge with other contestants by calling out the prices. They could accept or ignore his answers, but those lucky folks who took advantage of his vast knowledge went home with plenty of merchandise. Ted could best be described as a nerd, a guy who can recall the price pf every item he tracked watching the show. After an absence of 10 years, Ted returned and managed to be in on a controversy about whether the show was fixed (it was not). There are worse hobbies to have, I suppose, and I DID watch this (don’t ask me why; I haven’t watched “The Price is Right” in decades), but I really wanted to tell Ted to get a life. 2 cans.
64. Shawshank Redemption (1994) – I’m not reviewing this movie, which is one of my all-time favorites, but rather extolling the virtues of seeing it for the first time in a movie theater. In case you think that size doesn’t matter, you’re wrong! Also, relishing the richness and emotional experience of this movie without the distraction of checking my cellphone, commercial interruptions or other disruptions made it that much more special. It was playing in the local theater as part of a monthly series of classics shown on the big screen. I will be glad to see other movies I may have missed in the way in which they were intended to be viewed. And this one is a winner in any format. 5 cans.
65. Easy A* (2010) – Emma Stone shines in this modern-day version of “The Scarlet Letter.” Stone plays Olive, a smart, quick-witted high school student who is nagged by her best friend to reveal that she lost her virginity, even though it never happened. The admission backfires when Olive’s “secret” gets out and she is labeled as Hester Prynne from the classic story. She plays along and exploits her image reversal for a while, until she sees that people are making nasty judgments about her that started with her little white lie. Social acceptance and the meanness of high school kids is on full display here, and Stone provides plenty of sass along with vulnerability. 3 cans.
66. Les Miserables* (2019) – By now, we all know the story of Frenchman Jean Valjean, the good-hearted but desperate man who is imprisoned for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread. He is a man of immense strength, both physically and emotionally, and once he is out of jail, he turns his life around. But he cannot escape the relentless Inspector Jauvert, whose life’s work is to see Valjean in prison once again. This 6-part, non-musical version of the classic Victor Hugo tale was presented on PBS, and it measures up or surpasses the previous versions – all of which I think I have seen. Dominic West gives a powerful performance as Valjean, with David Oyelowo as the relentless Inspector Javert and Lily Collins as the luckless single mother Fantine, whose problems are caused by Valjean, who feels responsible for her demise. This is an excellent production of the familiar tale and I enjoyed every bit of it. 4½ cans.
67. The Confirmation* (2019) – Clive Owen plays Walt, a down-on-his-luck carpenter and divorced dad of 8-year old Anthony (Jaeden Lieberher). When Anthony’s mother and stepfather (Maria Bello and Matthew Modine) leave town for a weekend, they reluctantly leave Walt in charge. Anthony has been studying for his confirmation and is wrestling with ethical and moral questions when he enters the confessional because he’s too young to recognize things that might be considered sins. By the end of the weekend, he has much more familiarity with lying, stealing and other non-biblical issues, like pointing a gun. Walt leaves Anthony in charge of his truck when he stops at a bar, and when Anthony abandons his post, Walt’s tools are stolen. The movie then becomes a father-son buddy movie, as the pair go to great lengths to find the thief and get back the tools Walt needs to get a job and make some money. The irresponsible father and the maturing boy make good and bad decisions and build a relationship they previously did not have. 3 cans.
68. Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) – Jennifer Jones plays the title character, a taciturn schoolteacher who we can disparagingly call an “old maid.” She is devoted to her students and her craft, as we see through a series of flashbacks that show her transition from an active young woman to one who is forced into a life of work that was unplanned. She is tough on the students, who dread having her as a teacher but, who, deep down, develop a true respect and love for her. Along the way, her students become police officers, doctors and mothers. I remember first seeing this movie when I was a teenager and admiring Miss Dove’s devotion, but I have to admit that now it seems so corny and outdated. Still, there is always room for movies about characters who behave with honor as they try to elevate the standards of those around them. 2½ cans.
69. Taking Chance (2009) – Kevin Bacon is Marine Colonel Michael Strobl, an officer who volunteers to escort the body of young Marine Chance Phelps to his final resting place after his death in combat. All along the way, each person involved in handling the young man’s body – whether cleaning his personal effects, draping the flag on the coffin, transporting the box onto and off of an airplane – pays the utmost respect to the fallen Marine, and Colonel Strobl accompanies the body with dignity and honor. This movie is based on a true story and it is a moving account that reminds us – especially watching it on Memorial Day – of the sacrifices of the people who have served our country. 4 cans and some tissues, please.
70. Fosse/Verdon* (2019) – Bob Fosse was a legendary Broadway choreographer and director, responsible for such shows and movies as “Damn Yankees,” “Sweet Charity,” “Chicago” and “Cabaret.” His wife, dancer/actress Gwen Verdon, starred in most of them. The Fosse depicted here (Sam Rockwell) is best described as a self-centered prick, a conniving, non-trustworthy man who cheats on his wife, is addicted to booze, drugs and sex, and is generally a supremely talented but impossible person to love. Verdon (Michelle Williams) is sweetness and light but with a hard edge, always worried about her career but with a huge soft spot for Fosse. I was never a fan of Fosse’s unique style of choreography, but I understand how his interpretation of a story through dance was so successful. This drama delivers lots of punch, and the performances by the leads are exceptional. Watching this series was worth every minute of the 8 parts. 4 cans.
71. The Kids Are Alright (2010) – The kids may be alright, but the adults have plenty of issues. Nic and Jules (Annette Benning and Julianne Moore) have been together for a long time despite very visible differences between them. Nic is an uptight doctor and Jules is a free spirit who tries on careers like pairs of shoes. They have raised two kids, each of them carrying a baby conceived through a sperm donor. When the kids get curious about their biological father, they quickly and easily locate him. Paul (Mark Ruffalo) is just a big kid himself, laid back and unassuming and perfectly happy to enter into this new family situation. Not only is he comfortable with the kids, but it isn’t long before he and Jules get involved. Will the new dad break up this nuclear family? Will Jules go straight? This is a good look at decisions, behavior and consequences. 3½ cans.
72. St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) – The Brat Pack shines in this movie about post-Breakfast Club kids (with several of the OG cast members – Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez and Judd Nelson) who are now done with college and embarking on careers. In your 20s, life is all about hopes and dreams, fear and failure, and, most of all here, friends. This group of 7 were all college friends, all involved intimately in each other’s lives. Andrew McCarthy is in love with Ally Sheedy, who lives with young Republican Judd Nelson. Estevez is in love with a doctor, Andie McDowell, who is way over his pay grade. Mare Winningham is the dowdy girl in love with impossible handsome bad boy Rob Lowe, and Demi Moore is alternatively in love with and hates herself. They are self-centered yet supportive – most of the time. They drink too much, party too much and have intense relationships as they struggle to find their places in the adult world. I can’t believe this movie is nearly 35 years old. I still enjoyed watching it. 3½ cans.
58. Ask Dr. Ruth* (2019) – Who knew there was a whole genre of movies about powerful but diminutive Jewish women named Ruth who became icons in their professions? Last year was the year of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. This year brings us a documentary about renowned sex therapist, talk show guest, radio and TV host and lecturer Dr. Ruth Westheimer, best known for her frank, no-nonsense view of sex. This tiny powerhouse is relentlessly cherry and constantly on the move, even at the age of 90. The movie reveals that as a 10-year old living in Germany she was sent to Switzerland to avoid the impending Holocaust, with memories that she recounts with no tears or rancor. I was really impressed with Dr. Ruth as a woman, a researcher, a therapist and, for some time, as a single mother. I wish I had just a fraction of her energy and optimism. 4 cans.
59. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile* (2019) – That description of executed serial killer Ted Bundy by the judge who presided over his last cases seems particularly apt. Bundy (Zac Efron), an attractive, intelligent sociopath who killed a succession of women in multiple states, acted as his own attorney, protesting his innocence and denigrating the authorities who had plenty of evidence against him. It is safe to say most people in the late 70s know the story. What I didn’t know is that Bundy had a girlfriend (Lilly Collins) who was a single mother. Even she had her doubts about Bundy early on; the coincidences of the murders and his travels, his car and his description were enough to make her call the police. But love is blind, right? And she couldn’t be sure. Bundy was more than a charming scamp. While this movie (thankfully) omits footage of the victims and what he did to them, the courtroom descriptions are quite enough. He was a killer who acted alone with violence and complete disregard for human life. The movie was well done, but aside from the girlfriend revelation and the fact that he marries an old friend while in jail because his girlfriend refuses to take his calls, there is nothing new here. 3½ cans.
60. The Mayo Clinic, Faith, Hope and Science* (2018) – This Ken Burns documentary tells the story of the founding the remarkable Mayo Clinic 150 years ago by W.W. Mayo and how this “Medical Mecca” has saved the lives of thousands of patients. The respected institution is known not only for its outstanding diagnostic work but also for its medical research and the development of new procedures, treatments and devices that keep patient care in the forefront. If you have any interest in medicine, take two hours and watch it on Netflix (or PBS, where it originally aired). 4 cans.
61. At the Heart of Gold: The USA Gymnastics Scandal* (2019) – You would have to have been living under a rock not to know about the sexual abuse scandal involving Dr. Larry Nasser, team physician of the US Women’s Gymnastics Team. Nassar used his access to the young women (some not even teenagers yet) to “treat” their athletic injuries in what could at best be called an unconventional way. His constant talking to them, taking an interest in aspects of their lives not normally shared between doctor and patient should have set off alerts that he was grooming these young ladies. This HBO documentary covers their so-called treatments in about as much detail as I could take. The crime here is not just Nasser’s; the USA gymnastics officials and administrators at Michigan State University are equally complicit for ignoring the complaints by those girls brave enough to raise them and for not enforcing the rules they devised to prevent similar incidents. This is a tawdry story with a real message – listen to kids (and people in general) who tell you something is wrong, because it probably is. Even if they cannot define it or understand it, such incidents must be pursued. Hundreds of young women suffered as a result of the inaction of the adults who should have known better. 3 cans.
62. Big Little Lies* (2018) – This HBO series seemed to me to be an updated version of “Desperate Housewives,” complete with rape, murder, infidelity and domestic violence, all amid a “Lifestyles of the Rich and Overbearing” setting in Northern California. It includes the talents of actresses and producers such as Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley and a host of nearly interchangeable men who are far less important as ther on-screen husbands, exes and partners. Almost everyone lives in a beautiful house, with stunning views, adorable children and secrets galore. And don’t cross some of these women or they will get you. The series debuted last year, based on a popular book by Lianne Moriarity that I had not read (which everyone, of course, insists is better than the series) and as we work our way through the trials and tribulations of the protagonists, we can count on upcoming season 2 to present more of the same. I had heard such great things about it that I felt I should watch it, and maybe I will succumb to the temptation of seeing Meryl Streep come to Monterey in the upcoming season 2, but overall, I found it just a little too pretty and superficial (despite the secrets and twists) to heartily endorse. 3 cans.
63. Perfect Bid* (2018) – There are fans and there are fanatics, and in this Netflix documentary, Ted Slauson falls into the latter category. Ted not only watches the game show “The Price is Right” faithfully (starting as a kid), he charts the price of every item featured on the show, compiling a huge databank of information that he memorized. It took Ted a couple of dozen visits to the show before he was selected to compete, but in the meantime, he gladly shared his knowledge with other contestants by calling out the prices. They could accept or ignore his answers, but those lucky folks who took advantage of his vast knowledge went home with plenty of merchandise. Ted could best be described as a nerd, a guy who can recall the price pf every item he tracked watching the show. After an absence of 10 years, Ted returned and managed to be in on a controversy about whether the show was fixed (it was not). There are worse hobbies to have, I suppose, and I DID watch this (don’t ask me why; I haven’t watched “The Price is Right” in decades), but I really wanted to tell Ted to get a life. 2 cans.
64. Shawshank Redemption (1994) – I’m not reviewing this movie, which is one of my all-time favorites, but rather extolling the virtues of seeing it for the first time in a movie theater. In case you think that size doesn’t matter, you’re wrong! Also, relishing the richness and emotional experience of this movie without the distraction of checking my cellphone, commercial interruptions or other disruptions made it that much more special. It was playing in the local theater as part of a monthly series of classics shown on the big screen. I will be glad to see other movies I may have missed in the way in which they were intended to be viewed. And this one is a winner in any format. 5 cans.
65. Easy A* (2010) – Emma Stone shines in this modern-day version of “The Scarlet Letter.” Stone plays Olive, a smart, quick-witted high school student who is nagged by her best friend to reveal that she lost her virginity, even though it never happened. The admission backfires when Olive’s “secret” gets out and she is labeled as Hester Prynne from the classic story. She plays along and exploits her image reversal for a while, until she sees that people are making nasty judgments about her that started with her little white lie. Social acceptance and the meanness of high school kids is on full display here, and Stone provides plenty of sass along with vulnerability. 3 cans.
66. Les Miserables* (2019) – By now, we all know the story of Frenchman Jean Valjean, the good-hearted but desperate man who is imprisoned for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread. He is a man of immense strength, both physically and emotionally, and once he is out of jail, he turns his life around. But he cannot escape the relentless Inspector Jauvert, whose life’s work is to see Valjean in prison once again. This 6-part, non-musical version of the classic Victor Hugo tale was presented on PBS, and it measures up or surpasses the previous versions – all of which I think I have seen. Dominic West gives a powerful performance as Valjean, with David Oyelowo as the relentless Inspector Javert and Lily Collins as the luckless single mother Fantine, whose problems are caused by Valjean, who feels responsible for her demise. This is an excellent production of the familiar tale and I enjoyed every bit of it. 4½ cans.
67. The Confirmation* (2019) – Clive Owen plays Walt, a down-on-his-luck carpenter and divorced dad of 8-year old Anthony (Jaeden Lieberher). When Anthony’s mother and stepfather (Maria Bello and Matthew Modine) leave town for a weekend, they reluctantly leave Walt in charge. Anthony has been studying for his confirmation and is wrestling with ethical and moral questions when he enters the confessional because he’s too young to recognize things that might be considered sins. By the end of the weekend, he has much more familiarity with lying, stealing and other non-biblical issues, like pointing a gun. Walt leaves Anthony in charge of his truck when he stops at a bar, and when Anthony abandons his post, Walt’s tools are stolen. The movie then becomes a father-son buddy movie, as the pair go to great lengths to find the thief and get back the tools Walt needs to get a job and make some money. The irresponsible father and the maturing boy make good and bad decisions and build a relationship they previously did not have. 3 cans.
68. Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) – Jennifer Jones plays the title character, a taciturn schoolteacher who we can disparagingly call an “old maid.” She is devoted to her students and her craft, as we see through a series of flashbacks that show her transition from an active young woman to one who is forced into a life of work that was unplanned. She is tough on the students, who dread having her as a teacher but, who, deep down, develop a true respect and love for her. Along the way, her students become police officers, doctors and mothers. I remember first seeing this movie when I was a teenager and admiring Miss Dove’s devotion, but I have to admit that now it seems so corny and outdated. Still, there is always room for movies about characters who behave with honor as they try to elevate the standards of those around them. 2½ cans.
69. Taking Chance (2009) – Kevin Bacon is Marine Colonel Michael Strobl, an officer who volunteers to escort the body of young Marine Chance Phelps to his final resting place after his death in combat. All along the way, each person involved in handling the young man’s body – whether cleaning his personal effects, draping the flag on the coffin, transporting the box onto and off of an airplane – pays the utmost respect to the fallen Marine, and Colonel Strobl accompanies the body with dignity and honor. This movie is based on a true story and it is a moving account that reminds us – especially watching it on Memorial Day – of the sacrifices of the people who have served our country. 4 cans and some tissues, please.
70. Fosse/Verdon* (2019) – Bob Fosse was a legendary Broadway choreographer and director, responsible for such shows and movies as “Damn Yankees,” “Sweet Charity,” “Chicago” and “Cabaret.” His wife, dancer/actress Gwen Verdon, starred in most of them. The Fosse depicted here (Sam Rockwell) is best described as a self-centered prick, a conniving, non-trustworthy man who cheats on his wife, is addicted to booze, drugs and sex, and is generally a supremely talented but impossible person to love. Verdon (Michelle Williams) is sweetness and light but with a hard edge, always worried about her career but with a huge soft spot for Fosse. I was never a fan of Fosse’s unique style of choreography, but I understand how his interpretation of a story through dance was so successful. This drama delivers lots of punch, and the performances by the leads are exceptional. Watching this series was worth every minute of the 8 parts. 4 cans.
71. The Kids Are Alright (2010) – The kids may be alright, but the adults have plenty of issues. Nic and Jules (Annette Benning and Julianne Moore) have been together for a long time despite very visible differences between them. Nic is an uptight doctor and Jules is a free spirit who tries on careers like pairs of shoes. They have raised two kids, each of them carrying a baby conceived through a sperm donor. When the kids get curious about their biological father, they quickly and easily locate him. Paul (Mark Ruffalo) is just a big kid himself, laid back and unassuming and perfectly happy to enter into this new family situation. Not only is he comfortable with the kids, but it isn’t long before he and Jules get involved. Will the new dad break up this nuclear family? Will Jules go straight? This is a good look at decisions, behavior and consequences. 3½ cans.
72. St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) – The Brat Pack shines in this movie about post-Breakfast Club kids (with several of the OG cast members – Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez and Judd Nelson) who are now done with college and embarking on careers. In your 20s, life is all about hopes and dreams, fear and failure, and, most of all here, friends. This group of 7 were all college friends, all involved intimately in each other’s lives. Andrew McCarthy is in love with Ally Sheedy, who lives with young Republican Judd Nelson. Estevez is in love with a doctor, Andie McDowell, who is way over his pay grade. Mare Winningham is the dowdy girl in love with impossible handsome bad boy Rob Lowe, and Demi Moore is alternatively in love with and hates herself. They are self-centered yet supportive – most of the time. They drink too much, party too much and have intense relationships as they struggle to find their places in the adult world. I can’t believe this movie is nearly 35 years old. I still enjoyed watching it. 3½ cans.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
May Day
I just caught a few minutes of a TV talk show starring Martha Stewart and Snoop Dog and I am pretty sure I died and moved on to an alternate universe, because this CANNOT be real. It looks like a sketch from Saturday Night Live!
Why is an open-faced grilled cheese sandwich called the “Happy Waitress Special” in every diner in America? I have never seen a waitress celebrate that order.
For those of you wondering, Ice Cream Season has started here in the Gordon House, although with the cold weather we have been having, it is not a daily event.
Even though she didn’t know the answer to my question (Alexa, why do bananas have strings?), I think Alexa was happy to start off her workday with a question about something other than the weather report or my schedule.
Despite all of the advances in medical technology, when you go to the eye doctor, they still hand you that old wooden spoon-like device (now made of plastic) to cover one eye at a time while you attempt to read the chart.
I always get a little anxious on that part of my eye exam when the doctor puts the big machine in front of me (you know, the one that has been used for decades), sets the numbers and asks me which one is better, number 1 or number 2. Is there a right or wrong answer? Can I try again? Maybe #2 does seems clearer, but was that supposed to be the case? Are my answers making any sense?
There should be training for people in supermarket conduct. For example, don’t leave your cart in the middle of the aisle as you complete your search for canned peaches. Chance are, it is in the way of someone else. And don’t stick it in the middle of the aisle with your hand on it while you grab something, because that blocks the aisle, too. And please don’t leave your purse in the top of the cart while you do any of these things or you are just asking to have it stolen. Don’t go to the checkout line that is meant for 10 and under if you have 20 items. Once you are on the line, don’t go running through the store to get that one thing (or more) that you forgot and leave the rest of us waiting for your return. Get your coupons out and ready for the cashier. If you are doing your own check-out (which I HATE to do), make sure you know what you are doing (I often need help, which is one of the reasons I try to avoid it!). Know the name of the apples you are buying so you can look them up correctly. Once you leave the store, if you can, put your cart in the designated cart collection areas and don’t leave it there to roll into someone else’s car in the parking lot (which happened to me just last week; no damage). And please, stop standing in the produce or frozen food aisles wearing the shortest of shorts and a tank top. That outfit is meant for Walmart, not ShopRite!
The May challenge from my photography club is to take a picture showing something decrepit, in disrepair or falling apart. When I mentioned in my physical therapy session that I had my camera with me, ready to take pictures, three people wanted to know if I would be taking pictures of them! Relax, folks, it is THINGS in disrepair, not those of you whose knees and hips are ready to collapse.
I don’t understand (or appreciate) women’s public restrooms that lack hooks to hang my handbag. What are you supposed to do with your purse when you are using the facilities? I don’t want to put my bag on the germy, disgusting floor. I actually have hung my bag around my neck to avoid having it hit the floor. Get some damn Command hooks, people. Let’s solve this problem!
While we are on the subject of restrooms, why do we call them restrooms? Does anyone go in there to take a rest? Where’s the couch? And do you really want to linger in a room where people are taking care of business? Yeah, I don’t think so.
And finally, when you are done washing your hands – with soap, if you can get some to eke out of the dispenser – you have to dry your hands. That could go one of two ways. You either have to do the Hokey Pokey under the paper towel dispenser to coax some out, or you have to put your hands under a blower that feels so powerful that you wonder if your skin will be blown off. And then you don’t want to touch the door with your clean hands, because not everyone is like YOU and sometimes they don’t wash their hands and God knows what germs are on the door handle, so you open it with the paper towel that finally came out of the towel holder and then you don’t know what to do with your used towel because not you have left the restroom and you are not nearly rested. Oh, I’m on a roll now, huh?
You know, there’s this whole dress code that we enforce on ourselves – no white in winter, no sandals until spring, etc. Remember when the biggest scandal in the Obama presidency was that he wore a tan suit (oh, those were the good old days…)? I have found that it is acceptable to wear a t-shirt (the non-logo or funny saying type) as long as you throw on a necklace to dress it up. I’d like to thank Tina Turner (for so many things) for strutting down the street wearing a black dress, killer heels (those legs!) and a denim jacket in the video for “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” She made jeans jackets wearable for practically any occasion two decades ago!
I always run out of hotdogs before I run out of rolls (probably because the hotdogs come in a package of 7 and the rolls come in a package of 8). Or I have to buy rolls to replace the leftover rolls I used and then have too many rolls because the dogs are gone. Is this what they mean when they say we need balance in our lives?
I like ordering things on line and then being surprised when the package arrives because I can’t remember what I ordered.
Maybe I was a bit late in jumping on board the James Holzhauer “Jeopardy” train, but I am no less intrigued by this incredibly intelligent, quick and competitive player than everyone else. His brilliant strategy for selecting the highest paying clue in each category and then working his way up the board is an innovative approach that now makes me wonder why no one else thought of it before he did. He amasses so much money by betting heavily in the Daily Doubles – and he bets very strange amounts – that by Final Jeopardy, it is almost impossible to beat him. I find this fascinating television, but I don’t get the outrage that he is “ruining the game.” There have been opinion pieces in such venerable publication as The Washington Post decrying his domination. People, the despot in charge in Washington is ruining the country and some of you are concerned about ruining a GAME SHOW? It is a GAME, it has lasted for 35+ years, and civilization will not be ruined if it were to go off the air. Turn your worries to things that are really worth protesting and let James rule!
The highlight of my day was finding my expensive eye vitamins on sale at ShopRite AND having a $5 coupon with me. I saved $12. I feel triumphant!
One of my latest favorite things is one of those stamp devices used to roll over and obliterate my address on junk mail, catalogs, envelopes, etc. The stamper says CONFIDENTIAL, and I roll over the address twice with it, upside down, so good luck to anyone trying to discern the actual address. The use of this simple device saves me from having to shred bills and other material before I recycle them. Mine was a gift, but I advise buying one to stay safe and anonymous – as much as possible.
For what it is worth, I vow to NEVER wear a jumpsuit. I don’t need to disrobe in a public bathroom every time I need to relieve myself. Thanks, but no. (Unless I get a jail sentence and am forced to don the OITNB jumpsuits.)
I have this annoying habit (among others) where I type a word that begins with a capital letter and accidentally capitalize the next letter, too. Such as APril 2019. I also make the same typos consistently, mistyping Chciago, buisness and other words. I think I have finger dyslexia (don’t worry, I made it up and you can’t catch it).
I have a box of toothpicks in the cabinet that spilled while I was taking them out. I threw away a bunch, but, since there are 750 in the box, it appears my lifetime supply of these ridiculously thin and breakable toothpicks will not be affected. I’m adding a new box to my shopping list in hopes of finding a smaller package with better quality toothpicks. Who says my life isn’t exciting?
Considering what a huge sports fan I am, it is amazing how little I know – or care – about hockey.
Why is an open-faced grilled cheese sandwich called the “Happy Waitress Special” in every diner in America? I have never seen a waitress celebrate that order.
For those of you wondering, Ice Cream Season has started here in the Gordon House, although with the cold weather we have been having, it is not a daily event.
Even though she didn’t know the answer to my question (Alexa, why do bananas have strings?), I think Alexa was happy to start off her workday with a question about something other than the weather report or my schedule.
Despite all of the advances in medical technology, when you go to the eye doctor, they still hand you that old wooden spoon-like device (now made of plastic) to cover one eye at a time while you attempt to read the chart.
I always get a little anxious on that part of my eye exam when the doctor puts the big machine in front of me (you know, the one that has been used for decades), sets the numbers and asks me which one is better, number 1 or number 2. Is there a right or wrong answer? Can I try again? Maybe #2 does seems clearer, but was that supposed to be the case? Are my answers making any sense?
There should be training for people in supermarket conduct. For example, don’t leave your cart in the middle of the aisle as you complete your search for canned peaches. Chance are, it is in the way of someone else. And don’t stick it in the middle of the aisle with your hand on it while you grab something, because that blocks the aisle, too. And please don’t leave your purse in the top of the cart while you do any of these things or you are just asking to have it stolen. Don’t go to the checkout line that is meant for 10 and under if you have 20 items. Once you are on the line, don’t go running through the store to get that one thing (or more) that you forgot and leave the rest of us waiting for your return. Get your coupons out and ready for the cashier. If you are doing your own check-out (which I HATE to do), make sure you know what you are doing (I often need help, which is one of the reasons I try to avoid it!). Know the name of the apples you are buying so you can look them up correctly. Once you leave the store, if you can, put your cart in the designated cart collection areas and don’t leave it there to roll into someone else’s car in the parking lot (which happened to me just last week; no damage). And please, stop standing in the produce or frozen food aisles wearing the shortest of shorts and a tank top. That outfit is meant for Walmart, not ShopRite!
The May challenge from my photography club is to take a picture showing something decrepit, in disrepair or falling apart. When I mentioned in my physical therapy session that I had my camera with me, ready to take pictures, three people wanted to know if I would be taking pictures of them! Relax, folks, it is THINGS in disrepair, not those of you whose knees and hips are ready to collapse.
I don’t understand (or appreciate) women’s public restrooms that lack hooks to hang my handbag. What are you supposed to do with your purse when you are using the facilities? I don’t want to put my bag on the germy, disgusting floor. I actually have hung my bag around my neck to avoid having it hit the floor. Get some damn Command hooks, people. Let’s solve this problem!
While we are on the subject of restrooms, why do we call them restrooms? Does anyone go in there to take a rest? Where’s the couch? And do you really want to linger in a room where people are taking care of business? Yeah, I don’t think so.
And finally, when you are done washing your hands – with soap, if you can get some to eke out of the dispenser – you have to dry your hands. That could go one of two ways. You either have to do the Hokey Pokey under the paper towel dispenser to coax some out, or you have to put your hands under a blower that feels so powerful that you wonder if your skin will be blown off. And then you don’t want to touch the door with your clean hands, because not everyone is like YOU and sometimes they don’t wash their hands and God knows what germs are on the door handle, so you open it with the paper towel that finally came out of the towel holder and then you don’t know what to do with your used towel because not you have left the restroom and you are not nearly rested. Oh, I’m on a roll now, huh?
You know, there’s this whole dress code that we enforce on ourselves – no white in winter, no sandals until spring, etc. Remember when the biggest scandal in the Obama presidency was that he wore a tan suit (oh, those were the good old days…)? I have found that it is acceptable to wear a t-shirt (the non-logo or funny saying type) as long as you throw on a necklace to dress it up. I’d like to thank Tina Turner (for so many things) for strutting down the street wearing a black dress, killer heels (those legs!) and a denim jacket in the video for “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” She made jeans jackets wearable for practically any occasion two decades ago!
I always run out of hotdogs before I run out of rolls (probably because the hotdogs come in a package of 7 and the rolls come in a package of 8). Or I have to buy rolls to replace the leftover rolls I used and then have too many rolls because the dogs are gone. Is this what they mean when they say we need balance in our lives?
I like ordering things on line and then being surprised when the package arrives because I can’t remember what I ordered.
Maybe I was a bit late in jumping on board the James Holzhauer “Jeopardy” train, but I am no less intrigued by this incredibly intelligent, quick and competitive player than everyone else. His brilliant strategy for selecting the highest paying clue in each category and then working his way up the board is an innovative approach that now makes me wonder why no one else thought of it before he did. He amasses so much money by betting heavily in the Daily Doubles – and he bets very strange amounts – that by Final Jeopardy, it is almost impossible to beat him. I find this fascinating television, but I don’t get the outrage that he is “ruining the game.” There have been opinion pieces in such venerable publication as The Washington Post decrying his domination. People, the despot in charge in Washington is ruining the country and some of you are concerned about ruining a GAME SHOW? It is a GAME, it has lasted for 35+ years, and civilization will not be ruined if it were to go off the air. Turn your worries to things that are really worth protesting and let James rule!
The highlight of my day was finding my expensive eye vitamins on sale at ShopRite AND having a $5 coupon with me. I saved $12. I feel triumphant!
One of my latest favorite things is one of those stamp devices used to roll over and obliterate my address on junk mail, catalogs, envelopes, etc. The stamper says CONFIDENTIAL, and I roll over the address twice with it, upside down, so good luck to anyone trying to discern the actual address. The use of this simple device saves me from having to shred bills and other material before I recycle them. Mine was a gift, but I advise buying one to stay safe and anonymous – as much as possible.
For what it is worth, I vow to NEVER wear a jumpsuit. I don’t need to disrobe in a public bathroom every time I need to relieve myself. Thanks, but no. (Unless I get a jail sentence and am forced to don the OITNB jumpsuits.)
I have this annoying habit (among others) where I type a word that begins with a capital letter and accidentally capitalize the next letter, too. Such as APril 2019. I also make the same typos consistently, mistyping Chciago, buisness and other words. I think I have finger dyslexia (don’t worry, I made it up and you can’t catch it).
I have a box of toothpicks in the cabinet that spilled while I was taking them out. I threw away a bunch, but, since there are 750 in the box, it appears my lifetime supply of these ridiculously thin and breakable toothpicks will not be affected. I’m adding a new box to my shopping list in hopes of finding a smaller package with better quality toothpicks. Who says my life isn’t exciting?
Considering what a huge sports fan I am, it is amazing how little I know – or care – about hockey.
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