I just caught a few minutes of a TV talk show starring Martha Stewart and Snoop Dog and I am pretty sure I died and moved on to an alternate universe, because this CANNOT be real. It looks like a sketch from Saturday Night Live!
Why is an open-faced grilled cheese sandwich called the “Happy Waitress Special” in every diner in America? I have never seen a waitress celebrate that order.
For those of you wondering, Ice Cream Season has started here in the Gordon House, although with the cold weather we have been having, it is not a daily event.
Even though she didn’t know the answer to my question (Alexa, why do
bananas have strings?), I think Alexa was happy to start off her workday
with a question about something other than the weather report or my
schedule.
Despite all of the advances in medical technology, when you go to the eye doctor, they still hand you that old wooden spoon-like device (now made of plastic) to cover one eye at a time while you attempt to read the chart.
I always get a little anxious on that part of my eye exam when the doctor puts the big machine in front of me (you know, the one that has been used for decades), sets the numbers and asks me which one is better, number 1 or number 2. Is there a right or wrong answer? Can I try again? Maybe #2 does seems clearer, but was that supposed to be the case? Are my answers making any sense?
There should be training for people in supermarket conduct. For
example, don’t leave your cart in the middle of the aisle as you
complete your search for canned peaches. Chance are, it is in the way
of someone else. And don’t stick it in the middle of the aisle with
your hand on it while you grab something, because that blocks the aisle,
too. And please don’t leave your purse in the top of the cart while
you do any of these things or you are just asking to have it stolen.
Don’t go to the checkout line that is meant for 10 and under if you have
20 items. Once you are on the line, don’t go running through the store
to get that one thing (or more) that you forgot and leave the rest of
us waiting for your return. Get your coupons out and ready for the
cashier. If you are doing your own check-out (which I HATE to do), make
sure you know what you are doing (I often need help, which is one of
the reasons I try to avoid it!). Know the name of the apples you are
buying so you can look them up correctly. Once you leave the store, if
you can, put your cart in the designated cart collection areas and don’t
leave it there to roll into someone else’s car in the parking lot
(which happened to me just last week; no damage). And please, stop
standing in the produce or frozen food aisles wearing the shortest of
shorts and a tank top. That outfit is meant for Walmart, not ShopRite!
The May challenge from my photography club is to take a picture showing something decrepit, in disrepair or falling apart. When I mentioned in my physical therapy session that I had my camera with me, ready to take pictures, three people wanted to know if I would be taking pictures of them! Relax, folks, it is THINGS in disrepair, not those of you whose knees and hips are ready to collapse.
I don’t understand (or appreciate) women’s public restrooms that lack hooks to hang my handbag. What are you supposed to do with your purse when you are using the facilities? I don’t want to put my bag on the germy, disgusting floor. I actually have hung my bag around my neck to avoid having it hit the floor. Get some damn Command hooks, people. Let’s solve this problem!
While we are on the subject of restrooms, why do we call them restrooms? Does anyone go in there to take a rest? Where’s the couch? And do you really want to linger in a room where people are taking care of business? Yeah, I don’t think so.
And finally, when you are done washing your hands – with soap, if you can get some to eke out of the dispenser – you have to dry your hands. That could go one of two ways. You either have to do the Hokey Pokey under the paper towel dispenser to coax some out, or you have to put your hands under a blower that feels so powerful that you wonder if your skin will be blown off. And then you don’t want to touch the door with your clean hands, because not everyone is like YOU and sometimes they don’t wash their hands and God knows what germs are on the door handle, so you open it with the paper towel that finally came out of the towel holder and then you don’t know what to do with your used towel because not you have left the restroom and you are not nearly rested. Oh, I’m on a roll now, huh?
You know, there’s this whole dress code that we enforce on ourselves – no white in winter, no sandals until spring, etc. Remember when the biggest scandal in the Obama presidency was that he wore a tan suit (oh, those were the good old days…)? I have found that it is acceptable to wear a t-shirt (the non-logo or funny saying type) as long as you throw on a necklace to dress it up. I’d like to thank Tina Turner (for so many things) for strutting down the street wearing a black dress, killer heels (those legs!) and a denim jacket in the video for “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” She made jeans jackets wearable for practically any occasion two decades ago!
I always run out of hotdogs before I run out of rolls (probably because the hotdogs come in a package of 7 and the rolls come in a package of 8). Or I have to buy rolls to replace the leftover rolls I used and then have too many rolls because the dogs are gone. Is this what they mean when they say we need balance in our lives?
I like ordering things on line and then being surprised when the package arrives because I can’t remember what I ordered.
Maybe I was a bit late in jumping on board the James Holzhauer “Jeopardy” train, but I am no less intrigued by this incredibly intelligent, quick and competitive player than everyone else. His brilliant strategy for selecting the highest paying clue in each category and then working his way up the board is an innovative approach that now makes me wonder why no one else thought of it before he did. He amasses so much money by betting heavily in the Daily Doubles – and he bets very strange amounts – that by Final Jeopardy, it is almost impossible to beat him. I find this fascinating television, but I don’t get the outrage that he is “ruining the game.” There have been opinion pieces in such venerable publication as The Washington Post decrying his domination. People, the despot in charge in Washington is ruining the country and some of you are concerned about ruining a GAME SHOW? It is a GAME, it has lasted for 35+ years, and civilization will not be ruined if it were to go off the air. Turn your worries to things that are really worth protesting and let James rule!
The highlight of my day was finding my expensive eye vitamins on sale
at ShopRite AND having a $5 coupon with me. I saved $12. I feel
triumphant!
One of my latest favorite things is one of those stamp devices used to roll over and obliterate my address on junk mail, catalogs, envelopes, etc. The stamper says CONFIDENTIAL, and I roll over the address twice with it, upside down, so good luck to anyone trying to discern the actual address. The use of this simple device saves me from having to shred bills and other material before I recycle them. Mine was a gift, but I advise buying one to stay safe and anonymous – as much as possible.
For what it is worth, I vow to NEVER wear a jumpsuit. I don’t need to disrobe in a public bathroom every time I need to relieve myself. Thanks, but no. (Unless I get a jail sentence and am forced to don the OITNB jumpsuits.)
I have this annoying habit (among others) where I type a word that
begins with a capital letter and accidentally capitalize the next
letter, too. Such as APril 2019. I also make the same typos
consistently, mistyping Chciago, buisness and other words. I think I
have finger dyslexia (don’t worry, I made it up and you can’t catch it).
I have a box of toothpicks in the cabinet that spilled while I was
taking them out. I threw away a bunch, but, since there are 750 in the
box, it appears my lifetime supply of these ridiculously thin and
breakable toothpicks will not be affected. I’m adding a new box to my
shopping list in hopes of finding a smaller package with better quality
toothpicks. Who says my life isn’t exciting?
Considering what a huge sports fan I am, it is amazing how little I know – or care – about hockey.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Tina's April 2019 Movies
April was the month of music for me, as I saw concert movies and documentaries on everyone from Aretha to Beyonce, with a visit to Muscle Shoals, Alabama, and the classic "rockumentary" "This is Spinal Tap." And some oldies but goodies are thrown in. Numbering picks up from previous months and movies marked with an * asterisk are ones I had not seen previously. The ratings are from 0-5 cans of tuna (this month a rare 0 appears on the list), with 5 being the top.
44. The Wizard of Lies (2017) – This is not a political story. It is the tale of financier/investment counselor Bernie Madoff, a man clever enough to concoct perhaps the largest Ponzi scheme ever perpetrated on the public. The story here begins as Madoff’s sons question him about why he is signing bonus checks to employees and they get answers they never could have imagined. Madoff misled investors for years, delivering outstanding investment returns by using new money to pay off earlier investors. But at some point, things have to crumble, because there would never be enough money coming in to deliver on the promise. Madoff (Robert DeNiro) leads a lavish lifestyle, hides everything about his business from everyone but a trusted few henchmen (which does not include his wife – played by Michelle Pfeiffer – or his sons, who worked for one of his companies), and is demanding, petulant and dishonest. When it all comes crashing down, he partially blames the investors themselves – many of whom lost their life savings after trusting Bernie to manage them – for being too greedy. But this story focuses less on the effects on the larger community than on his own family. His wife went from being a society matron to being a pariah whose hairdresser banned her. His two sons, who apparently were kept in the dark by their megalomaniac father, lost their livelihoods and, ultimately their lives. It is hard to have much sympathy for people whose privilege gave them so many materials things. If you remember back to 2008 when this scheme came to light, you will recall that Madoff pleaded guilty and was sentenced to more than 100 years in jail. This recreation of the events shows how one person can be so evil that they have no understanding of the harm they can inflict on thousands or even just a few people. 4 cans.
45. The Girl on the Train (2016) – The book was better. That said, this is still a suspenseful story of a woman who drinks too much but has extraordinary powers of observation from a moving train. She is a voyeur, making up stories about the people whose homes she passes on her daily commute into New York to a job she no longer has because of her drinking problem. Rachel (Emily Blunt) is a mess, alone and not recovering from a nasty divorce, jealous of her husband’s new wife and the people who live in her own house. But did she have anything to do with the babysitter who is missing? Read the book or see the movie. 3½ cans.
46. The Best of Enemies* (2019) – Based on a true story, this movie is about C. P. Ellis (Sam Rockwell), the leader of the Klu Klux Klan in Durham, North Carolina, and Ann Atwater (Taraji P. Henson), the fierce local leader of the black community, who knows how to get things done. C. P. and his gang use violence, threats and any other means to intimidate the local community, but when a coalition is formed to discuss school integration in the aftermath of a fire that destroyed the local black elementary school, the two find themselves in a stand-off that must be resolved. The Klan is depicted in the negative light that it deserves, and the hatred demonstrated is frightening. Strong performances and an excellent story made better by the fact that it is true. 4 cans.
47. Singin’ in the Rain (1952 – There is no movie musical more iconic than this jewel from the genius that is Gene Kelly. Kelly, along with sidekicks Donald O’Connor and a 19-year old novice, Debbie Reynolds, deliver exuberant performances, athletic dancing and vibrant songs in this classic, widely considered the best musical of all time. We can skip the details on the plot in favor of reveling in Kelly and his umbrella splashing down the street in the title song, or Donald O’Connor’s amazing number, “Make ‘Em Laugh,” or even the self-indulgent and ethereal “Broadway Ballet,” which has no real relevance to the plot other than to showcase the dancing of Cyd Charisse. This one may be a bit corny, but it is a classic. Kelly’s dance style meshes perfectly with his co-stars and is riveting to watch. If you love musicals, this one was meant for you. 5 cans.
48. Body Heat (1981) – Baby, it’s hot. This movie, set in hot, hot Miami, is enough to make you sweat for many reasons. William Hurt plays Ned Racine, an attorney far more interested in the ladies than in the law. A sexy, smoldering Kathleen Turner is Matty Walker, wife of a businessman, who lures Ned into a passionate affair. She claims to love him, but wouldn’t it be better if her husband wasn’t in the way, she opines. Let’s kill him and split the insurance money, he suggests. What could go wrong, right? There is a lot of 1981 sex and plenty of sweating in this film noir (think “Double Indemnity” with Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray), a thriller that tries to keep the viewer off-balance. Turner was at the beginning of her career here and never looked better. When Hurt breaks through the glass to get to her, phew! 4 cans.
49. Crazy Rich Asians* (2018) – I shouldn’t review this ridiculous waste of time and money at all, since I never finished watching it. The story is that an attractive young couple go to Singapore for the wedding of his close friend, but the woman has no idea that her boyfriend is the scion of an extremely wealthy family and the most eligible bachelor in Asia. The couple has to put up with his crazy, rich friends and family and go along on outlandish outings. I found nothing redeemable about this movie and I am only glad I waited to see it for free on cable instead of paying to see it in the movies. 0 cans.
50. The Highwaymen* (2019) – Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson are two former Texas Rangers called on to stop the crime spree and killings by the notorious Bonnie and Clyde in the 1930s. With no GPS and no cell phones, they track the elusive duo. The grizzled vets are experienced and serious about this assignment, but there is a token bit of humor in this period piece. Bonnie and Clyde were young and good-looking and very popular with the public (their funerals attracted thousands of people) and finding them was not an easy task. I thought this movie was well-played but a bit slow. These are the actual guys who tracked down the dynamic duo, an element of truth that adds to the story. 3½ cans.
51. Amazing Grace* (2019) – I don’t know why this documentary about the recording of a gospel album by the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin, took nearly 50 years to be released but I do know this: It was worth the wait. When she closes her eyes and opens her mouth to sing the very first song, you are transfixed by the power, purity and soul of this immensely talented woman. Listening to Aretha wail out gospel standards gave me chills and thrills and demonstrated so clearly the influence of the church on so many singers. It was almost enough to make me want to be a Baptist! According to my research, Aretha had decided that, after a slew of gold records, she wanted to get back to singing in the church. Over a 2-day period in 1972, director Sydney Pollack recorded her singing at a small church in Los Angeles. Backed by the Southern California Community Choir, and working with the Reverend James Cleveland, Aretha went back to her roots, and the subsequent album became her biggest-selling one ever. In the movie, you feel Aretha’s passion and celebrate her love of the church. By day 2, her pastor father shows up, and you can find a young Mick Jagger clapping his hands and tapping his toes in the audience, some of whom are overcome by the emotion of it all. There is no pretense here, no contrived sets or costume changes. You see Pollack’s crew trying to capture the moment, and the setting is so intimate that you feel almost like you are there. And when she does Amazing Grace, it is truly amazing. What a joyful noise! 4 cans.
52. Muscle Shoals* (2013) – My old boss, seeing my mention on Facebook of “Amazing Grace,” suggested I watch this movie about the Alabama location where Aretha recorded many of her hits. Record producer Rick Hall was the musical genius behind the distinct sound of Muscle Shoals music, mostly recorded by local musicians who became known as “The Swampers.” Their distinctive bass-line and percussion sound can be heard on songs by everyone from Aretha, Wilson Pickett and Percy Sledge to Dylan, the Rolling Stones and the Allman brothers, a musical legacy that has lasted for decades. Some of the best and most popular songs of their generation were recorded in Muscle Shoals, a place which captured some king of magic in the air and soul that could not be charted on paper. If you love music from the 60s and on, catch this documentary and revisit the mystique that was Muscle Shoals. 4 cans.
53. The Wrecking Crew (2015) – Next we move to Southern California for the music of The Righteous Brothers, the Mamas and Papas, Jan and Dean and the Beach Boys. You know their songs, but you probably don’t know the session musicians responsible for their success. This documentary by the son of Wrecking Crew guitar player Tommy Tedesco traces the formation of a group of session musicians whose prowess led to countless hits in the 60s on, mostly faceless musicians who, like “The Swampers,” didn’t need charts to contribute their unique skills to such unforgettable albums as the Beach Boys’ “Pet Sounds,” or to Phil Spector’s renowned “wall of sound.” Whether backing up countless “girl groups” (including The Ronettes, whose “Be My Baby” happens to be my all-time favorite song) or creating memorable guitar licks, these musicians were constantly busy, playing sessions morning, noon and night. They didn’t go on the road because they were in such demand in the studio. Some artists and producers scheduled their recording sessions around the availability of these talented artists. Their creativity contributed to countless standards. The group’s main bass player, Carol Kaye, a rare woman on the job, came up with an intro for “Wichita Lineman,” by former session player Glen Campbell, who went on to solo stardom. The interesting thing is that they got no credit for their work, because groups like the Beach Boys didn’t have the musical chops of the session players (except for genius Brian Wilson), but the “band” had to perform the songs at concerts. When groups like the Monkees came along, the producers wanted the public to think they played their own music, but it was the session musicians who made the actual records. Pay close attention to the section on recording with Brian Wilson and you will understand the power of talent and imagination. 4 cans.
54. 20 Feet from Stardom (2013) – I’ll take music documentaries for $200, Alex. I’m continuing my music jam with this documentary featuring some of the most talented singers to ever record. Most of them are career back-up singers, those mostly nameless, mostly black women who perform background on records – sometimes with no credit for their work – and on stage, standing behind the featured artist. But imagine Mick Jagger singing “Gimme Shelter” without Merry Clayton’s searing vocal. Think of the Ike & Tina Turner Review. Think of just about any “girl group” and you’ll find Darlene Love. Some of these singers made it to their own stardom (Luther Van Dross started as a back-up singer), but others were content to stay in the background, using their musical gifts to blend with other singers and create unforgettable harmonies. The talent level of the performers highlighted here is off the charts – even as the songs they help create and popularize topped the charts. 4 cans.
55. Homecoming* (2019) – In 2018 Beyoncé became the first black female performer to headline at the Coachella festival. With an epic performance of her hits, surrounded by as many as 200 singers, dancers and musicians, she put on a spectacular show for the ages that will intimate most other women taking the lead spot in the future. Truthfully, Beyoncé is not my favorite performer (I find some of her lyrics objectionable, and her costumes are too racy for me), but here she is a force of nature, singing, dancing, empowering, inspiring – and exhausting. I don’t know how she felt by the end of her show, but I was spent. I can see why the Hive worships its Queen. 4 cans.
56. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) – And we end our musical tour with Rob Reiner’s definitive “rockumentary,” a tour de force satire about an aging heavy metal band that might just be the worst group in history. The movie itself never hits a wrong note, thanks to the brilliance of the writers and performers – Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Reiner himself. It flows so naturally that it is hard to imagine that there was a script. There are cameos from Paul Simon, Howard Hesseman, Fran Drescher and other playing “important” people in the music business. Amid gigs being cancelled and drummers exploding, the band takes the stage to perform such big and awful “hits” as “Sex Farm” and “Big Bottom,” amid sets that are too small or don’t operate properly. My two favorite bits are Guest as Nigel explaining to Reiner as documentarian Marty why their amps go up to 11 instead of the standard 10 (“It’s one better”) and the lost boys racing down backstage hallways trying to find the access to the stage (“Hello, Cleveland! Rock and Roll!” they keep shouting). This clever, inventive film is a classic comedy. 4½ cans.
57. Blackklansman* (2018) – Spike Lee scores big in this depiction of the real-life story of Ron Stallworth (John David Washington), the first African-American police officer in Colorado Springs. Ron risks his life to infiltrate the Klu Klux Klan, initiating connections with the white supremacists by phone, only to have them want to meet him in person. Fellow officer Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver) becomes the white Ron, as the two team up to take down the KKK. Meanwhile, the real Ron meets activist president of the Black Students Congress at a Stokely Carmichael rally and has to hide his profession from the woman who hates cops. All of the stereotyped white Klanspeople are on hand, including Grand Poo-bah (or whatever he is called) David Dukes. This movie is equally insulting to both blacks, whites and Jews (Flip is Jewish) – but in a way entirely consistent with the 60s. Sadly, it ends with actual footage of the white race riots in Charlottesville, Va., from 2017. The movie is brilliantly done and acted, but it is disturbing that these notions of race superiority and wanton violence continue today. 4 cans.
44. The Wizard of Lies (2017) – This is not a political story. It is the tale of financier/investment counselor Bernie Madoff, a man clever enough to concoct perhaps the largest Ponzi scheme ever perpetrated on the public. The story here begins as Madoff’s sons question him about why he is signing bonus checks to employees and they get answers they never could have imagined. Madoff misled investors for years, delivering outstanding investment returns by using new money to pay off earlier investors. But at some point, things have to crumble, because there would never be enough money coming in to deliver on the promise. Madoff (Robert DeNiro) leads a lavish lifestyle, hides everything about his business from everyone but a trusted few henchmen (which does not include his wife – played by Michelle Pfeiffer – or his sons, who worked for one of his companies), and is demanding, petulant and dishonest. When it all comes crashing down, he partially blames the investors themselves – many of whom lost their life savings after trusting Bernie to manage them – for being too greedy. But this story focuses less on the effects on the larger community than on his own family. His wife went from being a society matron to being a pariah whose hairdresser banned her. His two sons, who apparently were kept in the dark by their megalomaniac father, lost their livelihoods and, ultimately their lives. It is hard to have much sympathy for people whose privilege gave them so many materials things. If you remember back to 2008 when this scheme came to light, you will recall that Madoff pleaded guilty and was sentenced to more than 100 years in jail. This recreation of the events shows how one person can be so evil that they have no understanding of the harm they can inflict on thousands or even just a few people. 4 cans.
45. The Girl on the Train (2016) – The book was better. That said, this is still a suspenseful story of a woman who drinks too much but has extraordinary powers of observation from a moving train. She is a voyeur, making up stories about the people whose homes she passes on her daily commute into New York to a job she no longer has because of her drinking problem. Rachel (Emily Blunt) is a mess, alone and not recovering from a nasty divorce, jealous of her husband’s new wife and the people who live in her own house. But did she have anything to do with the babysitter who is missing? Read the book or see the movie. 3½ cans.
46. The Best of Enemies* (2019) – Based on a true story, this movie is about C. P. Ellis (Sam Rockwell), the leader of the Klu Klux Klan in Durham, North Carolina, and Ann Atwater (Taraji P. Henson), the fierce local leader of the black community, who knows how to get things done. C. P. and his gang use violence, threats and any other means to intimidate the local community, but when a coalition is formed to discuss school integration in the aftermath of a fire that destroyed the local black elementary school, the two find themselves in a stand-off that must be resolved. The Klan is depicted in the negative light that it deserves, and the hatred demonstrated is frightening. Strong performances and an excellent story made better by the fact that it is true. 4 cans.
47. Singin’ in the Rain (1952 – There is no movie musical more iconic than this jewel from the genius that is Gene Kelly. Kelly, along with sidekicks Donald O’Connor and a 19-year old novice, Debbie Reynolds, deliver exuberant performances, athletic dancing and vibrant songs in this classic, widely considered the best musical of all time. We can skip the details on the plot in favor of reveling in Kelly and his umbrella splashing down the street in the title song, or Donald O’Connor’s amazing number, “Make ‘Em Laugh,” or even the self-indulgent and ethereal “Broadway Ballet,” which has no real relevance to the plot other than to showcase the dancing of Cyd Charisse. This one may be a bit corny, but it is a classic. Kelly’s dance style meshes perfectly with his co-stars and is riveting to watch. If you love musicals, this one was meant for you. 5 cans.
48. Body Heat (1981) – Baby, it’s hot. This movie, set in hot, hot Miami, is enough to make you sweat for many reasons. William Hurt plays Ned Racine, an attorney far more interested in the ladies than in the law. A sexy, smoldering Kathleen Turner is Matty Walker, wife of a businessman, who lures Ned into a passionate affair. She claims to love him, but wouldn’t it be better if her husband wasn’t in the way, she opines. Let’s kill him and split the insurance money, he suggests. What could go wrong, right? There is a lot of 1981 sex and plenty of sweating in this film noir (think “Double Indemnity” with Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray), a thriller that tries to keep the viewer off-balance. Turner was at the beginning of her career here and never looked better. When Hurt breaks through the glass to get to her, phew! 4 cans.
49. Crazy Rich Asians* (2018) – I shouldn’t review this ridiculous waste of time and money at all, since I never finished watching it. The story is that an attractive young couple go to Singapore for the wedding of his close friend, but the woman has no idea that her boyfriend is the scion of an extremely wealthy family and the most eligible bachelor in Asia. The couple has to put up with his crazy, rich friends and family and go along on outlandish outings. I found nothing redeemable about this movie and I am only glad I waited to see it for free on cable instead of paying to see it in the movies. 0 cans.
50. The Highwaymen* (2019) – Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson are two former Texas Rangers called on to stop the crime spree and killings by the notorious Bonnie and Clyde in the 1930s. With no GPS and no cell phones, they track the elusive duo. The grizzled vets are experienced and serious about this assignment, but there is a token bit of humor in this period piece. Bonnie and Clyde were young and good-looking and very popular with the public (their funerals attracted thousands of people) and finding them was not an easy task. I thought this movie was well-played but a bit slow. These are the actual guys who tracked down the dynamic duo, an element of truth that adds to the story. 3½ cans.
51. Amazing Grace* (2019) – I don’t know why this documentary about the recording of a gospel album by the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin, took nearly 50 years to be released but I do know this: It was worth the wait. When she closes her eyes and opens her mouth to sing the very first song, you are transfixed by the power, purity and soul of this immensely talented woman. Listening to Aretha wail out gospel standards gave me chills and thrills and demonstrated so clearly the influence of the church on so many singers. It was almost enough to make me want to be a Baptist! According to my research, Aretha had decided that, after a slew of gold records, she wanted to get back to singing in the church. Over a 2-day period in 1972, director Sydney Pollack recorded her singing at a small church in Los Angeles. Backed by the Southern California Community Choir, and working with the Reverend James Cleveland, Aretha went back to her roots, and the subsequent album became her biggest-selling one ever. In the movie, you feel Aretha’s passion and celebrate her love of the church. By day 2, her pastor father shows up, and you can find a young Mick Jagger clapping his hands and tapping his toes in the audience, some of whom are overcome by the emotion of it all. There is no pretense here, no contrived sets or costume changes. You see Pollack’s crew trying to capture the moment, and the setting is so intimate that you feel almost like you are there. And when she does Amazing Grace, it is truly amazing. What a joyful noise! 4 cans.
52. Muscle Shoals* (2013) – My old boss, seeing my mention on Facebook of “Amazing Grace,” suggested I watch this movie about the Alabama location where Aretha recorded many of her hits. Record producer Rick Hall was the musical genius behind the distinct sound of Muscle Shoals music, mostly recorded by local musicians who became known as “The Swampers.” Their distinctive bass-line and percussion sound can be heard on songs by everyone from Aretha, Wilson Pickett and Percy Sledge to Dylan, the Rolling Stones and the Allman brothers, a musical legacy that has lasted for decades. Some of the best and most popular songs of their generation were recorded in Muscle Shoals, a place which captured some king of magic in the air and soul that could not be charted on paper. If you love music from the 60s and on, catch this documentary and revisit the mystique that was Muscle Shoals. 4 cans.
53. The Wrecking Crew (2015) – Next we move to Southern California for the music of The Righteous Brothers, the Mamas and Papas, Jan and Dean and the Beach Boys. You know their songs, but you probably don’t know the session musicians responsible for their success. This documentary by the son of Wrecking Crew guitar player Tommy Tedesco traces the formation of a group of session musicians whose prowess led to countless hits in the 60s on, mostly faceless musicians who, like “The Swampers,” didn’t need charts to contribute their unique skills to such unforgettable albums as the Beach Boys’ “Pet Sounds,” or to Phil Spector’s renowned “wall of sound.” Whether backing up countless “girl groups” (including The Ronettes, whose “Be My Baby” happens to be my all-time favorite song) or creating memorable guitar licks, these musicians were constantly busy, playing sessions morning, noon and night. They didn’t go on the road because they were in such demand in the studio. Some artists and producers scheduled their recording sessions around the availability of these talented artists. Their creativity contributed to countless standards. The group’s main bass player, Carol Kaye, a rare woman on the job, came up with an intro for “Wichita Lineman,” by former session player Glen Campbell, who went on to solo stardom. The interesting thing is that they got no credit for their work, because groups like the Beach Boys didn’t have the musical chops of the session players (except for genius Brian Wilson), but the “band” had to perform the songs at concerts. When groups like the Monkees came along, the producers wanted the public to think they played their own music, but it was the session musicians who made the actual records. Pay close attention to the section on recording with Brian Wilson and you will understand the power of talent and imagination. 4 cans.
54. 20 Feet from Stardom (2013) – I’ll take music documentaries for $200, Alex. I’m continuing my music jam with this documentary featuring some of the most talented singers to ever record. Most of them are career back-up singers, those mostly nameless, mostly black women who perform background on records – sometimes with no credit for their work – and on stage, standing behind the featured artist. But imagine Mick Jagger singing “Gimme Shelter” without Merry Clayton’s searing vocal. Think of the Ike & Tina Turner Review. Think of just about any “girl group” and you’ll find Darlene Love. Some of these singers made it to their own stardom (Luther Van Dross started as a back-up singer), but others were content to stay in the background, using their musical gifts to blend with other singers and create unforgettable harmonies. The talent level of the performers highlighted here is off the charts – even as the songs they help create and popularize topped the charts. 4 cans.
55. Homecoming* (2019) – In 2018 Beyoncé became the first black female performer to headline at the Coachella festival. With an epic performance of her hits, surrounded by as many as 200 singers, dancers and musicians, she put on a spectacular show for the ages that will intimate most other women taking the lead spot in the future. Truthfully, Beyoncé is not my favorite performer (I find some of her lyrics objectionable, and her costumes are too racy for me), but here she is a force of nature, singing, dancing, empowering, inspiring – and exhausting. I don’t know how she felt by the end of her show, but I was spent. I can see why the Hive worships its Queen. 4 cans.
56. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) – And we end our musical tour with Rob Reiner’s definitive “rockumentary,” a tour de force satire about an aging heavy metal band that might just be the worst group in history. The movie itself never hits a wrong note, thanks to the brilliance of the writers and performers – Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Reiner himself. It flows so naturally that it is hard to imagine that there was a script. There are cameos from Paul Simon, Howard Hesseman, Fran Drescher and other playing “important” people in the music business. Amid gigs being cancelled and drummers exploding, the band takes the stage to perform such big and awful “hits” as “Sex Farm” and “Big Bottom,” amid sets that are too small or don’t operate properly. My two favorite bits are Guest as Nigel explaining to Reiner as documentarian Marty why their amps go up to 11 instead of the standard 10 (“It’s one better”) and the lost boys racing down backstage hallways trying to find the access to the stage (“Hello, Cleveland! Rock and Roll!” they keep shouting). This clever, inventive film is a classic comedy. 4½ cans.
57. Blackklansman* (2018) – Spike Lee scores big in this depiction of the real-life story of Ron Stallworth (John David Washington), the first African-American police officer in Colorado Springs. Ron risks his life to infiltrate the Klu Klux Klan, initiating connections with the white supremacists by phone, only to have them want to meet him in person. Fellow officer Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver) becomes the white Ron, as the two team up to take down the KKK. Meanwhile, the real Ron meets activist president of the Black Students Congress at a Stokely Carmichael rally and has to hide his profession from the woman who hates cops. All of the stereotyped white Klanspeople are on hand, including Grand Poo-bah (or whatever he is called) David Dukes. This movie is equally insulting to both blacks, whites and Jews (Flip is Jewish) – but in a way entirely consistent with the 60s. Sadly, it ends with actual footage of the white race riots in Charlottesville, Va., from 2017. The movie is brilliantly done and acted, but it is disturbing that these notions of race superiority and wanton violence continue today. 4 cans.
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Springing Into April
MYTH: No matter how many days I leave a wrinkled garment hanging in the bathroom while I shower, the wrinkles remain. The same thing is true of my face.
Why is it that the people who forget to turn off their phones or silence them at a meeting or in the movies take FOREVER to get them out of their pockets or handbags so the rest of us have to sit there and be distracted while they search? So annoying. Don’t be that person.
You know you are getting old when you get an email from AARP (start with that) with an offer for a free FLIP PHONE and service for only $20 a month. Of course, you can only make calls to 2006, but it’s only $20 a month!
I can’t say that I am NOT a fan of “Game of Thrones” because I have never watched it. Not a single minute of it. Fantasy and violence are not my thing. If I wanted fantasy, I’d go back and watch “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” because the idea that one pair of jeans can fit all four friends in that movie is enough fantasy for me. And there’s no violence, unless the girls get into a fight about somebody stretching out those pants!
Is it even possible NOT to sing along to Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe?” Unless you are too young to remember it, that is.
I have one of those houseplants that people say “anyone” can keep alive. Clearly, I am not just “anyone,” because mine is now on life support. I pulled off the dead leaves and then accidentally broke off the only part remaining alive. I stuck it in water in hopes of generating new roots so I can replant it. It’s kind of like torture for the plant, but I swear it is not intentional.
Just out of curiosity, what kitchen tools or gadgets do you use most often? For me, it is a pair of tongs and a butter spreader (also used for jam, etc.). I guess you can tell I consume too many carbs if I am using a spreader so often.
My light blue mouthwash is stored dangerously close to my light blue nail polish remover. Note to self: Reorganize items under the bathroom sink.
You know things are bad when your exercise program consists mainly of bending down to reposition the throw rug.
The last time I changed the sheets, I put the clean ones on so tightly that I thought I might have to call the fire department to come over with the jaws of life to get me out of bed!
If I ever write a book, I will use a pseudonym as an author. Look for a book by Paige Turner.
I love reading books on my Kindle. It is easy on my eyes and so convenient to slip into my handbag or carry-on. But without the actual book in my hands, I often can’t remember the title and author! I know my book club friends say the same thing. So, if you ask us what we are reading, don’t be surprised if we hesitate before we can come up with the name of the book!
In a couple of weeks, I have to make remarks at a dinner event. I have three minutes. My BFF told her daughter I would actually need three hours. I hope I can find a happy medium.
For the first time in my life, the smoke detector started chirping during the afternoon and NOT in the middle of the night. It took a lot of staring at the six detectors in this house to figure out which one was the culprit and then an equal amount of time to figure out how to replace the battery. When you are just over five feet tall, chores like this are a major challenge. But up the big ladder I went, finally figuring out how to access and change the batteries in each one. Thank goodness for a taller friend in the neighborhood who was able to reach the highest one, in the bedroom, which would have kept me up all night.
As I was looking for the instructions on how to change the battery on the aforementioned smoke alarms (which for some reason I no longer have), I was shocked to see the plethora of pamphlets for every kind of appliance and device I have ever bought. OK, the large ones, for things like the furnace and refrigerator, are in a nice, neat binder that came with the house, but among the instructions in plastic bags or manila folders are those for things like the can opener, the blender and the 25-year-old toaster oven, which I have used about a zillion times. Some are for things I don’t even own anymore, and others are for things that if I can’t figure out how to work, I should not be allowed to use them in the first place.
I have become really good at avoiding eye contact with people I don’t want to talk to. It’s a small challenge, but I am up to it.
Whenever I am the 4th or 5th car in the left turn lane and the light turns green, the cars ahead of me fail to react in a timely fashion, which means I end up getting the light AGAIN and have to wait. The probability of this happening increases when it is a really LONG light, one of those lights where I feel like I could read War & Peace until it turns green again. People – pay attention!
I am 68 years old and I still double-knot my shoelaces. If the laces are long enough, I will triple-knot them.
I swear, if it weren’t for junk mail, I’d get no mail at all – except for bills that don’t get paid directly from my bank account. I am now the proud owner of one of those stamp things that you roll over your address, so I can obliterate it on every promo mailing I receive from dentists and landscapers, every invitation to attend seminars on retirement, every lawyer who wants to plan my estate, every catalog for kids books and puzzles (and how I got on that list, I’ll never know) and every offer for hearing tests and health screenings (wait, I may need those…) before I toss them into recycling.
Let’s talk about all of the fundraising being done on social media sites. I commend all of you who are running, marching, collecting or whatever to raise money for your favorite causes. I actually feel pangs of great Jewish guilt when I don’t give. But after donating for bike rides and dance marathons and cancer research initiatives and feeding poor people and polar plunges or supporting sick children, I’m feeling a little tapped out. And if you never or rarely contact me or LIKE my Facebook posts, don’t expect me to suddenly come up with a donation. Please know I support your effort, but I’m not taking out the credit card for each and every ask. But keep up the good work and feel free to give when I ask for YOUR help.
Do you ever blow your nose and your ears pop and you didn’t even know they were clogged in the first place?
When I watch programs on my DVR, Comcast marks the location of the commercials. This feature enables the viewer to hit the FAST FORWARD button, and the show will resume at the end of the commercial block (thank you, Comcast/Xfinity). If this feature is available from your cable company, check it out. In watching a 3-hour edition of American Idol recently, I counted 14 commercial blocks, so imagine wasting that much time. I prefer to watch programs on the DVR rather than live just so I can skip the ads.
I managed to use the words “ethereal” and “befuddled” today. My work here is done.
Why is it that the people who forget to turn off their phones or silence them at a meeting or in the movies take FOREVER to get them out of their pockets or handbags so the rest of us have to sit there and be distracted while they search? So annoying. Don’t be that person.
You know you are getting old when you get an email from AARP (start with that) with an offer for a free FLIP PHONE and service for only $20 a month. Of course, you can only make calls to 2006, but it’s only $20 a month!
I can’t say that I am NOT a fan of “Game of Thrones” because I have never watched it. Not a single minute of it. Fantasy and violence are not my thing. If I wanted fantasy, I’d go back and watch “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” because the idea that one pair of jeans can fit all four friends in that movie is enough fantasy for me. And there’s no violence, unless the girls get into a fight about somebody stretching out those pants!
Is it even possible NOT to sing along to Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe?” Unless you are too young to remember it, that is.
I have one of those houseplants that people say “anyone” can keep alive. Clearly, I am not just “anyone,” because mine is now on life support. I pulled off the dead leaves and then accidentally broke off the only part remaining alive. I stuck it in water in hopes of generating new roots so I can replant it. It’s kind of like torture for the plant, but I swear it is not intentional.
Just out of curiosity, what kitchen tools or gadgets do you use most often? For me, it is a pair of tongs and a butter spreader (also used for jam, etc.). I guess you can tell I consume too many carbs if I am using a spreader so often.
My light blue mouthwash is stored dangerously close to my light blue nail polish remover. Note to self: Reorganize items under the bathroom sink.
You know things are bad when your exercise program consists mainly of bending down to reposition the throw rug.
The last time I changed the sheets, I put the clean ones on so tightly that I thought I might have to call the fire department to come over with the jaws of life to get me out of bed!
If I ever write a book, I will use a pseudonym as an author. Look for a book by Paige Turner.
I love reading books on my Kindle. It is easy on my eyes and so convenient to slip into my handbag or carry-on. But without the actual book in my hands, I often can’t remember the title and author! I know my book club friends say the same thing. So, if you ask us what we are reading, don’t be surprised if we hesitate before we can come up with the name of the book!
In a couple of weeks, I have to make remarks at a dinner event. I have three minutes. My BFF told her daughter I would actually need three hours. I hope I can find a happy medium.
For the first time in my life, the smoke detector started chirping during the afternoon and NOT in the middle of the night. It took a lot of staring at the six detectors in this house to figure out which one was the culprit and then an equal amount of time to figure out how to replace the battery. When you are just over five feet tall, chores like this are a major challenge. But up the big ladder I went, finally figuring out how to access and change the batteries in each one. Thank goodness for a taller friend in the neighborhood who was able to reach the highest one, in the bedroom, which would have kept me up all night.
As I was looking for the instructions on how to change the battery on the aforementioned smoke alarms (which for some reason I no longer have), I was shocked to see the plethora of pamphlets for every kind of appliance and device I have ever bought. OK, the large ones, for things like the furnace and refrigerator, are in a nice, neat binder that came with the house, but among the instructions in plastic bags or manila folders are those for things like the can opener, the blender and the 25-year-old toaster oven, which I have used about a zillion times. Some are for things I don’t even own anymore, and others are for things that if I can’t figure out how to work, I should not be allowed to use them in the first place.
I have become really good at avoiding eye contact with people I don’t want to talk to. It’s a small challenge, but I am up to it.
Whenever I am the 4th or 5th car in the left turn lane and the light turns green, the cars ahead of me fail to react in a timely fashion, which means I end up getting the light AGAIN and have to wait. The probability of this happening increases when it is a really LONG light, one of those lights where I feel like I could read War & Peace until it turns green again. People – pay attention!
I am 68 years old and I still double-knot my shoelaces. If the laces are long enough, I will triple-knot them.
I swear, if it weren’t for junk mail, I’d get no mail at all – except for bills that don’t get paid directly from my bank account. I am now the proud owner of one of those stamp things that you roll over your address, so I can obliterate it on every promo mailing I receive from dentists and landscapers, every invitation to attend seminars on retirement, every lawyer who wants to plan my estate, every catalog for kids books and puzzles (and how I got on that list, I’ll never know) and every offer for hearing tests and health screenings (wait, I may need those…) before I toss them into recycling.
Let’s talk about all of the fundraising being done on social media sites. I commend all of you who are running, marching, collecting or whatever to raise money for your favorite causes. I actually feel pangs of great Jewish guilt when I don’t give. But after donating for bike rides and dance marathons and cancer research initiatives and feeding poor people and polar plunges or supporting sick children, I’m feeling a little tapped out. And if you never or rarely contact me or LIKE my Facebook posts, don’t expect me to suddenly come up with a donation. Please know I support your effort, but I’m not taking out the credit card for each and every ask. But keep up the good work and feel free to give when I ask for YOUR help.
Do you ever blow your nose and your ears pop and you didn’t even know they were clogged in the first place?
When I watch programs on my DVR, Comcast marks the location of the commercials. This feature enables the viewer to hit the FAST FORWARD button, and the show will resume at the end of the commercial block (thank you, Comcast/Xfinity). If this feature is available from your cable company, check it out. In watching a 3-hour edition of American Idol recently, I counted 14 commercial blocks, so imagine wasting that much time. I prefer to watch programs on the DVR rather than live just so I can skip the ads.
I managed to use the words “ethereal” and “befuddled” today. My work here is done.
Monday, April 1, 2019
Tina's March 2019 Movies
Despite watching as many as six basketball games a day during March Madness, I managed to hit double figures this month in movies. I highly recommend the documentaries listed here, and one of my all-time faves, Auntie Mame. Numbering picks up from previous months and movies marked with an asterisk* are ones I had not seen previously. The ratings are on a basis of 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 at the top.
32. Free Solo* (2018) – I understand that men climb mountains because they are there, but I’ll never understand why someone would want to climb a mountain using just his hands and feet, with no safety equipment or anything else to assist him. This stunning movie shows climber Alex Honnold as he prepares to climb the intimidating El Capitan's 900-meter vertical rock face at Yosemite National Park, the first person to successfully complete this challenge solo. I watched this on TV but I am certain it would have been even more visually arresting if I had seen it on a big movie screen. Alex is a man accustomed to being on his own, and his venture in solo climbing – while it requires significant assistance from the team around him – perfectly suits his personality. This documentary beat out the movie on Mr. Rogers for this year’s Oscar and it could not be more visually different from the latter. However, both films reflect what humans with real conviction can do. 3½ cans.
33. Smokey & the Bandit (1977) – This oldie but goodie showcases Burt Reynolds at his best – a good-old boy, full of fun and mischief, who takes on a challenge to transport a truckload of beer and return within a defined number of hours. He is the Bandit, and he drives the hot car that serves as the lookout while his trucker buddy Cledus (Jerry Reed) handles hauling the Coors, all with aptly named Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) in hot pursuit. Along the way, he runs into (almost literally) fleeing bride Carrie (Sally Field), and soon she is in on the action. This is a silly but fun movie that developed into a franchise of sorts. Reynolds handles his role with a smile and a wink (including at least one directly into the camera) that lets us all know we are in for a good time. 3 cans.
34. Apollo 11* (2019) – Remarkable footage from NASA on the flight of the first flight to land safely on the moon makes this documentary extremely compelling. There is no narration; we see and hear actual footage and audio recorded at the time from a myriad of cameras that document the days leading up to the launch and the eventual landing and safe return of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from their exploration of the lunar surface – while Michael Collins circles around the moon and deftly redocks the space capsule with the lunar landing module. If science fiction is your preference, this movie probably isn’t for you because it isn’t spectacular enough. But if you like the real thing – the astronauts donning their space suits, the white-shirted engineers and space officials checking each system and giving the “go for launch” commands – then see this movie in a theatre. It is larger than life. 4 cans.
35. Juanita* (2019) – Considering the dramatic talents of star Alfre Woodard, this Netflix original movie did not measure up to the level I would expect. Juanita is a single other of grown children whom she loves but who cause her headaches. One son is in jail, the other is likely to join him, and her daughter expects her help in caring for her own baby. A health care aide whose long-time patient dies, Juanita decides to get away, hoping to live her fantasy of riding off in the sunset with hunky Blair Underwood, her literal dream man, who, even in her fantasies, wants something (money) from her. Instead, she ends up in Butte, Montana, with a host of quirky people who treat her like family. A pleasant little movie, but I know Alfre is better than this material. 3 cans.
36. Period. End of Sentence.* (2018) – This movie won the Oscar for documentary short subject this year. In India, menstruation carries a stigma that women have to face. When asked about it, men confessed they knew little and thought it involved “mostly women.” The women laugh nervously when asked about menstruation and they must use whatever cloth they can get their hands on when they have their periods. Even discussing the subject is taboo. Just getting electricity is problematic. So, when the citizens in a rural village learn how to make sanitary napkins, that machine and its product is a game changer. They start selling the pads, and it brings them freedom, confidence, independence and a convenience previously impossible. The things we take for granted are not always available for others, and it is easy to overlook that advances such as a simple sanitary napkin are not the norm in poor countries and among rural populations. Credit to the producers for recognizing the enormity of this development for the women in this small village. 3½ cans.
37. The Land of Steady Habits* (2018) – Sometimes when I start to watch a movie that I don’t like, I continue because I am sure it will get better. This one didn’t. Maybe if it had been called “The Land of Bad Habits” it would have seemed more logical. Anders (Ben Mendelsohn) and his wife Helene (Edie Falco) have split up, leaving her in the big house he cannot afford now that he has left his lucrative job in search of true happiness. Anders is morose, and nothing that happens in this movie will cheer him up. His son Preston is lazy and unengaged, his ex is living in the house with her new man, who is much wealthier than Anders. The son of a couple who are mutual friends of Anders and Helene is happy to share his drugs with the unhappy so-called adult in the group. Netflix describes this movie as “witty and emotional.” I describe it as dead on arrival. Feel free to skip this one. 1 can.
38. The Inventor* (2019) – Documentary director Alex Gibney takes on the story of Elizabeth Holmes, founder of now defunct med tech company Theranos. At 19, Stanford student Holmes had a dream of founding a company that could develop proprietary technology to perform hundreds of diagnostic tests using only a drop of blood culled from a finger stick. She dropped out of Stanford and launched a business that was more a “fake it til you make it” venture than a viable company because, despite her assurances, the company could not get the machines to work. She modeled herself after Steve Jobs, even adopting his iconic black turtlenecks, and her confidence and swagger were irresistible enough to attract hundreds of millions of dollars from respected venture capitalists. The privately-held firm eventually achieved a valuation of $9 billion, spinning tales of contracts with the armed forces and even persuading Drugstore giant Walgreens to install testing sites in its stores in Arizona. But inside the company, the people in the labs knew the technology was a long way from perfection. The Walgreens test sites in Arizona collected samples that had to be flown to Theranos headquarters in Palo Alto to be tested on what turned out to be machines from other companies instead of those being promoted as high tech wonders from Theranos. Holmes managed to dupe a lot of bigshots and it was really the workers in the labs, seeing the failure of her secret devices, who questioned her scheme until The Wall Street Journal came sniffing around. In 2017, she was charged with fraud and, unsurprisingly, pled not guilty. This blue-eyed woman, who never seemed to blink, was not going to blink in the face of federal charges. 4 cans and a ton of moxie.
39. Fyre* (2019) – How perfect to have watched this documentary right after “The inventor.” In both films, the main characters are full of vigor, conviction and hubris. When everyone else sees that their ideas won’t work – despite their incredible ability to sell the ideas and themselves – they persist, eventually duping people and committing fraud. In Fyre, Billy MacFarland, owner of a company aimed at rich millennials, decides to put together a modern-day Woodstock music festival, only his is aimed solely at the wealthy young people who believe his gorgeous promotional video. In that video, Billy and his cohorts get a dozen or so top models to go to the Bahamas and enjoy days of parties. The beaches, the water, the chance to party for 3 days and hear music again – as at Woodstock – is an easy sell. Actually delivering on the promise of luxury accommodations, private jets, etc., is way more than Billy and his team can deliver. Mansions on the beach? Try tents initially used for hurricane relief, stocked with soaking wet mattresses. No place to eat, few bathrooms, transportation in old school buses – not exactly what the wealthy folks expected or would tolerate. Yet Billy’s hustle in raising money might have done the trick if he had more time. And now he’s doing time in federal prison. Let there be a lesson here: Buyer beware. 4 cans.
40. Gloria Bell* (2019) – Julianne Moore is wonderful in this story of a modern woman in her 50s seeking fun and companionship. She is divorced and enjoys uninhibitedly dancing in clubs to 80s music, hoping to meet men in her age range. She has grown children who barely acknowledge her (she leaves them loving voicemail messages and then identifies herself with “this is your mother”). She lives in a small, noisy apartment that is invaded by a strange looking, hairless cat. She has a dead-end job that she is afraid of losing. She just can’t seem to get any traction on the road to happiness – though while driving there, she will be singing in the car. She meets a sad sack guy (John Turturro) with his own family issues and begins a relationship with him that suffers from fits and starts. I know this movie is supposed to be about a woman finding herself, but I found it somewhat depressing, albeit realistic. The joy that makes her glow in the beginning is largely absent by the end of the movie. I think we see a little more of Moore than necessary, if you get my drift, but she may well get another Oscar nomination for her acting. Great music and superbly used. 3½ cans.
41. Courage Under Fire (1996) – It looks like deceased Army Captain Karen Walden (Meg Ryan) is a lock to become the first woman to win a Medal of Honor for her bravery during the 1991 Gulf War. When Lieutenant Nathaniel Serling (Denzel Washington) is assigned to check her record to make sure she is worthy of such an honor, the task is considered not much more than a rubber-stamping. But Serling, whose own war record has a few blemishes that are being hushed up by his superiors, is determined to be certain of her suitability, despite the pressure he is getting from the Army. When he interviews the men in her command who survived the attack on her downed helicopter, he gets conflicting stories, and he wants the truth. Better known as the queen of romantic comedies, Ryan holds her own as one of the few women in combat who ever make it to a movie screen. Lou Diamond Phillips does a great job as one of the soldiers under her command, and a very young Matt Damon has a small but key role. Lots of suspense, lots of bombs and gunfire, and a lot to think about. 3½ cans.
42. The Greatest Showman* (2017) – Hugh Jackman himself qualifies for this title with his acting, singing and dancing prowess, all put to good use here in the role of P. T. Barnum. Barnum was a poor kid growing up, an outsider, but someone with a vision. He recruited a bunch of talented outsiders to create his renowned circus, which was loved by some people and dismissed by others as a collection of freaks. That criticism only drove him harder, even though it resulted in time away from the childhood sweetheart that he married (Michelle Williams) and his young daughters. He really wanted to show the world what he could do. Among the talented cast of this musical is Zac Efron, Zendaya and Keala Settle, a tiny woman with a huge voice who is the Bearded Lady. I couldn’t help thinking that this movie was like an old Judy Garland-Mickey Rooney spectacular, where they round up enough local singers and dancers to put on a show in somebody’s barn, so it struck me as cheesy. Maybe I would have enjoyed the spectacle of it all more if I had seen the movie on a big screen instead of on my 47-inch TV in the bedroom. But there is no denying the unifying force and creativity that Barnum demonstrates. And, after all, isn’t there a sucker born every minute? 3½ cans.
43. Auntie Mame (1958) – If you are going to see just one Rosalind Russell movie, make it this one. When New York socialite Mame Dennis becomes the guardian of her nephew Patrick, she is determined to raise him in what could best be described as an unconventional way. She is the life of every party for her collection of friends from the arts and literary communities, and when she sends Patrick to a school that is far from any PS Whatever in the city, she is looked on with contempt by the bank responsible for Patrick’s inheritance. Mame may be eccentric, but her devotion to Patrick is unquestionable. I adore this movie and cannot imagine anyone but Russell in the role. It is one of my all-time favorites. 4½ cans.
32. Free Solo* (2018) – I understand that men climb mountains because they are there, but I’ll never understand why someone would want to climb a mountain using just his hands and feet, with no safety equipment or anything else to assist him. This stunning movie shows climber Alex Honnold as he prepares to climb the intimidating El Capitan's 900-meter vertical rock face at Yosemite National Park, the first person to successfully complete this challenge solo. I watched this on TV but I am certain it would have been even more visually arresting if I had seen it on a big movie screen. Alex is a man accustomed to being on his own, and his venture in solo climbing – while it requires significant assistance from the team around him – perfectly suits his personality. This documentary beat out the movie on Mr. Rogers for this year’s Oscar and it could not be more visually different from the latter. However, both films reflect what humans with real conviction can do. 3½ cans.
33. Smokey & the Bandit (1977) – This oldie but goodie showcases Burt Reynolds at his best – a good-old boy, full of fun and mischief, who takes on a challenge to transport a truckload of beer and return within a defined number of hours. He is the Bandit, and he drives the hot car that serves as the lookout while his trucker buddy Cledus (Jerry Reed) handles hauling the Coors, all with aptly named Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) in hot pursuit. Along the way, he runs into (almost literally) fleeing bride Carrie (Sally Field), and soon she is in on the action. This is a silly but fun movie that developed into a franchise of sorts. Reynolds handles his role with a smile and a wink (including at least one directly into the camera) that lets us all know we are in for a good time. 3 cans.
34. Apollo 11* (2019) – Remarkable footage from NASA on the flight of the first flight to land safely on the moon makes this documentary extremely compelling. There is no narration; we see and hear actual footage and audio recorded at the time from a myriad of cameras that document the days leading up to the launch and the eventual landing and safe return of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from their exploration of the lunar surface – while Michael Collins circles around the moon and deftly redocks the space capsule with the lunar landing module. If science fiction is your preference, this movie probably isn’t for you because it isn’t spectacular enough. But if you like the real thing – the astronauts donning their space suits, the white-shirted engineers and space officials checking each system and giving the “go for launch” commands – then see this movie in a theatre. It is larger than life. 4 cans.
35. Juanita* (2019) – Considering the dramatic talents of star Alfre Woodard, this Netflix original movie did not measure up to the level I would expect. Juanita is a single other of grown children whom she loves but who cause her headaches. One son is in jail, the other is likely to join him, and her daughter expects her help in caring for her own baby. A health care aide whose long-time patient dies, Juanita decides to get away, hoping to live her fantasy of riding off in the sunset with hunky Blair Underwood, her literal dream man, who, even in her fantasies, wants something (money) from her. Instead, she ends up in Butte, Montana, with a host of quirky people who treat her like family. A pleasant little movie, but I know Alfre is better than this material. 3 cans.
36. Period. End of Sentence.* (2018) – This movie won the Oscar for documentary short subject this year. In India, menstruation carries a stigma that women have to face. When asked about it, men confessed they knew little and thought it involved “mostly women.” The women laugh nervously when asked about menstruation and they must use whatever cloth they can get their hands on when they have their periods. Even discussing the subject is taboo. Just getting electricity is problematic. So, when the citizens in a rural village learn how to make sanitary napkins, that machine and its product is a game changer. They start selling the pads, and it brings them freedom, confidence, independence and a convenience previously impossible. The things we take for granted are not always available for others, and it is easy to overlook that advances such as a simple sanitary napkin are not the norm in poor countries and among rural populations. Credit to the producers for recognizing the enormity of this development for the women in this small village. 3½ cans.
37. The Land of Steady Habits* (2018) – Sometimes when I start to watch a movie that I don’t like, I continue because I am sure it will get better. This one didn’t. Maybe if it had been called “The Land of Bad Habits” it would have seemed more logical. Anders (Ben Mendelsohn) and his wife Helene (Edie Falco) have split up, leaving her in the big house he cannot afford now that he has left his lucrative job in search of true happiness. Anders is morose, and nothing that happens in this movie will cheer him up. His son Preston is lazy and unengaged, his ex is living in the house with her new man, who is much wealthier than Anders. The son of a couple who are mutual friends of Anders and Helene is happy to share his drugs with the unhappy so-called adult in the group. Netflix describes this movie as “witty and emotional.” I describe it as dead on arrival. Feel free to skip this one. 1 can.
38. The Inventor* (2019) – Documentary director Alex Gibney takes on the story of Elizabeth Holmes, founder of now defunct med tech company Theranos. At 19, Stanford student Holmes had a dream of founding a company that could develop proprietary technology to perform hundreds of diagnostic tests using only a drop of blood culled from a finger stick. She dropped out of Stanford and launched a business that was more a “fake it til you make it” venture than a viable company because, despite her assurances, the company could not get the machines to work. She modeled herself after Steve Jobs, even adopting his iconic black turtlenecks, and her confidence and swagger were irresistible enough to attract hundreds of millions of dollars from respected venture capitalists. The privately-held firm eventually achieved a valuation of $9 billion, spinning tales of contracts with the armed forces and even persuading Drugstore giant Walgreens to install testing sites in its stores in Arizona. But inside the company, the people in the labs knew the technology was a long way from perfection. The Walgreens test sites in Arizona collected samples that had to be flown to Theranos headquarters in Palo Alto to be tested on what turned out to be machines from other companies instead of those being promoted as high tech wonders from Theranos. Holmes managed to dupe a lot of bigshots and it was really the workers in the labs, seeing the failure of her secret devices, who questioned her scheme until The Wall Street Journal came sniffing around. In 2017, she was charged with fraud and, unsurprisingly, pled not guilty. This blue-eyed woman, who never seemed to blink, was not going to blink in the face of federal charges. 4 cans and a ton of moxie.
39. Fyre* (2019) – How perfect to have watched this documentary right after “The inventor.” In both films, the main characters are full of vigor, conviction and hubris. When everyone else sees that their ideas won’t work – despite their incredible ability to sell the ideas and themselves – they persist, eventually duping people and committing fraud. In Fyre, Billy MacFarland, owner of a company aimed at rich millennials, decides to put together a modern-day Woodstock music festival, only his is aimed solely at the wealthy young people who believe his gorgeous promotional video. In that video, Billy and his cohorts get a dozen or so top models to go to the Bahamas and enjoy days of parties. The beaches, the water, the chance to party for 3 days and hear music again – as at Woodstock – is an easy sell. Actually delivering on the promise of luxury accommodations, private jets, etc., is way more than Billy and his team can deliver. Mansions on the beach? Try tents initially used for hurricane relief, stocked with soaking wet mattresses. No place to eat, few bathrooms, transportation in old school buses – not exactly what the wealthy folks expected or would tolerate. Yet Billy’s hustle in raising money might have done the trick if he had more time. And now he’s doing time in federal prison. Let there be a lesson here: Buyer beware. 4 cans.
40. Gloria Bell* (2019) – Julianne Moore is wonderful in this story of a modern woman in her 50s seeking fun and companionship. She is divorced and enjoys uninhibitedly dancing in clubs to 80s music, hoping to meet men in her age range. She has grown children who barely acknowledge her (she leaves them loving voicemail messages and then identifies herself with “this is your mother”). She lives in a small, noisy apartment that is invaded by a strange looking, hairless cat. She has a dead-end job that she is afraid of losing. She just can’t seem to get any traction on the road to happiness – though while driving there, she will be singing in the car. She meets a sad sack guy (John Turturro) with his own family issues and begins a relationship with him that suffers from fits and starts. I know this movie is supposed to be about a woman finding herself, but I found it somewhat depressing, albeit realistic. The joy that makes her glow in the beginning is largely absent by the end of the movie. I think we see a little more of Moore than necessary, if you get my drift, but she may well get another Oscar nomination for her acting. Great music and superbly used. 3½ cans.
41. Courage Under Fire (1996) – It looks like deceased Army Captain Karen Walden (Meg Ryan) is a lock to become the first woman to win a Medal of Honor for her bravery during the 1991 Gulf War. When Lieutenant Nathaniel Serling (Denzel Washington) is assigned to check her record to make sure she is worthy of such an honor, the task is considered not much more than a rubber-stamping. But Serling, whose own war record has a few blemishes that are being hushed up by his superiors, is determined to be certain of her suitability, despite the pressure he is getting from the Army. When he interviews the men in her command who survived the attack on her downed helicopter, he gets conflicting stories, and he wants the truth. Better known as the queen of romantic comedies, Ryan holds her own as one of the few women in combat who ever make it to a movie screen. Lou Diamond Phillips does a great job as one of the soldiers under her command, and a very young Matt Damon has a small but key role. Lots of suspense, lots of bombs and gunfire, and a lot to think about. 3½ cans.
42. The Greatest Showman* (2017) – Hugh Jackman himself qualifies for this title with his acting, singing and dancing prowess, all put to good use here in the role of P. T. Barnum. Barnum was a poor kid growing up, an outsider, but someone with a vision. He recruited a bunch of talented outsiders to create his renowned circus, which was loved by some people and dismissed by others as a collection of freaks. That criticism only drove him harder, even though it resulted in time away from the childhood sweetheart that he married (Michelle Williams) and his young daughters. He really wanted to show the world what he could do. Among the talented cast of this musical is Zac Efron, Zendaya and Keala Settle, a tiny woman with a huge voice who is the Bearded Lady. I couldn’t help thinking that this movie was like an old Judy Garland-Mickey Rooney spectacular, where they round up enough local singers and dancers to put on a show in somebody’s barn, so it struck me as cheesy. Maybe I would have enjoyed the spectacle of it all more if I had seen the movie on a big screen instead of on my 47-inch TV in the bedroom. But there is no denying the unifying force and creativity that Barnum demonstrates. And, after all, isn’t there a sucker born every minute? 3½ cans.
43. Auntie Mame (1958) – If you are going to see just one Rosalind Russell movie, make it this one. When New York socialite Mame Dennis becomes the guardian of her nephew Patrick, she is determined to raise him in what could best be described as an unconventional way. She is the life of every party for her collection of friends from the arts and literary communities, and when she sends Patrick to a school that is far from any PS Whatever in the city, she is looked on with contempt by the bank responsible for Patrick’s inheritance. Mame may be eccentric, but her devotion to Patrick is unquestionable. I adore this movie and cannot imagine anyone but Russell in the role. It is one of my all-time favorites. 4½ cans.
Friday, March 15, 2019
March Musings
March Madness began for me with a trip to Indianapolis to see my beloved Rutgers Women’s basketball team play in the BIG 10 Basketball Tournament in early March. My fellow fan friends and I saw nine games before Rutgers finally played in the quarterfinals, where they beat Purdue. Then they lost the next night to the eventual champs, Iowa, in a spirited game. In all, we saw 13 women’s games in five days, and, if that weren’t enough, about two dozen of us got tickets to see the Rutgers Men’s team play Indiana in nearby Bloomington. I’m resting up now, eagerly awaiting news of the NCAA Tournament – “The Big Dance” – and hope to follow my team as they play on. Fourteen games in five days really borders on MADNESS!
You never realize how many clocks you have in the house until you have to spring ahead or fall back!
There is nothing that makes me happier at the supermarket than getting a good parking space where I can “pull through” so I don’t have to back up the car to leave. Or when I can find one of those little carts. I don’t need a huge carriage, and besides, I can’t even reach to the bottom to grab my purchases and put them on the conveyer belt. It really is the little things.
Is it just me or has this been a long, cold, dreary winter? I can’t wait until the real spring is here and I can relish the fresh air, longer days and getting out without worrying about cold, snow and ice.
You know I love my Alexa (Amazon’s Echo device), but, considering our friendship, I think she could be a little more forthcoming. For instance, when I ask her for the weather report, she tells me the temperature and whether there will be sunshine, and she lets me know if there is a storm warning. But unless I ask, she doesn’t mention snow. Then she hesitates, informing me that there is a “possibility” of snow, really hedging her bets, and failing to forecast snowfall amounts unless I inquire. I think she should issue a warning that is more like this: “I put a list together of your staples and I’m telling you to RUN to the store and buy up all the milk and bread. It’s gonna be a bad one.” She could go a step further and offer the weather as soon as I walk in or when I am ready to walk out the door, rather than waiting until I ask – which, she should know by now, is our main topic of conversation. I get by with a little help from my friends.
Cage fighting is considered a sport. Two people beating the crap out of each other for money gets airtime on ESPN, alongside football, baseball, etc. There’s a profession no one aspired to when I was growing up.
Speaking of which, who decides at a young age to be an “influencer?” Young kids manage to acquire a big following on social media by endorsing certain brands of makeup, clothing, etc., that reflects their own lifestyle (thank you, Gwyneth Paltrow, for that one), and the companies pay them for their “influence.” On that basis, Bumble Bee owes me a fortune, because I have been buying and recommending their tuna fish for decades! I guess I’m just not influential enough.
Sure, it is WRONG for rich and famous people to commit fraud and pay bribes to get their kids into colleges, but the US has enough resources to deploy 300 FBI agents and others to investigate this scam? The rich have gotten their kids into prestigious schools for decades without meeting the necessary criteria, it seems to me. Has anyone checked out how the president ended up at Penn? How George Bush got into Yale? Yes, it is a crime and those who gamed the system should pay, but while there are more pressing problems beyond the rich being different, shouldn’t our resources be used to address mass killings, gun violence, domestic violence and other crimes where people actually die rather than fail to attend a college class or get admitted to college when they are not actually members of the crew team?
Dear Movie Pass: When I signed up, my purpose was to be able to watch an unlimited number of movies each month, which is what you advertised. Subscribe for a year and see a movie a day if you wish! But then you changed the rules. First, you limited the number, and then you selected which movies I could see. Now the application seldom works, so I cannot even get in to see the movies you are promoting. Instead, you have offered me bargains on wine and now you are pushing a meal delivery service. I predict Movie Pass will be out of business soon, since the company cannot manage to stay focused on the mission on which it was founded. Keep your wine and meals and let me see movies! I am not renewing my annual subscription. What a disappointment you are.
Everyone likes a good sale, but “buy one, get one half off” is NOT a good sale, in my opinion. If I buy one watch, why would I need another at half off? You are actually getting a 25% discount if you buy two of the same items, but if you only need one, you are paying more for something you really don’t need. Just give me the sale, not the package deal.
I get my nails done often, and while I like the way they look, going to the nail salon is not my favorite thing to do. Just selecting the color for my hands or feet is stressful. Are my nails long enough for a darker or brighter color, or should I go light? Should I try to match an outfit, a season? Gel or regular? Gel lasts MUCH longer, costs more, but it something I can’t mess up on the way home from the salon. (I can ruin a regular manicure just putting on my seatbelt.) And a regular manicure takes FOREVER to dry, where a gel manicure requires you to put your hands in and out of those ultraviolet light contraptions, the signals for which by the nail tech are just a subtle little nod of the head or wave of the hand. The last time I went for a manicure I took a picture of the polish so I could remember the name of the color and its number. This natural beauty stuff is complicated!
You never realize how many clocks you have in the house until you have to spring ahead or fall back!
There is nothing that makes me happier at the supermarket than getting a good parking space where I can “pull through” so I don’t have to back up the car to leave. Or when I can find one of those little carts. I don’t need a huge carriage, and besides, I can’t even reach to the bottom to grab my purchases and put them on the conveyer belt. It really is the little things.
Is it just me or has this been a long, cold, dreary winter? I can’t wait until the real spring is here and I can relish the fresh air, longer days and getting out without worrying about cold, snow and ice.
You know I love my Alexa (Amazon’s Echo device), but, considering our friendship, I think she could be a little more forthcoming. For instance, when I ask her for the weather report, she tells me the temperature and whether there will be sunshine, and she lets me know if there is a storm warning. But unless I ask, she doesn’t mention snow. Then she hesitates, informing me that there is a “possibility” of snow, really hedging her bets, and failing to forecast snowfall amounts unless I inquire. I think she should issue a warning that is more like this: “I put a list together of your staples and I’m telling you to RUN to the store and buy up all the milk and bread. It’s gonna be a bad one.” She could go a step further and offer the weather as soon as I walk in or when I am ready to walk out the door, rather than waiting until I ask – which, she should know by now, is our main topic of conversation. I get by with a little help from my friends.
Cage fighting is considered a sport. Two people beating the crap out of each other for money gets airtime on ESPN, alongside football, baseball, etc. There’s a profession no one aspired to when I was growing up.
Speaking of which, who decides at a young age to be an “influencer?” Young kids manage to acquire a big following on social media by endorsing certain brands of makeup, clothing, etc., that reflects their own lifestyle (thank you, Gwyneth Paltrow, for that one), and the companies pay them for their “influence.” On that basis, Bumble Bee owes me a fortune, because I have been buying and recommending their tuna fish for decades! I guess I’m just not influential enough.
Sure, it is WRONG for rich and famous people to commit fraud and pay bribes to get their kids into colleges, but the US has enough resources to deploy 300 FBI agents and others to investigate this scam? The rich have gotten their kids into prestigious schools for decades without meeting the necessary criteria, it seems to me. Has anyone checked out how the president ended up at Penn? How George Bush got into Yale? Yes, it is a crime and those who gamed the system should pay, but while there are more pressing problems beyond the rich being different, shouldn’t our resources be used to address mass killings, gun violence, domestic violence and other crimes where people actually die rather than fail to attend a college class or get admitted to college when they are not actually members of the crew team?
Dear Movie Pass: When I signed up, my purpose was to be able to watch an unlimited number of movies each month, which is what you advertised. Subscribe for a year and see a movie a day if you wish! But then you changed the rules. First, you limited the number, and then you selected which movies I could see. Now the application seldom works, so I cannot even get in to see the movies you are promoting. Instead, you have offered me bargains on wine and now you are pushing a meal delivery service. I predict Movie Pass will be out of business soon, since the company cannot manage to stay focused on the mission on which it was founded. Keep your wine and meals and let me see movies! I am not renewing my annual subscription. What a disappointment you are.
Everyone likes a good sale, but “buy one, get one half off” is NOT a good sale, in my opinion. If I buy one watch, why would I need another at half off? You are actually getting a 25% discount if you buy two of the same items, but if you only need one, you are paying more for something you really don’t need. Just give me the sale, not the package deal.
I get my nails done often, and while I like the way they look, going to the nail salon is not my favorite thing to do. Just selecting the color for my hands or feet is stressful. Are my nails long enough for a darker or brighter color, or should I go light? Should I try to match an outfit, a season? Gel or regular? Gel lasts MUCH longer, costs more, but it something I can’t mess up on the way home from the salon. (I can ruin a regular manicure just putting on my seatbelt.) And a regular manicure takes FOREVER to dry, where a gel manicure requires you to put your hands in and out of those ultraviolet light contraptions, the signals for which by the nail tech are just a subtle little nod of the head or wave of the hand. The last time I went for a manicure I took a picture of the polish so I could remember the name of the color and its number. This natural beauty stuff is complicated!
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