Can someone explain why we still continue to price gas to the tenth of a cent? What is the point of that?
Who has a better job than Jimmy Buffett? He shows up for work barefoot, wearing whatever suits his mood (but no SUITS!), he can be late and no one will complain, and when he arrives on stage, the audience explodes into cheers. Who among us goes to work and gets that kind of reception? It’s a nice gig if you can get it.
The ladies of “The Golden Girls” must have had enormous closets to store all of those clothes they wore on the show. Just the shoulder pads could take up a closet of their own!
One thing I can guarantee you is that the hotter and more humid the weather, the colder it will be in ShopRite. Today as I wandered around the store in my denim jacket, I was amazed at how many people were wearing tank tops and shorts. I was freezing, and when I went to buy frozen vegetables, I thought my arm would snap off from the chill!
I am equally sure of this: The colder the weather, the more likely I am to see someone in ShopRite wearing shorts. I don’t get it.
You know you are watching your weight when you go for an after-dinner walk instead of an after-dinner mint.
I admire those women who can wear a sweater draped over their shoulders without having it slide off. I can’t even keep bra straps securely placed on my shoulders. That look is both classy and classic (not the bra one…)
I love Frank Sinatra, but the older he got, the more extraneous lyrics he would throw into a song. I think that was so he could speak the words and not have to hold the notes, which is sad to hear in the older singers.
I would like to thank the inventor of the stapler. Great idea.
Is it just me or do you feel that the staff at the eye doctor’s office is trying to trick you with those questions? You know, when put those lenses in front of you and ask, “Which is better, one or two?” I always feel like they aren’t actually changing anything between one and two but just waiting to see if I will say that I see a difference, and I’m worried that I will give the wrong answer. Maybe it should have been #1? Does that make sense if I already chose #2? And then they throw it #3? Stop! Personally, I found taking the SATs was less nerve-wracking.
Enough with the surveys! I just got a request to rate my recent visit to ShopRite. I went, I bought food and light bulbs, I went home. Why should I bother to “rate” it? Enough!
I just caught myself rotating the dinner plates in the cabinets, taking the ones on the bottom and putting them on top of the ones that I just took out of the dishwasher. I guess I was thinking that they would wear more evenly this way???
At my most recent Book Club meeting, we discussed “The Woman in the Window,” a suspenseful mystery similar to “Rear Window.” The discussion included the existence of the so-called “red herring” and how many of us fall for these false clues routinely (raising my hand here). I’m not sure why we call them red herrings, and I don’t eat herring, but I sure do fall for them and I always have. I first realized this trait (or shortcoming) in myself while watching the old TV series “Mission Impossible” years ago. The writers lead you down a path that you are sure points directly at the killer, but, then, NO! It’s not him/her, so we go down the next alley, equally certain THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE and NO, it is not. I don’t know about you, but I’m ALWAYS FALL for these red herrings! They sure never fooled “Colombo!”
I did not realize how many cleaning products I had stashed under my kitchen sink until I had to remove everything so the plumber could repair the garbage disposal and unclog the drain. I was amazed/appalled at both the variety and quantity of cleaners, polishes, glass products, cleansers, etc., tucked away. Judging by the quantity alone, you would think that I either have the cleanest house in town or the dirtiest (hence the need for so many products). Some bottles were so full that I couldn’t even combine two of the same products into one container. And, of course, I am NOT going to ditch anything I can use, so I bought a bunch of plastic bins, sorted everything out, cleaned the cabinet and placed all of the bins neatly under the sink. Now I know what I have and where it is, even if I have to wonder WHY I thought I needed 4 bottles of floor cleaner. I know for sure that no package of Fantastik, Scrubbing Bubbles, Windex or any of the 5 varieties of granite cleaners/sealers/polishes will be on my shopping list for at least the next year! And the cabinet under the sink hasn’t looked this good since I moved in three years – or 30 bottles – ago!
When did greeting cards get so expensive? There was a time when I would slip money inside a card as a gift. Now the card is more valuable than the money, and, therefore, the card IS the gift. Listen, friends, I love you, but do I love you for $7.95? I’ll have to think about that one.
What happens to men as they age? Their eyebrows stage some sort of revolt, growing like an untrimmed hedge, usually in white, matching none of the pictures of them at any other stage of life.
The first person who can figure out a way to fasten a seatbelt without messing up a manicure will get my vote for the Nobel Prize. Not that I have a vote, and not that there IS a Nobel Prize for nails.
I didn’t know whether to be happy or offended when the guy at the nail salon told me he accidently charged me the regular rate for a pedicure instead of the senior rate, which I didn’t know existed and therefore did not request. So I saved $2, but my pride is just a little wounded…
And speaking of nails, there must be a law that every strip mall MUST have a nail salon. It used to be that the only people I would see getting a manicure were the women in that Palmolive commercial with Madge the manicurist. Now, there are women, men, teenagers and little girls getting their nails done. Gone are the days when Sylvia Gordon would haul out the red polish and get herself all dolled up for a night out at the JCC Hootenanny!
And one LAST comment about the nail salon – I always bring my own polish, just so I have it available for touch-ups. I have had this same bottle for at least 15 years. It is a bottomless pit of polish. I am truly amazed at its longevity!
I have some strange attachment to songs by Gary Lewis and the Playboys. Remember “This Diamond Ring?” How about “Just My Style,” “Save Your Heart for Me,” “Everybody Loves a Clown” (a reference, I suspect, to his father, comedian Jerry Lewis) and “Count Me In?” When a Gary Lewis and the Playboys tune comes on the oldies station on the radio, I pay rapt attention. Yet I never hear anyone say they like this guy and his group or mention any of his tunes. Just another strange Tina thing, I guess.
What is more annoying than seeing the car ahead of you in the next lane drive for MILES with a turn signal on? Is he moving over or not? Do I need to leave him space until I know for sure? And how is it that he doesn’t hear or see the flashing signal? Equally annoying are the people who speed ahead in the adjacent lane before a merge into your lane and then expect you to let them in. In my quest to avoid any possibility of road rage, I give a merging cars plenty of leeway, but the driver keeps going, failing to do the merge until his lane vanishes, when he comes almost crashing into my lane. And then there are the people who just don’t bother to signal at all to let you know they want to get into your lane. People, let’s be careful out there.
And speaking of driving leads me into parking, specifically parking decks, which I abhor. You circle round and round in your quest to find a spot, which is often so tight that you can barely open your door. Once I was so crammed, I had to get in on the passenger side and climb over the center console to the driver’s seat. Not a pretty sight! I can never figure out how the deck is designed so that the up traffic goes up only and down goes down. Where is the up traffic when you are on the down side? I need some kind of diagram.
As a movie fan, I find it hard to see anything with the “Weinstein Company” logo on it (out of business now, but I’m talking about older movies here) without cringing, just thinking about that vile man and how he sexually abused scores of women. Disgusting. And honestly, I rarely pay to see a Woody Allen movie in the theaters anymore. I don’t believe is innocence for a minute. But I do miss “Annie Hall.”
When did the use of the term “You’re welcome” go out of style? Instead, the response to a simple “Thank you” has become “No problem.” I really didn’t think it would be a problem for the waiter to bring my order, so when he serves me and I thank him, I don’t expect the response to be that it was no problem. After all, that’s his job, right? And apparently it is not a problem for people to hold the door for me, to hand me something I can’t reach (which is MY problem), etc. I’m just saying “thank you,” and the proper response is “You’re welcome.” And you are.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Tina's June 2018 Movies
What better way to beat the summer heat than to take in a movie, either in the comfort of your own home or in a cool theater? Here's what I watched in June. Movies marked with an asterisk are new ones to me, and all are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, five being the top score. No fives this month! Numbering picks up from previous months.
61. On Chesil Beach* (2018) – Just married couple Edward and Florence (Billy Howle and Saoirse Ronan) approach their wedding night with great trepidation. Neither has had experience in love-making, and neither seems particularly eager to get things going. She has been reading sex manuals to know what to expect, and she isn’t encouraged by what she has read. Both have family issues that weigh in on their relationship. His mother is a free-spirited artist who was in an accident that left her with some brain damage and the propensity to run around the house naked. She is an accomplished violinist with a very strict father who intimidates her, so their opposite sex role models are of no help. The action (if you can call it that) takes place in 1962, so it is safe to say times were a bit more chaste. They stall around through dinner, and when the big moment is about to begin, he can’t even unzip her dress. This couple seems so in love, yet distant and cold with each other. Can love overcome such reluctance and lack of intimacy? 3½ cans.
62. Adrift* (2018) – Young couple Tammy (Shailene Woodley) and Richard (Sam Caflin) set sail across the Pacific to the US. He is an experienced sailor and in his 30s; she isn’t exactly a novice, but at 23, she’s much less familiar with guiding a boat for thousands of miles. When a massive hurricane hits the area and practically capsizes their boat, Tammy wakes up and realizes Richard is gone, washed overboard. She somehow spots him in the ocean and determinedly swims out to rescue him and haul his injured body back on board. For the next 41 days, Tammy is forced to find a way for them to survive without much food or water (she does a very happy dance when it rains and she can capture fresh water). Tammy is resourceful, and – let’s face it – she has nothing to lose. She either saves the day or dies trying. The hurricane scenes are harrowing, loud and wild. There isn’t an abundance of dialog and let’s just say the costume changes are minimal. Will they get to Hawaii? Will a ship rescue them at sea? Or will the elements, the damaged boat, the injuries and lack of sustenance get them in the end? All I know is to cross sailing off my list of leisure activities. 4 cans.
63. John McCain: For Whom the Bell Tolls* (2018) – This HBO documentary about Senator John McCain solidifies McCain’s status as a true American hero. He not only survived five years in captivity in Vietnam as a Navy pilot, he survived 30 years in the Senate. According to this bio, McCain was one of the few politicians who stayed true to his beliefs – although he admits to making mistakes in his political career, the most serious one of which was naming Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate in the 2008 Presidential election that he ultimately lost to Barack Obama. I was most impressed by his admissions and his graciousness and generosity toward his rival in defending him as a fine man. So is McCain. 3½ cans.
64. Ocean’s 8* (2018) – This clever caper movie picks up from the Ocean franchise, but this time with an all-female cast, led by Sandra Bullock as Debbie Ocean, sister of the late Danny Ocean. Just released from prison after a 5½ year term, Debbie has had plenty of time to plan her next job and she promptly rounds up her former partner-in-crime (Cate Blanchette) to pull off a huge and complex plan to steal a $150 million necklace at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala. She gets a fashion designer (Helena Bonham Carter) to work with a megastar actress (Anne Hathaway) and recruits a tech-savvy Rihanna, jeweler Mindy Kaling and a housewife/fence (Sarah Paulsen) to the team. You have to watch closely to see the intricacies of their movements and to follow the plot. I like an action movie without crazy car chases and killings, and this one delivers. Just under 4 cans but more than 3½.
65. Under the Tuscan Sun (2003) – Diane Lane is Frances, a writer devastated by her cheating husband and subsequent divorce, who leaves San Francisco for an Italian getaway. She impulsively buys a broken down mansion, hires workers to renovate it and gets quickly acclimated to the culture in her small town outside Florence. Lane shines as Frances begins to come out of her shell, relax and enjoy her life. Sandra Oh plays her best buddy, who unexpectedly shows up and fits right into the new life. This movie is about relationships and family, however we choose to define them. 3½ cans (the scenery alone merits a 4).
66. Café Society* (2016) – I actually started boycotting Woody Allen movies years ago because of the rumors about his private life. I should have stuck with the boycott and avoided this lame Allen creation. Jesse Eisenberg, with the worst posture this side of Quasimodo (and at least he had a hump as his excuse), plays a nebbishy guy (a Woody Allen staple) who goes to Hollywood in the 30s to get a job with his bigshot uncle (Steve Carrell), an agent. He meets Vonnie (Kristen Stewart), the girl of his dreams. Too bad she is in love with his uncle. Even though he meets another Vonnie (Blake Lively), his love for the original lives on. Neither the story nor the acting was distinguished here, and with the exception of one great line, the movie is unmemorable. The line, you say? “Live every day like it’s your last because one day you’ll be right.” 4 cans for that line, 2 cans for the movie.
67. David Cassidy – The Last Session* (2018) – No one was hotter than pop star and teen idol David Cassidy in the early 1970s. His iconic TV show, “The Partridge Family,” thrust the young man into teenybopper heaven, his face on magazine covers and lunchboxes, his songs, such as “I Think I Love You,” playing on AM radio nationwide, his legions of fans swarming the stage at his sold-out concerts. The fledgling actor and musician chafed under the pressure of being a teen idol, touring and being Keith Partridge. He wanted to be taken seriously for his music. His relationship with his father – actor Jack Cassidy – only became more complicated as the fame of the son surpassed that of the father. In this TV documentary, an aging David Cassidy, sick, weary, in constant pain and initially diagnosed with dementia, tries to put together an album of songs his father taught him. I don’t want to give away the entire story, but it is sad to see the engaging and affable Cassidy in his final days. He really was more than a musical lightweight, and that smile was infectious. I admit I still sing along to “I Think I Love You” whenever I hear it on the radio. 3½ cans.
68. The Rise and Fall of Penn Station* (2014) – This PBS documentary (on Amazon Prime) traces the design and building of New York’s Penn Station by the Pennsylvania Railroad Company in 1910. The private company constructed the neoclassical building as the last part of a massive project to link the rest of the country (specifically New Jersey) to the Manhattan by designing and building tunnels under the Hudson and East Rivers. The expansion of the suburbs and tremendous economic growth throughout the area was the result of this masterful feat of engineering and architecture. The majestic building proudly stood for more than 50 years, until the company that owned the public space succumbed to the realities of business and tore it down to build a new Penn Station and sell the air rights above it to Madison Square Garden, which opened in 1961. Soon afterwards, New York City wisely established a Landmark Commission to assure the protection of many of the special spaces that make New York a unique city, including the beloved Grand Central Station. This movie shows the arduous task of burrowing beneath the rivers to build the tunnels from both the Manhattan and New York sides and the design and construction of the landmark train station. When joined together, the tunnels were within a 1/16” of each other, a marvel of 1910 engineering. 3½ cans.
69. The Mountain Between Us* (2017) – You know you’re having a REALLY bad day when the airlines cancel your flight the day before your wedding because of an impending storm, so you and a complete stranger charter a plane with a flaky pilot who doesn’t file a flight plan and then proceeds to have a stroke and crashes the plane into a mountain. And it gets worse. Kate Winslett is a photographer heading home to her wedding and Idris Elba is a doctor scheduled to operate on a young boy when they find themselves injured and alone (except for the pilot’s dog) on a mountain with no civilization in sight. Generally, I like a good story of people overcoming impossible odds who triumph over adversity (see “Cast Away,” “Apollo 13,” and the more recent “Adrift,” among others), but this story was just too unbelievable. The couple is left with virtually no food, yet neither they nor the dog starve, and the good doctor is always able to start a fire (one of which was frighteningly close to the airplane, in my opinion). She can barely walk due to her injuries, and yet…Well, see the movie. Or don’t. 3 cans, some for the breathtaking scenery.
70. Brain on Fire* (2016) – Susannah (Chloe Grace Moritz) plays a young writer for a New York newspaper who suddenly starts missing deadlines, looking confused and hearing voices. It isn’t a drug problem and it is getting worse. This movie – based on a real story – is a medical mystery. Why is Susannah manic one minute and catatonic the next? What is causing her seizures? Sometimes the love of those around you just isn’t enough to ease your pain. Warm and moving, it is also confounding and scary for the young woman and her family, who wonder if they are losing her forever. 3 cans.
71. Losing in Love* (2016) – Ronny (Marty Papazian, who also wrote and directed the film) is a low-key, sad-sack kind of guy, a writer who once wrote a big commercial but has been looking for a breakthrough ever since. Recently released from prison, Ronny is in a prison of his own, unable to truly connect with a woman and living a lonely existence. He meets a waitress (Marina Benedict), at the diner in Los Angeles where he goes to write during the day and is immediately smitten – although you only know this because we can hear his thoughts. This is a love story, and so is what Ronny is writing, as he and the waitress become friends and more reliant on each other. This is also a sad story, and one where all of the characters have trouble dealing with relationships and society. A little slow-moving, but I’ll give it 3½ cans for its warmth.
72. Runaway Jury (2003) – This legal tale is from prolific author John Grisham and tackles a key aspect of any trial – the jury. John Cusack is Nicholas Easter, an average guy in his 20s who is called for jury duty in a case against a large gun manufacturer who lawyer Dustin Hoffman claims is responsible for the shooting death of his client’s husband. Going up against him in court is Bruce Davison, but he is actually controlled by jury consultant Gene Hackman and his team of investigators, aided by modern technology that traces every aspect of a juror or potential juror’s life to assure they will be inclined to support the defendant. But this isn’t the story of 12 angry men. Someone on the inside is attempting to sway the jurors and is asking for big bucks to deliver the verdict. How and why provide the intrigue here. The story is a contemporary one, as the lawyers either support the right to bear arms and blame the shooter for the man’s death or the claim by the plaintiff that the manufacturer makes it too easy to buy their products. Worth watching again after a long absence. 4 cans.
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Let's Get Physical
It is amazing that we are still here.
Those of us of a certain age (ahem) managed to survive a childhood without seatbelts or car seats, warnings on drug packages and, for the most part, air conditioning. If you had questions about your health, you asked the kindly doctor or looked up your presumed malady in the 50s version of the Internet, the Encyclopedia Britannica (available at your local library). We didn’t exercise beyond the requirements of gym class, which was more focused on making sure we had washed and ironed our “gym suits” than on our health or well-being. We didn’t know about healthy eating. Even Weight Watchers didn’t start until I was a teenager.
Today things are vastly different. People ride all around the parking lot looking for a good spot outside the gym so they can go inside and ride a bike, lift weights or swim. Outside, in all kinds of weather, you’ll find people walking or running their way to good health.
There are all kinds of rules and regulations that are supposed to keep us safe and healthy. If you have, suspect or merely dread a disease or condition, you can look it up on the internet and get a ton of sometimes useful information that may either help or lead you to a self-diagnosis that is way off-base. You can read the symptoms of something and decide you have it even when that is impossible (check out the symptoms of prostate problems sometime, ladies).
Despite this abundance of information, it is still best to go to the doctor for preventive maintenance or to “rule out” what you think may be malaria, whooping cough or something that may require the use of leeches.
Now my health insurer, United Health Care, even offers an incentive to be checked. I had my regular eye doctor appointment and they sent me a $25 gift card for Amazon (which I promptly spent by buying a new water filter for my refrigerator; how exciting is that?). When I go to see the gynecologist, I get another $25, and my physical earned me 50 bucks.
Given what I had to do to get my physical, it was money well earned.
I have been going to the same primary care physician for years. I’m sure they have a full set of my health records in their computer system. In fact, when I checked in, the person at the desk retrieved a file that was larger than the Manhattan phone book. Nevertheless, I was required to stop at the office in advance to pick up forms to complete and return on the day of my physical.
First, could the spacing be ANY smaller on the form? Do you know how hard it is to write “right hemicolectomy” in that tiny space?
Second, the questions they ask – which should be in my file already – were tougher than the SATs.
How am I supposed to know how old I was when I had the measles? I’m 67 now, and I know it wasn’t recent. What if I say I was 6? Can anyone corroborate that? What happens if I was really 8? Who would know? Does it matter? Couldn’t a simple YES or NO have been checked off?
Do I have spots in front of my eyes? Well, I have wet macular degeneration, but there is no box to check off for that, so I did say I see spots before my eyes. Besides, I couldn’t figure out where to write that in. Is it a disease or a condition? What, am I supposed to be a doctor to define it?
Do I have trouble sleeping? Everyone my age has trouble sleeping. We wake up to use the bathroom and can’t get back to sleep. Oops, that’s a different question: “Night time urination? How often?”
Do I snore (which is listed under the “Illnesses” section)? Well, I live alone, so that’s a tough one. The last time I had to fill out this form, I did a test. I was staying with friends and kept the bedroom door open all night. When they got up to use the bathroom (see above question on nighttime urination), they stood outside my bedroom door and listened. How creepy does THAT sound? Apparently I don’t snore, or at least I didn’t that night.
Do I have pains in my joints, my back, my head? Of course! Sometimes I’m out for a walk and suddenly my ankle hurts for no reason. I walk it off and then I’m fine. Raise your hand if this happens to you, too.
And then there are the questions about depression, crying, lack of energy (see “trouble sleeping”) decreased interest in daily activities, thoughts of suicide, etc. If you really suffer from these things, how likely is it that you will check off the tiny boxes on this form?
How about drug use? Do you want to say yes to the question, “Have you ever taken drugs for other than medicinal purposes?” And then they leave you a tiny bit of space to explain the details of your drug habit. I’m just glad they don’t ask about addictions to chocolate and other food groups!
At least I can breeze through the sections about smoking (“NEVER” I write down, proudly) and drinking (“Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?” No, they just annoy me when they are stupid.).
Are you overweight? Seriously, did you not just weigh and measure me? Come on – can’t you see that for yourself? It might be interesting to see some people’s responses to that question, but I dejectedly checked the “Yes” box.
The previous question appears in close proximity to the question about having weight loss. I’m working on that, but see previous question.
And then we get to the hospitalizations section of the questionnaire. My sister has had enough surgeries that she doesn’t have room to list them on her form. You have to fill out the form and say why you were operated on. I live in fear that someday I will forget the term “right hemicolectomy,” which is the official name for the procedure used to treat my colon cancer in 2000.
The personal section for women is always a fun exercise.
At what age was the onset of menstruation? When was your last period? At this age, memory is more of an issue than remembering the last time I needed to buy tampons, let’s face it. Is any of this going to explain why my shoulder hurts?
I used to be able to fill out these forms so fast, simply checking the “No” column for virtually every illness, disease and condition. Now, like most of us, I have to stop and think, check my files (which do not extend back to when I had the measles) and, in some cases, give it my best guess.
The diagnosis here should be “normal for a woman of her age.”
Then it is on to the doctor's office with the forms.
After going through the usual preliminaries with the nurse – height (proudly 5’1”) and weight (let’s move along here), blood pressure, temperature (I was only 98.5, which shows how cool I am, right?) – we get more serious with the EKG, where I had sticky things affixed to my body at various places and then a mass of wires hooked me up to a machine to check my heart (mine was warm and kind and beating regularly), followed by the list of shots I was missing. It was 10 years since my last tetanus shot and time for a pneumonia injection, too.
Then the doctor showed up. Assuming that I would be taken to task for a weight gain since my last physical, I was ready with a defense as well as ready to attest to my renewed dedication to Weight Watchers. I also launched a distraction by providing a list of ailments I wanted her to check (among others: The little lump on my right shin – a cyst, she said, apply warm compresses if it bothers you; it doesn’t). We discussed my aching shoulder (I will be starting my shoulder exercises any day now, I vowed) and my trigger finger (better since my last cortisone injection and not serious enough for surgery, in my own expert opinion). So my strategy worked and she bypassed my weight issue, which was a relief but nonetheless still an issue. I need to see a dermatologist for a routine exam, so she recommended a replacement for the one I was using because she retired. I'm at the age when my doctors are all younger than I am. That's not a bad thing since who wants to go to a doddering old doctor?
I got off easy. Everything checked out. I have a few follow-ups and tests to undergo, and then there is my annual gynecology appointment along with my mammogram, and she will send my bloodwork to the many medical people who are waiting eagerly for the results.
And no one ever asked me whether or when I had the measles. Phew!
Those of us of a certain age (ahem) managed to survive a childhood without seatbelts or car seats, warnings on drug packages and, for the most part, air conditioning. If you had questions about your health, you asked the kindly doctor or looked up your presumed malady in the 50s version of the Internet, the Encyclopedia Britannica (available at your local library). We didn’t exercise beyond the requirements of gym class, which was more focused on making sure we had washed and ironed our “gym suits” than on our health or well-being. We didn’t know about healthy eating. Even Weight Watchers didn’t start until I was a teenager.
Today things are vastly different. People ride all around the parking lot looking for a good spot outside the gym so they can go inside and ride a bike, lift weights or swim. Outside, in all kinds of weather, you’ll find people walking or running their way to good health.
There are all kinds of rules and regulations that are supposed to keep us safe and healthy. If you have, suspect or merely dread a disease or condition, you can look it up on the internet and get a ton of sometimes useful information that may either help or lead you to a self-diagnosis that is way off-base. You can read the symptoms of something and decide you have it even when that is impossible (check out the symptoms of prostate problems sometime, ladies).
Despite this abundance of information, it is still best to go to the doctor for preventive maintenance or to “rule out” what you think may be malaria, whooping cough or something that may require the use of leeches.
Now my health insurer, United Health Care, even offers an incentive to be checked. I had my regular eye doctor appointment and they sent me a $25 gift card for Amazon (which I promptly spent by buying a new water filter for my refrigerator; how exciting is that?). When I go to see the gynecologist, I get another $25, and my physical earned me 50 bucks.
Given what I had to do to get my physical, it was money well earned.
I have been going to the same primary care physician for years. I’m sure they have a full set of my health records in their computer system. In fact, when I checked in, the person at the desk retrieved a file that was larger than the Manhattan phone book. Nevertheless, I was required to stop at the office in advance to pick up forms to complete and return on the day of my physical.
First, could the spacing be ANY smaller on the form? Do you know how hard it is to write “right hemicolectomy” in that tiny space?
Second, the questions they ask – which should be in my file already – were tougher than the SATs.
How am I supposed to know how old I was when I had the measles? I’m 67 now, and I know it wasn’t recent. What if I say I was 6? Can anyone corroborate that? What happens if I was really 8? Who would know? Does it matter? Couldn’t a simple YES or NO have been checked off?
Do I have spots in front of my eyes? Well, I have wet macular degeneration, but there is no box to check off for that, so I did say I see spots before my eyes. Besides, I couldn’t figure out where to write that in. Is it a disease or a condition? What, am I supposed to be a doctor to define it?
Do I have trouble sleeping? Everyone my age has trouble sleeping. We wake up to use the bathroom and can’t get back to sleep. Oops, that’s a different question: “Night time urination? How often?”
Do I snore (which is listed under the “Illnesses” section)? Well, I live alone, so that’s a tough one. The last time I had to fill out this form, I did a test. I was staying with friends and kept the bedroom door open all night. When they got up to use the bathroom (see above question on nighttime urination), they stood outside my bedroom door and listened. How creepy does THAT sound? Apparently I don’t snore, or at least I didn’t that night.
Do I have pains in my joints, my back, my head? Of course! Sometimes I’m out for a walk and suddenly my ankle hurts for no reason. I walk it off and then I’m fine. Raise your hand if this happens to you, too.
And then there are the questions about depression, crying, lack of energy (see “trouble sleeping”) decreased interest in daily activities, thoughts of suicide, etc. If you really suffer from these things, how likely is it that you will check off the tiny boxes on this form?
How about drug use? Do you want to say yes to the question, “Have you ever taken drugs for other than medicinal purposes?” And then they leave you a tiny bit of space to explain the details of your drug habit. I’m just glad they don’t ask about addictions to chocolate and other food groups!
At least I can breeze through the sections about smoking (“NEVER” I write down, proudly) and drinking (“Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?” No, they just annoy me when they are stupid.).
Are you overweight? Seriously, did you not just weigh and measure me? Come on – can’t you see that for yourself? It might be interesting to see some people’s responses to that question, but I dejectedly checked the “Yes” box.
The previous question appears in close proximity to the question about having weight loss. I’m working on that, but see previous question.
And then we get to the hospitalizations section of the questionnaire. My sister has had enough surgeries that she doesn’t have room to list them on her form. You have to fill out the form and say why you were operated on. I live in fear that someday I will forget the term “right hemicolectomy,” which is the official name for the procedure used to treat my colon cancer in 2000.
The personal section for women is always a fun exercise.
At what age was the onset of menstruation? When was your last period? At this age, memory is more of an issue than remembering the last time I needed to buy tampons, let’s face it. Is any of this going to explain why my shoulder hurts?
I used to be able to fill out these forms so fast, simply checking the “No” column for virtually every illness, disease and condition. Now, like most of us, I have to stop and think, check my files (which do not extend back to when I had the measles) and, in some cases, give it my best guess.
The diagnosis here should be “normal for a woman of her age.”
Then it is on to the doctor's office with the forms.
After going through the usual preliminaries with the nurse – height (proudly 5’1”) and weight (let’s move along here), blood pressure, temperature (I was only 98.5, which shows how cool I am, right?) – we get more serious with the EKG, where I had sticky things affixed to my body at various places and then a mass of wires hooked me up to a machine to check my heart (mine was warm and kind and beating regularly), followed by the list of shots I was missing. It was 10 years since my last tetanus shot and time for a pneumonia injection, too.
Then the doctor showed up. Assuming that I would be taken to task for a weight gain since my last physical, I was ready with a defense as well as ready to attest to my renewed dedication to Weight Watchers. I also launched a distraction by providing a list of ailments I wanted her to check (among others: The little lump on my right shin – a cyst, she said, apply warm compresses if it bothers you; it doesn’t). We discussed my aching shoulder (I will be starting my shoulder exercises any day now, I vowed) and my trigger finger (better since my last cortisone injection and not serious enough for surgery, in my own expert opinion). So my strategy worked and she bypassed my weight issue, which was a relief but nonetheless still an issue. I need to see a dermatologist for a routine exam, so she recommended a replacement for the one I was using because she retired. I'm at the age when my doctors are all younger than I am. That's not a bad thing since who wants to go to a doddering old doctor?
I got off easy. Everything checked out. I have a few follow-ups and tests to undergo, and then there is my annual gynecology appointment along with my mammogram, and she will send my bloodwork to the many medical people who are waiting eagerly for the results.
And no one ever asked me whether or when I had the measles. Phew!
Friday, June 1, 2018
Tina's May 2018 Movies
I offer a baker's dozen this month, one of which, despite the short stature of the main character, stands head and shoulders above the rest. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 being the top. Those marked with an asterisk (*) are movies I had not seen previously. Numbering picks up from previous months.
48. Tully* (2018) – Charlize Theron is Marlo, an overwhelmed mother of three in this comedy-drama (emphasis on the latter) who is “gifted” a night nanny to care for her infant son so she can sleep through the night. Enter 20-something Tully (Mackenzie Davis), who fits in immediately. She is likable, engaging, a good caretaker and a friend to Marlo. But as is usually the case, mothers get the brunt of the care responsibilities. Marlo’s loving husband Craig (Mark Duplass) means well, but as she settles down for a night bound to be interrupted by the need to breastfeed or pump (even with Tully handling the kids), he puts on his headset and plays video games. She feels bad, looks worse and is desperately combatting lack of sleep with post-partum depression or worse. To the credit of the stunning Theron, she looks awful but real (she gained 50 pounds for the part) and desperate, unable to articulate her needs or frustrations. This is surely not the feel-good movie of the year, and the trailer is much funnier than the actual movie, but it is a brave depiction of a woman on or over the verge of a breakdown, trying to cope and be a good mother while sublimating all of her needs and succumbing to what seems like post-traumatic stress syndrome. I’m certain many women will relate to this movie in ways they would like to forget. 3½ cans.
49. A League of Their Own (1992) – Women have always had to fight to be recognized in their fields, whether it is in a corporation, politics or on a baseball diamond. This ode to the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League is based on a true story. With American men off fighting World War II, some promoters thought it would be a good idea to start a league for women, and teams such as the Rockford Peaches turned out to have some pretty good players and a strong cadre of fans. The heart of the story is the relationship between sisters Dottie (Gena Davis) and Kit (Lorie Petty). Dottie has the baseball acumen and good sense, while Kit is a volatile, emotional gamer. The team is a collection of women (among them are Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell) who bond as a team and as friends. Tom Hanks is their initially disinterested manager, a boozy former player now relegated to women’s baseball and resentful about it until he sees the talent on his roster. His main contribution to this film is to utter the classic line, “There’s no crying in baseball!” One thing that always bugged me about this movie is the lack of athletes in key roles; none of these ladies look like they could throw the ball nearly well enough to be a pro player. This one will never make it to the Big Leagues, but it is a pleasant, if corny tale. 3 cans.
50. Finding Your Feet* (2018) – When wealthy, upper-crust Lady Sandra Abbott (Imelda Staunton) suddenly finds that her husband of 40 years is having an affair with her now former best friend, she immediately leaves and heads for the funky apartment of her estranged sister, Bif (Cecilia Imrie), a free-spirited woman who is nothing like her straitlaced older sibling. Bif loves to ride her bike, hoist a few at the local pub or smoke weed with her posse of likeminded friends, among them Charlie (Timothy Spall). She especially loves to dance with a group of people in her older age bracket. There’s nothing here that you cannot see coming, but it is joyful to watch as Sandra comes out of her shell and finds her footing after such a disheartening incident. I hope that when my friends and I are their age, we will enjoy life as much as Sandra and Bif. 3½ cans.
51. RBG* (2018) – Ruth Bader Ginsburg is notorious for her liberal opinions as a Justice of the Supreme Court, her work on equality and women’s rights as a lawyer who argued cases before the high court, and for her feminine collars that decorate her jurist’s robes. Supremely intelligent, a dogged worker who barely sleeps, the octogenarian does a workout with her trainer that I couldn’t do. She entered Harvard Law as one of nine women in a class of more than 600 and made the Law Review her second year. She married the love of her life, nursed him back to health and through law school when he was deathly ill, had two children, became an icon for women’s rights and handled some of the landmark decisions that have guided this country for decades. It is only May, but I am sure this movie will be the best documentary – and one of the best movies – of the year. In a movie world full of superheroes, Ruth Bader Ginsburg towers above the rest. 4½ cans.
52. Breathe* (2017) – Robin Cavendish (Andrew Garfield) and his wife Diana (Claire Foy) are active, fun, healthy and happy when he suddenly contracts polio at age 28, just as they are expecting their first child. Paralyzed, Robin doesn’t want to live, but Diana is not about to let him give up. Instead, Diana, her brothers and inventor Teddy Hall help him survive and even thrive thanks to a series of breakthrough inventions that allow him to be transported practically anywhere, with his special wheelchair/respirator breathing for him. He devotes his life to showing the world what innovation can do to inspire and assist the disabled. Based on a true story from his son, this movie is a salute to hope, love and technology. 3 cans.
53. Ladies in Lavender* (2004) – Aging siblings Janet (Maggie Smith) and Ursula (Judi Dench) live a quiet existence in an English coastal fishing village, content to garden, sip tea and listen to the radio. One morning after a big storm, they find the still-breathing body of a young man (Daniel Bruehl) washed up on shore. They summon the doctor and get him into their house, where they precede to care for him. He lies in bed, sleeping and recovering, while they spend a lot of time – particularly the never-married Ursula – staring at him. The young man does not speak English but the widowed Janet converses with him in her halting German, determining that he is from Poland. They are curiously not curious about how he came to wash up on their beach. Ursula becomes enraptured with him and, as he recovers and ventures out of the house, she goes through moments of jealously and anguish, knowing that eventually he will leave. He is a talented violinist, and he was on his way to the US to make a better life for himself than he would have in pre-World War II Poland. Will he take up with the attractive young painter in town? He’s NOT going to fall for Ursula, right? This is a gentle film about longing and loneliness. 3 cans.
54. If These Knishes Could Talk* (2014) – If knishes could talk, they would undoubtedly do so with a “New York” accent. The melting pot of Italian, Irish and Jewish people who immigrated to the US more than 100 years ago developed their own way of speaking, and this documentary looked – and listened – to all of them in concluding that New York is, shall we say, different. The common things the region shares is the inability for people to speak without using their hands, as conveyed by native New Yorker and noted attorney Alan Dershowitz. New Yorkers are a ribald group of people who swear profusely (even in sign language), who are tough-minded, quick to interrupt and quick to poke fun. The people here include everyone from a Korean man who sounds like the prototypical New “Yawker” and whose Asian background is sublimated to his accent; to Bronx native Penny Marshall, the actress and director who was told that with her accent she would have no career in Hollywood; to guys who sound like they are right out of “Goodfellas.” In fact, one protests that he and his friends already spoke that way and “Marty” (Scorsese, we assume) took the accent from him, not the other way around. There is no great meaning here, but it is fun to hear people who swear they have no accent display when everyone NOT from New York swears they certainly do. 3½ cans. PS – If you don’t have Amazon Prime Video, you can fuhgetabout seeing this movie.
55. Twice in a Lifetime (1984) – I have now seen this movie twice in my lifetime and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. As Harry (Gene Hackman) celebrates his 50th birthday with his buddies in a bar, his wife Kate (Ellyn Burstyn, who used to star in practically every movie of that era) stays home. Harry works the night shift in the local factory in Seattle, cheers for the Seahawks and generally has a very predictable life. It is fairly safe to assume that his birthday night flirting with Audrey, the attractive new barmaid at the Shamrock (Ann-Margret), is a new thing for him, but before you know it, Harry is cheating on Kate and taking up with Audrey. But the story is less about a marriage falling apart than the effect of the dissolution on his family, especially on hot-tempered daughter Sonny (Amy Madigan, at her best), a woman with marital and financial woes of her own. What always bothered me about this movie is how Harry moves so easily from his loyal, caring wife into a routine but more exciting relationship with this new woman. He doesn’t have enough guilt or regret, and he still loves wife #1. Then again, isn’t everyone entitled to their share of happiness? 3½ cans.
56. Words & Pictures* (2013) – Alcoholic English teacher Jack Marcus (Clive Owen) knows plenty about words, but although he is a published author, he is more sanctimonious than scholarly, and he hasn’t published anything lately. Artist and art teacher Dina Delsanto (Juliette Binoche) is convinced that pictures matter more than words, although her rheumatoid arthritis has greatly affected her ability to paint. The two teachers disagree with each other and set up a competition at the school to see what matters most, words or pictures. Their sparring can only lead to romance, as we know from the million movies before this feeble attempt to give us a loving couple. The school is filled with the usual clichéd students, there is a threat that Jack could lose his job, and will either Jack or Dina ever be able to again demonstrate real talent in their chosen fields? By the end, I really didn’t care. Neither evoked any sympathy or admiration from me, despite my relish for good words, well-written literature and my penchant for a punchy phrase. 2 cans.
57. Book Club* (2018) – There are perfect date movies, action movies and movies for women of a certain age, as evidenced by the groups of women who sauntered into the theater for this one. The remarkably restored Jane Fonda, the wry Candice Bergen, the quirky Diane Keaton and the youngest of the bunch, Mary Steenbergen, relish their time together, discussing books, drinking lots of wine, enjoying snacks and bonding as friends. When they decide to read the trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey,” they all realize that their personal lives could use a little spicing up. Immediately, Keaton meets a pilot (Andy Garcia) on a flight to see her overprotective daughters, Fonda is reunited with an old flame (Don Johnson), Bergen goes online and meets a charming date (Richard Dreyfuss) and Steenbergen really, really works at bringing back the magic with her husband (Craig T. Nelson). The movie is much less silly than I anticipated and laced with humor, warmth and heart. Go read a book and see this movie. 3½ cans.
58. The Family Stone (2005) – Sarah Jessica Parker is Meredith, a buttoned-up, humorless, self-centered woman who is dragged to the home of her soon to be fiancé, Everett (Dermot Mulrooney) to meet the family at Christmas, and the tension is as tight as the hair pulled back on her head. The family is a big, laid-back group, headed by mother Sybil (Diane Keaton) and father Kelly (Craig T. Nelson). Everett’s sister Amy (Rachel McAdams) takes a quick dislike to Meredith, who is clearly the square peg here (extra points to any of you who get THAT reference), but brother Ben (Luke Wilson) wants to help her out. Complicating matters is the arrival of Meredith’s sister Julie (Clare Danes), the friendly and fun sister of the two, who hits it off bigtime with Everett. The plot doesn’t thicken as much as it slides toward the inevitable, but it is worth the ride. Parker is particularly good as the uptight guest. 4 cans.
59. Growing Up Smith* (2015) – He may be of Indian descent, but 10-year old Smith (Roni Akurati) is the all-American boy. He likes “Star Wars,” “Happy Days,” “Saturday Night Fever” and has a mad crush on his classmate and neighbor Amy (Brighton Sharbino). But his pushy papa insists on his carrying on the traditions of HIS native country. Although his son is just 10, the father has already picked out his Indian bride. Smith’s biggest problem is trying to be a good son while also trying to be an average kid. Helping him out is neighbor Bucky (Jason Lee), a motorcycle-riding guy fighting with his wife (Hilarie Burton). I was reminded of one of my favorite TV shows, “The Wonder Years,” by the theme of kids with crushes just trying to survive overbearing parents and be “normal.” And the kid who plays Smith with a wide-eyed innocence loos much like Paul Pfeiffer (Josh Saviano) on TWY. 3½ cans.
60. Hollywoodland* (2006) – The 1959 death of actor George Reeves – famous for playing Superman on TV – was ruled a suicide, but private investigator Louis Simo (Adrien Brody) doesn’t agree. He connects with the actor’s doubting mother and tries to unravel the mystery, told in flashbacks, about Reeves’ relationships with Hollywood movers and shakers as the handsome actor tries to land movie roles before being cast – and typecast – as the Man of Steel. Ben Affleck is convincing as Reeves, who is appalled with his cartoonish role, and Diane Lane – one of my favorite actresses – plays a woman having an affair with Reeves while married to a top studio exec. There’s plenty of suspense here. 3½ cans.
48. Tully* (2018) – Charlize Theron is Marlo, an overwhelmed mother of three in this comedy-drama (emphasis on the latter) who is “gifted” a night nanny to care for her infant son so she can sleep through the night. Enter 20-something Tully (Mackenzie Davis), who fits in immediately. She is likable, engaging, a good caretaker and a friend to Marlo. But as is usually the case, mothers get the brunt of the care responsibilities. Marlo’s loving husband Craig (Mark Duplass) means well, but as she settles down for a night bound to be interrupted by the need to breastfeed or pump (even with Tully handling the kids), he puts on his headset and plays video games. She feels bad, looks worse and is desperately combatting lack of sleep with post-partum depression or worse. To the credit of the stunning Theron, she looks awful but real (she gained 50 pounds for the part) and desperate, unable to articulate her needs or frustrations. This is surely not the feel-good movie of the year, and the trailer is much funnier than the actual movie, but it is a brave depiction of a woman on or over the verge of a breakdown, trying to cope and be a good mother while sublimating all of her needs and succumbing to what seems like post-traumatic stress syndrome. I’m certain many women will relate to this movie in ways they would like to forget. 3½ cans.
49. A League of Their Own (1992) – Women have always had to fight to be recognized in their fields, whether it is in a corporation, politics or on a baseball diamond. This ode to the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League is based on a true story. With American men off fighting World War II, some promoters thought it would be a good idea to start a league for women, and teams such as the Rockford Peaches turned out to have some pretty good players and a strong cadre of fans. The heart of the story is the relationship between sisters Dottie (Gena Davis) and Kit (Lorie Petty). Dottie has the baseball acumen and good sense, while Kit is a volatile, emotional gamer. The team is a collection of women (among them are Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell) who bond as a team and as friends. Tom Hanks is their initially disinterested manager, a boozy former player now relegated to women’s baseball and resentful about it until he sees the talent on his roster. His main contribution to this film is to utter the classic line, “There’s no crying in baseball!” One thing that always bugged me about this movie is the lack of athletes in key roles; none of these ladies look like they could throw the ball nearly well enough to be a pro player. This one will never make it to the Big Leagues, but it is a pleasant, if corny tale. 3 cans.
50. Finding Your Feet* (2018) – When wealthy, upper-crust Lady Sandra Abbott (Imelda Staunton) suddenly finds that her husband of 40 years is having an affair with her now former best friend, she immediately leaves and heads for the funky apartment of her estranged sister, Bif (Cecilia Imrie), a free-spirited woman who is nothing like her straitlaced older sibling. Bif loves to ride her bike, hoist a few at the local pub or smoke weed with her posse of likeminded friends, among them Charlie (Timothy Spall). She especially loves to dance with a group of people in her older age bracket. There’s nothing here that you cannot see coming, but it is joyful to watch as Sandra comes out of her shell and finds her footing after such a disheartening incident. I hope that when my friends and I are their age, we will enjoy life as much as Sandra and Bif. 3½ cans.
51. RBG* (2018) – Ruth Bader Ginsburg is notorious for her liberal opinions as a Justice of the Supreme Court, her work on equality and women’s rights as a lawyer who argued cases before the high court, and for her feminine collars that decorate her jurist’s robes. Supremely intelligent, a dogged worker who barely sleeps, the octogenarian does a workout with her trainer that I couldn’t do. She entered Harvard Law as one of nine women in a class of more than 600 and made the Law Review her second year. She married the love of her life, nursed him back to health and through law school when he was deathly ill, had two children, became an icon for women’s rights and handled some of the landmark decisions that have guided this country for decades. It is only May, but I am sure this movie will be the best documentary – and one of the best movies – of the year. In a movie world full of superheroes, Ruth Bader Ginsburg towers above the rest. 4½ cans.
52. Breathe* (2017) – Robin Cavendish (Andrew Garfield) and his wife Diana (Claire Foy) are active, fun, healthy and happy when he suddenly contracts polio at age 28, just as they are expecting their first child. Paralyzed, Robin doesn’t want to live, but Diana is not about to let him give up. Instead, Diana, her brothers and inventor Teddy Hall help him survive and even thrive thanks to a series of breakthrough inventions that allow him to be transported practically anywhere, with his special wheelchair/respirator breathing for him. He devotes his life to showing the world what innovation can do to inspire and assist the disabled. Based on a true story from his son, this movie is a salute to hope, love and technology. 3 cans.
53. Ladies in Lavender* (2004) – Aging siblings Janet (Maggie Smith) and Ursula (Judi Dench) live a quiet existence in an English coastal fishing village, content to garden, sip tea and listen to the radio. One morning after a big storm, they find the still-breathing body of a young man (Daniel Bruehl) washed up on shore. They summon the doctor and get him into their house, where they precede to care for him. He lies in bed, sleeping and recovering, while they spend a lot of time – particularly the never-married Ursula – staring at him. The young man does not speak English but the widowed Janet converses with him in her halting German, determining that he is from Poland. They are curiously not curious about how he came to wash up on their beach. Ursula becomes enraptured with him and, as he recovers and ventures out of the house, she goes through moments of jealously and anguish, knowing that eventually he will leave. He is a talented violinist, and he was on his way to the US to make a better life for himself than he would have in pre-World War II Poland. Will he take up with the attractive young painter in town? He’s NOT going to fall for Ursula, right? This is a gentle film about longing and loneliness. 3 cans.
54. If These Knishes Could Talk* (2014) – If knishes could talk, they would undoubtedly do so with a “New York” accent. The melting pot of Italian, Irish and Jewish people who immigrated to the US more than 100 years ago developed their own way of speaking, and this documentary looked – and listened – to all of them in concluding that New York is, shall we say, different. The common things the region shares is the inability for people to speak without using their hands, as conveyed by native New Yorker and noted attorney Alan Dershowitz. New Yorkers are a ribald group of people who swear profusely (even in sign language), who are tough-minded, quick to interrupt and quick to poke fun. The people here include everyone from a Korean man who sounds like the prototypical New “Yawker” and whose Asian background is sublimated to his accent; to Bronx native Penny Marshall, the actress and director who was told that with her accent she would have no career in Hollywood; to guys who sound like they are right out of “Goodfellas.” In fact, one protests that he and his friends already spoke that way and “Marty” (Scorsese, we assume) took the accent from him, not the other way around. There is no great meaning here, but it is fun to hear people who swear they have no accent display when everyone NOT from New York swears they certainly do. 3½ cans. PS – If you don’t have Amazon Prime Video, you can fuhgetabout seeing this movie.
55. Twice in a Lifetime (1984) – I have now seen this movie twice in my lifetime and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. As Harry (Gene Hackman) celebrates his 50th birthday with his buddies in a bar, his wife Kate (Ellyn Burstyn, who used to star in practically every movie of that era) stays home. Harry works the night shift in the local factory in Seattle, cheers for the Seahawks and generally has a very predictable life. It is fairly safe to assume that his birthday night flirting with Audrey, the attractive new barmaid at the Shamrock (Ann-Margret), is a new thing for him, but before you know it, Harry is cheating on Kate and taking up with Audrey. But the story is less about a marriage falling apart than the effect of the dissolution on his family, especially on hot-tempered daughter Sonny (Amy Madigan, at her best), a woman with marital and financial woes of her own. What always bothered me about this movie is how Harry moves so easily from his loyal, caring wife into a routine but more exciting relationship with this new woman. He doesn’t have enough guilt or regret, and he still loves wife #1. Then again, isn’t everyone entitled to their share of happiness? 3½ cans.
56. Words & Pictures* (2013) – Alcoholic English teacher Jack Marcus (Clive Owen) knows plenty about words, but although he is a published author, he is more sanctimonious than scholarly, and he hasn’t published anything lately. Artist and art teacher Dina Delsanto (Juliette Binoche) is convinced that pictures matter more than words, although her rheumatoid arthritis has greatly affected her ability to paint. The two teachers disagree with each other and set up a competition at the school to see what matters most, words or pictures. Their sparring can only lead to romance, as we know from the million movies before this feeble attempt to give us a loving couple. The school is filled with the usual clichéd students, there is a threat that Jack could lose his job, and will either Jack or Dina ever be able to again demonstrate real talent in their chosen fields? By the end, I really didn’t care. Neither evoked any sympathy or admiration from me, despite my relish for good words, well-written literature and my penchant for a punchy phrase. 2 cans.
57. Book Club* (2018) – There are perfect date movies, action movies and movies for women of a certain age, as evidenced by the groups of women who sauntered into the theater for this one. The remarkably restored Jane Fonda, the wry Candice Bergen, the quirky Diane Keaton and the youngest of the bunch, Mary Steenbergen, relish their time together, discussing books, drinking lots of wine, enjoying snacks and bonding as friends. When they decide to read the trilogy “Fifty Shades of Grey,” they all realize that their personal lives could use a little spicing up. Immediately, Keaton meets a pilot (Andy Garcia) on a flight to see her overprotective daughters, Fonda is reunited with an old flame (Don Johnson), Bergen goes online and meets a charming date (Richard Dreyfuss) and Steenbergen really, really works at bringing back the magic with her husband (Craig T. Nelson). The movie is much less silly than I anticipated and laced with humor, warmth and heart. Go read a book and see this movie. 3½ cans.
58. The Family Stone (2005) – Sarah Jessica Parker is Meredith, a buttoned-up, humorless, self-centered woman who is dragged to the home of her soon to be fiancé, Everett (Dermot Mulrooney) to meet the family at Christmas, and the tension is as tight as the hair pulled back on her head. The family is a big, laid-back group, headed by mother Sybil (Diane Keaton) and father Kelly (Craig T. Nelson). Everett’s sister Amy (Rachel McAdams) takes a quick dislike to Meredith, who is clearly the square peg here (extra points to any of you who get THAT reference), but brother Ben (Luke Wilson) wants to help her out. Complicating matters is the arrival of Meredith’s sister Julie (Clare Danes), the friendly and fun sister of the two, who hits it off bigtime with Everett. The plot doesn’t thicken as much as it slides toward the inevitable, but it is worth the ride. Parker is particularly good as the uptight guest. 4 cans.
59. Growing Up Smith* (2015) – He may be of Indian descent, but 10-year old Smith (Roni Akurati) is the all-American boy. He likes “Star Wars,” “Happy Days,” “Saturday Night Fever” and has a mad crush on his classmate and neighbor Amy (Brighton Sharbino). But his pushy papa insists on his carrying on the traditions of HIS native country. Although his son is just 10, the father has already picked out his Indian bride. Smith’s biggest problem is trying to be a good son while also trying to be an average kid. Helping him out is neighbor Bucky (Jason Lee), a motorcycle-riding guy fighting with his wife (Hilarie Burton). I was reminded of one of my favorite TV shows, “The Wonder Years,” by the theme of kids with crushes just trying to survive overbearing parents and be “normal.” And the kid who plays Smith with a wide-eyed innocence loos much like Paul Pfeiffer (Josh Saviano) on TWY. 3½ cans.
60. Hollywoodland* (2006) – The 1959 death of actor George Reeves – famous for playing Superman on TV – was ruled a suicide, but private investigator Louis Simo (Adrien Brody) doesn’t agree. He connects with the actor’s doubting mother and tries to unravel the mystery, told in flashbacks, about Reeves’ relationships with Hollywood movers and shakers as the handsome actor tries to land movie roles before being cast – and typecast – as the Man of Steel. Ben Affleck is convincing as Reeves, who is appalled with his cartoonish role, and Diane Lane – one of my favorite actresses – plays a woman having an affair with Reeves while married to a top studio exec. There’s plenty of suspense here. 3½ cans.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Spring Awakenings
Phew! I ALMOST walked out of Kohl’s with nothing purchased and Kohl’s Cash burning a hole in my pocket. That would be like getting voted off Survivor while holding an Immunity Idol in my hand. Close call.
Just curious: Am I the only person who uses a tweezer to remove the residual lint from the screen in the back of the hair dryer?
One of the more annoying things I do to myself is to accidentally leave a tissue in the pocket of a sweatshirt, so when I do the laundry, the whole load is covered with little fragments of lint. If only I had checked…
It would be so much more convenient if society used one standard of temperature. Why do we need Fahrenheit and Celsius? I’m confused enough about time zones!
Why are rest rooms called rest rooms? Who would want to take a rest in a noisy, smelly, unsanitary place where the hand dryers sound like jet engines? Maybe this practice goes back to when women were considered fragile and needed to rest, but today’s public ladies rooms are hardly conducive to resting. I think they need a new name. If you want to class them up, call them the “Ladies Lavatory” or the ladies room. Trust me, we will know what that is for.
I have a new obsession: I am recording and watching episodes of “Hill Street Blues” and “NYPD Blues,” both Steven Bochco police dramas that aired nearly 20 years ago. Two episodes each of these shows are broadcast on the “Heroes and Icons” network every day, and I faithfully watch them, often in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep anyway. Hill and Renko, Sipowicz and Simone, Furillo and Davenport, and who can forget Mick Belker? It is like having old friends come to visit. So if my movie list looks a little sparse these days, consider how many more I could watch if I were not dedicating hours to these old classics. Hey, let’s be careful out there!
Amazon’s Alexa has a new skill to help you remember things. I would use it if I could remember how to access it.
I’m glad we are finally moving out of the cold weather season and into warmth again, which means sandals season is upon us. But I confess that while sandals themselves are fine, I detest that “clacking” sound you hear as the bottom of the shoe hits my heel. That is the price of warm weather, I guess.
If not for nail and hair salons and doctors’ offices, would there even be a magazine industry. I see magazines sitting there as my nails dry at the salon, but I don’t dare open one or turn a page for fear of ruining my manicure!
I take my car to two different car washes. One is strictly exterior and done with hoses in a parking lot. The other one offers not only exterior/interior cleaning and sprucing up the tires (and vacuuming), but also some of the nicest greeting cards around. Recently, I spent $34 getting my car washed and buying things. I really can find ways to spend my money!
Don’t you think your car runs better when it has been washed? I know mine does. I guess it is like taking a shower. You feel so good and refreshed afterwards. The car must feel that way, too.
Why are we always surprised when the weather gets warm? Sure, the timing may vary from year to year, but we all act like the change of seasons has never happened before. I will agree that is strange to wear a winter coat on a Sunday and wear shorts four days later!
Here is a pet peeve: All products which contain expiration dates should be clearly marked. The dates are sometimes impossible to find or you need a translator to decipher the code!
Here’s another pet peeve: All houses should be marked by easily readable numbers. My house not only has a number right next to the garage, but there is also a reflective number on the mailbox at the end of the driveway, so you can identify my house in the dark. This is so important in case of emergencies – or guests!
Thank God that no one can look at the little cloud above my head that is full of snarky comments, which happens when I am at an event and the speaker drones on FOREVA or during conversations I wish I wasn’t having with people I don’t want to talk to. I only hope other people don’t have those same snarky thoughts about me! (They don’t, do they?)
Do you ever have to buy paperclips? I think I have been recycling the same paperclips for at least 20 years now. I save the ones from documents I no longer need and reuse them. So far, I have yet to run out of my stash.
Here is a job I wouldn’t want to have (any job, really…): I would not want to be the poor soul who is stuck listening to those calls they tell you MAY be monitored. You know, when you call the bank or Comcast or whomever for customer service. Who would want to listed to those calls and grade the performance of the rep? Or is the whole thing a ruse to make you think someone is paying attention?
Speaking of calls, those robocalls remain annoyingly confounding. The number emulates a local number so you pick up, just in case it actually is someone you know whose number you don’t recognize, and you find it is someone trying to sell you a security system or give you a “free” vacation. The caller sounds so friendly that you might not initially realize it is a recording. The last one I got told me that time was running out on this particular offer, so I better hurry up and buy, subscribe or take some action. OK, let the time run out so you WON’T call me again! A live person called me recently about solar panels. I told him to do himself a favor and take me off his list because I wasn’t buying solar panels for my new house. His retort was, “Oh, so you don’t want to save money?” The next time he calls, I am going to tell him that I am buying solar panels, but not from his company because I don’t like his approach to sales. Or, that I just declared bankruptcy.
Maybe the cultural phenomenon of book clubs is a direct effect of the cultural phenomenon that is Oprah Winfrey, who may have started the trend on her former TV show when she established “Oprah’s Book Club.” Millions of people started reading again and gathering to discuss books. Or not discussing the books, which also happens in book clubs – especially those where wine is involved. I know of book clubs that are difficult to get in – you have to be invited – where the women don’t even attempt to discuss the book, which, to me, defeats the whole purpose of a book club. Most of my friends enjoy reading books or listening to the audio version as they commute via bus or train or drive. The public library has a whole collection of books specifically designated for book clubs and allows members to borrow 10 copies at a time for members to read and discuss. There is even an official bag to transport them, and they come with questions to get the conversation going. Some of us download books on our Kindles or via the library’s “cloud” application) for convenient and portable reading. Many people I know enjoy recommending books for me to read so we can discuss them later. My neighbors formed a book club last year, and we have met monthly ever since, with a break in December for the busy holiday season. I find that most members read the books, but some – if they don’t like the choice – will stop reading and go to Book Club anyway. Some members are really there to discuss the book, while others show up just to talk, to catch up with each other or to enjoy the snacks that are served. Some people are in several book clubs, just for the joy or reading and having someone with whom they can talk about the book. Some of us have trouble remembering which books we have read, so I’m now inserting the name of the book on my calendar when I mark the date for our gatherings. It doesn’t matter, really. One of my favorite things to do as a child was to go to the library with my mother. She was a voracious reader (side note: The word “voracious” seems to always accompany the word “reader”) who knew all of the librarians at the Somerville Free Public Library. She would recommend books for them to read, and somehow, she managed to read several books at the same time. When I picture her bedroom, I see a stack of books on the nightstand that she was working her way through. She was at the library so often that she gave gifts to the librarians each year at the holidays, and I think they would put aside books she wanted. She would take me in the family car after dinner, when my father was home from work, and the librarians would let me into the children’s library downstairs even though it was closed in the evenings (just one of the benefits of being the daughter of the late, great Sylvia Gordon). My quest to watch as many movies as I can during the year had diminished my interest in reading for a while, but by dropping magazine subscriptions and relying on Book Club or recommendations, I’m back in the game again. Just don’t ask me the names of the books I have read. Between lists of books and movies, it is hard to keep it all straight! Happy reading, everyone.
Just curious: Am I the only person who uses a tweezer to remove the residual lint from the screen in the back of the hair dryer?
One of the more annoying things I do to myself is to accidentally leave a tissue in the pocket of a sweatshirt, so when I do the laundry, the whole load is covered with little fragments of lint. If only I had checked…
It would be so much more convenient if society used one standard of temperature. Why do we need Fahrenheit and Celsius? I’m confused enough about time zones!
Why are rest rooms called rest rooms? Who would want to take a rest in a noisy, smelly, unsanitary place where the hand dryers sound like jet engines? Maybe this practice goes back to when women were considered fragile and needed to rest, but today’s public ladies rooms are hardly conducive to resting. I think they need a new name. If you want to class them up, call them the “Ladies Lavatory” or the ladies room. Trust me, we will know what that is for.
I have a new obsession: I am recording and watching episodes of “Hill Street Blues” and “NYPD Blues,” both Steven Bochco police dramas that aired nearly 20 years ago. Two episodes each of these shows are broadcast on the “Heroes and Icons” network every day, and I faithfully watch them, often in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep anyway. Hill and Renko, Sipowicz and Simone, Furillo and Davenport, and who can forget Mick Belker? It is like having old friends come to visit. So if my movie list looks a little sparse these days, consider how many more I could watch if I were not dedicating hours to these old classics. Hey, let’s be careful out there!
Amazon’s Alexa has a new skill to help you remember things. I would use it if I could remember how to access it.
I’m glad we are finally moving out of the cold weather season and into warmth again, which means sandals season is upon us. But I confess that while sandals themselves are fine, I detest that “clacking” sound you hear as the bottom of the shoe hits my heel. That is the price of warm weather, I guess.
If not for nail and hair salons and doctors’ offices, would there even be a magazine industry. I see magazines sitting there as my nails dry at the salon, but I don’t dare open one or turn a page for fear of ruining my manicure!
I take my car to two different car washes. One is strictly exterior and done with hoses in a parking lot. The other one offers not only exterior/interior cleaning and sprucing up the tires (and vacuuming), but also some of the nicest greeting cards around. Recently, I spent $34 getting my car washed and buying things. I really can find ways to spend my money!
Don’t you think your car runs better when it has been washed? I know mine does. I guess it is like taking a shower. You feel so good and refreshed afterwards. The car must feel that way, too.
Why are we always surprised when the weather gets warm? Sure, the timing may vary from year to year, but we all act like the change of seasons has never happened before. I will agree that is strange to wear a winter coat on a Sunday and wear shorts four days later!
Here is a pet peeve: All products which contain expiration dates should be clearly marked. The dates are sometimes impossible to find or you need a translator to decipher the code!
Here’s another pet peeve: All houses should be marked by easily readable numbers. My house not only has a number right next to the garage, but there is also a reflective number on the mailbox at the end of the driveway, so you can identify my house in the dark. This is so important in case of emergencies – or guests!
Thank God that no one can look at the little cloud above my head that is full of snarky comments, which happens when I am at an event and the speaker drones on FOREVA or during conversations I wish I wasn’t having with people I don’t want to talk to. I only hope other people don’t have those same snarky thoughts about me! (They don’t, do they?)
Do you ever have to buy paperclips? I think I have been recycling the same paperclips for at least 20 years now. I save the ones from documents I no longer need and reuse them. So far, I have yet to run out of my stash.
Here is a job I wouldn’t want to have (any job, really…): I would not want to be the poor soul who is stuck listening to those calls they tell you MAY be monitored. You know, when you call the bank or Comcast or whomever for customer service. Who would want to listed to those calls and grade the performance of the rep? Or is the whole thing a ruse to make you think someone is paying attention?
Speaking of calls, those robocalls remain annoyingly confounding. The number emulates a local number so you pick up, just in case it actually is someone you know whose number you don’t recognize, and you find it is someone trying to sell you a security system or give you a “free” vacation. The caller sounds so friendly that you might not initially realize it is a recording. The last one I got told me that time was running out on this particular offer, so I better hurry up and buy, subscribe or take some action. OK, let the time run out so you WON’T call me again! A live person called me recently about solar panels. I told him to do himself a favor and take me off his list because I wasn’t buying solar panels for my new house. His retort was, “Oh, so you don’t want to save money?” The next time he calls, I am going to tell him that I am buying solar panels, but not from his company because I don’t like his approach to sales. Or, that I just declared bankruptcy.
Maybe the cultural phenomenon of book clubs is a direct effect of the cultural phenomenon that is Oprah Winfrey, who may have started the trend on her former TV show when she established “Oprah’s Book Club.” Millions of people started reading again and gathering to discuss books. Or not discussing the books, which also happens in book clubs – especially those where wine is involved. I know of book clubs that are difficult to get in – you have to be invited – where the women don’t even attempt to discuss the book, which, to me, defeats the whole purpose of a book club. Most of my friends enjoy reading books or listening to the audio version as they commute via bus or train or drive. The public library has a whole collection of books specifically designated for book clubs and allows members to borrow 10 copies at a time for members to read and discuss. There is even an official bag to transport them, and they come with questions to get the conversation going. Some of us download books on our Kindles or via the library’s “cloud” application) for convenient and portable reading. Many people I know enjoy recommending books for me to read so we can discuss them later. My neighbors formed a book club last year, and we have met monthly ever since, with a break in December for the busy holiday season. I find that most members read the books, but some – if they don’t like the choice – will stop reading and go to Book Club anyway. Some members are really there to discuss the book, while others show up just to talk, to catch up with each other or to enjoy the snacks that are served. Some people are in several book clubs, just for the joy or reading and having someone with whom they can talk about the book. Some of us have trouble remembering which books we have read, so I’m now inserting the name of the book on my calendar when I mark the date for our gatherings. It doesn’t matter, really. One of my favorite things to do as a child was to go to the library with my mother. She was a voracious reader (side note: The word “voracious” seems to always accompany the word “reader”) who knew all of the librarians at the Somerville Free Public Library. She would recommend books for them to read, and somehow, she managed to read several books at the same time. When I picture her bedroom, I see a stack of books on the nightstand that she was working her way through. She was at the library so often that she gave gifts to the librarians each year at the holidays, and I think they would put aside books she wanted. She would take me in the family car after dinner, when my father was home from work, and the librarians would let me into the children’s library downstairs even though it was closed in the evenings (just one of the benefits of being the daughter of the late, great Sylvia Gordon). My quest to watch as many movies as I can during the year had diminished my interest in reading for a while, but by dropping magazine subscriptions and relying on Book Club or recommendations, I’m back in the game again. Just don’t ask me the names of the books I have read. Between lists of books and movies, it is hard to keep it all straight! Happy reading, everyone.
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