My Amazon Echo (Alexa) is very accommodating when it comes to playing music or sounds to help me sleep. But judging how badly I am sleeping these days – unless I am at the movies – I wonder if I can ask her to play sounds of people munching on popcorn, coughing and opening candy wrappers. Those sounds seem to put me to sleep.
Exactly 10 days after I get a haircut, my hair looks perfect. Sometimes this even extends to the 11th day. On any other day, I vacillate between “It’s too long but maybe I should let it grow” and “I need a haircut RIGHT THIS MINUTE!”
Sometimes I think to myself, “If it were up to me,” and then I realize that whatever it is IS up to me.
I think that after coming back from a three-mile walk in the heat, dripping with sweat under my lip like Richard Nixon, it’s only fair that I should lose 6 pounds. Just sayin’.
If only dieting were a losing proposition, but it has so many ups and downs.
You know when you ask for directions and you listen carefully and nod knowingly but you are sure that after that first right you’re probably going to forget everything you just heard and will have to ask the next person for further directions? Yeah, that’s me.
I recently hooked up a new, 75-foot stainless steel hose that is supposed to be kink-proof and which has a lifetime warranty. I give it two weeks. The hose it replaced must have been guaranteed to kink, because it did – constantly!
If I ever post a picture of a gnome or a fake deer in my yard, please understand that this is code to let you know I am being held hostage and you need to come and rescue me.
Today I heard Martha & the Vandellas (parenthetically, exactly WHAT is a Vendella???) singing “Come And Take These Memories” and sang right along, recalling every word. But I don’t remember what I had for lunch.
There’s one reason that I like the song “Baby Come Back” by the Ohio Players (one-hit wonder?). That’s because of this line: “All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado.” Anyone who can work the word bravado into a song lyric gets my admiration.
I also love the Eagles song “Best of My Love” because of this line: “Every morning, I wake up and worry, what’s gonna happen today.” I can identify with that thinking.
And speaking of song lyrics that I admire, let’s look at Gladys Knight’s “If I Were Your Woman.” Start with the title, which appropriately uses the subjective “were” instead of the more common – and incorrect – “was.” And then there is a line which I swear makes Gladys sound Jewish. She sings,
“You're like a diamond,
But she treats you like glass
Yet you beg her to love you
But me, you don't ask.”
If that doesn’t sound like Sylvia Gordon herself – “But me, you don’t ask” – nothing does!
FACT: If your clothes that need ironing hang around long enough, they eventually look better to you and you will wear them without ironing them.
On those occasions when I have to open a bottle of champagne or Prosecco, I can almost hear Ralphie’s mother from “A Christmas Story” saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
As my dear friend Flora points out, wishing someone a “belated birthday” makes no sense. The birthday has come and gone. It wasn’t belated. It took place right on schedule. It is your birthday wishes that are belated.
I recently killed a fly with my bare hands. I really didn't think my reflexes were that good. I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself or disgusted.
When you buy stamps, do you care what they look like? I found some “Love” stamps in the drawer and just couldn’t bring myself to use them to pay my dentist bill (there are still some bills I pay by check). I went out and bought a book of the generic “Forever” stamps so I could use the Love stamps on birthday cards. The things I take time to consider could drive me crazy!
I recently left this typewritten note to my mail carrier: “Dear Mail Carrier: Please do not cram a bright orange envelope from Shutterfly into my mailbox. It contains photographs, and if they get bent, they will be ruined. Thank you.” I taped the note to my mailbox and slipped a $5 bill inside. When I checked my mail later that day, it was gone. The next day I found a bright orange envelope from Shutterfly crammed into my mailbox (luckily, everything was perfectly packed). So much for that strategy.
I go to water aerobics three times a week and afterwards, our group plays volleyball in the pool. Not only is this athletically rewarding, but the conversations are hilarious. Most are centered around food. One woman recently professed her love for powdered mashed potatoes, which she insists have improved since they were introduced years ago. She likes to eat them with stuffing and cranberry sauce, and even suggested that she would love them as a sandwich. I couldn’t help pointing out that she was just missing turkey, but she’d rather do a carb overload than consume meat -- except for the ham sandwich she eats every morning before she comes to the pool. I’m not sure this makes any sense to most of us, but we all have our idiosyncrasies, don’t we? We also have profound discussions about important issues. For example, if you are retired and you travel, can you call your trip a vacation? If you don’t work, do you get a vacation?
I find myself relying more than ever on closed captioning when I watch television. First, people mumble. My BFF says she and her husband will hit the replay button 3 times to see if they can understand the dialog, and, if they can’t, they just move on. I get that. Second, if I am watching people with British accents, I NEED closed captioning, because I could replay a scene 10 times and still not understand what they are saying. Half of the time I’m reading the dialog just because it is easier to read than to listen.
I live in an “active adult” community, which means everyone here is at least 55 but not dead yet. There are more than 1500 people here, and I swear half of the women are named Anne or Barbara.
When the people in this community go to the pool, no one swims. They stand in the pool, chatting. Oh, a few bring “noodles” into the pool and occasionally float a bit, but mainly they chat. And they all wear hats and sunglasses, both men and women. The only difference is that while the men wear baseball caps, the women wear all kinds of hats, visors, sombreros – and way too many have been bedazzled.
This is also the land of OPDS – Old People Driving Slowly. The exceptions are the few rebels who refuse to obey the community stop signs. The township has no control over our streets, and, apparently, neither do we, since some people adamantly refuse to stop. Not that there is exactly a drag strip here, since we are populated by OPDS. Nevertheless, the failure to adhere to the simple stop command has forced the Board to announce we will soon be subjected to the installation of “speed bumps.” This decision was met with many comments by residents who think they will slow down ambulances (again, this IS a 55+ community), interfere with snow plows and, generally, slow people down. Isn’t that the point?
Friday, July 14, 2017
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Tina's June 2017 Movies
It was a good month for movies, with Wonder Woman at the top of the list. I ventured outside the movies to include Season 5 of Netflix's Orange Is the New Black, a worthy addition to the list. Movies are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, with 5 at the top. Those marked with an asterisk are ones I had not seen previously. Numbering picks up from previous months.
64. If You’re Not in the Obits, Eat Breakfast* (2017) – Actor, writer, director, raconteur and nonagenarian Carl Reiner takes center stage in this clever documentary about growing old but not extinct. Reiner, who created (with manic Mel Brooks) “The 2000 Year Old Man,” is still – like Brooks himself – writing, performing and keeping the world laughing. Reiner is joined here by other comic entertainers, like the still-spry Dick Van Dyke, Golden Girl Betty White, and TV and movie producer and legend Norman Lear, who insists that he gets applause just for showing up alive. This film is a tribute not just to longevity, but to a lifetime of laughter. When it comes to Reiner, I’ll have what he’s having. 3½ cans.
65. Blood Ties: The Mendendez Brothers* (2017) – If you were alive in the early 1990s, you will recall the “trial of the century” (which it remained until the OJ Simpson trial came along). Brief summary: Brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez grow up overindulged in Beverly Hills and, thinking they will be cut off by their wealthy parents, they brutally kill their father and mother in their own home. Their defense for this heinous crime? They both claim they were sexually molested by their father, and they simply snapped. That is, of course, after one brother writes a movie script depicting the same scenario AND after they buy guns. This story was all over the news at the time, with the two clean-cut looking young men telling their tale to a packed courtroom as America watched on the fledgling Court TV channel. I had forgotten much of the detail, but it has been 25 years! Whether or not the “boys” (as they were referred to in court and in the press) told the truth about their motive cannot be proven, but the film recounts the details of the case in a two-hour documentary for which there is an unending supply of footage. Later this year an eight-part series is coming our way, so now I have finished the prerequisite for that course. It remains as compelling a case now as it was back then. 3½ cans.
66. Shop Girl* (2005) – This Steve Martin story is billed as a comedy, and, while it has its moments, I thought it was a sad and underplayed movie. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a lonely young woman who enjoys creating art but who supports herself by working as a clerk in the glove department at Saks in LA. She begins dating two completely different types of men at almost the same time. Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) is young and sloppy and unpolished. Ray Porter (Martin) is his opposite – poised, classy, wealthy and unable to commit to a relationship. Mirabelle seems all too eager and willing to give herself to either of these men. And though Ray is clear that he isn’t looking for a permanent relationship, she can’t help falling for him. Martin is far from the manic guy we are used to seeing, bursting with physicality. He so underplays the role that I wondered what – besides his money – drew Mirabelle to him. No more plot points. I know this movie is based on a short novel of Martin’s, and I always wanted to see it, but it did not live up to my expectations. 3 cans.
67. Churchill* (2017) – It is three days before D-Day in 1944, and the invasion of Normandy is ready to go under the Allied command of American General Dwight Eisenhower. Not so fast, says British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (Bryan Cox in an Oscar-worthy performance). Fearful of repeating the disaster that resulted in significant loss of life in Gallipoli in 1915, Churchill first counsels against the plan and then insists that he be on the first ship to land. As history shows, the plan went ahead (with Churchill on terra ferma), enabling the Allied forces to drive the Germans out of France and win World War II (if you can actually “win” a war…). Stooped over, shoulders hunched and surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke, Churchill is at once intimating yet feeble. The war and his duty have worn him down. With his wife getting the brunt of his brooding, he needs support and strength. He looks defeated before the invasion starts. But as a leader, Churchill knows he needs to rally himself and be strong for his country. This movie is an excellent character study and a reminder that war is hell. 4 cans.
68. Danny Collins* (2015) – Al Pacino plays aging rocker Danny Collins, a world-weary music headliner who spends too much time with younger women and too much money on drugs. Once a prodigy who claimed to be influenced by John Lennon, Danny is surprised when his manager gives him a letter he uncovered that Lennon wrote to Danny years before but that Danny never received. Just seeing that letter is enough to make Danny reconsider his choices and attempt to reconnect with the now-grown son he never knew (Bobby Canavale). Danny alternates between bombastic and charming, especially as he roosts at a New Jersey hotel and tries to win over its manager (Annette Bening in a part not really worthy of her skills as an actress). Danny is trying to be a dad and a grandfather but in reality, he’s an old rich guy whose groupies are as old as he is (hey, take a look at the crowd at a Rolling Stones concert sometime). Pacino hasn’t been a favorite of mine since “The Godfather,” but he plays this part well. 3 cans.
69. Definitely Maybe* (2008) – Ryan Reynolds is Will Hayes, a political consultant with a precocious 11-year old daughter (Abigail Breslin) who wants to know whether her mother Emily (Elizabeth Banks) is really her mother since Mom and Dad are divorcing. With some reluctance, Dad starts to share the story of the great loves of his life, all of whom came along at the wrong time or were the wrong people for him. Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher are his past girlfriends, both of whom he loved enough to marry but didn’t. This romantic comedy gets its juice from Reynolds’ extreme likeability. Very enjoyable for a light movie. 3½ cans.
70. The Book of Henry* (2017) – Talk about precocious kids (see above): Henry (Jayden Lieberher) is an 11-year old with more smarts and wisdom than most of the adults around him, including his loving but somewhat ditzy mother (Naomi Watts), a video game-playing waitress who wisely lets Henry manage her money. Henry and his younger brother (played by the adorable Jacob Tremblay, who was so memorable in “Room”) are good kids, but when Henry suspects that his friend next door (Maddie Ziegler) is being abused by her stepfather, he feels compelled to act. But who is going to take the word of a kid, especially when the suspect is a cop? This is a family story that slips into an unexpected suspense thriller with Henry’s plotting every move. More than one plot point was hard to believe, but the story held my attention and the acting was terrific. 3½ cans.
71. Fracture (2007) – I’ve written about this movie previously, but if you want to see a taut thriller with plenty of twists and turns, try this one. Willie Beachum (Ryan Gosling), an LA assistant prosecutor, has one foot out the door, headed to a cushy job at a prestigious law firm, when he catches the case of a man who has just been arrested for shooting his wife. The police have his signed confession and the murder weapon, so the case should be a quick and easy one for young Mr. Beachum, except that maybe they don’t. Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is a clever and sinister guy who has plotted out his cheating wife’s shooting and has enough smarts and moxie to derail the case against him. If you want to spend time watching a riveting movie – really watching, not playing Candy Crush on your phone – this is the movie for you. Plus, did I mention Ryan Gosling? 4½ cans.
72. The Departed (2006) – This intense drama is not for the faint of heart, and you had better pay attention when you watch it, because the action is fast and furious (oops, that’s a different movie…). Matt Damon is a cop who is really a mobster planted in the police department to give the inside dope (info, not drugs!) to the mob boss played by Jack Nicholson. Leonardo DiCaprio is also a cop but recruited by the higher ups for a secret mission that puts him in tight with the mob so he can rat out their activities to the cops. Lost yet? Both sides are sure there is a mole among them, and whom can you trust? DiCaprio’s Billy Costigan even does a stint in jail to make his background authentic enough to be trusted by the mob. Every time someone appears to be cornered and about to have his identity revealed, they somehow slither out of it. This is a Martin Scorsese movie, the man who gave us “Goodfellas,” so there is the requisite violence, shooting, bleeding and murder, along with the most frequent use of the “F” word that I can ever recall. Excellent cast, in addition to Damon and DiCaprio, with Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg. Tough to watch but worth the time. 4 cans.
73. The Wolf of Wall Street* (2013) – And speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, he gives an absolutely stunning performance again, here as Wall Street broker Jordan Belfort, a broker with a real edge. Jordan builds a business by hiring his childhood friends, all of whom favor bilking small investors and practicing non-stop debauchery. And the use of the F word proliferates here, too. Jonah Hill is Jordan’s right hand man, empowered to hire, fire and exploit staff or whomever is within shouting distance. I watched this movie because it was recommended by a friend, but I found the entire thing completely repugnant. The sets, the fast delivery of dialog and the acting here were all outstanding, but I absolutely hated the milieu depicted. For once, I could not even finish the movie, so my rating will be an incomplete.
74. Sleepless in Seattle (1994) – The sequel to this movie is “Sleepless in Somerset,” which accounts for why I was up at 5 AM one morning watching this great rom-com. The fabulous Tom Hanks is Sam, a widower with a young son, Jonah (Ross Malinger). When Jonah calls a radio station about his lonely and grieving father, women all over the country hear dear old dad and fall instantly in love. That includes Annie (Meg Ryan, when she looked like Meg Ryan), a Baltimore-based news writer engaged to a boring fiancée (Bill Pullman) who is intrigued by the man who proclaims he is sleepless in Seattle. The story takes its cue from the great Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr romance, “An Affair to Remember,” with its main characters promising to meet at New York’s Empire State Building. Hollywood has largely abandoned the romantic comedy in favor of the “franchise” movies, from “The Hunger Games” to all those “Star Wars” sequels and prequels, but I miss them! I’m not desperate enough to watch Lifetime or Hallmark movies of this ilk, because the classics, like this one, “While You Were Sleeping,” “When Harry Met Sally,” etc., were absolute charmers that continue to bring a smile to my face. Plus, this one has Hanks. 4 cans. And a nap, because I really am sleepless in Somerset.
75. The Bodyguard (1992) – It is impossible to see this movie and not feel a profound sense of loss over the premature death of star Whitney Houston. She was such a beautiful, talented and troubled woman, and seeing her here, lighting up the screen as fictional actress-singer Rachel Marron, reminded me of her extraordinary voice and promise. Rachel is being stalked so she hires former Secret Service agent Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner) to protect her. He’s all business, which annoys Rachel and her entourage as he tries to set up the level of protection he feels she needs. And then he falls for Rachel. He is after a stalker who seems just a little too professional, and with Rachel up for an Oscar, protecting her in a public venue will be a challenge even for Frank. Not a great movie, but good chemistry between Costner and Houston. And that voice! 3½ cans.
76. Wonder Woman* (2017) – Holy smokes, Batman! There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Descended from the badass Amazons on an island with no men, Diana is trained as a princess warrior, and if you catch one look at Gal Gadot, you will know why. She’s tough and fierce and absolutely stunning. She rescues American spy Steve (Chris Pine), who tells her about the raging World War he is trying to end and she’s ready to leave the island behind and roll right along with him. Along the way she demonstrates female empowerment, smarts, athleticism, naiveté and damn fine skills with a shield and a sword. Loud, violent (though not bloody in the least), inspiring, witty in parts and completely unbelievable, this movie is everything I hate about action movies – except that I loved it! I was cheering out loud even while I scoffed at Wonder Woman’s quick change from a formal dress to her WW ensemble, complete with bullet-rejecting wrist bands. Rock on with your bad self, Diana. I’m totally down for the sequel(s). 4 cans.
77. Lifeguard (1975) – Rick Carlson (Sam Elliott) has a great life: Lifeguard on the beach in South California by day, partying with stewardesses (this was the era before flight attendants), nurses and all measure of attractive young women at night, tooling around in his ‘Vette. He loves his job and takes it seriously, watching the beach, saving swimmers (he boasts a rate of “3 out of 5” when asked if he has saved anyone today), breaking up fights, and just taking time to think. But what is enough for Rick, now 15 years removed from his high school graduation, isn’t enough for other people. His friend Larry wants him to work in his car dealership, selling Porsches. And when he reconnects with his high school girlfriend Cathy (Anne Archer) at their Reunion, his “career” comes into question. Will he give up the surf and the sand and get a “real” job? Is his just being Rick Carlson enough for Cathy, a divorcee with a young son? I first saw this movie years ago and immediately loved it. Elliott is the perfect Rick, and when Archer looks at him, you see that she regrets the years they have been apart and wants him to be part of a happy life with her. Kathleen Quinlan plays Wendy, a lonely 17-year old with a major crush on Rick, and you feel her pain. What is adulting anyway? I picture Rick staying at the beach for a very long time to come. 4 cans.
78. Orange Is the New Black (2017) – OK, I know this isn’t a movie, but my readers have told me that they want to see more of my reviews, so I thought I would include season 5 of OITNB here. The new season picks up exactly where season 4 ended, with a riot among the inmates at Litchfield Prison, and the prisoners have the upper hand. There’s a gun and a shooting and major shifts in power. The main character in OITNB started out as Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), but she has lost much of her relevance as the story arcs of other characters have dominated the series. It seems to me they have to find things to incorporate her into the plotlines. I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but I can tell you that the entire season takes place in just a few days this time around, and there are new alliances, revelatory looks back on what happened to these women to get them to this awful place, and plenty of drama and humor. There is humanity and violence, caring and anger, all of which is reflective of our society as a whole. The season is perfectly set up for whole new characters and plots in Season 6 – but we have to wait a year to get there! Special plaudits for this year’s acting, especially to Danielle Brooks as Tastee and Uzo Aduba as Suzanne. If it were up to me, these characters would be in Litchfield for life, because I can’t get enough. 5 cans.
64. If You’re Not in the Obits, Eat Breakfast* (2017) – Actor, writer, director, raconteur and nonagenarian Carl Reiner takes center stage in this clever documentary about growing old but not extinct. Reiner, who created (with manic Mel Brooks) “The 2000 Year Old Man,” is still – like Brooks himself – writing, performing and keeping the world laughing. Reiner is joined here by other comic entertainers, like the still-spry Dick Van Dyke, Golden Girl Betty White, and TV and movie producer and legend Norman Lear, who insists that he gets applause just for showing up alive. This film is a tribute not just to longevity, but to a lifetime of laughter. When it comes to Reiner, I’ll have what he’s having. 3½ cans.
65. Blood Ties: The Mendendez Brothers* (2017) – If you were alive in the early 1990s, you will recall the “trial of the century” (which it remained until the OJ Simpson trial came along). Brief summary: Brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez grow up overindulged in Beverly Hills and, thinking they will be cut off by their wealthy parents, they brutally kill their father and mother in their own home. Their defense for this heinous crime? They both claim they were sexually molested by their father, and they simply snapped. That is, of course, after one brother writes a movie script depicting the same scenario AND after they buy guns. This story was all over the news at the time, with the two clean-cut looking young men telling their tale to a packed courtroom as America watched on the fledgling Court TV channel. I had forgotten much of the detail, but it has been 25 years! Whether or not the “boys” (as they were referred to in court and in the press) told the truth about their motive cannot be proven, but the film recounts the details of the case in a two-hour documentary for which there is an unending supply of footage. Later this year an eight-part series is coming our way, so now I have finished the prerequisite for that course. It remains as compelling a case now as it was back then. 3½ cans.
66. Shop Girl* (2005) – This Steve Martin story is billed as a comedy, and, while it has its moments, I thought it was a sad and underplayed movie. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a lonely young woman who enjoys creating art but who supports herself by working as a clerk in the glove department at Saks in LA. She begins dating two completely different types of men at almost the same time. Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) is young and sloppy and unpolished. Ray Porter (Martin) is his opposite – poised, classy, wealthy and unable to commit to a relationship. Mirabelle seems all too eager and willing to give herself to either of these men. And though Ray is clear that he isn’t looking for a permanent relationship, she can’t help falling for him. Martin is far from the manic guy we are used to seeing, bursting with physicality. He so underplays the role that I wondered what – besides his money – drew Mirabelle to him. No more plot points. I know this movie is based on a short novel of Martin’s, and I always wanted to see it, but it did not live up to my expectations. 3 cans.
67. Churchill* (2017) – It is three days before D-Day in 1944, and the invasion of Normandy is ready to go under the Allied command of American General Dwight Eisenhower. Not so fast, says British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (Bryan Cox in an Oscar-worthy performance). Fearful of repeating the disaster that resulted in significant loss of life in Gallipoli in 1915, Churchill first counsels against the plan and then insists that he be on the first ship to land. As history shows, the plan went ahead (with Churchill on terra ferma), enabling the Allied forces to drive the Germans out of France and win World War II (if you can actually “win” a war…). Stooped over, shoulders hunched and surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke, Churchill is at once intimating yet feeble. The war and his duty have worn him down. With his wife getting the brunt of his brooding, he needs support and strength. He looks defeated before the invasion starts. But as a leader, Churchill knows he needs to rally himself and be strong for his country. This movie is an excellent character study and a reminder that war is hell. 4 cans.
68. Danny Collins* (2015) – Al Pacino plays aging rocker Danny Collins, a world-weary music headliner who spends too much time with younger women and too much money on drugs. Once a prodigy who claimed to be influenced by John Lennon, Danny is surprised when his manager gives him a letter he uncovered that Lennon wrote to Danny years before but that Danny never received. Just seeing that letter is enough to make Danny reconsider his choices and attempt to reconnect with the now-grown son he never knew (Bobby Canavale). Danny alternates between bombastic and charming, especially as he roosts at a New Jersey hotel and tries to win over its manager (Annette Bening in a part not really worthy of her skills as an actress). Danny is trying to be a dad and a grandfather but in reality, he’s an old rich guy whose groupies are as old as he is (hey, take a look at the crowd at a Rolling Stones concert sometime). Pacino hasn’t been a favorite of mine since “The Godfather,” but he plays this part well. 3 cans.
69. Definitely Maybe* (2008) – Ryan Reynolds is Will Hayes, a political consultant with a precocious 11-year old daughter (Abigail Breslin) who wants to know whether her mother Emily (Elizabeth Banks) is really her mother since Mom and Dad are divorcing. With some reluctance, Dad starts to share the story of the great loves of his life, all of whom came along at the wrong time or were the wrong people for him. Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher are his past girlfriends, both of whom he loved enough to marry but didn’t. This romantic comedy gets its juice from Reynolds’ extreme likeability. Very enjoyable for a light movie. 3½ cans.
70. The Book of Henry* (2017) – Talk about precocious kids (see above): Henry (Jayden Lieberher) is an 11-year old with more smarts and wisdom than most of the adults around him, including his loving but somewhat ditzy mother (Naomi Watts), a video game-playing waitress who wisely lets Henry manage her money. Henry and his younger brother (played by the adorable Jacob Tremblay, who was so memorable in “Room”) are good kids, but when Henry suspects that his friend next door (Maddie Ziegler) is being abused by her stepfather, he feels compelled to act. But who is going to take the word of a kid, especially when the suspect is a cop? This is a family story that slips into an unexpected suspense thriller with Henry’s plotting every move. More than one plot point was hard to believe, but the story held my attention and the acting was terrific. 3½ cans.
71. Fracture (2007) – I’ve written about this movie previously, but if you want to see a taut thriller with plenty of twists and turns, try this one. Willie Beachum (Ryan Gosling), an LA assistant prosecutor, has one foot out the door, headed to a cushy job at a prestigious law firm, when he catches the case of a man who has just been arrested for shooting his wife. The police have his signed confession and the murder weapon, so the case should be a quick and easy one for young Mr. Beachum, except that maybe they don’t. Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is a clever and sinister guy who has plotted out his cheating wife’s shooting and has enough smarts and moxie to derail the case against him. If you want to spend time watching a riveting movie – really watching, not playing Candy Crush on your phone – this is the movie for you. Plus, did I mention Ryan Gosling? 4½ cans.
72. The Departed (2006) – This intense drama is not for the faint of heart, and you had better pay attention when you watch it, because the action is fast and furious (oops, that’s a different movie…). Matt Damon is a cop who is really a mobster planted in the police department to give the inside dope (info, not drugs!) to the mob boss played by Jack Nicholson. Leonardo DiCaprio is also a cop but recruited by the higher ups for a secret mission that puts him in tight with the mob so he can rat out their activities to the cops. Lost yet? Both sides are sure there is a mole among them, and whom can you trust? DiCaprio’s Billy Costigan even does a stint in jail to make his background authentic enough to be trusted by the mob. Every time someone appears to be cornered and about to have his identity revealed, they somehow slither out of it. This is a Martin Scorsese movie, the man who gave us “Goodfellas,” so there is the requisite violence, shooting, bleeding and murder, along with the most frequent use of the “F” word that I can ever recall. Excellent cast, in addition to Damon and DiCaprio, with Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg. Tough to watch but worth the time. 4 cans.
73. The Wolf of Wall Street* (2013) – And speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, he gives an absolutely stunning performance again, here as Wall Street broker Jordan Belfort, a broker with a real edge. Jordan builds a business by hiring his childhood friends, all of whom favor bilking small investors and practicing non-stop debauchery. And the use of the F word proliferates here, too. Jonah Hill is Jordan’s right hand man, empowered to hire, fire and exploit staff or whomever is within shouting distance. I watched this movie because it was recommended by a friend, but I found the entire thing completely repugnant. The sets, the fast delivery of dialog and the acting here were all outstanding, but I absolutely hated the milieu depicted. For once, I could not even finish the movie, so my rating will be an incomplete.
74. Sleepless in Seattle (1994) – The sequel to this movie is “Sleepless in Somerset,” which accounts for why I was up at 5 AM one morning watching this great rom-com. The fabulous Tom Hanks is Sam, a widower with a young son, Jonah (Ross Malinger). When Jonah calls a radio station about his lonely and grieving father, women all over the country hear dear old dad and fall instantly in love. That includes Annie (Meg Ryan, when she looked like Meg Ryan), a Baltimore-based news writer engaged to a boring fiancée (Bill Pullman) who is intrigued by the man who proclaims he is sleepless in Seattle. The story takes its cue from the great Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr romance, “An Affair to Remember,” with its main characters promising to meet at New York’s Empire State Building. Hollywood has largely abandoned the romantic comedy in favor of the “franchise” movies, from “The Hunger Games” to all those “Star Wars” sequels and prequels, but I miss them! I’m not desperate enough to watch Lifetime or Hallmark movies of this ilk, because the classics, like this one, “While You Were Sleeping,” “When Harry Met Sally,” etc., were absolute charmers that continue to bring a smile to my face. Plus, this one has Hanks. 4 cans. And a nap, because I really am sleepless in Somerset.
75. The Bodyguard (1992) – It is impossible to see this movie and not feel a profound sense of loss over the premature death of star Whitney Houston. She was such a beautiful, talented and troubled woman, and seeing her here, lighting up the screen as fictional actress-singer Rachel Marron, reminded me of her extraordinary voice and promise. Rachel is being stalked so she hires former Secret Service agent Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner) to protect her. He’s all business, which annoys Rachel and her entourage as he tries to set up the level of protection he feels she needs. And then he falls for Rachel. He is after a stalker who seems just a little too professional, and with Rachel up for an Oscar, protecting her in a public venue will be a challenge even for Frank. Not a great movie, but good chemistry between Costner and Houston. And that voice! 3½ cans.
76. Wonder Woman* (2017) – Holy smokes, Batman! There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Descended from the badass Amazons on an island with no men, Diana is trained as a princess warrior, and if you catch one look at Gal Gadot, you will know why. She’s tough and fierce and absolutely stunning. She rescues American spy Steve (Chris Pine), who tells her about the raging World War he is trying to end and she’s ready to leave the island behind and roll right along with him. Along the way she demonstrates female empowerment, smarts, athleticism, naiveté and damn fine skills with a shield and a sword. Loud, violent (though not bloody in the least), inspiring, witty in parts and completely unbelievable, this movie is everything I hate about action movies – except that I loved it! I was cheering out loud even while I scoffed at Wonder Woman’s quick change from a formal dress to her WW ensemble, complete with bullet-rejecting wrist bands. Rock on with your bad self, Diana. I’m totally down for the sequel(s). 4 cans.
77. Lifeguard (1975) – Rick Carlson (Sam Elliott) has a great life: Lifeguard on the beach in South California by day, partying with stewardesses (this was the era before flight attendants), nurses and all measure of attractive young women at night, tooling around in his ‘Vette. He loves his job and takes it seriously, watching the beach, saving swimmers (he boasts a rate of “3 out of 5” when asked if he has saved anyone today), breaking up fights, and just taking time to think. But what is enough for Rick, now 15 years removed from his high school graduation, isn’t enough for other people. His friend Larry wants him to work in his car dealership, selling Porsches. And when he reconnects with his high school girlfriend Cathy (Anne Archer) at their Reunion, his “career” comes into question. Will he give up the surf and the sand and get a “real” job? Is his just being Rick Carlson enough for Cathy, a divorcee with a young son? I first saw this movie years ago and immediately loved it. Elliott is the perfect Rick, and when Archer looks at him, you see that she regrets the years they have been apart and wants him to be part of a happy life with her. Kathleen Quinlan plays Wendy, a lonely 17-year old with a major crush on Rick, and you feel her pain. What is adulting anyway? I picture Rick staying at the beach for a very long time to come. 4 cans.
78. Orange Is the New Black (2017) – OK, I know this isn’t a movie, but my readers have told me that they want to see more of my reviews, so I thought I would include season 5 of OITNB here. The new season picks up exactly where season 4 ended, with a riot among the inmates at Litchfield Prison, and the prisoners have the upper hand. There’s a gun and a shooting and major shifts in power. The main character in OITNB started out as Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), but she has lost much of her relevance as the story arcs of other characters have dominated the series. It seems to me they have to find things to incorporate her into the plotlines. I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but I can tell you that the entire season takes place in just a few days this time around, and there are new alliances, revelatory looks back on what happened to these women to get them to this awful place, and plenty of drama and humor. There is humanity and violence, caring and anger, all of which is reflective of our society as a whole. The season is perfectly set up for whole new characters and plots in Season 6 – but we have to wait a year to get there! Special plaudits for this year’s acting, especially to Danielle Brooks as Tastee and Uzo Aduba as Suzanne. If it were up to me, these characters would be in Litchfield for life, because I can’t get enough. 5 cans.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
June Jewels
Why is it SO EASY to find typos in a post, email or text AFTER you send it?
Haven’t we all left enough voice mail messages that we could do without the instructions reminding us to wait after the tone and leave our message? By now, is there anyone alive who actually needs to know how to leave a message? I think we all know the drill.
You know you need to lose weight when your socks feel tight.
Does this happen to you? You suddenly find a bump or bruise you didn’t know you had, or a cut suddenly appears that you don’t remember happening. I can never figure out what I did this time to cause a cut or bruise.
You know you are impatient – or overbooked – when you can’t wait for the toaster to pop and you can’t find 30 quiet minutes to use teeth-whitening strips.
How is it that I can wake up at 5 AM and still be late for my 10 AM aqua aerobics class?
True confessions: As much as I loved the Beatles and Paul was my fave, I really never liked Wings as a band. Now that Sirius Radio has added the Beatles station to its lineup, that’s all they seem to play. Maybe more of the credit for all those Lennon-McCartney songs I loved should have gone to John, or maybe it’s just that after the Beatles broke up, I never got over it. You know, since 1969.
Remember the good old days, when you could buy vitamins without having to read the box for 10 minutes? Now I have to find the multivitamin-mineral supplement for women over age 50 in the smaller size (that last part is not a necessity but is preferable). Tell me again the advantages of growing older?
Why is there always that one thread or piece of lint that manages to fend off the powerful suction of the vacuum cleaner and remain affixed to the floor? You go over it and over it until you finally are forced to bend down and pick it up. But then, what do you do with it? You toss it lightly back on the floor to see if NOW the vacuum will suck it up. God forbid you walk to the trash can and toss it in.
I want a nap more than anything. And a good, sharp utility knife, one that slices through cardboard like a hot knife through a stick of butter. #modestgoals
Is there a legal limit on how tired someone can be? Because I think I may just have exceeded it.
You know you’re getting old when you go to the beach with your friends and someone is either reading AARP Bulletin or telling you about an article she read in it that you just have to see.
Don’t you love those disclaimers for drugs advertised on TV? “Caution, this product may cause constipation or diarrhea.” OK, which is it? And I especially love the line that says, “Do not use drug XYZ if you are allergic to drug XYZ.” How do you know you are allergic to the drug until you take it?
Passwords: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Some call for a minimum number of letters, or some require letters and symbols, and you can’t use what you previously used, and you don’t want to make obvious choices (like your birthday or the name of your pet). Sometimes you are required to change them every certain number of days/months. It is SO HARD to remember them all, and you aren’t supposed to write them down where someone would have access to them (although the person who NEEDS access to them is YOU). Passwords are the bane of modern existence. That might make a good one: Baneofmodernexi3tense.
As I walked out of Lowe’s recently, the cashier said to me, “And don’t forget to take our online survey.” As if I have nothing better to do than to log onto my computer (see above), find the Lowe’s website and take their survey. Of course, if I had experienced bad customer service or found something to which to object, you can be sure I would have found the time to take the stupid survey and embellish it with a few choice words.
And speaking of Lowe’s/Home Depot, here’s a story a friend shared with me. She was in the Garden Center and asked where she could find peat moss. “I don’t know who Pete Moss is,” the worker answered. So much for expert gardening help.
If there is a limit on how many HGTV shows one can watch in a single day, I may have exceeded it. This morning I watched a program on bargain lakefront vacation home renovations??? I see more of Chip and Joanna than I see of my family. These HGTV shows are as addictive as a bag of potato chips!
It’s funny how when I lived on Joshua Drive, EVERYONE asked me how to spell it, but no one ever asks how to spell Constitution, the street where I now live. Really, folks, you couldn’t figure out how to spell Joshua? How many variations could there be? It is spelled exactly how it sounds. I guess I’m relieved that people actually are aware that we have a Constitution in this country and that they can spell the word. (Well, there may be a citizen on Pennsylvania Avenue who is not familiar with it and probably can’t spell it, either…)
I am fascinated by the popularity of “The Golden Girls” among women much younger than me. This was an ‘80s show, and one I watched and loved when I was younger (in my 30s), but I would think it would be so dated to the Gen X viewers. Yet I know so many young people who love it, I assume because of the strong friendships among the women. It is a classic!
You know you’re losing it when you find the apples stashed in the pantry next to the red potatoes because they look similar.
I love watching “So You Think You Can Dance” with the very talented (and flexible) contestants doing things with their bodies that I cannot imagine trying. I’d settle for a stint on “So You Think You Can Get Up From the Floor Without Assistance” – if only I actually could.
Haven’t we all left enough voice mail messages that we could do without the instructions reminding us to wait after the tone and leave our message? By now, is there anyone alive who actually needs to know how to leave a message? I think we all know the drill.
You know you need to lose weight when your socks feel tight.
Does this happen to you? You suddenly find a bump or bruise you didn’t know you had, or a cut suddenly appears that you don’t remember happening. I can never figure out what I did this time to cause a cut or bruise.
You know you are impatient – or overbooked – when you can’t wait for the toaster to pop and you can’t find 30 quiet minutes to use teeth-whitening strips.
How is it that I can wake up at 5 AM and still be late for my 10 AM aqua aerobics class?
True confessions: As much as I loved the Beatles and Paul was my fave, I really never liked Wings as a band. Now that Sirius Radio has added the Beatles station to its lineup, that’s all they seem to play. Maybe more of the credit for all those Lennon-McCartney songs I loved should have gone to John, or maybe it’s just that after the Beatles broke up, I never got over it. You know, since 1969.
Remember the good old days, when you could buy vitamins without having to read the box for 10 minutes? Now I have to find the multivitamin-mineral supplement for women over age 50 in the smaller size (that last part is not a necessity but is preferable). Tell me again the advantages of growing older?
Why is there always that one thread or piece of lint that manages to fend off the powerful suction of the vacuum cleaner and remain affixed to the floor? You go over it and over it until you finally are forced to bend down and pick it up. But then, what do you do with it? You toss it lightly back on the floor to see if NOW the vacuum will suck it up. God forbid you walk to the trash can and toss it in.
I want a nap more than anything. And a good, sharp utility knife, one that slices through cardboard like a hot knife through a stick of butter. #modestgoals
Is there a legal limit on how tired someone can be? Because I think I may just have exceeded it.
You know you’re getting old when you go to the beach with your friends and someone is either reading AARP Bulletin or telling you about an article she read in it that you just have to see.
Don’t you love those disclaimers for drugs advertised on TV? “Caution, this product may cause constipation or diarrhea.” OK, which is it? And I especially love the line that says, “Do not use drug XYZ if you are allergic to drug XYZ.” How do you know you are allergic to the drug until you take it?
Passwords: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Some call for a minimum number of letters, or some require letters and symbols, and you can’t use what you previously used, and you don’t want to make obvious choices (like your birthday or the name of your pet). Sometimes you are required to change them every certain number of days/months. It is SO HARD to remember them all, and you aren’t supposed to write them down where someone would have access to them (although the person who NEEDS access to them is YOU). Passwords are the bane of modern existence. That might make a good one: Baneofmodernexi3tense.
As I walked out of Lowe’s recently, the cashier said to me, “And don’t forget to take our online survey.” As if I have nothing better to do than to log onto my computer (see above), find the Lowe’s website and take their survey. Of course, if I had experienced bad customer service or found something to which to object, you can be sure I would have found the time to take the stupid survey and embellish it with a few choice words.
And speaking of Lowe’s/Home Depot, here’s a story a friend shared with me. She was in the Garden Center and asked where she could find peat moss. “I don’t know who Pete Moss is,” the worker answered. So much for expert gardening help.
If there is a limit on how many HGTV shows one can watch in a single day, I may have exceeded it. This morning I watched a program on bargain lakefront vacation home renovations??? I see more of Chip and Joanna than I see of my family. These HGTV shows are as addictive as a bag of potato chips!
It’s funny how when I lived on Joshua Drive, EVERYONE asked me how to spell it, but no one ever asks how to spell Constitution, the street where I now live. Really, folks, you couldn’t figure out how to spell Joshua? How many variations could there be? It is spelled exactly how it sounds. I guess I’m relieved that people actually are aware that we have a Constitution in this country and that they can spell the word. (Well, there may be a citizen on Pennsylvania Avenue who is not familiar with it and probably can’t spell it, either…)
I am fascinated by the popularity of “The Golden Girls” among women much younger than me. This was an ‘80s show, and one I watched and loved when I was younger (in my 30s), but I would think it would be so dated to the Gen X viewers. Yet I know so many young people who love it, I assume because of the strong friendships among the women. It is a classic!
You know you’re losing it when you find the apples stashed in the pantry next to the red potatoes because they look similar.
I love watching “So You Think You Can Dance” with the very talented (and flexible) contestants doing things with their bodies that I cannot imagine trying. I’d settle for a stint on “So You Think You Can Get Up From the Floor Without Assistance” – if only I actually could.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tina's May 2017 Movies
Here we go, folks, with a look at the 16 movies I watched this month. They are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna fish, 5 being the top mark. Movies marked with an * are those I had not seen previously, and numbering picks up from last month.
48. Legally Blonde (2001) – Reese Witherspoon bursts onto the screen in this movie about a sorority girl who decides to follow her ex-boyfriend to Harvard Law School and enroll to win him back. Blessed with a 4.0 average and a way to win over recruiters, her Elle Woods has no problem gaining admission. Getting adjusted is a bit more of a challenge, but Elle is more than just adorable. She is plenty resourceful and smarter than even she knows. Will she win the boyfriend back, and does she really want to settle for someone who dumped her because she is “too blonde?” There is nothing profound here, but it is great fun to watch Elle Woods in action. 3½ cans.
49. Harry Benson: Shoot First* – Imagine being on the scene, armed with a camera, at some of the most memorable moments in history. Harry Benson was a photojournalist who became a celebrity photographer – not one of the unpopular paparazzi, but an invited guest brought in to record history in the making. From his pictures of the Beatles landing in the US to his photos of President Nixon waving from the helicopter as he departs the White House to his shot of Senator Bobby Kennedy on lying shot on the floor of a hotel in California, where he was assassinated, Benson was there, adding his skill to capture the moment memorably and build our collective retrospective of iconic moments. He took pictures of every famous person you can name, from chess master Bobby Fischer to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson with the great Muhammad Ali, all four of the Beatles fooling around together. These are legendary photos of legendary people taken by one of the most legendary photographers of his time. 4 cans of film.
50. Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer* (2017) – Richard Gere is the title character, Norman, a “fixer” – more like a fixer-upper, really – whose work is to forge connections between people of influence. In this case, Norman somehow aligns himself with the man who a few years later becomes the Prime Minister of Israel, closing the deal on their friendship by buying him a very expensive shoes. Norman is not above stalking his prey on the street where they live or where they run, all trying to broker relationships and deals between them. He overplays and overstates his own importance, so when his synagogue needs $14 million to save its building from destruction, he “seems” to have an anonymous donor for half the needed funds. It’s hard to pin Norman down, to have him explain exactly what he does as a businessman/consultant. I found him brash and desperate, not quite on the “Glengarry Glen Ross” scale, but clearly losing his influence or unable to reach the people he needs to keep playing the game. At least here, Gere is no longer the sexy young man or the handsome, silver fox. He appears smaller and with much less charm and power than ever before. Maybe it is my distaste for power brokers and people who seem to generate nothing of real value, but I found the movie unduly complex and somewhat annoying. Bring back that gorgeous Gere I used to love. 2½ cans.
51. The Great Gilly Hopkins* (2015) – Sometimes she is a sullen teenager, and other times she is a feisty but caring young woman truly lost in life. Gilly (Sophie Nelisse) never knew her mother and has bounced around foster homes, so she is naturally suspicious and withdrawn when she arrives on the doorstep of the relentlessly cheerful and devout Mrs. Trotter (Kathy Bates), a veteran foster mother who already has a young boy living in her house. Gilly can be nasty and she certainly doesn’t take any guff. Her goal is to find her birth mother, and she sends a note disparaging her current living situation as she runs away to reunite with her long-missing mom. When her grandmother (Glen Close) arrives to reclaim her, she realizes that the Trotter house is her home and these people (including the blind next door neighbor who comes for dinner every night) are the family she craves. Gilly is a tough kid to love, and she has faced so much adversity in her short life. Will she be able to stay with the people who love her? I liked this movie despite its sometimes overwrought moments. 3 cans.
52. The Bridges of Madison County (1995) – Every now and then, I just HAVE to see this perfect little movie. The plot is simple: A photographer (Clint Eastwood) passing through Iowa to take pictures of bridges meets housewife and mother Francesca (the glorious Meryl Streep) and over a four-day period, they fall deeply in love. But she can’t abandon her family (which is conveniently out of town when they meet) any more than she will ever forget that brief interlude when she stopped being a mother/wife and reclaimed her status as a woman. Beautifully shot, this movie is all about subtlety – a small hand gesture here, a bowed head there. As her grown children go through Francesca’s belongings after her death, they learn about this unknown chapter in their mother’s life and it forces them to not only reconsider her but to reexamine their own lives and relationships. Meryl can do no wrong. 5 cans.
53. The Color of Money (1986) – Fast Eddie Felson (Paul Newman) isn’t quite so fast anymore. The former pool shark now shills for other players, and Vincent (Tom Cruise) is his prodigy. But Vincent has an ego as big as his towering head of hair, and he doesn’t want to lose, despite Eddie’s advice that you have to lose sometimes in order to set up the next score and win big. In pool, it is all about the con, the hustle and the dump to raise the stakes for a better payoff. Eddie’s wisdom faces off against Vincent’s braggadocio, and who will really be the hustler here? The coolest thing about this movie is the range of pool shots these guys make. How’d they do that? 3½ cans.
54. Passengers* (2016) – I’ll admit right up front that I have trouble suspending my sense of reality (I could barely tolerate watching “Gilligan’s Island”), so watching this science fiction film seems like an unlikely choice for me. However, Chris Pratt is one of the Chris stars I like, and Jennifer Lawrence is everywhere these days, so I decided to give it a try. The premise is that a contingent of passengers have left earth to travel on a spaceship bound for a new home. They are in suspended animation during the trip, which is scheduled to take decades. But the sleep pod containing Pratt’s Jim malfunctions, and he wakes up 90 years early (I feel ya, man). Alone on the ship, surrounded by other humans in their sleep pods, he makes friends with the automaton bartender (Michael Sheen) and tries to keep himself busy. But the sleeping beauty Aurora (Lawrence) is too tempting, so he finds a way to interrupt her beauty sleep and, as you can guess, they bond. The spaceship is pretty cool, and somehow is stocked with all of the clothes (and, in Aurora’s case, make-up and jewelry) that one would need during interstellar travel. I won’t give anything away, except to say that despite my inability to suspend my sense of reality, I found this view of life in space a blast. 3½ cans.
55. A Walk on the Moon (1999) – Start with Diane Lane, an actress that I love. She plays Pearl Kantrowitz, and she, her mother-in-law (Tovah Feldshah) and her kids are spending the summer of 1969 at a very modest camp/resort in the Catskills while hubby Marty (Liev Schreiber) schelps back and forth to the city to his job repairing TV sets. Pregnant at a very early age, Pearl now feels bored and trapped in her role as wife and mother, so when the Blouse Man (Viggo Mortensen) shows up in his magic bus, she’s receptive to flirting. She is living at a time when feminism is making women rethink their roles, a time when Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, and when the Woodstock music festival is taking place nearby. Both Pearl and her teenage daughter are curious about what else there is for them as women and eager to stretch their wings. I love this movie, with its authenticity about the era, the sexual awakening of the two women, the fear of growth and of loss. I love the announcements about the arrival of the knish man (voiced by Julie Kavner, of Marge Simpson and “Rhoda” fame), I love the acting and seeing the characters watch in awe as Armstrong takes that giant step for mankind (and Pearl takes a pretty major step of her own). What a time in history, and what a way to combine that era and these characters! 4 cans.
56. The Wizard of Lies* (2017) – This HBO dramatization of the real story of disgraced investment mogul Bernie Madoff doesn’t break new ground, but it provides a deservedly harsh look at a man whose Ponzi scheme cost his investors millions of dollars. For years, Madoff (Robert DeNiro) persuaded people to give him their money so he could invest it for them. His firm employed his own sons, who were unaware of the fact that the trades, the statements -- everything -- were lies. His elaborate fraud went undetected for years, as investors enjoyed better than average returns, never realizing that he was using the new money to pay off the earlier investors. Madoff was a genius when it came to making people beg him to take their money. The many victims here lost their life savings thanks to his greed and hubris – he did not want to lose – ever. In the end, he lost it all. And even as he pleaded guilty, he maintained that the investor themselves were responsible at least in part because of their own greed. He destroyed lives, including that of his family, and ended up in jail, where he will finish his days alone. Well done, Bernie. 4 cans.
57. About Alex* (2015) – A cast of 20-somethings attempts to recreate the angst and vibe of the classic “The Big Chill” here but comes up short. A group of college friends with varying relationships gathers after the suicide attempt of one of their own. Alex (Jason Ritter)
– the same name as the successful suicide friend in TBC – is lonely and needs his friends, all of whom show up when his attempt to kill himself doesn’t work. There are couples and would-be couples and plenty of history between and among the group here, none of whom are as established as the crew in “The Big Chill.” They aren’t as interesting, either. And the soundtrack from “The Big Chill” stands alone. Sorry, but I found it impossible to watch this movie without referring back to a much better and previous telling of a very similar story. That one gets 4 cans. This one? 2 cans.
58. Princess Diana – Her Life, Her Death and the Truth* (2017) – It is hard to believe that nearly 20 years have passed since the shocking death of Princess Diana of Great Britain. This CBS program examines her less-than-charmed life, marrying England’s most eligible bachelor, Prince Charles, having two sons, and enduring the humiliation of his affair with Camilla Parker Bowles. But the heart of this program is the examination of Diana’s death, along with the man she was dating at the time, Dodi El-Fayed, in a suspicious crash in a tunnel in Paris. Fleeing paparazzi and traveling far above the speed limit, their car sideswiped a vehicle as it entered the tunnel and crashed into a barrier, killing Diana and Dodi along with their driver Henri Paul. Tests later proved that Paul was drinking drunk, and that the accident was not a conspiracy by the Royals who forsook Diana after her divorce from Charles. The show looks at her life, her relationships, how she became a Princess, her ancestral home, and her kindness and generosity to the afflicted and underprivileged, traits that are continued by her sons. I forgot how simply beautiful she was, and how unhappy. 3½ cans.
59. Dirty Dancing* (2017) – The big question here is why, ABC? Why remake a classic? Why make us endure it for three hours? And why cast someone (Abigail Breslin) so completely unsuited for this role? Breslin plays the Jennifer Grey part of “Baby” Houseman, a bright but unworldly girl who falls in love with Johnny Castle (Cole Prattes), the dance instructor at Kellerman’s Catskills resort. The appalling casting casts a pall over the entire movie because there is no chemistry between the leads, because she looks much younger than 18 (and is dressed in such dowdy clothes that her wardrobe looks 45) and because his falling for her is about as likely as Ryan Gosling actually being my next husband. There are a few differences in the plot here, which we all know so well. Baby’s parents (Bruce Greenwood and Debra Messing) have meatier roles than the parents in the original and they are going through marital troubles. And Johnny himself turns out to have gotten into enough trouble as a youth that he ended up doing jail time. The characters also get to sing some of the songs. The dancing overall is OK, but Prattes is no Patrick Swayze and Breslin? Decorum prevents me from truthfully commenting on her lack of dance prowess. And I cannot neglect to mention the most egregious faux pas of all, when the waiter in the dining room of Kellermans’s offers Baby’s father a pastrami sandwich, which he says they serve with cole slaw and mayo. Mayo? On a pastrami sandwich? No respectable Jewish joint would EVER serve pastrami with mayo. Sacrilegious! The only saving grace here was that I watched it with a friend, and together we had the time of our lives. We just didn’t do the lift. And when Baby and Johnny do it, she looked like she was about to bowl him over and flatten him. This movie wasn’t as good as “Sharknado,” no less the original Dirty Dancing. 1 can.
60. The Keepers* (2017) – This engrossing series comes from Netflix, the folks who offered up an equally compelling documentary last year, “The Making of a Murder.” Like the earlier series, this 7-part program tackles a murder. In 1969, a young nun teaching at Archbishop Keogh High School near Baltimore goes missing and two months later her murdered body is found. The case remains unsolved, but two of the now-grown women who were students at the school, Abbie Schaub and Gemma Hoskins, join forces to examine the case. They sort through newspaper articles and TV clips, determined to unearth the truth. They interview anyone involved with the victim and the school. It turns out that the attractive young woman, Sister Cathy Cesnick, might have been about to blow the whistle on the school counselor, a priest named Father Maskell, who was abusing a number of the girls in the school. For years, the murder went unsolved, and Maskell continued his horrifying acts with young Catholic girls who were too afraid and too ashamed to come forward. This documentary covers the case and their stories in great detail – almost too much detail. It wasn’t until years later, in the 1990, that one of the young victims of the abuse starts to recall the memories of the trauma she suffered and, along with another victim, turns to the courts. Old crimes are hard enough to prove, but given the power of the Catholic Church in Baltimore, this case was almost impossible. The amateur investigators start a Facebook page that ultimately opens the door to many other former students who suffered at the hands of the abusive priest. As in the Oscar-winning movie ”Spotlight,” the list grows, and so does the cover-up by the Archdiocese. Meanwhile, the crime, and any justice for Sister Cathy, begins to fade. This is a fascinating and disturbing tale of morally reprehensible people who are allowed to continue to have access to children and who get away with their abuse by terrorizing them into silence. I thought this program would move along better if there had been a voiceover narrator rather than using so many long set-up shots, but the number and depth of the interviews with the principals in the story carries the narrative well. Not for the faint of heart. 4 cans.
61. Broken Flowers* (2005) – I always thought that no one can do nothing better than me, but Bill Murray comes in a close second. Here he is Don Johnston, a computer mogul who doesn’t own a computer and who is content to sit on his couch listening to music and doing, well, nothing. One day he receives an unsigned letter from a former girlfriend – of whom there are many – letting him know that after they broke up, she discovered she was pregnant. She never told him, and she raised the son on her own. Now, she says, she thinks her son might be looking for his father. Don is hardly flummoxed by this news. He is so unmoved that you’d think the letter said there was a Macy’s One Day Sale. But his neighbor Winston (Jeffrey Wright) is captivated by the news and plots out an itinerary for Don to visit each of his former girlfriends who might be the author of the mysterious letter. Don visits each one, crossing all but one off the list of potential mothers. In small parts, they are Sharon Stone, Julie Delphy, Jessica Lange and Tilda Swinton, each with her own life, some of which are modestly amusing (Lange is an “animal communicator”). With his deadpan expression and less dialog than Tom Hanks while stranded on that deserted island in “Cast Away,” Murray is the perfect actor for this understated role. Which doesn’t mean I liked or recommend the movie – unless you are a huge Bill Murray fan. I liked him better in “St. Vincent,” where he was equally unmoved, a bit of a reprobate, but ultimately a good guy. 3 cans. Barely.
62. The Lovers* (2017) – Michael (Tracey Letts) is a philandering husband, constantly contacting his aggrieved wife Mary (a hardly-recognizable Debra Winger) with excuses so he can spend time with his paramour Lucy (Melora Walters). But Mary seems relieved, because she is involved in an extramarital affair of her own, with younger and hunkier Robert (Aidan Gillen). Although Michael and Mary reside in the same house, their paths barely cross, and both of them know this sham of a marriage is nearing an end. They – and their partners – are just waiting for their son Joel (Tyler Ross) to come home for a visit so they can tell him in person. But somewhere along the way to resolution, Michael and Mary find each other again and start a fervent romance, with each lying to their other lover to spend time together. What exactly IS fidelity anyway, you might ask. Is it cheating if you are secretly having an “affair” with your own spouse? There were people chuckling in the theater, but the movie never elicited that response from me. It was a story I had never seen or considered before, and I felt real sadness for the characters (particularly Winger as Mary, with lines of anguish etched into her face). Different isn’t necessarily bad, but it isn’t necessarily good, either. 3 cans.
63. The Great Escape (1963) – No, this is NOT a vacation flick. It is about a group of military prisoners of war at a German prison camp in WWII who bond together and dig their way out. Back in the day, films used to be made that included large casts of notable names. Here we have James Garner (his war movie “36 Hours” is even better than this one), Steve McQueen, Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson, James Coburn and many more as the imprisoned men who cleverly manage to dig their way out of the camp and back into society. But will their escape stand? Or will their new identities hold up? This movie is based on a true story and brings humor and humanity to an otherwise life-threatening and dismal situation. Great performance all around. 3½ cans.
48. Legally Blonde (2001) – Reese Witherspoon bursts onto the screen in this movie about a sorority girl who decides to follow her ex-boyfriend to Harvard Law School and enroll to win him back. Blessed with a 4.0 average and a way to win over recruiters, her Elle Woods has no problem gaining admission. Getting adjusted is a bit more of a challenge, but Elle is more than just adorable. She is plenty resourceful and smarter than even she knows. Will she win the boyfriend back, and does she really want to settle for someone who dumped her because she is “too blonde?” There is nothing profound here, but it is great fun to watch Elle Woods in action. 3½ cans.
49. Harry Benson: Shoot First* – Imagine being on the scene, armed with a camera, at some of the most memorable moments in history. Harry Benson was a photojournalist who became a celebrity photographer – not one of the unpopular paparazzi, but an invited guest brought in to record history in the making. From his pictures of the Beatles landing in the US to his photos of President Nixon waving from the helicopter as he departs the White House to his shot of Senator Bobby Kennedy on lying shot on the floor of a hotel in California, where he was assassinated, Benson was there, adding his skill to capture the moment memorably and build our collective retrospective of iconic moments. He took pictures of every famous person you can name, from chess master Bobby Fischer to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson with the great Muhammad Ali, all four of the Beatles fooling around together. These are legendary photos of legendary people taken by one of the most legendary photographers of his time. 4 cans of film.
50. Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer* (2017) – Richard Gere is the title character, Norman, a “fixer” – more like a fixer-upper, really – whose work is to forge connections between people of influence. In this case, Norman somehow aligns himself with the man who a few years later becomes the Prime Minister of Israel, closing the deal on their friendship by buying him a very expensive shoes. Norman is not above stalking his prey on the street where they live or where they run, all trying to broker relationships and deals between them. He overplays and overstates his own importance, so when his synagogue needs $14 million to save its building from destruction, he “seems” to have an anonymous donor for half the needed funds. It’s hard to pin Norman down, to have him explain exactly what he does as a businessman/consultant. I found him brash and desperate, not quite on the “Glengarry Glen Ross” scale, but clearly losing his influence or unable to reach the people he needs to keep playing the game. At least here, Gere is no longer the sexy young man or the handsome, silver fox. He appears smaller and with much less charm and power than ever before. Maybe it is my distaste for power brokers and people who seem to generate nothing of real value, but I found the movie unduly complex and somewhat annoying. Bring back that gorgeous Gere I used to love. 2½ cans.
51. The Great Gilly Hopkins* (2015) – Sometimes she is a sullen teenager, and other times she is a feisty but caring young woman truly lost in life. Gilly (Sophie Nelisse) never knew her mother and has bounced around foster homes, so she is naturally suspicious and withdrawn when she arrives on the doorstep of the relentlessly cheerful and devout Mrs. Trotter (Kathy Bates), a veteran foster mother who already has a young boy living in her house. Gilly can be nasty and she certainly doesn’t take any guff. Her goal is to find her birth mother, and she sends a note disparaging her current living situation as she runs away to reunite with her long-missing mom. When her grandmother (Glen Close) arrives to reclaim her, she realizes that the Trotter house is her home and these people (including the blind next door neighbor who comes for dinner every night) are the family she craves. Gilly is a tough kid to love, and she has faced so much adversity in her short life. Will she be able to stay with the people who love her? I liked this movie despite its sometimes overwrought moments. 3 cans.
52. The Bridges of Madison County (1995) – Every now and then, I just HAVE to see this perfect little movie. The plot is simple: A photographer (Clint Eastwood) passing through Iowa to take pictures of bridges meets housewife and mother Francesca (the glorious Meryl Streep) and over a four-day period, they fall deeply in love. But she can’t abandon her family (which is conveniently out of town when they meet) any more than she will ever forget that brief interlude when she stopped being a mother/wife and reclaimed her status as a woman. Beautifully shot, this movie is all about subtlety – a small hand gesture here, a bowed head there. As her grown children go through Francesca’s belongings after her death, they learn about this unknown chapter in their mother’s life and it forces them to not only reconsider her but to reexamine their own lives and relationships. Meryl can do no wrong. 5 cans.
53. The Color of Money (1986) – Fast Eddie Felson (Paul Newman) isn’t quite so fast anymore. The former pool shark now shills for other players, and Vincent (Tom Cruise) is his prodigy. But Vincent has an ego as big as his towering head of hair, and he doesn’t want to lose, despite Eddie’s advice that you have to lose sometimes in order to set up the next score and win big. In pool, it is all about the con, the hustle and the dump to raise the stakes for a better payoff. Eddie’s wisdom faces off against Vincent’s braggadocio, and who will really be the hustler here? The coolest thing about this movie is the range of pool shots these guys make. How’d they do that? 3½ cans.
54. Passengers* (2016) – I’ll admit right up front that I have trouble suspending my sense of reality (I could barely tolerate watching “Gilligan’s Island”), so watching this science fiction film seems like an unlikely choice for me. However, Chris Pratt is one of the Chris stars I like, and Jennifer Lawrence is everywhere these days, so I decided to give it a try. The premise is that a contingent of passengers have left earth to travel on a spaceship bound for a new home. They are in suspended animation during the trip, which is scheduled to take decades. But the sleep pod containing Pratt’s Jim malfunctions, and he wakes up 90 years early (I feel ya, man). Alone on the ship, surrounded by other humans in their sleep pods, he makes friends with the automaton bartender (Michael Sheen) and tries to keep himself busy. But the sleeping beauty Aurora (Lawrence) is too tempting, so he finds a way to interrupt her beauty sleep and, as you can guess, they bond. The spaceship is pretty cool, and somehow is stocked with all of the clothes (and, in Aurora’s case, make-up and jewelry) that one would need during interstellar travel. I won’t give anything away, except to say that despite my inability to suspend my sense of reality, I found this view of life in space a blast. 3½ cans.
55. A Walk on the Moon (1999) – Start with Diane Lane, an actress that I love. She plays Pearl Kantrowitz, and she, her mother-in-law (Tovah Feldshah) and her kids are spending the summer of 1969 at a very modest camp/resort in the Catskills while hubby Marty (Liev Schreiber) schelps back and forth to the city to his job repairing TV sets. Pregnant at a very early age, Pearl now feels bored and trapped in her role as wife and mother, so when the Blouse Man (Viggo Mortensen) shows up in his magic bus, she’s receptive to flirting. She is living at a time when feminism is making women rethink their roles, a time when Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, and when the Woodstock music festival is taking place nearby. Both Pearl and her teenage daughter are curious about what else there is for them as women and eager to stretch their wings. I love this movie, with its authenticity about the era, the sexual awakening of the two women, the fear of growth and of loss. I love the announcements about the arrival of the knish man (voiced by Julie Kavner, of Marge Simpson and “Rhoda” fame), I love the acting and seeing the characters watch in awe as Armstrong takes that giant step for mankind (and Pearl takes a pretty major step of her own). What a time in history, and what a way to combine that era and these characters! 4 cans.
56. The Wizard of Lies* (2017) – This HBO dramatization of the real story of disgraced investment mogul Bernie Madoff doesn’t break new ground, but it provides a deservedly harsh look at a man whose Ponzi scheme cost his investors millions of dollars. For years, Madoff (Robert DeNiro) persuaded people to give him their money so he could invest it for them. His firm employed his own sons, who were unaware of the fact that the trades, the statements -- everything -- were lies. His elaborate fraud went undetected for years, as investors enjoyed better than average returns, never realizing that he was using the new money to pay off the earlier investors. Madoff was a genius when it came to making people beg him to take their money. The many victims here lost their life savings thanks to his greed and hubris – he did not want to lose – ever. In the end, he lost it all. And even as he pleaded guilty, he maintained that the investor themselves were responsible at least in part because of their own greed. He destroyed lives, including that of his family, and ended up in jail, where he will finish his days alone. Well done, Bernie. 4 cans.
57. About Alex* (2015) – A cast of 20-somethings attempts to recreate the angst and vibe of the classic “The Big Chill” here but comes up short. A group of college friends with varying relationships gathers after the suicide attempt of one of their own. Alex (Jason Ritter)
– the same name as the successful suicide friend in TBC – is lonely and needs his friends, all of whom show up when his attempt to kill himself doesn’t work. There are couples and would-be couples and plenty of history between and among the group here, none of whom are as established as the crew in “The Big Chill.” They aren’t as interesting, either. And the soundtrack from “The Big Chill” stands alone. Sorry, but I found it impossible to watch this movie without referring back to a much better and previous telling of a very similar story. That one gets 4 cans. This one? 2 cans.
58. Princess Diana – Her Life, Her Death and the Truth* (2017) – It is hard to believe that nearly 20 years have passed since the shocking death of Princess Diana of Great Britain. This CBS program examines her less-than-charmed life, marrying England’s most eligible bachelor, Prince Charles, having two sons, and enduring the humiliation of his affair with Camilla Parker Bowles. But the heart of this program is the examination of Diana’s death, along with the man she was dating at the time, Dodi El-Fayed, in a suspicious crash in a tunnel in Paris. Fleeing paparazzi and traveling far above the speed limit, their car sideswiped a vehicle as it entered the tunnel and crashed into a barrier, killing Diana and Dodi along with their driver Henri Paul. Tests later proved that Paul was drinking drunk, and that the accident was not a conspiracy by the Royals who forsook Diana after her divorce from Charles. The show looks at her life, her relationships, how she became a Princess, her ancestral home, and her kindness and generosity to the afflicted and underprivileged, traits that are continued by her sons. I forgot how simply beautiful she was, and how unhappy. 3½ cans.
59. Dirty Dancing* (2017) – The big question here is why, ABC? Why remake a classic? Why make us endure it for three hours? And why cast someone (Abigail Breslin) so completely unsuited for this role? Breslin plays the Jennifer Grey part of “Baby” Houseman, a bright but unworldly girl who falls in love with Johnny Castle (Cole Prattes), the dance instructor at Kellerman’s Catskills resort. The appalling casting casts a pall over the entire movie because there is no chemistry between the leads, because she looks much younger than 18 (and is dressed in such dowdy clothes that her wardrobe looks 45) and because his falling for her is about as likely as Ryan Gosling actually being my next husband. There are a few differences in the plot here, which we all know so well. Baby’s parents (Bruce Greenwood and Debra Messing) have meatier roles than the parents in the original and they are going through marital troubles. And Johnny himself turns out to have gotten into enough trouble as a youth that he ended up doing jail time. The characters also get to sing some of the songs. The dancing overall is OK, but Prattes is no Patrick Swayze and Breslin? Decorum prevents me from truthfully commenting on her lack of dance prowess. And I cannot neglect to mention the most egregious faux pas of all, when the waiter in the dining room of Kellermans’s offers Baby’s father a pastrami sandwich, which he says they serve with cole slaw and mayo. Mayo? On a pastrami sandwich? No respectable Jewish joint would EVER serve pastrami with mayo. Sacrilegious! The only saving grace here was that I watched it with a friend, and together we had the time of our lives. We just didn’t do the lift. And when Baby and Johnny do it, she looked like she was about to bowl him over and flatten him. This movie wasn’t as good as “Sharknado,” no less the original Dirty Dancing. 1 can.
60. The Keepers* (2017) – This engrossing series comes from Netflix, the folks who offered up an equally compelling documentary last year, “The Making of a Murder.” Like the earlier series, this 7-part program tackles a murder. In 1969, a young nun teaching at Archbishop Keogh High School near Baltimore goes missing and two months later her murdered body is found. The case remains unsolved, but two of the now-grown women who were students at the school, Abbie Schaub and Gemma Hoskins, join forces to examine the case. They sort through newspaper articles and TV clips, determined to unearth the truth. They interview anyone involved with the victim and the school. It turns out that the attractive young woman, Sister Cathy Cesnick, might have been about to blow the whistle on the school counselor, a priest named Father Maskell, who was abusing a number of the girls in the school. For years, the murder went unsolved, and Maskell continued his horrifying acts with young Catholic girls who were too afraid and too ashamed to come forward. This documentary covers the case and their stories in great detail – almost too much detail. It wasn’t until years later, in the 1990, that one of the young victims of the abuse starts to recall the memories of the trauma she suffered and, along with another victim, turns to the courts. Old crimes are hard enough to prove, but given the power of the Catholic Church in Baltimore, this case was almost impossible. The amateur investigators start a Facebook page that ultimately opens the door to many other former students who suffered at the hands of the abusive priest. As in the Oscar-winning movie ”Spotlight,” the list grows, and so does the cover-up by the Archdiocese. Meanwhile, the crime, and any justice for Sister Cathy, begins to fade. This is a fascinating and disturbing tale of morally reprehensible people who are allowed to continue to have access to children and who get away with their abuse by terrorizing them into silence. I thought this program would move along better if there had been a voiceover narrator rather than using so many long set-up shots, but the number and depth of the interviews with the principals in the story carries the narrative well. Not for the faint of heart. 4 cans.
61. Broken Flowers* (2005) – I always thought that no one can do nothing better than me, but Bill Murray comes in a close second. Here he is Don Johnston, a computer mogul who doesn’t own a computer and who is content to sit on his couch listening to music and doing, well, nothing. One day he receives an unsigned letter from a former girlfriend – of whom there are many – letting him know that after they broke up, she discovered she was pregnant. She never told him, and she raised the son on her own. Now, she says, she thinks her son might be looking for his father. Don is hardly flummoxed by this news. He is so unmoved that you’d think the letter said there was a Macy’s One Day Sale. But his neighbor Winston (Jeffrey Wright) is captivated by the news and plots out an itinerary for Don to visit each of his former girlfriends who might be the author of the mysterious letter. Don visits each one, crossing all but one off the list of potential mothers. In small parts, they are Sharon Stone, Julie Delphy, Jessica Lange and Tilda Swinton, each with her own life, some of which are modestly amusing (Lange is an “animal communicator”). With his deadpan expression and less dialog than Tom Hanks while stranded on that deserted island in “Cast Away,” Murray is the perfect actor for this understated role. Which doesn’t mean I liked or recommend the movie – unless you are a huge Bill Murray fan. I liked him better in “St. Vincent,” where he was equally unmoved, a bit of a reprobate, but ultimately a good guy. 3 cans. Barely.
62. The Lovers* (2017) – Michael (Tracey Letts) is a philandering husband, constantly contacting his aggrieved wife Mary (a hardly-recognizable Debra Winger) with excuses so he can spend time with his paramour Lucy (Melora Walters). But Mary seems relieved, because she is involved in an extramarital affair of her own, with younger and hunkier Robert (Aidan Gillen). Although Michael and Mary reside in the same house, their paths barely cross, and both of them know this sham of a marriage is nearing an end. They – and their partners – are just waiting for their son Joel (Tyler Ross) to come home for a visit so they can tell him in person. But somewhere along the way to resolution, Michael and Mary find each other again and start a fervent romance, with each lying to their other lover to spend time together. What exactly IS fidelity anyway, you might ask. Is it cheating if you are secretly having an “affair” with your own spouse? There were people chuckling in the theater, but the movie never elicited that response from me. It was a story I had never seen or considered before, and I felt real sadness for the characters (particularly Winger as Mary, with lines of anguish etched into her face). Different isn’t necessarily bad, but it isn’t necessarily good, either. 3 cans.
63. The Great Escape (1963) – No, this is NOT a vacation flick. It is about a group of military prisoners of war at a German prison camp in WWII who bond together and dig their way out. Back in the day, films used to be made that included large casts of notable names. Here we have James Garner (his war movie “36 Hours” is even better than this one), Steve McQueen, Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson, James Coburn and many more as the imprisoned men who cleverly manage to dig their way out of the camp and back into society. But will their escape stand? Or will their new identities hold up? This movie is based on a true story and brings humor and humanity to an otherwise life-threatening and dismal situation. Great performance all around. 3½ cans.
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Mid-May Musings
I spend more time looking for something to watch on Netflix than I do actually watching whatever I picked out to watch on Netflix.
I recently attended a class in “knife skills” at Williams-Sonoma. It was probably just as well that it wasn’t hands on, because for me that might have meant thumbs off.
When it comes to food – and doesn’t it ALWAYS come to food? – I’m trying to remind myself to slow down when I eat. Enjoying is better than inhaling!
If you see a whisk wandering around the streets of Somerset, NJ, it is mine. It somehow escaped from the jar of utensils on my kitchen counter, obviously to seek adventures outside my house. Too late, baby. You have been supplanted by a 97 cent replacement whisk with the hope that kitchen gadget escapes are not a trend here in Tina Town.
Nothing gets me up faster than leg cramps. I jump out of bed or out of the recliner, which is no fun at all.
Which reminds me – we sit ON a chair but IN a recliner. Not sure why.
Why is it that when I don’t have to get up I can’t sleep but when I do have to get up, I can’t wake up?
You know those thin plastic or fabric straps that come on dresses or tops for women? Does anyone actually use them to keep the garment on the hanger, or do you think of them as needless annoyances that have to be removed, like those postcards that come in magazines? I cannot read People until I have removed every one of them.
Listen up folks: There is no letter R in the words IDEA or WASH, so stop using one. And please, for the love of God, stop using single quotation marks in headlines, newspapers! The only time you use a single quote is when it appears within a quote. Why, why, why?
These days, much of what we do on line is stored in “the Cloud.” Notice that when anyone mentions the term “the Cloud” that they typically will point or look up to the sky. You know, where clouds are.
It seems like every day on Facebook the day belongs to someone named Karen or Bob or Mike. Are we going to have to celebrate until every possible name is included?
As I was watching one of my favorite actors – Tom Hanks – in one of my favorite movies – “Castaway” – it occurred to me that I really don’t ever want to travel with Tom Hanks. In this movie he survives a plane crash and ends up alone on a remote island for 4 years. In “Sully” he plays Chesley Sullenberger, captain of the US Airways flight that he safely landed in the Hudson River. In “Apollo 13,” he portrays astronaut Jim Lovell from the ill-fated Apollo 13 flight that miraculously landed safely back on earth after terrible technical issues that prevented the crew from landing on the moon. You also don’t want to wait in an airport with Tom Hanks, where you might be stuck for years, as he was in “The Terminal.” And a trip on a ship? Well, he was “Captain Phillips,” who commanded a ship that was attacked and taken over by pirates. At least we know good old Tom made it back alive, but personally, I don’t need the drama.
Recently a new burger place, 30 Burgers, opened in my area. Is this place 5 burgers better than 25 Burgers?
I’m not sure why I am thinking about this now, but I was just wondering about how people who are born on Leap Year celebrate their birthdays. And how do they explain that their date of birth is not February 28 or March 1, but February 29? Is there a party only once every four years?
Whenever I have to go to Customer Service at places like Walmart (yes, I DO go to Walmart; a girl needs a good junk store), I’m always amazed by how genuinely miserable the people who work there seem to be. I know it is tough dealing with the public, and that people can be a real pain in the ass, and that jobs are hard to find, but why would someone apply for that kind of job in the first place? Maybe they have just reached their breaking point. But I can’t help thinking about the day that they showed up for the interview. Were they full of enthusiasm, selling themselves as perfectly suited for a customer service position? Because times have CHANGED since that interview and when they were hired to the harsh reality of actually having the job. Kind of like Donald Trump's thinking being president would be a snap and then finding out he hates it and wants his old life back.
I know I should be grateful when I get that monthly e-mail from Amazon letting me know there are plenty of free titles available for my Kindle. But the truth is that there are already so many things stacked up and waiting to be read on my Kindle that I should not be allowed to even look for one more book!
Do you read printed books? Or do you read only on a Kindle-type device? Or both? I love books but have to admit that reading on my Kindle is very convenient, especially when I travel. Still, I appreciate reading a book and I always pick up bookmarks when I travel. They remind me of where I have been, they are cheap and there is always room in the suitcase for just one more.
Nutritional Tip: When your lemons look like fuzzy limes, it is time to toss them.
Chocolate and I recently went through a trial separation. That doesn’t mean we won’t work things out eventually, but we both need to adjust our expectations. So, for now, we are keeping our distance. What I really need is a restraining order – on me!
I like to think of myself as generous – at least to others. But when it comes to me, I will squeeze a tube of toothpaste to death before I throw it out. I will put water in the shampoo bottle to get a few more latherings, use the roll-on deodorant until it rolls no more and I will stock up on laundry detergent only when it goes on sale.
Ah, I love this time of year. Most of the time it is warm enough to turn off the heat and cool enough not to need the air conditioner. Take that, Public Service!
When people casually greet you with a “how’s everything?” they don’t really want to know, and you don’t really want to tell them.
Tons of people watched as April the Giraffe finally gave birth to her bouncing baby giraffe, who weighed in at 129 pounds. I’m not sure what this says about the public, where so many people watched a giraffe give birth.
Remember when we were growing up and kids wanted to be teachers and baseball players and firemen? I don’t remember anyone ever aspiring to be a professional document shredder. Yet there are entire businesses built around the destruction of documents. This kind of career could never have been imagined “back in my day.” Recently I spent the better part of a week going through old spread sheets and tax returns and receipts so I could gather them up and take them to the “Shredding Day Event” held in the county once a month. As much as I hate doing this kind of chore, it feels so good when it is done!
I’ll end this month’s message on a sad note. I recently learned about the passing of a very dear colleague, a man I admired and adored, Arthur Congdon. Arthur was a brilliant designer, an expert on corporate identity (among may other things), and I was fortunate as the “Logo Cop” of Johnson & Johnson to hire him as a consultant to work on how best to display and protect the iconic Johnson & Johnson signature. No one knew more than Arthur about this field, with his extensive branding program experience with many major corporations. But Arthur was so much more than a designer. He was a Renaissance man, with a love of music and art, and, above all, family. I have songs on my iPod that came from his massive collection of Broadway cast recordings that he so graciously loaned me. I remember his story about bidding for charity on a chance to conduct an orchestra and winning the opportunity, a huge challenge that he handled with his usual enthusiasm and relish. We kept in touch long after I retired and he and his beloved wife Jan had moved to the St. Louis area to be closer to their grandchildren. They made sure they lived in a location that was cosmopolitan enough to have museums, operas and symphony orchestras. When you get a chance in life to engage in conversation about things for which you have true passion, and you have a chance to share common interests in the workplace, you are fortunate, indeed. But when you get the chance to share a friendship with someone you admire, someone who enriches your life, that is rewarding beyond measure. Rest in peace, my dear friend. You will always have a special place in my memories of Johnson & Johnson and in my heart.
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