Stages of Sleep

Stages of Sleep

We all know that there are stages to sleep.  You have to cycle through the first few to get to the heavy-duty REM sleep, which is that blissful state where you are totally relaxed and sleeping deeply.

My sleep patterns are slightly different.

Stage 1:  I fall asleep – eventually, generally in bed, drifting off with the TV on, or after reading a few pages of a book.  This usually takes a fair amount of time, even if I am really tired.  If I am too wound up (as I always am after a Rutgers Women’s Basketball game – win or lose), I can’t fall asleep.  I play mind games, trying to recall all of the players on the 1961 New York Yankees, for example.  I know that telling yourself NOT to think is the best advice, but my switch is lodged permanently in the “on” position.

Stage 2:  Impossible, of course, without Stage 1, but I will be comfortably asleep until around 4 AM, when I wake up and have the nightly debate over whether I am awake because I have to go to the bathroom or whether, since I am awake, I should just get up and go to the bathroom.  There are compelling arguments to be made by each side in this negotiation.  I should just automatically get up and go before the discourse rages within me.  Typically, the getting up option is triumphant, so I take care of business and crawl back into bed, only to be wide awake.  Again, the names and uniform numbers of the Yankees, or the names of magazines swirl around to distract me.  Often the TV goes on again.  I’ll watch “House Hunters” in the middle of the night and fall asleep just as the homeowners are about to reveal their preference. Then I wake up, rewind and start the process over, minus the Yankee roster.

Stage 3:  I’m awake again, having seen the 6^th airing of ESPN’s SportsCenter, but I am groggy enough not to know who beat whom.  So now the big decision is where to sleep.  I live alone, so this is a multiple choice question.  In the winter, I like to be bundled up under the covers, but in the summer, I will often flip to the end of the bed, with only a throw blanket on me.  I feel like sleeping on my side, but then my shoulders get sore, so I get on my stomach instead of the original sleeping on my back position, and settle in, asking myself, “Is this a sleeping position?”  If the position is only to allow me to get a better view of the TV, that’s not really accomplishing my goal.  There is yet another option.  I could always sleep in the recliner.  I have one downstairs in my family room and its exact twin resides in my bedroom.  Since I seem to fall asleep quite easily in the chair downstairs, I figure that maybe I can slip into that REM upstairs, too.  Sometimes this works, maybe because by now all of the debating has worn me out – which should help put me to sleep.  At least living alone means I am not disturbing anyone else’s sleep.  There is a chance I inherited this problem from my father, who apparently was all over his bed.  My mother, the late, great Sylvia Gordon, used to say to him the next morning in her inimitable style, “Lester, you were flipping around like a flounder in that bed last night.” 

I have to admit castigating myself for all of this thought processing, and for having no problem whatsoever falling asleep at inappropriate times and places.  Put me in a classroom or at a lecture where I am extremely interested in the subject and I will fall asleep.  On a plane, unless someone is bumping into me as they go down the aisle, I will typically put on headphones, listen to relaxing classical music and fall asleep.  I inevitably fall asleep if I am watching the movie on the plane.  Once, before the movie started and before we even took off, I fell asleep.  Do you suppose anyone would object to my sitting on an airplane at night by myself, just to get some shuteye?

Then there is my penchant for falling asleep at the movies on the ground.  When I watched “The Aviator,” I wondered why I never saw Cate Blanchett as Katharine Hepburn.  Later I realized I had slept through that part.  In the movie “Doubt,” just at the critical moment when Meryl Streep confronts the priest about molesting the students in the Catholic school they run, I fell asleep.  I had my own bout of doubt as a result.  I have also fallen asleep on a tour bus in Paris, at plays – and I mean musicals, not just stage plays – and watching TV with friends.  But in my special “Heavenly Bed?”  No such luck. 

I’ve tried it all.  I have a sound machine, but it seems too loud.  That’s odd, considering that ESPN is pretty loud when they are showing some highlight, and yet that doesn’t help, either.  I have some medication I can take, but if you wake up in the middle of the night, you don’t want to take anything that will make you drowsy all day.

And then there is the dream aspect of sleeping.  How many times I have awakened from a bad dream and have been afraid to go back to sleep for fear of continuing that dream?  (PS – That never happens.)  On the flip side, I’ll awake from having a great dream and try to get back to sleep so I can see how it ends.  Forget it.  Once I wake up, it’s over.  And so is my sleep.

I know this is not just my problem.  How many times have I talked to friends who lament the same pattern:  “I was up at 4 this morning,” one will say.

“You should have called,” I’ll reply.  “I was awake.”

Back when I worked, setting the alarm was obligatory.  Now, I set it but I am almost always up long before it goes off.  And who among us hasn’t noticed that when we know we MUST get up, we could sleep all day, but when you have the day off, you are up at the crack of dawn?

I’ve been playing Words With Friends lately, and normally I check to see if my opponents have taken their turns when I get out of bed.  One morning around 4 AM I was wide awake and turned on my phone.  I noticed that a friend of mine had played, so I took my turn.  Almost immediately I got a message from her:  “Can’t sleep?”

Join the club.

Tina's February 2014 Movies

It's Oscar time, so I tried to see as many Oscar-worthy films and performances as I could in February.  You'll find a few here that won't get that kind of acclaim, but I do have wide-ranging taste.  The numbering picks up from the previous month, and, as always, movies are rated from 1-5 cans of tuna, with 5 being the highest rank.  Enjoy.

18.  Return to Me (2000) – I started February with this romantic charmer.  Bob (David Duchovny) loses his wife in a car accident at the same time that Grace (Minnie Driver) goes into the hospital to have her failing heart replaced.  You’ve already guessed that she ends up with the wife’s heart, right?  While he has trouble recovering from the loss of his wife, Grace is mending quite well.  One day they meet at the Irish pub run by Grace’s grandfather (Carroll O’Connor) and his buddies, but of course neither of them knows about matters of that particular heart – at first.  The relationship between the shy couple is a joy to watch, as each grows in new ways.  I won’t spoil the movie but I will encourage anyone who hasn’t seen it to rent it, buy it, record it – just watch it.  It is a delight.  4 cans.

19.  Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939) –  Mr. Chipping (Robert Donat) is the straitlaced new teacher at the Brooking School, a venerable British boys school during the early 1900s.  He arrives full of hope and promise and is soon overrun by his energetic young charges.  He adopts a strict veneer, which softens over time as he grows close to generations of young students.  Helping soften him is the unexpected arrival of Kathy, played by the beautiful and classy Greer Garson, who immediately ingratiates herself at this all-male institution.  Donat is perfect as the unsure young teacher and later as the friend and mentor to the boys, as he ages 63 years.  If you like action and adventure, don’t even bother to tune into this leisurely tale.  But if heartwarming is your cup of tea, you’ll fit right in.  4 cans.

20.  Enough Said* (2013) – Sadly, there was not enough said – or the time to say it – for actor James Gandolfini, who plays divorced regular guy Albert in this movie opposite Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Eva).  Albert may not seem attractive at first, but get to know him and he has a lot of wit and charm.  He’s a good father and a pretty good boyfriend, but, according to his ex-wife Marianne (Catherine Keener), he was no bargain as a husband.  When Eva starts dating him (unbeknownst to either Eva or Marianne that he is Marianne’s ex), they are both facing the forthcoming departures of their daughters to college.  They fall quickly into a comfortable relationship, but, contrary to the title of this movie, there is way too much said by the ex to Eva, her masseuse/friend, who finally realizes Albert is the man they have in common.  Gandolfini looks like a tough guy but he’s really a mush, and his vulnerability and comfort in himself is very much on display here.  This was the last movie he made before his untimely death, and his performance here makes his loss that much more poignant.  3½ cans.

21.  The Gabby Douglas Story* (2014) – You may recall Gabby Douglass as the exuberant and athletically gifted young gymnast who won the Gold Medal as Best All-Around in the last Olympics.  End of story, right?  Well, this biopic, though as lightweight as young Gabby herself, details the struggles her family – particularly her mother (Regina King) – had to endure and the sacrifices they all made in helping Gabby achieve her dream.  Gymnastics is grueling, and aside from all of the training, there are a lot of costs – travel, outfits, coaches, etc. – that are necessary to get to the top level of the sport.  Just getting the best coaching required young Gabby to leave her mother and siblings and move to Iowa – her choice, mind you.  You already know the end before you see the first frame of this Lifetime biopic, but, particularly in the month of the Winter Olympics, I was impressed with the dazzling talent and sheer determination of this tough and spritely young woman.  No gold medal, but I’ll give the movie the bronze.  2½ cans.

22.  Missing (1982) – Jack Lemmon and Sissy Spacek are two actors whose work is almost always outstanding, and this political thriller has them at their finest.  Spacek is married to Lemmon’s son Charlie (John Shea) and living in a South American country whose government has just been overthrown.  People are getting arrested at random, there are shootings in the street, and leftist-leaning but politically naïve Charlie is caught in the midst of it.  One day he just goes missing and Spacek cannot find him by herself.  Riding in on his white horse, full of skepticism about his son’s capabilities and politics, comes New York businessman Lemmon, certain that with the contacts he has made he can prevail upon local American officials to solve the mystery and bring Charlie home.  The American Consulate there is unfailingly polite but mainly useless, and Lemmon and Spacek are left to do their own investigation.  They butt heads, eventually bonding over the inevitable outcome of their efforts.  Lemmon, much like his performances in “The China Syndrome” and “The Paper Tiger,” starts out a reasonable, establishment guy, but grows increasingly frustrated with the authorities and with the reality that he may not see his son again.  Hats off to Lemmon in particular for the nuances in his performance, and applause for the director (Costa-Gravas) for keeping the situation taut and compelling throughout the movie.  4 cans.

23.  Miracle (2004) – It seemed appropriate in the midst of watching the Winter Olympics to take time out for this dramatization of the 1980 US Men’s Hockey Team, which won the Gold Medal in Lake Placid.  Taciturn coach Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell) picks his players as much for their hearts and minds as their hockey skills.  Over a long training period, his “boys” bond together as a family – even if their bond is partly because they are dubious of Brooks’ methods and madness.  He isn’t there to be their friend.  Having been the last cut on an earlier US Olympic Hockey team, he keeps his eyes firmly on the gold.  We all know the outcome, as a bunch of college hockey players (this was before professionals from the NHL dominated the Olympic teams) take on the all-powerful Russians, with sports and politics all playing a role.  And though we know who wins, it’s still hard not to feel the thrill of Mike Erruzione’s winning goal, or to tear up as goalie Jim Craig scans the stands to find his father.  This movie is one of the best sports films ever in my opinion, as it depicts what might be the defining moment for the US in the Olympics (you cannot nudge Jesse Owens from the top spot).  Do you believe in miracles? Yes!  4 cans.

24.  The Monuments Men* (2014) – Prior to and during World War II, the Nazi regime stole untold pieces of artwork from private collections of Jews and they raided art museums to compile a collection Hitler intended to put on display in the elaborately planned Fuehrer Museum.  “The Rape of Europa” is a documentary that tells the story of the stolen art and the extensive efforts made by art experts, mostly from the US, to find it, authenticate it and get it back to its rightful owners, where possible.  This movie is director/star/producer George Clooney’s attempt to make that story entertaining by introducing a cast of characters (Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Bob Balaban, Hugh Bonneville, among others) who served as “The Monuments Men,” working with the Allied Forces so they could locate and preserve some of the world’s most prized pieces of art.  The film is earnest and yet has a wry sense of humor as these experts have to peel the layers back on the mystery of what happened to the art.  Clooney makes them look like the heroes they were, yet the movie struck me as a bit self-serving, possibly because I have so much admiration for the documentary, which is one of the finest I have ever seen.  Still, if you don’t know the story, see it and learn something about the importance of art in our lives and the brave and daring mission of men to create and celebrate it.  3½ cans.

25.  The Ides of March (2012) – A better Clooney movie is this scathing look at politics through the eyes of a tough-minded but idealistic young press secretary (Ryan Gosling) who works for a presidential candidate who seems above reproach.  So we know where that’s going, eh?  Clooney is the candidate, the late and lamented Philip Seymour Hoffman is his campaign manager, whose demand for loyalty among the staff comes into play with one decision made by Gosling’s Steven. I really enjoyed this movie when it first was released, probably because I’m so skeptical of all politicians and expect them to have flaws and because Gosling is just so tasty to see on screen.  4 cans.

26.  Crazy. Stupid. Love (2011)  – And speaking of how good Gosling looks on screen, here he is Jacob, a slick talking, confident ladies man who befriends sad sack Cal (Steve Carell), cleans him up and gets him ready for love after Cal’s wife (Julianne Moore) tells him she is having an affair with a co-worker and wants to end their marriage.  To provide more details would spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that the everyone in the movie is terrific, the comedy is funny and Emma Stone does a sensational job as the young woman who is more than just a one-night stand.  Funny, insightful, fresh and with some twists you won’t see coming.  4½ cans.

27.  Dallas Buyers Club* (2013) – This Matthew McConaughey film is based on the true story about Ron Wood, a homophobic AIDS patient in Dallas who takes on the disease and the medical establishment to prolong his life.  McConaughey gives a strong performance, refusing to give in to the disease or to the doctors who insist on promoting AZT trials for AIDS patients.  He builds a business with a transvestite named Rayon (Jared Leto, who is sensational in the part) importing alternative treatments that he provides for members of his Dallas Buyers Club.  Forced to fight the disease and the authorities, Wood withers away right before our eyes.  McConaughey is gaunt to the point of being almost unrecognizable here, but his steely resolve gives him strength and courage to fight his battles.  Jennifer Garner plays a sympathetic doctor.  I always have some hesitation about movies that paint all big business – especially the pharmaceutical business – as evil-doing money grabbers, but, that aside, the real Ron Wood took on a mighty challenge in a battle he was destined to lose.  4 cans.

28.  Random Harvest* (1942) – And now for something completely different.  Charles Rainier (Ronald Colman) is injured in World War I and loses his memory.  He is sent to an asylum, but escapes as the war ends and finds himself in a local bar in Liverpool where he discovers the Beatles – no, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.  Actually, he discovers Paula (Greer Garson), who takes him in, eventually marrying him, despite his lack of any recollection of his former life.  When he leaves town for a job interview, an accident jars him out of amnesia but he can no longer recall her or that part of his life.  He returns to his original wealthy family and goes on to fame and fortune without her.  Not that the plot is spellbinding, but I don’t want to ruin it.  This film was considered one of the best of the year, and, in my opinion, just seeing Greer Garson, a gracious and gorgeous actress, adds value to any movie.  If you can rise above the corny, this is a good Oscar-month movie to see.  3½ cans.

29.  12 Years a Slave* (2013) – With its various Oscar nominations, this movie was one I felt I must see.  Like the classic TV mini-series “Roots,” the drama – based on a true story – depicts the harrowing lives and inhumane treatment of slaves in the decades leading up to the Civil War.  This story focuses on one black man, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor in an Oscar-worthy performance) of Saratoga, NY, who is kidnapped and sold into slavery.  In addition to the sheer brutality of the men who claim ownership of him, Solomon must hide his education and feign ignorance for fear of being singled out and killed.  Just a wrong glance or a word is enough to provoke a severe whipping.  Solomon, called Pratt by his masters, must fight to maintain his dignity and hope of reuniting with the family he left behind so abruptly and against his will.  He befriends Patsy (Lupita Nyong’o), a young woman who is a particular target of the cruel plantation owner Epps (Michael Fassbender).  What the slaves endure here is difficult to watch and unbearable to endure.  Brad Pitt, one of the producers, gives himself a small but important role as the one white man who believes all men are created equal.  Strong performances and a display of courage make this intense movie worthwhile seeing, though, like Holocaust movies, I know I will never watch it again.  4 cans.

30.  Blue Sky* (1994) – Jessica Lange gets to show off her acting chops and her voluptuous body in this drama about a manic-depressive woman and her military husband (Tommy Lee Jones).  The story is explosive in several ways:  There is the manic Lange, dancing and dressing provocatively as she lusts after the base commander (Powers Boothe) at the post in Alabama where her husband works as an engineer, measuring and determining radiation from nuclear devices.  There is the combustible relationship between Lange and Jones, and there are actual detonations and explosions along the way.  About three quarters of the way through, the movie turns from the relationship between man and wife to an expose of military cover-ups that Jones has discovered, and the tables turn distinctly.  Lange won an Oscar for this showy role in a year when competition was relatively weak (and didn’t include Meryl Streep).  3 cans.

Random Thoughts for February

Random Thoughts for Feb 2014

I get the Summer Olympics.  They run, they jump, they lift heavy objects, they wrestle, they swim.  But the Winter Olympics?  These sports are crazy:  Slope style  something, the race on the sled where you essentially do a plank for the whole time?  Teams of snowboarders?  And 2-hours of cross-country skiing on a team?  Plus, they have so many decals and designs on their uniforms (thank you, curlers) and their helmets that I can not only not figure out what country they are from, I can’t tell who they are or even their gender in many cases.  I get Michael Phelps – little bathing suit, pair of headphones and bathing cap.  But the rest of these athletes confuse me even as they amaze me.  You have to be nuts to jump off a big hill of snow, flip around in the air, land BACKWARDS, and keep on going. 

I don't know what the fox says and I don't care.

I rarely make pasta anymore (too tempting and too hard to control the portions), but, when I do, I always use a jar of pasta sauce. Despite what the purists say about homemade, I figure Paul Newman subjected HIS sauce to great scrutiny and conducted extensive research to make it the best it could be. I can't say the same about mine.  And besides, his is good and FAST – you heat it for minutes instead of cooking for hours. Pass the Paul's, please.

My BFF and I had a serious discussion about the importance of eating healthy foods and getting regular exercise, and how hard we work – though we are far from perfect – at both of these aspects of our lives.  Then she raised a thought-provoking question:  At what age can you abandon those healthy practices and just eat whatever you damn please?  75?  80?  90?  At what point can I renounce my Weight Watchers membership and start ordering desserts, or bring home a box of Entenmanns’s donuts without life-threatening guilt?  Food for thought, huh?

Seriously, how is it that the throw rug next to my bed keeps slipping under the bed when it is on the carpet, not on a bare floor?  I just don’t understand it.

Don’t you hate it when you wake up from a particularly vivid dream – good or bad – and you are sure you will remember it because you will want to share it with someone, and then you go back to sleep and can’t remember it when you get up?

I am relatively new to Sirius radio since it came with my new car. I never thought I'd want it since most of my trips are short, but I now admit I am hooked.  But Sirius, like Pandora, has some questionable algorithms for what songs should be on various channels.  Frank Sinatra recorded thousands of songs, so if I go to "Siriusly Sinatra," I really only want to hear Frank, not Louis Armstrong or other singers.  But other than that, I really love it.  I especially love that the name of the artist and the name of the song come up on the screen.  It is amazing how many songs I know without ever having known their actual names and who sings them!

When I feel like eating clementines, I am forced to buy a box or a bag of them, which gives me way too many for one person to consume.  At least with a bunch of bananas, I can take only as many as I can eat before they spoil, but with clementines, it seems I always end up throwing some away.  I need to find someone with whom to split the box or bag.

I bought Cara Cara oranges the other day, though I had never heard of them.  They are the size of grapefruits and have an reddish/pinkish tinge, like a pink grapefruit.  Supposedly they are less acidic than a regular orange.  I'm just wondering where these have been or whether they just joined the orange family, and, if so, how that happened.  Too much time on my hands, right?

Among the life lessons I would like to impart to my nearly 21-year old nephew is this:  Never, ever slice an English muffin.  Always split it with a fork.  I wonder whether he knows this.  He's at the age where he thinks he knows everything.

And speaking of English muffins, don't you hate it when you are eating a burger – or, in my case, something on a light English muffin – and the bottom of the muffin or roll gets smaller and smaller as you eat it?  Eventually you are left with virtually no bottom and the meaty insides are in your hand.  Sometimes I flip the sandwich over halfway through to even things out.

Maybe it’s just me, but I really enjoy the music they play in the supermarket.  Within recent weeks, I have heard the old song “Jean” by Oliver twice.  I guarantee I would not have heard that forgotten oldie on Sirius radio or on Pandora.  Yeah, OK, it probably IS just me.

I'll say this for actress Melinda Dillon: She didn't work much, but she played the mother in two of the most widely-seen movies of all-time – "A Christmas Story" and "ET."

Don’t you feel stupid when someone stops you for directions and you can’t remember the names of the streets or tell them how to get there, even if it is a place you go or pass by routinely?  We tend to overlook the street names in favor of “make a right at Lisa’s house, then go straight until you hit Shop-Rite,” which doesn’t do the lost traveler much good.  Thank goodness for the GPS and SmartPhones with directions. 

I can kind of understand why TV weather people are forced to stand outside to report on extreme weather conditions (we like to see them almost blow away), but I don't get why they make the sportscasters report from the frozen tundra while there is no game going on.  If the reporter is talking on Tuesday about Sunday's game in Green Bay, can't he just tell us the forecast calls for ridiculously cold temperatures?  Watching his breath emerge as smoke doesn't persuade me to tune into the game.  Back to the comfort of the studio, I say!

Speaking of which, I now get more of my news, sports and weather via social media than I do by watching the news.  Just scrolling through Twitter or Facebook provides me with news and features that are more customized to my interests or that I can click on or scroll past.  That sound you hear is Walter Cronkite spinning in his grave.

The two most overused words in the English language are awesome and amazing.  I think our standards have been lowered, because everything these days is described as amazing.  "That was an amazing blog you wrote last month," someone will say.  Thanks, but does that mean all the rest of my entries are routine and this one was so much better that it surprised you?  Now I can understand the use of the word in some situations:  "Johnny got a perfect score on his SATs, and he cannot even count to 10."  THAT would be awesome and amazing.  But if I merely show up and do what is expected, why should anyone find that amazing?  Not that I don't appreciate or troll for compliments, mind you, but I am amazed by the awesomeness of them sometimes.

Among the things I hate to do is changing the sheets on my bed.  I love clean sheets, but getting that bottom, fitted sheet to fit is like a wrestling match, despite the fact that I buy sheets with really deep corners.  I guess they shrink over time.  I have to exert all the pressure I can to get the sheet to stretch over the bed.  By then I'm exhausted and ready to hit the sheets.

I can no longer tell black from blue.  I compare everything to the black suit hanging in my closet that I am sure is black because it said so on the label when I bought it.  But if I show up wearing black socks with blue pants, or a blue sweater with black pants, please let me know, assuming that this is not a universal affliction.

And why do I not have to us the word "an" in front of "universal" in the previous sentence.  English has some strange rules.

Why is it that I cannot fall asleep or stay asleep in my big, plush "Heavenly Bed," yet put me in a movie theater, sitting upright, and I can't keep my eyes open?

Don’t you hate it when you bite the inside of your cheek?  Every time you chew afterwards you end up biting it again.  It’s like when you have a toothache or lose a filling and you cannot keep your tongue from wandering over to the empty spot.

Recently I happened to watch a documentary on the planning and building of the George Washington Bridge.  I doubt the visionaries whose work made it possible could have imagined the GW becoming a tool used for retribution by politicians.  Is it any wonder why New Jersey is the butt of so many jokes? 

I am in a dilemma.  My lucky socks – that I always wore to Rutgers Women’s basketball games – were on hand for two losses recently, AND one of them got a hole in the toe, so I tossed it out.  The team won with the pair I wore the other day, so do they become my lucky socks now?  I might be better off just not having a lucky pair of anything, so I could just wear any pair of socks and not have to worry about keeping a particular pair clean.  Did I mention I was superstitious?  Believe me, it is never easy being me!

  

Tina's January 2014 Movies

Another year, another series of movie reviews.  Here are the ground rules:  Movies are rated on a scale of 0-5 cans of tuna fish (my childhood favorite food - besides anything chocolate, that is).  Movies marked with an asterisk* are ones I had not seen previously.  All reviews are strictly my opinion.  A well-reviewed movie may not be one I enjoyed, and, conversely, some that receive no accolades may just be personal favorites of mine. You are here to see what I thought about the 150 or so movies I see each year and to draw your own conclusions.

1.  Easy Money (1983) – Noel Coward surely never wrote anything like this.  Rodney Dangerfield is the twitchy Monty Capulet, a man of simple interests:  He likes to smoke, drink, gamble and curse, and he loves hanging out with his equally low-brow friends like Nick (Joe Pesci).  When Monte’s wealthy mother-in-law dies, he will inherit her $10 million fortune if he can clean up his act in a year.  Easy money?  Hardly for Monty, who is reduced to eating salads and giving up beer.  Dangerfield is perfectly cast as a “regular guy,” and while this comedy will never be known for its highbrow values, it is nonetheless an amusing look at class differences and lifestyles.  Though I prefer Rodney in “Back to School,” this one is easy to watch.  3½ cans.

2.  The Purple Rose of Cairo* (1985) – The affable Jeff Daniels has a dual role in this ingenious Woody Allen movie.  He plays Tom Baxter, a pith-helmet wearing actor in a movie watched repeatedly by lonely Cecilia (Mia Farrow).  When Tom breaks through the 4^th wall and leaves the screen to meet Cecelia, the actor who plays him on the screen, Gil Shepherd (also Jeff Daniels), shows up to stop Tom from ruining his career.  What is real and what exists only in the movies?  Poor Cecelia is torn between Tom and Gil, both of whom want her to be in their respective worlds, while the cast of the abandoned movie continues to exhort Tom to come back to the screen.  A very clever and winning movie and one without Woody as an actor (he never would have fit in).  3½ cans.

3.  Lars & the Real Girl* (2007) – Lars is almost the perfect boyfriend.  He is kind, thoughtful, polite – and delusional.  A lonely and quiet man, Lars (Ryan Gosling) eschews company and cannot bare to be touched.  But when one of his porn-loving co-workers shows him a website that offers life-like dolls, he orders Bianca, who comes into his life and the lives of the indulgent town folk.  Everyone – not just Lars – treats Bianca as real.  She gets a “job” modeling in a store window, “reads” to children at the hospital and is elected to the school board.  At first, his brother and sister-in-law are reluctant to play along, but they begin to see a real relationship develop between a man with little emotion and a “woman” with even less.  This movie is quirky, no doubt, but there is a tenderness here, particularly displayed by the people surrounding the reluctant Lars, that is very sweet.  Any movie that can make Ryan Gosling NOT look like a doll himself has to have some magic.  3½ cans.

4.  Manhattan (1979) – I’m still on a Woody Allen kick, leftover from last year, and I decided to revisit this romantic comedy/drama.  Forgetting the plot and the dialog for a moment, I have to say this movie is gorgeous to view.  Manhattan has never looked better, richly shot in black and white, with its characters sometimes shot solely in silhouette, accompanied by the symphonic strains of George Gershwin.  As for the plot, Woody Allen plays Issac, a 42-year old writer who is dating beautiful 17-year old Tracy (Mariel Hemingway, in a notable screen debut).  Knowing his off-screen story makes this relationship a little creepy for me, so when he starts dating Mary (Diane Keaton, naturally), the ex-girlfriend of his married friend Yale (Michael Murphy), the pairing seems more natural.  I have trouble believing that a man who looks and acts like Woody Allen would have women like Keaton, Hemingway and Meryl Streep, who plays his lesbian ex-wife, show even the remotest interest in his neurotic, insecure character.  The story is about love, when you know, who is best for you and having a little faith in people.  And who can forget that stunning shot of Keaton and Allen in the lower right part of the screen, sitting and conversing while gazing at the Queensboro Bridge?  Seeing it again, I realize this is one of Woody’s best works.  I’ll take Manhattan.  4 cans.

5.  On the Mat* (2012) – Every year, I seem to find a sports documentary to watch that I haven’t seen before.  This one is about Lake Stevens High School, about an hour north of Seattle, and its wrestling team.  Wrestling is a sport where any kid can participate, no matter how big or small.  So the 103-pound kid who is lying motionless on the mat one week can come back and vie for a state championship.  The sport relies on mental toughness, discipline and the ability to “make weight.”  These kids starve themselves to qualify in a particular weight category.  Like all other sports movies, this one has the kid who is the outsider, who brings the drama, and kids for whom wrestling is everything.  There is the coach who is determined to use wrestling to teach life lessons to his young charges.  And there is the staple of all sports films, the ultimate test of prowess – in the case, the state tournament.  Would any of these hard-working kids become a state champ?  Win or lose, would they pile up enough points to help their school claim the state title?  Would this film be released if they didn’t?  It may be cliché, but it is a winner.  3 cans. 

6.  August: Osage County* (2013) – My sister and I eagerly awaited the latest Meryl Streep movie as our Christmas choice and were highly disappointed when it didn’t open widely until this month.  So with a chip on our shoulders, we went to see it, hoping Meryl would redeem her tardiness with another Award-winning performance.  As my sister insists, Meryl never disappoints, and here, as Violet, she is a mean and ornery woman dealing with cancer, a failing marriage, drug addiction (hers) and a litany of family issues.  When her three daughters descend upon the family home in desolate Oklahoma during a crisis, they all bring their worst behavior and put the fun in dysfunctional.  There is plenty of vitriol over past transgressions, accompanied by swearing, food tossing, plate throwing and a knock-down, dragged out tussle between Meryl and Barbara (Julia Roberts).  And this film is supposedly a comedy.  We all have family issues, but this family has a few creepy surprises that I didn’t see coming.  The movie has its moments of levity – most of which you can catch in the trailers – and overall it is well-done, but in the same uncomfortable sense as “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf.”  4 cans, mostly because of the cast, which also includes Dermot Mulrooney, Juliette Lewis, Margo Martindale, Chris Cooper, Sam Shepperd and Julianna Nicholson.

7.  Her* (2013) – What are the chances I will see two movies in one month about men who fall in love with inanimate objects (see # 3 above)?  Writer-director Spike Jonze creates a world where people are so dependent on their devices that they rarely interact with each other.  Instead, they are dependent on a SmartPhone or computer for everything from checking their mail to ordering food to building relationships.  So when Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) falls in love with Samantha, his new operating system (sexy voice courtesy of Scarlett Johansen), this behavior isn’t unusual, it is accepted.  After all, Samantha is the perfect girlfriend.  You don’t need to dress up – or even shower – to go out on a date with her, she’s always available, and you are only paying for yourself.  Odd doesn’t begin to describe this movie – complete with sex scenes – but the thing that drove me crazy was that Theodore simply had to press the button on his ear piece to summon her.  Doesn’t she have to be charged?  And who among us hasn’t had our operating system crash?  Yes, she did shut down once for a system update, but that was the only part with which I could identify.  Well-thought out and clever, with excellent performances by all the players (including Amy Adams), but a little too bizarre for my more basic tastes.  3 cans.

8.  Our Vines Have Tender Grapes* (1945) – Edward G. Robinson is cast against type as the Norwegian father of a family in Wisconsin in this look at life in simpler times.  Young Margaret O’Brien steals the show as his curious and lovable daughter.  There’s not much here in the way of plot beyond Papa’s desire to build a new barn, but the feeling is one of heart.  Still, way too dull for my taste. 2 cans.

9.  Radio Days (1987) – And the Woody Allen Film Festival continues with this nostalgic trip back to the 1940s, where writer-director-narrator Allen recalls his youth.  The family depicted is large, encompassing parents, aunts and uncles, etc., and, despite bickering and living modestly, they all appreciate each other and live vicariously through the people whose lives they hear about on the radio.  The radio broadcasts of the era are the genesis of the story, but it is the strength and warmth of the family that touches the viewer.  Allen being Allen, there are moments of levity, but this one is more heart-warming than laugh-inducing.  The usual Allen troupe shows up – Mia Farrow, Dianne Wiest, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts and others, including my personal fave, Brenda Morgenstern herself, Julie Kavner.   A mostly sweet and leisurely stroll down Memory Lane.  3½ cans.

10.  The Remains of the Day (1993) – If you enjoy Downton Abbey, you’ll probably like this look at life in an English manor home.  Anthony Hopkins is Stevens, the butler of Darlington House, where he serves Lord Darlington in the 1930s.  Though there is ample political talk here, as Lord Darlington advocates positions prior to the war that would be later frowned upon, the central story is about the relationship between the butler and the housekeeper, Miss Kenton (Emma Thompson).  They disagree on many issues, the biggest of which is expressing their opinions.  Kenton doesn’t hesitate to state her views, but the circumspect Stevens’ focus is strictly on serving the house.  He prefers not to listen to the views of the important people who visit Darlington in favor of making sure everything is in perfect order for whomever is on hand.  Hopkins and Thompson are brilliant, and we so want them to get together here.  No spoilers, please.  One more thought – it is jarring to see a robust Christopher Reeve playing an American Congressman, knowing what would later happen to him in real life.  So sad.  4½ cans.

11.  Salinger* (2014) – Is there anyone out there who doesn’t know the story of Holden Caulfield, poster boy for disaffected youth, or his creator, famously reclusive author J.D. Salinger?  (If you don’t, please don’t fess up, or I will be forced to defriend you.)  This PBS documentary on American Masters takes a long look at Salinger, from his desire to be published in The New Yorker to his days fighting in WWII through his marriages and his notoriously quiet existence in New Hampshire, where he fended off journalists and photographers but periodically invited strangers – mostly young women – into his life.  His publication of “The Catcher in the Rye” in 1951 had a profound effect on its readers and generations of people who eschewed phonies and saw themselves through Holden’s eyes.  Thought he didn’t publish anything for many years before his death in 2010, Salinger remained busy writing away in his little cottage outside his home.  His works are scheduled to be released starting in 2015, when a new generation will have a chance to experience his style while the rest of us wonder if we will feel the same way we did when we first read Catcher.  Salinger is a fascinating but flawed man and this documentary gave me new insights into his life.  4 cans.

12.  The Place Beyond the Pines* (2012) – The decisions you make and the actions you take can affect your life and the lives of others for generations.  If you don’t believe that, watch this gripping drama.  It starts off as an action-adventure, then goes into a story about moral decisions and then progresses on to a tense conclusion.  The movie was not at all what I expected, and to say more would ruin the plot.  I watched it largely because of its stars – Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes and Bradley Cooper – all of whom give top-notch performances.  To learn more, look it up on-line, or, even better, watch it for yourself.  3½ cans.

13.  The Heart of the Game (2005) – With the possible exception of “Hoop Dreams,” there is no finer documentary about basketball (or sports, in my opinion) than this 7-year look at Coach Bill Resler and his Roosevelt High Rough Riders.  A college tax professor, Resler takes on the hapless high school girls basketball team and uses his unconventional approach to urge the girls on to victory.  He tells them they are a pack or wolves or tigers, and they abandon traditional offensive sets and swarm the opposition on defense.  When the gifted Darnellia Russell shows up (a year after the documentary starts), she brings her considerable basketball skills and sometimes an attitude to match to challenge Resler.  Will they win the state championship?  Will Darnellia overcome her own problems to stay on the team?  I know the outcome and yet I watch this movie every time thrilled at each basket, each pass, and each game.  If you like sports and enjoy documentaries, you’ve gotta have “Heart.”  4½ cans.

14.  A Walk on the Moon (1999)  –  Pearl Kantrowitz (Diane Lane) is a bored housewife, spending the summer in the Catskills with her teenaged daughter, young son and mother-in-law (Tovah Feldshuh, who is fabulous in the role), playing mah jongg with the other ladies of summer while the men return to the city for their jobs and see how fast they can make the trip back up to the cottages on weekends.  So when the “Blouse Man” (Viggo Mortenson, looking just like tennis player Bjorn Borg) offers her a bit more than something to wear, she sheepishly sheds her abandon.  The summer of 1969 was a huge time of change in music, culture and mores, with Woodstock just around the corner from their summer home.  Pearl sees in the Blouse Man a different world, a different life – and different sex from what the routine she and husband Marty (Liev Schreiber) practice.  Her m-i-l knows right away she is “schtupping” someone else, and the reality of dealing with a sexually awakening teenager while she herself is awakening presents a real dilemma for Pearl.  When I first saw this movie, I liked it immediately.  The references to the period seem completely authentic to me, as does every other aspect of the movie.  Oh, and men actually do land on the moon, in a moment Pearl is unlikely to forget.  Years before she became “Unfaithful” to Richard Gere, Lane portrays a woman with a similar moral dilemma and just a little less agony and ecstasy.  4 cans.

15.  Postcards from the Edge (1990) – A drugged out actress (Meryl Streep) is literally dumped at the ER by the man she’s been with (Dennis Quaid) and wakes up, stomach pumped, to find herself in rehab.  The only way she can get work is to agree to live with her alcoholic mother (Shirley MacLaine), a noted star herself who is enough to drive anyone to drink.  The acerbic wit of writer Carrie Fisher is sharply on display in this story that is based on Fisher’s relationship with star/mother Debbie Reynolds.  Streep and MacLaine are memorable in their strained exchanges, though any amateur analyst can see how their relationship has devolved over the years.  As if she wasn’t a considerable enough actress, Streep shows off her singing prowess here, too.  And MacLaine, whose character is much larger than life, belts out the Broadway tune “I’m Still Here,” just to again take the focus off her daughter.  All this, and comedy to boot.  This is my 3^rd Meryl movie of the month. You can’t get too much Meryl.  4 cans.

16.  The Help (2011) – I loved this movie when it was first released and decided to see it again.  It is the moving, amusing and enlightening story of a group of women housemaids in Jackson, Mississippi, and the exasperating and cruel junior league women who employ them.  When aspiring writer Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone) decides to write about the maids, she has to first earn their trust.  Skeeter isn’t like the snobby young women with whom she was brought up, and she forms a bond with Aibileen (Viola Davis, who lost out on the Oscar only because Meryl made yet another movie), a strong and loving woman who has raised many children for her employers only to see them become just as insensitive as their mothers.  And if you think Abi has stories to tell, wait til you hear Minnie’s (Octavia Spencer, who did win an Oscar).  Skeeter, who goes toe-to-toe with Miss Hilly (Bryce Dallas Howard), head snob of the town.  This is a rich and rewarding movie, which, like the book upon which it is based, should not be missed.  4 cans.

17.  Heartburn (1986) – Meryl Month continues in the Gordon household with this Nora Ephron story based on her marriage to Watergate writer Carl Bernstein.  Considering it co-stars Meryl and Jack Nicholson, Ephron wrote the book, Mike Nichols directed and Carly Simon did several songs, overall, this is a disappointing effort.  Maybe it is that the story is based on the flawed marriage between the main characters.  He cheats and she tries to deal with it.  There are amusing moments, but much of the movie just felt padded and empty.  I remember not liking this one much in the 80s, and it didn’t get better with age.  2½ cans.

Things I Learned in 2013 (and Hope to Remember in 2014)

With all of two weeks' context from which to look back on 2013, I have decided the lessons of the year merit an airing here.

1.  Cancer sucks – Too many people I know have it, had it, are recovering from it – or worse.  This news is always devastating and life-changing.  And while I know people do survive it – I am one, having survived colon cancer back in 2000 – I am angry that cancer interrupts their lives and crushes their hopes.  I know we are mere mortals, but this diagnosis is a slap upside the head for those who receive it themselves, their families and their friends.  Let’s give our support to these individuals, donate to the cause and pray that science can gain the upper hand so we can eradicate this dreaded illness.  Signs of optimism abound.

2.  Losing weight is better than gaining weight – I had a year of no net weight loss, despite going to Weight Watchers faithfully.  Apparently just showing up isn’t enough.  I feel and look better when I am losing, so I am determined to get back on the wagon and head down that path again after a minor interruption.  Your health is everything, and losing weight for me is the key.

3.  Along the same lines, work out! – I went through a tough year with my knee in 2013, seeing two different orthopedic docs and going through months of physical therapy.  Now I know I can push – but not too much. It is so important to be active, although I now understand that I can’t walk 3 miles every day.  But I can do better and be aware of what my body tells me.

4.  Wisdom & Self-control – This was the motto when I went to Douglass College (unlike the fictional Faber College from “Animal House,” where the motto was “Knowledge is good”), and I had to call on it more than ever in 2013, as I had to deal with a number of tough issues as president of the Associate Alumnae of Douglass College.  My term is over at the end of June, and it has been as rewarding as it has been challenging.  I never realized how much “wisdom and self-control” I would need, and how much I could muster.

5.  Sometimes your team loses – I am a passionate fan of many teams, but the Yankees, Giants and Rutgers Football had off-years in 2013, and my beloved Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team did not get into the NCAA tournament for the first time in many years.  Surprisingly, I survived, as did they all, and we live to fight – and cheer – another day.  It’s only a game, right?

6.  What you say or do can have a profound effect on people – I had many instances where people cited things I said or did that meant something to them during the past year.  Some people told me they decide which movies to see based on my reviews.  I have had people quote me to my face from an essay that moved them in some way.  Sometimes it was just to provide a laugh, but other times it was more meaningful. It made me think about what I say and do and that I should take it all a little more to heart.  People who listen to what I say expect it to make sense, I suppose.  But I will always try to leave them laughing, which is sometimes just what they need.

7.  It’s OK to spend money – I know this because my financial advisor assured me it was true.  So when I bought another camera that I didn’t need (but love) and a new car to replace my 16-year old Mercedes, Gracie (I welcomed a 2014 Mercedes, Emma Rose, in September), I didn’t have to justify it to anyone, including myself.  As long as I also support causes that are meaningful to me, I can justify my self-indulgent spending.  After all, I am contributing to the economy, right?  Think of it as the Tina Gordon Stimulus Package.  And that 30% off at Kohl’s must be a win-win.

8.  Time is of the essence – I wish I could spend more of it with friends, but sometimes our mutual obligations and busy schedules get in the way.  I don’t want to regret anything, and time is a precious commodity.  I lost some people who were important to me in 2013, and I saw friends lose people who were important to them, too.  We don’t get them – or the time we missed – back.  In 2014, I vow to spend more of it with the people who mean the most to me – whether they like it or not!

9.  Social networking is the new water cooler – I spent a lot of time on Facebook in 2013, but I think of it this way: I live alone, and all these clever thoughts I used to share with my co-workers would just go to waste if I didn’t have an audience.  So my Facebook timeline is loaded with bon mots – or what I think of as witticisms – that just lie out there until someone reacts.  It’s fun and much easier than doing a stand-up routine.  After all, I can sit down while I type, you know?

10.  Peace and joy – I spend a lot of time thinking about this subject, and how, sometimes, it takes so little to make me happy.  Watching a good movie and sharing it via my reviews, talking on the phone to a dear friend, cleaning out the pantry, knowing that the garbage service will whisk away the expired food – any and all of those things can make my day.  I love coming home to a clean house and clean sheets, courtesy of the cleaning lady.  Most of the time, I AM the cleaning lady, but twice a month I pay someone to do the heavy lifting.  That makes me keep the house neater and tidier, and that gives me peace.  As I get older, my highs aren’t all that high and my lows aren’t all that low, but peace and joy, friends and loved ones, help me to experience contentment.  I appreciate every day and am grateful to live this life.  Peace and joy to all.