Fifty Shades of Grey

How often do I really look in the mirror at my hair? Not that much. I rarely look at the back of my head at all, figuring that’s the view for other people.

So when I was recently assessing the state of my blonde highlights (I hate to disappoint you, but none of the blonde is natural), I realized for the first time how much grey there is throughout my hair: About 50 shades of grey, I figure. (Get your mind out of the gutter immediately. This is HAIR talk, not an essay on some smutty book.)

We’ve all thought about it. Some people get a little grey a little young and immediately start coloring their hair. Some people turn all grey and then white, which I think on many people is a great look. Take British actress Dame Judith Dench, for example. She has a closely cropped ‘do of all white that makes her look better than ever. Interestingly, when I recently saw her new movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” at the old folks theater in Montgomery, there was a sea of similarly colored, if not coiffed, heads surrounding me – most of them on women. And most of them natural.

Remember the old ad campaign for Clairol: “Does she or doesn’t she?” That advertising centered more around the “Blondes have more fun” concept, encouraging women to change the color of their hair long before grey becomes an issue – just to spice up their social lives. I don’t know if blondes have more fun, but I don’t recall ever hearing a blonde say, “where can I get that mousy brown shade? I need to have less fun in my life.”

But when it is not a question of changing your hair color to improve your social life, but instead a way to ward off feeling old and grey? Sometime in the aging process we move from “Does she or doesn’t she?” to “Should I or shouldn’t I?” when it comes to hair color. I know some people who had very dark hair before they started getting grey. Now, coloring it that same dark shade, you see an identifiable path of creeping white along the part or up at the temples, like waves seeking shore. They spend inordinate amounts of time examining the encroaching color to determine when to go for the kill. This can involve a trip to the salon or the process of coloring it at home, using a kit. But good grief, have you seen the hair color aisle in the store? Talk about 50 shades of grey! There are hundreds of shades of every color. How does one decide between autumn blonde and sienna? And who comes up with these names (and the names for paint colors and lipsticks, for that matter)?

Some people’s choice of hair color just gets lighter and lighter as they get grey, though there is no actual grey discernible. I have seen some men, for example, seem to go from black to a look only Red Skelton would love. Natural? I think not. In women, the tendency is to favor blonde. So that raven-haired girl who sat next to you in high school chemistry has used enough chemicals on her head now to look like the blonde cheerleader who you envied. Only by now, she’s probably grey, too.

My grey is different, and, I’d like to think, partially disguised by the surrounding blonde highlights. I think of this mixture as the highlights I pay for and the highlights that come free with the territory.

I’d kind of like to see what happens with my hair instead of coloring it. I can continue with this combination of paid-for blonde and natural brown and encroaching grey to decide when the grey has so far outpaced the blonde that I need to reverse the trend. Or maybe I’ll emulate Jay Leno, who started with dark hair and a white streak and ended up with white hair and one streak of dark hair left over. These days I can’t tell if Helen Mirren is blonde or grey, but that’s a look I’d wear (only shorter).

While on Grand Jury duty recently, I observed the room from my perch in the last row. There are a few people who still have their original color hair, or so it seems, while others have the second original color of their hair, now turned white. It doesn’t look bad on that guy who sleeps through every session, but that’s another story.

I just know that whatever path I take on this “Should she or shouldn’t she decision?” one thing you won’t see are highlights of a completely different hue. No 50 shades of blue for me.

Tina's May 2012 Movies

Here are the movies I watched in May. Numbering picks up from the rest of the year. Movies marked with an * are ones I had not seen previously. All films rated on a scale of 1 (not so good) to 5 (really great) tuna cans.

53. Venus* (2006) – Peter O’Toole plays Maurice Evans, an aging English actor who is so frail that he willingly plays corpses. He enjoys trading sardonic barbs with fellow thespian Ian (Leslie Philips), his equally old and persnickety pal. Maurice and his friends are content to sit around in the local diner, swapping stories and insults while reading the paper. Ian’s niece’s teenage daughter, Jessie (Jodie Whittaker), arrives to care for him, injecting brashness and energy into the sodden atmosphere, and Maurice is smitten with the girl, whom he calls Venus. He is kind to her, takes her shopping and drinking, and doesn’t mind her manipulating tendencies and occasional cruelty. Venus rekindles feelings in Maurice that he thought had ebbed, and that no longer exist with his wife (Vanessa Redgrave), with whom he no longer lives. O’Toole, who closely resembles Henry Fonda in “On Golden Pond” here, was nominated for an Oscar for this understated performance. Whittaker plays Venus with the typical sullenness of a teenager, impatient yet drawn to the old actor. 3½ cans.

54. Larry Crowne* (2011) – Larry Crowne (Tom Hanks) is an average middle-aged guy, a nine-time employee of the month at the local discount store, when he is suddenly fired in a downsizing – supposedly because his lack of a college degree makes him ineligible for advancement to management. When his neighbor advises him to get a degree and make himself “fireproof,” he enrolls in the local community college, where he enthusiastically tackles his economics and communications courses. Lack of enthusiasm is among the things that plagues his speech teacher, Mrs. Tainot (Julie Roberts), who has a lazy, porn-addicted husband and who only hopes that not enough students show up in her classroom so she can cancel the course. Maybe Larry’s luck will turn on what the dean of student services calls Tainot’s “life-changing class.” Larry swaps his gas guzzler for a small motorbike and meets a fellow student who spiffs up his image and appeal. Tom Hanks produced, directed and co-wrote this somewhat predictable story, which you know will end in romance. If not for the appeal of its stars – Julia Roberts, when she finally smiles, still lights up the screen – it might have ended sooner in my house. Nice try, Tom. 3½ cans.

55. State of Play* (2009) – Russell Crowe is a reporter for the fictional Washington Globe who becomes immersed in a story when his good friend, a Congressman played by Ben Affleck, makes the news for having an affair with a young staffer. When the woman commits suicide, Crowe turns up evidence of murder that points to the company Affleck’s powerful committee is investigating, but he needs to tie it all together without compromising the friendship. His newspaper boss (Helen Mirren) wants corroboration on the record, and his young colleague from the on-line side of the paper, played by Rachel McAdams, is ready to rip into the story to prove her worth. So Crowe has a lot of things to handle, not counting the military-trained bad guy who is killing people connected to the case. This is an intriguing drama, with an unkempt Crowe playing both sides but wanting to be the good journalist. There are serious “All the President’s Men” overtones here – the Washington paper, the scruffy journalist and partner who could be replaced by a more senior writer, doors being slammed in reporters’ faces and even a scene in a parking garage (only it’s not Deep Throat, it is the bad guy on the loose there). I am glad I listened to Janie P., who recommended this film, and I will do the same. 4 cans.

56. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) – Is there anyone, anyone, who has not seen this John Hughes classic about a high school student (Matthew Broderick in the title role) who just wants a day off from school? Anyone, anyone? The doubting principal (Jeffrey Jones) is determined to blow Ferris’ cover, but he is one cool kid. He and pal Cameron (the droll Alan Ruck) and girlfriend (Mia Sara) take off in Cam’s father’s Ferrari for a day of adventure around Chicago as the rest of the adult world tries to reel him back in. Ben Stein, playing a teacher with as much enthusiasm as wallpaper, is the hidden gem in this movie, and I love Edie McClurg as the secretary to the evil principal. John Hughes made a bunch of movies in the 1980s centered around teenagers before he went even younger with “Home Alone.” I think this one is among his best. Broderick is utterly charming as Ferris. 4 cans.

57. The Best Most Exotic Marigold Hotel* (2012) – For a bunch of Brits whose financial futures are dim, living life in retirement at the Best, Most Exotic Marigold Hotel in India seems like a good move. The hotel promises to cater to an older crowd, almost like a hostel for the elderly. But when the various characters arrive, the hotel turns out to be better in concept than in actuality. Its manager/owner Sonny (Dev Patel) is full of optimism and good intentions, but the rooms don’t have doors and the place looks all but abandoned. However, this group of characters is played by the royalty of English actors (Dame Judith Dench, Dame Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nighy, among others (I don’t know how they missed Helen Mirren), so you know that the movie will work, at least on some level. One woman hates everything about India as she worries about eating a “bacteria, lettuce and tomato sandwich.” Maggie Smith’s character (who gets the best lines) takes the trip only to have a hip replaced since she can’t wait for the expensive operation in England. Each character has his or her own story, and they all play out against the new world that they have entered, some adapting much better than others. The Marigold may not be a four-star resort, but it gets 4 cans in my book.

58. Invincible (2006) – This drama is the improbable real-life story of super fan Vince Papale (Mark Wahlberg), too old and too small to be a football player, who gets a try-out with his hometown Philadelphia Eagles in the late 1970s and, incredibly, makes the team. A substitute teacher and part-time bartender, Vince is just a neighborhood guy, whose girlfriend leaves him and who is going nowhere (as the ex-girlfriend tells him in a note). When the Eagles’ new coach, Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear), announces try-outs, Vince shows up, convinced he won’t make it. Imagine being in the stands one year, cheering for your team, and the next year being down on the field, facing the Dallas Cowboys, with your friends looking on. This isn’t exactly Rudy, but Papale’s story is almost as compelling. When it comes to sports, you gotta have heart, and Papale has about 180 pounds of it. 3½ cans.

59. Glory Road (2006) – Only in the movies could a first-year, former high school girls’ basketball coach take a Division 1 men’s team to the National Championship – except that this drama is based on a real story. In 1966, Texas Western Coach Don Haskins (played by Josh Lucas) took his team to the title in what became a milestone in sports. Haskins recruited the first black players to the El Paso, Texas, school, and they led the team to a season with only one loss. In the National Championship game, Haskins played only his black players against Kentucky, a 5-time National Champion team led by legendary Coach Adolph Rupp (Jon Voight) – who refused to recruit black players. Haskins quite literally changed the complexion of basketball for all time. Set against the Civil Rights movement, the movie shows the indignities and prejudice faced by the black players and how Haskins molded them and their white teammates into a championship squad. I knew the outcome of the game and the backstory, but still found the drama here thrilling. 4 cans.

60. Fame (1980) – This drama depicts the angst and exhilaration of the young musicians, singers, dancers and drama students – from auditions through graduation – at the New York School of the Performing Arts. Standout performers include dancer Gene Anthony Ray and Irene Cara, who sings the title song along with ”Out Here on My Own.” The plot is not nearly as important as the message, that it is a tough world for performers and you have to dedicate your life to your craft in order to succeed – and that still might not be enough. It gets glum in parts, but when the singers sing, the dancers dance and the musicians play, this movie is an exuberant salute to the performing arts. 3½ cans.

61. No Way Out (1987) – Can it be 25 years since Kevin Costner made his first big splash on the screen in this intriguing drama? Here he stars as Naval Commander Tom Farrell, a self-assured and oh-so-cute guy who takes a job at the Pentagon, working for the Secretary of Defense (Gene Hackman) and reporting to his college friend, the Secretary’s Chief of Staff, played by Will Patton. He hooks up with an attractive woman (Sean Young) at an event (check out the memorable limo scene), unaware that she is involved with the Secretary. She’s not about to break off her rewarding arrangement, so she sends Farrell packing when Hackman’s character drops by one evening. They get into a fight, complications ensue, and suddenly, Farrell is in charge of an investigation that has him as its target. There are spy themes here, a little action, but mostly the viewer has to wonder if Farrell really has no way out. 4 cans.

62. For the Love of the Game (1999) – Kevin Costner’s third baseball movie (“Field of Dreams” and “Bull Durham” are the others) is not only about the national pastime but also a love story. Costner is Billy Chapel, aging right-handed pitcher for the about-to-be-sold Detroit Tigers, who has to make up his mind, something he doesn’t do very well. Arm woes aside, he’s been seeing Jane (Kelly Preston) on and off for five years, and he can’t fully commit to the relationship because he is wedded to baseball. At 40, he knows the end is near, but he still has the love of the game. This story is languorously told, with plenty of baseball scenes, and both of Billy’s loves are fully explored. The end? Let’s just say “perfect.” 4 cans.

63. Bullitt (1968) – Steve McQueen plays Frank Bullitt, one cool cop, in this drama set in San Francisco. He’s put in charge of guarding a federal witness who ends up shot. Bullitt is determined to find the shooter and the motive, chasing him down in one of the most exciting car chases in movie history. Robert Vaughan is the power broker who needs the witness alive and is none too happy when he vanishes from the hospital. McQueen’s total dialog here probably took less time than the nine-minute car chase, but his cool, taciturn manner plays well for the character. Interesting story, and you cannot beat that car scene – except maybe by Gene Hackman in “The French Connection.” 3½ cans.

64. House of Steinbrenner* (2010) – This documentary is part of ESPN’s outstanding series, “30 for 30.” This movie focuses on the ups and downs of George Steinbrenner in his reign as owner of the New York Yankees, with special emphasis on the building of the new Yankee Stadium. Diehard Yankee fans first hated George, then, as the Yankees began to win in the 1990s, embraced “The Boss.” They also loved the old Yankee Stadium, that cathedral of a ballpark, and were skeptical about the shiny new “House That George Built.” While I, too, can shed tears over my first Yankee game (Yogi Berra Night, 1959), I won’t miss the odor of urine in the hallways, the paucity of powder rooms and the lack of monitors when you left your seat to go to the hotdog concession. Maybe I’m a homer, but I just can’t see any other sports franchise – in any sport – conjuring up such passion and vitriol over either an owner or a ballpark. But then, I never went to Ebbetts Field before Walter O’Malley transplanted the Dodgers from Brooklyn to LA. I almost shed a few tears over the Yankee memories this film evoked. 4 cans.

Signs of Spring

Ah, the signs of spring. The smell of mulch fills the air (I hate that smell). The grass gets greener, the flowers bloom, the soft ice cream place opens again – and those ubiquitous “Garage Sale” signs sprout up all over the neighborhood.

Before the advent of Craig’s List, garage sales were the way we got rid of all that stuff we truly didn’t need anymore. Or some people used garage sales to buy – at bargain prices – all that stuff they swore they could really could use.

So this is the time of year when you see driveways full of all that good-intentioned but barely used exercise equipment (now that I can go outside and exercise, I don’t need a stationery bike, you say to yourself), old bed frames, plastic serving platters that you got for free from the caterer, glass vases, and the toys and clothes the kids have outgrown.

When it comes to garage sales, there are two distinct groups of people (though they don’t have to be mutually exclusive) – the buyers and the sellers. Their intersection is evidence of the old adage, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

I fall into the seller category, though I haven’t had a garage sale in quite a while. The amount of merchandise coming into this house hasn’t slowed down, mind you, but I am not getting rid of much of it these days – or at least not since I moved into this house in 2007, after having gotten rid of plenty.

As a seller, the motto is simple: “Move the merchandise.” The last thing you want to do is drag it all out to the driveway and then drag it all back down the basement again. So if that’s the plan, you need to play “the price is right,” and be willing to concede when it isn’t. You put stickers on most everything, and throw the small stuff into a box marked, “All items 50 cents.” People will still pick up a book, examine it like it is a first edition of Hemingway, and ask, “Will you take a dime?” And, depending on the attitude of the potential buyer, you might make a deal. After all, you are in this to make money, right?

Once, I was selling two shower massagers. One was used, so I marked it at $3. The other was brand new, still in the box, so I marked it $5, which I knew was a fraction of the original cost. It was only because I couldn’t install it and didn’t want to pay for a plumber that it was unused in the first place. So bargain hunter A comes up the driveway and begins an examination of both items that was more thorough than my last physical and offers me $3 – for the brand new one. No, I advise her, for $3 you can have that used one. “I give you $3,” she declares. Let’s face it, attitude has a lot to do with the negotiations here, and I didn’t like hers. “No, for $3 you can buy the used one.” By now I am figuring that I’d like to take both and smash them on the driveway in front of her rather than accept her offer. PS – I don’t remember what happened to the shower massagers, but I know that neither went home with her.

Some buyers are very specific. They do a drive-by of your sale and call out the window: “Do you have any kids’ furniture?” Once a woman stopped by and bought all of my audio tapes (OK, this was so long ago that we didn’t have CDs then). She didn’t care about the music, since she was probably hauling them off to Englishtown to sell at a flea market. Another time a man came by looking for old VCRs. He didn’t care whether they worked since he was looking for parts. The next year I had more VCRs ready in case he showed up again. Sadly, he didn’t.

People like to examine your merchandise and they want assurance that it will work. Once someone came back the day after the sale ended to return a phone that allegedly didn’t work. Return? At a garage sale? We don’t have a return policy. The trouble is, they know where you live. But didn’t you see our “Going Out of Business” sign?

A friend of mine used to have an annual garage sale, and there was so much stuff in her driveway that she needed multiple “sales people” to handle the crowd. We set up a sporting goods department, grouped the lamps together, and assured buyers that new merchandise was arriving daily. The next week, someone stopped back, assuming this was a weekly event. Her husband made out well that year when he accidentally sold a car. Put it this way: The car wasn’t for sale – at least not until someone made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

My sister and I combined forces for a garage sale at her house once, where she was determined to get rid of all the stuff her son no longer needed, including a bike. She priced it fairly and then engaged in rigorous negotiations – with a little girl, whose mother sat in the car while the kid delivered her authorized top price. In the end, the kid caved. “Congratulations,” I offered my sister. “You just beat the kid out of a dollar.”

Another time I was selling an old microwave. The house I had just bought had a built-in model, so I didn’t need the countertop one from the old house. Someone came along and paid me $20 for it – big bucks in the garage sale biz. As he was walking away, lugging the bulky microwave, he turned to me and asked, “Does it work?” Shouldn’t he have asked me that before plunking down his $20? Yes, I assured him, explaining why I was getting rid of it. He bought it – the microwave and the story.

Garage sales typically begin on Friday and can last through Sunday. Even as you are dragging your stuff out, the “early birds” begin flocking in. These are the people who arrive before the published start time of the sale, eager to beat out the competition for the prime merchandise. It is always a pain to deal with them, because you are busy setting up, figuring out where things are going to go and how to show them in the best way, all the while keeping an eye on the early arrivals, both for their interest and to be sure that they won’t walk off with something behind your back. Some people want to bargain with you early, offering half of your tagged price. “It’s 8 AM,” I told one person. “Come back at 3 and if it is still here, then we can talk.” I sold that item for the listed price that morning. While I was hustling my merchandise, the neighbor down the street was more clever. She sold cold drinks and grilled hotdogs on a hot day. I know SHE made money that day.

As a shopper, you have to get out early (which is one reason I don’t shop garage sales, since I am not a morning person). My friend, a dedicated garage sale shopper and antiques expert, told me recently about the beautiful outdoor bar she spotted at a neighbor’s house. It would be just perfect for her deck, she explained. But, unfortunately, by the time she got there, it had already been sold. And that was at 7:30.

You can pick up considerable bargains at garage sales. My friend’s husband bought a pressure cooker years ago for about a dollar. He still uses it. And other friends have bought their grandchildren all kinds of children’s furniture, car seats, high chairs, desks and toys for a fraction of what you’d pay at Toys R Us. Most of the stuff is in pretty good shape or can be cleaned and spiffed up to look like new.

Shoppers take heart when they hear stories about people who have spent $5 on a painting and later found out it was an original by Rembrandt or some other famous artist (fueled by the popularity of the PBS series, “Antiques Roadshow”). Those stories are usually “urban legends,” but it is nice to think we can own a piece of art that the Metropolitan Museum of Art would die for, isn’t it?

As a seller, with all that work – retrieving your sale items, sorting and pricing them, putting them on display – you want your sale to show a profit. If you end the sale with little to haul away and $50 in your pocket, it is a good day. The more good merchandise you have, the more money you will make (weather and other conditions taken into consideration). Another friend recently had a garage sale where her husband sold old fishing rods he had repaired and he made $400. She sold enough stuff to make $75, so she didn’t do as well, but she had little left to haul back into the house.

One option is not to return the leftovers back to the house at all, but simply to leave them at the curb with a sign reading “FREE.” Still, once in a while, you see someone examining the free vacuum cleaner you left at the curb, checking that every attachment is there and in what looks like workable condition before deciding whether to take it away – FOR FREE! Man, you can’t give some stuff away!

Tina's April 2012 Movies

Here are the movies I watched in April.  Numbering picks up from the previous month, and movies marked with an* were ones I had not seen previously.

40.  The Terminal (2004) – In “Cast Away,” Tom Hanks was stranded on a remote island, forced to figure out how to survive.  Here, he is Viktor Navorski, stranded at JFK Airport and forced to figure out how to survive when his tiny Eastern European country is in civil war  and no longer recognized by the U.S., thus voiding his visa.  The mean man in charge of security (Stanley Tucci) tells him to wait, and, being a compliant guy who speaks little English, Viktor does just that – for more than 9 months. He lives at gate 64, makes friends with the airport staff, improves his English by reading books at Borders and even gets a construction job so he can make money to survive.  All he wants to do is set foot in New York, but his quest seems as impossible as his relationship with lovely airline flight attendant Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones).  The more I see Tom Hanks, the more I realize what a treasure he is to the movies.  Anyone cooped up interminably in a terminal might go mad, but Hanks, like he does in “Cast Away,” makes you believe he can endure it.  You just can’t help liking his characters and admiring his skill as an actor.  4 cans.

41.  Word Play (2006) – This entertaining documentary offers a gentle cross-examination of the world of crossword puzzles, their creation and their enthusiasts.  Among those profiled are such dedicated puzzlers as former President Bill Clinton, baseball pitcher Mike Mussina, and comedian Jon Stewart.  The star of the show is Will Shortz, the amiable editor of the venerable New York Times crossword puzzle and the originator of the annual American Crossword Puzzle Competition.  Each year contestants gather at the Stamford, CT, Marriott to participate in timed competitions to determine the winner.  Contestants spend the year in between competitions honing their skills and timing themselves on the daily puzzle.  The competitors include a 20-year old student from Rensselear Polytech, a man from Florida and a guy named Al, who competes every year but has never won.  Don’t get down and out, Al, there’s always next year.  4 cans.

42.  Splash (1984) – A very young Tom Hanks teams up with director Ron Howard on this fantasy/comedy about a man who can’t swim who falls for a mermaid (Darryl Hannah).  Hanks and his brother (John Candy) own a food company, and when mermaid Madison comes along, Hank knows he has made a big catch.  She sheds her mermaid attributes while not in the water, so Hanks doesn’t know her true identity, but a scientist played by Eugene Levy is studying her and ready to expose her (which would happen more readily if her strategically placed hair ever moved).  Hannah is fetching as the innocent who gets accustomed to land-locked love, but when Hanks discovers her secret this charmer gets a little too madcap for me, with scientists and the brothers chasing the bad guys and each other.  You can see the future success destined for the stars and director even if this movie sometimes seems all wet.  Hats off to Dodie Goodman for a small but hilarious role as the whacky office manager.  3 cans, but no tuna.

43.  The Scout* (1994) – Today is opening day for the New York Yankees, so it is only fitting that I watch a baseball movie that ends up in Yankee Stadium.  Here Albert Brooks is Al Percolo, a baseball scout who lives on the road, trying to find future baseball starts.  When his latest phenom fizzles, Al is sentenced – I mean sent – to central Mexico, the minorest of minor leagues.  There he unexpectedly meets the stud of all stud baseball players, Steve Nebraska (Brendan Fraser), who can throw a fastball so hard he knocks over the catcher and umpire.  Oh, and he hits homeruns, too.  Al convinces him to come to New York, where the Yankees make him an offer no one in his right mind could refuse.  Trouble is, Steve may not be in his right mind, so Al sets him up with a psychiatrist (Dianne Wiest) for therapy.  Will he take his prodigious talents to the big leagues, or will he and Al drive each other crazy?  By the way, there is more fantasy in this movie when it comes to baseball realities than there was in “Splash.”  3 cans.

44.  Jerry Maguire (1996) – Tom Cruise is slick sports agent Jerry Maguire, a man who first gets into your living room, then your head, and finally your heart.  He is living the good life, repping the presumed top NFL draft pick, engaged to a sexy woman (Kelly Preston) and excelling at his job.  But one night, after a few too many drinks, he writes a “mission statement” that eviscerates the profession for its greed, urges integrity – and costs him his job and his fiancée.  He marches out of the agency with his principles, a couple of fish, one client and a low-level staffer named Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellwegger) who believes in him.  His one remaining client, wide receiver Rod Tidwell (Oscar-winning Cuba Gooding, Jr.), exhorts him to “show me the money!”  Jerry Maguire yearns for the love, which he thinks he’s found with Dorothy and her irresistible son Ray (Jonathan Lipnicki), but he is incapable of real intimacy.  This is the movie that gave us Zellwegger, Lipinicki and his 8-pound head and a small but juicy part for one of my favorite actresses, Bonnie Hunt.  Tom Cruise, this time you had me at hello.  4 cans.

45.  Evening* (2007) – Vanessa Redgrave portrays Ann, an elderly dying woman in this poignant drama.  On her deathbed, surrounded by her two daughters (real-life daughter Natasha Richardson and Toni Collette), Ann begins to have flashbacks about a great love in her life and her regrets.  Claire Danes plays the young Ann on the weekend of the wedding of her best friend Lila (Mamie Gummer), and Patrick Wilson is Harris, the man they both love.  As her daughters try to figure out Ann’s ramblings and names they have never heard before, her best friend, Lila (Gummer’s real mother, Meryl Streep) pays a visit to her dying friend.  This is a lovely look at life, the decisions we make – or don’t make – and what happens as a result.  4 cans.

46.  The Money Pit (1986) – Young couple Walter and Anna (Tom Hanks and Shelley Long) experience the nightmare that is home renovation in this slapstick comedy by Richard Benjamin.  Desperate for a place to live, they settle on a suburban home that appears to be a steal.  It also appears to have working plumbing, electricity and a staircase, but all those things are short-lived, and they must find and work with contractors, plumbers and the rest of the crew, all of whom assure them the repairs will take “two weeks.”  Months later, they are still hauling water by bucket up a ladder to bathe.  This movie has much more slapstick than I can generally tolerate, but Hanks and Long made me laugh out loud more than once.  And yes, my Tom Hanks movie marathon continues (number 7 for the year).  3 cans.

47.  Bridesmaids (2011) – When I first saw this movie last year, I found the raunchy comedy to be refreshingly distasteful.  However, seeing it a second time, without the surprise, I found myself dissecting it.  Some of the scenes go on too long and some of the subplots are just not necessary (Kristen Wiig’s roommates don’t deserve nearly this much screen time).  For those who are unfamiliar with the story, Wiig plays Annie, who has lost her business and her apartment, has a broken down car, who sleeps with a guy who makes her feel used (Jon Hamm), and who is forced to live with her alcoholic mother (the late, great Jill Clayburgh).  In other words, this story is destined to be a comedy, right?  The comedy part is when she takes on the role of maid of honor at her long-time best friend’s wedding (Maya Rudolph), whose new best friend (Rose Byrne) is determined to out-bridesmaid her.  Their rivalry is the centerpiece of the comedy, with heavy doses (pardon the pun) of Oscar-nominated Melissa McCarthy as a “fellow” bridesmaid.  I still laughed, but, though this is a fun movie to share with your girlfriends, it is not one that I’ll watch every time it airs on TV.  4 cans.

48.   Trading Places (1983) – Unlike “Bridesmaids,” this is a movie I seldom pass up a chance to see.  This delicious comedy stars Eddie Murphy as small-time hustler Bill Ray Valentine, Capricorn.  Dan Ackroyd plays his counterpart, the rich and snobby Louis Winthorp.  Winthorp’s even wealthier bosses at a commodities trading company, Mortimer and Randolph Duke (Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy), conduct an experiment to see if Valentine can succeed and Winthorp fail if they arrange a sneaky switch of their stations in life.  Winthorp, now arrested and penniless, meets hooker-with-a-heart-and-a-head-for-business Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis), who takes him in.  When the two men realize they have been had, they team up for revenge, aiming for the Dukes’ fortune.  Murphy is great, especially in the first third of the movie as the hustler and as he adapts to his new, rich life, exhorting his former posse to use coasters and stop putting out their Kools on his rug.  A shout out is due for Coleman the butler (Denholm Elliott).  There are memorable lines throughout the movie, and I know them all.  But I will keep watching this movie anyway.  4½ cans.

49.  The Lucky One* (2012) – Blue-eyed Zac Efron stars in this Nicholas Sparks’ story of a Marine who finds a picture of a woman in the rubble of a battle and feels that she has saved his life.  Determined to track her down to thank her, he somehow walks from Colorado to Louisiana, where, naturally, he finds her and, just as expected, they fall in love before he finds the right moment to reveal why he tracked her down.  I’ve read several of Sparks’ books, and they all feature stoic and noble men who are incredibly understanding and amazingly competent.  Here, Efron’s character, Logan, can play chess and piano expertly, and he can train dogs, repair boat engines and broken hearts.  The predictability of the story seems inevitable, but overall, the movie, co-starring Taylor Schilling and Blythe Danner, was less cheesy than I expected.  The real stretch of credibility is that Logan could walk from Colorado and find the woman with such a minimum of fuss and bother.  3½ cans.

50.  Separate Lies (2005) – “Downton Abbey” creator Julian Fellowes wrote and directed this sophisticated movie about a wealthy couple who become involved in a murder cover-up.  Tom Wilkinson is James, a London solicitor, and Emily Watson is his loving wife, Annie.  When the husband of their housekeeper is killed in a hit and run accident near their country home, James begins to suspect the involvement of their friend Bill Buell (Rupert Everett).  As the story progresses, there are secrets and lies revealed and consequences to face.  This is a slowly told tale as the layers of the story begin to unfold.  I found it interesting and engrossing. 4 cans.

51.  Water for Elephants* (2011) – Jacob (Robert Pattinson) is taking his veterinary exams at Cornell when he is removed from class and informed that his parents have died in a car accident.  Left penniless, Jacob walks down the railroad tracks and hops on a passing train, which turns out to be a circus train.  With his veterinary skills, he is assigned the task of caring for the animals, including the new attraction designed to bring profitability to the failing enterprise – an elephant named Rosie.  The circus is run by a mean ringmaster (Christoph Walz) and headlined by his wife (Reese Witherspoon), who learns to ride and show off Rosie’s talents.  Predictably, the young vet and the veteran performer fall in love and Jacob lands in trouble.  I’m told that the book was great, but as for the movie?  Well, it’s OK, but not something I’d make sure to see again.  This is my first exposure to Robert Pattinson (since I haven’t seen his “Twilight” movies), and I found him to be believable in the role.  I couldn’t help thinking how badly he must have smelled, wearing the same clothes and cleaning out the animal cages.  3½ cans.

52.  The Great Escape* (1963) – As war movies – or, more accurately, prisoner of war movies – go, this one is about as interesting and entertaining as they come.  Based on a true story, the movie details how the Allied Forces captured and sent in 1942 to a German POW camp that is purported to be impossible to escapable plot to ruin its reputation by doing just that.  Among the cool characters working on the escape plan are Steve McQueen, James Garner, Charles Bronson and James Coburn.  Each man has his assignment and his specialty, and the way they cover up their covert activities is clever indeed.  Unlike my favorite prison movie, “The Shawshank Redemption,” which has one man working to dig a tunnel to escape (and you don’t know he has done it until he actually escapes), this one has legions of men burrowing away underground, devising tools and implements to dig and get rid of the dirt and to ultimately liberate hundreds of POWs.  I won’t reveal the end except to remind you that war is hell, yet this movie is refreshing and absorbing.  4 cans.

12 Step Program

With apologies to my BFFs, there is a new girl in town. We met through mutual friends several months back, and although we haven't gotten together much since then, I have a feeling she will be an important part of my life.

The new girl has plenty of friends herself, and, like her, they are relentlessly cheery and ready to smile and have a good time. They travel in a pack – I doubt she goes anywhere alone – and they are there to cheer each other on. You can tell immediately upon meeting her that she is the leader of this pack. She is willing to drop by whenever I want to see her, requiring no notice, and she'll leave just as readily.

It took me a long time to have her over. Oh, she was here, but I wouldn't speak to her. I kept putting her off, claiming I had other (better, more important) things to do. Even if I didn't.

Finally, I decided it was time to get better acquainted. I invited Leslie Sansone into my family room, removed her DVD from her package, and sat down, exhausted at the prospect of keeping up with her and her gang of fitness freaks.

Leslie Sansone is the Queen of Walking DVDs. The one I bought, after being introduced to her at a walking class after Weight Watchers, is called "Walk Slim." You'll notice that these are both four-letter words. The subtitle is "5 Really Big Miles." Well, I thought, a mile is still a mile, so how big can it get? I’d soon find out.

Working out with Leslie isn't for the faint of heart. She cajoles you into walking, walking, walking. I was exhausted during the five-minute warm-up, when the most vigorous thing we did besides marching was to take sidesteps. By the time we launched into mile 1, I was considering switching to the PBS exercise program for seniors, "Sit and Be Fit," which seemed more my speed. But I persisted through kicks, high knees, double "tap outs" and even an occasional grapevine. Anything that involved moving my arms in conjunction with my legs presented a new challenge. Clearly, coordination is not my strong suit. Then, as an added challenge, we moved into exercises using a stretchy band of rubber that came with the DVD. OK, now I was really challenged. I have new respect for anyone who can do Zumba classes, since I was about as graceful as C.C. Sabathia in a ballet class with my legs moving side to side and the band stretching diagonally, trying not to trip or do other bodily harm.

All the while you follow Leslie, she makes you walk. In between sidesteps and grapevines, you walk. And then you march. And then you walk some more. For someone who expects to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor for plugging in the iPod and venturing outside for a 45-minute walk around the neighborhood, this seems in theory to be easy but in practice is – how can I put this? – torture! My thighs were burning, my knees were tingling, and my core, which was supposed to be tightening up, was just missing in action.

My sister Nancy has known Leslie for years. In fact, they get together nearly every morning. Though Nancy likes to walk outside, she and Leslie keep in close contact all winter, and they spend a lot of time together throughout the year. By this time, she knows all of Leslie’s moves, so she listens to her own music and ignores Leslie’s audio, just following her by watching the exercises. If you saw my sister, you’d know this technique works for her.

Mind you, Leslie is hardly the only game in town. There are DVDs on Zumba, countless other fitness videos from countless other experts, and programs with provocative (and, frankly, scary) names like “Killer Thighs,” “Buns of Steel,” etc. Compared to these, the rather amiable title of Leslie’s “Walk Slim” seems pretty friendly to me.

So why put myself through this routine? Having lost 60+ pounds on Weight Watchers, I realize that diet alone isn’t going to help me continue to lose weight and improve my health. I need to do more than bob around in the pool with my aqua aerobics pals a couple of times a week. Let’s face it, 60 pounds ago, I wouldn’t have had the strength to open Leslie’s DVD (step 1 in my 12-step program), but now I have the energy to do so much more that it is time to step it up, so to speak.

As for me, I’d like to see pictures of Leslie and her gang BEFORE they started this 12-step program. Did they look like me? Is how they look now how I will look if I continue to invite Leslie into my home and follow her around the family room? I don't know but I better keep walking. So far, I have only conquered miles one and two of the 5 really big miles. Already my pants feel bigger – though I realize that that might just be wishful thinking. Will Leslie come back and try to push me further? Will I let her in or put her DVD in the closet with the collection of others I don't watch?

Stay tuned. Or toned. I’m only up to step 2.