“Is anyone here not familiar with Weight Watchers?” the leader asked the assembled (mostly) senior women.
Not a hand was raised.
“Oh, so you are all repeat offenders,” she noted, as we all ashamedly shook our heads. But this time it will be different, we resolved in our minds that instant. This time it will work.
One of my pool pals had asked me to go with her to Weight Watchers, which is how I started this time around, weighing a mere 25 pounds more than I weighed the last time I joined. “You just want me to come to support you, right?” I asked her. “Not because I need to lose weight.” She assured me it was the former, but we both knew the truth.
So, yes, I am back in the WW fold, subscribing to the WW philosophy, counting my points, tracking my food choices and taking things one day at a time. And wondering – How did I let it get this bad again (the only thing I have in common with Oprah)?
There are places on earth where people are starving to death, while here in the U.S. we supersize our meals, eat on the run and have access to the healthiest and worst food possible –all at the same time. I would have trouble hooking up with a drug dealer, but I can slip anonymously into a Quik Check and buy a bag of M&Ms without anyone’s being the wiser. Except that 10 pounds later, people might look at me and figure something had to happen or my ass would not be this big. And we have to eat, right? So food is all around and is always an issue. It is making the smart choices and realizing my limits that will help me succeed, and I’m feeling pretty motivated and hopeful these days.
I’ve hit rock bottom more times than a boxer down on his luck. I’ve been told by my highly educated doctor that I need to lose weight. And there have been so many signs: The seats in the movie theater seem smaller than ever. My glasses and socks seem tight. And my knees have buckled under the strain of carting around all those extra pounds.
It’s not like I don’t know what to do. It is simple, really: Eat less and move more. Got that. But until you are ready, it’s tough to swallow. You know what I mean. I have friends who have gone through weight loss surgery successfully, but that doesn’t make sense to me. First, I am still too small, although one friend encouraged me, “eat your way up,” advice that made absolutely no sense to me. And second, aside from the risks inherent in any kind of surgery/recovery, after the surgery you have to go on a massive diet anyway (because you are still massive at that point) since your body can no longer take in that much food. The way I look at it, why not just do the diet and skip the surgery? My insurance company will thank me in the long run.
So now I wander around the supermarket, bypassing the danger zones (candy aisle, bakery), armed with my official Weight Watchers calculator, inputting carbs, fat, fiber and protein to determine the point total of a single serving of whatever food is in my hand. Ah, there’s the rub: What is a single serving anyway? When you look at the former gallon size of ice cream, it tells you there are 12 servings. Please. For some people, everything is the single serving size.
Weight Watchers has changed its ways and now allows you to eat fruit within reasonable limits without counting any points. As our leader cautioned, consuming an entire watermelon will probably not result in weight loss (though you might be ready for a colonoscopy afterwards).
The hard part for me is portion control and avoiding the bad stuff – which makes me fairly typical. Armed with my measuring cups, I dole out a single portion of rice, cereal and even a cup of fruit. Since Weight Watchers allows you extra points beyond your assigned total (which is based on your weight) each week, in theory you could consume an entire chocolate cake as long as you count the points (and don’t eat anything else). You can see where my thinking goes, and I am working hard to change it. I wouldn’t mind being a lifetime member of Weight Watchers (someone who meets the appropriate weight on the chart and maintains it within two pounds – being weighed monthly – can come forever for free). I don’t think they encourage you to be a lifetime member who shows up every few years weighing more than she did last time she joined (guilty). Don’t we all wish we weighed now what we weighed when we first realized we had to lose weight?
Will I succeed? I sure hope so, because this time I am in it to win in. Summer is coming in a few months, and even I don’t want to see me in a shorts or a bathing suit, so the timing is right to drop 10 or 50 pounds before that happens. I look forward to the day I can shop in my own closet, trying on the old stuff that was too tight and finding that it is now too big (to say nothing of outdated). I have jeans in more sizes than the GAP, so I am prepared to be appropriately dressed at any size. I relish not having to buy bigger clothes because the old ones “shrunk at the cleaners” – even the ones I don’t take to the cleaners (wink, wink). Next year is my 40th college reunion, and, as president of my class, I’ll be very visible (though at this current size I am hard to miss). So doing this now to make me look and feel better is all good.
So far, so good. After the first 6 weeks, I’m down about 13 pounds. I promise to update you once in a while to let you know how I am doing. If I don’t, you’ll know I slipped off the wagon and into the closest Burger King. God forbid!
Stay tuned. I’m still weighting.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tina's February Movies 2011
February is Oscar month, the time of year they award the Oscars, and Turner Classic Movies launches 31 days of Oscar, featuring lots of Oscar-winning movies. I taped a bunch, watched some -- as you will see below -- and enjoyed another month of movie watching. I am sticking to my goal of watching movies I either have not seen previously (marked with an *) or movies I haven't seen in 20 years or more. Here's what I saw in February. (Numbering picks up from previous month, and ratings are done on the scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, 5 being the top score.)
FEBRUARY *= My first time seeing this movie
13. Against All Odds * (TV) – A buff and tan Jeff Bridges (circa 1984) adds visual appeal to this drama about a football player (Bridges) who is cut by his team and hired by a bookmaker to look for his missing girlfriend (Rachel Ward). All kinds of complications arise as he finds her on the beaches of
14. Last Summer (TV) – This 1969 movie features three teenagers summering at the beach, pushing the boundaries of friendship, truth and sexuality, as they build a bond based on selfish interests and bad home lives. Teenage temptress Barbara Hershey plays what we would now call the “mean girl,” as she manipulates and tantalizes Richard Thomas and Bruce Davison and preys upon newcomer Cathy Burns. The movie careens to an ending that is unexpected and outrageous. I wish I could remember a summer with so little parental supervision – and these young people could have used some. 3 cans.
15.
16. The Producers (TCM) – The lunacy of Mel Brooks has never been better than in this hilarious movie about a has-been Broadway producer determined to stage a flop and keep the money from the backers, a bunch of horny old ladies he coaxes into financing the show. No one but Brooks could imagine a Broadway musical based on Hitler and the Nazis and featuring dancing stormtroopers. This is the original production, with a bug-eyed and stringy-haired Zero Mostel as producer Max Bialystock and wide-eyed innocent Gene Wilder as his accountant and partner in crime, Leo Bloom. The look on the faces of the audience as they watch the “Springtime for Hitler” number is unforgettable, and there are a million hysterical bits and characters scattered throughout the 90-minute gem. Ironically, Brooks was married to Anne Bancroft at the time and had a hand as producer himself in “
17. Radio Days (TCM) – Woody Allen serves up this pitch perfect paean to the days of his Rockaway youth, when radio ruled the airwaves and people gathered together in living rooms to listen to their favorite shows. Featuring the usual cast of Allen characters (Mia Farrow, Diane Keaton, Diane Weist, Tony Roberts, Julie Kavner and a young Seth Green playing Allen himself), this pastiche of vignettes seems authentic but oddly assembled. One scene is forced to lead to another and the result seems like a self-indulgent stroll down memory lane with no real destination in mind. Not one of Allen’s best, but with impeccable production design and wardrobe. After all, how often can you see women with their hair in snoods? 3½ cans.
18. Come Back, Little
19. The Red Badge of Courage* (TCM) – Men at war can demonstrate either courage or cowardice, and young Frank, a Union soldier in the Civil War, displays both in this film adaptation of the Stephen Crane novel. Frank deserts his regiment after a battle with the Rebel forces, only to find them again and ultimately lead them, waving the flag, in their final battle. The book is required reading in high school, and I think it plays better print than on the screen, where the characters seem a little too noble and the tale too corny. 2½ cans.
20. The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman (TV) – In honor of Black History Month, I decided to revisit this classic TV saga of a woman whose life spans from slavery to civil rights and who tells her tale to a magazine writer. Cicely Tyson won an Emmy for her portrayal of Miss Jane, and whether layered with makeup or young and working in the fields, she handles the demanding role with aplomb. The last scene of this TV-movie is one of the most memorable scenes in TV history, as 110-year old Miss Jane walks ever so slowly to the “whites only” fountain and, in an act of defiance, takes a sip of water for all the town to see. Classic. 4½ cans.
21. High Noon* (TCM) – Although he starts the day by marrying Grace Kelly, the day takes a turn for the worse for Marshal Will Keane. The dreaded criminal Frank Miller is released from prison and heading to town. The judge who convicted him packs his bags and gets out of Dodge lickety-split, the deputy quits and it looks like Keane (Gary Cooper) can’t recruit any deputies so he’ll have to face down the whole Miller gang alone when the noon train arrives in town. This is an iconic American Western, with the brave marshal determined to do what’s right. Beautifully shot in black and white with close-ups of taut and perspiring faces, this movie has your basic gunfight, good guy against bad guys. Will Grace Kelly get out of town, leaving her man behind – or dead? Only time will tell, and it’s almost noon. Not really my kind of movie, and I found Cooper very wooden in the role (though Grace Kelly was absolutely gorgeous). 3½ cans.
22. Auntie Mame (TV) – The incomparable Rosalind Russell stars as the irrepressible Auntie Mame in this delightful story of an eccentric and wealthy
23. Unknown* (Hillsboro) – I finally got out to the movies this month, just in time for Liam Leeson’s latest one-word title action movie. Imagine being in a city where you don’t speak the language, you leave your wife at the hotel while you go back to the airport to retrieve the briefcase you inadvertently left behind, and the next thing you know, your cab crashes into a river and you nearly drown. And that’s just the beginning of this intriguing movie. I tried to stay as alert as possible so I could figure out exactly what was happening, but there were plenty of twists and turns I never saw coming, and I’m not just talking about car chases. All I can tell you is that if Diane Kruger offers you a ride, don’t get into the car. 4 cans.
24. The Rosa Parks Story* (TV) – One day in 1955 Rosa Parks got on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama, and rode into history. Parks, a dignified, quiet but determined black woman, was an advocate of civil rights, but hardly a confrontational sort. This one day, coming home from work and sitting in the “colored” section of the city bus, she had simply had enough and refused to give up her seat to a white man. She was arrested, taken to jail and prosecuted for the crime. Her single act of defiance galvanized the black community, which boycotted city buses. Ultimately, Parks was acquitted and the despicable Jim Crow laws that governed the city and state were declared illegal. Angela Bassett plays Parks with a quiet strength and resolve and the actor who plays her husband will no doubt play Barack Obama someday since there is such a strong resemblance between them. 3½ cans.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Shore Enough
Shakespeare, Hemingway, Dickens.
These authors are so renowned that they can be identified by a single name. Now we can add a new legend to this pantheon of literary giants: Snooki.
Snooki? Really? Yes, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, self-described “guidette” and member of that TV phenomenon, “
Snooki, whom most of us are certain has never read a book, is now an author, albeit with a vocabulary that includes words such as “gorilla juicehead.” Will she be in the Library of Congress? Has she ever actually been in a library?
For those of you not up on your pop culture, “Jersey Shore,” which debuted last year, carries on the MTV “Real World” tradition of putting young strangers in a house – this time in Seaside Heights, NJ – and recording their every movement, hoping for drama and abhorrent behavior. No problem. Though these young “adults” do exactly what you did when you went down the shore – beach, bars and booze – they take it to the next level, complete with hook-ups, hangovers and arrests (OK, some of you undoubtedly are thinking, “That was my time at the shore, too.”). With the cameras rolling and the encouragement to make it interesting by the ever-present producers, they binge and brawl – mostly the girls – and call each other names that cannot be repeated here. And that’s just in episode 1.
Not that it matters for TV purposes, but most of the cast comes from outside NJ and some aren’t even Italian, despite the large Italian flag hung on the door of the shore house. They are the ultimate “bennies.” If you are in a bar when they come along, you have to sign a release to give permission to the producers to use you on TV. Some of the patrons let more than the producers use them, but I’m not entirely sure that makes sluts any different from the way they behaved back in my day, does it? It’s just that these people do their dirty deeds in the “smush room” for all of us to see via voyeuristic TV.
Last season the cast transplanted itself to
Now the show is back in
Believe me, I am not proud to say I watch this show. The conversations here are hardly fodder for the Algonquin Roundtable, and there are virtually no redeeming reasons to observe this kind of behavior other than to decry it. (I justify my addiction by comparing myself to an anthropologist observing behavior. Yeah, that’s the ticket, I’m freakin’ Margaret Mead!) It is like passing an accident on the highway – you can’t help but look. Besides, it shows aspects of our culture that we can recognize as the end of the world as we know it – if this behavior in any way represents the generation it depicts on TV. I hope not.
Let’s put it this way: If I lived next door to these people, I’d move. And if they were my kids, I’d cut them off. Not that it would matter, because they are all well-paid on this break from their real-life waitressing and bar-tending jobs. Mike “The Situation” is purportedly earning $5 million this year alone, parlaying his fame and his amazing abs into a stint on the mostly respectable, more mainstream show “Dancing With the Stars.” And Andy Warhol promised they’d only be famous for 15 minutes.
With all this activity, it makes you wonder how Snooki had time to write that book, doesn’t it (she said, dripping with sarcasm)? All I know is that the rumbling sound you hear is Shakespeare, Hemingway and Dickens turning over in their graves.
The producers recently announced that the show’s stars are being deported – I mean planning to travel – to
Good luck,
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tina's January Movies 2011
Tina's January Movies
This year I have resolved to try to see movies I have never seen before or movies that I haven’t seen in such a long time that I can barely remember them. That means occasionally bypassing “The Graduate” and “Shawshank Redemption” – or at least not reviewing them – in favor of something completely different (see number 6 below). For those of you who follow along, I hope to continue to give you suggestions you find useful or to entertain you along the way. As always, films are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, preferably my favorite, Bumble Bee.
1. Requiem for a Heavyweight (TV) – This is Rod Serling’s sad tale of Mountain Rivera, an over-the-hill heavyweight boxer (Anthony Quinn) who is one blow away from blindness. After a 17-year career and one-time title hopes, Mountain has nowhere to go and nothing to do. A kind heart and an addled mind make him feel obligated to his manager (Jackie Gleason), who has been making a living off his prize catch long beyond the boxer’s true expiration date. Mountain, proud that he never took a dive, doesn’t know that his own manager bet against him to cash in on a big payday, only to be thwarted by the boxer’s unexpected stamina. Gleason, Mickey Rooney and Quinn, with a mumble like Marlon Brando’s Vito Corleone, shine in this drama, originally produced for TV. Julie Harris has a part as a sympathetic unemployment worker anxious to help Rivera (that part seemed a little on the science fiction side to me). 4 cans.
2. Raging Bull (TV) – It sickens me to think of Robert DeNiro selling his creative soul to commercial crap like “Little Fockers.” Here he portrays boxer Jake LaMotta, a raging man who bulls his way through life, wives, family, friends and the boxing ring. This movie, along with “Mean Streets,” represents the quintessential collaboration between DeNiro and director Martin Scorsese, depicting New York life and desperate characters searching for something they cannot quite understand. This is the first movie I can recall where an actor transformed his body to resemble the character – first trimming down to a buff physique and then by gaining 80 pounds to play the same character as fat, flabby and nearly forgotten. Brilliant work, made better by the astute choice of black and white cinematography that adds a gritty texture. One of the best movies ever made, but clearly not for all audiences. 5 raging cans.
3. The Caine Mutiny (TCM) – This thought-provoking movie stars Humphrey Bogart as Lt. Colonel Queeg, the somewhat paranoid, slightly off-kilter Captain of the Caine, a ship in disrepair that the captain is determined to salvage. His senior officers immediately dislike his by-the-book approach, focusing on details like having the crew’s shirts tucked in, and they question his courage. When a typhoon hits the ship near Pearl Harbor, Queeg’s insistence on following orders puts the ship in jeopardy and causes Executive Officer Steven Marek (Van Johnson) to take control. Is Marek’s act a mutiny, or was the ship in danger of going down because of Queeg’s incompetence? Watch the movie and see for yourself. In the end, it’s all about the strawberries. 4½ cans.
4. Mildred Pierce (TCM) – Is there a mother anywhere who hasn’t said (or at least wanted to say) to her child, “After all I do for you, this is the gratitude I get?” In the case of Mildred Pierce, you could hardly blame her. Mildred (Joan Crawford, complete with big bangs, oversized shoulder pads and oh, those eyebrows, won an Oscar for her performance) is a hard working mother who dotes on her daughters. When the younger one dies, all of her attention shifts to Veda, her spoiled older daughter whose taste for the good life makes her ever more demanding. This is the classic ‘40s style movie, shot in black and white, with that film noir look. Everybody smokes and drinks, the men all wear fedoras, the score is dramatic and oh, yeah, somebody gets shot. I liked this movie, but I couldn’t stopping thinking about the Carol Burnett-Harvey Korman take-off. 3½ cans, mostly for the style.
5. Fly Away Home (TV) – When 13-year old Amy (Anna Paquin) loses her mother in a car accident, she goes to live with her hippy father (Jeff Daniels) on a farm in Canada. The estranged duo bond over a flock of geese that Amy rescues. Like Mother Goose, Amy leads the flock all around the farm while her rather odd duck father hatches a seemingly bird-brained plan to teach Amy to fly a small plane so she can lead the birds on their migration, which they cannot do without a mother. Amy flies the flock hundreds of miles away to wetlands threatened by a developer. This movie contains beautiful flight sequences as the geese soar over the countryside, following Amy and her little goose-painted plane. It won’t surprise you to know that the birds land safely. 3½ cans.
6. Monty Python & the Holy Grail (TV) – And now for something completely different, we follow the adventures of Arthur, King of the Britons, as he and his knights seek the holy grail. Accompanied by Lancelot, Galahad and a band of brothers, they gallop horseless around the countryside, facing killer rabbits, insulting Frenchmen and animated threats in their quest for absolute silliness. A little of the Python troop goes a long way, but this is the holy grail of Python antics. 3½ cans for imagination and exuberance.
7. The Thin Man (TCM) – Whodunit? That’s the question facing urbane Nick Charles, slick sleuth husband to Nora and a reluctant detective in a case where more bodies keep turning up. Considered the gem in the series of Nick and Nora movies, this 1934 movie is more style than substance. Nick and Nora prefer drinking to detective work, and their world is filled with what were then called “gay” parties, which at the time meant nothing more than having fun. Nick ultimately solves the case in a roomful of suspects, in a way that reminded me of Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the lead pipe. Modestly entertaining and intriguing. 3½ cans.
8. The Great Waldo Pepper (TV) – In keeping with this year’s theme of watching movies I either haven’t seen in many years or have never seen, I thought I’d revisit this 1975 story of barnstorming pilots in an aerial circus in the 1920s. I tried to remember what I initially found so appealing about this “Not So Great Waldo Pepper” movie and realized it was just one thing – its star, Robert Redford. I was a sucker for Redford back then, with his tousled blond hair and toothy grin. He starred in many of my favorite movies – “All the President’s Men,” “Butch Cassidy,” “The Way We Were” and “The Sting” – but this is really the weak link in that chain of hits. In the words of the Bo Swenson character, “I don’t like it much.” 3 cans.
9. True Grit (in Manville, with Dee) – I don’t recall much from the original version of this western, but I can tell you that Jeff Bridges in his first 10 minutes outplays John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn. Here Bridges is a US. Marshall hired by young Maddie to track down her father’s killer. Bridges has really come into his own as an actor and here extends his recent success as Oscar’s Best Actor last year. Matt Damon plays a Texas Ranger already on the killer’s trail. The revelation is 14-year old Maddie, played with true grit by newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, who is light years ahead of the pouty Kim Darby in the original. There are some great lines in this version, and if you can get past the blood and mayhem (at one point I said to my friend, “I see dead people” because of all the shootings), it’s a fun ride. You don’t see many Westerns anymore, and, in fact, the last time I saw two men on horses it was in “Brokeback Mountain.” This is no BBM. 4 cans.
10. Shattered Glass (TV) – In the 1990s, young reporter Stephen Glass turned out a series of articles for The New Republic magazine that were so rich in detail and filled with such interesting characters that they almost read like fiction. Turns out, they were. Incredibly gifted and equally insecure, Glass wanted so much to win friends and influence people that he never let the facts get in the way, and if he couldn’t get the facts he wanted, he simply made them up. A hole in the fact-checking process at the magazine allowed checkers to rely on the reporter’s notes. When a rival magazine wants to do a follow-up on one of his stories, Glass’ world begins to shatter. Hayden Christiansen plays Glass as a skittish, lonely, people pleaser, and Peter Saarsgard delivers substance as his editor, growing ever more skeptical as Glass spins lie upon lie. Well acted and with an intriguing story that makes us question the veracity of what we read. 4 cans.
11. Big Night (TV) – Big Night is a big deal for sibling restaurateurs Primo and Secundo (Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci) in this comedy-drama. There’s good cooking in the kitchen, but the failing restaurant isn’t attracting enough business to keep the place going. A local competitor promises to get bandleader Louis Prima to stop by, and Primo prepares the meal of a lifetime. There is plenty of pasta with a side portion of bickering between brothers here, as they wait for their big break, risking everything on one big night. Both actors are underrated in general, and I find Tucci strong and believable, though I can’t vouch for anyone’s Italian accent. All I know is that the big pasta dish looked mighty tasty to me, and the movie had tasty morsels of its own. 3½ cans.
12. The Lion in Winter (TCM) – “What family doesn’t have its ups and downs?” ponders Eleanor, estranged wife of Henry. Dr. Phil would have a field day with this couple, whose love-hate relationship and disappointment in their three sons’ ability to succeed Henry in the family business cause constant bickering. The fact that Henry is the King of England and keeps his royal wife Eleanor for the most part locked up in a tower while he pursues young Alice so she can give him better sons understandably adds to the strain in their relationship. Brilliant dialog and tongue-in-cheek performances by leads Peter O’Toole and Katherine Hepburn (who shared the Oscar that year with newcomer Barbra Streisand) result in a thoroughly satisfying and often amusing tale. A young Anthony Hopkins plays oldest son Richard. I hadn’t seen this movie in years but it was worth the wait. 5 cans.
This year I have resolved to try to see movies I have never seen before or movies that I haven’t seen in such a long time that I can barely remember them. That means occasionally bypassing “The Graduate” and “Shawshank Redemption” – or at least not reviewing them – in favor of something completely different (see number 6 below). For those of you who follow along, I hope to continue to give you suggestions you find useful or to entertain you along the way. As always, films are rated on a scale of 1-5 cans of tuna, preferably my favorite, Bumble Bee.
1. Requiem for a Heavyweight (TV) – This is Rod Serling’s sad tale of Mountain Rivera, an over-the-hill heavyweight boxer (Anthony Quinn) who is one blow away from blindness. After a 17-year career and one-time title hopes, Mountain has nowhere to go and nothing to do. A kind heart and an addled mind make him feel obligated to his manager (Jackie Gleason), who has been making a living off his prize catch long beyond the boxer’s true expiration date. Mountain, proud that he never took a dive, doesn’t know that his own manager bet against him to cash in on a big payday, only to be thwarted by the boxer’s unexpected stamina. Gleason, Mickey Rooney and Quinn, with a mumble like Marlon Brando’s Vito Corleone, shine in this drama, originally produced for TV. Julie Harris has a part as a sympathetic unemployment worker anxious to help Rivera (that part seemed a little on the science fiction side to me). 4 cans.
2. Raging Bull (TV) – It sickens me to think of Robert DeNiro selling his creative soul to commercial crap like “Little Fockers.” Here he portrays boxer Jake LaMotta, a raging man who bulls his way through life, wives, family, friends and the boxing ring. This movie, along with “Mean Streets,” represents the quintessential collaboration between DeNiro and director Martin Scorsese, depicting New York life and desperate characters searching for something they cannot quite understand. This is the first movie I can recall where an actor transformed his body to resemble the character – first trimming down to a buff physique and then by gaining 80 pounds to play the same character as fat, flabby and nearly forgotten. Brilliant work, made better by the astute choice of black and white cinematography that adds a gritty texture. One of the best movies ever made, but clearly not for all audiences. 5 raging cans.
3. The Caine Mutiny (TCM) – This thought-provoking movie stars Humphrey Bogart as Lt. Colonel Queeg, the somewhat paranoid, slightly off-kilter Captain of the Caine, a ship in disrepair that the captain is determined to salvage. His senior officers immediately dislike his by-the-book approach, focusing on details like having the crew’s shirts tucked in, and they question his courage. When a typhoon hits the ship near Pearl Harbor, Queeg’s insistence on following orders puts the ship in jeopardy and causes Executive Officer Steven Marek (Van Johnson) to take control. Is Marek’s act a mutiny, or was the ship in danger of going down because of Queeg’s incompetence? Watch the movie and see for yourself. In the end, it’s all about the strawberries. 4½ cans.
4. Mildred Pierce (TCM) – Is there a mother anywhere who hasn’t said (or at least wanted to say) to her child, “After all I do for you, this is the gratitude I get?” In the case of Mildred Pierce, you could hardly blame her. Mildred (Joan Crawford, complete with big bangs, oversized shoulder pads and oh, those eyebrows, won an Oscar for her performance) is a hard working mother who dotes on her daughters. When the younger one dies, all of her attention shifts to Veda, her spoiled older daughter whose taste for the good life makes her ever more demanding. This is the classic ‘40s style movie, shot in black and white, with that film noir look. Everybody smokes and drinks, the men all wear fedoras, the score is dramatic and oh, yeah, somebody gets shot. I liked this movie, but I couldn’t stopping thinking about the Carol Burnett-Harvey Korman take-off. 3½ cans, mostly for the style.
5. Fly Away Home (TV) – When 13-year old Amy (Anna Paquin) loses her mother in a car accident, she goes to live with her hippy father (Jeff Daniels) on a farm in Canada. The estranged duo bond over a flock of geese that Amy rescues. Like Mother Goose, Amy leads the flock all around the farm while her rather odd duck father hatches a seemingly bird-brained plan to teach Amy to fly a small plane so she can lead the birds on their migration, which they cannot do without a mother. Amy flies the flock hundreds of miles away to wetlands threatened by a developer. This movie contains beautiful flight sequences as the geese soar over the countryside, following Amy and her little goose-painted plane. It won’t surprise you to know that the birds land safely. 3½ cans.
6. Monty Python & the Holy Grail (TV) – And now for something completely different, we follow the adventures of Arthur, King of the Britons, as he and his knights seek the holy grail. Accompanied by Lancelot, Galahad and a band of brothers, they gallop horseless around the countryside, facing killer rabbits, insulting Frenchmen and animated threats in their quest for absolute silliness. A little of the Python troop goes a long way, but this is the holy grail of Python antics. 3½ cans for imagination and exuberance.
7. The Thin Man (TCM) – Whodunit? That’s the question facing urbane Nick Charles, slick sleuth husband to Nora and a reluctant detective in a case where more bodies keep turning up. Considered the gem in the series of Nick and Nora movies, this 1934 movie is more style than substance. Nick and Nora prefer drinking to detective work, and their world is filled with what were then called “gay” parties, which at the time meant nothing more than having fun. Nick ultimately solves the case in a roomful of suspects, in a way that reminded me of Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the lead pipe. Modestly entertaining and intriguing. 3½ cans.
8. The Great Waldo Pepper (TV) – In keeping with this year’s theme of watching movies I either haven’t seen in many years or have never seen, I thought I’d revisit this 1975 story of barnstorming pilots in an aerial circus in the 1920s. I tried to remember what I initially found so appealing about this “Not So Great Waldo Pepper” movie and realized it was just one thing – its star, Robert Redford. I was a sucker for Redford back then, with his tousled blond hair and toothy grin. He starred in many of my favorite movies – “All the President’s Men,” “Butch Cassidy,” “The Way We Were” and “The Sting” – but this is really the weak link in that chain of hits. In the words of the Bo Swenson character, “I don’t like it much.” 3 cans.
9. True Grit (in Manville, with Dee) – I don’t recall much from the original version of this western, but I can tell you that Jeff Bridges in his first 10 minutes outplays John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn. Here Bridges is a US. Marshall hired by young Maddie to track down her father’s killer. Bridges has really come into his own as an actor and here extends his recent success as Oscar’s Best Actor last year. Matt Damon plays a Texas Ranger already on the killer’s trail. The revelation is 14-year old Maddie, played with true grit by newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, who is light years ahead of the pouty Kim Darby in the original. There are some great lines in this version, and if you can get past the blood and mayhem (at one point I said to my friend, “I see dead people” because of all the shootings), it’s a fun ride. You don’t see many Westerns anymore, and, in fact, the last time I saw two men on horses it was in “Brokeback Mountain.” This is no BBM. 4 cans.
10. Shattered Glass (TV) – In the 1990s, young reporter Stephen Glass turned out a series of articles for The New Republic magazine that were so rich in detail and filled with such interesting characters that they almost read like fiction. Turns out, they were. Incredibly gifted and equally insecure, Glass wanted so much to win friends and influence people that he never let the facts get in the way, and if he couldn’t get the facts he wanted, he simply made them up. A hole in the fact-checking process at the magazine allowed checkers to rely on the reporter’s notes. When a rival magazine wants to do a follow-up on one of his stories, Glass’ world begins to shatter. Hayden Christiansen plays Glass as a skittish, lonely, people pleaser, and Peter Saarsgard delivers substance as his editor, growing ever more skeptical as Glass spins lie upon lie. Well acted and with an intriguing story that makes us question the veracity of what we read. 4 cans.
11. Big Night (TV) – Big Night is a big deal for sibling restaurateurs Primo and Secundo (Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci) in this comedy-drama. There’s good cooking in the kitchen, but the failing restaurant isn’t attracting enough business to keep the place going. A local competitor promises to get bandleader Louis Prima to stop by, and Primo prepares the meal of a lifetime. There is plenty of pasta with a side portion of bickering between brothers here, as they wait for their big break, risking everything on one big night. Both actors are underrated in general, and I find Tucci strong and believable, though I can’t vouch for anyone’s Italian accent. All I know is that the big pasta dish looked mighty tasty to me, and the movie had tasty morsels of its own. 3½ cans.
12. The Lion in Winter (TCM) – “What family doesn’t have its ups and downs?” ponders Eleanor, estranged wife of Henry. Dr. Phil would have a field day with this couple, whose love-hate relationship and disappointment in their three sons’ ability to succeed Henry in the family business cause constant bickering. The fact that Henry is the King of England and keeps his royal wife Eleanor for the most part locked up in a tower while he pursues young Alice so she can give him better sons understandably adds to the strain in their relationship. Brilliant dialog and tongue-in-cheek performances by leads Peter O’Toole and Katherine Hepburn (who shared the Oscar that year with newcomer Barbra Streisand) result in a thoroughly satisfying and often amusing tale. A young Anthony Hopkins plays oldest son Richard. I hadn’t seen this movie in years but it was worth the wait. 5 cans.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
In Security
I arrived at the Rutgers Athletic Center for a recent basketball game and offered up my purse to the security guard for a routine check. As he pawed through my possessions, the young man asked, “Do you have any small firearms?”
Aside from Charlie’s Angels, I don’t know a single woman who could extricate a gun from her purse – or even locate a gun IN her purse if she had one – in time to do herself any good in the event of a mugging or other situation where protection might be appropriate. I am not in favor of guns of any kind, but if I owned one, I would use it like Barney Fife – gun safely holstered on my hip and bullet securely stored in my pocket.
“No,” I answered the guard, rather taken aback. “Just coupons and lip quencher.” Hey, it’s not like I was carrying a cap for a bottle of water, for which I think Rutgers throws you in jail or, even worse, makes you repeat your freshman class in Western Civ. Once I had a bottle cap confiscated from my purse during one of these routine checks. I’ve probably been profiled ever since. If I turned up now with either a small firearm or a bottle cap, I’d probably be subjected to a strip search (not without dinner and a movie!).
When I recounted this tale to one of my fan friends, she said I just looked “suspicious.” On the contrary, to avoid profiling of any sort, if I am asked, everyone should be asked about carrying small firearms (and have their bottle caps confiscated, a situation you can mitigate by carrying one in your pocket, I’m told). Another friend told me about a woman she knows who was asked about carrying a bomb or explosive device at an airport screening. She made the wrong choice by attempting a humorous reply that she did have a bomb. Not so funny, declared the TSA team, who cleared the area, took her bag outside and detonated it. That woman with the poor judgment WAS my friend’s doctor, but she has since switched physicians. After all, you don’t really want your doctor to tell you that your test results came back and you are dying – oops, only kidding! That story makes me glad I reacted timidly to the RU security guard when asked about carrying small firearms and that I didn’t have a snappy rejoinder like, “No, my weapons are all outside in my car.”
Security makes me insecure. I worry about my image on a full body scan and whether the airport security staff will laugh. I worry about having my overstuffed bag opened and then having to repack it in time to make the flight. The way I pack, it could be an Olympic event, with time trails and everything. I worry that they will confiscate my mousse and my hair will be flat for the rest of my trip.
When I worked for Johnson & Johnson, there was a poster that instructed employees to be aware of their surroundings and, if they saw someone carrying something that looked suspicious, to report it. I was confounded by this request. First, everyone entering the building carts in all manner of bags. There are laptop cases, gym bags, the tote bag you use for your shoes and lunch, the bag carrying the leftover cheesecake you don’t want in your house so you bring it to the office – you get the idea. So how qualified would I be to determine what looks suspicious? And second, if I did want to report someone, how would I do it? Would I tell the person in my sternest voice to stay right there and don’t move because you look suspicious and I am reporting you? Would I sneak off to the security desk and stand on line behind three visitors and two people signing in because they forgot their ID badges while the alleged would-be perpetrator made his/her way through the building with a potentially deadly cheesecake? Should this be my responsibility?
I always though it was strange that Johnson & Johnson security wanted employees to pick up their guests visiting the building. If one of them had a gun or an explosive device, would you want me to disarm the person? I’m not sure my secretary should be responsible for the security of the Tower where top management has its offices. Besides, once in, a guest can wander around all day, as long as her/she wears the temporary security badge issued.
Ironically, now, when I return to J&J, they make me stand on line and sign in, even after showing them my official retiree card. It’s like I didn’t work there for 34 years, or everyone has forgotten me. So much for “gone, but not forgotten.”
And then there was the time my friend’s husband came to Johnson & Johnson for lunch. After spending 10 minutes chatting with him, asking about his grandchildren and how he was enjoying retirement, the security guard, before allowing him to enter the building, said, “Jack, I’m going to need to see some ID.” Really? You know his name and his grandchildren and you want ID? Wasn’t your conversation with him interrogation enough to prove it was really him? After all, he knew the names of the grandchildren, didn’t he?
And besides, it wasn’t like he was carrying a small firearm. Or a bottle cap.
Aside from Charlie’s Angels, I don’t know a single woman who could extricate a gun from her purse – or even locate a gun IN her purse if she had one – in time to do herself any good in the event of a mugging or other situation where protection might be appropriate. I am not in favor of guns of any kind, but if I owned one, I would use it like Barney Fife – gun safely holstered on my hip and bullet securely stored in my pocket.
“No,” I answered the guard, rather taken aback. “Just coupons and lip quencher.” Hey, it’s not like I was carrying a cap for a bottle of water, for which I think Rutgers throws you in jail or, even worse, makes you repeat your freshman class in Western Civ. Once I had a bottle cap confiscated from my purse during one of these routine checks. I’ve probably been profiled ever since. If I turned up now with either a small firearm or a bottle cap, I’d probably be subjected to a strip search (not without dinner and a movie!).
When I recounted this tale to one of my fan friends, she said I just looked “suspicious.” On the contrary, to avoid profiling of any sort, if I am asked, everyone should be asked about carrying small firearms (and have their bottle caps confiscated, a situation you can mitigate by carrying one in your pocket, I’m told). Another friend told me about a woman she knows who was asked about carrying a bomb or explosive device at an airport screening. She made the wrong choice by attempting a humorous reply that she did have a bomb. Not so funny, declared the TSA team, who cleared the area, took her bag outside and detonated it. That woman with the poor judgment WAS my friend’s doctor, but she has since switched physicians. After all, you don’t really want your doctor to tell you that your test results came back and you are dying – oops, only kidding! That story makes me glad I reacted timidly to the RU security guard when asked about carrying small firearms and that I didn’t have a snappy rejoinder like, “No, my weapons are all outside in my car.”
Security makes me insecure. I worry about my image on a full body scan and whether the airport security staff will laugh. I worry about having my overstuffed bag opened and then having to repack it in time to make the flight. The way I pack, it could be an Olympic event, with time trails and everything. I worry that they will confiscate my mousse and my hair will be flat for the rest of my trip.
When I worked for Johnson & Johnson, there was a poster that instructed employees to be aware of their surroundings and, if they saw someone carrying something that looked suspicious, to report it. I was confounded by this request. First, everyone entering the building carts in all manner of bags. There are laptop cases, gym bags, the tote bag you use for your shoes and lunch, the bag carrying the leftover cheesecake you don’t want in your house so you bring it to the office – you get the idea. So how qualified would I be to determine what looks suspicious? And second, if I did want to report someone, how would I do it? Would I tell the person in my sternest voice to stay right there and don’t move because you look suspicious and I am reporting you? Would I sneak off to the security desk and stand on line behind three visitors and two people signing in because they forgot their ID badges while the alleged would-be perpetrator made his/her way through the building with a potentially deadly cheesecake? Should this be my responsibility?
I always though it was strange that Johnson & Johnson security wanted employees to pick up their guests visiting the building. If one of them had a gun or an explosive device, would you want me to disarm the person? I’m not sure my secretary should be responsible for the security of the Tower where top management has its offices. Besides, once in, a guest can wander around all day, as long as her/she wears the temporary security badge issued.
Ironically, now, when I return to J&J, they make me stand on line and sign in, even after showing them my official retiree card. It’s like I didn’t work there for 34 years, or everyone has forgotten me. So much for “gone, but not forgotten.”
And then there was the time my friend’s husband came to Johnson & Johnson for lunch. After spending 10 minutes chatting with him, asking about his grandchildren and how he was enjoying retirement, the security guard, before allowing him to enter the building, said, “Jack, I’m going to need to see some ID.” Really? You know his name and his grandchildren and you want ID? Wasn’t your conversation with him interrogation enough to prove it was really him? After all, he knew the names of the grandchildren, didn’t he?
And besides, it wasn’t like he was carrying a small firearm. Or a bottle cap.
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