Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey

How often do I really look in the mirror at my hair? Not that much. I rarely look at the back of my head at all, figuring that’s the view for other people.

So when I was recently assessing the state of my blonde highlights (I hate to disappoint you, but none of the blonde is natural), I realized for the first time how much grey there is throughout my hair: About 50 shades of grey, I figure. (Get your mind out of the gutter immediately. This is HAIR talk, not an essay on some smutty book.)

We’ve all thought about it. Some people get a little grey a little young and immediately start coloring their hair. Some people turn all grey and then white, which I think on many people is a great look. Take British actress Dame Judith Dench, for example. She has a closely cropped ‘do of all white that makes her look better than ever. Interestingly, when I recently saw her new movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” at the old folks theater in Montgomery, there was a sea of similarly colored, if not coiffed, heads surrounding me – most of them on women. And most of them natural.

Remember the old ad campaign for Clairol: “Does she or doesn’t she?” That advertising centered more around the “Blondes have more fun” concept, encouraging women to change the color of their hair long before grey becomes an issue – just to spice up their social lives. I don’t know if blondes have more fun, but I don’t recall ever hearing a blonde say, “where can I get that mousy brown shade? I need to have less fun in my life.”

But when it is not a question of changing your hair color to improve your social life, but instead a way to ward off feeling old and grey? Sometime in the aging process we move from “Does she or doesn’t she?” to “Should I or shouldn’t I?” when it comes to hair color. I know some people who had very dark hair before they started getting grey. Now, coloring it that same dark shade, you see an identifiable path of creeping white along the part or up at the temples, like waves seeking shore. They spend inordinate amounts of time examining the encroaching color to determine when to go for the kill. This can involve a trip to the salon or the process of coloring it at home, using a kit. But good grief, have you seen the hair color aisle in the store? Talk about 50 shades of grey! There are hundreds of shades of every color. How does one decide between autumn blonde and sienna? And who comes up with these names (and the names for paint colors and lipsticks, for that matter)?

Some people’s choice of hair color just gets lighter and lighter as they get grey, though there is no actual grey discernible. I have seen some men, for example, seem to go from black to a look only Red Skelton would love. Natural? I think not. In women, the tendency is to favor blonde. So that raven-haired girl who sat next to you in high school chemistry has used enough chemicals on her head now to look like the blonde cheerleader who you envied. Only by now, she’s probably grey, too.

My grey is different, and, I’d like to think, partially disguised by the surrounding blonde highlights. I think of this mixture as the highlights I pay for and the highlights that come free with the territory.

I’d kind of like to see what happens with my hair instead of coloring it. I can continue with this combination of paid-for blonde and natural brown and encroaching grey to decide when the grey has so far outpaced the blonde that I need to reverse the trend. Or maybe I’ll emulate Jay Leno, who started with dark hair and a white streak and ended up with white hair and one streak of dark hair left over. These days I can’t tell if Helen Mirren is blonde or grey, but that’s a look I’d wear (only shorter).

While on Grand Jury duty recently, I observed the room from my perch in the last row. There are a few people who still have their original color hair, or so it seems, while others have the second original color of their hair, now turned white. It doesn’t look bad on that guy who sleeps through every session, but that’s another story.

I just know that whatever path I take on this “Should she or shouldn’t she decision?” one thing you won’t see are highlights of a completely different hue. No 50 shades of blue for me.